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1
00:00:02,416 --> 00:00:03,658
MY NAME IS
NATHAN FIELDER,
2
00:00:03,762 --> 00:00:06,385
AND I GRADUATED FROM ONE
OF CANADA'S TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS
3
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:08,525
WITH REALLY GOOD GRADES.
4
00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,562
NOW, I'M USING
MY KNOWLEDGE
5
00:00:10,665 --> 00:00:12,426
TO HELP STRUGGLING
SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS
6
00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:15,670
MAKE IT
IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD.
7
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:29,512
BRIAN WOLFE CLAIMS TO BE
THE BEST PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
8
00:00:29,615 --> 00:00:30,513
IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA.
9
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:31,790
YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN?
10
00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:33,067
YOU KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY,
THEY'RE GONNA KEEP--
11
00:00:33,171 --> 00:00:34,379
YOU'RE GONNA--
THEY'RE GONNA COME BACK.
12
00:00:34,482 --> 00:00:35,759
I'D LOVE TO TAKE HIM
AT HIS WORD,
13
00:00:35,863 --> 00:00:37,416
BUT WHEN I LOOKED HIM UP
ON YELP,
14
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,454
HE HAD ZERO REVIEWS,
AND THAT'S NOT GOOD.
15
00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:43,388
SO I PAID HIM A VISIT
WITH A PLAN TO CHANGE THAT.
16
00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:45,804
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW
THAT YOU LIKED TO SNOOP?
17
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,875
SNOOP.
18
00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:49,359
NO, IT'S NOT REALLY SNOOPING.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST--
19
00:00:49,463 --> 00:00:50,912
- WELL, IT IS.
- IT'S NOT.
20
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:52,121
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S OBSERVING.
21
00:00:52,224 --> 00:00:53,260
WE CALL IT "OBSERVING."
22
00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:54,537
WELL, HERE'S THE THING.
23
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,505
I LOOKED YOU UP ON YELP,
AND YOU HAVE ZERO REVIEWS.
24
00:00:57,609 --> 00:01:00,025
ZERO REVIEWS.
WELL, WHAT A NAME, "YELP."
25
00:01:00,129 --> 00:01:01,854
YELP'S A WEB SITE
WHERE PEOPLE LOOK--
26
00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:03,063
YOU LOOK ME UP
ON GOOGLE, YOU--
27
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:04,512
LOOK UP
"WOLFE INVESTIGATIONS."
28
00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:05,686
WHAT ABOUT YELP?
29
00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:07,550
OKAY, YOU KEEP ON GOING ON
ABOUT YELP.
30
00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:08,999
WHY DO I CARE
ABOUT YELP?
31
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,071
SERIOUSLY, NO, LET'S JUST THINK
ABOUT THIS FOR ONE SECOND.
32
00:01:11,174 --> 00:01:12,072
OKAY?
33
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,590
BEEN IN BUSINESS
FOR 24 YEARS.
34
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:17,456
WHY DO I CARE IF YELP
HAS A REVIEW ABOUT ME?
35
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,838
DO YOU THINK I REALLY CARE
ABOUT YELP?
36
00:01:19,941 --> 00:01:21,805
I DON'T GIVE A
ABOUT YELP.
37
00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:24,291
THE PLAN:
GIVE WOLFE'S INVESTIGATIONS
38
00:01:24,394 --> 00:01:27,397
THEIR FIRST FIVE-STAR
YELP REVIEW.
39
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:28,812
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
40
00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,504
ARE YOU DONE HAVING
YOUR TANTRUM?
41
00:01:30,607 --> 00:01:32,264
LOOK, I'M SITTING DOWN.
I'M RELAXED.
42
00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:33,265
JUST LISTEN.
43
00:01:33,369 --> 00:01:35,129
I CAN'T JUST GIVE YOU
A REVIEW
44
00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:36,130
WITHOUT KNOWING
HOW GOOD YOU ARE...
45
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:37,304
OKAY.
46
00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:38,857
SO I'M GONNA HIRE YOU
TO TRACK A PERSON.
47
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,550
OKAY.
