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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
19
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hey, mom, are you
gonna wear that to church,
20
00:00:11,677 --> 00:00:14,096
or is it just laundry day?
Ha ha ha ha.
21
00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:17,350
Think about it.
22
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:23,105
No. There's an emergency
at the hospital,
23
00:00:23,272 --> 00:00:24,732
and they're really
short-staffed.
24
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:28,152
I'm sorry I'm not gonna
make it to church today.
25
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:29,737
All right!
No church!
26
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,697
Hey, we can watch
the brewers game.
27
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:33,658
Sounds great!
28
00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:35,451
Laurie will cook us up
a couple of hot dogs--
29
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,829
no. No brewers, no hot
dogs, no nice day.
30
00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:41,707
You're gonna make sure
these kids get to church.
31
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,876
Why do we have to go?
32
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,962
Well, I have a million
reasons and no time.
33
00:00:46,128 --> 00:00:48,714
Now, here's a dollar
for the offering.
34
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:55,596
And you remember-- you
sing loud, you sing proud.
35
00:00:57,181 --> 00:00:59,976
Hey, how about you? How
come you never have to go?
36
00:01:01,602 --> 00:01:04,313
Eric...
37
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:08,442
God and I had
a heart to heart...
38
00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:13,364
While I watched my destroyer
go down in the south pacific.
39
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:16,033
We're real good.
40
00:01:17,076 --> 00:01:19,537
You're not.
41
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,789
Red: Go.
42
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:24,458
Okay.
43
00:01:26,502 --> 00:01:27,962
Well, I'll see ya.
44
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,965
I'm gonna go meet some friends
behind the bowling alley.
45
00:01:31,882 --> 00:01:34,343
Laurie, we're supposed
to go to church.
46
00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:39,056
[Mimics] Oh, we're supposed
to go to church.
47
00:01:39,223 --> 00:01:42,810
Stop being such a little girl
and do something bad for once.
48
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:49,900
♪ Hangin' out ♪
49
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:53,362
♪ down the street ♪
50
00:01:53,529 --> 00:01:56,991
♪ the same old thing ♪
51
00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,536
♪ we did last week ♪
52
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:04,498
♪ not a thing to do ♪
53
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:08,044
♪ but talk to you ♪
54
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:12,506
♪ we're all all right ♪
♪ we're all all right ♪
55
00:02:12,673 --> 00:02:14,800
Hello, Wisconsin!
56
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,892
So, Eric, I see you're
not in church today.
57
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,187
Uh, no. Now that I'm not
a virgin anymore,
58
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:29,649
there's really nothing left
to pray for.
59
00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:35,279
Man, my life sucks.
60
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,907
Ever since Jackie left,
I'm no good at pinball.
61
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,701
You were never good
at pinball.
62
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:44,413
Let's look at the bright side
of not having Jackie.
63
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:48,626
First, no Jackie.
64
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,045
Second, now you can do
all the things
65
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,464
that you could never do
when you were with her, man...
66
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,424
Which was at last count...
67
00:02:55,591 --> 00:02:58,803
Everything.
68
00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:01,389
Oh, man...
You're right.
69
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:03,224
You know, Jackie never
ever wanted me to, like,
70
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:07,353
cheat on her,
or grow a beard,
71
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,896
and I always
wanted to.
72
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:12,400
And now I can
let this grow out!
73
00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,777
May I grow one, too?
74
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,988
I don't know, Fez. The two of
us growing beards together...
75
00:03:18,155 --> 00:03:23,160
Isn't that kind
of girlie?
76
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:27,415
Hmm, well, I just figure
the more the hairier.
77
00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:35,631
Oh, I'm surrounded
by idiots.
78
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:43,889
Hey, you know what might make
our church ploy work better?
79
00:03:44,056 --> 00:03:48,060
If you'd button
your shirt.
80
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,775
Oh, and, uh--hey, what's
that in your hair?
81
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:57,737
Oh, a cigarette butt.
That's nice.
82
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:02,324
Ugh. That's the last time
I make out on asphalt.
83
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,453
Ah...there they are.
84
00:04:05,619 --> 00:04:07,037
My little angels
are home.
85
00:04:07,204 --> 00:04:09,081
How was church,
good sermon?
86
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,708
You know, fine.
87
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,627
Jesus said something
really wise.
88
00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:17,173
People said,
oh, that Jesus.
89
00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:19,633
And now we go and try and
live our lives that way.
