All language subtitles for Nathan.for.You.S03E07.Nail.Salon.&.Fun.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,485 --> 00:00:04,038 My name is Nathan Fielder, 2 00:00:04,142 --> 00:00:07,076 and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools 3 00:00:07,179 --> 00:00:08,732 with really good grades. 4 00:00:08,836 --> 00:00:11,252 Now I'm using my knowledge to help struggling 5 00:00:11,356 --> 00:00:15,601 small-business owners make it in this competitive world. 6 00:00:15,705 --> 00:00:17,258 This... 7 00:00:17,362 --> 00:00:19,605 is "Nathan For You." 8 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:20,986 For most women, 9 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:23,023 nails are the main way they can express to others 10 00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:24,852 what color they like the most, 11 00:00:24,955 --> 00:00:27,475 which is why, in the town of Altadena, California, 12 00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:29,753 there's a nail salon on nearly every corner, 13 00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:31,134 and this competition 14 00:00:31,238 --> 00:00:33,861 has left Kim Han, owner of Corner Beauty Nails, 15 00:00:33,964 --> 00:00:35,207 desperate to stand out. 16 00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:38,521 I always try to be different from other nail salon 17 00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:40,074 to make my customer happy. 18 00:00:40,178 --> 00:00:42,973 Because I'm unfamiliar with the nail-salon experience, 19 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,148 I decided to visit Corner Beauty 20 00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:48,738 undercover as a gorgeous woman looking to get a manicure. 21 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,568 You may have expected me to wear a dress or long hair, 22 00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:54,226 but I believe a modern woman can present herself 23 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,986 however she likes, 24 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,299 And once inside, I was able to get a sense 25 00:00:58,403 --> 00:01:00,543 of the female experience at the salon. 26 00:01:00,646 --> 00:01:02,545 - Oh, this one's gorgeous. - Yes. 27 00:01:02,648 --> 00:01:03,718 - That's lovely. - Yes. 28 00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:05,479 After 20 minutes of being there, 29 00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:09,172 I hadn't seen any issues with their offerings or services. 30 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,209 But after, while digging through my purse 31 00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:12,693 to find my car keys, 32 00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:15,592 I discovered that I completely ruined my nail job. 33 00:01:15,696 --> 00:01:17,698 And later that week, when I finally met Kim, 34 00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,321 she agreed that it was a problem for her business. 35 00:01:20,425 --> 00:01:21,598 They lose something. 36 00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:23,393 They looking for the key, or they hit the door. 37 00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:25,568 Anything can happen when the nail wet. 38 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,294 And then you have to fix it. 39 00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:28,847 I have to fix it for free. 40 00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:31,436 But customers would never have to dig for their keys 41 00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:32,747 and ruin their nails again 42 00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:36,406 if Corner Beauty offered a free valet. 43 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,926 I don't know. Good idea or not. I don't know. 44 00:01:39,029 --> 00:01:40,721 I mean, I know I'm a bit of a fish out of water 45 00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:43,241 when it comes to this stuff because I'm not a woman. 46 00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:44,518 Mm-hmm. 47 00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:47,176 But you should know I was raised a feminist, 48 00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:50,731 and I have a very strong female side to me. 49 00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:55,356 So, even though on the outside I appear masculine and rugged, 50 00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:59,636 on the inside, you know, I feel like I can relate to you. 51 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,224 Good. That's good. 52 00:02:01,328 --> 00:02:04,365 Kim liked my valet idea, but to save on staffing costs, 53 00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:06,850 she suggested I use her current employees 54 00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:09,025 when they had downtime in between clients. 55 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,061 So, after she pitched it to her staff 56 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,442 and they seemed interested, 57 00:02:12,546 --> 00:02:14,858 I brought them out back to prep them for the job. 58 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:18,345 So, who here has operated a valet stand before? 59 00:02:21,624 --> 00:02:22,935 Okay, no problem. 60 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,489 It's really easy. 61 00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:26,180 First rule of valet is, 62 00:02:26,284 --> 00:02:28,769 you got to know how to catch keys, 63 00:02:28,872 --> 00:02:30,253 'cause people are gonna park their car, 64 00:02:30,357 --> 00:02:31,979 and they're gonna throw their keys at you. 65 00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:34,878 And you never know when they're gonna come. 66 00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:35,983 Good. 67 00:02:36,086 --> 00:02:37,502 After practicing a variety 68 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,366 of key-catching methods with the staff... 