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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Hell yeah!
3
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That's it? I guess I gotta
pull out the big guns.
4
00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:24,886
Hey! What the hell do
you think you're doing?
5
00:00:24,887 --> 00:00:29,120
Huh? Fishing, dumbass! I'm
Firecracker Jim, God damn it!
6
00:00:29,121 --> 00:00:31,334
Fishing? With dynamite?
7
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Yeah. You signed the damn permit.
8
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I need to start reading those things.
9
00:00:37,039 --> 00:00:41,016
Don't worry. I'm an explosives expert.
10
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Oops.
11
00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:43,974
Shit!
12
00:01:02,027 --> 00:01:05,627
Oh, my God! It's a miracle!
13
00:01:05,777 --> 00:01:10,817
You're damn right it
is. I can touch my Peter!
14
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âªBrickleberry!
15
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âªBrickleberry!
16
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We're all gonna miss Edith.
17
00:01:24,713 --> 00:01:28,197
I feel so lucky that I got to
know my great-great-grandmother.
18
00:01:28,198 --> 00:01:29,628
Thank you all for coming. I know...
19
00:01:29,629 --> 00:01:34,669
Wait, wait, wait. I'd
like to say a few words.
20
00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:38,877
Edith was very special to me.
21
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Every time we made sweet love was
like our first time, at least for her.
22
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:46,621
- She had Alzheimer's.
- Who the [Bleep] is this guy?
23
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:48,671
She used to love my poetry.
24
00:01:48,672 --> 00:01:50,948
Here's one more for you, Edith.
25
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Edith was a little racist.
26
00:01:53,277 --> 00:01:56,019
She said she did not like black faces.
27
00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:59,530
But I had a black part that
she loved with her heart,
28
00:01:59,531 --> 00:02:04,131
and that part broke
her hip in five places.
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Beautiful. Just beautiful.
30
00:02:10,426 --> 00:02:11,885
I'm sorry, Denzel.
31
00:02:11,886 --> 00:02:14,189
Looks like you're taking
Edith's death pretty hard, huh?
32
00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:16,270
What? No. She was 112 years old.
33
00:02:16,271 --> 00:02:19,861
That bitch should've
been dead 30 years ago.
34
00:02:19,862 --> 00:02:22,788
I'm sad because I made love
to the oldest woman on Earth.
35
00:02:22,789 --> 00:02:25,540
I've done it all now.
Where do I go from here?
36
00:02:25,541 --> 00:02:27,461
Hell?
37
00:02:28,791 --> 00:02:30,794
So, what's this big, important news?
38
00:02:30,795 --> 00:02:33,595
Yeah, Woody, what are we doing... uh!
39
00:02:33,596 --> 00:02:35,456
Yes!
40
00:02:39,278 --> 00:02:41,991
Oh, my God. She's completely healed.
41
00:02:41,992 --> 00:02:43,637
And my rash is gone.
42
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I wonder if it cures bitch.
43
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I think my hymen just grew back.
44
00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:52,613
Don't worry. It'll be
gone after happy hour.
45
00:02:52,614 --> 00:02:55,372
Rangers, old Woody has
discovered a miracle.
46
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As you can see, this lake cures any
ailment, from the common cold to cancer.
47
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,487
You could have just told us.
48
00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:03,124
Yeah, sure, but this way was more fun.
49
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,716
How were you sure it would work?
50
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,238
Connie could have... uh!
51
00:03:07,239 --> 00:03:08,796
I could get used to this.
52
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,864
There must be a scientific explanation.
53
00:03:10,865 --> 00:03:12,533
Yeah, asshole, there is.
54
00:03:12,534 --> 00:03:15,402
I was chosen by God to heal the sick.
55
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,905
And another reason
not to believe in God.
56
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,943
The Lord works in mysterious ways,
and right now, he wants me to be rich.
57
00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:24,611
Sick people, lost souls,
deep pockets, blah blah blah.
58
00:03:24,612 --> 00:03:27,283
Religion equals money! Now,
we've got a lot of work to do.
59
00:03:27,284 --> 00:03:29,650
Work? You were supposed to
take me snowboarding today.
60
00:03:29,651 --> 00:03:31,652
Sorry. No time, Cubbykins.
61
00:03:31,653 --> 00:03:36,657
Daddy is God's prophet now,
and I do plan to profit.
