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1
00:00:04,712 --> 00:00:05,630
Hey, check it out.
2
00:00:05,796 --> 00:00:07,048
I got an "f" on
my report card.
3
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,383
An "f"?
What'd you fail?
4
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:12,220
English.
5
00:00:12,386 --> 00:00:16,641
Isn't that
what we speak?
6
00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:20,811
Hey, I got
a "b" in Spanish.
7
00:00:20,978 --> 00:00:24,982
When did I start
taking Spanish?
8
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:26,275
Whoa.
9
00:00:26,442 --> 00:00:28,027
Donna, that's a cigarette.
10
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,656
Even worse,
it's a menthol.
11
00:00:31,822 --> 00:00:34,325
You're gonna get
suspended, little lady.
12
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,410
When did you
start smoking?
13
00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:39,121
What? You just
saw me light it.
14
00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:40,623
That's ha ha ha.
15
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:41,874
Come on, Donna.
16
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,918
You know smoking
causes cancer.
17
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,419
I know, but it makes
me look cool,
18
00:00:45,586 --> 00:00:47,213
so it's an even trade.
19
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,133
Hold this?
20
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:52,969
Oh, geez, forman,
21
00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,387
hold it like
a man, would ya?
22
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,806
Shut up!
23
00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:01,852
Wow, Donna, first
you fail English,
24
00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:03,229
now you're smoking?
25
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,147
Can I ask you what--
what are you doing?
26
00:01:05,314 --> 00:01:07,858
Smoking, failing.
27
00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:11,153
Hey, forman.
28
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,613
Smoking on
school property?
29
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:14,323
No, that's not his.
That's mine.
30
00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,117
No, it's, uh...
31
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:20,580
It's mine. Yeah.
32
00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:29,589
Mmm. Menthol.
33
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,924
Eric, quit it.
34
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,218
Yeah, okay.
Let's go, forman.
35
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,517
Dios mio.
36
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:45,271
No es bueno.
37
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,232
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and fox broadcasting company
38
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:51,861
♪ hangin' out ♪
39
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:55,740
♪ down the street ♪
40
00:01:55,906 --> 00:01:59,201
♪ the same old thing ♪
41
00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:02,663
♪ we did last week ♪
42
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:06,375
♪ not a thing to do ♪
43
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:10,296
♪ but talk to you ♪
44
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:14,550
♪ we're all all right ♪
♪ we're all all right ♪
45
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:17,345
Hello, Wisconsin!
46
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,978
Eric forman's
first suspension.
47
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,981
I'm so proud.
48
00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:30,399
No way. Back up.
49
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:31,692
Why'd he
get suspended?
50
00:02:31,859 --> 00:02:33,653
Because he's stupid.
51
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:38,574
They can do that?
52
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,868
No. He told them
it was his cigarette,
53
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,244
and that's stupid.
54
00:02:42,411 --> 00:02:43,829
Please, Donna, stop.
55
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:46,165
Don't fall all over
yourself thanking me.
56
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,541
I didn't need your help.
57
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:48,876
Yeah, forman.
58
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,337
I think she wants
to get in trouble.
59
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,589
It's Donna's
little cry for help.
60
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:56,801
Help me! Help me!
61
00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:58,260
We hear you, Donna,
62
00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:00,054
and we love you.
63
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,847
Get bent.
You guys are jerks.
64
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,265
Wait.
Why am I a jerk?
65
00:03:03,432 --> 00:03:06,769
I don't even know
what's going on.
66
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:08,604
This is great.
67
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:09,939
Why'd I even
take the fall?
68
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,315
I mean, Donna
doesn't care.
69
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,651
And, you know,
red's gonna kill me.
70
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,404
Relax, forman,
he's not gonna--
71
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,572
oh, wait. Did you
say kill you?
72
00:03:18,739 --> 00:03:20,408
[Laughs]
73
00:03:20,574 --> 00:03:23,536
Yeah, you're right.
74
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,662
Hyde,
this isn't funny.
75
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:25,913
On red's list
of screw-ups,
76
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,415
getting suspended from school
is right up there with...
77
00:03:27,581 --> 00:03:30,543
Backing over my mom.
78
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,254
Hey, man. Having a chick
is about sacrifice.
79
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,964
Like Jackie. She wants
to decorate my Van
80
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,757
with some of her
girly stuff, right?
81
00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:38,968
So I tell her she can
have one stuffed animal.
82
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,429
In the glove box.
