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1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,273
(glass tinging)
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:10,211
I'd like to propose a toast
to my beautiful bride-to-be.
3
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,913
Darling, I never thought
I'd find love again.
4
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:17,818
I not only found it, but I
found the love of my life.
5
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,019
To Evelyn.
6
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,854
(chorus of "Hear, hear")
7
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,724
(softly):
That poor, clueless bastard.
8
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,162
Like watching a dog
stick his face in a fan.
9
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,698
You don't do that
more than once.
10
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,704
I am the lucky one
in this relationship.
11
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,372
And I promise you,
darling,
12
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:43,411
I am going to be
the best wife I possibly can.
13
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,445
To Teddy.
14
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,180
(chorus of "Hear, hear")
To Teddy.
15
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,750
That poor,
clueless bastard.
16
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,085
So can we go now?
17
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,353
No, we can't;
it would be rude.
18
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,621
I don't mind being rude.
19
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,157
You just talking
or you got a plan?
20
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,859
Well, if I eat enough shrimp,
I can make myself puke.
21
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,294
Then start eating.
22
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,096
All right, stop
it, both of you.
23
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,564
There'll be no puking--
we're going to stay,
24
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,333
congratulate the
happy couple,
25
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,835
mingle a bit and
then I'm going to
fake a migraine.
26
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,637
You can do that?
27
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,340
Hell yeah. I spent 12
years watching my wife
28
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,342
fake migraines and orgasms.
29
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,544
I'd go with the migraine.
30
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,513
Thanks for coming,
fellas.
31
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,881
Means a lot to me.
32
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,416
Oh. Wouldn't miss it.
33
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,752
We wish you a lifetime
of love and happiness.
34
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,254
Right, Charlie?
35
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,957
Well, yeah, but he seems
hell bent on marrying Mom.
36
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,326
Hey, Daddy, sorry I'm late.
37
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,362
That's okay,
Doodlebug.
38
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,029
I'm just glad
you could make it.
39
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,398
(chuckles)
40
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:41,435
Charlie, Alan, Jake,
this is my daughter Courtney.
41
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,004
Honey, these are Evelyn's sons
and grandson.
42
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,406
I'm the grandson.
43
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,176
Ah, well, it's nice
to finally meet you all.
44
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,843
Nice to meet you, too.
45
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,579
So, Teddy, what's the deal?
46
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,982
All this time you've been hiding
this beautiful woman from us?
47
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,851
Just from you, Charlie.
48
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,119
Fair enough.
49
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,088
Dad's a little
overprotective.
50
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,590
I can see why.
51
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:06,059
Charlie, why don't you and I
get Courtney a drink.
52
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,528
I'd like to get
Courtney a house.
53
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,499
Walk with me.
54
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,100
How's your headache, Dad?
55
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,069
Not yet-- so... um...
56
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,506
Courtney, y-you have
amazing posture.
57
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,541
Do you see a chiropractor?
58
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,675
No.
59
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,544
Would you like to?
60
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,746
Charlie I need you
to do me a favor.
61
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,915
Anything for you,
Teddy, name it.
62
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,350
Stay away from Courtney.
63
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,352
Name something else.
64
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,820
Charlie,
this is import...
65
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,255
Don't worry.
66
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,390
I think too much of you
to want to, you know,
67
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,759
do what I want to do
with your daughter.
68
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,428
I appreciate that.
69
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,763
Consider it a
wedding present.
Thanks.
70
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,898
No seriously,
that's all you get.
71
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,370
Oh, Courtney dear,
what a surprise to see you.
72
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,439
Well, I told
you I was coming.
73
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,774
Yes, but the party started
an hour ago,
74
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,510
so I just naturally assumed
that something had come up
75
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,079
that was more important
than your father's happiness.
76
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,481
(chuckles)
77
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,451
Well, Evelyn, you know what
they say about assuming.
78
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,455
When you assume...
you're just a bitch.
79
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,658
Courtney, there are
children present.
80
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,726
She means me,
but I'm fine with it.
81
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,528
Thank you, dear.
82
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,564
You should hear
what they call her at home.
83
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,134
Have some shrimp.
Oh, boy.
84
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,903
Well, great party,
but we got to go.
85
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,538
Oh, already?
86
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,341
Yeah, we'd love to stay,
but Alan's got a headache.
87
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,943
(softly):
Not yet.
88
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:33,414
Not yet... debilitating,
but I do need to lay down.
