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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,864 --> 00:00:04,383 MY NAME IS NATHAN FIELDER, 2 00:00:04,383 --> 00:00:06,765 AND I GRADUATED FROM ONE OF CANADA’S TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS 3 00:00:06,765 --> 00:00:09,078 WITH REALLY GOOD GRADES. 4 00:00:09,078 --> 00:00:11,459 NOW I’M USING MY KNOWLEDGE TO HELP 5 00:00:11,459 --> 00:00:12,874 STRUGGLING SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS 6 00:00:12,874 --> 00:00:15,118 MAKE IT IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD. 7 00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:27,234 THIS IS NATHAN FOR YOU. 8 00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:30,271 OVER 10 MILLION TOURISTS VISIT HOLLYWOOD EACH YEAR, 9 00:00:30,271 --> 00:00:33,033 AND SOUVENIR SHOPS COMPETE HARD TO SELL THEM ITEMS 10 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,690 THAT MOST WOULD CONSIDER EMBARRASSING TO OWN. 11 00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:38,797 BUT IN THE SOUVENIR GAME, LOCATION IS EVERYTHING. 12 00:00:38,797 --> 00:00:40,971 AND THAT’S WHY, TUCKED AWAY NEARLY FIVE BLOCKS 13 00:00:40,971 --> 00:00:44,561 FROM THE MAIN STRIP, L.A. FAME IS STRUGGLING. 14 00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:47,323 IT’S A SAD TALE, AND WITH BUSINESS THIS SLOW, 15 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:50,671 OWNER JOHN KIM HAS A TOUGH TIME FINDING THINGS TO BOAST ABOUT. 16 00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:53,536 RECENTLY, WE HAD SOMEONE FROM OF MICE & MEN COME IN-- 17 00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:55,641 FROM THE-- THEY’RE A ROCK BAND 18 00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,885 THAT’S PRETTY POPULAR RIGHT NOW. 19 00:00:57,885 --> 00:00:59,818 BUT OTHER THAN THAT, YOU KNOW... 20 00:00:59,818 --> 00:01:02,579 SO I PAID JOHN A VISIT TO SEE IF I COULD HELP. 21 00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:04,443 WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TOUK? 22 00:01:04,443 --> 00:01:05,651 A TOUK? WHAT-- 23 00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:07,136 - THIS. - OH. 24 00:01:07,136 --> 00:01:08,309 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? 25 00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:09,621 IT’S A BEANIE. SO THAT’S-- 26 00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:11,450 I’M FROM CANADA. WE CALL IT A "TOUK." 27 00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:12,658 - OH, OKAY. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 28 00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:13,866 YEAH, I’M JUST COLD RIGHT NOW. 29 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:14,867 THAT’S WHY I’M WEARING IT. 30 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,868 OH, OKAY. 31 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,111 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. - YEAH. 32 00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,664 - THAT’S COOL. - YEAH. 33 00:01:18,664 --> 00:01:22,116 MY MISSION WAS TO ATTRACT MORE TOURISTS TO L.A. FAME. 34 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,705 IF YOU’RE VISITING HOLLYWOOD, THERE’S NOTHING MORE EXCITING 35 00:01:24,705 --> 00:01:27,190 THAN SEEING THE MAGIC OF THE MOVIES UP CLOSE, 36 00:01:27,190 --> 00:01:29,019 SO IF JOHN REDESIGNED HIS STOREFRONT 37 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,987 TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE 38 00:01:30,987 --> 00:01:32,747 WAS ALWAYS BEING SHOT THERE, 39 00:01:32,747 --> 00:01:35,509 EVERY TOURIST ON THE STRIP WOULD FLOCK TO L.A. FAME 40 00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:37,407 TO SEE THE ACTION UP CLOSE. 41 00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:39,616 THEN ALL I NEED TO DO IS OFFER EACH TOURIST 42 00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:40,893 A PART IN THE MOVIE. 43 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,171 THEIR ROLE? 44 00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:44,725 A PAYING CUSTOMER AT A SOUVENIR SHOP. 45 00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:47,452 OKAY. OKAY. 46 00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:48,936 - TOURISTS GET VERY EXCITED... - YEAH. 47 00:01:48,936 --> 00:01:51,835 AROUND CELEBRITIES AND MOVIE SETS, 48 00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:53,251 SO THEY WOULDN’T THINK RATIONALLY. 49 00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:54,252 YEAH. 50 00:01:54,252 --> 00:01:55,425 ONCE YOU HAVE THE CROWD HERE, 51 00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:58,601 IT BECOMES VERY EASY TO SELL TO THEM. 52 00:01:58,601 --> 00:01:59,981 YEAH, MAYBE. 53 00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:02,432 JOHN WAS ONBOARD, SO TO MAKE L.A. FAME 54 00:02:02,432 --> 00:02:05,228 LOOK AS MUCH LIKE A REAL MOVIE SET AS POSSIBLE, 55 00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,816 I RENTED SOME LIGHTS AND EQUIPMENT 56 00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:09,163 AND SET THEM UP OUTSIDE OF HIS SHOP. 57 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,924 NEXT, TO MAKE THE MOVIE TRULY EXCITING FOR TOURISTS, 58 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,306 I HIRED PROFESSIONAL JOHNNY DEPP IMPERSONATOR 59 00:02:14,306 --> 00:02:17,275 RONNIE RODRIGUEZ, WHO I HOPED WOULD CONVINCINGLY PASS 60 00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:19,035 FOR THE REAL JOHNNY FROM A DISTANCE. 61 00:02:19,035 --> 00:02:21,693 I ALSO HIRED A WORSE JOHNNY DEPP IMPERSONATOR 62 00:02:21,693 --> 00:02:23,281 TO ACT AS A STAND-IN 63 00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:26,007 AND MAKE RONNIE LOOK BETTER BY COMPARISON. 64 00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:27,388 WITH EVERYTHING IN PLACE, 65 00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:28,458 THE FAKE MOVIE SHOOT BEGAN. 66 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:29,666 ACTION. 67 00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:31,081 AS I PRETENDED TO DIRECT, 68 00:02:31,081 --> 00:02:33,222 TOURISTS SLOWLY BEGAN TO GATHER. 