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1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:04,837
[Music]
2
00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:16,724
♪ Who's the birthday boy? ♪
3
00:00:20,102 --> 00:00:24,357
♪ Who's the birthday boy? ♪
4
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,862
The, um, good-looking
guy to your left?
5
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,948
That's right.
6
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:35,910
♪ Happy, happy, happy,
happy birthday, red ♪
7
00:00:37,286 --> 00:00:38,871
Would the special
birthday boy
8
00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:44,293
like a special
birthday present?
9
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:48,798
Oh...it's already
unwrapped.
10
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,135
And, uh,
just my size, too.
11
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:04,480
Oh, my.
12
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,900
Well.
13
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,904
Happy birthday
to me.
14
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,909
♪ Hangin' out ♪
15
00:01:17,076 --> 00:01:20,413
♪ down the street ♪
16
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,083
♪ the same old thing ♪
17
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,545
♪ we did last week ♪
18
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:31,549
♪ not a thing to do ♪
19
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:35,303
♪ but talk to you ♪
20
00:01:35,469 --> 00:01:39,473
♪ we're all all right ♪
♪ we're all all right ♪
21
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,226
Hello, Wisconsin!
22
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,817
[Knocking]
23
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,402
Yeah?
24
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,945
Hey, man.
Hey, what's up?
25
00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:54,780
Well, it's red's
birthday
26
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:57,366
and I gotta get him
a present, so...
27
00:01:57,533 --> 00:02:00,244
Where do your parents
keep their booze?
28
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,539
Pretty much
everywhere.
29
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:06,000
Cool.
30
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,836
Okay
31
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,088
red forman: You know
him, you love him.
32
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:14,216
What do you think, blueberry
Brandy or peach schnapps?
33
00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:16,010
Hmmm...
34
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,303
Definitely
the schnapps.
35
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,972
My thoughts
exactly.
36
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:23,142
This one's for me.
37
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,146
Oh, I see your father
left me another message.
38
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,732
God,
he's an ass.
39
00:02:30,816 --> 00:02:32,693
Hello, mom?
I have company.
40
00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:34,236
Oh, I didn't see
you there, Steven.
41
00:02:34,403 --> 00:02:36,822
Isn't Bob an ass?
42
00:02:38,699 --> 00:02:40,951
Okay, um, my
parents are freaks
43
00:02:41,118 --> 00:02:43,496
and I'm sorry
you had to see that.
44
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:48,292
Oh, yeah?
45
00:02:49,877 --> 00:02:52,129
Donna, I don't want
you reading this.
46
00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:54,173
Dad,
Hyde's here.
47
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,466
Well, you
can read it
48
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,634
'cause you'll
appreciate it.
49
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,220
But not you.
50
00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:01,180
This sucks.
51
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,431
Well, you wanna
talk about it?
52
00:03:02,598 --> 00:03:04,809
No.
53
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,103
You know, they want
to date other people.
54
00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:09,855
Your mom's dating?
Mm-hmm.
55
00:03:10,022 --> 00:03:13,234
So where am I?
Do I have a shot?
56
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,404
Oh, could you
please date my mom?
57
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,280
That would make my life
so much better, Hyde.
58
00:03:18,447 --> 00:03:21,909
Hey, call me dad.
59
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,328
Yeah, but you know
what the worst part is?
60
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:25,955
Watching your parents
split up and knowing
61
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,498
there's not a damn thing
you can do about it.
62
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,833
Exactly.
63
00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:30,251
And you know
what else?
64
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,544
My mom moved out
of their bedroom,
65
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:32,962
into the guest room.
66
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,089
Yeah, it sucked
when my dad split.
67
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,674
But I can
honestly say
68
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,134
that my parents'
divorce
69
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,512
made me the man
I am today.
70
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,097
Oh, man, am I going
to go crazy
71
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,560
and think the government's
out to get me, too?
72
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:51,105
The government is
out to get you.
73
00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:54,066
Okay, now I want your father
to enjoy this birthday,
74
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:58,654
so we're all going to try
our best to make it good.
75
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,031
Except for Laurie, who's
going to stumble in
76
00:04:01,198 --> 00:04:03,909
smelling like
cigarettes and beer.
