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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Have you ever seen a more beautiful sight?
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00:00:07,222 --> 00:00:09,057
No, I haven't.
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00:00:09,124 --> 00:00:11,492
I bet it smells like Strawberry Shortcake.
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00:00:11,493 --> 00:00:12,927
Mmm.
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The majestic Philadelphia Eagle.
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They're almost extinct, because...
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Molloy! What are you doing?
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00:00:19,848 --> 00:00:22,617
Ooh, I'm sorry, "timber".
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00:00:22,618 --> 00:00:25,954
You may have just wiped
out an entire species!
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00:00:25,955 --> 00:00:31,415
You can't just cut down trees
inside of a national...
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Whoa. Smells more like
strawberry shit-cake.
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Brickleberry 1x10
The Dam Show
Original Air Date on December 04, 2012
14
00:00:40,703 --> 00:00:43,103
Brickleberry!
15
00:00:45,974 --> 00:00:48,209
All right, rangers. I've got exciting news.
16
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:49,276
Oh, let me guess!
17
00:00:49,277 --> 00:00:53,014
Judge Judy is here, and she
buck-ass naked and horny as hell!
18
00:00:53,015 --> 00:00:55,280
No. Today's my birthday.
19
00:00:55,281 --> 00:00:58,452
And tonight's my annual
blow-out party in honor of me!
20
00:00:58,453 --> 00:01:01,455
There will be cake, ice cream, and hookers.
21
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:02,957
Just like my childhood parties.
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00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:05,292
Molloy, you worthless son of a bitch!
23
00:01:05,293 --> 00:01:08,162
Hmm, can you speak up? I cunt hear you.
24
00:01:08,163 --> 00:01:11,733
You made the mother eagle fly off, and
these eggs are completely cracked.
25
00:01:11,734 --> 00:01:13,835
Luckily, Connie had duct tape on her.
26
00:01:13,836 --> 00:01:17,438
Come to think of it, why did you
bring duct tape into the forest?
27
00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:18,840
No reason.
28
00:01:18,841 --> 00:01:21,342
Those trees had to go to make
room for Woody's birthday party.
29
00:01:21,343 --> 00:01:23,510
Malloy here is planning the whole thing.
30
00:01:23,511 --> 00:01:28,349
You are jeopardizing an endangered
species for your stupid birthday party?
31
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:32,153
Hey! All the great leaders throw
themselves extravagant parties.
32
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Hussein, Gaddafi, Kim Jong-il, we all
took a page from Hitler's playbook.
33
00:01:37,025 --> 00:01:40,461
"Self-aggrandizement is how
we reinforce our dominance".
34
00:01:40,462 --> 00:01:42,063
Steve, kiss my ass!
35
00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:44,698
Gladly. Happy Birthday, Sir.
36
00:01:44,699 --> 00:01:46,067
Mwah!
37
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Di... I didn't mean literally!
38
00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:50,731
Ah-ah... but I also didn't say "stop".
39
00:01:50,732 --> 00:01:52,840
- Mwah!
- Ugh, that is so degrading.
40
00:01:52,841 --> 00:01:55,810
Of course it's degrading,
it keeps people in line.
41
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,679
Connie! Wish me Happy Birthday
while you choke yourself!
42
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,182
Happy Birthday, Woody.
43
00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:04,185
- Denzel, you're next.
- Suck my [Bleep], mother[Bleeper].
44
00:02:04,186 --> 00:02:06,520
See, that's...
that's black for "Happy Birthday".
45
00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:09,957
I don't care how many people wish you
Happy Birthday, none of them mean it.
46
00:02:09,958 --> 00:02:13,060
Well, lucky for me, I don't give a shit.
I'd rather be feared than loved.
47
00:02:13,061 --> 00:02:17,265
Well, I don't fear you or love you.
Come on, eggs, let's get out of here.
48
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:18,465
It keeps them warm!
49
00:02:18,466 --> 00:02:22,436
Huh. I always thought
witches' tits were cold.
50
00:02:22,437 --> 00:02:26,040
I need some fireworks for a birthday party,
and I heard you were the best around.
