Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:04,570
- Howdy-ho, all you South Parketeers.
- Howdy-ho!
2
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,840
- I'm Rootin'-Tootin' Trey Parker.
- I'm Pistol-Slinging Matt Stone.
3
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:12,180
- This is Scratch. Say hi, old fella.
- Hi, Scratch!
4
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:17,290
Matt and I are excited because
this episode is our favorite.
5
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,890
It's our Christmas special entitled
"Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo."
6
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:26,230
Kyle, the little Jewish kid,
is visited by a talking candy bar.
7
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,370
The reason this episode
is our favorite is...
8
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:33,530
...because it introduces
the school counselor, Mr. Mackey.
9
00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:37,040
He was based on a counselor
I had in junior high.
10
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,980
I used to run around,
getting in trouble, and he'd say:
11
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:44,010
"Trey, get back to your
schoolwork, m'kay?"
12
00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:46,580
Now I'm making millions off him.
13
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,120
Like all of our episodes,
this one has a moral lesson:
14
00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:54,890
Everyone, regardless of your religion,
should celebrate Christmas...
15
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:57,290
...because it's the best holiday.
16
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:02,320
It's our Indian companion friend
Indian Companion.
17
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,510
- Hello, Indian Companion.
- Say hi, kids.
18
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:07,900
Someone coming.
19
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:11,100
Thank you.
20
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:17,450
Anyway, sit back, relax and have
a rootin'-tootin' good time...
21
00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:20,950
...with Mr. Hankey,
the Christmas chocolate bar.
22
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,120
Hooray!
23
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,870
Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
24
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:43,640
Lights, please.
25
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,610
There were shepherds abiding in
the field, watching over their flock.
26
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:53,280
The Lord's angel came upon them,
and they were afraid. He said:
27
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:58,450
"Fear not. I bring tidings of joy.
For born today in the city of David...
28
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,930
...is the savior, Jesus Christ. Glory
to God and good will towards men."
29
00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:06,730
And now, South Park Elementary
presents The Birth of Jesus.
30
00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,500
Come on, Mary, push!
31
00:02:12,910 --> 00:02:14,600
I can see its head!
32
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,470
It's a boy!
33
00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:21,840
Wait a minute. Wait.
34
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:25,990
Kyle, you need to hold the baby
by the legs not the head.
35
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,180
- What kind of sick weirdo are you?
- Sorry.
36
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,850
And Wendy, I'm still not believing
the labor pains.
37
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:35,930
Mr. Garrison, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
38
00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:38,500
I'm trying to direct the school
Christmas play...
39
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,860
...but your son was holding
baby Jesus fetus by the head.
40
00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:47,470
How dare you include the Nativity
in a school play! My son is Jewish!
41
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,460
So?
42
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,370
So what makes you think
he should play Joseph?
43
00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:58,070
- Because it's Christmas.
- Our family doesn't celebrate Christmas!
44
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,150
You're not gonna lay
that Channukah crap on me, are you?
45
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,380
What? You won't get away with this!
46
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:09,320
- Kyle's mom's here to ruin Christmas.
- Shut up, fat boy!
47
00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:13,230
- I'm not fat. I'm festively plump.
- Why are you Jewish on Christmas?
48
00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:18,600
Kyle, is there anything you can do for
the play that isn't Jesus-related?
49
00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:21,540
How about the dreidel song, bubee?
50
00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:25,540
- I can sing "The Mr. Hankey Song."
- How does that go?
51
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,680
- "Christmas poo"?
- What's "Christmas poo"?
52
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:34,350
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
Haven't you heard of it?
53
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,080
Kyle, that is enough!
54
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,880
That's what you get
for raising a pagan.
55
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:42,890
That does it! I'm going straight
to the mayor about you!
56
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,900
Wait, I'm sorry.
Was it the pagan remark?
57
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,570
You guys, look.
58
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,670
It's snowing.
59
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:57,270
- Christmas snow.
