All language subtitles for South.Park.S01E08.Damien

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:06,250 That was a hoot and a holler. Did you like that? 2 00:00:06,410 --> 00:00:08,810 - You bet! - That was a good episode. 3 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:12,150 But this next one, "Damien," is our favorite. 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,950 It's about good and evil and being the new kid in school. 5 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:21,120 That's right, South Parketeers. Being the new kid can be hard. 6 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:26,170 Matt and I know because we used to beat the crap out of the new kids. 7 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,030 Because this episode has Jesus and Satan... 8 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,500 ...we got a lot of complaints from religious groups. 9 00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:36,340 They said we were "blasphemous" and "sacrilegious." 10 00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:41,640 Well, you're all a bunch of f* * * * * g a * * * * * * s. 11 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,550 F* * * * * g f* * *heads. 12 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,910 Wow. You said a mouthful. 13 00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:49,110 Hey, gang. It's our friend Indian Companion. 14 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:52,920 Someone coming. 15 00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:57,830 We don't care that someone's coming. Can't you say something else? 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,800 It's always, "Someone coming." I hope someone comes. We like people. 17 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:05,270 Let's tell Indian Companion to go away. 18 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,340 Go away, Indian Companion! 19 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:12,710 Why don't we all sit back, get a little rowdy... 20 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,180 ...and watch "Damien." 21 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:18,620 Hooray! 22 00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:52,250 Damien 23 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,850 Here you go, Kyle. Here's yours, Stan. 24 00:01:57,030 --> 00:02:00,520 - What is this? - Invitations to my birthday party. 25 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,130 Your mom's giving you a big party again? 26 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,230 That's right. 27 00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:10,930 Kick-ass! Cartman's mom throws the best parties! 28 00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:14,080 - That's right. - Lf my mom could cook like her... 29 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,140 ...I'd be a big fat-ass too. - That's ri... Hey! 30 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:21,010 - Eric, I didn't get an invitation. - Really? Gosh... 31 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:24,710 ...where could I have put Pip's invitation? Let's see... 32 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:29,650 Pip's invitation, Pip's invitation... I remember. 33 00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,060 I shoved it up my ass! I wrote it out... 34 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:36,930 ...put it in an envelope and shoved it right up my ass... 35 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:41,800 ...ruining any chance you had of coming to my party. Sorry, old chap. 36 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,600 Here's yours, Wendy, and here's yours, Clay. 37 00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:50,540 - Children, today is a very special day. - My birthday isn't until Saturday. 38 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:56,480 I'm not talking about your birthday. We have a new student joining us today. 39 00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:59,380 Some of you know what it's like to be the new kid. 40 00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:03,010 So take special care to make him feel welcome. 41 00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:06,250 I want you all to meet our new classmate... 42 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,490 - What's your name again? - Damien. 43 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,500 Say hi to Damien. 44 00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:18,660 - Where are you from? - The Seventh Layer of Hell. 45 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,330 Oh, my mother was from Alabama. 46 00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:25,040 My arrival denotes the beginning of the end. 47 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:27,610 - The reign of my father. - Your father? 48 00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:31,340 - The Prince of Darkness. - We have royalty in our class. 49 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,680 Take your seat. 50 00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:36,450 We'll finish learning about singers of the baroque era. 51 00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:40,060 Children, Nancy Sinatra was a choice piece of ass... 52 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:43,390 New kid, want an invitation to my birthday party? 53 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:46,090 Here begins pain. The new domination... 54 00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:49,790 Psych! I wasn't gonna give you an invitation. 55 00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:53,170 Hey, who cut your hair, Stevie Wonder? 56 00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,540 - Whoa! - Damn, what a freak! 57 00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:04,340 - I had a Poofy Pie in that desk! - Feel the wrath of the fallen angel. 58 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,820 The plague of blight is upon thee! 59 00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:09,750 Do you need to sit in time-out for a minute? 60 00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:13,520 You got in trouble. You got in trouble. 61 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,430 Cartman, how come my invitation... 62 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,970 ...says "Green Mega Man"? - Mine says "Red Mega Man." 63 00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:24,430 - That's what you're supposed to get me. - Dude! 64 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:27,970 - You don't tell people what to get you. - That's weak. 65 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,300 It's very simple. 66 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,040 Green Mega Man goes with Red and Yellow... 