77
00:04:04,076 --> 00:04:05,828
Hey, at least
I'm here.
78
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,288
Well, you better be
here with a present.
79
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,040
I gave you $20
yesterday.
80
00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:11,751
God, relax.
81
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,294
Oh, you can it,
Laurie.
82
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,920
Can it, Laurie.
Can it, Eric.
83
00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,338
Yeah, can it,
Eric.
84
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:17,715
I thought I told you
to can it. Can it.
85
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,175
Why don't you
both can it?
86
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,843
Can it! Can it!
Can it!
87
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,095
Oh, look, it's
the birthday boy.
88
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:24,638
Daddy!
89
00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:26,015
Come on in,
birthday boy.
90
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:29,435
Open your presents.
91
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,314
I wonder what's
in the big one?
92
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:37,109
Is it a...
Corvette?
93
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:48,454
No, it's,
uh, 2x4s.
94
00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:54,043
For the roof.
95
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,086
Oh, yeah.
96
00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:58,923
Thanks for
reminding me.
97
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:03,052
Here you go, red. This will
help you forget.
98
00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:05,888
Happy birthday,
man.
99
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,223
Daddy!
100
00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:08,724
This is
for you.
101
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,561
Well.
Let's see here.
102
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,441
Well! $7.
103
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,194
Isn't that
something.
104
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,821
Thanks, sweetie.
105
00:05:21,987 --> 00:05:24,448
[Laughing
humorlessly]
106
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,952
If I don't have $13 on
my dresser by tonight,
107
00:05:28,118 --> 00:05:29,620
then so help me god--
108
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,080
the card cost
50 cents.
109
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,791
Fine, $12.50
and I want a receipt.
110
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,668
Whatever.
111
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,003
Okay, boys, thank you
for the--the wood
112
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:41,924
and--and
the booze.
113
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,926
Okay, now--now,
114
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,387
one more present.
115
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,265
Ooh.
116
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,976
Underwear!
117
00:05:52,142 --> 00:05:54,311
Oh, damn it.
118
00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:57,940
Well, happy birthday.
119
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,944
So, is the "happy birthday"
fun over yet?
120
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,197
No.
121
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,909
Bob and midge want to take
us out to dinner tonight.
122
00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:11,620
Bob and midge!
123
00:06:12,162 --> 00:06:14,164
Kitty,
it's my birthday.
124
00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:15,666
I know,
but they like you,
125
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,376
and they want you to have
fun on your birthday,
126
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,836
like I do.
127
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:22,798
If they really liked me,
they'd leave me alone.
128
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,930
Man, last night we could
hear the pinciottis fighting
129
00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:31,473
all the way
across the driveway.
130
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,850
It was horrible.
131
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,476
It was all,
132
00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:37,605
[deep voice] You're
the devil, midge!
133
00:06:37,771 --> 00:06:41,025
[Breathy voice]
Oh, Bob, shut up.
134
00:06:43,777 --> 00:06:47,156
[Breathy voice]
Oh, Bob, shut up!
135
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,575
That's classic.
136
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:50,910
Man, if you get
any dumber
137
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:54,663
you're gonna
need a helmet.
138
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,124
What a bummer
for Donna, huh?
139
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,043
I can't believe they're
sleeping in separate bedrooms.
140
00:06:59,209 --> 00:07:01,337
Yeah, I know.
141
00:07:01,503 --> 00:07:02,588
Wait,
I don't know.
142
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:03,923
What are you
talking about?
143
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,299
Well, Hyde knows
something about Donna
144
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,176
that Eric
does not know.
145
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,636
This is an interesting
development.
146
00:07:08,802 --> 00:07:11,972
Let's watch.
147
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:14,266
Midge is sleeping in
the guest bedroom, man.
148
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:15,726
How did you
know that?
149
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,311
Did--did Donna
tell you that?
150
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:18,854
Look, forman,
it's not a big deal.
151
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,314
I guess she's just
telling me stuff
152
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,359
that she's not
telling you.
153
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,738
See, this is why communication
is so important.