89
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,483
Hey, uh, before you go,
90
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,352
my dad had mentioned
that you like nice cars.
91
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,020
Yeah.
I do, too.
92
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,356
Swell.
93
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,691
Here's my card.
94
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,493
Maybe I can help you out
someday.
95
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,861
Whoa. Ferraris? Lamborghinis?
96
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,298
They say driving one
is the most fun you can have
97
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,199
with your pants on.
98
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,402
Huh. Well...
99
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:55,503
that's how I
like to drive,
100
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,738
with my pants on.
101
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,973
Otherwise the leather kind of
sticks to my thighs.
102
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,509
(laughs)
103
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,510
Well, you should
come down sometime.
104
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,911
I'll give you a test drive.
105
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:07,214
Actually, I'm really not
a Ferrari guy.
106
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,816
I'm not, either.
107
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,252
Bye-bye.
108
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,454
We really got to get
our signals straight.
109
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,656
I mean, you just made me
look stupid.
110
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,592
Don't blame your
father for that.
111
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,194
I'm telling
you right now,
112
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,564
I'm not having
any more children.
113
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,667
Terrific.
114
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,637
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
115
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,006
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
* Ooh
116
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,943
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men *
* Ooh
* Ooh
117
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,245
* Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... *
118
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,648
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
119
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,751
* Ooh
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
120
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:48,756
* Ah.
* Men.
* Men.
121
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,865
(phone rings)
122
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,001
Hello.
123
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,503
No, it's Alan.
124
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,138
Oh. Oh, hi, Courtney.
125
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:08,842
Well, it was very nice
meeting you last night too.
126
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,478
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
127
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,713
I had no idea that you were
planning on using
128
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,083
a fake migraine
to get out early.
129
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,052
So, uh, so what did you do?
130
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,822
Ooh, menstrual cramps.
131
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,525
Yeah, I can't get away
with that.
132
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:29,497
Although sometimes, I'll use
irritable bowel syndrome, and...
133
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,832
Okay, I'll get Charlie.
134
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,769
It's Teddy's daughter;
she wants to talk to you.
135
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,104
Really?
136
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,939
But you promised Teddy
you'd stay away from her.
137
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,941
Hey, I didn't tell her
to call me.
138
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,877
What kind of man would hit
on his future stepsister?
139
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,047
You're just making it hotter
for him.
140
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,351
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
141
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,822
Hi, Courtney, what's up?
142
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,890
Uh... that's nice,
143
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,427
but I told you I'm really not
into Ferraris.
144
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,429
A Bentley?
145
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,564
Well, that's a little more
my style.
146
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,535
Okay, I guess I could come by
and take a peek at it.
147
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,703
First a peek, then a poke.
148
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,778
Uncalled for.
149
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,916
2:00? Great,
I'll see you then.
150
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,924
I swear, this is just business.
151
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:34,127
I'm going to look at a Bentley
she got in on trade.
152
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,597
I can get it for dealer cost.
153
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,798
Since when do you need
a Bentley?
154
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,033
Nobody needs a Bentley, Alan.
155
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,970
Just like nobody needs
to date a woman half their age.
156
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,739
But if you want one, it doesn't
hurt to have the other.
157
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,245
Did Teddy tell you
to stay away from
his daughter, too?
158
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,649
No.
Yeah, why would he?
159
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,824
* Men...
160
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,062
Pretty hot, isn't it?
161
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,165
Oh, yeah, but it's...
it's not really my thing.
162
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,302
Gee, I think a guy like
you would look pretty
great in one of these.
163
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,737
You think?
Absolutely.
164
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,372
Here. Slide on into it.
165
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,743
See how it feels.
166
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,812
What about the Bentley?
167
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,347
I got the guys in back
washing it up for you.
168
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,415
We have a few minutes.
169
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,317
Ah, sure. Why not?
170
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,820
That's always
been my motto.
171
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,592
Oh, pretty snug.
172
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,461
Tight's good,
don't you think?
173
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,298
(sighs)
174
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,502
Sure, tight's good.
175
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,840
Oh, hi.
176
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,775
Hi.
177
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,610
So, where do they put the
engine in these things?
178
00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:01,782
They put it where it belongs...
in the rear.
179
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,489
Huh.
180
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,225
So, no stick?
181
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,594
No, you shift
from the wheel.
182
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,495
Let me show you.
183
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,298
Left side down,
right side up.