69 00:02:39,469 --> 00:02:40,539 If it's a pop fly, 70 00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:43,301 one person's got to call it, okay? 71 00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:44,474 Mine. 72 00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:48,271 Call it before it-- before it lands, yeah. 73 00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:50,515 I felt like they now had all the skills they needed 74 00:02:50,618 --> 00:02:51,826 to run a valet. 75 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,690 Yeah. 76 00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,179 You know, guitar? all: Yes. 77 00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:00,801 - You guys play? - No, no, we don't. 78 00:03:00,904 --> 00:03:02,492 No. Yeah, I don't either. 79 00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:05,495 With the training complete, we were ready to get started. 80 00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:08,015 So, the next day, after setting up our valet stand 81 00:03:08,118 --> 00:03:09,465 and outfitting the staff, 82 00:03:09,568 --> 00:03:12,399 it was time to offer our new service to customers. 83 00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:13,538 Hey, welcome. 84 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,712 So we're offering free valet today. 85 00:03:15,816 --> 00:03:17,266 So, after you're done, you know, 86 00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:19,302 you don't have to be going through your purse 87 00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:21,201 and ruining your nails trying to find your keys. 88 00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:22,443 - Oh, that's great. - Yeah. 89 00:03:22,547 --> 00:03:24,411 The customers seemed to love the idea, 90 00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:26,033 but I sensed some hesitation 91 00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:28,691 when I presented Tina as the valet driver. 92 00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:31,141 Um, well, whomever. 93 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,213 Who usually does it? 94 00:03:33,316 --> 00:03:36,354 - They're the valet. - Okay, then let them park. 95 00:03:36,457 --> 00:03:38,977 At first, I just figured it was people's surprise 96 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,393 at seeing a valet run by nail technicians. 97 00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:44,224 Why would she be parking my car? 98 00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:45,984 - She's doing the valet. - Oh, okay. 99 00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:48,193 - Yeah. - Okay. 100 00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:51,092 But then I realized it might be something more. 101 00:03:51,196 --> 00:03:53,163 - You have a driver's license? - Yes. 102 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,993 Yeah, she's a-- she's a good driver. 103 00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:57,547 - She has a license. - Okay. All right, thank you. 104 00:03:57,651 --> 00:04:00,378 And later, when I talked to Tina, she seemed to agree. 105 00:04:03,657 --> 00:04:05,659 They think that? 106 00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:08,075 That's when I realized the disturbing truth. 107 00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:10,146 These customers seemed to be influenced 108 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,666 by a common but misguided stereotype 109 00:04:12,769 --> 00:04:14,840 that Asians are bad drivers. 110 00:04:14,944 --> 00:04:16,532 If this valet was going to work, 111 00:04:16,635 --> 00:04:18,810 it became clear I would have to do something 112 00:04:18,913 --> 00:04:21,502 to change these customer's long-held beliefs. 113 00:04:21,606 --> 00:04:24,125 So I went online and found an Asian stunt driver 114 00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:25,713 named Verena Mei, 115 00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:28,095 who could do some pretty impressive stuff with a car, 116 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:29,821 and I felt that if she could stand in 117 00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:31,167 as one of our valets, 118 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,134 customers would finally see the truth 119 00:04:33,238 --> 00:04:35,551 about what Asians can do behind the wheel. 120 00:04:35,654 --> 00:04:38,795 So I'm working with a nail salon whose customers 121 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:41,695 are, unfortunately, a bit behind the times 122 00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:44,594 when it comes to their thoughts about Asian drivers. 123 00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:46,147 - Okay, got it. - You know what I mean? 124 00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:48,391 I got it-- all the stereotypical stuff. 125 00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:50,290 You've heard all that, I'm sure. 126 00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:51,912 - Absolutely. Yeah. - Yeah. 127 00:04:52,015 --> 00:04:54,880 So I figure if they saw someone who wasn't only a good driver, 128 00:04:54,984 --> 00:04:56,882 but the best in the world, 129 00:04:56,986 --> 00:05:00,783 they'd be forced to permanently change their ideas 130 00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:02,336 about Asian drivers. 131 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,441 Okay. 132 00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:04,752 Do you think you could help do this? 133 00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:07,410 Absolutely. I would love to do it. 134 00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:11,069 The only thing is the staff at the salon, 135 00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:13,934 they all have very thick Asian accents. 