All language subtitles for The Ms Pat Show s04e06 Blast From the Past.eng

[cheers and applause]

- Y'all ever realize
the older you get,

the more regrets you have?

Everyone has regrets.

Me believing in my Falcons,
regrets.

[laughter]

Going to an all-white party
with your period on, regrets.

Forging white people checks,
no regrets.

Just remember, you are
the author of your own story,

so make sure you
write your ass some happiness.

And if you're illiterate,

get some crayon
and draw that bitch.

Let's get this
fucking show started.

[cheers and applause]

- [groans]
I'm just going to say it.

I can't keep eating
in the same place

- Denise making hair products.
- Facts.

I mean, I mistaked
Denise Grease

for ranch the other day.

Have y'all ever seen a chicken
wing with a 4B curl pattern?

[phone buzzes]

- Oh, my God,
this girl is relentless.

She worse than
a damn bill collector.

It's Elizabeth, ain't it?

- Yeah.
She calling you too?

- Yeah, only
I just answer the phone

and act like the call drop
and then I block her ass.

- [chuckling]
Why y'all dodging her?

- Well, she wanted me
and Pat to go with her

to see a motivational speaker
today.

- What she want
the two of you there for?

I don't know.

Motivation to get motivated,
I guess.

You know, when her
ex-husband moved away,

he took her son with him,
so she's lonely and depressed.

That's sad.

But what that got to do
with y'all?

- Did you not just hear me
ask that question?

- Is somebody talking?
Because I smell hot breath.

- Nigga, I-
- Knock it off.

- I didn't know she was
going through all that shit.

- Well, y'all should
go support her.

Yeah, maybe we will.

Because you know, she done say
she going to kill herself

- if we don't go.
- Mm.

- And you got to be careful
when white people say that,

because they might
actually do it.

- Fine. I'ma go,
but I hate that self-help shit.

- Well, baby,
maybe you can learn something.

Maybe yourself could
use some help, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, Ma, if I didn't
read "The Four Agreements,"

I don't know where
I would be at today.

- Your life is in
four disagreements, OK?

- [laughs]
You know what?

I think I'ma go too, though.
I'm curious about it.

And a lot of my clients
lean heavy on that stuff.

You know, TikTok therapy is in.

Hey, Dad.

Uh, me and my friends are
trying to go get lunch.

So I got to get 50 bucks.

Do I look like an ATM to you?

- If ATM stands for
All Terry's Money, then yeah.

- If I'm an ATM,
then you a JDN.

A JDN?

A Jobless Desperate Negro.

Oh!
Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat.

Here she comes.

Janelle!

- Good morning, sweetheart.
- What's going on?

The last time
y'all were this nice,

we had to lie to CPS.

We got some mail this morning

from the admissions department
at Hansberry University.

- What?
- Oh, snap. She heard back?

Did the Howard come in too?

No.

- Just Hansberry.
- I'm too nervous to open it.

Shit, I ain't.

I ain't never been accepted
to nothing.

This is exciting to me!

- Just don't open it yet.
- Why not?

- Well,
what if I didn't get in?

I have a really bad feeling
about this.

All right.

Junebug, what are you doing?

Why are you always
doing silly stuff?

Don't be a fool
your whole life, boy!

- You got in.
- [gasps] Oh, my God!

I got in!
I got in! I got in!

- My baby girl got into
Hansberry University!

[all cheering]

- You doing the damn thing, baby!
- My baby got in!

Get the fuck off my sofa!

Get off my goddamn sofa!

[all cheering]

- Janelle,
I'm so happy for you.

This is such
a great family moment, man.

[chuckles]

, Where are we at on that 50,
Pops?

You know what?

You two always asking
for money.

Y'all are the only ones up
in this house with no income.

You both can drive now.

- Oh, Janelle,
what's he saying?

- You're going to get more
and bigger expenses

in the years to come.

- Sweet Lord,
please say it's not-

- It's time for
Broke and Broker to get jobs.

- Oh!
- Oh, yes!

- Why?
- I agree!

This boy's got
some growing up to do.

- You too, Janelle.
You Broker.

- What?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you going to college, baby,

you got to learn how
to provide for yourself.