90
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,929
You mean, like a couple of,
uh, big, fat liars?
91
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,892
Yeah. I ran into Bob
out in the driveway,
92
00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:30,186
and he told me you
weren't at church.
93
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:34,648
God! I hate Bob!
94
00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:38,402
I tried to go, daddy, but Eric
wouldn't give me a ride.
95
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,533
Hey, Mary magdalene, there's
some gum on your neck.
96
00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:50,080
I can't believe that my own
children would do this.
97
00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:52,166
Mom, I mean, it's
such a nice day.
98
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,752
And we wanted to get
some of that fresh air
99
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,504
you're always
telling us about.
100
00:04:56,670 --> 00:05:00,591
Hey. Nobody likes
a smart-mouth sinner.
101
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,343
You know, this
wouldn't have happened
102
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,012
if someone had made sure his
children had gotten to church.
103
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,556
Well, i--
104
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,976
damn!
105
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:13,103
All right, from now on,
you kids are going to church.
106
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:14,772
That's an order.
107
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:15,898
Oh, dad...
108
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,107
Okay, okay, you know what.
109
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,359
We shouldn't have
to force them.
110
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:19,527
They're almost grown up.
111
00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:21,862
They can make up
their own minds.
112
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,531
Really?
113
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:26,200
Sure.
114
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,868
If you want to turn
your backs on god
115
00:05:28,035 --> 00:05:31,038
and spend eternity doing
laps in a lake of fire,
116
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,874
well, that's your choice!
117
00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:41,632
So...guys...
118
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,885
Well, what do you think
of the beard?!
119
00:05:45,052 --> 00:05:48,264
Yes, it's not bad
after one week, huh?
120
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,140
I think
it's stupid.
121
00:05:50,307 --> 00:05:52,935
You look
like a hobo.
122
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,645
Well, you're crazy.
123
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,522
Well, you look
like a hobo.
124
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,775
Crazy!
Hobo!
125
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,695
Yeah, well, I like it.
I think it looks rugged.
126
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,573
Look how thick
it's coming in.
127
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,166
Hello.
128
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,960
Well, Fez, that's
a nice beard.
129
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:22,047
It will be, once it
really comes in.
130
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:24,508
Doesn't Michael's
look stupid?
131
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,260
I mean, it's not even
growing in right.
132
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,387
It's all patchy.
133
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:32,057
Ha ha.
Poor patchy.
134
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,351
All right, I don't
have to take this.
135
00:06:34,518 --> 00:06:38,022
Aw, now we made
patchy upset.
136
00:06:38,188 --> 00:06:41,358
Bye, patchy.
So long, patchy.
137
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,614
I miss patchy.
138
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:48,991
God, doesn't Michael look
hot with that beard?
139
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,911
I mean, it's all
rough and forbidden.
140
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,039
I thought you said
kelso looked stupid.
141
00:06:55,205 --> 00:06:57,207
Well, I can't
tell him I like it.
142
00:06:57,374 --> 00:07:00,169
I hate his guts!
143
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,922
But I hate him even more
now that he's so hot.
144
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:06,800
That hot bearded jerk.
145
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,386
What about
my beard?
146
00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:12,514
It has egg in it.
147
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,393
Laurie, what
are you doing?
148
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,937
Church starts
in 10 minutes.
149
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,064
Mom, I'm not going!
150
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:23,317
What?
151
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,611
Well...eric's
not going either.
152
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,821
Oh, of course he is.
153
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:29,907
Well, no, ah,
I thought--
154
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,992
mom, I thought you said
we had the choice.
155
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:34,536
Uh-huh.
156
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:39,124
And I chose no.
157
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,921
But, uh, yes was
a close second.
158
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,132
You know, I don't
understand this at all.
159
00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:50,344
You give me one good reason why
you don't want to go to church.
160
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,012
It's hot.
It's boring.
161
00:07:52,179 --> 00:07:53,514
The music sucks.
The pastor's ugly.
162
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,974
I have to
wear a tie.
163
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:58,352
I have to wear a bra.
164
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,772
Enough.
165
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:05,526
What about Hyde? I mean,
he doesn't have to go.
166
00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:09,113
While I respect
the judeo Christian ethic,
167
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,948
as well as the eastern
philosophies
168
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,075
and, of course,
the teachings of Mohammed,
169
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,911
I find that organized religions
have corrupted those beliefs
170
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,622
to justify countless atrocities
throughout history.
171
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:22,084
Were I to attend church,
I'd be a hypocrite.