- Try to catch flakes on your tongue.
60
00:03:58,310 --> 00:03:59,900
It's fun.
61
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,750
Sick, dude.
62
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,550
Hey! Jewish people
can't eat Christmas snow.
63
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,190
- We can too.
- It's against the law.
64
00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:16,330
- Officer Barbrady?
- What?
65
00:04:16,530 --> 00:04:19,690
Is it illegal for Jews to eat
Christmas snow?
66
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,660
- Yes.
- Damn it!
67
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:25,000
We have to go tell Santa Claus
what we want.
68
00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:28,170
Bye, Kyle.
There's no reason for you to come...
69
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:32,180
...since you don't get Christmas gifts.
- I get Channukah gifts for eight days.
70
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,850
Too bad it's usually
a dreidel or something lame.
71
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,020
We'll catch you later, Kyle.
72
00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:40,780
Wait! I may not have Santa, but I do
have Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
73
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,960
- What's this about Christmas poo?
- Mr. Hankey.
74
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,590
He comes out of the toilet and gives
gifts to people with high-fiber diets.
75
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,490
You are really reaching right now.
76
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:54,630
You'll be sorry when I ride
on Santa's sleigh with Mr. Hankey.
77
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,700
You won't ride on Santa's sleigh,
because you're a Jew.
78
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,430
See ya, dude.
79
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:41,170
Okay, everybody, settle down.
80
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:46,610
We are deeply offended by the Nativity
scene in front of the capital office.
81
00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,870
Church and state are separate.
82
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,720
- What's going on?
- The whole town's pissed off.
83
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,980
That isn't all, mayor. The school play
is doing a Nativity scene.
84
00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,350
It isn't being sensitive
to the Jewish community.
85
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,090
You are the Jewish community.
86
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,830
- Super-bitch is at it again.
- Don't call my mom a bitch.
87
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:12,170
The Nativity is what Christmas is about.
If you remove Christ...
88
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:15,600
...you must remove Santa,
Frosty and all that garbage too.
89
00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:19,770
And we must stop
cutting down Christmas trees.
90
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,350
I'm sick of those flaps on coffee lids.
91
00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:28,580
If you don't want to spill coffee,
don't drive with it.
92
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:35,130
Okay, people. Clearly, we need
to reach a compromise.
93
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,890
Perhaps we need
a new icon for Christmas.
94
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,360
Brilliant idea.
95
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,900
Hey, how about
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo?
96
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,670
- Excuse me?
- Oh, boy. Here we go again.
97
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,780
He comes out of the toilet...
98
00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:52,710
...and gives gifts to everybody
who eats fiber.
99
00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:53,900
Kyle!
100
00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:57,280
It's true. He doesn't care
what faith you are.
101
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,820
Don't mind him.
He's a very disturbed little boy.
102
00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:08,120
- Kyle, we're leaving right now.
- Wait.
103
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:12,460
Anyway, I'll put together
a crack team of my best workers...
104
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:15,460
...so this will be a
non-offensive Christmas...
105
00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:19,730
...to any religious or minority group.
Any other suggestions?
106
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:24,770
- Yes, Mr. Garrison?
- Could we get rid of all the Mexicans?
107
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,810
No, Mr. Garrison, we cannot
get rid of all the Mexicans.
108
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,540
Rats.
109
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,120
It's disgusting,
and we will not have it.
110
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:43,990
- Your father's right, Kyle.
- Let me handle this.
111
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,760
Having imaginary friends is fine,
but this won't do!
112
00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:49,560
Listen to your father.
113
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:54,400
I want you to repeat after me,
"There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey."
114
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:56,040
- But, Dad, he...
- Say it!
115
00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,940
- There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- Again.
116
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:02,380
- There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- It's for your own good.
117
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:07,280
Now go to bed. You won't be
opening your Channukah gift tonight.
118
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:10,550
- Probably a stupid dreidel, anyway.