62
00:03:36,658 --> 00:03:39,014
Yeah. Another scam that'll
blow up in your face.
63
00:03:39,015 --> 00:03:41,459
I want to shred the
slopes like Shaun White.
64
00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:43,430
He gets lots of ass for an ugly woman.
65
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,400
Shred the slope? You've
never even seen snow.
66
00:03:46,401 --> 00:03:48,069
Wait. You've never seen snow?
67
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,938
Could somebody explain to the
diversity hire that bears hibernate?
68
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,308
That means sleep for a long time, Denzel,
something you should be familiar with.
69
00:03:54,309 --> 00:03:55,777
Take it easy on Denzel.
70
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,845
He's had a rough day... uh!
71
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,777
What's wrong, Denzel?
72
00:03:59,778 --> 00:04:02,850
Ever since I was a
little boy, I had a dream.
73
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:05,719
And then, I realized that dream.
74
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:06,921
And now...
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00:04:06,922 --> 00:04:08,842
Shit!
76
00:04:08,856 --> 00:04:10,892
Sorry, I couldn't listen
to any more of that.
77
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God, this would be so much more
satisfying if that lake wasn't there.
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00:04:13,695 --> 00:04:16,715
Connie, Steve, go round
up every sick, gullible,
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emotionally needy, dumbass,
lonely loser with a bank account.
80
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:22,715
Denzel, Ethel, take Malloy
up the mountain to snowboard.
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00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:24,638
- Stat!
- So, that's it?
82
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,230
You're gonna exploit this lake?
83
00:04:26,231 --> 00:04:29,482
Exploit the lake and help
the sick and disabled.
84
00:04:29,483 --> 00:04:34,148
Imagine what they'll do
with a new lease on life.
85
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Oh, my God!
86
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Honey, ever since I blew my arms and
legs off, I've been dying to do this.
87
00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:44,899
Oh! Oh, Lord!
88
00:04:45,627 --> 00:04:47,777
- Oh! Oh, God, yeah.
- Mmm! Mmm, oh!
89
00:04:47,778 --> 00:04:50,698
Oh! Oh, Jim! Oh, Lord!
90
00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:53,459
Oh! Oh, Jim! Oh!
91
00:04:58,004 --> 00:05:00,674
Damn. Malloy, are you really
gonna use all this junk?
92
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,643
Are you really gonna bitch
the whole way up this mountain?
93
00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:04,478
All right, almost there...
94
00:05:04,479 --> 00:05:06,180
You spoiled little shit.
95
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,816
- Little what'd you say?
- I said, "nice hat."
96
00:05:08,817 --> 00:05:11,397
Oh, thank you.
97
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,770
Okay, we're here.
98
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:16,111
Watch this.
99
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:19,259
All right. I can't snowboard.
100
00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:21,162
And I can't stand
this white, cold stuff.
101
00:05:21,163 --> 00:05:22,804
Uh, that's snow.
102
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This is snow? You should've told me!
103
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,298
It sucks! Let's get out of here.
104
00:05:26,299 --> 00:05:28,673
That's it? A five-hour hike for that?
105
00:05:28,674 --> 00:05:34,574
No, uh-uh. We ain't leaving this spot
till you build a snowman or some shit.
106
00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:38,316
Guys, I found some rope.
107
00:05:38,317 --> 00:05:44,217
You'll probably want to hang
yourself before you freeze to death.
108
00:05:45,324 --> 00:05:49,104
All right, this isn't so hard.
109
00:05:49,221 --> 00:05:52,881
Praise Jesus and good morning!
110
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:57,421
We'd like to tell you
about Miracle Lake.
111
00:05:57,422 --> 00:05:58,890
Praise jes...
112
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,591
Praise... prai...
113
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:03,394
- Praise Jesus, and good mor...
- Let me stop you right there.
114
00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:04,896
We're Scientologists.
115
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:06,564
Come on in. We'll tell you about it.
116
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:09,333
Oh, no, scientology is
only for the weak-minded.
117
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,981
We're not falling for that.
118
00:06:10,982 --> 00:06:13,304
I can't believe we're
Scientologists now.
119
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:16,217
Don't worry, I'm sure we
can quit any time we want.
120
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:17,828
What the hell are you doing here?