Your mom and I can't keep
covering every little thing

that keep popping up.

That's right.

You two been sucking
on your daddy's titties

for way too long.

- Why did you have to bring Dad
into that disgusting analogy?

- Yeah, I was wondering
the same thing.

- Well, I couldn't
say get off his dick.

OK.

♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Wow, this place is packed.

Denise is going to have
to park across the street.

- Oh, yeah,
this guy is insanely popular.

- Another fake-ass guru
preying on insecurities.

Do you even know if this man
has a degree in psychology?

- I know how
he makes me feel, OK?

He's a fixer.

Hey, Pat, he might be able
to fix your anger issues.

- I ain't got
no damn anger issues.

Get the fuck off me!

- Oh, no.
You just got issues with anger.

Oh, shit, hold up.

Kareem Roberts.
This who we came to see?

I used to shoot dice
with this dude.

- You know Kareem Roberts?
He is-

He's a piece of shit!

And he's Denise ex and
we need to get up out of here.

So Denise has a lot of exes.

- [sighs]
Kareem is not just an ex.

He is theex.

All they used to do is hump,
hustle, and get high together,

and she was torn when he left.

- Wait.
This is Kareem-Kareem?

The guy that was always
hanging around the house

when I was little?

- Yeah, the one you used
to call Uncle Cocaine.

- Wow.
That's Uncle Coke?

- Yes, and we got to get
the fuck up out of here

before Denise see him.

See who?

Oh, Denise!

You know how much
I love you, girl!

Let me tell you!
I need to talk to you!

I need to lay hands
and titties on you!

Oh, praise Jesus! Praise!

[gasping]

What the hell is wrong
with you?

[PA system chimes]

Please take your seats

for "Unleash Your Inner Force"
with Kareem Roberts.

- "Unleashing Your Inner Force"
with who the fuck they say?

Oh, my God.

No.

No!

Kareem?

- Auntie, I totally understand
if you want to leave.

- That being said, I used
the last of my mad money

to buy these tickets.

And I really need
to unleash my inner force

or I will explode, you guys.

- What the hell
did y'all bring me to?

Pat, did you know about this?

- I didn't know
anything about this.

And we can go home.

And Elizabeth is not going
to kill herself.

You better not kill your
goddamn self, Elizabeth!

Oh, yeah, that'll stop her.

You know what?

It's all good.
It's fine.

Yeah.

How about we just go see
what Kareem has to say?

Well, shit, he's a cokehead.

Whatever he says is going
to go in one nostril

and out the other one.

- [sighs] I can't believe
Dad let you tag along.

I found this job posting.
It should be my interview.

- This is the only entry-level
position open in town.

- Did you even look
into janitorial work, Janelle?

I've always seen a mop
in your future.

- No, but I do have a broom
to sweep your broke ass

to the unemployment office.

Watch and learn.

- [clears throat]
Hey there.

Thanks for waiting.

My name is Earl.

Like the TV show,
"My Name is Earl."

No relation.
You are?

- Junebug.
- Janelle.

- Hi, it's nice to meet you,
Jeremy, Janet.

[metallic clattering]

Hey, keep it down back there!

I'm having a meeting, dumbass!

So you kids free
afternoons and weekends?

- Oh.
Yes, sir.

Well, uh,
maintaining my 4.0 GPA

will not interfere
with my role as sales associate

at your fine business.

You will find me prompt,
dedicated,

and a very fast learner.

- [chuckles]
That's great.

Excuse me.
[grunts]

See, me, um, I'm more of a

pull yourself up by your
frosting type of guy, you know?

And as the face
of Big Earl's Cupcakes,

I will always make the customer
feel right at home.

Let's make cupcakes
great again, huh?

- If one in the hand
is worth two in the bush,

I figure two in the hand

is worth a whole hell
of a lot more still.

[laughter]

both: One in the hand,
and then two in the bush.

That's funny.

What does that mean?

I'm saying you're both hired.

You start right now.

- Oh, now? Like right now?
Like we working now?

Yes, ma'am.

I just opened up this location,
and I'm understaffed as hell,

so today's y'all's lucky day.

- Oh, what other locations
do you have?

- We had one across town.
It's closed now.