51
00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:27,675
Huh? What?
52
00:02:27,676 --> 00:02:30,838
Yeah, 20 years in the business
and not one accident!
53
00:02:30,839 --> 00:02:33,747
- You know why?
- Hmm, I'm as stumped as you are.
54
00:02:33,748 --> 00:02:37,828
What? Because I'm all about safety!
55
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,288
So what you need, huh?
56
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:44,925
I got bottle rockets, jumping
jacks, m-80s, cocaine.
57
00:02:44,926 --> 00:02:47,862
I'm Firecracker Jim, God damn it! Huh?
58
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:50,631
No, this is kid stuff.
You have anything bigger?
59
00:02:50,632 --> 00:02:54,712
Hell yeah, I do! Hold on a minute!
60
00:02:59,441 --> 00:03:01,361
Sold.
61
00:03:04,046 --> 00:03:05,412
You know what I miss?
62
00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:08,533
- Uh, fingers?
- Yeah.
63
00:03:09,017 --> 00:03:11,152
All right, people, work faster!
64
00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:16,958
Or work slower, because I kinda
want to break in this bullwhip.
65
00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:18,819
Wow.
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00:03:19,769 --> 00:03:22,830
Ow! Jesus Christ, I look like Jesus Christ!
67
00:03:22,831 --> 00:03:24,966
Sorry, Steve, I got distracted.
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00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:28,387
I'll go get a nail claw.
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00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:31,056
Ow!
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00:03:31,057 --> 00:03:32,202
- Connie!
- Ow...
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00:03:32,203 --> 00:03:34,242
Stop wasting nails.
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00:03:34,243 --> 00:03:39,163
Either go for the kill
shot, or knock it off.
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00:03:39,181 --> 00:03:41,249
I know what's going on.
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00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,884
You like that girl.
75
00:03:42,885 --> 00:03:46,698
Either that, or you planning to murder her.
I can't tell, you got those crazy eyes.
76
00:03:46,699 --> 00:03:49,523
Wow. She's way out of my league.
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00:03:49,524 --> 00:03:52,293
Don't sell yourself short.
You're just as nasty as she is.
78
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:55,296
Tell you what, tonight at the party,
I'ma help you get that girl.
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00:03:55,297 --> 00:03:58,032
- You'd really do that?
- Sure, we're friends.
80
00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:00,866
Now, here's the plan.
At the party, I'll distract her.
81
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,935
- You throw her in your trunk.
- What?
82
00:04:02,936 --> 00:04:05,206
I don't want to kill her,
I want to date her.
83
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:09,243
Kill her, date her, either way,
she's getting a gash to the face.
84
00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:11,082
What happened to the wildlife fund?
85
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:13,614
I tried to get cash for an
Incubator, but it was all gone.
86
00:04:13,615 --> 00:04:15,116
Woody said he needed the money.
87
00:04:15,117 --> 00:04:17,418
- For what?
- For that.
88
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Ha ha! I feel like a Pharaoh!
89
00:04:20,322 --> 00:04:23,457
- You look more like a fat-ho.
- Woody, how could you do that?
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00:04:23,458 --> 00:04:25,927
I am trying to save an endangered species.
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00:04:25,928 --> 00:04:29,196
Ugh, those eagles are endangered
because they're weak.
92
00:04:29,197 --> 00:04:31,198
And I got no respect for weak!
93
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- Right, Steve?
- Happy Birthday!
94
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:36,507
Aw, thanks, you weak son of a bitch.
95
00:04:36,508 --> 00:04:40,207
Hey, speaking of bitches, I don't believe
Ethel's wished me a Happy Birthday yet.
96
00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:42,509
- Now say it!
- Screw you!
97
00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:45,579
Okay then, you're on...
administrative leave!
98
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,350
- What the hell does that mean?
- I mean, I am the administrator,
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00:04:48,351 --> 00:04:50,670
and for you to... well, uh...
[bleeping] Leave!
100
00:04:50,671 --> 00:04:52,619
You are a dick, Woody Johnson.
101
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,440
Get back to work!