172
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,384
Okay, you know what?
173
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,720
I am leaving
in 5 minutes.
174
00:08:32,886 --> 00:08:36,306
And I'm sure you will make
the right decision.
175
00:08:38,308 --> 00:08:40,602
No. You'll make
the right decision.
176
00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:42,479
And you drag her with you.
177
00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:48,777
Something tells me I will not
be sitting in that pew alone.
178
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,749
Hey, kitty, the pinciottis
are all here.
179
00:09:01,915 --> 00:09:04,710
Where's the rest
of team forman?
180
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,254
Oh, I'm all alone today.
181
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:09,131
All alone?
182
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,176
Ick! That's just
embarrassing.
183
00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:13,844
Well, that's a shame.
184
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,055
Because if there's anyone who
has some confessing to do,
185
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:19,433
it's that dirty,
dirty son of yours.
186
00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,686
Excuse me, ma'am.
187
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,564
Is this seat taken, ma'am?
188
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,192
Do you see anyone?
189
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:34,782
I love it here, man.
190
00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:37,284
The guy up there
tells stories,
191
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,870
that guy wails
on the organ,
192
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,499
you can sing as loud
as you want.
193
00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:47,419
It's almost a religious
experience.
194
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,380
I kind of think this
is what heaven's
195
00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:52,257
gonna be like, you know.
196
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:56,595
Plus they'll have
an open bar.
197
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,818
Right this way.
198
00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:13,362
Wipe your feet,
please.
199
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,406
Sorry, no flash
photography.
200
00:10:16,573 --> 00:10:17,783
Next.
201
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,034
Oh, that's us.
202
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,494
Forman, party of 4.
203
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,246
I'm sorry,
I can't let you in.
204
00:10:22,412 --> 00:10:24,915
What?
205
00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:27,376
All of us or...
206
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:30,087
Just Laurie?
207
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,630
All of you.
208
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,299
Hi, Laurie.
209
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:41,181
Kitty, if you'd only gone
to church with your family,
210
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:42,683
but you didn't.
211
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,395
So, down you go.
212
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,397
All: Aah!
213
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,275
Ha ha ha ha!
I love that gag.
214
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:55,237
Step aside,
would you please?
215
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,864
Next.
216
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:59,658
Hey there, ho there.
Hi there, coming through.
217
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:04,746
Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.
218
00:11:04,913 --> 00:11:06,331
What can I do?
219
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:10,127
They went to church.
220
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,505
Here's 20. Can you
find us a place up front?
221
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,759
All right,
that's it.
222
00:11:17,926 --> 00:11:19,052
I'm kicking
Bob's ass.
223
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:20,387
Red!
224
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,098
Well, kitty, we're
going to hell anyway.
225
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:37,362
Well, that's just
not gonna happen.
226
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:41,909
Thanks, man.
227
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,502
How was church?
228
00:11:52,669 --> 00:11:53,754
Great!
229
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,965
I figured out what to do
with our sinner children.
230
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,344
Kitty, our kids are fine.
231
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,803
Oh, really?
232
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:03,180
So, why is Laurie--
233
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,349
hey, hey.
234
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:07,184
If we're gonna start
taking shots at our kids,
235
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:10,312
let's focus on Eric.
236
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,147
Okay, see, now,
that's the point.
237
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,733
He needs to learn
right from wrong.
238
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,194
I don't want him
turning bad.
239
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:20,364
Oh, kitty. I don't think
Eric's gonna turn bad.
240
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:24,660
He's too much
of a panty-waist.
241
00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:28,247
I know why you're
defending them, red.
242
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,208
You feel guilty because
you set a bad example.
243
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,960
Hey, I go to church.
244
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:37,130
Just not during televised
sporting events.
245
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:42,219
You know, kitty, when
my destroyer went down
246
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:43,679
in the south pacif--
247
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:47,224
oh, blah, blah, blah.
248
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,686
Fine. If I thought the kids
weren't going because of me,
249
00:12:50,852 --> 00:12:52,896
I'd go.
250
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:57,109
Fortunately I don't think that,
so I'm not going.
251
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,445
Well, that's all
well and good, red,
252
00:13:00,612 --> 00:13:02,239
but since they
won't go to church,
253
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,283
I'm bringing
the church to them.
254
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:06,410
I've asked Dave, the
church's youth minister,
255
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:10,122
to come here for dinner,
and he said, "groovy."
256
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,833
Sounds like a great idea.