- Mm.
- We had a rat problem.

Oh, and one more thing.

Y'all can be discreet, yeah?

If there's one thing I hate,
it's loose lips.

- Uh, yeah.
Yeah.

Cupcake recipes are
safe with us, boss.

- Yeah.
- Good.

That's very good.

- Mm-hmm.

- Ah!
- We did it.

We did it. We did it.

OK, well, you have to admit,

that is not the Kareem
that we all know.

- You right,
'cause I kept waiting

to see Uncle Coke slip out,

but that was a new man
in there.

He seemed so at peace.

Y'all, he's still a dealer.

All he's doing now is dealing
bullshit to broken bitches.

No offense, Elizabeth.

- Oh, none taken.
I know what I am.

- [cheers and applause]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, my God.

OK, you guys, I have
to get my book signed.

- I'll go with you.
- Oh, no the hell you will not.

Come on, Denise.

You done forgot how toxic
that man was to you?

The past is the past.

- And your ass is your ass,
and I'm going to kick it Black.

I mean, maybe Pat's right.

We do have a lot of history,

and maybe it's not smart to
just go dig all that up again.

Thank you.

That man took you through
a lot of dark shit, OK?

Move forward, not back.

- But you're a better woman
now too, Denise.

You're stronger.
You're smarter.

Just go say hi,

and then introduce him
to your BFF, Elizabeth.

- [chuckling]
I don't know, Elizabeth.

I mean, he's a fancy,
rich author now.

I can't compete with that.

Hey!

Hey,
you are killing it too, OK?

You are sober,
you started your own business,

and you're still hot as hell.

Well, say that part again.

- You are
so fricking hot, girl!

- OK, OK, OK.
- Ah!

- We're just going
to go say hi. How do I look?

- You look so-
- No.

Never mind.
I don't care.

God damn it, Elizabeth!

- Jeez!
- Excuse me.

Excuse me!

- You just cut.
- OK.

Well, this line ain't going to
be the only thing I'm cutting

if you keep talking, trick.

Hey, it ain't that serious.

I'm so sorry.

Well, I'll be damned.

I'd recognize that threat
of violence anywhere.

Denise Ford!

In the flesh.

Man, you haven't aged a bit.

How you still look 22?

- Well, you know,
hydration and Kegels.

Jesus fucking Christ!

And Pat.

Wow, you also look-

like you're happy.

- And you look like
the nigga from "Juice."

- [laughs]
Still cracking jokes, I see.

You know something?

Your cousin Tanya told me that
you was a comedian now.

- Mm-hmm.
You talked to my cousin Tanya?

- Yeah. Sent her some books
while she was locked up.

- Well, I know them
raggedy-ass books don't work,

because she's still
up to her same bullshit.

- [laughs]
Wait a minute.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

- Is this Ashley?
- Mm-hmm.

- In the flesh.
[laughs]

Oh my goodness, you grew up.

What you doing these days?

- I'm a therapist, actually,
but a real one,

with a degree and everything.

You know something?

I almost went that route, but
I'm doing so good without one.

You know, I wasn't sure
about all that school.

- I mean, how many years?
- Eight.

Eight long, long years.

But you know, I'm real happy
for you, Uncle Coke.

- Well, thanks, baby.
- Mm-hmm.

- And what brings you
to Indiana, Deedee?

- Her name is Denise.
And she came with me.

Uh, you remember?

I picked her up out of the
gutter that you left her in.

You remember that, you
light-skin motherfucker?

Do you remember that shit?
You broke her.

Uh-huh. Yeah.
You broke her.

- Get her, get her.
- Good-hair motherfucker.

- Hey.
[chuckles]

So what Pat means to say is

that we're so happy
that you're doing well.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

- I honestly never thought
I was going to make

it out of my old life alive.

You know, our old life.

But I'm truly happy now.

- Excuse me.
Sorry.

We just-
we got to get one in here, OK?

Oh, look, that's it.
Oh, hi.

Oh, excuse me, security!

- Well, you know,
uh, same here.

Yeah, I've been clean
for a while.

Uh, started my own business.
Yeah, I'm a hairstylist.

- That's amazing.
- Yeah.