184
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,400
You don't need
a stick.
185
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:24,071
And yet I've
got one anyway.
186
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,276
(vibrating)
187
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,078
Is that your cell phone?
188
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,279
Boy, I hope so.
189
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,083
Excuse me.
190
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,718
Hello.
191
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,153
(chuckling):
Oh, hey, hey, Teddy.
192
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,122
How are ya?
193
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,157
Good.
194
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,359
Me? I'm-I'm-I'm fine.
195
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:49,730
Just running some errands.
196
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,732
Yeah, I'll be around tomorrow.
197
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,634
Dr-Drop by any time.
198
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,235
Great. I'll see you then.
199
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,604
(chuckles)
200
00:08:56,670 --> 00:09:00,608
Th-That was your dad.
201
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,110
He wants to talk to me and Alan
about something.
202
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,778
I heard.
203
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,346
Has he ever said
anything about me?
204
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,715
You?
205
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,082
Uh, let me think.
206
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,752
He told you to stay
away from me, didn't he?
207
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,353
Oh, yeah, there was that.
208
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,656
(sighs)
209
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,125
I can't believe he's still
trying to control my life.
210
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,993
Hey, your dad loves you.
211
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,629
He's just trying
to protect you from...
212
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,164
well, in this case, me.
213
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,735
I'm a big girl, Charlie.
214
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,336
I can take care of myself.
215
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,771
I'm sure you can.
216
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:36,376
I can also take care
of whoever I choose to be with.
217
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,012
I'm sure you can.
218
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,888
Listen, uh, I
appreciate the offer,
219
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,290
but I think I'm
gonna pass...
220
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,726
on the Bentley.
221
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,696
But you haven't even
seen it yet.
222
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,099
And right now,
it's all wet and soapy,
223
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,101
just waiting for you.
224
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,244
Are we still
talking about a car?
225
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,815
What do you think?
226
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,684
I think I should
probably get out
227
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,351
before I set off
the air bag.
228
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,724
* Men...
229
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,426
And then, she leaned
over real close
230
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,596
to play with
the "paddles."
231
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,831
The what?
232
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,533
Paddle shifters
on the steering wheel.
233
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,836
Oh, oh.
234
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,338
I had another picture entirely.
235
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,475
But I restrained myself.
236
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,779
I walked away, and now I can
still look Teddy in the eye.
237
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,280
That's... that's great,
238
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:50,250
but how come you have no problem
looking me in the eye
239
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,853
after sleeping with my wife's
sister, my son's teacher,
240
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,789
my divorce lawyer
and my old receptionist?
241
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,726
I like Teddy.
242
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,496
And the receptionist
was your fault.
243
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,732
How?
244
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,867
If you'd paid her
a decent salary,
245
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,002
she wouldn't have had to hook.
246
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,876
I brought the Bentley.
247
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,846
Come on, Courtney,
I told you I can't.
248
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,014
Just one little test drive.
249
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,150
What do you have to lose?
250
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,886
Well, there's my integrity,
my self respect,
251
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,620
my relationship with
your father...
252
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,189
Give me the damn keys.
253
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,792
* Men *
254
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,964
Is your brother still
in bed with his sister?
255
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,773
Stepsister.
256
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,208
To be.
257
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,542
And yes.
258
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,312
Wow, how long
has it been?
259
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,715
About 18 hours.
260
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,351
Good thing he's got
supplies up there.
261
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,420
He does?
262
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:01,789
Sure.
263
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,192
Water, PowerBars,
fresh batteries, rope.
264
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,228
Oh, like, uh,
like an earthquake kit.
265
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,163
Huh.
266
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,000
I guess you could use
that stuff for earthquakes.
267
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,172
(doorbell chimes)
268
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,511
Oh, crap.
269
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,448
Misdirected anger.
270
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,483
You'll get used to it.
271
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,185
What are you guys doing here?
272
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,254
We came here to talk
with you and Charlie.
273
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:34,788
Didn't he tell you?
274
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,056
No, he did not.
275
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,590
In fact, he never
tells me anything.
276
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:40,060
I don't know half of what he
does, nor do I want to.
277
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,829
It's his life and he alone
should suffer the consequences.
278
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,030
Come on in.
279
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,467
Is he even home?
280
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,735
Uh, I'll check.
281
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,570
Why don't you make
yourselves comfortable
282
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:54,141
and, uh... I'll check.