67 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,010 ...to make Ultra Mega Mega Man. 68 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:36,480 You need all three or it won't work. 69 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,710 I'll get you what I want. 70 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,250 Maybe you don't want any of my mom's cake, pie and ice cream, then. 71 00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:44,860 Green Mega Man it is. 72 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:48,690 Now, Kenny, you are to get me Yellow Mega Man. 73 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:53,820 That's because Yellow Mega Man is the cheapest and your family's poor. 74 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,490 - What are you doing? - You can't sit with us, weirdo. 75 00:04:57,670 --> 00:05:00,900 Infidels! I will turn you all into beasts of burden! 76 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,300 Go find another table, new kid. 77 00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,110 Anyway, Kenny, Yellow Mega Man is only $8.95. 78 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,550 So your mom can put it on layaway and make payments. 79 00:05:13,450 --> 00:05:14,440 Hey! 80 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:18,560 Hello. I'm Phillip. They call me Pip because they hate me. 81 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:20,820 - Then I'll call you Pip. - Right-o. 82 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,120 Hey, new kid. 83 00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:28,300 Kenny says he saw your mom drop you off this morning, and she's a real dog. 84 00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:29,760 That does it! 85 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:35,910 What the...? 86 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,140 - He made Kenny a duck-billed platypus! - A what? 87 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,050 Turn him back. He has to buy the Yellow Mega Man. 88 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,720 - Hello there. - Hey, Chef. 89 00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:47,150 - How's it going? - Bad. 90 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:51,520 - Why bad? - The new kid's a total weirdo freak. 91 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:54,790 Children, you shouldn't not like somebody... 92 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,230 ...just because they're different. Let me sing you a little song. 93 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,460 - What were we talking about? - The new kid. 94 00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:37,470 Death to the holy. The wrath of the fallen angels now waits for you all! 95 00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:41,510 - Whoa! - That is one fudged-up little cracker. 96 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:42,730 We told you. 97 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,470 We've got to do something, children! 98 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:50,520 He's tearing my cafeteria apart. 99 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:51,740 Bring me Jesus! 100 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,190 My wrath shall continue until I speak with Jesus! 101 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:57,150 - Jesus? - Jesus? 102 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:01,300 - Two minutes to air, Jesus. - Thanks, Roland. Blessed art thou. 103 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,560 - Jesus! - I only do autographs after the show. 104 00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:08,100 There's a big problem. Some new kid showed up... 105 00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:11,570 ...and Chef thinks he's evil. - Look what he did to Kenny. 106 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:14,500 Wow. That's pretty heavy. 107 00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:16,730 He keeps throwing things around... 108 00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:20,040 ...saying stuff about his "Dark Prince father." 109 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,240 - The Dark Prince? - Yeah. 110 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:26,320 So it was written. The cycle of years brings the Son of Evil. 111 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,350 He's talking like the new kid. 112 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,580 Thou must taketh me to Satan's seed... 113 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,450 ...so mine eyes can confirm the wretched truth. 114 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:35,950 Okay. 115 00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:41,860 Five minutes until recess is over, you little bastards. 116 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:46,130 Now, as you can see, Red Mega Man uses the Mega-Cycle. 117 00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:48,870 Which is what Clyde will be getting me. 118 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,500 Wendy, you were supposed to get me the Mega Power Chopper. 119 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,240 But I'm changing that to Yellow Mega Man... 120 00:07:56,420 --> 00:08:00,010 ...since Kenny was turned into a duck-billed platypus. 121 00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:03,520 That means that the Mega Man Beach House... 122 00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,850 ...will be given by two people... 123 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,590 Our slide! 124 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,490 Feel my wrath! 125 00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:17,800 You shouldn't be so upset. I know it's hard, but they'll accept you someday. 126 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,440 I don't need it. I'm the son of Satan. 127 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,110 I know what it's like not to have friends. 128 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,370 You should speak to the counselor. He helps me. 129 00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:30,920 - Damien! - Son of stench. Ruler of the weak. 130 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,590 So it is thou. Son of Lucifer! 131 00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:37,190 Your time here is short. Soon, my father comes. 132 00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:39,620 Let him come. I shall stop him. 133 00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:42,230 Behold, he is already upon us. 134 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:44,890 Oh, dude! 135 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:54,970 What the hell's going on? 136 00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:57,800 It's that guy from the public access show. 137 00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:01,040 - What's happening? - Come over here if you're scared. 138 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,680 I'll protect you. Not you, damn it! 139 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,150 Jesus, my father says he chooses you. He calls you out. 140 00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:14,950 Be here at this time tomorrow to discuss the terms. 