I'm so proud of you.

- OK.
Enough of that bullshit.

Good luck with selling
your little fucking books

to your desperate housewives.

We gotta go.

Whoa, whoa, hold on, Mom.

We should at least
buy his new book.

You know what?

You don't have to do that,
really.

- Are you kidding me?
I would love to read it.

No, it's OK.

- I said I'd like to read it,
though.

- No, it's not-
- I really do want to read it.

If you would let me read-

let me read the fucking book,
Kareem.

- OK. That one's yours,
free of charge.

- You know, I hope you enjoy.
- Thank you.

- It's really nice to see you.
- [chuckles] Mm-hmm.

Yeah, really, really, nice.

- Oh, my God, it was
so nice to see you.

Ah.

Here you go.

Whew.

This manual labor stuff
is hard.

How much we getting paid,
again?

This isn't hard work, idiot.

You're literally
handing out cupcakes.

And Earl never said what
he was paying us.

Probably minimum wage.

- So what?
Like $20, $35 an hour?

Wow, you are really sad.

Like, you make
Black people look bad sad.

[bell jingles]

- Oh, hey.
Welcome to Big Earl's Cupcakes.

- How can I help you?
- What's up?

Give me the Black Beauty.

Whoa.

Didn't I say text me?

Don't mind him, kids.

Mitch is an important client
hosting a birthday party.

- [chuckles]
- I will take it from here.

[both chuckle]

- OK, that is
the fourth customer

who's asked for a cupcake
we don't sell.

And the guy before him
asked for a Crystal Cupcake.

Yeah, that is weird.

Did you see that wad
of cash that guy had?

That's a lot of dough
for some dessert, ain't it?

- And why does Earl
keep bringing

sketchy people to the back?

Oh, sis.

I think Big Earl is back there
cooking more than cupcakes.

Uh, uh, Black Beauty?
Crystal?

- As in crystal meth?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Calm-calm down, all right?

Yes, there's some
weird stuff going on,

but that is
a huge leap to make.

Look at the facts, Janelle.

Most of the customers
that come in here

are all white
and weird and musty.

There's a secret "code word,"
cupcakes.

He even asked us
if we had loose lips.

- What?
- Yeah, and?

- Janelle,
our family has a long,

rich history in the drug game.

I know what I'm talking about.

- Oh, my God.
- Mm-hmm.

- We dealing meth.
- Yeah.

OK, there's only one way
to find out.

What? What you gonna do?

No, no, no, no, no!
Don't take it!

- No, no!
- Stop it, Janelle!

- You can't-
- Give me the cupcake.

Oh, shit.

You all right?

I don't know.

You think you gonna die?

- I don't know.
How my eyes looking?

Are they red?

- They've been better.
Hey, hey, hey!

Motherfucker!

- What motherfucker?
- Who motherfucker?

This motherfucker.

Motherfucker?

Damn, is the book that good?

- No, no, no.
It's bad, T. It's really bad.

He put all of my business
in here.

What you mean?

- He told it all,
Pat, everything.

- You mean
everything-everything?

Everything!

Pat, God damn it!

[sighs]

Oh, wow.

Wait, hold up.

Is that Uncle Coke
on the cover?

He writing books now?

- Go ahead.
Tell him.

Tell me what?

- Your auntie and Kareem
had a baby together.

- I'm sorry.
What?

A long time ago.

Auntie?

OK.

I didn't tell anybody
except your mom,

because I just
wanted it all to go away,

him, the baby, all of it.

- Well,
what happened to the baby?

You sure is nosy.

I put it up for adoption, OK?

Because that is what was
best for everybody.

And I don't regret it.

Entirely.

Oh, Pat, I just worked so hard

to bury this all
in the back of my brain.

And then here he come,

and I can't believe
that he's doing this,

bringing all this
shit up again,

and for the whole
fucking world to see!

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm sure you did what
you had to do, Denise.

And we ain't going to look
at you no less for doing it!

[clears throat]

[clears throat]

- What?
- Really, Terry?

I kill one goddamn baby,

and all hell broke loose
around this motherfucker.

You got a lot of nerve.

No.

You got a lotof nerve.