257
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,293
You really think so?
258
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:15,669
I don't have to be there,
right? No.
259
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,922
Sounds like a great idea.
260
00:13:20,507 --> 00:13:22,217
You should really go
to church, Eric.
261
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,387
'Cause god,
he sees everything.
262
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:29,016
It's why I live my life
good and pure.
263
00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:32,811
Kelso, you were dating
two girls at the same time.
264
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,604
Yeah, but god
didn't see that.
265
00:13:34,771 --> 00:13:38,483
I was in my Van, and he
can't see through lead.
266
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,533
I don't want to get into
a religious argument,
267
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:51,413
but my god can kick
your god's ass.
268
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,669
God is dead, man.
269
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,963
It said so
in time magazine.
270
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,840
No, man.
271
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,886
I sat next to god once
on the bus.
272
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,471
He told me the meaning
of life,
273
00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:11,224
and then he
gave me a pretzel.
274
00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:14,061
So what's the meaning
of life, man?
275
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:19,775
Uh, yeah. I guess I
should have written it down.
276
00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:24,071
But it was
a good pretzel, man.
277
00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:27,574
Maybe this life doesn't
even matter, you know.
278
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:30,911
Maybe we're not even here.
279
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:36,666
Or no. Maybe I'm here,
but you're not.
280
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,753
Hello?
281
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,507
You know what the best
thing god ever did was?
282
00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:46,343
Boobs!
283
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:50,806
Yes. And god said,
let there be boobs.
284
00:14:50,972 --> 00:14:53,850
And then there were boobs.
285
00:14:54,017 --> 00:14:56,436
Hey, if god is all-powerful,
286
00:14:56,603 --> 00:15:01,691
can he make a boob so big
that even he can't lift it?
287
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:04,319
Well, that's
a good question, man.
288
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:07,989
I'll ask him next time
I'm on the bus.
289
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,619
Oh, my god!
Here comes Michael.
290
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,539
Isn't he gorgeous?
291
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:20,877
Jackie, he's the dog that lied
and cheated on you, remember?
292
00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:24,464
Good! Good! Keep
saying stuff like that
293
00:15:24,631 --> 00:15:27,592
so that I don't throw
myself at him.
294
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,887
Gee, I'll try.
295
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,099
Oh, hey.
296
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,225
Excuse me.
297
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,560
Hey, Michael.
298
00:15:36,726 --> 00:15:39,438
You submental
two-timing dog.
299
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,649
Hey, Jackie.
300
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,234
So where you off to?
301
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:47,904
You lying, cheating
dirtbag jerk.
302
00:15:48,071 --> 00:15:49,739
Well, I'm just gonna
go over to the hub,
303
00:15:49,906 --> 00:15:52,659
grow my beard, you know.
304
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,829
Well, that's neat.
305
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,956
So, they allow scumwads
in there who lie
306
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,416
to their girlfriends
307
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,128
and cheat on them
and break their hearts?
308
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:09,759
Uh...i guess so. Yeah.
309
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,181
Now, I know some
of the kids today
310
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,932
think that god's
a real downer,
311
00:16:16,099 --> 00:16:19,644
but the truth is,
he's an upper.
312
00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:21,188
And let me
tell you something,
313
00:16:21,354 --> 00:16:24,024
there's a much better drug
than LSD or pcp.
314
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:28,069
I get high on g-o-d.
315
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,449
[Clear throat]
Virgin.
316
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:37,996
Bless you.
317
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,458
Okay, why am I here?
318
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:45,962
Because you're a young soul
in my care. Now sit, dammit.
319
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,882
Sorry, Dave.
320
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:55,305
I have a soft spot
for virgins.
321
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,479
'Cause they're such
a challenge.
322
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,775
[Nervously]
Religion can be cool.
323
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:10,278
In fact, Jesus was a lot
like another famous rebel.
324
00:17:10,445 --> 00:17:12,614
Fonzie.
325
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,991
But where fonzie
says, "ayyy".
326
00:17:15,158 --> 00:17:19,663
Jesus says,
ayy-men.
327
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:25,335
But, Dave, could Jesus
start a jukebox
328
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:28,129
just by hitting it?
329
00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:32,133
He could, but Jesus doesn't
like to hit anything.
330
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:36,263
Did he ever waterski
over a shark?
331
00:17:36,429 --> 00:17:40,976
Okay, does anyone have a
question about the Bible?
332
00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:43,144
I do.
