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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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heh.
20
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,136
So...[sighs]...
21
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:15,306
This is what it's like
to not be a virgin.
22
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:18,226
Yeah.
23
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,393
So...
24
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,353
How are you?
25
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,854
Good.
26
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,105
How are you?
27
00:00:23,272 --> 00:00:25,441
Good, good.
Good.
28
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,194
It was good.
29
00:00:31,155 --> 00:00:33,616
Right?
30
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,954
I can honestly say
the best I've ever had.
31
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,707
Was I good?
32
00:00:41,874 --> 00:00:43,668
Were you good?
33
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,462
Donna, you know how
my mom's all over my back
34
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,381
to write thank you notes,
and I never do?
35
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,757
Well--heh heh--
36
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,426
trust me. You're getting
a thank you note.
37
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,514
Okay. We'd better
get back downstairs
38
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,849
before people start
wondering where we are.
39
00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:03,729
Right. Oh... and we'll
need a cover story, so...
40
00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,606
Yeah. Let's just tell
everyone we had sex.
41
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,275
No.
42
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:09,151
Yeah, I know.
I'm kidding.
43
00:01:09,318 --> 00:01:12,280
Uh...we'll say we went out
for ice because...
44
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:15,575
We needed to cool
down from having sex!
45
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,579
Maybe I should do
the talking.
46
00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:21,914
Yeah, well, try to
work it in somewhere
47
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,458
that we had sex, in
conversation, if it comes up.
48
00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,627
Gracefully.
49
00:01:26,794 --> 00:01:29,755
♪ Hangin' out ♪
50
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:33,551
♪ down the street ♪
51
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:37,138
♪ the same old thing ♪
52
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:40,683
♪ we did last week ♪
53
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,520
♪ not a thing to do ♪
54
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,982
♪ but talk to you ♪
55
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:52,486
♪ we're all all right ♪
♪ we're all all right ♪
56
00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:55,656
Hello, Wisconsin!
57
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,078
You see, Fez,
58
00:02:01,245 --> 00:02:03,122
you take all the
partially consumed drinks
59
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:09,086
and mix 'em together into
one giant uber-drink.
60
00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:13,924
In this case-- Tom wallbanger
bloody sunrise on the beach.
61
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,388
Kelso, have you
been avoiding me?
62
00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:22,183
You kidding me? I'm
right here, aren't I?
63
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,934
It's just that ever since
I threatened
64
00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:25,478
to tell Jackie
about the two of us,
65
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,021
you've seemed
distant.
66
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,481
Laurie, that's
just crazy, all right?
67
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,734
You blackmailing me has just
brought us closer together.
68
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,990
Hey there, kids. Where
have you two been?
69
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,700
God, dad, can't we
be gone for a minute
70
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,745
without you making all
sorts of accusations?
71
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,247
I mean, god, it
was just a minute.
72
00:02:45,414 --> 00:02:48,959
To be fair, Donna... it was
a little more than a minute.
73
00:02:54,715 --> 00:02:58,135
Donna, one of your drunken
uncles is touching me.
74
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:02,515
Oh, my god.
75
00:03:04,725 --> 00:03:06,644
Oh...my god.
76
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:09,605
We need to talk,
right now.
77
00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:17,697
What?
78
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:32,378
Yay! My first paycheck
from pricemart!
79
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,214
The dark times
are over, kitty.
80
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,383
Oh, honey, those
weren't dark times.
81
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:42,680
It was...An economic segueway.
Pfft!
82
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,391
Well, it's over.
We should celebrate.
83
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:49,562
Come on, kitty,
let's get you pregnant.
84
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,689
I'm kidding.
85
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:57,153
You know I can barely
stand the kids we have.
86
00:03:57,319 --> 00:03:59,739
You know what
we should do?
87
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:03,743
Treat ourselves
to something nice.
88
00:04:04,785 --> 00:04:08,372
I know! We can
turn on the heat.
89
00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:16,297
All right...
Tell me everything.
90
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,299
No.
91
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,509
Come on, Donna. We're
supposed to be friends.
92
00:04:20,676 --> 00:04:21,927
Aren't we friends?
93
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:23,262
Well, yeah.
94
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,515
Okay, then. So...
95
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:30,394
What'd it look like?
96
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:31,854
Jackie!
97
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,733
Okay, we'll come back
to that one.
98
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,360
So, how was it?
99
00:04:38,527 --> 00:04:41,155
Jackie, I don't really
want to talk about it.
100
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,823
Oh...
101
00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:44,241
That bad, huh?