- What did you say?
119
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,420
I said, Ike's on fire.
120
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,150
Oh, my God!
121
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,630
It isn't fair.
I don't wanna be an outcast.
122
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:24,430
- I'm not hearing that.
- Hello?
123
00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,000
Mr. Hankey?
124
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,400
Howdy-ho!
125
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,400
Howdy-ho, Kyle.
126
00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,580
- Gosh, you're looking swell.
- Go away.
127
00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:41,050
You know something, pal?
You smell an awful lot like flowers.
128
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,090
- My dad says you aren't real.
- Not real?
129
00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:49,490
Well, shucks, if I weren't real, could
I sing this jolly Christmas song?
130
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,070
I'll get in trouble.
131
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,970
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
132
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:10,310
Open the door!
133
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:14,110
Mr. Hankey, come here.
134
00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:21,680
Say something, Mr. Hankey.
135
00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:29,070
Get to sleep and think about how
your mother has to clean that bathroom.
136
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:30,670
What? Me?
137
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:37,170
- Howdy-ho!
- Mr. Hankey, where the hell did you go?
138
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:41,470
You should be wearing socks to sleep.
You'll catch a cold.
139
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,650
Nobody believes in you,
not even my friends.
140
00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:45,910
That's too bad.
141
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,680
Come to school with me
so I can prove I'm not crazy.
142
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,720
Say, that sounds like a swell idea.
143
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,950
We can show everyone
the spirit of Christmas.
144
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,360
Yeah, we'll show them.
145
00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:03,390
We've got to turn this place around.
Take down anything that's offensive...
146
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,470
...to any specific group.
147
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,140
Is mistletoe offensive?
148
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:10,870
Is anyone offended by mistletoe?
149
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,540
Lose the mistletoe.
150
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,550
I'm getting that John Elway
helmet for Christmas.
151
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:22,690
- How do you know?
- It's in my parents' closet.
152
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:26,790
I sneaked around my mom's closet
and saw what I'm getting:
153
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:30,120
- The Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.
- What's that?
154
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:33,930
- I don't know, but it sounds sweet.
- Hello, everybody.
155
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:36,190
- What's in the box?
- A surprise.
156
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,800
- Let me see.
- Okay. Don't scare him.
157
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,600
Dude, sick!
158
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,180
Is this some kind of Jewish tradition?
159
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,950
Wait, you guys, he's alive.
160
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:57,050
- You better go home and get some sleep.
- Dance!
161
00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:59,690
Dance! Dance, damn you!
162
00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:04,020
I'm going to say words,
and the computer will measure...
163
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:08,960
...how offended you are. We can find out
which words are least offensive...
164
00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,760
...for use in the holiday season.
Ready?
165
00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:13,060
Here we go.
166
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:14,970
Christ.
167
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,570
Okay. Chair.
168
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:20,640
Camel.
169
00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:24,470
Sand.
170
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:28,380
Stupid wop-dago.
171
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:32,380
Bench.
172
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,990
- Do you have to take the tree too?
- Mayor's orders.
173
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:43,930
Okay, I'm having a hard time
with our Christmas play.
174
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:48,270
We can't sing songs having to do
with Jesus or Santa Claus.
175
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,340
- Thanks to Kyle's mom.
- Shut up!
176
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:54,340
Anybody know any non-Santa
or non-Jesus Christmas songs?
177
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,940
- Yes, Eric?
- How about we sing:
178
00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:02,680
- "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch" in D?
- I said not to call my mom a bitch!
179
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:13,100
Shut up, Cartman!
180
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,730
- Howdy-ho!
- Mr. Hankey.
181
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:29,170
Golly, that isn't very nice.
I'd sure like to teach him a lesson.
182
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,070
Mr. Hankey, no.
183
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,670
- What the...?
- Gross, Kyle!
184
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,070
Kyle, did you just throw
doo-doo at Eric?
185
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,670
You sick bastard!