121
00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:20,511
We're here to spread our
message of peace and love.
122
00:06:20,512 --> 00:06:21,750
Oh, no, you don't!
123
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:27,651
We're spreading our message of
peace and love, you [Bleep]suckers!
124
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"Abraham begat Isaac,
Isaac begat Jacob."
125
00:06:33,912 --> 00:06:35,877
Woody "be-gatting" a headache!
126
00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:40,247
God! Why the hell did
you write this gibberish?
127
00:06:40,248 --> 00:06:42,834
Oh, hey, Malloy.
Where's Ethel and Denzel?
128
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,402
Freezing to death in an ice cave.
129
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,602
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ice cave, that's nice.
130
00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:48,420
Good morning, brothers and sisters!
131
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- You suck!
- Okay.
132
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,445
Welcome to the Miracle
Lake Church of God,
133
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:56,698
his holy mistress Mary, and
their love child, the baby Jesus.
134
00:06:56,699 --> 00:06:59,643
Please put your praying hands together!
135
00:06:59,644 --> 00:07:03,322
And welcome to the stage God's BFF...
136
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,377
Reverend Woody!
137
00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,078
Amen! Hallelujah!
138
00:07:10,895 --> 00:07:15,479
Miracles? Oh, brothers and
sisters, have I seen miracles!
139
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:21,339
Like when, uh... shit, uh, like when
Moses turned, uh, fish into wine.
140
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:25,109
Or like when the Holy Ghost
gave birth to Adam and Eve.
141
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:27,750
Who's with me?
142
00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,561
Hey, I didn't write this crap, okay?
143
00:07:30,562 --> 00:07:34,996
The point is, this lake before
you is the greatest miracle of all.
144
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,848
Well, what do we have here?
145
00:07:36,849 --> 00:07:38,789
- I'm blind.
- I can see that.
146
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,629
I'm not blind.
147
00:07:40,630 --> 00:07:45,296
Now, what can I do you for?
Fix your bum knee or something?
148
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:48,125
Okay, okay. You don't
have to get an attitude.
149
00:07:48,126 --> 00:07:52,686
By the power of
Grayskull, alakazam! Poom!
150
00:07:56,175 --> 00:08:00,555
It's a miracle! I can see! I can see!
151
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,152
But I can't swim.
152
00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:10,255
Oh, my God, I've got to start
getting the money up front.
153
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,790
All right, I'm in.
154
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:15,360
Jesus saves, but he doesn't trust banks.
155
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:18,181
Cash only, people.
156
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,441
This is by far the
best idea I've ever had.
157
00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:23,949
What? Your idea?
158
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:27,013
But this is small potatoes.
Real evangelists make big money.
159
00:08:27,014 --> 00:08:29,572
I'll whip you into shape.
160
00:08:29,573 --> 00:08:32,336
In the beginning, God
created heaven and heaven.
161
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,278
Ow!
162
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,821
Earth! You hesitated.
163
00:08:34,822 --> 00:08:36,463
Real evangelists know the Bible front...
164
00:08:36,464 --> 00:08:37,641
To back.
165
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,102
Jesus Christ!
166
00:08:42,223 --> 00:08:44,683
Good. Crying on command.
That's lesson two.
167
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:46,217
Now let's cover showmanship.
168
00:08:46,218 --> 00:08:48,198
Dance!
169
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:51,387
Faster!
170
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:55,945
Enough! Even God rested
on the fourth day!
171
00:08:55,946 --> 00:08:58,346
Ow! Seventh!
172
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,191
Where are we?
173
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:05,601
We fell into some kind of ice cavern.
174
00:09:05,602 --> 00:09:09,469
This must have been a
glacier, frozen over years ago.
175
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:11,870
Oh, my God.
176
00:09:12,687 --> 00:09:15,772
That looks like a Neanderthal
woman frozen in ice.
177
00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:19,144
She must be at least 400,000 years old.
178
00:09:19,145 --> 00:09:20,844
Uh, that's more than 112, right?
179
00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,129
Yeah. First off, we've got to... hey!
180
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,477
What are you doing?
181
00:09:24,478 --> 00:09:27,340
Oh, I'm [Bleep] this bitch. [Taps ice]
182
00:09:27,341 --> 00:09:29,784
Lights go up.