141 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,620 Let the final battle between good and evil be fought... 142 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,430 ...right here in South Park! 143 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,070 Come on, Ned. Let's get to the bookie! 144 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:27,300 - You're gonna fight Satan? - It has been ordained from the start. 145 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:32,070 My children, this is the most crucial and serious time of all history. 146 00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:36,740 Who will win? Jesus or the Prince of Darkness? 147 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,720 The final battle between good and evil, only on pay-per-view. 148 00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:44,090 Jesus vs. Satan, live from South Park on Saturday! 149 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:46,230 Only $49.95. 150 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,860 Wait a minute. Saturday's my party! They can't have the fight on Saturday! 151 00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:55,000 Do we go to the fight or Cartman's birthday? 152 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:56,190 Birthday! 153 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,900 We can't miss the apocalyptic battle. 154 00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:01,670 Guys, my mom's getting a Ferris wheel. 155 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,280 We have to at least see the weigh-in. 156 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:09,350 Who decided it had to be on Saturday? This is a plot against me, isn't it? 157 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:15,650 - When is Satan gonna show up? - Did he show up yet? 158 00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:18,120 - Not yet. - Hey, Jesus, if you win... 159 00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:20,690 ...can you turn Kenny back to normal? 160 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,950 What the hell do you mean, "if"? 161 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,220 - Don't mind him. He's Jewish. - Oh. 162 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:29,500 We're all with you, Jesus. We put all our money on you. 163 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,540 Thank you for your faith... 164 00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:35,300 ...but I don't think you understand. 165 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,000 You're gonna kick his ass, Jesus. 166 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:44,150 Behold, the Evil One approaches. 167 00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:50,550 Holy poop on a stick! 168 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,780 Puny son of Jehovah. 169 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,590 Prepare to enter thy house of pain. 170 00:10:58,030 --> 00:11:00,760 Holy crap, dude. Satan is huge! 171 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:03,960 Now, that is a man who's eaten a lot of beef. 172 00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:09,410 Son of God, I will smash thy face into small little bits. 173 00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,480 - Oh. Oh, yeah? - Damn! 174 00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:15,740 I have such delightful horrors to unleash upon thee. 175 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:17,680 Oh, yeah? 176 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:25,620 Satan weighs in at 320 pounds, 4 ounces. 177 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:33,830 Jesus Christ weighs in at 1 35 pounds, 1 ounce. 178 00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:36,130 Oh, crap. 179 00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,000 I weigh more than that! 180 00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,570 Let the new prince be decided on Saturday. 181 00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:45,010 First South Park, then the world. 182 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,640 Well, I think I'II... 183 00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:55,550 - I think I left the oven on. - I think I left your oven on too. 184 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,290 See you Saturday, Jesus. Good luck. 185 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,330 - Change my bet! - Mine on the Devil! 186 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:07,260 - I want to change my bet to Satan. - Me too. 187 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,560 I was here first. 188 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,170 As your counselor... 189 00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:15,240 ...I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, okay? 190 00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:19,040 Being new can be tough. But I'm your friend, m'kay? 191 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:23,410 - Everybody hates me. - Well, why do you suppose that is? 192 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:27,980 - Because I'm the son of the Devil? - That's good, why else? 193 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,620 Because I burn them and kill them? 194 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,620 Well, maybe that's it. 195 00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:36,960 What you need to do, Damien, is to be overly nice. 196 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,790 No matter how mean the other kids are, just don't retaliate. 197 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,660 Be passive, okay? 198 00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:48,810 That's what I taught Pip. Just look how much the other kids like him now. 199 00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:54,380 - I bet I can spit the most on him. - Oh, yeah? I bet I can spit in his hair. 200 00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:57,070 A little higher and you've got it. 201 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,980 Recess sucks without any slides or nothing. 202 00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,550 Here comes the unholy butthole now. 203 00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:06,250 Thanks for burning everything, you little bitch. 204 00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:10,730 I apologize for that and turning your friend into a platypus. 205 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:14,560 I was doing my father's bidding. I didn't have a choice. 206 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,300 Oh, excuse me, new kid. 207 00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:20,930 I didn't mean to fart on you. I didn't have a choice. 208 00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,430 You smell like a fart, new kid. 209 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:27,550 - We're gonna call you "Fartboy" now. - Bye-bye, Fartboy. 