283
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,278
'Cause I have no idea.
284
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,182
So... I'll need to check.
285
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,689
Is he on something?
286
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,424
Oh, if only.
287
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,330
What?
288
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,000
Teddy and Mom
are downstairs.
289
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,768
You're kidding. What the
hell are they doing here?
290
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,270
Apparently,
you invited them.
291
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,404
I did not.
292
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,673
Yes, you did. On the phone,
remember? Hey, Alan.
293
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,708
Hey, Courtney. How you doing?
Charlie, they're waiting.
294
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:31,845
Yeah, we've got a problem here.
295
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,313
No, no, no, sir,
you've got a problem.
296
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,248
I made no promise,
I broke no promise.
297
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,516
You actually
made a promise?
298
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,651
Yeah. And I really
tried to keep it.
299
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:39,887
He did.
300
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,354
I could sense his
inner conflict
301
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,524
as we were doing it in the
backseat of the Bentley.
302
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,529
Okay, look, just stall them.
I'll be right down.
303
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,763
Fine, but know this, Charlie.
304
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,599
I am not taking
the fall for you.
305
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,934
How could you take
the fall for me?
306
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,203
I don't know, but it
always seems to work out
307
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,605
that when you get laid,
I get screwed.
308
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,608
Just go.
309
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:03,843
Great.
310
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,844
Just great.
311
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,446
Hey, have you seen my dress?
312
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,780
Why?
313
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,616
Well, I ain't
going down like this.
314
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,619
You're not going
down at all.
315
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,421
Why not?
316
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,389
I have nothing
to be ashamed of.
317
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,757
Here.
318
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,127
Hit rewind, I'm sure
you'll find something.
319
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,035
I just can't believe
he's still in bed.
320
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,602
He's a drunk, Mom.
That's what they do.
321
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,172
Oh, come on, Evelyn,
give the kid a break.
322
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,908
He was probably out late last
night sowing some wild oats.
323
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,709
He's 40 years old.
324
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,278
He was no more wild oats,
325
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,681
just warmed over
Cream of Wheat.
326
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,484
Hey, hey. Look who's here.
327
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,320
Well, thanks for interrupting
your stupor and joining us.
328
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,622
Oh, I can get back
to my stupor any time.
329
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,790
So, what's going on?
330
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,125
Well, your mother and I
331
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,826
wanted to talk to you
about the wedding.
332
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,163
You've got my blessing.
What else?
333
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,266
We wondered if you would mind
having the ceremony here.
334
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,768
Sure, terrific-- on the deck,
in here, on the beach,
335
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:02,936
wherever you want-- what else?
336
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,438
Don't you want
to think about it?
337
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,074
Who wants to think
about it? It's perfect.
338
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,241
Have the ceremony,
the reception...
339
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:09,909
Hell, Alan and I
will clear out
340
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,945
and you can use this
place for your honeymoon.
341
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,413
Trust me,
it's all broken in.
342
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,948
The house, not Mom.
343
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,386
(loud rock music playing)
344
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,790
Do you have one of your
little pop tarts up there?
345
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,126
No, no. Just my alarm.
346
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,328
If I'm not up by 4:00
in the afternoon,
347
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,130
I feel like I've
wasted the whole day.
348
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,732
Be right back.
349
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,136
(music blaring)
350
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,404
(music stops)
351
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,705
What do you think
you're doing?
352
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,839
I'm bored.
353
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,141
You're bored?
354
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,076
Yeah, I want to go downstairs.
355
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,045
No, no, no. No, no.
You can't go downstairs.
356
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,313
Find something else to do.
357
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,349
Well, I'd love
to sell you a car.
358
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,218
(scoffs)
359
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,685
Yeah, very funny.
360
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:53,786
(chuckles)
361
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,355
No, I'm serious.
362
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:58,658
You want to sell me a car now?
363
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:02,495
Or I could... go downstairs.
364
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,330
You wouldn't.
365
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,766
(chuckles):
I would.
366
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,535
Wait a minute.
367
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,403
You planned this.
368
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,539
You knew they were
coming over today.
369
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,974
Well, a good salesman
pays attention.
370
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,476
Now, if you'll excuse me...
371
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,511
Okay, okay,
okay, you win.
372
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,447
Give me a price
on the Bentley.
373
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,182
Actually, the Bentley's
no longer available.
374
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,283
I'm thinking the Ferrari.
375
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,453
I don't want a Ferrari.