102
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:45,534
No!
103
00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:48,746
No, no.
It was great.
104
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,290
It just wasn't
what I expected.
105
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:55,085
I don't think
we did it right.
106
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,006
So Eric's not good?
107
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,510
It was more like... like
neither of us was good.
108
00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:07,223
Donna, it's not up
to the woman to be good.
109
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,227
I don't know, Jackie.
I mean, I love Eric,
110
00:05:11,393 --> 00:05:13,813
but when the moment came,
111
00:05:13,979 --> 00:05:17,608
it was just, like...
Awkward and weird...
112
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:22,112
And...i don't know. I just
felt so far away, you know?
113
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,699
No.
But go on.
114
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,160
During it, I just
remember thinking,
115
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:31,705
this is it.
This is what everyone...
116
00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:33,833
Everyone what?
117
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:37,419
That's as far as I got.
118
00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:41,382
Oh. See, that's
the problem.
119
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,175
That's not the problem.
120
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:46,679
Oh, trust me.
That's a problem.
121
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:48,973
Okay. You know what, Jackie?
Everything's fine.
122
00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:50,933
Just don't tell
anyone about this, okay?
123
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,310
Okay.
124
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,730
Okay?!
125
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:59,692
Okay!
126
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,652
Eric and Donna
had sex?
127
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,028
Yeah, yeah.
128
00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:06,657
And Eric...
Wasn't good at it.
129
00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:11,078
Wow. Really?
130
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:15,457
That's great!
Ha ha!
131
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,046
TV character: And I would've
gotten away with it, too,
132
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:24,675
if it wasn't
for those darn kids!
133
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,303
Oh...
134
00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:29,763
Oh, I love
this Scooby doo!
135
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,683
Forman, what the hell
you grinning about?
136
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,103
What?
137
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,689
A guy can't grin?
138
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,693
I think...
That maybe...
139
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:46,488
Forman and Donna finally made
the beast with 2 backs.
140
00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:53,203
The backosaurus?
141
00:06:54,121 --> 00:06:55,539
So?
142
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:59,543
Well, Hyde, I'm not saying yes,
and I'm not saying no, but...
143
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,421
I'm especially
not saying no.
144
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,549
Thank god.
Man, I'm telling you,
145
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,092
I couldn't deal
with one more week
146
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:09,595
of that will they-
won't they? Crap.
147
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:18,896
Hey.
Hey.
148
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,232
What's goin' on?
149
00:07:22,399 --> 00:07:24,443
Donna made forman
a man.
150
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:28,322
Okay. Yes,
she did. Heh.
151
00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:30,199
Really?
152
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:33,577
So...
How was it?
153
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,121
Well...
154
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:40,334
Boys...
155
00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:43,087
I tell you,
it was as if...
156
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,506
In that one
magic moment...
157
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,884
The two people, Donna and
Eric, ceased to exist
158
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:54,431
and were replaced instead
by one, perfect being.
159
00:07:55,766 --> 00:08:01,563
Donric formciotti.
160
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:07,861
So...eric, you're
saying it was good?
161
00:08:10,197 --> 00:08:15,828
Kelso, was Michelangelo's
creation of Adam good?
162
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,542
Yes, kelso, it was good!
163
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,712
So, well,
my first time...
164
00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:29,008
Jackie called me the
Apollo rocket of love.
165
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:32,845
What kind of rocket
were you?
166
00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:35,264
Where you going
with this, kelso?
167
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:38,434
Nowhere.
168
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,356
Except Jackie said you were
totally lame in the sack!
169
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:49,153
Jackie said?!
170
00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:52,197
Yeah. Donna told Jackie.
Jackie told me.
171
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,035
Oh, but you can't tell
Jackie I told you
172
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,746
'cause she'd get pissed.
173
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:02,249
It's okay, Eric. Maybe
sex isn't your thing.
174
00:09:13,927 --> 00:09:15,262
All right.
175
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,264
Almost there.
176
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,600
Oh, I can't wait
to see what we got.
177
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,435
Ohh...you're
gonna love it.
178
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,020
Are you ready?
179
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,146
Uh-huh!
180
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,107
♪ Ta-da! ♪
181
00:09:29,818 --> 00:09:31,820
A motorcycle?
182
00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:33,363
Don't you love it?!
183
00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:37,076
Of course I do, red.
What woman wouldn't?
184
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:38,702
Oh, you hate it.
185
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:42,623
Of course I do, red.
What woman wouldn't?!