83
00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:44,682
See? Sacrifice.
84
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,434
Kelso, remember
how you used to put
85
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,768
your whole fist
in your mouth?
86
00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,103
Yeah.
87
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,272
Do it now.
88
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:55,151
Damn, why is everybody
so crabby today?
89
00:03:56,944 --> 00:03:58,612
What's in the suitcase?
90
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:02,700
Stuffed animals for
the Van, remember?
91
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,910
Look, Michael, I know
we agreed on just one,
92
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,245
but then I got
to thinking,
93
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,373
and well,
I want them all.
94
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,833
But--
95
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,460
but what,
Michael?
96
00:04:12,626 --> 00:04:15,212
But...
97
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:18,716
Okay.
98
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,677
Oh, ease up
on her, kelso.
99
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,014
You know,
sacrifice is hard.
100
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:28,309
So, my host parents
101
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,727
set me up
on a blind date,
102
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,772
and she has a friend
for you, Hyde.
103
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:37,151
Finally.
Somebody to love.
104
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,236
And it gets better.
105
00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:41,363
They're not even blind.
106
00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:44,408
[Laughs]
107
00:04:46,702 --> 00:04:50,039
Get it? Blind.
108
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,459
Screw you.
That's funny.
109
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,924
Oh, hi, honey.
110
00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:01,675
Your mom and I are
going out tonight.
111
00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:04,428
It's happy hour
at swingles.
112
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:05,930
What's swingles?
113
00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:07,681
It's a singles' bar.
114
00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:09,433
No, it's
a swingers' bar.
115
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,520
Yeah, it's both.
116
00:05:12,686 --> 00:05:14,814
And you're neither.
117
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,190
Don't get
involved, Donna.
118
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,025
This is
grown-up stuff.
119
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,401
Well, before you go,
120
00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:21,028
there's my report card.
121
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,404
[Gasps]
122
00:05:22,571 --> 00:05:24,073
An "f"?
123
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,616
Donna, we're
very disappointed,
124
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,409
and we're gonna have a
long talk about this.
125
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:28,869
Yes, we are.
126
00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:31,831
Right after
happy hour.
127
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:35,626
Provided we don't
meet anyone.
128
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,294
All right.
129
00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:38,712
I've learned my lesson,
130
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:39,964
and I'll be sure
to try harder.
131
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,799
There's our girl.
132
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,927
Ooh, wish us luck.
133
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,271
Welcome home,
smoker.
134
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,648
Oh, no.
135
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:58,983
The school just called.
136
00:05:59,149 --> 00:06:01,902
You're lucky I answered
the phone and not dad.
137
00:06:02,069 --> 00:06:03,487
You didn't tell?
138
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,907
Eric, of course
I didn't tell.
139
00:06:07,616 --> 00:06:09,201
Well...
140
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:12,621
If it isn't
Mr. Smoker.
141
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:17,793
Oh, wait. Yes, I did.
142
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,296
I'm nervous.
143
00:06:20,462 --> 00:06:21,964
Don't be nervous.
You'll get sweaty.
144
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,009
Oh, no. Too late.
145
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:26,260
I can't help it.
146
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,345
This is my first
official American date.
147
00:06:28,512 --> 00:06:29,680
That's why
I'm here, Fez.
148
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,599
To help
you out, man.
149
00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:32,725
Unless
they're uggos,
150
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,686
and then I'm gone.
151
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,354
There they are,
152
00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:39,398
and they're
not even uggos.
153
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,775
No, they're hot.
154
00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:44,653
And the blonde's
blonde and hot.
155
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,488
Yes, and since I set
us up on this date,
156
00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:48,198
she's mine, right?
157
00:06:48,365 --> 00:06:50,117
Well, I can see why
you'd think that,
158
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,368
but actually,
159
00:06:51,535 --> 00:06:53,037
since I came along
to help you out,
160
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:54,705
American custom dictates
161
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,874
that I get the blonde.
162
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,125
Once again,
163
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,420
the local custom
bones the foreign guy.
164
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,796
America, man.
165
00:07:02,963 --> 00:07:05,549
Love it or leave it.
166
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,973
And this--this is
chamomile the camel.
167
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,767
He can sit
in the backseat,
168
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,644
but llama cass here,
169
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:20,189
she has to sit up
in the front with us.
170
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,816
Well, Jackie, uh,
171
00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:24,068
it's just...