69 00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,257 CUT. 70 00:02:34,257 --> 00:02:35,431 LET’S DO ANOTHER TAKE OF THAT. 71 00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:36,949 THAT WAS REALLY GOOD, GUYS. 72 00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:39,435 AND EXCITEMENT WAS BUILDING AROUND OUR CELEBRITY STAR. 73 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:44,164 YEAH, IT’S AMAZING. YEAH. 74 00:02:49,341 --> 00:02:51,136 AND ONCE WE GAVE THEM A TINY PEEK OF JOHNNY... 75 00:02:51,136 --> 00:02:52,275 WHOO-HOO, JOHNNY. 76 00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:54,277 THEY WERE PUTTY IN MY HANDS, 77 00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:56,486 AND IT WAS TIME TO SELL SOME SOUVENIRS. 78 00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:57,936 HI, EVERYONE. 79 00:02:57,936 --> 00:02:59,593 SO AS YOU CAN SEE, WE’RE FILMING A MOVIE HERE. 80 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,284 IT’S CALLED THE WEB. 81 00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:03,907 IT’S ABOUT A HACKER, PLAYED BY JOHNNY DEPP, 82 00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:06,393 WHO HAS TO HACK INTO AN ASTEROID 83 00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:08,084 TO STOP IT FROM HITTING THE EARTH. 84 00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:09,327 OKAY. 85 00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,121 SO THIS IS A LITTLE BIT UNORTHODOX, 86 00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:13,331 BUT WE NEED SOME EXTRAS TO BE IN THE SCENE. 87 00:03:13,331 --> 00:03:14,849 I DON’T KNOW--IS THAT OKAY? IS ANYONE INTERESTED? 88 00:03:14,849 --> 00:03:16,161 RIGHT HERE. 89 00:03:16,161 --> 00:03:17,438 REALLY? OH, WOW. 90 00:03:17,438 --> 00:03:18,922 WITH NO SHORTAGE OF VOLUNTEERS, 91 00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:20,269 I HAD THEM BROUGHT TO SET 92 00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:21,856 ONE AT A TIME TO GIVE THEM THEIR DIRECTION. 93 00:03:21,856 --> 00:03:22,995 LET ME JUST EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. 94 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:23,996 OKAY. 95 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,067 GO INTO THE STORE, 96 00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,137 BUY AN ITEM, AND THEN LEAVE. 97 00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,622 OKAY, COOL. 98 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:29,795 OKAY, SO, ON ACTION. READY? 99 00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:33,489 - YES. - ACTION. 100 00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:35,111 YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO SO FAST, SIR. 101 00:03:35,111 --> 00:03:36,561 - YOU CAN SLOW DOWN. - OKAY. 102 00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,632 IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN OSCAR-WORTHY PERFORMANCE... 103 00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:39,978 $6.53. 104 00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:41,842 BUT OUR FIRST CUSTOMER OF THE DAY LEFT HAPPY. 105 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:43,292 - THANK YOU. - OKAY, THANK YOU. 106 00:03:43,292 --> 00:03:44,293 HAVE A NICE DAY. 107 00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:45,535 I GAVE EACH EXTRA SOME DIRECTION 108 00:03:45,535 --> 00:03:46,536 AND LET THEM RUN WITH IT. 109 00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:48,883 SO I NEED YOU TO GO IN THERE, 110 00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:50,437 PICK OUT AN ITEM, BUY IT, AND THEN LEAVE. 111 00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:52,128 - OKAY. - OKAY. 112 00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:53,405 OKAY, SO I NEED YOU TO GO IN THERE, 113 00:03:53,405 --> 00:03:55,407 BUY SOMETHING, THEN LEAVE. 114 00:03:55,407 --> 00:03:56,408 - OKAY. - OKAY. 115 00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:57,858 MY PLAN WAS WORKING BEAUTIFULLY, 116 00:03:57,858 --> 00:04:00,688 AS TOURISTS WERE BUYING ITEMS IN A STEADY STREAM. 117 00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:03,450 THE SCENE WAS FAKE, BUT THESE SALES WERE REAL, 118 00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:05,624 AND CUSTOMERS WERE THRILLED WITH THEIR PURCHASES. 119 00:04:05,624 --> 00:04:06,694 DID YOU PAY FOR THAT? 120 00:04:06,694 --> 00:04:07,730 YEAH. 121 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:08,696 OKAY, SO IT’S YOURS THEN. 122 00:04:08,696 --> 00:04:10,111 OH. 123 00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:12,286 BUT EACH TRANSACTION WAS JUST FOR A SMALL AMOUNT, 124 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,323 SO I TOOK JOHN’S PLACE TO SHOW HIM 125 00:04:14,323 --> 00:04:16,670 HOW HE COULD GET CUSTOMERS TO SPEND MORE. 126 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,774 OH, HELLO, OFFICER SUZANNE. 127 00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:19,086 HI. 128 00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,812 HOW’S THE HACKER INVESTIGATION GOING? 129 00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:24,781 UM--WAIT, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 130 00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:26,231 OH, JUST SAY, "NO LEADS YET." 131 00:04:26,231 --> 00:04:27,267 OKAY. 132 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,302 GO AHEAD. 133 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,131 OH, NO LEADS YET AT ALL, SO... 134 00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,685 - OKAY. - MM-MM. 135 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,687 WELL, I HAVE THE STUFF YOU ASKED ME TO PUT ASIDE. 136 00:04:33,687 --> 00:04:34,757 MM-HMM. 137 00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:36,137 THAT’LL BE $87, PLEASE. 138 00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:37,449 OKAY. 139 00:04:37,449 --> 00:04:39,658 HERE WE ARE. 140 00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:40,659 OH, THANK YOU. 141 00:04:40,659 --> 00:04:44,249 YOU’RE VERY WELCOME. 142 00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:48,322 ARE YOU ACTUALLY, LIKE, CHARGING IT TO MY CARD? 143 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,462 - YOU’RE BREAKING CHARACTER. - OKAY. 144 00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:51,912 - JUST SAY, "THANK YOU." - THANK YOU. 145 00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:52,982 OKAY, YES. 146 00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:55,364 $87 IN A SINGLE TRANSACTION 147 00:04:55,364 --> 00:04:57,849 WAS UNPRECEDENTED FOR A SOUVENIR SHOP, 148 00:04:57,849 --> 00:05:00,783 BUT I SOON DISCOVERED I WASN’T IN THE CLEAR YET. 149 00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:03,268 SO YOU HAD A QUESTION ABOUT SOMETHING OR... 150 00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:05,995 YEAH, I MEAN, I DON’T WANT THIS STUFF, BUT-- 151 00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:07,548 - OH, DO YOU WANT A REFUND? - YEAH. 152 00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:09,757 I HAD ANTICIPATED THAT PEOPLE MIGHT WANT THEIR MONEY BACK, 153 00:05:09,757 --> 00:05:11,587 SO I CAME UP WITH A PLAN THAT WOULD HOPEFULLY 154 00:05:11,587 --> 00:05:12,726 MAKE THEM RECONSIDER. 155 00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:14,210 - THIS MOVIE STARS JOHNNY DEPP. - YEAH. 156 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,763 I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNEW, 157 00:05:15,763 --> 00:05:18,076 BUT HE WAS WATCHING THE FOOTAGE... 158 00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:19,077 YEAH. 159 00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:20,216 ON THE MONITOR VIEW, 160 00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:21,251 AND HE JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE, 161 00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,494 LIKE, THE MOST NATURAL ACTRESS. 162 00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:23,909 - HAVE YOU ACTED BEFORE? - NO, NEVER. 163 00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:25,497 - YOU’VE NEVER? - MM-MM. 164 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:27,603 IF YOU WANT, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET YOU IN THERE TO MEET HIM. 165 00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:29,363 YEAH, IF HE DOESN’T MIND, I MEAN... 166 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,364 YEAH, I MEAN... 167 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,056 OKAY. 168 00:05:33,056 --> 00:05:34,126 - JOHNNY? - YES? 169 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,127 YOU DECENT? 170 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,474 HEY. 171 00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:38,199 JOHNNY, THIS IS CARTER, THE ACTRESS YOU JUST-- 172 00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:39,373 - HI. - OH, HI. 173 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,512 - HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU. 174 00:05:40,512 --> 00:05:42,100 - NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. - HOW YOU DOING? 175 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:43,239 - I’M GOOD. - WOW, SO... 176 00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:45,034 I HEARD YOU DID A GOOD JOB ON THE SCENE. 177 00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:46,415 OH, THANK YOU. 178 00:05:46,415 --> 00:05:47,933 ARE YOU A-- YOU’RE A FAN OF HIS, OR... 179 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:48,934 - OF COURSE. - OH, REALLY? 180 00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,108 OF COURSE I AM. 181 00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:51,454 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, COME ON. 182 00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:52,455 REALLY? 183 00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:53,732 - GOOD. - GOOD, IT’S A-- 184 00:05:53,732 --> 00:05:55,113 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 185 00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:57,598 DO YOU WANT HIM TO SIGN SOME STUFF FOR YOU? 186 00:05:57,598 --> 00:05:58,737 LIKE, IN HERE? 187 00:05:58,737 --> 00:05:59,773 YEAH. 188 00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:01,015 I MEAN-- OH, WAIT. 189 00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:02,707 YOU DID-- YOU WANTED TO RETURN THOSE? 190 00:06:02,707 --> 00:06:04,985 OH, REALLY? WELL-- 191 00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:07,021 IF HE SIGNS THEM, WE CAN’T RETURN THEM, SO... 192 00:06:07,021 --> 00:06:10,611 YEAH, WELL, IF HE SIGNS ONE, CAN’T YOU-- 193 00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:12,199 CAN YOU, OR NO? NO? 194 00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:13,821 HE USUALLY LIKES TO SIGN EVERYTHING. 195 00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:14,822 I CAN-- 196 00:06:14,822 --> 00:06:16,168 ALL RIGHT. 197 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,549 LET ME SEE. 198 00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:20,828 I CAN’T SAY NO TO AN AUTOGRAPH, I MEAN... 199 00:06:20,828 --> 00:06:22,968 "TO MY FAVORITE--" RUM SHOULD PROBABLY GO IN HERE. 200 00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,556 IT WAS A TENSE 15 MINUTES 201 00:06:24,556 --> 00:06:27,939 AS RONNIE SIGNED EVERYTHING IN HER BASKET. 202 00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:30,148 SO WHEN IS THIS MOVIE SUPPOSED TO BE COMING OUT? 203 00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:31,529 UM... 204 00:06:31,529 --> 00:06:33,393 BUT IN THE END, SHE KEPT ALL HER SOUVENIRS 205 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,222 AND WENT HOME HAPPY. 206 00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,293 AND AS THE DAY PROGRESSED, WE GOT BETTER AND BETTER 207 00:06:37,293 --> 00:06:39,882 AT GETTING CUSTOMERS TO MAKE BIG PURCHASES. 208 00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:44,162 YOUR CHARACTER IS A CUSTOMER WHO LOVES TO SPEND MONEY. 209 00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:48,718 HE’S RICH, AND HE LOVES TO JUST BUY SOUVENIRS. 210 00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:49,961 SO THAT’S YOUR MOTIVATION. 211 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:50,996 ACTION. 212 00:06:50,996 --> 00:06:51,997 AND PEOPLE SEEMED TO BE 213 00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,585 EMBRACING THEIR ROLES. 214 00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:55,415 I’M GONNA GIVE MYSELF AN OSCAR FOR BEING SO RICH. 215 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,244 - HOW’S THAT? - ALL RIGHT. 216 00:06:57,244 --> 00:06:58,418 OVER THE COURSE OF THE DAY, 217 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,281 WE SOLD A RECORD NUMBER OF SOUVENIRS. 218 00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:02,560 THE TOTAL COMES OUT TO $170.92. 219 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,147 $170... 220 00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:06,184 AND EVEN THOUGH THE AUTOGRAPHS MAY HAVE BEEN FAKE, 221 00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:09,359 THE MEMORIES THESE REGULAR FOLKS TOOK HOME THAT DAY 222 00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:11,672 WOULD LAST A LIFETIME. 223 00:07:11,672 --> 00:07:14,364 AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, I WANTED TO SEE IF JOHN 224 00:07:14,364 --> 00:07:16,366 PLANNED TO KEEP USING MY SALES METHOD. 225 00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:18,161 IS THIS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP DOING? 226 00:07:18,161 --> 00:07:20,094 UM... 227 00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:22,096 NO, I MEAN-- 228 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:23,132 MAYBE. MAYBE, YEAH. 229 00:07:23,132 --> 00:07:24,720 MAYBE? SO-- OKAY. 230 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,549 - YEAH. - THAT’S GOOD. 231 00:07:26,549 --> 00:07:29,449 UNFORTUNATELY, RONNIE, THE JOHNNY DEPP IMPERSONATOR, 232 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,830 HAS LIMITED AVAILABILITY OUTSIDE OF TODAY. 233 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,004 RIGHT. 234 00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:35,282 SO I FOUND ANOTHER IMPERSONATOR 235 00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:37,111 THAT COULD REPLACE HIM, PERHAPS, 236 00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:38,181 IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE THIS. 237 00:07:38,181 --> 00:07:41,219 OKAY. 238 00:07:41,219 --> 00:07:43,911 THIS IS WILLIAM. 239 00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:46,811 HE’S A PROFESSIONAL BILL GATES IMPERSONATOR. 240 00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,191 OKAY. 241 00:07:48,191 --> 00:07:51,125 WHY DON’T YOU GIVE HIM A LITTLE TASTE OF BILL? 242 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,645 YES, IT’S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE. 243 00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:58,167 YOU KNOW, WHEN WE STARTED OUR COMPUTERS, 244 00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:01,170 UM, BACK IN THE ’80s, 245 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,999 IT WAS HUGE. 246 00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:04,000 AND THE BUSINESS-- 247 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,382 THEY WERE HUGE MACHINES. 248 00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,212 YOU KNOW, WE STARTED-- I STARTED IN A GARAGE. 249 00:08:09,212 --> 00:08:11,249 OKAY, I THINK THAT-- YEAH, THAT’S ENOUGH PROBABLY. 250 00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:12,388 SO, YEAH, 251 00:08:12,388 --> 00:08:14,114 YOU DO THIS FOR A LIVING, RIGHT? 252 00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,322 - YES, SIR. - OKAY. 253 00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:16,530 YEAH, WELL, I’LL LEAVE YOU GUYS 254 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,842 TO WORK OUT THE DETAILS, I GUESS. 255 00:08:17,842 --> 00:08:19,395 - OKAY. - YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE. 256 00:08:19,395 --> 00:08:20,879 BUT, YEAH, GREAT TO MEET YOU. 257 00:08:20,879 --> 00:08:21,984 - GREAT TO MEET YOU. - ALL RIGHT, SEE YA. 258 00:08:21,984 --> 00:08:24,262 - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU. 259 00:08:24,262 --> 00:08:25,919 UM, I MEAN... 260 00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:29,785 WELL, I HOPE EVERYBODY BUYS MICROSOFT-- 261 00:08:29,785 --> 00:08:33,236 CONTINUES-- CONTINUE THE BUSINESS. 262 00:08:33,236 --> 00:08:35,342 WE CAN ALWAYS USE IT, 263 00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:38,310 AND WE’RE SO GRATEFUL THAT-- 264 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,381 WHAT WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. 265 00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:41,382 OKAY. 266 00:08:41,382 --> 00:08:42,383 WHAT YOU-- 267 00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,250 UM... 268 00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:52,704 I ASSUME THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING, 269 00:08:52,704 --> 00:08:54,154 BUT IN MAKING THIS SHOW, 270 00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:57,122 I ENSURE THAT EVERY IDEA I PRESENT TO A BUSINESS I HELP 271 00:08:57,122 --> 00:08:59,849 IS COMPLETELY, 100% LEGAL. 272 00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:02,818 HOWEVER, IN THE WEEKS SINCE HELPING L.A. FAME, 273 00:09:02,818 --> 00:09:04,336 I DISCOVERED THAT CERTAIN ELEMENTS 274 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,028 OF MY MARKETING PLAN 275 00:09:06,028 --> 00:09:09,100 MAY HAVE ACTUALLY CONSTITUTED FRAUD. 276 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,136 AND THAT’S NOT GOOD. 277 00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:12,621 WHEN I FINISHED UP WITH JOHN, 278 00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:15,140 I ASSUMED MY WORK WITH HIS BUSINESS WAS DONE, 279 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,728 BUT THEN OUR PRODUCTION BEGAN RECEIVING 280 00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:19,351 SEVERAL EMAILS FROM SOUVENIR SHOP CUSTOMERS 281 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,491 ASKING WHEN THE WEB, MY FAKE MOVIE, 282 00:09:21,491 --> 00:09:23,252 WAS COMING OUT IN THEATERS. 283 00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:25,254 NOT KNOWING HOW TO RESPOND TO THESE EMAILS, 284 00:09:25,254 --> 00:09:27,428 I MET WITH RETIRED CALIFORNIA STATE JUDGE 285 00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:30,224 THE HONORABLE ANTHONY FILOSA FOR SOME GUIDANCE. 286 00:09:30,224 --> 00:09:31,225 IT’S FRAUD. 287 00:09:31,225 --> 00:09:32,951 THEFT, BASICALLY. 288 00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,746 - THEFT AND FRAUD? - YES. 289 00:09:34,746 --> 00:09:37,093 WHAT YOU DID WAS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. 290 00:09:37,093 --> 00:09:38,854 IT CAN BE PUNISHED BY A MISDEMEANOR 291 00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,027 OR BY A FELONY 292 00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:42,685 DEPENDING ON THE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVOLVED. 293 00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,342 YOU’RE ADMITTING TO ME THAT-- 294 00:09:44,342 --> 00:09:45,792 NO, I DIDN’T ADMIT ANYTHING. 295 00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:47,725 WELL, YOU SAID THAT YOU DID NOT INTEND 296 00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,450 TO MAKE A MOVIE. 297 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:51,073 SO HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS? 298 00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:52,350 YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS. 299 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:55,595 YOU COULD MAKE AN OFFER TO REFUND THE MONEY. 300 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,941 THAT WOULD BE ONE WAY. 301 00:09:56,941 --> 00:09:59,426 OR, OF COURSE, ACTUALLY MAKE THE FILM. 302 00:09:59,426 --> 00:10:02,256 SO IF THE WEB WERE A REAL MOVIE, 303 00:10:02,256 --> 00:10:03,913 THEN I WOULD BE COVERED? 304 00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,432 YES. YES. 305 00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:06,744 JUDGE FILOSA HAD GIVEN ME 306 00:10:06,744 --> 00:10:08,711 A GREAT WAY TO BEAT A FRAUD CHARGE. 307 00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:12,094 I’D EDIT THE FOOTAGE WE SHOT AT L.A. FAME INTO A MOVIE, 308 00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:14,027 BUT THIS TASK PROVED TO BE DIFFICULT. 309 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:17,375 IT WAS ALL JUST RANDOM SCENES WITH CUSTOMERS, NO STORY. 310 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,101 I KNEW THIS WOULDN’T HOLD UP, 311 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:20,550 SO I SPEND THE NIGHT WRITING A SCRIPT 312 00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,242 THAT WOULD WEAVE THE CUSTOMER FOOTAGE 313 00:10:22,242 --> 00:10:23,795 INTO A CLEAR NARRATIVE. 314 00:10:23,795 --> 00:10:25,176 TO MAKE IT MORE COMPELLING, 315 00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:27,765 I ADDED A LOVE STORY FOR MY CHARACTER 316 00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:30,250 AND CAST AN ACTRESS TO PLAY MY GIRLFRIEND, 317 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,561 AND LATER THAT WEEK, 318 00:10:31,561 --> 00:10:33,771 WE OFFICIALLY BEGAN PRODUCTION ON THE WEB. 319 00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:37,395 HAVE YOU EVER DONE AN ON-CAMERA KISS BEFORE, OR... 320 00:10:37,395 --> 00:10:38,603 - I HAVE, YEAH. - OH, YEAH? YEAH. 321 00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:39,742 - HAVE YOU? - WHAT? 322 00:10:39,742 --> 00:10:40,950 - HAVE YOU? - OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 323 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,089 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. - OKAY, COOL. 324 00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:43,332 IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE KISSING. 325 00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:44,644 IT’S LIKE OUR CHARACTERS ARE KISSING. 326 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,645 - OH, SURE, YEAH. - YEAH, YEAH. 327 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,163 SO IT’S, LIKE, YOU KNOW, 328 00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,925 IT’S NOT, LIKE, A BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING. 329 00:10:49,925 --> 00:10:51,478 - NO. - YEAH, YEAH. 330 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:52,859 AFTER SOME ACTOR-TO-ACTOR TALK, 331 00:10:52,859 --> 00:10:53,860 WE BEGAN THE SCENE. 332 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:56,345 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, RICHARD. 333 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:58,174 I LOVE YOU TOO, ALLISON. 334 00:10:58,174 --> 00:10:59,589 COME HERE. 335 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,803 I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU. 336 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:08,460 I KNOW. 337 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,152 I HAVEN’T DONE THIS BEFORE. 338 00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:12,016 IT’S OKAY. 339 00:11:12,016 --> 00:11:13,465 IT WAS A BIT OF A ROCKY START 340 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,433 AS MY NERVES KEPT GETTING IN THE WAY. 341 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,228 AND AS THE TAKES WENT ON, 342 00:11:17,228 --> 00:11:18,919 I WAS HAVING TROUBLE STAYING IN CHARACTER 343 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:22,164 BECAUSE I WAS REALLY ENJOYING THE KISSES. 344 00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:25,270 BUT WITH TIME, OUR CHEMISTRY BECAME VERY NATURAL, 345 00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,999 AND AFTER CALLING RONNIE BACK TO SHOOT SOME ADDITIONAL SCENES, 346 00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:33,693 I FELT LIKE WE HAD ENOUGH TO MAKE A SOMEWHAT LOGICAL FILM. 347 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,419 SO I RETURNED TO JUDGE FILOSA AND SHOWED HIM THE ENTIRE MOVIE 348 00:11:36,419 --> 00:11:39,043 TO SEE IF WE WERE IN THE CLEAR. 349 00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,838 SO THIS IS IT? 350 00:11:40,838 --> 00:11:42,080 IT’S A ROUGH CUT. 351 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,875 IF THIS IS YOUR DEFENSE 352 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:45,256 AND IT’S IN FRONT OF A JURY, 353 00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:47,085 THEY’D LAUGH YOU OUT OF THE COURTROOM. 354 00:11:47,085 --> 00:11:48,086 BUT THIS-- 355 00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:49,743 YOU SAID ANYTHING CAN BE A MOVIE. 356 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,262 NO, BUT I-- 357 00:11:51,262 --> 00:11:53,816 I’M ASSUMING A MOVIE HAS TO HAVE SOME KIND OF A PLOT. 358 00:11:53,816 --> 00:11:55,231 THERE’S A PLOT. 359 00:11:55,231 --> 00:11:56,508 WHAT’S THE PLOT? 360 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,889 HE WOULD SAVE THE WORLD THROUGH HACKING. 361 00:11:57,889 --> 00:11:59,132 GOING INTO A STORE? 362 00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:00,202 JUDGE FILOSA’S REACTION 363 00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:01,790 WAS BEGINNING TO WORRY ME, 364 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,861 BUT THEN HE OFFERED A GLIMMER OF HOPE. 365 00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:07,002 IF IT WAS ACCEPTED BY THE SHOWBIZ COMMUNITY 366 00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:09,280 AS A MOVIE AND WON AN AWARD, THEN I-- 367 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,591 THE COURT WOULD HAVE TO TAKE THAT 368 00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:13,215 INTO CONSIDERATION, WOULDN’T IT? 369 00:12:13,215 --> 00:12:14,354 HE WAS RIGHT. 370 00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:15,665 WINNING AN AWARD WAS THE PERFECT WAY 371 00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,978 TO MAKE MY MOVIE SOMEWHAT CREDIBLE. 372 00:12:17,978 --> 00:12:20,463 SO I SENT COPIES OF THE WEB TO SEVERAL FILM FESTIVALS 373 00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:23,812 IN THE HOPE IT WOULD BE ACCEPTED INTO COMPETITION. 374 00:12:23,812 --> 00:12:25,779 BUT AFTER GETTING NOTHING BUT REJECTION LETTERS, 375 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,540 IT SEEMS LIKE I ONLY HAD 376 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,957 TO START A FILM FESTIVAL OF MY OWN. 377 00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:34,098 SO I CAME UP WITH A NAME, LOGO, AND ENTRY FORM, 378 00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:36,963 AND THEN SUBMITTED THE WEB IN THE SHORT FILM CATEGORY. 379 00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:39,310 BUT AN AWARD FROM MY FESTIVAL WOULD MEAN NOTHING 380 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,278 WITHOUT A RESPECTED NAME FROM THE FILM INDUSTRY INVOLVED, 381 00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:43,590 SO I MADE SOME CALLS... 382 00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:46,110 PERSONALLY, I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK. 383 00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:47,214 AND WAS ABLE TO LAND 384 00:12:47,214 --> 00:12:49,044 THE SECOND UNIT SCRIPT SUPERVISOR 385 00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:51,356 FROM THE OSCAR-WINNING MOVIE BONNIE AND CLYDE 386 00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:52,944 TO JUDGE THE FILM. 387 00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:56,120 YOU KNOW, I DIDN’T SEE ANY CONTINUITY ERRORS AT ALL. 388 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,397 THANK YOU. 389 00:12:57,397 --> 00:12:59,123 IS THAT WHAT A SCRIPT SUPERVISOR DOES? 390 00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:01,090 ALL I NEEDED NOW WAS AT LEAST ONE OTHER FILM 391 00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:03,196 THAT THE WEBWOULD HAVE A CHANCE OF BEATING, 392 00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:06,130 AND AFTER A BIT OF SEARCHING, I FOUND A CONTENDER-- 393 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:09,858 A 90-SECOND CLIP OF NOTHING BUT A MAN FARTING. 394 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,207 AND WITH A VENUE SECURED, 395 00:13:14,207 --> 00:13:17,244 IT WAS TIME FOR THE FESTIVAL TO BEGIN. 396 00:13:17,244 --> 00:13:18,590 TURNOUT TO MY FESTIVAL WAS SLIM, 397 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,316 WITH ONLY A FEW PEOPLE FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD 398 00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:21,559 BUYING TICKETS, 399 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:22,836 BUT THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED 400 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,114 WAS THAT OUR INDUSTRY JUDGE HAD ARRIVED, 401 00:13:25,114 --> 00:13:28,014 AND WITH CRAYTON IN HIS SEAT, IT WAS TIME TO START THE SHOW. 402 00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:29,774 WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANNUAL 403 00:13:29,774 --> 00:13:34,814 EASTERN LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. 404 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,266 TODAY IS THE SHORT FILM COMPETITION, 405 00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,509 AND I’M EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE 406 00:13:40,509 --> 00:13:42,373 THAT JUDGING OUR SELECTION OF SHORTS 407 00:13:42,373 --> 00:13:46,826 IS INDUSTRY LEGEND CRAYTON SMITH, 408 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,208 WHO YOU MIGHT KNOW FROM BEING THE SCRIPT SUPERVISOR 409 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,554 ON BONNIE AND CLYDE. 410 00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:54,005 SO YOU KNOW IF HE PICKS A FILM AS THE WINNER, 411 00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,697 IT’S DEFINITELY A REAL FILM. 412 00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,460 COME HERE A SECOND. 413 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:01,633 OH. 414 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,842 BONNIE AND CLYDE, 415 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,912 I WAS JUST THE SECOND UNIT, SO... 416 00:14:03,912 --> 00:14:04,913 JUST SECOND UNIT? 417 00:14:04,913 --> 00:14:06,431 I HAD NO CREDIT OR ANYTHING. 418 00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:09,331 YOU’RE CREDITED ON IMDB FOR BONNIE AND CLYDE. 419 00:14:09,331 --> 00:14:10,642 YEAH, BUT ON THE WILD BUNCH, 420 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,368 MY CREDIT IS ON THE SCREEN AND... 421 00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:13,749 OH, OKAY, SURE. 422 00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:15,406 SO THE WILD BUNCH YOU’D RATHER ME SAY? 423 00:14:15,406 --> 00:14:17,132 YEAH, THAT’S FINE. 424 00:14:17,132 --> 00:14:19,065 SO CRAYTON JUST INFORMED ME THAT ACTUALLY 425 00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:22,551 HE WAS CREDITED AS A SCRIPT SUPERVISOR 426 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:24,001 ON THE WILD BUNCH,BUT-- 427 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,899 DID WORK ON BONNIE AND CLYDE, 428 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:29,454 BUT WAS NOT CREDITED. 429 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:35,012 OKAY, FIRST UP, WE HAVE A SCI-FI THRILLER 430 00:14:35,012 --> 00:14:36,082 CALLED THE WEB. 431 00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:37,773 PLEASE ENJOY. 432 00:14:44,055 --> 00:14:45,470 ♪ UH-HUH, THAT’S WHAT’S UP ♪ 433 00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,506 ♪ WHAT IT DO, HOMEGIRL 434 00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:48,853 ♪ IS WE DRINKING OR WHAT 435 00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:50,579 ♪ YEAH, BREAK IT OFF 436 00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,029 COMING IN ON WEEKENDS NOW, KIP? 437 00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:54,479 I’M A HACKER, MEL, NOT A SLACKER. 438 00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:55,998 COPS ARE GETTING SUSPICIOUS. 439 00:14:55,998 --> 00:14:57,206 YOU SHOULD GET YOUR OWN OFFICE, 440 00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,725 STOP USING MY BACK ROOM. 441 00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:01,762 WHATEVER, GRANDMA. 442 00:15:01,762 --> 00:15:04,144 ALL RIGHT, IT’S HACKING TIME. 443 00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:09,218 THANK YOU. 444 00:15:09,218 --> 00:15:11,703 HAVE A GOOD DAY. 445 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,947 HEY, BOSS, DID YOU SEE THIS? 446 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,053 MICROSOFT’S BEEN PUTTING MICROCHIPS INTO ASTEROIDS 447 00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:17,192 TO CONTROL THEM. 448 00:15:17,192 --> 00:15:18,987 THIS CAN’T BE GOOD. 449 00:15:18,987 --> 00:15:20,264 YOU SHOULD TELL KIP. 450 00:15:20,264 --> 00:15:22,887 RIGHT. 451 00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:24,751 WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, MR. GATES? 452 00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:28,824 CRAP, THE COPS ARE HERE. 453 00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:30,653 LET ME DISTRACT THEM WHILE YOU FIGURE THIS OUT. 454 00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,655 OKAY, COOL. 455 00:15:32,655 --> 00:15:34,347 OH, HELLO, OFFICER SUZANNE. 456 00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:35,624 HI. 457 00:15:35,624 --> 00:15:37,350 HOW’S THE HACKER INVESTIGATION GOING? 458 00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,489 GO AHEAD. 459 00:15:38,489 --> 00:15:40,111 OH, NO LEADS YET AT ALL, SO... 460 00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:43,183 OKAY. THAT’LL BE $87, PLEASE. 461 00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:47,705 DANGER. 462 00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:51,951 ASTEROID MICROCHIP MALFUNCTION. 463 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,091 OH, NO. 464 00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:56,576 WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG? 465 00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:58,440 I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. 466 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,787 I’VE WORKED SO HARD 467 00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:05,274 TO GET THIS COMPUTER PROJECT GOING. 468 00:16:05,274 --> 00:16:07,000 THIS IS UNHEARD OF. 469 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,553 WHAT’S GOING ON? 470 00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,969 IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE ASTEROIDS 471 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,625 ON A STRAIGHT TRAJECTORY TOWARDS EARTH. 472 00:16:11,625 --> 00:16:13,489 WE’LL ALL BE DEAD IN FIVE MINUTES. 473 00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:14,594 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 474 00:16:14,594 --> 00:16:15,733 THERE’S A MICROCHIP IN THERE. 475 00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:16,734 CAN’T YOU HACK IT? 476 00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:18,287 I’LL DO MY BEST. 477 00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,220 CRAP, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 478 00:16:24,121 --> 00:16:25,605 SORRY I HAD TO CALL YOU AWAY FROM WORK. 479 00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:27,365 THIS JUST MIGHT BE OUR LAST CHANCE 480 00:16:27,365 --> 00:16:29,505 TO SAY GOOD-BYE BEFORE THE ASTEROID HITS. 481 00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:32,992 OH, NO. 482 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,959 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, RICHARD. 483 00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:37,306 I LOVE YOU TOO, ALLISON. 484 00:16:37,306 --> 00:16:39,515 COME HERE. 485 00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:05,748 I HACKED FASTER THAN I’VE EVER HACKED BEFORE. 486 00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,923 WHEN WORD OF THE ASTEROID GOT OUT, 487 00:17:07,923 --> 00:17:10,201 PEOPLE WERE RACING TO GET SUPPLIES. 488 00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:11,340 EVERYONE WANTED SOUVENIRS 489 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:12,859 SO THEY COULD REMEMBER THE EARTH. 490 00:17:12,859 --> 00:17:13,860 AND PEOPLE WERE SAD. 491 00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,068 OH. 492 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,483 ANGRY MOBS FORMED ON THE STREET. 493 00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,280 THE ODDS OF ME STOPPING THIS ASTEROID WERE SLIM, 494 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,419 BUT I HAD TO TRY. 495 00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:24,008 ASTEROID ACCESS GRANTED. 496 00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:26,873 TRAJECTORY HAS BEEN REPROGRAMMED. 497 00:17:26,873 --> 00:17:28,702 I DID IT. 498 00:17:28,702 --> 00:17:30,152 YOU SAVED THE WORLD, KIP. 499 00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:32,154 ♪ THE TIME IS NOW, START THE DAY ♪ 500 00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:34,501 ♪ SET THE GOAL, GET UNDERWAY ♪ 501 00:17:34,501 --> 00:17:36,400 THE WEBWENT OVER AS EXPECTED, 502 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,678 AND NOW IT WAS TIME TO SEAL MY FATE 503 00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:39,955 AS THE BEST FILM OF THE NIGHT. 504 00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:42,751 OUR NEXT SHORT IS A DOCUMENTARY 505 00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:46,375 CALLED ME FARTING ON COMMAND. 506 00:18:20,168 --> 00:18:21,652 MY HOPE WAS THAT THE FART MOVIE 507 00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:23,792 SERVED ITS PURPOSE, 508 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,552 BECAUSE NOW THAT THE SCREENING WAS OVER, 509 00:18:25,552 --> 00:18:28,245 IT WAS UP TO OUR JUDGE TO PICK THE BEST SHORT, 510 00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:31,110 AND I NERVOUSLY AWAITED HIS DECISION. 511 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,285 OKAY, HERE YOU GO. 512 00:18:34,285 --> 00:18:35,321 ALL RIGHT. 513 00:18:41,775 --> 00:18:42,845 SELECTED THE WEB. 514 00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:43,846 I DID. 515 00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:44,847 ALL RIGHT. 516 00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:46,125 HAND ME THIS AWARD... 517 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,643 - ALL RIGHT. - FOR BEST SHORT FILM. 518 00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:48,782 HAND IT TO YOU NOW? 519 00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:50,508 - OH, YEAH. - OKAY, UH, THIS-- 520 00:18:50,508 --> 00:18:52,200 YOU DON’T NEED A SPEECH OR ANYTHING, YEAH. 521 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,201 - GOOD. - THANK YOU. 522 00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:54,202 I DID IT, 523 00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:55,203 AND WITH THE AWARD IN HAND, 524 00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:56,756 WE NOW HAD PROOF 525 00:18:56,756 --> 00:18:58,344 THAT MY MARKETING PLAN FOR L.A. FAME 526 00:18:58,344 --> 00:19:00,725 WAS 100% LEGAL. 527 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:02,141 MY WORK HERE WAS DONE, 528 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,659 BUT THERE WAS ONE MORE PERSON 529 00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:06,731 I WANTED TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS WITH. 530 00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,216 I WAS SO PROUD OF MY MOVIE’S SUCCESS, 531 00:19:08,216 --> 00:19:10,321 AND I COULDN’T WAIT TO TELL MY COSTAR, JESSEE. 532 00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,461 I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW, BUT THE FILM WE DID 533 00:19:12,461 --> 00:19:13,462 ACTUALLY WON AN AWARD. 534 00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:14,981 - WHAT? - YEAH. 535 00:19:14,981 --> 00:19:16,500 WHAT AWARD? 536 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,330 EASTERN LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. 537 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:20,504 ALL RIGHT, THAT’S EXCITING. 538 00:19:20,504 --> 00:19:21,505 IT’S EXCITING, YEAH. 539 00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:22,506 PRETTY GOOD. 540 00:19:22,506 --> 00:19:23,610 YEAH, YEAH. 541 00:19:23,610 --> 00:19:25,440 ANYWAYS, THERE WAS SOMETHING 542 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,546 I WANTED TO ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 543 00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:30,169 WHEN WE DID THAT-- 544 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,379 THE KISSING SCENE THAT WE DID, 545 00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:37,348 AND I TOLD YOU I WAS IN CHARACTER, 546 00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:41,180 BUT THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LIE. 547 00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:45,080 WELL, THAT’S OKAY. 548 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,047 I FEEL LIKE THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN 549 00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:49,947 SOME OF ME IN THERE, 550 00:19:49,947 --> 00:19:52,018 AND I GUESS I WAS WONDERING 551 00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:55,608 IF WHEN YOU DID THE KISS... 552 00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:57,748 HOW MUCH OF THAT WAS YOUR CHARACTER 553 00:19:57,748 --> 00:19:59,612 AND HOW MUCH OF THAT WAS YOU? 554 00:20:02,649 --> 00:20:06,550 UH... 555 00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:08,759 MEANING DID I, LIKE-- 556 00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:10,036 DID I WANT TO KISS YOU? 557 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:12,280 ME, JESSEE? 558 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,453 YEAH. 559 00:20:13,453 --> 00:20:16,801 UH... 560 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,493 I MEAN, 561 00:20:18,493 --> 00:20:22,151 IT WASN’T A BIG DEAL, 562 00:20:22,151 --> 00:20:24,188 BUT I PROBABLY WOULDN’T GRAB YOU ON THE STREET 563 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:28,261 AND JUST KISS YOU OUT OF NOWHERE. 564 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,263 GOOD TO KNOW, I GUESS. 565 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,058 - YEAH. - YEAH. 566 00:20:33,197 --> 00:20:36,165 IN THAT MOMENT, I FELT SORRY FOR JESSEE. 567 00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:38,133 TO SHARE A KISS WITH ANOTHER HUMAN 568 00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:41,205 AND FEEL NOTHING IS A HORRIBLE WAY TO LIVE. 569 00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:44,139 AS I DROVE HOME, I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD 570 00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:46,348 WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE A TOURIST, 571 00:20:46,348 --> 00:20:48,557 GOING SOMEWHERE WITH SO MUCH HOPE 572 00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:50,973 AND LEAVING WITH NOTHING BUT A SOUVENIR. 573 00:21:01,536 --> 00:21:03,089 FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA WAKE UP ANY MINUTE 574 00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:04,228 AND THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN, SO... 575 00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:06,057 WOW. 576 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,990 YEAH. 577 00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,441 WOULD YOU KISS MY HAND? 578 00:21:10,441 --> 00:21:12,305 YEAH, I’D KISS YOUR HAND. 579 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,893 - THERE YOU GO. - GOOD GUY. 580 00:21:13,893 --> 00:21:17,893 - ALL RIGHT. - THANKS, MIKE. 40648

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