210 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:31,340 - How are you, Damien? - They farted on me and called me... 211 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,450 Fartboy? Perhaps they won't call me that anymore. 212 00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:44,560 Excuse me. I just talked to the bookie. 213 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:47,970 I have been forsaken! 214 00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:51,660 It seems that several bets were changed to Satan. 215 00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:56,500 In fact, it seems that only one person is still betting on me. 216 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,270 You should all be ashamed of yourselves. 217 00:13:59,450 --> 00:14:02,910 Betting against your lord and savior. I am disgusted! 218 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,110 You changed your bet. You forsaked me too. 219 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,280 Oh, right, well. He has a few hundred pounds on you, Jesus. 220 00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:14,790 I implore you. Don't bet on the Dark One. You will never win. 221 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,130 I'm sorry I have sinned against you. I'm gonna go to the bookie... 222 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,030 ...and change my bet right now. - Yeah, me too. 223 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,970 Praise the lord! 224 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:28,730 Thank you, sweet Jesus, for showing us the light! 225 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:29,900 See you later. 226 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,370 Does he think we're crazy? 227 00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:41,640 You're all a bunch of Judases. 228 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,690 - Hey, Jesus. - Why are you out so late? 229 00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:47,190 We have to find Mega Mans for Cartman. 230 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,260 Oh. Kids, you believe I can beat Satan, right? 231 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:54,890 - Sure. You're the son of God. - Are you having doubts? 232 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:59,160 No, no. But could you help me train a little? 233 00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:03,540 Satan, what will the outcome of the fight be? 234 00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:06,740 I will crush him like a little bug. 235 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:10,280 Satan, what about your involvement in the Gulf War? 236 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:16,620 Let's focus on the fight. I'm sick of these rumors about my fighters. 237 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,960 "He's a dirty fighter." "He causes all the world's violence and death." 238 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,160 It's just getting old. Let everything be decided in the ring. 239 00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:28,360 Shouldn't you be out shopping for my presents? 240 00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:31,130 - Drink these raw eggs, Jesus. - No way. 241 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:36,870 I can't hit Jesus Christ. My mother would never speak to me again. 242 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,840 - You're his sparring partner. - You have to. 243 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:43,010 Satan must be defeated. Please help me train. 244 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:46,650 Okay. But I'm just gonna tap you, all right? 245 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:49,910 - Give it your best shot... - Oh, God in heaven! 246 00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:53,960 - What have I done? - Anybody get the number of that truck? 247 00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:01,500 Come on, kiddies. Eat more. 248 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,940 Welcome, Clyde. Presents on the table to your left. 249 00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,510 Welcome, Bebe. Presents go to your left. 250 00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:11,370 - Welcome, Chef. - Yup. Here's your present. 251 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:14,010 Well, nice party, see you later. 252 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,710 - You just got here, Chef. - But the fight is starting. 253 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,880 Dude, check it out. Cartman's mom made chili. 254 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,390 That's my favorite kind of chili. 255 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:29,590 - I guess all the kids are at that party. - It's always a huge event. 256 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,490 Sometimes I sneak up to the fence and pretend I'm there. 257 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,140 The other kids have always hated you? 258 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,570 They make fun of the fat boy too. 259 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,940 Now I think they like him because he picks on me. 260 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,610 In the blue corner, wearing white trunks... 261 00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:49,810 ...weighing in at a mere 1 40 pounds... 262 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:55,890 ...Jesús "El Savior" Christ. 263 00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:59,920 And in the very, very black corner... 264 00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:02,290 ...wearing very, very black trunks... 265 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:05,090 ...the king of all that is evil... 266 00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:09,130 ...Beelzebub! 267 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,340 Ladies and gentlemen... 268 00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:19,170 ...let's get ready to rumble! 269 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:25,580 I want a clean fight. No punches below the belt, holding or miracles. 270 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,920 - What are you doing here? - You weren't invited, new kid. 271 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:37,500 - Neither were you, Pip. - I tried to tell Damien, but... 272 00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:41,730 Wait a minute. I want to do something special for your party. 273 00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:55,310 - Wow. - Whoa, that was cool! 274 00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:00,780 - You're not such a bad guy, Damien. - Come on in and join the party. 275 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,140 Come on, you little wuss, fight! 276 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,930 Throw a punch. 277 00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:22,180 I wonder what Stan got me for my birthday. 278 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:27,580 Look, a Blue Mega Man! Thank you, Stan. You may eat pie, cake and ice cream. 279 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:32,810 And what did Wendy get me? Oh, it's the Yellow Mega Man! 280 00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:35,320 Have some pie, cake and ice cream. 281 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,820 Oh, look what Kyle got me. It's a Red... 282 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,050 Ants in the Pants? Ants in the...? 283 00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:42,560 Ants in the Pants?! 284 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,260 - It's a game, dude. It's fun! - You son of a bitch! 285 00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:50,730 I told you Red Mega Man! Now I can't make Ultra Mega Mega Man. 286 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,410 - You piece of crap! - They were all out! 287 00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:56,200 I hate you! I want you to die! 288 00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:57,740 Die! 289 00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,610 That's it! Party is over! 290 00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:01,080 Everybody go home! 291 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:10,120 Get the hell out, I said! Party's over, get out, goddamn it! 292 00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:13,620 - You need to mellow out. - Take your game with you! 293 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:18,120 - That kid has real emotional problems. - He does this all the time. 294 00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:21,630 Come on. We can still catch the end of the fight. 295 00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:25,860 What a splendid party. 296 00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:31,740 Fight, damn it. 297 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,980 Dude, Jesus is getting his butt kicked. You've got to fight, Jesus. 298 00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,660 Why? What's the point? 299 00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:46,760 No one believes in me. Everyone bet on Satan. 300 00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:50,920 My father and the town forsaked me. I'm completely forsook. 301 00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:54,620 Someone bet on you. One person still has money on you. 302 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,860 It doesn't matter. He's too strong. I give up. 303 00:19:58,070 --> 00:19:59,630 Snap out of it, Jesus! 304 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,740 What would Nancy Kerrigan do? Not give up. 305 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,880 When it looked the darkest, she fought to be the best. 306 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,810 - She wouldn't stop until she won. - Stan? 307 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:11,110 - She wouldn't take second. - Stan. 308 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,310 - She wanted the gold. - Stan! 309 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,280 - What?! - She got silver, dude. 310 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,510 She was second. 311 00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:20,180 - Really? - Yeah, dude. 312 00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:23,830 Never mind, Jesus. Nancy Kerrigan sucks. 313 00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:28,970 Somebody once said, "Don't try to be a great man, just be a man." 314 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,260 Who said that? 315 00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:31,670 You did, Jesus. 316 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,640 You're right, Stan. Thank you, boys. 317 00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:43,880 - Was that in the Bible? - I saw it on Star Trek. 318 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,620 Come on, sissy. Hit me. Hit me! 319 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,450 Okay, pal. You asked for it. 320 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,500 Oh, you got me. 321 00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:02,640 One, two, three... 322 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:08,370 - No way, he barely touched him. ...seven, eight, nine, ten. 323 00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:09,530 You're out! 324 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:12,940 Our savior! 325 00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,240 Winner by knockout... 326 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:18,910 ...and still undisputed ruler of your spiritual kingdom... 327 00:21:19,090 --> 00:21:25,250 ...Jesús "El Savior" Christ. 328 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:30,460 - Hey, he isn't hurt. He threw the fight! - Yeah! 329 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:33,220 Fools. You are all fools. 330 00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:35,960 Of course I took a dive. Don't you see? 331 00:21:36,140 --> 00:21:40,330 Who do you think was the one person that bet on Jesus to win? 332 00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:43,870 Me, you idiots. 333 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:50,310 Now I'll take your money, return to Hell much richer and buy some real estate. 334 00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:55,750 - I don't believe this! - What a mean thing to do. 335 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,650 Farewell, fools. 336 00:21:57,860 --> 00:22:00,380 That guy is a jerk. 337 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:05,400 - Jesus told you not to bet on Satan. - Boy, did we get screwed. 338 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:09,590 Jesus, we're sorry. Can you ever forgive us? 339 00:22:10,570 --> 00:22:13,300 Aw, heck. Do I have a choice? 340 00:22:15,110 --> 00:22:17,980 Well, Jesus, I definitely learned my lesson. 341 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:21,640 Never bet on evil, because when you do... Ned, look! 342 00:22:21,850 --> 00:22:25,380 A rare duck-billed platypus! It's coming right for us! 343 00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:31,480 - Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! - You bastard! 344 00:22:31,690 --> 00:22:34,460 Goodbye, guys. It was nice meeting you. 345 00:22:34,660 --> 00:22:36,600 - You're leaving? - I have to. 346 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,730 My dad's always on the move. 347 00:22:38,930 --> 00:22:43,930 - Wow, I feel kind of bad for that kid. - Just when he fit in he has to leave. 348 00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:48,510 Parents are so cruel. Don't they know a child needs security most of all? 349 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,340 More pie, hon? 350 00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:57,880 No more pie. 27010

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.