186
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,820
Now, Kyle, as your school counselor...
187
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,350
...I want to help you
confront your problem, m'kay?
188
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,220
- I don't have a problem.
- It's my understanding...
189
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:16,990
...that you have an acute case
of fecalphilia.
190
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,260
What's that?
191
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:22,600
A fecalphiliac is somebody who's
obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle.
192
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,970
- I also understand that you're Jewish.
- Well, not on purpose.
193
00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:31,470
This must be a pretty hard time
of year for you.
194
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,370
- Do kids make fun of you?
- Sometimes.
195
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,450
- That must make you mad.
- Sure.
196
00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,480
Mad enough to kill, Kyle?
197
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:41,610
- No, dude!
- That's good.
198
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:47,760
Sometimes we feel like an outsider.
We create friends in our minds, m'kay?
199
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,660
Mr. Hankey seems so real.
200
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:54,990
Of course he does. In your screwed up
head, he's the only friend you have.
201
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,190
Kyle!
202
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,100
Howdy-ho!
203
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:02,640
You're nuttier than
Chinese chicken salad, m'kay?
204
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,180
You're one screwed-up little kid.
You understand?
205
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,640
Try and stay positive. Stay away from
drugs and alcohol. In the meantime...
206
00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:17,550
...I'm putting you on a
heavy regimen of Prozac.
207
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,760
Oh, my God, you sick little monkey!
208
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,090
Children, we've just
received word from the mayor...
209
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,670
...that the play can't include
any Christmas lights...
210
00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:32,930
...since they offend people
with epilepsy.
211
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:37,440
Kenny, please go over and pull
the light cords out of the wall.
212
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,750
Careful now, Kenny.
Those are very, very dangerous.
213
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,080
- Now let's practice our...
- No! Get away from me.
214
00:15:52,290 --> 00:15:55,190
- Just look more closely at it.
- No! Go away!
215
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,830
Stan, you need to do something
about your friend.
216
00:15:59,030 --> 00:16:02,260
Get him out of here before
he hurts anybody.
217
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,910
We need to commit our friend Kyle.
218
00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:10,080
- Reason?
- I'm a clinically-depressed fecalphiliac.
219
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,010
- Any allergies?
- No.
220
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:13,510
Jacket!
221
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,280
Bye, Kyle. Happy Channukah.
222
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:25,050
Okay, children, does everyone
have their leotards on?
223
00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:29,260
Good. It looks like they've taken
the trees down.
224
00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:33,130
There's nothing Christian either.
This should be great.
225
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:38,200
This could be such a wonderful play.
I wish Kyle was here to see it.
226
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,770
Second verse, same as the first.
227
00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:51,120
- Welcome to the South Park...
- Wait. There's a star above the stage.
228
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,080
- That's offensive to non-Christians.
- Oh, come on.
229
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:58,380
- Hey! Don't push your beliefs on me.
- I agree.
230
00:16:58,590 --> 00:16:59,890
Oh, brother.
231
00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:04,390
Kenny, climb the ladder and take down
the star above the stage.
232
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,500
Be careful not to fall
in the pool below you.
233
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,430
The shark for the third act
is in there.
234
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:15,400
Welcome to the South Park Elementary
Holiday Experience.
235
00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:18,480
Before we start,
here's a non-offensive...
236
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,770
...non-denominational song
by the school chef.
237
00:17:48,510 --> 00:17:50,770
Doesn't seem right without Kyle.
238
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,310
Well, old Kyle's gonna be
locked up for a while. Get used to it.
239
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:58,080
- Get ready to take your places.
- Thank you, Chef.
240
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,450
Now, South Park Elementary presents...
241
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:08,290
...the non-offensive,
non-denominational Christmas play...
242
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:13,060
...with music and lyrics by New York
minimalist composer, Philip Glass.
243
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,030
As I turn and look into the sun...
244
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,800
...the rays burn my eyes.