186
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:47,419
Red, I thought-- I thought
we would get something
187
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:51,423
we both would enjoy,
like a...A necklace.
188
00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:55,886
But this is much better
than a necklace.
189
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,471
How?
190
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,598
Well, it's...
191
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,476
Not a stupid necklace.
192
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,148
But it's...Shiny!
193
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:16,573
Hey.
194
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:18,408
Hey.
195
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,541
So...
196
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,543
What's new?
197
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:28,836
Well...
198
00:10:29,002 --> 00:10:30,295
Turns out I'm really
lame in the sack.
199
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:32,548
What's new with you?
200
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:35,551
What?
201
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:37,386
Oh, it's all the news.
202
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,346
Jackie told kelso,
and kelso told all of us,
203
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,683
so...sorry i'm
lame in the sack.
204
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,811
I never said that. I said
it felt awkward and weird.
205
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:50,691
Oh...
206
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,693
What a relief.
207
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,778
You could've told me.
208
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,196
How am I supposed to tell
you something like that?
209
00:10:56,363 --> 00:10:57,531
I don't know. How about,
210
00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:01,034
hey, Eric, you're
awkward and weird?
211
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:02,828
You know what?
That's the problem.
212
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,204
We did this
really huge thing,
213
00:11:04,371 --> 00:11:05,914
and now I feel like I can't
even talk to you about it.
214
00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:09,001
Well, god knows,
you can talk to Jackie.
215
00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:12,421
I knew this was
gonna happen.
216
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,047
What?
217
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:16,175
I knew that once we did this,
everything would change,
218
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:19,011
and damned
if it didn't.
219
00:11:19,928 --> 00:11:21,889
Well...
220
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:23,348
If that's the way
you feel about it,
221
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:24,808
maybe we should
never do it again.
222
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,018
Great.
223
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,562
Oh...great!
Great.
224
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,650
Oh, great.
225
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:42,826
Look, kitty. Look how
good I look on it.
226
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:46,121
Hey...we could get
matching jackets.
227
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:50,209
You know how you love
things that match.
228
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,337
Red, what were
you thinking?
229
00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:55,631
Oh, come on, kitty.
230
00:11:55,797 --> 00:11:58,091
You know the last thing
I bought for myself?
231
00:11:58,258 --> 00:12:01,011
A hose.
232
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,930
Well, I'm sorry,
but we can't afford it.
233
00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:05,265
What do you mean?
I'm working again.
234
00:12:05,432 --> 00:12:07,059
But we still have
to get out of debt.
235
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,144
And we have to pay
for Eric's college,
236
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,355
and we got
Laurie's wedding,
237
00:12:11,521 --> 00:12:14,066
and you know whoever
she ends up with,
238
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:18,362
it's not gonna be
any rockefeller.
239
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,949
I suppose
you're right.
240
00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:25,494
Well, at least, let's take
one ride on it...
241
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:29,081
Before we
bring it back.
242
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,625
Okay, fine.
243
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,878
[Engine starts]
244
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,881
Oh, that feels nice.
245
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:40,050
[Revs engine]
246
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:43,387
Oh! That feels
very nice.
247
00:12:47,474 --> 00:12:49,726
Michael, how could you?
What'd I do?
248
00:12:49,893 --> 00:12:53,021
Michael, I didn't tell you
about Eric's... sad dilemma
249
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:56,024
so you could
make fun of him.
250
00:12:56,191 --> 00:12:58,986
I told you so
you could help him.
251
00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:03,991
Jackie, I can't help him and
burn him at the same time.
252
00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:07,661
Uh...i mean, come on, Jackie.
It's funny!
253
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,580
He must've been
really bad.
254
00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:12,833
Yeah? Well,
so were you.
255
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,336
Oh! All right,
Jackie,
256
00:13:16,503 --> 00:13:18,297
I don't think you know
what you're saying, okay?
257
00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:20,090
'Cause you called me your
Apollo rocket of love.
258
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:23,051
Right, but I
said it like,
259
00:13:23,218 --> 00:13:25,012
[sarcastic]
Oh, Michael,
260
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:30,600
you're a regular
Apollo rocket of love.
261
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,980
Okay, I don't hear
a difference.
262
00:13:40,235 --> 00:13:42,237
Eric, if it makes
you feel any better,
263
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,365
Michael was really bad
his first time, too.
264
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:47,909
Kelso: Oh!
265
00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:49,870
Oh. That's supposed
to make me feel better?
266
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,913
Doesn't it?
267
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,833
Yeah, a little.
Thanks, Jackie.
268
00:13:56,543 --> 00:14:00,881
Forman, I've been thinking
about your problem with Donna,
269
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:05,469
and after hours of
serious consideration...
270
00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:09,890
It still makes me laugh.
271
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,351
Hey, you leave Eric alone!
272
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:16,355
All right? He's our friend,
and he needs our help
273
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:18,315
in this,
his most desperate hour.
274
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,777
I'm with you, buddy.
Semper fi!
275
00:14:22,652 --> 00:14:24,696
Gee, kelso, why the
sudden change of heart?
276
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:27,699
Oh. Maybe it's because
the Apollo rocket of love
277
00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:30,911
blew up all over
the launch pad?
278
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,955
Ho ho! A mystery.
One suitable
279
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:38,627
for Scooby doo and his
gang of cartoon teenagers.
280
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:43,173
You know, guys, sometimes I
wish we were cartoon teenagers.
281
00:14:44,132 --> 00:14:46,968
Zoinks.
That'd be super, Fez.
282
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,013
Look, man, if god
had meant for virgins
283
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,433
to lose it
to other virgins,
284
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,977
he wouldn't have given us
middle-aged hookers, man!
285
00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:58,188
Amen, brother!
286
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,482
Because if there's
on thing men like us know,
287
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:03,527
it's how to have sex.
288
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:06,863
Oh, I cannot live
with this lie.
289
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,615
Everyone,
prepare to be shocked.
290
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:12,744
I, Fez, am still a virgin.
291
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:16,456
Gosh, my...World
no longer makes sense.
292
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,250
Fine, Hyde, but now that
the middle-aged-hooker
293
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,877
ship has sailed, what
am I supposed to do?
294
00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:22,712
Well, I know I
got a lot better
295
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:25,215
when I started making it
with your sister.
296
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:26,383
I got it!
297
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,218
You should make it
with my sister!
298
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:30,887
Kelso, man, I've seen
your sister.
299
00:15:31,054 --> 00:15:33,390
She's a virgin,
and she's gonna be...
300
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:36,560
For a loooong time.
301
00:15:36,726 --> 00:15:38,645
Hyde, what
are you saying?
302
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:42,274
I think he's saying...
Mooooo.
303
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,067
Okay, maybe you
did not hear me.
304
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,863
Fez, the man
you all revere,
305
00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:53,160
has still not had sex.
306
00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:54,828
Yeah. Heard you
the first time.
307
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:58,290
Forman, you've gotta figure
out what you're doing wrong,
308
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,624
man, and fast.
309
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,878
You know what women call guys
who are lame in the sack?
310
00:16:03,044 --> 00:16:06,673
Just friends.
311
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,216
You can't let the pressure
get to you.
312
00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:09,968
Don't think about how
embarrassing it'd be
313
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,637
if you tried
and you couldn't,
314
00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:14,681
how she'd stare at you with
those cruel, black eyes,
315
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,433
as if to say...
[Imitating Jackie]...
316
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,977
You're not really
a man, Michael.
317
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,813
You're not a man at all!
318
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,900
O...kay.
319
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:28,778
Well, this has been
really helpful, guys.
320
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,865
All right,
you called my bluff.
321
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:35,660
I am not really
a virgin, heh heh.
322
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,787
Yes, I am.
323
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:46,588
Ah, ha ha ha ha!
Ah, ha ha ha ha!
324
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,215
Ha...ha ha!
325
00:16:48,381 --> 00:16:50,050
All right...
Fun's fun.
326
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,384
Time to
take it back.
327
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:54,054
No.
328
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,680
No?
329
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:58,350
No. I like it.
I want to keep it.
330
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,561
But you said yourself we gotta
save money for the kids.
331
00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:03,980
Oh, screw the damn kids.
332
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,443
Oh, red, I have worked
double shifts all year.
333
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,862
I deserve this.
I want my hog.
334
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:14,282
You know...
335
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:16,910
Laurie might not
even get married.
336
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,246
Maybe Eric will get
a scholarship to college.
337
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:22,916
Well, hell, he might be too
stupid to even get in college!
338
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,960
Well, red,
we can only hope.
339
00:17:25,126 --> 00:17:26,836
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
340
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:29,381
Okay, so just out of
curiosity-- no reason--
341
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,216
what was your
first time like?
342
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:35,470
Oh. My first time
was with a guy named...
343
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,973
Your father.
344
00:17:38,139 --> 00:17:40,809
My first time was with
this guy named Darren.
345
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:44,062
It was really special.