154
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,198
Now,
Michael and i--
155
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,492
uh, excuse me, we were talking
about Donna and me and how--
156
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,078
oh, hush.
No one cares.
157
00:07:34,244 --> 00:07:36,830
Now, Michael never
keeps secrets from me.
158
00:07:36,997 --> 00:07:38,666
Do you, sweetie?
159
00:07:38,832 --> 00:07:40,417
Huh?
160
00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:42,711
Oh, no, no.
Never.
161
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:44,296
Michael,
you hesitated.
162
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:45,798
Why did you
hesitate?
163
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,341
No, I didn't
hesitate.
164
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,550
Did I, Hyde.
165
00:07:48,717 --> 00:07:50,928
Yep.
166
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,262
Fez?
167
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:53,764
Oh, yes. If you
really loved her,
168
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,558
you would not
have hesitated.
169
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:57,768
Ah!
170
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:58,936
Conversation,
Michael.
171
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,312
The Van, now.
No!
172
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,147
No, I didn't hesitate!
173
00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:04,692
You guys are dead!
174
00:08:06,902 --> 00:08:09,029
Well, so what do you
think, birthday boy?
175
00:08:09,196 --> 00:08:11,573
'Cause I think
it's gonna be fun.
176
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:15,869
Well, you know, good food,
old friends.
177
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:17,997
This might not be
too bad, kitty.
178
00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:21,125
Bob: Hey, hey, the gang's
all here!
179
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,877
This is
my date Carol.
180
00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:27,006
And this is
my date Ted.
181
00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:31,427
You brought dates?
182
00:08:31,593 --> 00:08:33,971
We sure did.
183
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:37,266
[Laughing]
184
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,477
Happy birthday!
185
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,944
Yeah, Carol here
is just terrific.
186
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,946
She loves horses.
187
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,616
I love horses!
188
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:58,037
And Ted's a
marriage counselor.
189
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:04,043
Well, you have just done a
lovely job with these two.
190
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,921
Hey, thanks.
Hoo-hah.
191
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,632
Right.
192
00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:13,135
So you two are going
to save your marriage
193
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,305
by dating strangers.
194
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:17,598
Great.
195
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,099
When you say it
like that, red,
196
00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:20,559
it sounds stupid.
197
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:21,935
Okay, midge.
198
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:24,730
Say it so it doesn't
sound stupid.
199
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,065
Okay, here.
200
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,816
Now maybe this
cheese toast
201
00:09:27,983 --> 00:09:30,694
will make your
birthday happy.
202
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,573
Well, kitty, I think
I've lost my appetite.
203
00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:39,912
God, that is a
great-lookin' t-bone.
204
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:41,997
Is there butter
on this?
205
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,583
Hoo-hah.
206
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,960
Right.
207
00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:49,421
Now, I'm gonna
eat this steak,
208
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:52,424
but first I'm gonna
make a birthday wish.
209
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,009
Here it is.
210
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,677
I wish...
211
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:59,765
Everyone
would shut up.
212
00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:13,278
Something wrong?
213
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,280
No.
214
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:17,866
So, is there anything
on your mind?
215
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:19,409
Something you might
want to, you know,
216
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:21,995
talk to your b--
no.
217
00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:23,539
[Thinking] Don't take
no for an answer.
218
00:10:23,705 --> 00:10:24,832
She talked to Hyde,
219
00:10:24,998 --> 00:10:26,041
get her to talk
to you.
220
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,334
Get her--
on, my god,
221
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,669
that can't be her
tongue, can it?
222
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:29,878
How is she
doing that?
223
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:32,005
So...soft,
so...
224
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:34,925
Wait!
Focus! Talk!
225
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:38,595
So, uh, nothing
on your mind.
226
00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:41,640
Nothing...
227
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,351
That's a pretty
little shirt.
228
00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:47,980
Holy god, she's
sucking my tongue.
229
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,274
She is sucking
my tongue.
230
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,276
Oh my god, even
her spit is sweet.
231
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,444
It's like liquid
jolly ranchers.
232
00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:55,946
There's something
wrong with me.
233
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,322
No there's not,
I'm 17.
234
00:10:57,489 --> 00:10:58,991
Wait!