136 00:05:14,037 --> 00:05:15,176 Okay. 137 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,454 And I noticed you don't, 138 00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:17,972 and I don't want any of the customers there 139 00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:19,871 thinking, you know, you're a plant, you know? 140 00:05:19,974 --> 00:05:21,182 Yeah. 141 00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:25,083 So would you be able to maybe put on an accent? 142 00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:26,912 - Asian accent? Um... - And then-- 143 00:05:27,016 --> 00:05:29,363 I could try, but I don't really 144 00:05:29,467 --> 00:05:33,850 want to be, like, a stereotypical one, but... 145 00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:36,094 For example, what do you want me to say? 146 00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:38,476 - You want me to show you? - Yeah. 147 00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:40,305 I mean... 148 00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:42,342 I'm not totally comfortable doing that. 149 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,620 That's not offensive if I do it, is it? 150 00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:46,415 I don't think so, but... 151 00:05:46,518 --> 00:05:49,383 Okay, I mean, I'm trying to counteract stereotypes. 152 00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:51,799 The last thing I want to be is--do something racist. 153 00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:52,869 Yeah. 154 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,146 I just wanted to make sure that-- 155 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,907 I'm just showing you the voice, 156 00:05:56,010 --> 00:06:00,152 but I'm not, like, saying I'm necessarily right. 157 00:06:00,256 --> 00:06:02,362 It's just my idea... 158 00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:05,157 maybe, but I'm not-- 159 00:06:05,261 --> 00:06:08,264 Like, I don't want to offend or do anything... 160 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,541 Yeah. 161 00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:11,163 Okay, I'm not the best at this, but-- 162 00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,337 It's okay. 163 00:06:12,441 --> 00:06:13,959 Maybe something like... 164 00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:15,444 "Oh, would you like me 165 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,204 to park your car?" 166 00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:20,932 Is that... 167 00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:23,762 Sound Asian or...? 168 00:06:23,866 --> 00:06:26,109 It sounds a little Asian. 169 00:06:26,213 --> 00:06:27,663 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 170 00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:29,043 With Verena on board, 171 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,011 the next day, we returned to the salon, 172 00:06:31,114 --> 00:06:32,322 and I made sure to dress her 173 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,946 to look identical to the regular staff. 174 00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:37,569 When the first customer arrived and saw her valet, 175 00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:39,571 I knew she was probably nervous, 176 00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,435 but my hope was that once she had finished up 177 00:06:41,539 --> 00:06:42,885 with her manicure, 178 00:06:42,988 --> 00:06:45,266 Verena would be able to show her once and for all 179 00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:47,959 the truth about Asian drivers. 180 00:06:48,062 --> 00:06:49,961 So what do you do for a living? 181 00:06:50,064 --> 00:06:51,618 I work at Bloomingdale's. 182 00:06:51,721 --> 00:06:52,998 Oh, okay. Wow. 183 00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:55,760 And this is prom season, so I'm selling lots of dresses. 184 00:06:55,863 --> 00:06:57,002 Oh, wow. Yeah, I bet. 185 00:06:57,106 --> 00:06:59,073 Lots of girls going to prom. 186 00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,041 Yes. 187 00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:04,941 Got to go to prom. 188 00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:06,426 Yep. 189 00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:11,327 Oh. 190 00:07:16,056 --> 00:07:17,229 Thought they couldn't drive, huh? 191 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:18,714 Yeah. 192 00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:21,820 Right away I could see a lifetime of prejudice melting 193 00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:23,201 out of her brain. 194 00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:25,341 And as more and more Corner Beauty Spa regulars 195 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,136 saw Verena in action... 196 00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:31,451 I could tell they would never be hesitant 197 00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:34,039 to use a valet run by Asians again. 198 00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:35,385 Your car. 199 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,595 So, with that, I could now return to Kim 200 00:07:37,698 --> 00:07:39,044 confident that my solution 201 00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,013 to prevent women from chipping their nails would work. 202 00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:43,428 Worked pretty well, right? 203 00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:45,568 I have to say, you do a good job. 204 00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:48,295 And I bet you didn't think, as a man, I could've come up 205 00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:51,332 with something that would work so well for women. 206 00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:54,025 Maybe you feel how the women feel. 207 00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:56,579 And I know what women want. 208 00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:57,856 Yeah. I think so. 209 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,480 Thank you for those words of encouragement. 210 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:01,826 Yeah. 211 00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:03,137 - Thank you. - Well, thank you. 212 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:04,622 - Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. 213 00:08:04,725 --> 00:08:06,969 Very nice-- happy to work with you, 214 00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:08,108 and good luck with your business. 215 00:08:08,211 --> 00:08:09,489 - Okay. - Okay, bye. 216 00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:11,663 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 217 00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:22,743 You know, making this show, I get a lot of feedback, 218 00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:25,263 and one of the most common misconceptions 219 00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:27,265 viewers seem to have about me 220 00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:29,612 is that I'm a guy who never smiles 221 00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:31,856 and doesn't know how to have fun. 222 00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,098 And that really bugs me 223 00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:35,687 because it couldn't be further from the truth. 224 00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:39,760 In reality, I'm actually very fun, relaxed, 225 00:08:39,864 --> 00:08:41,417 and easy-going. 226 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,247 Now, obviously, I could just be saying that to you, 227 00:08:44,351 --> 00:08:47,009 so tonight I'm going to prove it. 228 00:08:47,112 --> 00:08:48,286 How? 229 00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:51,565 By spending the entire day with a complete stranger 230 00:08:51,669 --> 00:08:53,256 and measuring his dopamine levels 231 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,534 during our hangout, 232 00:08:54,637 --> 00:08:56,466 comparing them against a baseline 233 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,883 to prove scientifically 234 00:08:58,986 --> 00:09:02,921 that he did have fun hanging out with me. 235 00:09:03,025 --> 00:09:05,303 To start things off, I went on Craigslist 236 00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:06,649 and searched through the listings 237 00:09:06,753 --> 00:09:08,548 in the "strictly platonic" section 238 00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:10,308 in order to track down a stranger 239 00:09:10,411 --> 00:09:12,344 who'd be willing to spend time with me. 240 00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:16,072 I then sent emails to a handful of posters looking to hang out. 241 00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:17,522 And the next day, 242 00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:20,421 after fielding a number of inappropriate responses, 243 00:09:20,525 --> 00:09:23,252 I got a nice email from a man named Brendan, 244 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,875 who had recently relocated to Los Angeles 245 00:09:25,979 --> 00:09:27,774 and seemed eager to make new friends. 246 00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:30,880 So we made plans to hang out later that week. 247 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:33,262 But since this was all about proving to you at home 248 00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,884 that I am indeed fun, 249 00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:37,784 I would need to get evidence that cannot be refuted. 250 00:09:37,887 --> 00:09:40,407 So I paid a visit to Dr. Whimsy Anderson, 251 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:42,858 a specialist in neurotransmitter testing, 252 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,101 to advise me on how to scientifically prove 253 00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:46,344 a person is fun. 254 00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,760 When someone's having fun, 255 00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:51,142 you might see an elevation in serotonin, 256 00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:52,592 an elevation in dopamine, 257 00:09:52,695 --> 00:09:53,938 or an elevation 258 00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:56,319 of both serotonin and dopamine both. 259 00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:59,115 So, if their serotonin or dopamine levels go up 260 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,600 when they're hanging out with me, 261 00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:04,189 that would mean that I'm fun? 262 00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:06,364 For them, yes. 263 00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,677 Dr. Whimsy said, to get accurate results, 264 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:12,059 I'd need to obtain two samples of either urine or blood 265 00:10:12,163 --> 00:10:13,613 from the person-- 266 00:10:13,716 --> 00:10:16,098 one before our hangout began to act as a baseline, 267 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,340 and a second at the end 268 00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:19,688 of doing several activities together. 269 00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:21,482 But knowing it would skew the results 270 00:10:21,586 --> 00:10:23,692 if he was aware of what was being tested, 271 00:10:23,795 --> 00:10:25,590 I would have to obtain Brendan's urine 272 00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:27,143 without his knowledge. 273 00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:29,352 So, prior to his arrival at my office, 274 00:10:29,456 --> 00:10:31,596 I set up a tempting selection of beverages 275 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,218 in the waiting area. 276 00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:34,703 Then, in the bathroom, 277 00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:37,015 I put an "out of order" sign on the toilet 278 00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,742 and attached a clear plastic bag to the urinal mat, 279 00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:41,157 creating a reservoir 280 00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:43,366 that would discreetly collect any liquid stream 281 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,196 on its way down the drain. 282 00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:48,268 With everything set and me positioned in a van outside, 283 00:10:48,371 --> 00:10:52,134 I watched as, moments later, Brendan arrived. 284 00:10:52,237 --> 00:10:53,998 To buy as much time as possible, 285 00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,621 I sent him a text, telling him I was running late 286 00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:58,899 and to wait for me in the lobby. 287 00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:00,245 After only a few minutes, 288 00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:02,489 he began browsing the selection of drinks 289 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:05,734 and eventually settled on a Dr. Pepper. 290 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:07,425 Then a half hour later, 291 00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:09,772 the moment I'd been waiting for finally came, 292 00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:12,430 as Brendan got up and headed towards the bathroom, 293 00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:16,537 hopefully to deposit what would be our baseline urine sample. 294 00:11:16,641 --> 00:11:17,815 So, once he was done, 295 00:11:17,918 --> 00:11:20,714 it was time to head in to introduce myself. 296 00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:21,922 - Brendan? - Yeah. 297 00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,303 - Hey, Nathan. - Yeah, Brendan. How you doing? 298 00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:24,787 - Hey, nice to meet you. - Good to meet you. Yeah. 299 00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:26,237 I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, 300 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:27,583 - then we can head out, okay? - Yeah, yeah. No problem. Yeah. 301 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,103 I pretended that I had to go to the bathroom too, 302 00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:33,209 but in reality, it was just so I could transfer the sample 303 00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:36,178 from the secret urinal chamber into the specimen cup 304 00:11:36,281 --> 00:11:38,387 while it was still fresh. 305 00:11:41,528 --> 00:11:43,495 Meanwhile, one of my production assistants 306 00:11:43,599 --> 00:11:45,808 informed Brendan that our day was going to be filmed 307 00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,362 for a documentary about Craigslist hangouts, 308 00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:51,055 and Brendan seemed more than happy to participate. 309 00:11:51,158 --> 00:11:52,401 Yeah, sure. 310 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,920 With his sample sealed, I hid it 311 00:11:54,023 --> 00:11:55,369 underneath a hollowed-out candle 312 00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:58,200 and then lit the wick to signal to my unpaid intern 313 00:11:58,303 --> 00:12:01,203 that it was ready to be taken to the lab for testing. 314 00:12:01,306 --> 00:12:02,514 And with the sample secured, 315 00:12:02,618 --> 00:12:05,552 I could finally begin my day with Brendan. 316 00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:07,381 I just wanted to be clear before we leave, 317 00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:08,693 I posted in the platonic section, 318 00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:09,832 but I know a lot of people 319 00:12:09,936 --> 00:12:11,558 on there were looking for sexual stuff. 320 00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:13,180 - That's not you, right? - No, no, no, no, no. 321 00:12:13,284 --> 00:12:14,492 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Okay, good. 322 00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:15,665 Just wanted to make sure. 323 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,150 - Sorry, no. - Okay, cool. 324 00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,599 I'm just looking for someone to hang out with. 325 00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:19,773 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - That's--'Cause I-- 326 00:12:19,877 --> 00:12:21,016 Okay, great. 327 00:12:21,119 --> 00:12:22,500 And with both of us on the same page, 328 00:12:22,603 --> 00:12:24,536 it was time to have some fun. 329 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,090 I had planned several activities 330 00:12:26,193 --> 00:12:28,609 that I hoped would raise Brendan's dopamine levels 331 00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:30,301 enough to get the results I needed. 332 00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:31,647 Buckle up. 333 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,338 And as we headed to our first destination, 334 00:12:33,442 --> 00:12:34,788 we got to know each other. 335 00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:37,377 Like, "Star Wars," you had the red and blue factor. 336 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,863 You had-- the dark side was the red, 337 00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:45,281 and the light side was, um, blue. 338 00:12:45,385 --> 00:12:48,768 In "The Matrix," you had the red pill or the blue pill. 339 00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:49,769 Okay. 340 00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:50,804 In "Shaun of the Dead," 341 00:12:50,908 --> 00:12:53,151 the little cone that he ate was red. 342 00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,187 Okay. 343 00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:57,915 In "Hot Fuzz," the color was blue. 344 00:12:58,018 --> 00:13:01,884 In "Next Generation," if they wore blue, 345 00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:03,368 they typically would die. 346 00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:06,026 In the original series, it was red. 347 00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:11,894 It seemed like Brendan and I didn't have a lot in common, 348 00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:14,483 but I was hopeful that once he saw my fun side, 349 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,002 things would change. 350 00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:17,762 - All right. - So... 351 00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:20,040 We're gonna go into a hat store 352 00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:23,423 and try on silly hats. 353 00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:24,769 - Okay. Let's do it. - That's fun, right? 354 00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:26,564 - Yeah. - I mean, that's something-- 355 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,014 - Is that fun for you? - Yeah, let's do it. 356 00:13:28,117 --> 00:13:29,256 Okay, let's go. 357 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,396 - All right. - Oh, this is pretty cool. 358 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,089 Trying on hats is something everyone can enjoy, 359 00:13:34,192 --> 00:13:36,022 and it was the perfect way to show Brendan 360 00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:37,264 that I'm the type of guy 361 00:13:37,368 --> 00:13:39,301 who doesn't take himself too seriously. 362 00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:41,751 - This is what girls would wear. - Yeah. 363 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,202 I don't know about this one. 364 00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:47,171 But Brendan wasn't having the reaction I expected, 365 00:13:47,274 --> 00:13:48,517 and after we left, 366 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,381 I was doubtful his neurotransmitters 367 00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:53,315 were sufficiently raised by the hat-store experience, 368 00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:56,249 so I was counting on the day's next activity to do the trick. 369 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:57,526 You like go-karts? 370 00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,286 - Hell, yeah. - Yeah? 371 00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:01,633 Right away I could tell Brendan was excited. 372 00:14:01,737 --> 00:14:03,049 I've got to go with red 373 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:04,947 because of the red factor in "Star Trek." 374 00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:06,328 All right. 375 00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:07,777 Go-karting is like normal driving, 376 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,503 except the car is so much smaller, 377 00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,091 so the fun comes from the fact 378 00:14:11,195 --> 00:14:13,749 that you know your body is too big for the car, 379 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,509 and as we started going around the track, 380 00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:17,097 I could tell it was working, 381 00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:20,273 'cause Brendan was smiling from ear to ear. 382 00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:23,828 It seemed like his fun levels were peaking, 383 00:14:23,932 --> 00:14:25,657 so I wanted to get a second sample 384 00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,556 as quickly as possible. 385 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,559 But since waiting for his urine again could take hours, 386 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,872 I had a plan to get this sample immediately 387 00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:35,219 at a clinic via blood test. 388 00:14:35,322 --> 00:14:39,119 The only thing I had to do now was convince him to go. 389 00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:43,020 You know, I was thinking... 390 00:14:43,123 --> 00:14:45,850 we should do something totally random, you know? 391 00:14:45,954 --> 00:14:47,990 Yeah, is there something you want to do? 392 00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:49,681 I don't know. We should, like-- 393 00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:52,098 we should, like, go for, like, a blood test or something. 394 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:54,203 Like, wouldn't that be crazy? So random. 395 00:14:54,307 --> 00:14:57,827 Just go to a lab and get our blood drawn and stuff? 396 00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,002 A blood test? An actual blood test? 397 00:15:00,106 --> 00:15:02,763 Yeah. 398 00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:04,317 I haven't done-- Uh, yeah. 399 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,628 We can do that. That sounds cool. 400 00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,285 I mean, they're pretty fun to do. 401 00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:08,528 Yeah, let's go do a blood test. 402 00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:09,978 That'd be kind of cool. 403 00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:12,290 And with Brendan on board, we were off. 404 00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:16,432 Coming off the thrill of go-kart racing, 405 00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:19,263 I wanted to harvest Brendan's blood as quickly as possible, 406 00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:21,437 so we headed to a nearby medical clinic 407 00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:24,302 where I had prearranged for the necessary lab work. 408 00:15:24,406 --> 00:15:27,650 To make sure his levels didn't drop due to the un-fun setting, 409 00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:29,652 I asked the nurse if she'd be willing to hide 410 00:15:29,756 --> 00:15:32,000 an electronic fart machine on her person 411 00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,381 that I'd be able to activate by remote control 412 00:15:34,485 --> 00:15:35,486 during the blood draw. 413 00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:36,901 Do you think you could do that? 414 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:39,455 Um, I'll try my best. 415 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:41,147 My hope was that Brendan would think 416 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,631 they were real farts, 417 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,909 and that the fun of that would spike his dopamine levels 418 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:46,842 right as the blood was being taken. 419 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,327 - Who's going first? - I guess I'll go first. 420 00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:50,604 - Do you want to? Okay, yeah. - Okay. 421 00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:51,916 And with Brendan in his seat, 422 00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:54,954 it was time to see if this would work. 423 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,308 Sorry about that. 424 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:09,623 My apologies. 425 00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:16,113 Sorry. 426 00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:17,528 You have some gas today? 427 00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:18,839 Nope, I'm okay. 428 00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:20,082 - Oh, you're okay? - Yeah, sorry about that. 429 00:16:20,186 --> 00:16:21,428 Okay. That's okay. 430 00:16:26,123 --> 00:16:27,572 Oh, sorry. 431 00:16:27,676 --> 00:16:29,885 I mean, you should stay home if you're that sick. 432 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,473 I apologize for that. 433 00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:33,785 - I mean, if your bowels are-- - I'm okay. 434 00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:36,961 We're just done, so I will be stepping out in a moment. 435 00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:41,172 Sorry about that. 436 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,418 Upset stomach today. Sorry. 437 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:48,317 It's okay. 438 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,699 My apologies. 439 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,183 The farts were working, 440 00:16:52,287 --> 00:16:53,771 and it seemed like Brendan was having 441 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,221 the time of his life. 442 00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:57,671 All right, so I'm gonna do mine, and I'll see you. 443 00:16:57,775 --> 00:16:58,983 - Okay. - Okay, cool. 444 00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:00,985 That was great. Did you see he was laughing? 445 00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:02,711 - Yeah. That was good. - Okay. 446 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,092 So, with everything I needed, 447 00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:05,886 it was time to say good-bye to Brendan. 448 00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:07,854 I'll catch you on the flip side, man. 449 00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:09,476 - "Flip side"? - On the flip side. 450 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:10,581 It means "Catch you later, dude." 451 00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:12,686 - All right, see you, man. - Yeah, see you. 452 00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,379 But whether this would translate into actual science 453 00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:16,725 was still to be seen. 454 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,175 So, later that week, I returned 455 00:17:18,278 --> 00:17:21,695 to Dr. Whimsy's office, nervously awaiting the results. 456 00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:25,009 His serotonin when he started was within normal range. 457 00:17:25,113 --> 00:17:27,529 - The number was 87.22. - Uh-huh. 458 00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:32,396 The day of fun, it was 219.92, 459 00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:36,124 so it shot up 2.5 times what it initially was. 460 00:17:36,227 --> 00:17:37,159 Well, that's huge. 461 00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:38,678 They're very impressive numbers. 462 00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:42,992 So this person who was with you was not only having fun, 463 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,167 but they were happy, and they had a greater sense 464 00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:48,067 of well-being when they were with you. 465 00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:49,585 Wow. 466 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:52,105 Uh... 467 00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:54,245 Uh, that's amazing. 468 00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:57,006 'Cause, you know, I think a part of me 469 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,871 has always had this thing ever since I was a kid that, 470 00:17:59,975 --> 00:18:03,634 you know, people maybe don't like hanging out with me, 471 00:18:03,737 --> 00:18:04,980 and, you know, 472 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,844 even though they might say they're having fun, 473 00:18:06,947 --> 00:18:08,259 they're really not. 474 00:18:08,363 --> 00:18:10,779 And it's really hard to, you know, have those thoughts. 475 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,643 I think it can really take a toll 476 00:18:12,746 --> 00:18:14,127 on your self-esteem a bit. 477 00:18:14,231 --> 00:18:15,715 - You know? - Mm-hmm. 478 00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:18,235 But now if anyone questions me 479 00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:21,100 and ever says that I'm not fun 480 00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:23,102 or is uncomfortable hanging out with me, 481 00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,759 I can say, "No, you're wrong. 482 00:18:25,863 --> 00:18:30,247 I am fun, and it's been scientifically proven." 483 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,736 Uh, sorry. I just kind of opened up to you. 484 00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:38,082 - You're not--I don't know. - No, that's cool. 485 00:18:38,186 --> 00:18:39,152 - I think it's great. - Yeah. 486 00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:40,947 I think it's great. 487 00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:44,882 There was no denying it. 488 00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:46,435 After getting the data from Dr. Whimsy, 489 00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:49,714 I now had scientific proof that I am fun. 490 00:18:49,818 --> 00:18:52,165 But as I was looking over Brendan's results, 491 00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:55,306 I realized that if he enjoyed his time with me this much, 492 00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:58,585 maybe this could be more than just an experiment for my show. 493 00:18:58,689 --> 00:19:01,726 Maybe this could be the start of an actual friendship. 494 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,728 So, later that week, I arranged a meet-up 495 00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,247 at Brendan's apartment, 496 00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:07,698 because if this was gonna turn into something real, 497 00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:09,769 he deserved to know the truth. 498 00:19:09,872 --> 00:19:12,841 So, um, there's something I should tell you. 499 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:13,945 Okay. 500 00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:15,361 I mean, to start off a friendship, 501 00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:16,845 you need to start on the right foot, 502 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,296 and that means honesty. 503 00:19:19,399 --> 00:19:22,057 - Yeah, exactly. - So... 504 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,542 um... 505 00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,717 when we were first hanging out, 506 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:29,720 I was secretly collecting your urine 507 00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:31,791 to have it tested in the lab 508 00:19:31,894 --> 00:19:35,208 to see if your dopamine levels went up. 509 00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:40,040 Why would you do that? 510 00:19:40,144 --> 00:19:43,596 I wanted to see if you were having fun hanging out with me. 511 00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:46,357 I'm--I've never had anybody do that. 512 00:19:46,461 --> 00:19:47,703 I mean... 513 00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:51,190 you know, secretly, you know, taking my urine to find out 514 00:19:51,293 --> 00:19:53,088 if my dopamine levels went up or not. 515 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,607 I mean, I don't-- 516 00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:57,161 I mean, I know that's weird, but it was a one-time thing. 517 00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:58,438 It won't happen again, 518 00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:00,544 and I wanted to be honest with you, 519 00:20:00,647 --> 00:20:03,547 so now you know you can trust me. 520 00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:04,858 No... 521 00:20:04,962 --> 00:20:07,067 You-- No, you took my urine. 522 00:20:07,171 --> 00:20:09,760 I mean... 523 00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:11,865 I mean, if you're looking at it in a scientific way, 524 00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:14,178 you know, you did what you did, you know. 525 00:20:14,282 --> 00:20:16,939 I mean, it's not gonna hurt me. 526 00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:19,804 I mean, it's just urine. 527 00:20:19,908 --> 00:20:21,427 Am I still someone you'd want to be friends with? 528 00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:23,222 Yeah. I mean, you just took my urine. 529 00:20:23,325 --> 00:20:25,534 I mean, that's in the past, man. 530 00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:26,811 I'm fine. 531 00:20:26,915 --> 00:20:28,537 Let's--I want to go do something today, you know. 532 00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:30,643 Let's go do something exciting. 533 00:20:32,403 --> 00:20:33,956 - Oh. - Hey! 534 00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:36,165 ♪ Sunday morning of last week ♪ 535 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,029 ♪ Indulging in my self-defeat ♪ 536 00:20:40,618 --> 00:20:42,310 both: Aah! 537 00:20:42,413 --> 00:20:46,590 - ♪ I know it's up for me - ♪ If you steal my sunshine 538 00:20:46,693 --> 00:20:49,524 ♪ Making sure I'm not in too deep ♪ 539 00:20:49,627 --> 00:20:52,181 both: Aah! 540 00:20:54,874 --> 00:20:57,601 - ♪ If you steal my sunshine - Ah! That's awesome. 40410

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