No. Come on.
Come on, come on, Denise.

Come on, Denise.

You got a lot of fucking nerve!

Why?

Why, Kareem,
are you monetizing my pain?

No, I don't like it, I don't
like it, I don't like it.

Publishing.

I like the prayer hands.

Publishing...

my pain.

- Very, very moving
performance, Poison Ivy.

- Personally,
I would have put a few more

"fuck yous" in there.

- OK, well, you don't
even got to worry,

because there will be plenty in
there when I see Kareem today.

Mm?

The fuck you mean,
you gonna see Kareem today?

Didn't I tell you to
leave that damn man alone?

Hell no, Pat.

I'm going down to his hotel
and letting his ass have it.

- That's what
I'm worried about.

You going to go down there
and let him have it, all of it.

- She talking about your pussy,
Auntie.

- Well, you know
if you go down there,

you going to fuck that man.

- Yeah.
Bare minimum, sloppy toppy.

- What's a sloppy toppy?
A Manwich?

Damn, I feel sorry for Daddy.

- OK.
Listen, you two.

That man is not getting
nothing from me, all right?

There is zero chance that
I'm sleeping with that scumbag.

Yeah, right.

All right.

You want to bet me 100 bucks

that I do not sleep
with Kareem?

Hmm.

Let's bet something
that you can give.

[loud knocking at door]

- Oh, Denise,
what a pleasant surprise.

Publishing...

my pain.

- OK.
So you read the book.

Yes, I did.

And that's why
I'm suing your ass.

Oh, you suing me?

Yes, nigga.

Litigation, legislation,

fucking up your reputation
through regulation.

All right.

So I'm sorry you're so upset,

but I live my life openly
and honestly now,

with no exceptions.

I had to speak my truth.

My baby is my truth to tell.

Our baby, Denise.

Our truth.

Ours.

We both gave that baby away,
remember?

- OK.
I know what we did, Kareem.

Please don't talk to me
like I'm a fucking child.

OK.

So I don't see why you're
coming at me like this, then.

We was high, Denise, and dumb.

You saw what your sister
was going through.

You knew we couldn't do that.

[sighs]
Look.

You're letting your emotions
cloud your memory.

OK?

You didn't want her
any more than I did.

It!

"It," Kareem.
Don't call that baby no "her."

I can't take that shit.

- OK. Denise,
maybe you're overreacting.

- Oh, now you need
your ass beat.

- I didn't even use your
real name, woman! Damn!

- You changed the name from
Denise Ford to Fernise Dord!

I think people's going
to figure it out,

and that's why
I'm suing your ass.

- All right, if you wanted me
to ask permission,

maybe you shouldn't
have told me

to never speak to you again
when we broke up.

- That's because I couldn't
stand to be around you anymore.

Oh.

And honestly, I still can't

because you make me sick
to my stomach.

And the next time you see me,

it's going to be in court,
motherfucker.

- Oh, who you calling
motherfucker, motherfucker?

You, motherfucker!

You sorry-ass motherfucker!

- I know...
- I couldn't stand you then...

- You ain't
came up in my room...

- And I can't
stand your ass now!

- Ooh.
[both chuckle]

That thing's still going.

[laughter]

Damn.

Whew.

OK.

But I'm still suing your ass.

Mm-hmm.

Whew.

So that's it.

I tried the cupcake,
nothing happened,

even though I wanted
something to happen,

and we're good.

- All right.
So it's decided.

Earl is not a drug lord and
this is just a cupcake shop.

- Yep.
Not even suspicious anymore.

Nope.

[bell jingles]

- Oh. Good morning, ma'am.
- Good morning.

Oh, I love your
little cupcake hat.

It's so cute.
I'm Pam.

I'm here about
the baker position.

Oh, yeah.

How you doing, Pam?

- She seems pretty cool.
- And normal.

- That's a good sign.
- Mm-hmm.

- I guess we were
just being paranoid.

Yeah, maybe.

- All right, Pam.
You're hired.

God damn, he work fast.

Head on to the back back,

and I'll show you the,
uh, kitchen area.

- Oh, perfect.
You won't regret this.

Nobody, and I mean nobody,
bakes like Pam Puddles.