346
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,482
Oh, no. Wait. It wasn't Darren.
It was...
347
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:49,818
Robert?
348
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,195
I think Robert.
349
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:57,492
Well, um... red and I waited
until after we were married.
350
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:02,706
Like, 5 seconds after
we were married.
351
00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:04,249
We said, to heck with
the receiving line,
352
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:08,837
and hit the nearest closet.
Ha ha ha ha!
353
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:12,924
Oh, I remember running my hands
through his long, blond hair,
354
00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:17,429
and listening to his
beautiful British accent.
355
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,264
You see, because back
then, your father
356
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:23,059
was blond and British.
357
00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:26,021
No, no, no.
Not Robert.
358
00:18:26,187 --> 00:18:30,400
There was this guy...
What was his name?
359
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:35,363
Or was it his brother?
360
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:37,866
It'll come to me.
361
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,744
Good god, that dress must've
had a hundred buttons
362
00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:43,830
down the back, but red
got it off in no time.
363
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,415
You wouldn't know it
to look at him,
364
00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:47,542
but red's got
very nimble fingers.
365
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:51,087
Nim-ble!
366
00:18:51,254 --> 00:18:53,673
I just remember it was
very disappointing,
367
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,717
and I never saw
that guy again.
368
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,719
I mean, your father.
369
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,639
I mean, your father
was the first.
370
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:04,809
Don't tell your father, okay?
371
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:08,688
I want to say Billy...
372
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:11,399
But that's not right.
373
00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:13,902
Anyway, I just remember
that he wasn't very good.
374
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:18,865
...and it was
just wonderful.
375
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,993
Eventually.
376
00:19:24,537 --> 00:19:26,122
Okay, Donna...
377
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:27,415
Here's the deal.
378
00:19:27,582 --> 00:19:31,753
Do you have
any rolaids?
379
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,258
I've been thinking
about what we said,
380
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:40,720
about us not doing
it again?
381
00:19:40,887 --> 00:19:44,516
And, uh, I've decided
that's just crazy talk.
382
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,309
But, Eric, we did it, and now
everything's a mess.
383
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:52,732
See, Donna... everything
you and I do is a mess...
384
00:19:52,899 --> 00:19:56,986
At first.
I mean, face it.
385
00:19:57,153 --> 00:19:59,864
We're just a couple
of goons here.
386
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:01,991
The first time
we kissed,
387
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,410
the first time
we went out...
388
00:20:03,576 --> 00:20:04,828
The first time I let
you get to second.
389
00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:07,414
Exactly.
390
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:10,709
Wait. What did
I do wrong then?
391
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:14,379
God, it was like you
were tuning a radio.
392
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,846
Okay.
393
00:20:23,012 --> 00:20:24,764
Okay, but...Do I
still do that?
394
00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:26,182
No.
395
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:27,934
And the kissing-- has that
gotten better?
396
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,894
Yeah, like,
a zillion times better.
397
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:34,023
And, Donna, you know why
those things got better?
398
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:37,694
Because we kinda care about
each other, and we talk...
399
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:41,781
And we make things work.
400
00:20:41,948 --> 00:20:45,285
Yeah, but what if
it doesn't work?
401
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,703
And then not only
does it not work,
402
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,246
but we don't have
what we used to have?
403
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,665
Donna, we will. We love each
other, right?
404
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,917
So...trust me.
405
00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:56,963
It can only
get better.
406
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,803
Okay, so, I guess what you're
saying is we need practice.
407
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:07,348
And lots of it!
Yes!
408
00:21:19,819 --> 00:21:21,529
So?
409
00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:24,532
Yeah. It was
a little better.
410
00:21:24,699 --> 00:21:27,911
A little better?
411
00:21:28,661 --> 00:21:31,372
I am the king!
412
00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:41,090
Hey, mom, any more
fried chicken?
413
00:21:41,257 --> 00:21:44,010
Well, my goodness, you're
a hungry little bee.
414
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:48,640
Yeah, forman.
Whatcha been doing?
415
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,602
Exercising?
416
00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:54,813
In a manner
of speaking.
417
00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:58,107
Hey, I'm too smart
for you two idiots
418
00:21:58,274 --> 00:22:01,110
to try innuendo with me.
419
00:22:01,277 --> 00:22:02,529
Got it?
420
00:22:02,695 --> 00:22:03,780
Yes, sir.
421
00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:05,782
Yes, sir.
422
00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:08,493
You gonna eat
that, big boy?
423
00:22:08,517 --> 00:22:13,517
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