172
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,903
I thought all you wanted
173
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,279
was to put in
one little animal.
174
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:28,447
Well, I know, Michael,
175
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,657
but this way
176
00:07:29,823 --> 00:07:31,909
there'll be even more
things to remind you of me.
177
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,662
Don't you like
thinking about me?
178
00:07:34,828 --> 00:07:36,497
No, of course I do.
179
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,123
Uh, the thing is...
180
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,375
How can I say this
181
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,543
without hurting
your feelings?
182
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,671
Oh. Okay.
183
00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:47,424
I don't want your stupid
things in my cool Van.
184
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,052
Oh!
185
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,220
What?
186
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,262
No! I didn't say
you were stupid.
187
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:55,224
Just everything
you like!
188
00:07:57,685 --> 00:08:00,729
Congratulations, Eric.
You got suspended.
189
00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:04,525
Are you getting dumber?
190
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,111
Gee, I don't think so.
191
00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:11,156
Look, dad,
i--i don't smoke.
192
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:13,951
Daddy, if Eric's
a smoker,
193
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,369
and he lies
about smoking,
194
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:19,415
doesn't that make
him a smoking liar?
195
00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:21,667
Okay, you know what?
That's enough.
196
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,127
Eric, have some
more pot roast.
197
00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:25,129
Here, here's some
mashed potatoes,
198
00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:27,423
and here's a photo
of a cancerous lung.
199
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:30,884
Whoa!
200
00:08:31,051 --> 00:08:32,386
Mom, gross!
201
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:33,929
Look, I don't smoke!
202
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,556
Okay, well,
either way,
203
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:36,974
that is what's gonna
happen to your lungs
204
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,976
if you keep on smoking.
205
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,061
Well, the way he's
screwing up his life,
206
00:08:41,228 --> 00:08:45,649
death will be
a sweet release.
207
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:54,658
So I got that
to look forward to.
208
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,036
You got suspended, pal.
209
00:08:57,202 --> 00:08:58,287
How do you think
210
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,873
your college interviews
are gonna go?
211
00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:05,419
Well, looks like we have
a model student here.
212
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,129
Excellent grades,
213
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,299
secretary-treasurer
of the a.V. Club.
214
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,469
Uh-oh, what's this?
215
00:09:13,635 --> 00:09:15,220
You were suspended?
216
00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:18,474
Yes, sir, for smoking.
217
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,267
[Coughs]
218
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,518
Well, we can't have
219
00:09:21,685 --> 00:09:22,811
a loser like you
at our school.
220
00:09:22,978 --> 00:09:24,188
I'm sorry to say,
221
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:28,692
you're not Princeton
material, dumb-ass.
222
00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:30,652
Oh, if only--
223
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:31,987
[coughs]
224
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,322
I'd listened--
225
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,490
[coughs]
226
00:09:34,656 --> 00:09:35,866
To my mother.
227
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,328
[Coughs]
228
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,750
Sorry.
229
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,046
What a lesson
I have learned.
230
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,380
Can I go?
231
00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:51,548
Sure.
232
00:09:51,715 --> 00:09:54,968
Right after you smoke this
entire pack of cigarettes.
233
00:09:57,262 --> 00:09:58,972
Yay, daddy!
234
00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:02,059
Ooh, tear off
the filters.
235
00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:05,145
Dad, you can't
be serious.
236
00:10:05,312 --> 00:10:08,398
Have I ever
not been serious?
237
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,400
Dad, i'm--I'm telling
you the truth.
238
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,694
Okay, you have to
take my word for it.
239
00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:15,697
I don't smoke.
240
00:10:17,157 --> 00:10:19,159
Your word, huh?
241
00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:22,663
It's all a man has.
242
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,749
Well,
now that's nice.
243
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,084
What a load of crap.
244
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,795
Light up!
245
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,012
Hey.
246
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:40,347
I heard Eric
got suspended.
247
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:44,810
Yeah, and we're
all real proud.
248
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,270
I'll tell you what, red.
249
00:10:46,436 --> 00:10:47,729
I think Donna's
been having trouble
250
00:10:47,896 --> 00:10:51,150
because Eric's
a bad influence.
251
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,360
Could be.
252
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,611
But did you ever think
253
00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:56,238
the way you and midge
act like idiots,
254
00:10:56,405 --> 00:11:01,493
that might be
screwing her up?
255
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:05,247
Nope. I'm pretty
sure it's Eric.
