Original subtitles

I'm just picking up from the house. You know how I am.

All of the stuff in here I like to be just perfect.

Helps me sleep at night, you know?

Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.

I definitely wish that I was doing something more fun tonight than just

and picking up from the house.

That's true. I do like to say it a lot, but, you know, I don't think I have much

time.

Yeah, definitely.

You want to hang out tomorrow?

I literally have nothing planned.

I just got to do a few things for work and... Oh, yeah, totally.

I totally forgot that it was Christmas Eve.

Well, maybe the next day?

Right. Christmas Day.

Well, that's cool.

I'll definitely have to see you before New Year's.

Okay.

Happy holidays, I guess.

What the hell are you doing here?

Thank God you're here, Dad.

Wait, it just hit me. You guys actually flew across the entire country and just

showed up at my house?

That's right.

Actually, no. Come here.

Here we are. Great.

God, that thing is old.

Ah, for me, it's funny.

So your mother was... I just need to catch this whole thing on video and make

her happy, okay?

Oh, make her happy?

Yeah. Hmm.

Like, it's not pretty fucked up that you guys should hang in my house without my

consent? I mean, no curse words.

I don't know about the money, but... It's not like I'm here to try to fuck

you. Oh my god, fuck this.

Fuck you.

Just relax.

Because I know how your mother and your brother can be a handful sometimes.

Oh, my God.

Oliver's coming?

God, wake me up from this nightmare.

You've come a long way to flight, but I'm here.

So, right?

And that will make it all better for you.

Yes, and did your father tell you?

I got you a onesie.

Yeah, why don't you go put it on?

Just like home. Thanks, Mom.

Wake up, wake up.

I just need you to help me cleanse.

Could you just think of it?

Come on, dad, please.

Your outside is acting up again, dad.

Come on, please.

That should keep one seat at home without me.

That should be so happy that I put it on for her.

What's she doing anyways?

I don't know. I'm down cold.

Having any luck with the buttons?

No.

I'm not that excited for Christmas, but you need to get all the better, Daddy.

I'll be setting it up, dear.

Would you like some coffee?

I'm okay, Mom.

What about you, Dad?

I can't believe that you would invite Oliver.

He's just such a bratty little beater, you know?

He's a beater. You love your beater.

Fatable.

You know, maybe it would be

easier if kind of a prison.

What do you think?

I'm still trying.

Is that better for you?

I do hope I have the right size.

I think it'll fit. We just kind of want to stretch it or something.

It is so cute.

Thanks a lot for the outfit, Mom.

You're welcome.

You know, I wasn't feeling very festive, but now that you guys came over, I

think I'm getting right in the Christmas spirit.

Don't help me here.

It's in the group.

Mm -hmm.

I'm glad to see you have culture

here.

You know, Mom, you always taught me and raised me right, so don't worry.

Everything here is just up to your standards, I promise.

Are you stretching out the butt pop, Dad?

You got to make sure that it's going to get on there.

You've got to be patient, okay?

You're volleyball fans.

I know.

Maybe if I turn around over this way?

You think that helps at all?

They were talking about you in those prison stories.

There must be chances it'll help her.

Mom, did you bring all my favorite ornaments?

I did. I can't wait to show you.

What's up, Patrice? You have to take the star for me.

I want to be the one to put up the star.

Always. I will never ruin that tradition.

Good.

Oh, dear. You always get so distracted.

Okay.

Hurry up and get that second drawer. That way we can fill up the tree.

Morning. Okay.

I might want to try it a little faster then.

Mom, did you make this Christmas duck?

How did you know?

And you didn't make me one this year. Are you kidding me?

She made that one for you.

I set it up.

You made it.

He always could tell me I was the best daughter ever.

Do you remember how to do the trick here?

She just makes me write in Christmas spirit.

It reminds me of last year.

And don't forget the crime rate though.

Oh, I'm so excited!

You're right,

you're right. I'm sorry, Mom.

The tree's not going to finish as well, so I'll go over there and get to work.

All right, darling.

Santa, can I sit on your lap and ask you for some stuff for Christmas?

Sure.

That would be fun.

Santa, for Christmas this year, I think I want new headphones.

Maybe you can help your mom, too.

Mom, I think you need some new headphones.

Listen, you seem so much better if you had some.

Headphones work.

Well, I feel like I'm on Santa's Christmas, you know. I think you

are.

I always have.

Hmm.

Dude, this is kind of a tight fit.

I know.

It is.

And he's got a big shoulder there.

There you go.