376
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,288
And I don't want
to stay up here.
377
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,457
EVELYN:
Charlie, we're waiting!
378
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,858
Coming!
379
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,493
Okay, fine.
380
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:38,131
But let me just say, this
is no way to treat family.
381
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,769
Here we go, blue eyes.
382
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,037
I made it myself.
383
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,072
Ah, thank you.
384
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,206
Nothing for me, thanks.
385
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:49,676
I don't
recall offering.
386
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,844
Sorry, sorry.
387
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,214
So, wedding on the beach.
388
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,116
Great. I'll take
care of everything.
389
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,284
Thanks for stopping by.
390
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,786
Well, there is
one more thing.
391
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,787
Name it.
392
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,389
Well...
Excuse me.
393
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,558
Uh, Berta, this
is a family matter.
394
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,330
If you only knew.
395
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,433
Here's the deal.
396
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,868
I've never had
any sons of my own.
397
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,237
Just the one daughter.
398
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,871
And she's great.
Isn't she great, Alan?
399
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,173
Well, I hardly
met her.
400
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,075
Me neither, but I'm
sure she's great.
401
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,543
She's terrific.
402
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,546
But, uh, I've grown very
fond of the two of you
403
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,015
and I'd like to ask you
to stand up with me
404
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,650
when I marry your mother.
405
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,154
Wow, uh, Teddy, that's,
that's quite an honor.
406
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:37,357
Yeah, uh,
I'm really touched.
407
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,892
(rock music playing)
408
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,595
Snooze button.
409
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,597
I must have hit
the snooze button.
410
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,166
Excuse me.
411
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:50,337
I don't use the snooze button.
412
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,172
When I'm up, I'm up.
413
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,508
Of course, I'm not a drunk.
414
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,846
(music blaring)
415
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:00,747
(music stops)
416
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,249
Are you out of your mind?
417
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:06,319
I prefer to think of myself
as a "go-getter."
418
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,188
All right, now you're
gonna want to sign here,
419
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,690
here, here and initial
where the little flags are.
420
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,193
This is twice as much
as the Bentley.
421
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,694
I can't afford this.
422
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,863
Well, if you need help
with the down payment,
423
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,666
I'm sure I could ask my dad
to help you out.
424
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,202
He really loves you.
425
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,441
Fine.
426
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,842
Here.
427
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,010
And here.
428
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:32,912
And here.
And here.
429
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:33,980
And here.
430
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,515
What's this?
431
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,583
Oh, that's
the extended warranty.
432
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,084
Just a little
extra protection.
433
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,654
I think it's a bit
late for that.
434
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,924
Congratulations.
You now own a Ferrari.
435
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,126
Yippee.
436
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,562
Uh, Charlie?
437
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,931
What now?
438
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,901
I'm gonna need a check.
439
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:01,808
You know...
440
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,144
this is the most I've
ever spent for sex.
441
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,182
But not by much.
442
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,453
* Men *
443
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,592
Charlie, the wedding
isn't for six months.
444
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,362
Yeah, but it's bad luck
to see the bride beforehand.
445
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,830
Well, thanks again, fellas.
446
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,433
You being part of this shindig
means a lot to me.
447
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,401
Our pleasure, Teddy.
Bye-bye.
448
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,104
Congratulations.
449
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,606
Once again you get
off scott free.
450
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,108
Free?
You think that was free?
451
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,877
Uh, Charlie?
452
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:38,878
Yeah-yeah! Hi.
453
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,280
I just wanted you to know,
454
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,648
I'm not going to say
anything to your mother
455
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,550
about you and Courtney--
they don't get along.
456
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,485
Okay, great.
Wait, wait, wait.
457
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,720
You knew?
How did you know?
458
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,322
Well, I just noticed
the car outside
459
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,823
with her dealer plates on it.
460
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,193
You couldn't have noticed
that on the way in?
461
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,663
How much did she
take you for?
462
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,197
Don't ask.
463
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,199
Well, you can't say
I didn't warn you.
464
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,201
Wait, wait, wait.
465
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,904
So you were trying
to protect me?
466
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,939
Hey, you're a good kid.
467
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,242
And Courtney,
well, I love her,
468
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,845
but she is kind of
a sociopath.
469
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,581
Bye now.
470
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,886
You know what
this means, don't you?
471
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,153
What?
472
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,291
I'm gonna need an eight-car
garage.
32332
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