102
00:05:06,868 --> 00:05:08,970
Great job on the party, little buddy!
103
00:05:08,971 --> 00:05:10,871
So what's in store for my entertainment?
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00:05:10,872 --> 00:05:15,076
Well, after the fireworks Denzel
will be performing a magic show.
105
00:05:15,077 --> 00:05:18,077
Magic? I love magic!
106
00:05:20,983 --> 00:05:24,518
Glorious! Makes me feel
like I'm back in Iraq!
107
00:05:24,519 --> 00:05:26,087
I've gotta go back there one day.
108
00:05:26,088 --> 00:05:29,990
You know I never finished my
necklace made of baby dicks?
109
00:05:29,991 --> 00:05:32,659
Hey, uh, Firecracker Jim,
I think this one's a dud.
110
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,695
Huh? Dud, my ass!
111
00:05:34,696 --> 00:05:39,016
Pour some gasoline on it, it'll light!
112
00:05:40,634 --> 00:05:45,139
I said light the Bengal Fire,
then the Roman Candle, idiot!
113
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:47,600
I'll do it!
114
00:05:53,815 --> 00:05:56,553
- Now's your chance!
- Hi. What can I get you?
115
00:05:56,554 --> 00:05:59,520
Let's play little Dutch
Boy who saved Holland.
116
00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:01,655
You can stick your finger in the dyke.
117
00:06:01,656 --> 00:06:03,124
Ugh.
118
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,059
Well, that was a disaster.
119
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,693
Man, I thought that was a solid line.
120
00:06:06,694 --> 00:06:08,562
Took me all night to come up with that.
121
00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:10,264
Don't worry, I got a backup plan.
122
00:06:10,265 --> 00:06:12,735
You gonna help me do a magic trick.
She'll love it!
123
00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:13,934
Magic trick?
124
00:06:13,935 --> 00:06:16,103
Why not? You're both lesbians, right?
125
00:06:16,104 --> 00:06:17,771
Ain't nothing gayer than magic.
126
00:06:17,772 --> 00:06:19,799
When Woody says he doesn't
care about these birds,
127
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,331
what he's really saying is
that he doesn't care about me.
128
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:25,211
Well, screw him!
Now nothing can keep me here!
129
00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:27,986
Steve, can you be a doll and blow into
this thing so I can start my car?
130
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:30,095
You're drinking again?
131
00:06:30,096 --> 00:06:32,316
What? No.
132
00:06:34,789 --> 00:06:38,259
Come on, Cousin [Bleepers], let's see the
stuff you were saving for the race war.
133
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:40,727
We ain't preparin' for no race war.
134
00:06:40,728 --> 00:06:43,046
Speak for yourself, Bobby, because I am.
135
00:06:43,047 --> 00:06:45,599
He's talking about the
big finale, numbnuts!
136
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,000
This!
137
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,002
Now I'll show you how to
escape from the handcuffs.
138
00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:51,865
Wow. I didn't know you were a magician.
139
00:06:51,866 --> 00:06:55,097
Magician? I ain't no magician.
I'm just black.
140
00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:58,698
Victor, Bravo, Foxtrot, Tango.
141
00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,954
What the... oh, wait, I forgot.
142
00:07:06,955 --> 00:07:10,735
Can you blow into this for us?
143
00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:24,004
Ah!
144
00:07:32,581 --> 00:07:35,382
Help! Ethel! Help!
145
00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:37,684
Woody! Grab hold!
146
00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:39,666
Slipping. Give me your other hand!
147
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,089
I can't, just pull harder!
148
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:44,958
God damn it, who's more important,
me or those [Bleeping] eggs?
149
00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:49,159
- Whoops, you slipped.
- You biiiii...
150
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,864
Iiiii...
151
00:07:55,237 --> 00:07:58,057
You goddamn bitch!
152
00:08:00,932 --> 00:08:04,860
Oh, my God! We're marooned on
an uncharted desert island!
153
00:08:04,861 --> 00:08:07,028
Steve, we're on the hill
by the parking lot.
154
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,064
So, there's...
155
00:08:09,065 --> 00:08:11,023
- There's no smoke monster.