48
00:01:42,654 --> 00:01:45,553
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
24 HOURS
49
00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,590
TO TRACK
MY WHEREABOUTS,
50
00:01:47,693 --> 00:01:49,868
AND IF YOU DO A GOOD JOB
AT THAT,
51
00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,145
I'LL GIVE YOU
A FIVE-STAR REVIEW.
52
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:52,940
- EASY.
- EASY?
53
00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:54,597
- EASY.
- ALL RIGHT.
54
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,288
- OKAY.
- READY?
55
00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:57,565
- READY?
- SET?
56
00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:01,500
GO.
57
00:02:01,604 --> 00:02:02,846
GIVE ME SOME--
GIVE ME A CHANCE
58
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,158
TO GET A LITTLE BIT
OF A HEAD START.
59
00:02:04,262 --> 00:02:07,057
OKAY.
60
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,783
IT'S TOO MUCH.
61
00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:11,752
A CLASSIC GAME
OF CAT AND MOUSE.
62
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,788
IF BRIAN WAS AS GOOD
AS HE SAYS HE IS,
63
00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:16,412
HE WAS PROBABLY TWO STEPS
AHEAD OF ME ALREADY.
64
00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,586
BUT, LUCKILY,
I HAD A PLAN.
65
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:20,623
IF BRIAN WANTED A GOOD REVIEW
FROM ME,
66
00:02:20,726 --> 00:02:22,211
IT WASN'T
GONNA BE EASY.
67
00:02:22,314 --> 00:02:24,592
IT'S ONE THING FOR BRIAN
TO TRACK ONE OF ME,
68
00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:28,217
BUT LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES
WITH NINE OF ME.
69
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,598
PRIOR TO VISITING BRIAN,
I HIRED EIGHT ACTORS
70
00:02:30,702 --> 00:02:32,255
THAT LOOKED IDENTICAL
TO ME,
71
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,120
AND HAD THEM READY AND WAITING
IN A NEARBY HOTEL ROOM
72
00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:36,432
TO BE
MY DECOYS.
73
00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:40,056
YOU GUYS HAVE ONE JOB,
WHICH IS TO BE ME, RIGHT?
74
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,127
-RIGHT.
- SO LOOK HOW I'M STANDING.
75
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:45,579
LOOK AT MY POSTURE.
LISTEN TO HOW I'M TALKING.
76
00:02:45,682 --> 00:02:46,787
YOU GOT THAT?
ALL RIGHT.
77
00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,098
GOT IT.
78
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,550
I HAVE A BIT
OF A JAW THING,
79
00:02:51,654 --> 00:02:56,521
SO SOMETIMES,
I'LL GO LIKE THIS TO MY JAW.
80
00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,247
IF BRIAN WAS WATCHING
THE HOTEL,
81
00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:01,457
THIS WAS MY FIRST CHANCE
TO THROW HIM OFF...
82
00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:05,978
BUT I KNEW
WHETHER HE WAS THERE OR NOT,
83
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:07,808
THE NEXT PLACE HE'D LOOK
IS MY HOUSE.
84
00:03:07,911 --> 00:03:09,706
MY UNDERSTANDING
IS THAT NATHAN'S AT HOME.
85
00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,777
SO THAT'S WHERE WE'RE HEADED
RIGHT NOW.
86
00:03:11,881 --> 00:03:14,194
SO I KEPT THE BEST BODY DOUBLE
BACK AT THE HOTEL
87
00:03:14,297 --> 00:03:16,782
TO PREPARE HIM TO GO
TO MY HOME AS ME.
88
00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,301
SO WHEN YOU'RE THERE,
YOU KNOW,
89
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,890
YOU NEED
TO BE LIKE ME.
90
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,202
OKAY.
91
00:03:22,305 --> 00:03:24,376
SO THERE'S A BUNCH OF DISHES
IN THE SINK.
92
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,515
SO YOU CAN
DO THOSE.
93
00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:28,691
UM, THERE'S ALSO LAUNDRY,
94
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:29,933
SO YOU COULD DO THAT.