256
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,958
Well, that's
kind of stupid, Bob.
257
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,751
Well, I guess
the truth hurts.
258
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:13,672
So does a swift
kick in the ass.
259
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,465
All right. I'm going.
260
00:11:15,632 --> 00:11:16,717
But a swift
kick in the ass
261
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,385
is not the solution
to everything, forman.
262
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:23,557
I gotta disagree, Bob.
263
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,644
Gee, dad. Thanks--
264
00:11:27,811 --> 00:11:29,521
keep sweeping, smoker.
265
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,357
Will do.
266
00:11:33,775 --> 00:11:35,277
Jackie, get in the Van!
267
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:36,737
No!
268
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:37,988
Jackie, get in the Van!
269
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,281
No!
270
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,365
Get in the Van.
No!
271
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:41,408
Jackie...
No!
272
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:44,328
Jackie,
get in the Van!
273
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:58,300
Hey.
Hi.
274
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,052
So, whaddaya wanna do?
275
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,511
You wanna watch some t.V.
276
00:12:01,678 --> 00:12:03,347
Or eat some ice cream
277
00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:04,890
or, I don't know,
278
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:08,352
apologize to me?
279
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:09,686
I'm sorry.
280
00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:11,855
Well, you should be.
281
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,232
Okay. I'm sorry.
282
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:17,069
I was expecting
more of a fight.
283
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,904
Did you get in a lot of
trouble for the cigarette?
284
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,614
Uh, surprisingly, yes.
285
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,116
Turns out,
red has a temper, so--
286
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,534
really?
287
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,329
Yeah. Who knew?
288
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,705
And...
289
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:30,290
Uh, your dad
doesn't like me anymore.
290
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:33,335
That's okay, 'cause I do.
291
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,009
What's he doing here?
292
00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:45,764
Who?
293
00:12:46,723 --> 00:12:48,225
Maybe--maybe you
should get off me
294
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,103
so I could, like, run away.
295
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,063
You better
get out of here.
296
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,398
Okay, fine. I'll
get out of here.
297
00:12:54,564 --> 00:12:55,399
Actually, I think
he was talking to me.
298
00:12:55,565 --> 00:12:56,692
Come on.
299
00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:58,443
Okay. Uh, boy,
this is awkward
300
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:02,406
with the Donna and
the yelling and the--
301
00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,035
so then
my pastor said
302
00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:08,662
it's okay to get a "b"
every once in a while.
303
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,997
Nobody's
perfect,
304
00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:11,498
except...
305
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,084
You know who.
306
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,005
You know, it's
just so refreshing
307
00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:20,632
to meet someone
whose beliefs
308
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,926
are the complete
opposite of mine.
309
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,553
I know. Well,
I'm episcopalian,
310
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,179
and my best friend's
presbyterian,
311
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,223
but we're still
best friends.
312
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:32,602
It's hard work,
but it's worth it.
313
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:35,230
I bet you make
really good punch, huh?
314
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,523
Oh, my gosh.
315
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,025
The best.
316
00:13:38,191 --> 00:13:39,318
Yeah, I mean,
these teachers
317
00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:41,236
think they deserve our
respect, but they don't.
318
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,197
I mean, who are they to teach
us about history and math?
319
00:13:44,364 --> 00:13:49,953
Hmm. I, too, am filled with
rebellious sexual tension.
320
00:13:50,954 --> 00:13:52,122
Yeah.
321
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,373
I mean, it's like
Malcolm X said,
322
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,833
by any means
necessary. Right?
323
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,251
You like Malcolm X?
324
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,586
Hey, who doesn't
like Malcolm X, huh?
325
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,004
[Laughs]
326
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,339
You've heard of
Malcolm X in Panama?
327
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:02,132
Oh, no. I'm not
from Panama. I'm from--
328
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:06,094
hey, Fez,
come here.
329
00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:07,846
American custom
be damned.
330
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,515
I want you to
have the blonde.
331
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:12,225
Oh, my god.
332
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:15,020
Blondes are
notorious whores.
333
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,772
Thank you, Hyde.
334
00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:19,107
Not a problem.
335
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,945
Hi.
336
00:14:24,112 --> 00:14:26,531
Bye.
337
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,370
Come on, Jackie.
338
00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:32,496
Just get in the Van.
339
00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:33,622
No.
340
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:34,998
Jackie,
just get in the Van.
341
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,124
No.
342
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:37,209
Jackie--
no.