- Damn it.
156
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,295
Oh, just my luck.
157
00:08:12,296 --> 00:08:15,349
The Park goes all Katrina, and
I'm handcuffed to The Superdome.
158
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:18,568
- No offense.
- We lost the key during the flood.
159
00:08:18,569 --> 00:08:21,316
Where's Woody? He'll know what to do.
160
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,073
Guys, Woody didn't make it.
161
00:08:23,074 --> 00:08:26,576
I did my best to save him,
but I guess he was too weak.
162
00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:31,012
And too stupid, and too assholey,
and, you know, too fat to live.
163
00:08:31,013 --> 00:08:32,658
- Oh, my God!
- That's terrible.
164
00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:34,450
Poor guy.
165
00:08:34,451 --> 00:08:36,086
Malloy, you survived!
166
00:08:36,087 --> 00:08:40,647
Barely. Luckily, I found this pontoon boat.
167
00:08:41,859 --> 00:08:43,095
Anybody hungry?
168
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:45,361
I'm kidding. She probably has AIDS.
169
00:08:45,362 --> 00:08:47,663
- Woody's dead.
- Oh!
170
00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:48,698
What's for breakfast?
171
00:08:48,699 --> 00:08:50,907
- Aren't you sad at all?
- Yeah, I'm sad.
172
00:08:50,908 --> 00:08:53,737
And how I grieve is by eating breakfast.
173
00:08:53,738 --> 00:08:56,106
What are we gonna do?
We don't have a leader.
174
00:08:56,107 --> 00:08:57,573
Yes, we do.
175
00:08:57,574 --> 00:09:00,076
Woody always said I was second in charge.
176
00:09:00,077 --> 00:09:01,745
Actually, this is what he said.
177
00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:04,948
In the event of my death, I
want Steve to be in charge.
178
00:09:04,949 --> 00:09:06,116
Ha! You're all [Bleeped]!
179
00:09:06,117 --> 00:09:08,551
You heard what he said. I'm the new leader.
180
00:09:08,552 --> 00:09:10,920
We're behind you 100%, Steve.
181
00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:12,288
Ethel, you can't let this happen!
182
00:09:12,289 --> 00:09:14,891
Relax, Denzel, let Steve play leader.
183
00:09:14,892 --> 00:09:17,927
He couldn't be worse than Woody.
Besides, I need to look after these eggs.
184
00:09:17,928 --> 00:09:21,898
Yes! Trust me, guys, I won't
let it go to my head.
185
00:09:21,899 --> 00:09:25,601
Gather 'round, my people, I
am your new King, Steve!
186
00:09:25,602 --> 00:09:29,906
Together, we will create a new
society called Steveistan! No...
187
00:09:29,907 --> 00:09:31,507
Steveland! That's it.
188
00:09:31,508 --> 00:09:33,476
Now, Stevelanders!
189
00:09:33,477 --> 00:09:37,312
I know you are hungry, so we are
all going to forage for food.
190
00:09:37,313 --> 00:09:40,884
- That sounds like a lot of work.
- The chocolate cowboy is right.
191
00:09:40,885 --> 00:09:43,153
No one makes Jorge forage!
192
00:09:43,154 --> 00:09:45,354
Yeah, maybe we need a new leader!
193
00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:47,791
How about you?
Why, you remind me of a Kennedy.
194
00:09:47,792 --> 00:09:50,526
Only because you're drunk, and I
saw you drowning a woman earlier.
195
00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:52,495
New leader! New leader...
196
00:09:52,496 --> 00:09:55,665
- King Steve sucks!
- Wait, wait, I-I-I was kidding!
197
00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:58,935
No... no one has to work,
just do whatever you want.
198
00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:01,156
No rules!
199
00:10:01,538 --> 00:10:04,707
- Hail to the new regime!
- Rules can suck my ass off!
200
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:07,643
My people love me!
Wait, what are you doing?
201
00:10:07,644 --> 00:10:10,246
We gonna get naked and touch
our dick-eyes together.
202
00:10:10,247 --> 00:10:13,316
Yep. Ain't no rules against it.