245
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,810
How like a turtle, the sun looks.
246
00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:28,740
What the hell is this?
247
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,150
This is horrible.
248
00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:35,190
This is the most God-awful
piece of crap I've ever seen.
249
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,220
You made it this way.
250
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,860
- The Jews didn't want it Christian.
- We didn't take out Santa.
251
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:44,530
All you bastards ruined Christmas.
252
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,130
- Get him in the ribs.
- Tree-hugger!
253
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,440
- This is the worst Christmas ever.
- Yeah.
254
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,400
Where's Kyle?
255
00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,510
- We committed him.
- What? Why?
256
00:18:56,710 --> 00:19:00,980
He kept seeing this brown piece
of Christmas poo everywhere.
257
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:03,950
Christmas Poo? You mean Mr. Hankey.
258
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:10,750
- Say, kids, why the long faces?
- We're bored.
259
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,450
- There's nothing to do.
- Maybe this will help.
260
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:17,060
A Mr. Hankey Construction Set!
261
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:22,130
Now you can make your own Mr. Hankey.
Just use the fecal fishing net...
262
00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:25,130
...and select your best Mr. Hankey.
- That one.
263
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:29,300
Then use the Hankey stand
to add eyes, mouth and hats.
264
00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:32,170
I made a mariachi Mr. Hankey.
265
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,240
Now it's a Mrs. Hankey.
266
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:38,410
- Let's put the fez hat on him.
- I wish Daddy were still alive.
267
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:42,350
The set comes with everything
seen here.
268
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,050
Where's Mr. Hankey?
269
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,790
- I love you, sweetheart.
- I love you too.
270
00:19:55,740 --> 00:20:00,760
This is horrible. All of this because
we didn't believe in Mr. Hankey.
271
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:03,240
You can believe in him now.
272
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,710
I believe.
273
00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,850
I believe in Mr. Hankey.
274
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:11,840
Howdy-ho!
275
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:17,120
Howdy, folks. Gosh, you sure do
smell nice and flowery.
276
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,850
Howdy-ho, Chef.
277
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,050
Howdy-ho, Mr. Hankey.
278
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:25,490
That does it. Screw you guys,
I'm going home.
279
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,730
- I draw the line at talking poo.
- What's all the ruckus?
280
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:33,000
The whole town is about
to kill each other.
281
00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:37,200
I reckon this could be a job
for Mr. Hankey.
282
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,580
Stop fighting!
283
00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,550
Oh, my God.
What the hell is that thing?
284
00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:47,050
Come on, gang, don't fight.
285
00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:51,820
You people focus so hard
on the things wrong with Christmas...
286
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,620
...that you've forgotten
what's right about it.
287
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,690
Don't you see?
This is the one time of year...
288
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,660
...we're supposed to forget
the bad stuff.
289
00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:05,200
Stop worrying and being sad about
the state of the world...
290
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,460
...and for just one day say,
"The heck with it."
291
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,770
"Let's sing and dance
and bake cookies."
292
00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:25,520
Dude, this is pretty f* * * ed up.
293
00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:31,520
Howdy-ho, Kyle.
294
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:35,670
- Oh, no. I'm not sane yet.
- I brought some friends with me.
295
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:37,170
Friends?
296
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,270
Merry Christmas, Kyle Broflovski!
297
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,740
You can see him? I'm not crazy?
298
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,970
Well, I've got a long night
ahead of me.
299
00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:14,160
Bye-bye. Merry Christmas.
300
00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:18,700
Goodbye. Bring me lots of gifts.
I always believed in you.
301
00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:20,970
Howdy-ho, ho, ho!
302
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:24,620
I learned something today.
Jewish people are okay.
303
00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:27,050
And Channukah can be cool too.
304
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,390
It seems like something's
still not right.
305
00:22:31,590 --> 00:22:33,890
Yeah, something feels unfinished.
306
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,490
What could it be?
23538
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof