All language subtitles for Hyperdrive S02E03

How long have you been traveling?

A year or so.

I had a job torturing rebels and
then laying my eggs in their faces

so my young would burst
from their eye sockets

and, you know, it was secure
and it was money but, um...

In the end, it wasn't me.

Yeah. Mmm. Yeah.

- I love this planet. Mmm.
- Mmm.

Poverty makes people so much nicer,
don't you think?

They don't have all the things
that weigh us down,

like fancy music systems

and careers and hope.

TEAL: Ooh! Hello!

Can I... Can I sit here?
That would be lovely. Budge up.

Ooh, slimy.

- Hi.
- Sorry.

Just got off the old sky bus,
so my neck is so stiff.

Just going to do a little stretchette.

That one.

So, who's who, then?

- I'm Vortigan.
- Shh! It's her I'm interested in.

- I'm Arabella.
- Right. That's a match.

That's a nice name.

(TEAL CHUCKLING)

They're Space Force boots.

Are they?

- Say you got them in a market.
- Mmm. Very good.

I really don't think
my character would say that.

I won these in a card game,

because I'm a card sharp.

Mmm.

You know a lot about Space Force, then?

Well, you could say that, yeah.

Is that because your father's a very
high-ranking member of it, possibly?

- He's an admiral.
- Mmm.

And Yahtzee.

Admiral whom?

Teal, just get on with it.

There's nothing wrong
with being thorough.

What's this?

- What what?
- What's that?

It's just an earring...

Identity confirmed. Identity confirmed.
Operation Kestrel is green.

Arabella Spicer,
daughter of Admiral Spicer,

you are two days late for university.

We are here to escort you
to your place of study,

where you will Commencify a course in
Land Management and Social History.

- No!
- Wrong. Not no, yes. Take her.

Well done, Henderson.

I know this mission is
a little irregular, but it's a one-off.

It's imperative that
you get Arabella to college

before the end of Freshers' Week.

The Admiral feels that
if you don't make friends early on,

then it's a lingering social death.

Hang on. But that would mean
a direct route and that would take us

straight through the middle of...
Hey, hey!

Good operation name by the way, Dave.

Kestrel, incisive, swift. You all right?

I named it after the lager.

She won't come out of the shuttle.
She's not a happy bunny.

Give her a minute. Give her a minute.

Nice planet?

Nice? No, it's a festering Gomorrah.

Anarchy and sloth have coupled
and that world

is their baseless progeny.

Oh, for an exterminating angel
of fire-spewing doom.

Mmm, but there was a lovely bazaar.
Oh, I got you this, Commander.

Oh, what's that?

Ah!

- It's my name on a grain of rice.
- Yes!

What an amazing time we live in.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

(SIGHS)

Hey, you get me anything?

Um...

Yes, I did, actually.

- (MUMBLES) The galaxy's smallest kite.
- It's what?

The galaxy's smallest kite.

Oi, it's so small. Look at that.

You'd need hardly any wind with that,
would you?

- Hello?
- Commander Michael Henderson.

Did my dad send you?

God. It's like when he wouldn't
let me go to that jazz rave.

Or when he had my boyfriend killed.

We hope you enjoy your stay with us
here on the Camden Lock.

I hate Space Force.

Should get rid of it.
Spend the money on something useful.

Such as?

(SCOFFS) Baby Pilates.
And that's just a start.

Ah, I see. You're a little bit
left wing, aren't you?

Which is fine. Mr York used to be
a bit left wing, didn't you?

What, um...

What was that thing
you used to say? Um...

- Poor people should get healthcare.
- The healthcare, yeah.

Youthful madness.

Look, you'll be at uni in four days.
Until then, make yourself at home.

Anything you need, anything at all,
just let us know, yeah?

Oh, yeah, okay.

Um, I'd like
a 20-mile-wide bowl of mayonnaise.

Anything within reason.

Um, I'm allergic to feathers.
I'd like a synthetic pillow.

- Done.
- Full of singing mice.

Teal, show her to her quarters.
Mr York, with me, please.

TEAL: Take this. Follow me, please.

That's it.

And here we are.

So, um, now.

I actually had a hand in
designing the guest bedroom.

I wanted to combine 22nd century chic

with hues of country diary
of an Edwardian lady.

I must say, I think I pulled it off.

Yeah, it's one of those ironic

let's-see-how-horrible-
we-can-do-it things.

Make it so disgusting
it's sort of, almost cool.

Exactly.

Right. Now, I've laid out everything
you need here for your first-week essay,

"The Destruction Of Leeds
By A Comet In 2029

"Turned Out To Be
Beneficial For The Region. Discuss."

So that's all there, okay?

Oh, you're nervous about uni,
aren't you?

Don't be. Trust me,
you'll have an amazing time.