203
00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:17,253
If I had to be handcuffed to anybody,
I'm glad it's you, Denzel.
204
00:10:17,254 --> 00:10:18,487
That's nice, Connie.
205
00:10:18,488 --> 00:10:22,658
And of everybody I've been handcuffed
to, I'd say you in the top ten.
206
00:10:22,659 --> 00:10:24,180
Uh-oh.
207
00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:26,371
Do you think there's a
bathroom around here?
208
00:10:26,372 --> 00:10:27,964
Don't even think about it.
209
00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:29,866
I would gnaw right through
my [Bleeping] arm.
210
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,068
- But it hurts!
- Hi, guys.
211
00:10:32,069 --> 00:10:35,011
- Hey, it's Trudy!
- Um... hello.
212
00:10:35,012 --> 00:10:38,641
Hey, you're the girl who used
that dyke-finger line on me.
213
00:10:38,642 --> 00:10:41,477
I just got it. It was hot and clever.
214
00:10:41,478 --> 00:10:43,713
- Really?
- I knew it was gold!
215
00:10:43,714 --> 00:10:46,249
So, uh... you wanna hang out today?
216
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,551
Sure I do! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
217
00:10:48,552 --> 00:10:52,588
Well, actually I got other plans... hey!
218
00:10:52,589 --> 00:10:54,449
Mmm.
219
00:11:15,479 --> 00:11:16,946
See, citizens?
220
00:11:16,947 --> 00:11:21,517
While you were relaxing on the
beach, your leader has found food.
221
00:11:21,518 --> 00:11:24,158
Help yourselves.
222
00:11:24,255 --> 00:11:26,475
Too sour.
223
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:29,158
- Ugh, too sweet.
- Too just right!
224
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:32,695
Guys, we have limited
food, so you may wanna...
225
00:11:32,696 --> 00:11:35,765
I mean, please continue wasting our food!
226
00:11:35,766 --> 00:11:37,466
Whatever makes you happy.
227
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:41,727
No one tells Jorge how to eat apples!
228
00:11:47,878 --> 00:11:51,747
Connie, I want to hear
more of your florid words.
229
00:11:51,748 --> 00:11:53,349
Uh...
230
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:59,188
Even though your face is heinous, I'll
dive into your mouth like Greg Louganis.
231
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:01,824
- Hell yeah!
- Oh, Connie...
232
00:12:01,825 --> 00:12:04,754
Ooh. Normally, I'm a fan
of pigs in a blanket.
233
00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:05,761
Ah!
234
00:12:05,762 --> 00:12:11,367
It cheers my heart to see my huddled
masses shivering around a dying fire.
235
00:12:11,368 --> 00:12:13,102
We're cold! Ain't no firewood.
236
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:16,126
But no one wanted to get firewood.
237
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:18,320
Of course no one wanted to get firewood.
238
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,816
That goes against everything
Steveland stands for.
239
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,814
Oh, God! They're hatching!
240
00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:27,783
The only two known Philadelphia
eagles in existence.
241
00:12:27,784 --> 00:12:32,044
Push! Push, you little orphan bastards!
242
00:12:32,364 --> 00:12:34,623
I'm a mother! Oh!
243
00:12:34,624 --> 00:12:39,162
And my parents said it would never happen
after I played hide the rolling pin.
244
00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:40,896
I was a curious child.
245
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:44,200
Great news, everyone.
I found a rowboat washed up on the beach.
246
00:12:44,201 --> 00:12:46,338
That's great, Steve, we're saved!
247
00:12:46,339 --> 00:12:49,538
Hell yeah we are!
I chopped it up into 100 pieces.
248
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:53,343
Now we'll have firewood for months!
249
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:55,845
Hooray for short-term solutions!
250
00:12:55,846 --> 00:12:59,182
I only wish Woody could see me now.
251
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:01,823
Wherever he is.
252
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,227
Is anyone out there?
253
00:13:11,228 --> 00:13:12,532
Hello?
254
00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,263
Hello?
255
00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:17,166
Please, I can't be alone with my thoughts.
256
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:18,901
I hate my thoughts!
257
00:13:18,902 --> 00:13:20,669
Everyone hates you.
258
00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:22,771
You deserve to die alone.
259
00:13:22,772 --> 00:13:25,352
Who said that?
260
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:28,411
You're not real, damn you!
261
00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:30,179
You're not real.
262
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,948
We're gonna drive you crazy.
263
00:13:32,949 --> 00:13:34,788
Crazy...
264
00:13:34,789 --> 00:13:36,889
Crazy...
265
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,410
What was that?
266
00:13:42,411 --> 00:13:43,956
It's the smoke monster.
267
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:48,926
You know, they really prefer
to be called African-American.
268
00:13:50,927 --> 00:13:52,828
Will the defendant please rise?
269
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:54,529
Done, baby!
270
00:13:54,530 --> 00:13:56,232
Oh! Oh yeah, right there.
271
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:59,636
Yeah baby, I'm all up
in the Judge's chamber!
272
00:13:59,637 --> 00:14:03,772
- Oh, yeah, that's how I like it...
- I know you do!
273
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:05,274
It's okay, it's me.
274
00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:06,942
I know it's you, that's why I'm screaming!
275
00:14:06,943 --> 00:14:10,880
All this time I spent with Connie, it
was your words I fell in love with.
276
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:14,283
- What's going on here?
- Call me, lover.
277
00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:17,353
- Denzel, how could you?
- How could I? She raped me!
278
00:14:17,354 --> 00:14:18,535
Liar!
279
00:14:18,536 --> 00:14:22,004
She was the one person in the world
that liked me, and you ruined it!
280
00:14:22,005 --> 00:14:23,705
I never want to see you again!
281
00:14:23,706 --> 00:14:25,640
Connie, listen to reason.
282
00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:28,477
At least flip me over,
you're road-rashing my dong!
283
00:14:28,478 --> 00:14:31,838
Eat up, my little babies.
284
00:14:32,711 --> 00:14:36,038
You need to grow big and strong
to re-populate the species,
285
00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:38,427
because even though you're
brother and sister today,
286
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:41,497
the day will come when I will
force you to be husband and wife.
287
00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:46,148
- No shame in that.
- No shame in that at all.
288
00:14:46,149 --> 00:14:48,750
Hey, leader! Uh, we're starving!
289
00:14:48,751 --> 00:14:50,952
Yeah, and this here's the last apple.
290
00:14:50,953 --> 00:14:52,654
Ugh! Too applely.
291
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:54,656
It's your job to feed us, King dickhead.
292
00:14:54,657 --> 00:14:57,392
Yeah, King dickhead! Feed us!
293
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:59,094
Wait, am I still the leader?
294
00:14:59,095 --> 00:15:00,996
I say we eat him.
295
00:15:00,997 --> 00:15:04,566
He looks plump and juicy,
like a Thanksgiving rooster!
296
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:06,701
Hey, hey! Hold on, fellas.
297
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:09,037
Cannibalism is illegal and immoral.
298
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,784
But, on the other hand, there
are no rules in Steveland.
299
00:15:12,785 --> 00:15:15,444
No one panic. I have an idea.
300
00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:18,646
We'll just take the rowboat to
civilization, and get some food.
301
00:15:18,647 --> 00:15:21,149
Steve, you idiot.
You chopped up the rowboat.
302
00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:23,118
Okay, I have another idea.
303
00:15:23,119 --> 00:15:25,153
It better not involve a time machine.
304
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,032
I have a third idea!
305
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,077
What? No!
306
00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:30,859
You can't eat my birds!
307
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,304
No, you misunderstood me.
308
00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:36,664
I'm not gonna eat your birds,
I'm gonna feed your birds...
309
00:15:36,665 --> 00:15:37,699
To people.
310
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,968
There's no way in hell!
These are my babies!
311
00:15:39,969 --> 00:15:41,503
Oh, come on!
312
00:15:41,504 --> 00:15:44,606
That's like saying adopted
kids are people's babies.
313
00:15:44,607 --> 00:15:49,144
They're just homeless children
people raise to have sex with.
314
00:15:49,145 --> 00:15:51,779
Enough yip-yap, time to
pluck 'em and [Bleep] 'em.
315
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:53,637
Uh, I-I mean, eat 'em.
316
00:15:53,638 --> 00:15:56,084
Denzel, we're meant to be together.
317
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,419
We're soul mates!
318
00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,087
Look, girl, we ain't happening.
319
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,256
Although it is pretty
cool I flipped a lesbian.
320
00:16:01,257 --> 00:16:04,592
Trudy, he's not that much of a catch.
He hits women.
321
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:07,593
What? I would never!
322
00:16:07,595 --> 00:16:09,831
Connie, that's messed... oh!
323
00:16:09,832 --> 00:16:12,000
Don't make me... ow!
324
00:16:12,001 --> 00:16:15,061
See how you like it.
325
00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:17,072
Damn.
326
00:16:17,073 --> 00:16:18,873
Ow!
327
00:16:20,843 --> 00:16:23,345
So, Steve came through, huh?
328
00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:26,420
Hey, here's a thought, what if we
didn't give in to our impulses today,
329
00:16:26,421 --> 00:16:28,616
and waited until these birds had eggs?
330
00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:30,366
Then we'd never run out of food.
331
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:31,986
Boo! Boo!
332
00:16:31,987 --> 00:16:37,235
You're right, you're right, there will
always be endangered birds to eat.
333
00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:38,820
An entire species wiped out,
334
00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:41,829
just because Steve is too much of
a pussy to stand up to anyone.
335
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,665
Maybe I should have saved Woody's life.
336
00:16:43,666 --> 00:16:45,733
Woody? He's not dead.
337
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:47,430
He's on the other side of
the island going crazy,
338
00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:49,538
- like Tom Hanks in that movie.
- Cast away?
339
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:51,773
No, the one where he thinks
Julia Roberts is attractive.
340
00:16:51,774 --> 00:16:53,608
Did I just do a Charlie Wilson's war joke?
341
00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:55,529
You're goddamn right I did!
342
00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:04,921
Woody?
343
00:17:07,379 --> 00:17:08,779
Woody is dead.
344
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:13,775
The whispers have named me
Second Lieutenant Leakycheeks!
345
00:17:13,776 --> 00:17:16,720
Whoa. You are nuttier than squirrel shit.
346
00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:18,558
I have never felt more alive.
347
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,583
Leakycheeks!
348
00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:21,959
All thanks to the whispers.
349
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,561
You're welcome. Now head-butt that tree.
350
00:17:24,562 --> 00:17:26,898
- All right.
- Why did you do that?
351
00:17:26,899 --> 00:17:29,100
Peanut butter with Jim Belushi.
352
00:17:29,101 --> 00:17:33,337
Okay. Here's the thing, psycho.
We need you back.
353
00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:35,539
Steve has taken charge,
and everything's a mess.
354
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:38,575
- They're gonna eat my eagles.
- Chinese werewolves!
355
00:17:38,576 --> 00:17:41,812
Oh, you can't be serious, you
used to love abusing power!
356
00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:46,277
I have found love. Whee!
Love, I'm surrounded by love!
357
00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:50,054
I got Mr. Crabby and Rock-Rock.
358
00:17:50,055 --> 00:17:52,589
And the whispers. I love you, whispers!
359
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:55,685
Screw you. Pull your hair out.
360
00:17:55,686 --> 00:17:58,161
I'm happy here.
361
00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:02,381
Fine. Good-bye, Lieutenant Cheeks.
If you see Woody, tell him Happy Birthday.
362
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:05,136
Aw, you don't have to say
that shit to Woody anymore.
363
00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:06,627
His tyrant days are over.
364
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:10,013
I'm not saying it because I have to,
I'm saying it because I want to.
365
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:13,013
Yes, he was a cruel,
inconsiderate, racist ass wipe.
366
00:18:13,014 --> 00:18:15,928
But deep down, I considered him to be...
367
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,688
Almost not a complete
lowlife piece of shit.