- We were definitely
not being paranoid.

- Yeah, she baking something,
all right.

- Why are you two
always whispering?

This ain't a library.

- Sorry, boss.
Um, weird question.

Do we sell anything
other than cupcakes here?

Something a little
more intense?

Like, I don't know, say,
maybe a cronut?

Nah, Business 101.

Make one product, make it good,
and folks will be loyal.

Well, you know what?

Um, I was thinking maybe

we can try one of the off-menu
cupcakes.

Like, I don't know,
uh, Black Beauty?

And I was thinking maybe

you could shut the hell up
and do your job.

[muttering indistinctly]

[sighs]

All right.

Well, we still
need real proof, Janelle.

- Damn it.
[bell jingles]

Oh. Hello, sir.
How can I help you?

Let me get a Pookie.

Cupcake.

- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, my man.
Level with me.

It's not actually baked goods

you're dropping
all this dough on, is it?

- [chuckles]
Come on, little dude.

Ain't nobody be willing
to spend that

on a freaking cupcake.

There's only one thing
people in this town

be trying to drop that kind
of coin on.

[both chuckle]

- Burt, my man. Come on.
- Big Earl!

- Head to the back.
- Give me that.

- [grunts]
- [chuckles]

- My spirit is
telling me that that's

a fentanyl felon right there.

- Texting Daddy right now.
- Mm.

[phone chimes]

- Kareem is not just
a shitty person.

He a shitty writer, too.
I can't wait to drag his ass.

- Well, Denise is
lucky to have a sister

as psychotically overprotective
as you.

- Thank you, baby.
- [groans] Where is she now?

- Down there putting
the ho in hotel.

And she ain't even
answering her phone.

I know she's down
there fucking him.

Well, I thought you said that

they were trouble when
they get together.

They are, bad trouble.

- Like breaking her sobriety
trouble?

- [phone chimes]
- I need to get down there.

[groans] Oh, my God.

Yo, yo, yo.
The kids need me.

Uh, something's crazy
going on at their job.

Go on down to the hotel.
Text me, all right?

- You know, we have to fix
every damn thing, don't we?

It gets old, don't it?

Give me a kiss.

- Ooh, that was a-yeah.
Mm.

One more for your mind.
One more for your-

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, girl.

- We be fucking
and everybody get killed.

[bell jingles]

Hello.

Welcome to Big Earl's Cupcakes,
you friendly customer.

Customer.

- Oh.
[clears throat] Hello.

I'm a customer, like you said.

Because you the employee, can I
get one of them black cupcakes?

- [whispering] Louder.
- What?

- Talk louder.
He can't hear you.

Oh, oh.

[loudly] Just let me get one
of them black cupcakes, please!

I need me some
of that sweet stuff!

It's all good, guys.

I got this.

Yeah, come on back.

I'll get you that
sweet stuff you seek.

- I love me some sugar.
- Oh.

Brother,
once we get you set up,

you're going to be
coming back here all the time

because I promise you,

I got the best shit
in the state back here.

Now, we're out of Black Beauty,
but I got something better.

Pam, we've got a sweet tooth!

[bell jingles]

[yelling]

Brandon James up to bat.

[shouting]

Let's go, babe.
[grunts]

Home run!
Yeah, yeah.

[shouting]

Do you know the Muffin Man?

[cackles]

What's going on?

Damn it, Brandon.

I told you to wait
for my signal.

Hands in the air!

Pam!

This is a sting operation.

Pam.

- You, drop the bat now.
[bat clatters]

And you, big pervert,
hands where I can see them.

- Hold up. I ain't no pervert.
I'm just here for the kids.

Nope.

Let me rephrase that.

Ma'am, he's our real father.

- Uh, this man here
is the issue, not me.

When I gave my kids this job,

I thought they'd be selling
sugar, not crystal meth.

- You kids are selling meth
out of my store?

No, you are selling meth.

The hell I am!

- Well, what's
with all the customers

ordering off-menu cupcakes
with fat stacks of cash?

- Those are the code words
he uses for his escorts.

Isn't that right, Earl?

This is the third location
of his we've busted.

- Escorts?
So this-this is a-

A whorehouse?