343
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,668
Get in the--
no.
344
00:14:38,835 --> 00:14:40,712
Jackie--
no!
345
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,047
Jackie,
get in the Van!
346
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,340
No.
347
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,508
All right.
348
00:14:44,674 --> 00:14:46,551
I'm just
gonna leave now.
349
00:14:46,718 --> 00:14:47,928
Bye.
350
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,222
Aw, damn it, Jackie,
get in the Van!
351
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,100
Nope.
352
00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:56,436
So then
I heard g-11.
353
00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:59,689
So, naturally I
yelled out "bingo!"
354
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:02,692
Boy, was the pastor
cheesed at me.
355
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:05,445
Great story.
356
00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:07,531
So you are a blonde?
357
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:12,452
Yeah. Natural.
358
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:13,787
Yeah? Wow.
359
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:14,955
I can't believe
360
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,164
you like all the same
bands that I like.
361
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:17,290
Yeah.
I just like music
362
00:15:17,457 --> 00:15:18,542
that's passionate
and rebellious
363
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,128
and really
pisses off my dad.
364
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:22,587
Oh, Patty,
don't say piss.
365
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:25,966
Oh!
366
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,052
Hey, you know what'd
really piss off your dad?
367
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:30,512
You and me
grab a 12 pack
368
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,764
and stay out all night.
369
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:33,974
Oh, I can't.
370
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,183
I have a big
test tomorrow.
371
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:36,435
That's funny.
372
00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:39,146
Let's go.
373
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:41,440
No, really.
I've gotta go study.
374
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:42,941
Study?
375
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,069
You don't study.
You've got a tattoo.
376
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,863
Look, Hyde, rebellion
is cool and all,
377
00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:49,531
but I want to get
into a good college
378
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,741
so I can fight the
system from the inside.
379
00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:53,160
It was nice
meeting you, though.
380
00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:54,453
Mary?
381
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:56,663
Oh, no. Go ahead
without me.
382
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,123
So, Fez, um,
383
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,416
my parents
aren't home.
384
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,709
Wanna come back
to my house?
385
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:04,337
I have a hot tub.
386
00:16:08,091 --> 00:16:10,719
That would be super.
387
00:16:19,769 --> 00:16:21,480
Donna, is it me, or...
388
00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:25,233
Does your dad hating me
make me even more sexy?
389
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:29,112
Sure.
390
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,572
Yeah...
391
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,950
I think he senses
my bad-boyness.
392
00:16:34,117 --> 00:16:35,911
Yeah, Eric, you're a
parent's worst nightmare.
393
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:37,579
Yes.
394
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,957
Yes, I am.
395
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,301
Mom, what
are you doing?
396
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,428
Nothing.
397
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,639
And you--you just--
398
00:16:55,805 --> 00:16:58,183
you do as I say,
not as I do.
399
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,894
Oh, hey, mom, cool.
400
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,063
Give me a drag.
401
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,148
Okay, see? Now Laurie
is doing as I do.
402
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,485
That is wrong.
403
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,530
Red: What's going
on out here?
404
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:15,492
Eric, are you
smoking again?
405
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,661
I think he is, daddy.
406
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:19,287
No, he is not.
407
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:20,747
I don't smoke!
408
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,332
I think this
might be my fault.
409
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:23,500
I think he is--
410
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:27,837
he's just imitating me
so he can look cool.
411
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,382
Mr. and Mrs. Forman,
412
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,884
Eric got caught holding
my cigarette at school.
413
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:36,388
I'm the one
who was smoking.
414
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,432
Oh?
415
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:41,893
Well, Donna,
416
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,144
thank you for
your honesty.
417
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:44,354
What?
418
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:45,772
You--how come
you believe her?
419
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:48,149
I told you
I don't smoke.
420
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,651
Okay. I'm gonna
go home now,
421
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,571
so, uh, good night.
422
00:17:53,863 --> 00:17:56,575
Eric's not
in trouble now?
423
00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,452
Fine.
424
00:18:00,036 --> 00:18:01,454
Well, now.
425
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:04,165
I think you have
something to say to Eric.
426
00:18:04,332 --> 00:18:06,751
Oh, yeah, uh...
427
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,712
Nice job
on the driveway.
428
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:10,005
Red.
429
00:18:10,171 --> 00:18:12,382
Okay. Just...
430
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,762
Okay. I'm gonna
say I'm sorry,
431
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:21,099
but, you know,
you do lie a lot.