183
00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:31,163
Cue the music.
184
00:09:31,164 --> 00:09:33,804
Cue the blacks.
185
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:38,653
âªLet me tell you a little
story about this here lake.
186
00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:40,602
âªTalking about Miracle Lake.
187
00:09:40,603 --> 00:09:45,159
âªMichael J. Fox jumped
in now he don't shake.
188
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,284
âªTalking about Miracle Lake.
189
00:09:47,285 --> 00:09:52,198
âªWe got Stephen Hawking,
walking, and talking.
190
00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:53,541
âªYeah!
191
00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:55,126
âªMiracle Lake.
192
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,009
âªMiracle Lake.
193
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,401
âªMiracle Lake.
194
00:09:58,402 --> 00:10:01,737
âªIf you got cancer,
this lake's the answer.
195
00:10:01,738 --> 00:10:02,834
âªMiracle Lake.
196
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:06,698
âªYou got Crohn's disease,
well put your mind at ease.
197
00:10:06,699 --> 00:10:07,994
âªMiracle Lake.
198
00:10:07,995 --> 00:10:11,838
âªIf you've got glaucoma,
well make yourself at home.
199
00:10:11,839 --> 00:10:13,049
âªMiracle Lake.
200
00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:16,700
âªThrombosis, cirrhosis, it
will change your prognosis.
201
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:17,858
âªMiracle Lake.
202
00:10:17,859 --> 00:10:21,731
âªYou've got irritable
bowel, jump in, grab a towel.
203
00:10:21,732 --> 00:10:22,804
âªMiracle Lake.
204
00:10:22,805 --> 00:10:26,165
âªIf you have leukemia...
205
00:10:26,344 --> 00:10:29,344
Bulimia? "Emphysemia"?
206
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:32,114
Screw it! Just jump in!
207
00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:34,755
âªMiracle Lake.
208
00:10:35,471 --> 00:10:36,653
âªMiracle Lake.
209
00:10:36,654 --> 00:10:38,685
âªTake me to the water right now.
210
00:10:38,686 --> 00:10:39,926
âªMiracle Lake.
211
00:10:39,927 --> 00:10:42,019
âªJump on in it's a Miracle.
212
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,401
âªMiracle Lake.
213
00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:45,230
âªYeah, Lord!
214
00:10:45,231 --> 00:10:47,375
âªMiracle Lake.
215
00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:50,316
âªYeah, yeah, yeah!
216
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:52,175
âªUh-huh.
217
00:10:52,176 --> 00:10:55,116
âªYeah, yeah, yeah!
218
00:10:56,212 --> 00:10:59,677
I can't believe we made the greatest
archaeological find of all time,
219
00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:01,143
and you just want to bang it.
220
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:04,379
- Yeah. What's wrong with that?
- Everything, you freaking weirdo!
221
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:06,591
And, in case you didn't
notice, we're trapped.
222
00:11:06,592 --> 00:11:08,812
We could die in here! Don't you get it?
223
00:11:08,813 --> 00:11:11,319
Oh, I'm about to get it. No condoms.
224
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,455
Where'd you get all this stuff?
225
00:11:13,456 --> 00:11:17,459
Oh, I never leave home
without my emergency sex pack.
226
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:22,140
Excuse me. I got
business to take care of.
227
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:26,700
Now, baby, I know you probably
feeling a little jetlagged
228
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:30,647
by traveling 400,000 years into
the future, so let me catch you up.
229
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,339
Dinosaurs are dead,
we landed on the moon,
230
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:36,778
and they made a sequel to Dirty
Dancing called Havana Nights.
231
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,580
Now let's get down to business.
232
00:11:38,581 --> 00:11:41,283
I'm gonna make you feel
right at home, girl.
233
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:44,464
Oh, yabba dabba do me!
234
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:49,441
Got it! Not a Flintstones fan.
235
00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:52,561
Hey, where are the key lights?
236
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:53,961
Careful with the stained glass.
237
00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:56,565
Come on, people, TV crews
are covering this live.
238
00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:58,785
Just think of how much
more money we'll make
239
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:04,105
when millions of people see firsthand
what a gentle, godly man I really am.
240
00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:06,074
Who's that Dick on a stick?
241
00:12:06,075 --> 00:12:10,111
I wanted a blue-eyed
Jesus, not a Jew-guy Jesus!
242
00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:12,194
I feel like I'm praying
to my goddamn accountant!
243
00:12:12,195 --> 00:12:14,616
- How much did all this cost?
- I don't know!
244
00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:16,351
A shitload. Ask my accountant.
245
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:20,612
The man is right. It cost a shitload.
246
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,426
I have to apologize for my
behavior a little earlier.
247
00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:26,127
Let's get to know each other.
248
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:28,029
Denzel.
249
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:31,333
- Krog.
- Krog? That's a beautiful name.
250
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,754
Aah! No! Stop! Let me go!
251
00:12:35,211 --> 00:12:37,217
Man, what the hell?
252
00:12:37,218 --> 00:12:38,473
Oh, I see.
253
00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:41,480
Y'all liked it rough
back in the ice age. Okay.
254
00:12:41,481 --> 00:12:43,599
Krog like talking shadow.
255
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,180
That's racist as hell, but I like it.
256
00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,806
Krog give happy cave to you.
257
00:12:48,807 --> 00:12:53,307
Damn! That's some B.C. bush right there.
258
00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:55,333
Okay, how do you like it?
259
00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:57,836
Maybe we start out
Missionary, and then...
260
00:12:57,837 --> 00:12:59,170
Oh!
261
00:12:59,171 --> 00:13:00,772
Whoa! Take it easy! Take it easy!
262
00:13:00,773 --> 00:13:02,507
Aah! Aah! Oh, no!
263
00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:05,351
Slow up! It don't bend that way!
264
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:09,554
Ah! That was wonderful, baby. I
wish I could stay here forever.
265
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,697
Denzel, I made it to the top!
266
00:13:11,698 --> 00:13:13,918
Gotta go!
267
00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:18,422
Yep, that's right, Guinness
Book of World Records!
268
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,391
400,000 years old.
269
00:13:20,392 --> 00:13:23,282
Herman, Paddy, Liam! A new world record!
270
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:25,620
Oldest white woman
[Bleep] by a black man!
271
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,661
Hooray!
272
00:13:28,848 --> 00:13:31,728
Whew! That's done.
273
00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:34,000
What? What are you doing here?
274
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:37,009
Krog love. We mate for life.
275
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:40,544
What you talking about, Krog?
276
00:13:40,545 --> 00:13:44,935
My chillins, if you want
to heal, you've got to give.
277
00:13:44,936 --> 00:13:46,858
You gotta give till it hurts!
278
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,559
You gotta give until you say, "ow!"
279
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,227
Your kids don't need Christmas.
280
00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:54,284
The Devil made up Christmas!
281
00:13:54,285 --> 00:13:59,066
What's a college education
got on spiritual rejuvenation?
282
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:02,773
Ooh, all material things are evil!
283
00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:06,936
Except for the Jesus
jet, which is awesome!
284
00:14:06,937 --> 00:14:11,677
Oh, brothers and sisters,
it's healing time!
285
00:14:12,162 --> 00:14:14,520
Who's first?
286
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,277
Me, me! Pick me!
287
00:14:16,278 --> 00:14:17,445
We've got a harelip here.
288
00:14:17,446 --> 00:14:19,760
I repeat, a harelip.
This guy is a gold mine.
289
00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:21,328
A hilarious gold mine.
290
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:23,730
And what is your name, my son?
291
00:14:23,731 --> 00:14:25,132
Menjamin Mippman.
292
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:27,301
His name is Cinnamon Biscuit.
293
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:30,398
By the power vested in me by God!
294
00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:33,006
And Mel Gibson's movies!
295
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:36,487
I now pronounce you healed!
296
00:14:38,329 --> 00:14:43,753
- Oh, did it nerk?
- What the...? You're healed again!
297
00:14:43,754 --> 00:14:45,424
Did it nerk nat nime?
298
00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:48,861
Heal, heal, you
harelipped son of a bitch!
299
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,782
Heal!
300
00:14:53,229 --> 00:14:56,113
Uh, Cinnamon, you okay?
301
00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:59,534
Mr. Biscuits? Mr. Biscuits!
302
00:15:01,336 --> 00:15:04,571
Oh, great, it worked that
time. My harelip is gone.
303
00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:06,620
See? I can speak normal now.
304
00:15:06,621 --> 00:15:09,311
I don't sound ridiculous no more.
305
00:15:09,312 --> 00:15:12,539
Praise Jesus! Another miracle!
306
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:14,849
He stole our money! Get him!
307
00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:15,883
Crucify him!
308
00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:18,018
- He's a fraud!
- He's evil!
309
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:19,553
- String him up!
- What are you doing?
310
00:15:19,554 --> 00:15:21,021
Hey! No!
311
00:15:21,022 --> 00:15:22,223
- Crucify him!
- Come on, man!
312
00:15:22,224 --> 00:15:24,558
- Kill him!
- People, please.
313
00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:26,397
Is this any way to treat a man of God?
314
00:15:26,398 --> 00:15:29,354
Yeah, what if they
had done this to Jesus?
315
00:15:29,355 --> 00:15:30,630
Shut the [Bleep] up, Steve.
316
00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:32,880
Reverend Woody just needs
to have a conversation
317
00:15:32,881 --> 00:15:34,835
with his friend and
business partner, God.
318
00:15:34,836 --> 00:15:37,071
I promise the lake will be
up and running in no time.
319
00:15:37,072 --> 00:15:42,142
The most important thing to
remember is, no one needs a refund.
320
00:15:42,143 --> 00:15:44,111
Can we at least stone his ass?
321
00:15:44,112 --> 00:15:46,747
I don't see why not. Ten
bucks a rock sound fair?
322
00:15:46,748 --> 00:15:49,984
You know, this is not... ow! Ow! Hey!
323
00:15:49,985 --> 00:15:53,465
Whoa! Whoa! Gaah! Hey! Ooh!
324
00:15:57,574 --> 00:16:03,474
Now, Krog, I like you, but, uh, I'm not
really ready for a serious relationship.
325
00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:07,401
What are these rocks and bones for?
326
00:16:07,402 --> 00:16:10,310
Wait, are you moving your stuff in?
327
00:16:10,311 --> 00:16:13,240
- What are you doing to my walls?
- Krog redecorate.
328
00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:16,026
What the hell is this shit? A
stick man fighting a buffalo?
329
00:16:16,027 --> 00:16:19,056
- I gotta get some air.
- You not go.
330
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:21,440
You never leave Krog.
331
00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:24,741
Are you happy now, Dick?
332
00:16:30,425 --> 00:16:32,764
I don't want to do this anymore, Malloy.
333
00:16:32,765 --> 00:16:35,270
Those people are monsters.
334
00:16:35,271 --> 00:16:39,142
Hey, this money train ain't
stopping. Now, try again.
335
00:16:39,143 --> 00:16:42,900
Oh, God, please return
the power to this lake...
336
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,800
For the sick people.
337
00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:47,354
- And for the money.
- He knows about the money, Malloy!
338
00:16:47,355 --> 00:16:49,486
God! Can you hear me, God?
339
00:16:49,487 --> 00:16:51,376
Yes, Woody, I can.
340
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:54,511
- You're not God.
- No, but I do play him for a living.
341
00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:58,215
Anyway, where's this Miracle Lake
I've heard about? I could use a dip.
342
00:16:58,216 --> 00:17:00,427
I've got the most
bothersome case of penis pox.
343
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:03,987
Well, this used to be Miracle
Lake, but she don't work no more.
344
00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:06,281
Oh, you don't want to go in that lake.
345
00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:08,630
Why, that's where I dump
all my medical waste.
346
00:17:08,631 --> 00:17:09,863
Medical waste?
347
00:17:09,864 --> 00:17:12,447
So that's the reason
this lake had powers?
348
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,616
Why the hell did you dump
medical waste in there anyway?
349
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,684
Well, you did sign this permit.
350
00:17:17,685 --> 00:17:22,296
Whew! I gotta stop getting
drunk and signing permits.
351
00:17:22,297 --> 00:17:24,827
How's it going, Captain Caveman?
352
00:17:24,828 --> 00:17:26,675
Not good. Krog's crazy.
353
00:17:26,676 --> 00:17:28,462
She had me locked in my cabin for days.
354
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:31,418
I had to distract her with a crudely
carved wheel and jump out the window.
355
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:34,217
Wow, I can't believe
thawing out and making love
356
00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:37,324
to a 400,000-year-old
Neanderthal didn't work out.
357
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:39,226
It looked so good on paper.
358
00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:40,497
Ethel, you've got to help me!
359
00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:43,421
Well, I do have three ex-boyfriends
who work at the Natural History Museum.
360
00:17:43,422 --> 00:17:46,432
Well, four if you count the janitor.
I'm sure they'd take her off your hands.
361
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,428
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
362
00:17:47,429 --> 00:17:49,936
Are they gonna do a bunch of
crazy-ass E.T. experiments on her?
363
00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:54,437
- Probably.
- Good, [Bleep] that bitch up.
364
00:18:05,236 --> 00:18:08,862
There she is! A living,
breathing Neanderthal.
365
00:18:08,863 --> 00:18:12,597
We can't be too careful.
She looks strong.
366
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:14,398
Uh!
367
00:18:16,197 --> 00:18:17,520
Wait, wait, back up.
368
00:18:17,521 --> 00:18:21,755
So you're telling me that it was medical
waste that gave this lake its power?
369
00:18:21,756 --> 00:18:24,925
- So it would appear.
- Well, there's only one thing to do.
370
00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:27,127
- Tell people the truth.
- Dump in more medical waste.
371
00:18:27,128 --> 00:18:29,996
Yeah. What the hell was
I thinking? The truth.
372
00:18:29,997 --> 00:18:32,545
Don't look at me,
fellows. I'm fresh out.
373
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:36,570
But I do keep a meticulous inventory
of my illegal dumping for tax purposes.
374
00:18:36,571 --> 00:18:37,375
Good thinking.
375
00:18:37,376 --> 00:18:43,136
If you recreate the batch, it
should have the same effect.
376
00:19:04,808 --> 00:19:05,532
Aah!
377
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:08,502
Where you been? Krog worried sick.
378
00:19:08,503 --> 00:19:10,058
Oh, what are you doing here?
379
00:19:10,059 --> 00:19:12,439
You're supposed to be stuffed
in a museum or some shit.
380
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,496
- What happened?
- Amazing news today.
381
00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:17,195
A prehistoric ice woman was
found in a National Park.
382
00:19:17,196 --> 00:19:18,561
Oh, eeh!
383
00:19:18,562 --> 00:19:22,745
Scientists plan to do a bunch of
crazy-ass E.T., experiments on her.
384
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,551
Uh, I'm sorry, baby.
385
00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:26,791
Oh, how about I make you a fancy dinner?
386
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:29,623
I'll grab the Kool-Aid.
You grab the fish sticks.
387
00:19:29,624 --> 00:19:31,964
Okay, baby.
388
00:19:34,963 --> 00:19:36,581
- Let me out! Let me out!
- Don't worry.
389
00:19:36,582 --> 00:19:38,707
I'll thaw you out when I'm
ready for a serious relationship
390
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:44,288
in about 400,000 years, you
crazy-ass cro-magnon bitch.
391
00:19:44,896 --> 00:19:47,116
Kill him!
392
00:19:48,526 --> 00:19:53,206
Dump it! Hurry, dump
it! Dump it! Dump it!
393
00:19:58,702 --> 00:20:00,175
It's working.
394
00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:03,596
It's working! We're back!
395
00:20:04,849 --> 00:20:08,339
Hear me ye sick and dying losers!
396
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,465
Miracle Lake is back in business!
397
00:20:11,466 --> 00:20:13,611
Let's do a mass healing!
398
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:17,272
Everybody in! The waters fine!
399
00:20:19,414 --> 00:20:20,597
Well we did it Doc.
400
00:20:20,598 --> 00:20:24,839
I can't believe we were able to
recreate your medical waste exactly.
401
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,680
What are the odds we'd find a three
pound two ounce Armenian fetus?
402
00:20:27,681 --> 00:20:30,999
Armenian fetus? Oh drat
my sloppy handwriting.
403
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,867
That says two pound
three ounce Iranian fetus.
404
00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:38,848
Iranian, Armenian, what
difference could it make?
405
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,471
- Oh.
- It's a miracle!
406
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:44,567
What did you do? All these people are...
407
00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:48,160
- Malloy, it doesn't heal people anymore.
- Yeah, I know.
408
00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:54,061
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Www.Addic7ed.Com.
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