All language subtitles for The Chair Company S01E07 I said to my dog How do you like my hippie shirt 720p AMZN WEB-DL

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la ♪

♪ La-la, la, la-la ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

-Ron, calm down, man. Chill out.
-Get the fuck away from...

Shit!

Come on!
Who wants to meet Baby?

Who wants to meet Baby?
Baby's home.

Whoa, what...
what the hell is this?

Hey, Baby's home!

You got a dog?

It's a puppy.

-Feel how soft she is.
-Okay.

-Seth.
-Going to school, Mom.

-Seth's going to school!
-Oh. Okay, honey.

-You gonna miss him?
-Love you.

-Bye, love you.
-You miss that? That's your brother!

Barb, I don't think
Seth liked Baby.

Who?

This is Baby.

Uh-oh!
I gotta get her outside.

I gotta get her outside.
Her bladder's full.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, what are you doing?

What are you doing?
Get out of there!

-Were you in the rat box?
-What?

-Oh, crap. Did you bite this?
-Ron!

What happened?
What is going on?

Baby bit the rat box.
I don't know

if she bit the rat
or just the poison.

Honey, why do we
have a dog here?

-What... why...
-I got a little suspended from work.

-You what?
-Jeff and I got into a little conflict.

He was working us
so hard, and he...

he grabbed my shoulder

and my hand pushed him.

You pushed Jeff?

He was being mean to
everyone, Barb, everybody!

Especially the women,
and some of the weaker men.

Oh, my God.
Fuck, Ron! You pushed Jeff?

I talked to Jamie.
They're figuring it out.

What do you mean,
they're figuring it out?

Whether I'm allowed
to come back.

Whether you're allowed back?

Oh, fuck, Ron.

You're supposed to have
my back on this, Barb.

I... I do have your back.
I have this whole family's back.

I've been doing everything
for Nat's wedding.

I go to all the recruiter dinners.

You've not been...
you've not been to one of those.

-Don't yell. Could you not yell?
-And I do my work.

I do my charity work.

-Charity work?
-Yes!

Are you talking about the soup kitchen?

-Baby, stop.
-You know, now you're being an asshole, okay?

I do everything for you
to make your life easier.

Please don't yell around Baby.

What do you do?
How do you help this family?

I do so much charity.

Baby, stop!

I keep everything together.

Baby. Ah! Oh, fuck!

Barb!
Where's the Bacitracin?

Last I saw it, Seth had it.

It's not in here.
Of course, it's not.

-Did you find it yet?
-No. No, it vanished.

It vanished right when
I need it the most.

Alright, try that.

Ow! Oh, sh...

-It hurts that bad?
-Worse than I'm doing!

I think some
of the rat poison got in there

from Barb's tooth...
from Baby's tooth.

There's rat poison
in the dog's tooth?

Barb, yes.

She bit the rat,
then she bit my bite.

The rat poison could have
come from the rat tooth

to my bat bite, yes.

Ron, I'm sad that you think
that I'm not on your side,

because I really try to make it

so that you can do
what you need to do.

And I don't even ever
ask you questions.

And then you push your boss
and you lose your job.

It's not... that didn't go through,
that... that didn't happen yet.

You know,
it's like Everpump

really has an opportunity
to be a success, Ron.

-It's not gonna affect that.
-It absolutely does.

Puts... puts so much
pressure on me.

I... how do I fix this?
What can I do?

-How do I paper over this?
-I don't know.

I don't know what
even to tell you.

I guess, you know, don't
mention that you pushed your boss

at the party tonight.

What party?

Alice's party is tonight.

I can't even believe you
sometimes.

I can't believe you think
I would go to Alice's party

and go around
and tell everybody, "Hey",

-"I pushed my boss 'cause he's..."
-I don't know what

you're going to do.

I don't know what you want.

Purchasing director's office.

Hi, is Teresa Bonaventura there?

I'm sorry,
the director's not in.

May I take a message?

Uh, actually, I just...

I really need to talk to her.

Do you know
when she's coming in?

I haven't seen her.

You haven't seen her?

No. Uh, right.

Uh, is she on the way to come?

I don't know that, doll.

I don't have a crystal ball.

No, I know.
I didn't... I didn't think...

I... it's not crazy to ask.

I... I wasn't thinking
about a crystal ball.

I... I don't think
those really work.

Uh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

-Hey, Natalie.
-Mom said you pushed your boss

-and now you're suspended?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm... I'm just taking
a little break from work.

It's not a big deal.
It's just a small break.

Did you go
to City Hall yesterday?

Yes, I did.

I found hundreds
of Tecca chairs.

Natalie,
this is the mothers hip.

These are the alien eggs.
We found 'em.

What?
Why do they have so many?

I don't know, I'm trying to talk
to the city purchasing director.

They would've had to approve
all the purchases.

I think they gotta
know something.

But they're ducking my calls,

and I definitely can't go
in there now.

-Why?
-Fucking pig.

Worthless fucking pig.
Piece of shit.

I am gonna pull at every single
thread I've ever thought about.

I'm gonna look into anything
and everything.

I'm leaving no stone unturned.

So, the exterminator said he
found some of these in my house.

What the hell are these?

These little bugs are attracted
to extremely hot areas.

You find 'em in car engines,
space heaters,

a phone that has
too many tabs open.

Yeah, Eric said you found some
in some government buildings.

Oh, yes, uh, one sec.

Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

I first saw them
in the Public Works building.

Uh, this is Detention
and Probation.

I found three there.

Uh, there were some
in Public Utilities,

and across the street here...

that's a sub shop.

Oh, it's so good.

Do you like turkey?

Oh, God, they stack the turkey.

Oh, God, it's so good.

Fucking cops everywhere!

Fucking piece of shit pig!

Oh. Oh!

Oh!

Do you know if these
porno pictures are connected

to anything bigger than porn?

Like, are they connected
to, like, corporate fraud?

Or, uh, maybe these porno
pictures are connected to, like,

embezzlement,
or are a calling sign

for, like, an embezzlement team.

Wow.

This is some of
the newest stuff out there.

This is?
This is old.

Right.

Porn's in a really weird place
right now.

When did you
take these pictures?

-About a month ago.
-Oh!

So, these were brand-new, then.

-You have great taste.
-Thank you.

It's nice to have someone
in here who's serious about porn

and not just using it
to whack off.

I do not just whack off to it.
I don't, it's not true.

-You whack off to anything.
-No, I don't.

I am serious about this.

Okay, alright, can you just
take one last look

to see if maybe there's
something bigger hidden within?

Uh, let me see
if I recognize any of these.

Oh, you're low on battery.

-Let me help you out.
-Oh.

Oh, my God, thank you so much.

Yeah, I didn't even
realize that.

Hey! Hey, what the fuck
are you doing?

-Give me my phone!
-I'm just taking your pictures.

-He does that. He does that.
-Give me the damn phone!

Oh!

Goddamn it!
What are you doing?

I thought it would do
something else.

Oh, fuck.

Why the hell
is there soap in here?

-This is all soap.
-Makes it look like it's waves.

-It doesn't look like waves.
-It does.

Do you all fix, uh, phones?

Yeah.
You can come back in an hour.

Can I help you?

Thank you.

Oh, shit! It's Tecca!

Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go!

-What the fuck?
-Go! Go!

Hey! Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh!

Hey!
Get out of here!

I transferred all your
information into this new phone,

but you might have to go in and
update your setting preferences.

-They go back to default.
-Okay.

Oh, come on, I muted this chat.

Huh.

I don't know,
but I certainly feel like I got ripped off.

I recently returned a shirt

I was not satisfied with
to Tamblay.

I mostly didn't like it
'cause it had short sleeves.

The design was nice,
the fit was perfect.

I just didn't like
it had short sleeves.

I returned to Tamblay
four months later

because I had recently sized out

of a number of my key shirts.

I walk in, and what do I see?

A shirt that looks the same
as the one I'd returned,

but it has long sleeves.

Hallelujah.
My prayers have been answered.

It has beautiful long sleeves
like I had wanted.

First long-sleeve shirt
of the season.

Brand-new.

I wished that to happen.

I kinda think I can wish things
into the world now.

It's true, people can do that.

I purchased the shirt

and I immediately
put it on in my car.

It didn't just have
long sleeves.

It had three brown patches
on the back,

which made it my hippie shirt.

How do you like my hippie shirt?

My dog immediately started
sniffing and licking the back,

right where he used
to lick the old shirt,

because it had
a toothpaste stain

from when I sat on toothpaste.

Suddenly, my dog
starts biting it

and rips off
one of the diamonds.

There's the toothpaste stain!

They had put on the diamonds
to hide the paste.

It was the same shirt
I returned,

just with added sleeves
and three diamonds in the back

and they were
charging double for it.

Now, I understand that
they made some improvements

but double for a used shirt?

That is criminal!

Tamblay is repurposing
their old shirts

and selling them like
they were not old shirts.

Un-ethical!

Oh, my God,
they're replacing the parts.

They're replacing the parts!

They made me think

I could wish things
into the world.

Natalie, read what I sent you.

Dad, what the hell is this
Tamblay text?

That's what Tecca's doing.

They're taking back the chairs,
swapping out the parts,

and reselling 'em to the same
companies at full price.

That's why there's so many
chairs at City Hall.

Someone in the government

owns Tecca
or is involved with Tecca,

'cause they're buying
from themselves.

Oh, Dad, don't be mad,
but I found out where

-the purchasing director is.
-What? How?

I went to City Hall
to see if I could talk to her,

but she wasn't there.

But then, I said I'm here
to deliver a ham to her,

because I knew
they wouldn't want ham

sitting around the office
if she's not there.

'Cause Tara has a bunch
of hams around the house

'cause she's shooting hams,
and they reek.

Why's she shooting hams? Is
Wendy's coming out with a ham?

Well, they might start
selling ham at this new thing

called Wendy's Carvers.

Oh, wow!
Will that be at all Wendy's?

No. It's like a new,
nicer Wendy's

called Carvers, and it has ham.

Unbelievable.
That's awesome.

Like I thought,
they didn't want the ham,

so they gave me her address.

-Hi.
-Oh.

Hi, I-I'm looking for
a Teresa Bonaventura.

Oh-ho, you found her.

Oh, could you do me a favor?

Could you bring
that tray over here

closer to my head?

Yeah, we could get that
closer to your head.

-Oh, thank you.
-Yeah.

It's pretty close now.
You just want it...

Oh. Bless you.
Yes, please.

-Yeah. Yeah, of course.
-Right over here.

Oh!

-Ah.
-There we go.

Are you the purchasing
director for Delaware City?

Mm, yes, I am.
Have been since I was 34.

Do you need something?

I was just wondering,
do you approve

all purchases, right?

Oh.
I'm not sure.

They told me I didn't need
to come in since I got sick.

But I still go to the parade.

And they still let me
take my picture every year.

Mm.
And this year,

I wore a blue blazer
and green pants,

and I did a little bang
which swooped around

and made a little circle
around my eye,

and I looked like Daisy Duck.

That's wonderful.

Oh!

Oh!

Yes, yes, yes!

What the hell
happened to my picture of the hairy pussy?

-There's shit all over it!
-Come on, Mike, open up.

I know that's Wazey Waynes.

Ow! My cock's ripping off!

Mike, I'm sorry I was a jerk.

I should have let you
come to Seth's party.

That's not the right thing
to do to a friend.

They're using the old,
sick purchasing director

as a puppet
so they can rubber-stamp

whatever they're doing
with Tecca.

They pretend there's oversight,
meanwhile, they can buy

as many chairs
from themselves as they want.

-Fucking freezing in here.
-Who can?

-And who's using her?
-Look, that's Greg Braccon.

He's been the mayor there
for ten years.

Look at all these scandals.
Nothing's ever stuck.

No one's ever brought him down.

So, Braccon's doing it.

And tonight, he's doing
a little pub crawl

to promote downtown businesses.

There's gonna be press there.
We can go.

We can ask him
about Tecca, ambush him.

What do you want from me, Ron?

You figured it all out.

I have to go to this party
tonight with Barb.

Can you please just go there

and get eyes on him
until I can break free

and go there?

-Okay.
-Yeah?

You know, I really wanted
to go to Seth's party.

I know, I'm sorry.

You could've told him
I was the mailman.

Ron. I need help.
I need a job.

Think you can get me a job where
you work at Professor Roblay's?

Professor Roblay's?

I could clean around
the lab or something.

Yeah, yeah, I'll...
I'll ask the professor.

-Thanks, Ron.
-Yeah, no problem.

Alice. Evan, hi.

-The woman of the hour.
-Aw, it's so good to see you.

Aw.

-And you remember my husband, Ron.
-Yeah, hi.

No, I have to apologize
about Evan.

They asked him
if they could dye his hair

at the stylist today,
and he was too polite

-to say no.
-No.

You know my husband, he...

he does embarrassing
stuff all the time.

Like today,
he... he brought home

a new dog, and then he left
for the whole day.

And so, I was alone
with the dog all day.

-Barb, I am going to steal you away.
-Oh.

-'Cause I wanna show you off.
-Aw.

And after dinner, we're gonna
have a little kickoff toast.

-Oh!
-And I was wondering if you'd be

comfortable saying a few words.

I hadn't prepared anything,
but I... I've...

Dinner isn't for a while.
You'll have plenty of time.

Okay, well, alright.

-Excuse me.
-Yeah.

There's gonna be a dinner here?
Like a... a sit-down dinner?

Yeah, but I'm not worried.

Even if it's something
I don't like...

I got this.

-What are those?
-Pepper patty balls.

Alice says she
thinks we can take it to market

by October, but I'm not so sure.

You can, honey.
You can do anything.

Oh.

Evelyn, Dunbar, can you
excuse me for one second?

-Yeah, sure, yeah.
-Thank you.

-...was so dialed in.
-Yeah.

And... and then, he started
to collect addresses.

Collect some of those names.

-Barb. Barb.
-And that is what I was...

-Honey.
-Do you... do you know when we're gonna eat?

What?

Are you serious?

Ron, we're gonna eat when
the fucking food comes out.

I mean, do you have somewhere
that you need to go or something?

-No, I don't, I just wanted to...
-Okay.

...make sure
if you needed help

with your remarks,
or if it's close.

-With what?
-Your remarks.

Oh. I'm okay, thank you.

I... I don't need help.
Thank you.

-Jeez.
-What?

-I just...
-This is fun.

It is fun. Okay.

Sh...

Hey, Mike.
How's it going?

Yeah, he's here.
I got eyes on him.

But he's with this fucking guy
that wants him to leave.

-What do you mean?
-This guy, he keeps saying,

"Let's get outta here,
this place sucks.

I want to go to your hot tub
in your house."

Mike, what are you
talking about?

This guy, he wants to go
to the fucking hot tub

-in his house.
-...in your house, in the hot tub.

He's an old friend, or maybe he
grew up with him or something.

It's like he's never been
in a hot tub before.

Fuckin' pouting.

-What?
-Ron, when can you get here?

The news media
is setting up now.

It's taking longer
than I thought.

I'll get there as quick
as I can, but I might be

stuck here for a little bit.

It's not a bad place to work.

We do a lot of great work
in the Columbus area.

Oh, good.

And we get away, we go
to our lake house, it's...

Everyone, please join us
in the living room

for music and digestifs
before dessert.

I hope you like chocolate.

Right?

Ron, where are you?

I think we're about
to do the toast.

I might be getting ready
to get out of here.

Yeah, well, I'm worried
he's gonna leave soon.

I think that this guy's, uh,
starting to wear him down.

They've already seen you.
You're done here.

You did everything
you had to do.

Let's go to your house.

Mike, just keep him
there. Figure out a way.

Whoa.
Niagara Falls?

That's... That's cool.

Teresa Bonaventura.

What...

What the fuck?

-Mike.
-Ah, been a while

since I've been called that.

It's Oliver Probblo.
I found her email.

Fuckers at the store
were useless.

But they did get my stuff
off that smashed iPad.

They found the email.
Okay, what was the "S" for?

It wasn't Maggie S at all.

That was a different person
I got in a fight with

about some sunglasses I stole,

and I was willing to go
to the grave saying I didn't.

-Okay.
-The woman who -took those pictures

was Alice Quintana.

Fuck. It doesn't go up,
it goes down.

Piece of shit.
Is that a fucking pill?

You were putting
a goddamn pill in my mouth!

Yeah,
eat this. It's got rat poison in it.

That's rat poison from a tooth!

-Get off him!
-What the fuck?!

The fuck is happening?

I know it's you.
I know it's you now.

How do you know
this little prick?

He's my sister's son.
When you attacked him,

he told me
you were getting close.

I was getting kinda close.

A lot of shit
I didn't have a clue about.

Why would you invite me
to your house?

Now, I know for sure it's you.
You run Tecca.

You're stealing money
from the taxpayers.

You poisoned Teresa Bonaventura.

-What?
-I think you poisoned

Teresa Bonaventura
to keep her home.

To keep her mind sick,
to kill her brain,

so you could just
buy as many chairs

as you wanted
from the budget office.

I didn't do anything to her.

She's been out of it
for many years.

She's not out of it.
She's perfectly fine.

Teresa?
She's not well at all.

She's got the purest heart
I've ever seen

in this whole world.

And you used her signature,

stealing money from
the hard-paying people

of these cities and counties.
It's a crime!

Why the hell would you
invite me to this house?

-That's crazy.
-I invited you

because I invested
in your wife's business.

And the money
which you said I embezzled

is invested with your wife.
You're part of the family now.

That's why you're invited.

-So?
-You really wanna do that to your wife?

After she stood by you
with your Jeep tours?

You really wanna ruin her chance
of raising enough money

for her Series A?

Yeah, because you did
all that stuff,

and I've been trying
to figure it out!

Go out and tell. Actually,
the DA is right out there.

She's a close friend.

Oh, cool, you're friends
with the DA.

I'll... I'll tell your friend.
I don't see why you don't care.

Because I don't think
you're gonna do it, Ron.

Alice, I am gonna do it.

Your plan didn't work.

Barb can find that money
somewhere else, I'm sure.

W-We don't even know if Everpump's
gonna work even with the money.

A lot of these things
don't work out.

I'm definitely doing it.

It sounds like you've got
a little to think about, Ron.

I'm gonna go out there
and be a good host.

-I'll see you out there.
-Yeah, I'll see you out there.

You're fucking stupid as shit,
you know that?

Why would you put the
same design in every website?

-Do you wanna know what it is?
-It's lines.

-It's the color code to my life.
-What?

Every color is a different woman
that I slept with.

Well, first, I slept with pink.
Then, I slept with green.

Then I slept with pink again,
and I married pink.

And that's why this one's black.

I'm telling.

Double whiskey, neat.

Ron.

Ron.

How's the mystery going?

-What?
-Oh, sorry.

I wasn't supposed
to say anything,

but I think it's really cool.

-What?
-Barb said that you're looking

into a bad company.

Barb knows about the mystery?

Yeah, sorry, I... I'm not
supposed to say anything,

but Natalie told her about it.

I said, "What?
Ron's not a detective.

He loves malls."

But she said it's really cool.

She said you're really smart
and you're running around.

You can do anything.

She said a lot of
nice things about you,

like... like you were
a superhero or something.

It was really sweet.

-Barb said that?
-Yeah.

I'm trying to remember
the... the exact words right now

but, uh, yeah, it was...
it was sweet.

And lastly,

I... I just really want
to take an opportunity

to thank you, Alice.

It's really special
what you're doing for me,

but also this beautiful,
beautiful night.

So, cheers. To Alice.

-How 'bout this band?
-Yeah!

I'm just so relieved
that that is over.

Sorry I was
so stressed out, Ron.

You know, when I was
leaving the house,

I saw Baby all curled up...

...on the couch,
and it was really cute.

I know you miss Larby.

And with Seth, you know,
he's going off to college soon.

I know your heart's
in the right place, Ron.

Thank you so much
for supporting me tonight.

-I love you so much.
-Of course.

Without a question.
I'm so proud of you.

I'm so, so proud of you.

♪ In the heart of the night ♪

♪ In the cool southern rain ♪

♪ There's a full moon
in sight ♪

♪ Shining down
on the Pontchartrain ♪

♪ In the heart of the night ♪

♪ In the heart of the night ♪

♪ In the heart of the night ♪

♪ Oh, whoa,
down in New Orleans ♪

♪ I'm so glad to be back
in New Orleans ♪

♪ Please don't wake me,
don't shake me ♪

♪ If it's only, if it's only
just a dream ♪

♪ Below that Dixie moon
and loving you ♪

♪ In the heart of the night ♪