235
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,617
So, nothing...
236
00:11:00,784 --> 00:11:03,579
Uh, to confide
in me?
237
00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:07,708
Eric.
Your boyfriend.
238
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,169
Well, okay,
here's something.
239
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:13,338
I love making out
with you.
240
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,967
There.
So we talked.
241
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,678
That was nice.
242
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:23,724
Horses are beautiful.
243
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,142
And they're
very smart.
244
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:28,979
They can count,
you know.
245
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,439
Oh, honey, honey,
246
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:34,359
you--you just-- you just
gotta shut up.
247
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:36,612
Speaking of, has
anyone read equus?
248
00:11:36,778 --> 00:11:37,988
I gave a copy
to midge,
249
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,448
but--no offense,
sweetie--
250
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,576
it may be a little
too deep for her.
251
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,077
Wait a minute.
252
00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:45,704
What do you mean,
no offense?
253
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,998
Well, I mean,
don't be offended.
254
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,959
Oh.
255
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,337
Listen, you insult
my wife one more time,
256
00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:56,465
you're gonna be wearing
your steak as a hat.
257
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,342
Hey, i--I'm sorry.
258
00:11:58,508 --> 00:12:01,220
Oh, Bob, that
was so sweet.
259
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:03,138
Like in high school, when you
used to hit people
260
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,474
just for
looking at me.
261
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,808
Remember?
262
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:08,018
Of course
I remember.
263
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,186
I still have the scar
264
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,355
from Joe abbruzzi's
dental plate.
265
00:12:11,521 --> 00:12:14,608
You big bear.
266
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,402
Rroowwrr.
267
00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:25,035
I, uh, left my wallet
in the car, midge.
268
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,208
I left my... Sex
with Bob in the car.
269
00:12:34,294 --> 00:12:36,713
Check, please!
270
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,633
Ah.
271
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,969
There you go,
that's for you.
272
00:12:42,719 --> 00:12:45,347
Come on, kitty.
273
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,183
Donna wouldn't
even talk to me.
274
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,270
She just kept sticking her
tongue down my throat.
275
00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:54,147
Oh, boo-hoo, forman.
276
00:12:54,314 --> 00:12:55,941
You get to fool around
with a totally hot chick
277
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,819
and you never have to
talk about her feelings?
278
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:02,739
You poor, French-kissing
bastard.
279
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:03,782
Yeah, Hyde's right.
280
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,784
One time I asked
Jackie what was wrong,
281
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:10,330
and she didn't shut up for,
like, 3 straight days.
282
00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:12,082
You know, kelso,
283
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,417
sometimes you do not
know what you have
284
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,002
until it is gone.
285
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,253
And then
someone else has it
286
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,629
and it is not you.
287
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:21,425
And then that someone
else is really happy.
288
00:13:21,591 --> 00:13:22,884
What are you
talking about?
289
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:24,261
You don't know what
he's talking about?
290
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,596
That's it.
Get the helmet.
291
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:29,266
Kelso,
put this on.
292
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,643
Shut up. I'm not putting
the helmet on.
293
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,395
Now what are you
talking about?
294
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,855
I'll tell you what
I am talking about
295
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:38,483
if you put
the helmet on.
296
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:41,903
Fine.
297
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,576
If you don't
take care of Jackie,
298
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,786
you are going
to lose her.
299
00:13:49,953 --> 00:13:53,081
That's just
stupid.
300
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:54,458
Look, Hyde,
all I know
301
00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:56,126
is that you're talking
to my girlfriend,
302
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,961
and I don't like it.
303
00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,755
Hey, man, I was
friends with Donna
304
00:13:59,921 --> 00:14:01,590
before you ever became
her little boyfriend.
305
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,508
Hyde, you're
pissing me off.
306
00:14:03,675 --> 00:14:05,469
Why don't you think,
forman?
307
00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:06,845
You get to make out
308
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,430
with one of the hottest
chicks in Wisconsin,
309
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,890
while I'm being
all sympathetic
310
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,433
and relating my
crappy life to her,
311
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,435
and i'm
pissing you off?