You'll make lots and lots of new friends

and you'll stay up till 2:00,
drinking coffee and chatting and...

And then suddenly,
everybody's made new friends

and you're drinking coffee on your own.

Just because you go to lectures
doesn't make you boring.

Why do I always have to buy
the washing-up liquid?

It's not the expense, it's the admin.

Saturday nights are the worst.
That's when the tears come, so...

You'll have the time of your life!

Okay, so there's extra counter panes
if you need them.

VINE: She's nice, isn't she? I think
we had a moment there, me and her.

JEFFERS: All right. Well...

A girl like that,
you've got to move in rather carefully.

Yeah, like you'd know.

How?

Well, women are attracted
to strength, Vine.

So you have to show her you're strong.
Play it cool. You know, just hang back.

Let her come to you.

Better still, don't even let her
see you. Stay out of sight.

Don't ever talk to her,
and transfer to a different ship.

You fancy her, too, don't you?

Um, chubby.

McFarlane Opening.

Very clever, Mr York.
I've got your number.

I know her kind.

They despise us and
everything we stand for.

(SCOFFS) Until the day
the Bubsy Wasps of CheCheChe

come scrabbling at their front doors
with their two-meter sting claws.

And then they will shout,
"Save us, Mr York.

"Save us from
the Bubsy Wasps of CheCheChe."

I will look down on them
and I will whisper,

"No, let them feast upon
your flaccid innards."

- Ah!
- The Yetamota Defense.

How unpredictable.

She's a good kid, York.
She's just young.

Maybe she needs someone
to take her under his wing.

It is our mission to
get her from A to B.

She can learn at university.

Maybe we were chosen for a reason.

- Oh! And see them tumble!
- Good play. Well done.

Checkplug.

(WHEEZING)

Why don't you bring your inhaler?
What is...

oil

- Drop her.
- I'm setting her free.

You've taken an innocent woman and
turned her into your tech no slave.

Sandstrom is an enhanced human...

Yeah, she obeys everything I say,
but it's nothing like being a slave.

She loves it.

You should see her little face light up
when I give her an order.

- Right, Sandstrom?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, if you don't stop that,
you will pull her brain out.

You're not too big to go
over my knee, young lady.

- That would be crossing a line.
- Yes, it would be crossing a line.

(CRUNCHING)

No!

(HENDERSON EXCLAIMING)

I thought it was just a little hat.

Oh, my poor, loyal digi-serf.

- Watch where you step.
- Grey and slimy. Could be Sandstrom.

Okay, look...

Okay.

Arabella, it's very
important to me now that

you don't look down.

Fear not,
I shall make you whole once more.

Okay, look. Very gently,

lay the mecha-skull on the console.
Don't look down, yeah.

Okay? Now, come with me.

Just... No, no. Don't look down.

(VOMITING)

She's honked in spinning jenny.

HENDERSON: Sit.

Two ways we can do this, all right?

I can fling you in solitary
for assaulting an officer.

You're there for the rest of the trip.

It isn't very nice, let me
tell you that. But that's not my way.

- That's the way the squares would do it.
- Right. What would you do?

What I'm gonna do is this.

All right, you're gonna come to my cabin
every day, and we're gonna talk.

We're gonna chat.
We're gonna jibber-jabber.

We're gonna put names to
those demons inside of you.

- You're not a therapist.
- Oh, really?

- I'll have solitary.
- Hmm.

I thought you might say that.

You'll fight it at first.
"I don't want to talk. I hate you."

But I'll keep going.
'Cause I've got faith in you.

You'll come in, you'll be like...

(WHIMPERING) "My dad never loved me!

"How can I be a better person
who isn't really annoying?"

Hey. And after that,
everything will be all right.

Forever.

Today.

My cabin.

- 3:00.
- I'm not coming.

- You'll be there.
- I'm not coming.

Yeah, you will.

- Not coming.
- Hey, hey, hey! I'll see you at 3:00.

- 3:00.
- I'm not coming.

(KNOCKING)

- 3:00. I'll see you at 3:00.
- I'm not coming.

(MOCK CRYING)

Care for one?

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
I'd love a tissue.

The tears mean healing.

I like your top.

I hate it. I hate all my clothes.

- I like your haircut.
- I don't. I'm gonna shave it.

Can you leave me?

I think I'm just going to
stay here and die.

Is this woman bothering you?

I just don't think you should die

till you've seen
the level 7 service corridor.

What's in it?

- Pipes.
- Oh.

- What's your name?
- Carl.

Carl Jeffers.
I'm going that way if you...

- I like your top.
- (GIGGLES) Do you? Thanks.

Oi! Oi, Jeffers! We're under attack.
Come on.

Come on! Leave her. Come on.

(ALARM BLARING)

Incoming Engulfers.
A whole brood of them.

I knew this was a bad short cut.
Mr York, fire tubes one and three.

Priming and firing.

Oh, found the bridge all right?

- Why are you shooting at them?
- They're Engulfers. They devour atoms

- and turn them into dark matter.
- Huh?

They eat little girls like you
and poo black holes.

Well, they still have a right to live.

Look, this is the toughest part
of the job for me, all right?

It's the bit I hate.

Aw! That one, right,
went in through the mummy

and got baby on the way out.

It's completely one-sided.
It's a massacre!

Oh, thank you very much.

I love peace, all right?

- Teal, tell her what I think of peace.
- Oh, he absolutely loves peace.

It's one of my favourite states
of being, up there with asleep and...

- Drunk.
- And drunk. Thank you, Teal.

But sometimes, with a heavy heart,
one must... Oh! Right up its mouth arse!

Who was that? Was that you?

- Could have been.
- Jeffers!

Yeah, you're just like
all the rest, are you?

(STAMMERING) No! That was... I ..

Hey, come on, everyone. This is crazy.
You know, they mean us no harm.

- It's murder.
- Oh, Carl.

You've seen enough, kid.
Maybe I have, too.

- Mr Jeffers?
- Uh...

You'd better go.

Murderer!

The rest are fleeing, Commander.

Let us give chase.
Hunt them down one by one.

Oh, I don't want to.
It's no fun any more.

You know, I think her generation
might be the very first

that doesn't respect its elders.

- That is so true.
- Isn't it?

Is this where you do the paperwork
for a bit longer

just to show who's in charge?

(SIGHS)

And he's peering over the half-moons.

- You know why I asked you in?
- No.

Okay. We're officers, all right?

As such, there are certain

rivers we don't fish.

Certain substations we don't climb into.

- Do you know what I'm saying?
- No.

Okay. It's the same for me.
What if I started sleeping with a cadet?

That's pretty academic 'cause
none of them wanna sleep with you.

That's not true, but...

I was playing Shag or Die on level 12
the other day,

they all chose sweet oblivion.

- Jeffers.
- In preference to that.

Just leave her alone, all right?

End of me... You can't just leave me...

Listen, for your information,
there are plenty of the crew

who would love a piece of the H.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(SNICKERING)

- Not you as well.
- Arabella's meant to be with me.

So you and I must settle things.

Come on, then.

- You're sure you want to do this?
- Uh-huh.

Tyrannosaur v Triceratops,
or Regency Dandies?

Dandies, please.

I must have satisfaction.

- Do we have to do the stupid voices?
- I insist, sir.

well, if we must, we must.

En garde.

- Ha!
- Ha!

Hal

Ha-ha!

He's good. He's very, very good.

- Do you submit, sir?
- well, I...

I would, my dear fellow,
only I've written a patch.

Gun.

And I missed.

And it's a period flintlock.
Just the one bullet.

Hal

(VINE LAUGHING)

Just a sword. A sword!
Rocket launcher. Particle cannon.

Canon attac...

(GROANING)

I am undone.

You've won. She's all yours.

Just take care of her, okay?

For the help you gave me
defeating the Evil Wizards of Bagvik,

I Captain Helix, hereby name you

the Teen Time Mystery Solvers.

Now, get off with you.

Go and have your own
intergalactic space adventures.

(LAUGHING)

It's a spin-off too far.

Father always wanted a boy.

- What?
- Father always wanted a boy.

Please. Continue.

Once, I laid out a tea party
for my dollies,

and he promised to come,
but he never came.

- Pig.
- Just 'cause a war broke out.

(SCOFFING)

- Just let it all out.
- He never thought I was good enough.

Before I go to uni,

could you teach me
what it's like to be in Space Force?

- Yes, I can.
- Teach me from the very beginning.

The very beginning.

Lord, it was a long time ago.
Um, let me think, well...

Day One is about wearing name badges
and finding out where the bogs are.

And then,
there's a seminar about pensions.

Day Two is trust exercises, then...
Then coffee on the little...

when do you learn
how to fly a little ship?

(SIGHS)

what a hungry young mind.

Week Five.

We'll do that.

Okay, down into second.

Remember your auxiliaries. Good.

All right. Altitude thrusters.
No, thrusters, thrusters. That's fine.

Good. And pull over on the left.

And power down.

- Smashing. How do you think you did?
- Don't know.

Well, I think you can give yourself
a little pat on the back.

Jolly well done.

- You ready for the next level?
- Okay.

Okay. Good. Grasp the control ball.

Okay.

All right. Now, just edge out
very gently, all right?

Ooh! Just remember it's a simulation,
so there's no need to panic.

And now claim the lane
when there's a gap.

Claim the lane. Claim the lane.
That's nice.

All right? Whoa!

He cut you up! Move, give me that.

I'll show you. Picking on a little girl
on her driving lesson, are you?

You like that? How'd you like this?
How'd you like that?

Oh!

COMPUTER: Vessel destroyed.
Odds of survival, 2%.

That's enough for today, isn't it?

You're tired, you're tired.

No! Emergency! Emergency! Everybody up!

Emergency! Emergency!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- It's Arabella!

I was going to tell her I won her
in a fight, but now she's gone.

She can't just go, she'd need a shuttle,

and only officers have
the codes to the shuttle...

Jeffers!

I beat him. I beat him! I stabbed him!

We need to find her quick, or we're all
in a lot of trouble, all right?

Hey, Vine, I want you to
hold it together, yeah?

Relax.

For goodness sake, don't think
about the two of them having it off.

No!

No!

Sandstrom, power up engines
one to eight.

We've got a lot of space to search
and very little time.

Ah, Jeffers.

What to do about Jeffers, eh, Sandstrom?

A willful anarchist.

And yet he did something
I could never do.

Abandoned his duty for

feelings.

Oh, Sandstrom.

Sandy.

I can't tell you how many times

I've studied your manual.

You're so

efficient.

Do you think you and I...

No, of course not.

There, that's fixed
your digi-plasma thing. Ah! What news?

We just searched Jeffers' room.

It was like a bomb hit a landfill
and a pig went to live there.

Found this. Directions to
the Pleasure World of Syphabo.

- Then with your permission, Commander...
- Yep.

Mr Vine, set course for Syphabo.

- Sandstrom, full power.
- I love you.

(LAUGHING) She didn't say that.

And they've got these surgery bars

where you can change your gender
for the whole evening.

Want to try the other way around? Huh?

We're not going to Syphabo,
I changed course.

We're going to find the Engulfers.

Yeah, nice one. You're gonna
love Syphabo. Absolutely love it.

It's like a seven deadly sins
pick and mix.

But mainly lust.

You don't mean that, do you?

They mean us no harm.
That's what you said.

Yeah, but that was yesterday,
before I slept with you.

That was yesterme.

Not all humans are murderers.
we'll show them that.

- Okay. It's not a good...
- Uh!

Daddy will enjoy having you killed.
He may even do it himself.

You little...

(FORCED COUGHING)

Camden Lock. Camden Lock.
Help. SOS, all of that.

We're going towards the Engulfers.
She's taken advantage of me.

I'm quite hurt. I feel used.

Can you pick me up, please?

Come and rescue me.

- York, locate the source of...
- I have it, Commander.

...signal. Vine, plot a course.

- Don't know if I want to.
- Eh?

I said I don't know if I want to.

All right, we won't bother, then.

It don't really matter, does it?
Probably only be a little firing squad.

Oi! I Count the lines!

This is going to be beautiful, Carl.

Hello?

Hello?

We don't want to hurt you,
we just want to talk.

what do Engulfers like to talk about?

Well, I'm sure I don't know.

What A levels did you do?

I did Maths and Further Maths.
It was such a mare.

I can't believe I just said that.
You don't do A levels.

You're a tube of energy. Um...

What sort of bands do you like?

How old are you? I'm 19.

It's not easy being 19.

People think you're one thing,
but really you're something else.

Do you know how that feels?

It can see us.

(ALARM BLARING)

Pulse weapons primed, Commander.

York, wait.

Hello.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

HENDERSON: She's talking to them.

No one's ever done that before.
I was wrong, York.

Maybe I've been wrong about
a lot of things.

Maybe it takes one brave,
foolhardy girl to show...

Oh, and it's eaten them. York!

(SIGHS)

That's a shame,
because I had a good bit about how

she was the student, but we were
the ones who had a lesson to learn.

- A crowning irony, Commander.
- Yeah. Yeah, it would have been.

Reigal University, this is
HMS Camden Lock requesting docking.

Request granted.

"Thus we can see that the Leeds Crater
became a celebrity landfill

"and a man-pansy sanctuary."
That should get her off to a good start.

- C+.
- That's not a C+. How rude to say.

Hello. Hey.

It's over between us.

- What?
- Don't pretend you don't know.

- See you, then.
- Excuse me. Aren't you forgetting

to say something to the Commander?
"Thank you for saving my life."

- Something of that sort.
- Hey, it... Teal.

- Ta.
- Oh, that's just rude.

We've seen a lot of crazy aliens
on our travels,

but maybe young people are
the weirdest aliens of them all.

Brown Sea Mollusc Men,
they're quite odd.

Yeah, the Flaming Jockeys of Tatara,
they're very weird.

The suicide trout of Tantalus B,
they're quite peculiar.

- I'm making a point.
- What about the speaking toes of...