432
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,517
What have I lied about?
433
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,102
You've lied
about the beer keg,
434
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,979
the dent in
the vista cruiser.
435
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,355
You lied
when you said
436
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:29,357
you weren't taking
the car out of town.
437
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:30,734
Wait.
You knew about that?
438
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:31,943
I do now.
439
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,529
Oh!
Hah!
440
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:35,697
We're even.
441
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,742
Oh, dad, you've
gotta be kidding me.
442
00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:41,077
Okay.
443
00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:42,370
I'm sorry I made you
444
00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,623
smoke all
those cigarettes.
445
00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:46,708
Okay.
446
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,377
Yeah. That's okay.
447
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:52,130
Actually,
I kind of liked them.
448
00:18:52,797 --> 00:18:54,132
Watch it.
449
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,260
No, no. I bet they'd
go great with beer.
450
00:18:58,261 --> 00:19:01,306
So does a swift
kick in the ass.
451
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,189
Jackie, get in the Van!
452
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,066
No.
453
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:12,776
All right, fine.
I give up!
454
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:14,194
I give up!
455
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:17,238
You can keep your
stuffed animals in the Van.
456
00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:20,158
Do you really mean it?
457
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,576
Yeah.
458
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,786
But just one.
459
00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:23,912
5.
460
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:24,996
2.
4
461
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,164
3.
4
462
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,083
deal, ha!
463
00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,459
5.
464
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,379
All right, 5.
465
00:19:32,545 --> 00:19:33,463
6.
466
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,633
Fine!
467
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:42,806
So, you have me
in your tub.
468
00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:44,849
If you are trying to
send a sexy message,
469
00:19:45,016 --> 00:19:47,894
then message received.
470
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,646
Well, Fez...
471
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,398
I know we made out
in my parent's bedroom,
472
00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:54,067
and I know we frenched
in the pool house,
473
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:57,570
and I know that may seem
romantic to some people...
474
00:19:57,737 --> 00:20:00,782
Tell me something
I don't know.
475
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,952
I have a boyfriend.
476
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:08,623
See? That I did not know.
477
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,083
Fez, I really
like you, but...
478
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,459
He's in college,
479
00:20:11,626 --> 00:20:13,128
and we're
still faithful.
480
00:20:13,294 --> 00:20:15,296
I see.
481
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:17,006
You know...
482
00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:19,050
There are many ways
to remain faithful
483
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,094
yet still have fun.
484
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,220
Really?
485
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,431
Oh, yes.
486
00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:30,520
Ahh...
487
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:33,106
That's much better.
488
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:39,112
Hey.
489
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,281
Hey.
490
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,867
So...
491
00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:45,201
I told Bob and midge
492
00:20:45,368 --> 00:20:47,078
that it was
my cigarette.
493
00:20:47,245 --> 00:20:48,747
And how'd that go?
494
00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:52,208
Really good.
They grounded me.
495
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,294
Cool. Ha ha.
496
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,754
So what are you
doing over here?
497
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,547
Snuck out.
498
00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,757
Being grounded
makes it
499
00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:02,218
so much naughtier.
500
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,013
You know, Donna,
501
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,474
I'm not gonna
tell you what to do,
502
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,892
but...
503
00:21:09,058 --> 00:21:10,393
Failing classes
is not the only way
504
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,728
to get attention
from your parents.
505
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:13,021
I mean...
506
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,272
For instance,
a lot of girls,
507
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,607
when they're having
a bad time at home,
508
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,233
just...
509
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,153
Go slutty.
510
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,115
You know what, Eric?
511
00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:25,700
You're right.
512
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,368
Let's have sex
right now.
513
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:28,703
Really?
No.
514
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,372
Stop doing that!
515
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,841
Michael, get in the Van.
516
00:21:42,008 --> 00:21:43,051
No.
517
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:44,344
Michael,
get in the Van.
518
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:46,054
No.
519
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,013
Get in the Van!
No.
520
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,223
Michael!
No.
521
00:21:48,389 --> 00:21:49,432
Get in the Van.
522
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,559
No!
523
00:21:51,726 --> 00:21:54,312
Fine.
524
00:22:01,569 --> 00:22:02,946
Hey.
525
00:22:03,112 --> 00:22:04,155
No, wait! Jackie!
526
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,407
Jackie, it's my Van!
527
00:22:06,574 --> 00:22:08,535
Jackie!!
528
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:13,559
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33382
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