312
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,978
You're supposed
to be the friend
313
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:18,440
and I'm supposed to
be the make out guy.
314
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,858
Now that
I think about it,
315
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,611
you're
pissing me off!
316
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:29,993
What the hell kind of a
world are we living in?
317
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,661
Hey, let's date
other people!
318
00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:33,288
Hey, let's date
other people
319
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,166
but ditch 'em
and do it in a car!"
320
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,793
That's enlightened?
321
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:40,212
In my day, we called
them degenerates,
322
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,589
and we stoned them.
323
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:46,510
With big rocks.
324
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:48,345
Oh, you did not.
325
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,765
Well, we
should have.
326
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,725
Well, you know...
327
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:57,896
Your birthday's not over
for another 2 hours.
328
00:14:58,688 --> 00:15:01,358
Oh, kitty.
329
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,861
We have no ceiling
on our bedroom.
330
00:15:05,028 --> 00:15:07,823
What if a plane
flew over?
331
00:15:09,449 --> 00:15:12,160
Okay. Well, the
kids are out.
332
00:15:12,327 --> 00:15:16,415
There's a big comfy couch
in the living room.
333
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:24,589
You know what
I love about you?
334
00:15:25,173 --> 00:15:26,591
What?
335
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:29,344
Lots of stuff.
336
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,180
Come on.
337
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:35,350
I'll race you.
338
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:39,646
Hey, red,
Mrs. Forman.
339
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,022
How was
your night?
340
00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:43,108
What the hell are you
doing in my living room?
341
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,943
Watching
Star Trek.
342
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,112
In color.
343
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,198
See, that guy is one side
black and one side white.
344
00:15:50,365 --> 00:15:54,578
And the other guy is one side
white and one side black.
345
00:15:54,744 --> 00:15:57,706
In color!
346
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:02,419
This house is always
littered with kids.
347
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,464
It's like
we're mormons.
348
00:16:06,381 --> 00:16:09,468
Okay, come on,
follow me, sailor.
349
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,720
Red needs to
control his anger.
350
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,348
I heard that!
351
00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:20,020
Oh, I know!
352
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,396
Let's go to
the basement.
353
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,231
Oh, kitty.
354
00:16:23,398 --> 00:16:26,610
I just want this
day to be over.
355
00:16:26,776 --> 00:16:28,904
No.
356
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,448
This day
is not over.
357
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,950
I wanted you to have
a nice birthday.
358
00:16:34,117 --> 00:16:36,161
You know, sometimes birthdays
are not just about you.
359
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,079
They are about
the people around you
360
00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:40,457
who want you to have
a nice birthday.
361
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,667
So, it's about me.
362
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,252
Now get downstairs
363
00:16:44,419 --> 00:16:47,756
and get those
pants off, mister!
364
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:54,888
Donna.
365
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,264
I'm glad
you're here.
366
00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:57,641
I--I've been thinking
about this a lot,
367
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,643
and, uh...
368
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:05,106
I'm not mad anymore.
369
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:06,858
Okay. Mad about what?
370
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,444
Oh, well, uh, Hyde told
me that you two talked
371
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:10,904
about your home
situation--
372
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,364
you guys
talked about me?
373
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,949
Yeah...
374
00:17:14,115 --> 00:17:16,451
Well, see, but kelso
was wearing a helmet,
375
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,079
so he only heard,
like, half of it.
376
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,706
And I'm not really sure about
Fez's grasp of English.
377
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:24,209
I mean, he nods
a lot, but...
378
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,337
I can't believe you
guys talked about me.
379
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,674
Well, to be honest,
380
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,009
it was a lot of Hyde
with the, uh,
381
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:35,512
Donna and the parents
and the separate bedrooms.
382
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:38,431
And I'm all like, whoa,
hold up there, Hyde.
383
00:17:38,598 --> 00:17:40,308
I don't think she'd like
you talking about--
384
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:41,768
god!
385
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,104
No, i--
just hear me out.
386
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:47,857
I don't know why
you talked to Hyde,
387
00:17:48,024 --> 00:17:50,777
but...
388
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:56,157
I forgive you.
389
00:17:56,324 --> 00:17:58,285
You forgive me?
390
00:17:58,451 --> 00:17:59,703
No, what I'm saying--
391
00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:01,037
you don't have
to do that anymore.
392
00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:04,416
Because
I'm here for you.
393
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,167
Okay, thanks
loads, Eric,
394
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,712
but you can't
help me with this.
395
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:11,298
Your family is...
A family.
396
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:13,258
Donna, to be fair, you didn't
even give me a chance.
397
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,635
You never came to me
with this.
398
00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:16,970
All right, fine.
You know what?
399
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,388
You want to be part
of this whole thing?
400
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:19,639
You do? Fine.
401
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:22,976
My parents, they're on a
freakin' date right now.
402
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,646
Well, you know,
that's nice.
403
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:28,565
With other people.
404
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,025
You know,
the more the merrier.
405
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:32,027
It takes some
of the pressure off.
406
00:18:32,193 --> 00:18:34,112
They're each dating
the other people.
407
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,864
But they're
married.
408
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,908
Oh, god!
409
00:18:39,075 --> 00:18:41,036
See?
I mean...
410
00:18:41,202 --> 00:18:42,787
I don't know.
411
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,497
Hey, Donna, Eric,
glad you're here.
412
00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:46,249
Great news.
413
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,209
Your father
and I had sex.
414
00:18:48,376 --> 00:18:51,630
Oh, my god.
415
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,423
In the car.
416
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,966
Oh, my god!
417
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,593
Well, that's...
Super!
418
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,553
Hey, isn't that--
is that super, Donna?
419
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,180
So,
420
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,681
are you guys, like,
back together?
421
00:19:01,848 --> 00:19:03,016
Oh, no.
422
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,645
Yeah, why ruin
a good thing?
423
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:15,570
Okay, so...
424
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:20,492
What's your take
on that?
425
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:24,996
I got nothing.
426
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:28,792
What am I
gonna do?
427
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:32,879
I don't know.
428
00:19:34,255 --> 00:19:39,094
So, hey, who's your
stupid boyfriend?
429
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,264
Uhh,
you are.
430
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,768
Hey, at least I'm trying
to get smarter, right?
431
00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:51,981
Thank you.
432
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:57,404
Say it.
433
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,656
I do not keep
secrets from you.
434
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,116
Again.
435
00:20:01,282 --> 00:20:03,243
I do not keep
secrets from you.
436
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:04,536
Again.
437
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,787
I do not keep--
438
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,665
allyy!
Shut up!
439
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,583
I am going
insane.
440
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,919
Kelso, if you want
to possess a woman,
441
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,089
this is what
you need to do.
442
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:22,595
I, as a mortal, am not
worthy of your love.
443
00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:25,849
You are a goddess
and I worship you.
444
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:28,685
And I dedicate every
moment of my waking life
445
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:31,646
to your joy.
446
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:37,986
Okay, what he said.
447
00:20:38,486 --> 00:20:41,406
Oh, Michael.
448
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,466
I don't know any mormons
that do that.
449
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:03,553
Not without a permit,
anyway.
450
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:09,434
You know, kitty,
451
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,060
this ended up being a
pretty good birthday
452
00:21:11,227 --> 00:21:13,646
after all.
Oh, yea!
453
00:21:13,813 --> 00:21:17,108
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
454
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:18,735
[Crackling]
455
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,487
What is this?
456
00:21:20,653 --> 00:21:23,782
Ahh, corn chips.
457
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:26,576
Birthday boy.
458
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:31,206
Captioning made possible by carsey-Warner
productions and fox broadcasting company
459
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,297
Something's not
right here, man.
460
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,673
I'm getting a
really weird vibe,
461
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,760
like before
a tornado.
462
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:45,720
Or Dracula.
463
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:50,350
Something bad
happened here.
464
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,477
Something
horrible.
465
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:56,105
Michael--Michael,
I'm frightened.
466
00:21:56,272 --> 00:21:57,690
Well, whatever
it was
467
00:21:57,857 --> 00:22:03,071
made the couch
nice and warm.
468
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:06,074
Someone's been
eating my chips.
469
00:22:06,098 --> 00:22:11,098
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