368
00:18:18,689 --> 00:18:21,724
Wow. That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
369
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,393
I know what you're thinking, Woody.
370
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,561
Don't do it.
371
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,298
It's no use, whispers! I'm a born leader!
372
00:18:28,299 --> 00:18:30,811
And born leaders help their annoying, P.C.,
373
00:18:30,812 --> 00:18:32,494
holier-than-thou co-workers.
374
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:34,204
Woody, come on.
375
00:18:34,205 --> 00:18:37,908
Indian burn your ball sack one last time.
376
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,189
Don't go.
377
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:42,078
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
378
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,014
We want eagle!
379
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,815
We want eagle!
380
00:18:45,816 --> 00:18:47,784
We want eagle!
381
00:18:47,785 --> 00:18:52,045
Do what you do best, Mr. Possum-Gods!
382
00:18:52,323 --> 00:18:55,325
Hey! No one touches those birds.
383
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:57,260
Woody? You're alive!
384
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,727
Back down, Steve. I'm running the show now.
385
00:18:59,728 --> 00:19:01,040
Yes, Sir!
386
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,466
Now, just one minute. Steve is our leader.
387
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:06,002
And we like it that way because,
well, we can walk all over him.
388
00:19:06,003 --> 00:19:07,603
Yeah, we want Steve!
389
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,105
Really guys, it's... it's fine.
390
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,788
Well, that's great, but if anyone wants
to challenge the leader, we all know...
391
00:19:12,789 --> 00:19:15,344
They must fight to the death!
392
00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:16,451
Where are you getting that?
393
00:19:16,452 --> 00:19:18,361
You wrote it in the Steveland constitution.
394
00:19:18,362 --> 00:19:21,157
- Damn it!
- Woody, kill.
395
00:19:21,158 --> 00:19:24,698
Sounds good to me, whispers!
396
00:19:25,378 --> 00:19:29,878
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...
397
00:19:34,365 --> 00:19:37,000
- Go get 'em, Steve!
- I'm rooting for Woody.
398
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,912
- All right. Go get 'em, Woody!
- I'm rooting for Steve.
399
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,439
That does it! I told you what
happened, and you don't believe me.
400
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,274
Save it, Denzel.
401
00:19:44,275 --> 00:19:46,509
Trudy was the one person
I could have loved.
402
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:49,079
She was beautiful, she was kind...
403
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,011
I raped him.
404
00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:51,494
- See?
- And I have chlamydia.
405
00:19:51,495 --> 00:19:52,985
See, I told you... w-w-w-what?
406
00:19:52,986 --> 00:19:55,554
Oh, my God, what an awful skank!
407
00:19:55,555 --> 00:19:57,656
I should have believed you.
408
00:19:57,657 --> 00:19:59,424
I'm sorry she gave you chlamydia.
409
00:19:59,425 --> 00:20:02,594
Nah, don't worry.
I gave her something way worse.
410
00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:04,695
A baby.
411
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:10,702
- I'll kill him later.
- All hail Woody!
412
00:20:10,703 --> 00:20:13,071
Okay, Woody. So you're the new leader.
413
00:20:13,072 --> 00:20:15,439
It doesn't matter, we're
still gonna starve to death.
414
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,209
You people need a lift?
415
00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:20,810
You see, Steve? We're saved.
416
00:20:28,588 --> 00:20:31,823
Time for my babies to leave the nest.
417
00:20:31,824 --> 00:20:33,558
I appreciate you coming with me, Woody.
418
00:20:33,559 --> 00:20:36,161
Well, I can't say I care
about these little suckers.
419
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:37,429
But you do.
420
00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:38,730
And that's good enough for me.
421
00:20:38,731 --> 00:20:40,632
Soar!
422
00:20:40,633 --> 00:20:42,301
I was wrong, Ethel.
423
00:20:42,302 --> 00:20:45,804
Maybe they are strong enough to survive.
424
00:20:45,805 --> 00:20:49,285
I'm Firecracker Jim, God...
425
00:20:52,245 --> 00:20:54,345
Or not.
426
00:20:56,290 --> 00:21:02,290
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