333
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:46,439
Do you have
your own place?
334
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,529
Hey, you know what?
335
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:57,117
How 'bout we stop talking
and we start singing songs?
336
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,786
♪ Jesus is just
alright with me ♪
337
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:03,039
♪ Jesus is just alright
with me ♪
338
00:18:03,206 --> 00:18:04,416
Everyone!
339
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,293
♪ Jesus is just
alright with me ♪
340
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:07,877
♪ us ♪
341
00:18:08,044 --> 00:18:10,380
♪ Jesus is just alright,
oh, yeah ♪
342
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:13,174
♪ Jesus is just
alright with me ♪
343
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,929
♪ Jesus is just
alright with me ♪
344
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,765
Okay, let's take a look
at your pictures.
345
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:25,020
Kitty, what do you see
when you think of god?
346
00:18:25,186 --> 00:18:26,896
Oh, that's nice.
347
00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:28,940
Very lifelike.
348
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:31,568
See, he's, um, looking
down fondly on
349
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:34,738
all of us going to church.
350
00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:37,490
Steven?
351
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,577
Very good.
352
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,621
I see. When you think of god,
you see Jesus.
353
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:46,291
No, man.
It's Clapton.
354
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,251
Oh, my god, man.
355
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,255
I drew Clapton, too.
356
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,217
Okay...cool.
357
00:18:56,384 --> 00:18:59,596
Laurie?
358
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:02,932
I drew a special picture
just for you.
359
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:05,977
Look at it later,
when you're alone.
360
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,730
Uh, I got a pair of 10s.
361
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,398
Or as we say in
religious rummy,
362
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:14,152
a pair of apostles.
363
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:20,116
Ooh, um, I have a Jack,
a queen, and a king.
364
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:24,537
You mean a Joseph,
a Mary, and a Jesus.
365
00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:29,334
Wow! That's gonna be
hard to beat.
366
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,628
That's so true,
kitty.
367
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:34,255
Let's see what
Laurie's got.
368
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,341
6...
369
00:19:36,883 --> 00:19:38,760
6...
370
00:19:39,594 --> 00:19:41,763
6.
371
00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:51,981
Well, thank you all
for the lovely evening.
372
00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:55,235
I'll see you at the church.
373
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:08,873
[Seductively]
Oh, Michael..
374
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,381
[Angrily]
Oh, Michael!
375
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:32,230
Mom!
376
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,606
Eric, Laurie, get ready
for church.
377
00:20:33,773 --> 00:20:35,692
Wait a second. I thought
you said it was our choice.
378
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:40,238
Well, when you choose to
go, it'll be your choice.
379
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,992
Coming on to the youth
minister? You need church.
380
00:20:44,951 --> 00:20:47,495
Mom, why are you
doing this?
381
00:20:47,662 --> 00:20:49,122
I don't have
to have a reason.
382
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,041
It's right, I'm your mother,
now move.
383
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,501
But it's not fair.
384
00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:55,336
I mean, why do we
have to go to church?
385
00:20:55,503 --> 00:20:57,589
I mean...
386
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,133
Dad doesn't go.
387
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,718
Aha!
388
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,762
Aha, aha, aha, aha!
389
00:21:03,928 --> 00:21:05,889
Ha ha ha ha ha!
390
00:21:06,055 --> 00:21:09,559
Come on, everybody, the
formans are going to church!
391
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:20,612
You had to throw me under
the bus with you, didn't ya?
392
00:21:22,238 --> 00:21:24,449
Well, nice going, Eric.
393
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:25,950
Yeah. Nice going.
394
00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:30,121
Now I have to
put on a bra.
395
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,794
God hates me.
396
00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:40,548
♪ Oh, dear lord ♪
397
00:21:40,715 --> 00:21:42,425
♪ 3 things I pray ♪
398
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:44,636
♪ pray ♪
a!
399
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,847
♪ To see thee more clearly ♪
400
00:21:48,014 --> 00:21:50,558
♪ to see thee more ♪
b!
401
00:21:50,725 --> 00:21:52,310
♪ Love thee more nearly ♪
402
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:54,062
C!
403
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,814
♪ Follow thee more nearly ♪
404
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,732
♪ day by day ♪
405
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,108
♪ day by day ♪
406
00:21:59,275 --> 00:22:00,527
♪ day by ♪
407
00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:01,986
♪ day by day ♪
♪ day ♪
408
00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:03,446
♪ day by day ♪
409
00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:08,470
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