That's a good body.

You could also get me, maybe, a new laptop?

Of course!

I can get you anything you want.

Anything?

That's really good, Mom.

You're working very hard.

Dan,

this kitchen is great for everything.

Keep me in the curves of the spirit.

You know this Christmas would be a lot better if Oliver wasn't coming tomorrow.

I'm so happy that you guys invited him and he didn't ask me. I guess we're

to have to work it along at some point.

Well, Bobby doesn't love me that much for always treating me awful.

Man,

Santa delivers the best presents.

I think this is the best present I've ever gotten from you, Step -Santa.

Mom,

you're like our little helper elf.

True.

Let me think right there.

There's the good, I think.

Santa,

I think...

Maybe. Oh, you're right. That does need to be adjusted.

Good eye, Kay.

Looks so good.

I don't see.

You're so adorable in that one, sweetie.

I love it. You have the best outfits to pick out for me, Mom.

Just like your mom.

I love it.

the snowy in there.

Especially with these snowflakes, they really just put the cherry on top for

Christmas. It's fun.

Beautiful.

What do you think, Dad?

They call that a flock tree.

A flock tree?

Yep, it's a flock.

Kind of rhymes with something.

I like a lot.

Hot chocolate. I did see that.

That's true.

A couple left.

You'll pick the best spots for them, I know.

You two look pretty good on that.

You do.

You're just very observant, Mom.

Good, Dad.

The tree's coming along really well.

The last one's here. Here, you need to participate, too.

There you go.

Hmm.

I think that's probably dad's second favorite cookie.

We all know what his first favorite one is.

This is so cute. It's like we're riding a little bridge.

I love it.

Man,

I'm really wearing the holiday cards that I'm going to be eating for the

season.

Mm hmm.

It's just the other way.

You can scrape it.

You always have to scrape the trees a little bit at a time.

What

should

we do?

No problem.

Oh, perfect.

from down here. Yeah, right?

Thank you.

So effective.

So effective.

If you're looking for the tinsel, I found it.

She's hiding under here, I guess.

We should do a sweetheart.

Yeah, of course.

I can't wait until we fill up this tree with all the presents.

I know, right? She's wonderful.

I have the best family ever.

It's got to be tangled, isn't it, Mom?

It is!

Honey, you know that's not good for your back.

You don't have much comfort here.

Oh, my God.

It's doing me, right?

Good idea,

Mom.

Dad, you know what's up?

I've been doing this a while.

Oh, just gorgeous.

Beautiful.

We've heard. I see that yoga's been paying off.

Definitely. I'm getting so much more flexible lately.

I'm so proud of you.

Gorgeous, Mom.

It's looking pretty good.

You know, Oliver does not know what he's making out on tonight.

I know. This is like his favorite tradition.

I'm so excited!

I'm so glad we're doing Christmas.

You definitely put the Christmas cheer back into me.

Thank you.

Your little reindeer bells are ringing, Dad.

They certainly are.

Did you know that every snowflake in the world, each one of them is different

and they'll never look the same?

Families are kind of like snowflakes.

Each one has their different dynamic.

It's alright.

It's alright.

I love our snowflake family.

Can you fix that later?

Of course!

Right there.

My feet right there is perfect.

That looks just right.

Follow us.

Well, it sure feels good to be here and spend time with you, honey.

I guess it wasn't so bad having you guys over.

I'm sorry if I was a little mean earlier.

I just needed to release,

you know, and take some stress out.

Hmm.

I hope I get to put the star up soon.

Yeah, I was just thinking, it's almost time.

Daddy, do you think it's almost time?

Oh, it's almost time. Yeah.

I think your daddy's going to need to lift you up there, though.

Do you have the strength of lifting me up, honey, after all this hard work

you've done today?

Coming here.

It's been such a long day for you.

Oh, he's nice and strong. He is.

Hi guys, it's Christmas Eve Eve and I'm here with my daddy

Family memories.

I love it.

Is that Santa gonna put something in the chimney?

Santa knows I love it in my chimney.

Just the Christmas cheer I need out there.

Come on.

Hello Santa, Christmas is coming soon.

I'm

ready

for my present.

I've been so nice all year long. I think I deserve one.

I'm ready Santa.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Oh,

thank you. I'm so happy.

I love it. I want

to beat that, bro.

What are you doing here?

What are some secret porn stars?

Hey, Peter. My name is Kate Lovely, and I am your teensy all -star with holiday

season. Happy holidays. Happy holidays to you, brother.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.