- Crystal, Pookie,
Black Beauty.

- See, all you had to do was
give me the $50, Pop.

- Officer, um,
can I put my hands down

and grab my phone, please?

You can check my texts.

You know, I had no idea
this was what this was.

I just came down here

because my kids was
worried about something.

- He's telling the truth,
ma'am.

He's just our daddy.

- Uh-uh, Janelle.
Just say "dad."

Put your hands down.

Whew.

Y'all can put y'all hands down.

both: Hell naw, we Black.

[laughter]

- [loud knocking at door]
- Denise!

- [choking]
- I know you in there, Denise!

All right, quick.

Denise!

- You got to get rid
of her, OK?

Tell her that I came here,
that I yelled at you,

and then I left.

Man, I can't act.

OK. Well, figure it out.

Uh, coming!

- Coming.
- Denise!

Denise!

Coming, coming.

I know you're coming.

- [clears throat]
Hey, Pat.

So nice of you to stop by.
Hey-

Where the fuck is my sister?

- I-I don't know.
I mean, she came by here.

She chewed me out
and then she took off.

I don't fucking believe you.

Denise,
I know your little ass-

- I'm telling you the truth.
- Denise!

Nigga, look up under this bed.

- Why I got to
look under the bed?

Look down there.

You know
I can't get down there, nigga.

- There's nothing!
- Denise!

Denise, I know you in here!

Kick your ass!
Denise!

- Pat, I'm telling you
the truth, I swear.

Denise!

[chuckles]

You know, it's a damn shame

that my sister came
and bounced so quickly.

Yeah? Why's that?

- You know,
because I read your book,

and I gained some respect
for you

because you a survivor
and my sister a survivor.

And I really would like
to see you guys together.

- Aw, Pat-Pat.

- What the fuck
you doing in a cart?

- I should have
known you was lying.

- Tell me you didn't
sleep with this man.

- Oh, yeah, I can tell
you honestly, we ain't sleep.

- Denise, you let him pull
you back into this bullshit?

- OK.
Look, I'm sorry.

I'm truly sorry for what
I put your sister through.

And I'm sure she's sorry
for what she put me through.

- Hmm.
- No, I ain't tell you that.

- But the two of us have
a deep connection

because of what we had together
and what we lost.

I mean, you got to
understand that, Pat.

I do.

But y'all shouldn't
be together.

- Oh, Pat, you ain't
got to worry about that.

I mean, Kareem leaving for
his tour in the next few hours,

and I was just sending him
off with a good memory.

- Well, y'all need to get
Alzheimer's real quick.

And get your shit and let's go.

Told you about
one-night fucking stands.

[door slams]

- Oh, well,
I hope you keep in touch.

- Yeah, I got your number.
- Yeah.

Ooh, and I got your bra.

- Oh.
[chuckles] Thanks.

Uh, hey.

Do you ever wonder what
life would have been like

if we kept the baby?

- Well, you went to my seminar.
You know what I always say.

Let the past be the past.

- And I started saying that
to help me forget the baby,

forget you.

But it seems like

we're not meant to forget
each other, Fernise Dord.

- Seems that way, huh?
- Huh.

[giggles]

Denise, bring your ass out!

[phone chimes]

- [laughs]
Kareem, you are crazy.

- I can't believe you still
talking to that damn man.

- Just relax.
We're just friends, OK?

I'm a lot smarter than
you give me credit for.

- Yeah.
Same here, Auntie.

I mean, just yesterday,

I was a lowly man
living in my mama's basement.

But then I broke up a sex ring

and became what the city
needed- a hero.

Hero, you say?
Yes.

A goddamn hero.

You know what?

I forgot to put on drawers
this morning.

- [laughs]
That's funny.

Because that's just what
I texted Kareem.

Just friends, huh?

- Don't you spend
another minute

stressing about Denise,
all right?

It's not your job
to save her from her ex.

You right.

At least we saved our kids
from selling pussy.

- [laughs]
We sure did.

- A win is a win.
- A win is a win.

- Terry.
- Mm?

What's sloppy toppy?

- You remember you took off
your wig last night?

Um...

holiday head?

Merry Christmas.

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't
take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With a husband and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

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