95
00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:34,006
UM, AND THE HOUSE NEEDS
TO BE VACUUMED.
96
00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,284
SO YOU WANT ME
TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE?
97
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:37,665
YEAH, STUFF THAT WOULD LOOK
LIKE YOU'RE ME.
98
00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:38,701
OKAY.
99
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:40,565
I GAVE HIM MY KEYS
AND MY ADDRESS,
100
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,532
BUT NOW
I NEEDED HIS.
101
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,052
IF YOU'RE ME,
THEN WHO'S YOU, RIGHT?
102
00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:47,399
SO I GOTTA BE YOU
WHILE YOU'RE BEING ME.
103
00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:48,952
- WANT MY KEYS?
- GIVE ME--YEAH.
104
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,471
IF YOU THINK
I'M BEING UNREASONABLE,
105
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:53,025
KEEP IN MIND THAT BRIAN
IS A PROFESSIONAL P.I.
106
00:03:53,129 --> 00:03:56,339
AND HE'D BE ABLE TO SNIFF OUT
ANY INCONSISTENCIES IN MY PLAN.
107
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:57,582
DO YOU HAVE
A GIRLFRIEND?
108
00:03:57,685 --> 00:03:59,446
- I HAVE A FIANCEE, YEAH.
- A FIANCEE?
109
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:03,104
- MM-HMM.
- WHAT'S HER NUMBER?
110
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,554
I NEED TO BE YOU
IF YOU'RE ME,
111
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,176
OR ELSE IT WON'T MAKE
ANY SENSE.
112
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,593
YOU WANT HER NUMBER?
REALLY?
113
00:04:08,696 --> 00:04:10,526
UH, YEAH.
114
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,355
- CAITLIN, IT WAS?
- YEAH.
115
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,978
- WHEN'S THE WEDDING DATE?
- NEXT YEAR.
116
00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,325
WE STILL GOT
TO LOCK DOWN A DATE.
117
00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:17,602
- YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE YET?
- NO.
118
00:04:17,705 --> 00:04:20,363
OKAY, MAYBE I'LL FIGURE
THAT OUT WITH HER.
119
00:04:20,467 --> 00:04:22,676
- UM...
- YOU DO THAT.
120
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:23,815
WITH DAN'S WILLINGNESS
121
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:25,920
TO INCLUDE HIS FIANCEE
IN THE OPERATION,
122
00:04:26,024 --> 00:04:28,095
THE SWITCH WAS
IN FULL EFFECT.
123
00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:30,339
THEN, WE LEFT
AS DISCREETLY AS POSSIBLE
124
00:04:30,442 --> 00:04:33,065
AND GOT
INTO EACH OTHER'S CARS.
125
00:04:33,169 --> 00:04:34,619
MY INITIAL HUNCH
WAS RIGHT.
126
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:36,483
BRIAN WAS
SECRETLY WATCHING MY HOUSE
127
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,623
FROM AN SUV
ACROSS THE STREET.
128
00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:41,936
HOPEFULLY, MY PLAN TO GET
MY DOUBLE INSIDE WOULD WORK.
129
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,731
OH, THIS COULD BE
OUR SUBJECT RIGHT NOW.
130
00:04:43,835 --> 00:04:45,043
LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S NATHAN.
131
00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:47,597
HE'S PARKED ON THE NORTH SIDE
OF THE STREET.
132
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:49,461
BINGO.
133
00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:53,500
LOOKS LIKE HE'S CARRYING A CASE
OF BEER ON HIS LEFT SHOULDER.
134
00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:56,641
AMAZING.
135
00:04:56,744 --> 00:05:00,334
GOING TO A PARTY TONIGHT.
136
00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:01,818
HE'S WALKING TO THE RESIDENCE
RIGHT NOW,
137
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:04,304
AND NOW,
HE'S OUT OF VIEW.
138
00:05:04,407 --> 00:05:05,650
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
139
00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:08,238
THE BEER-ON-SHOULDER TRICK
ACTUALLY FOOLED BRIAN,
140
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,517
BUT, AT THE TIME,
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
141
00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,897
SO I HEADED
TO DAN'S HOUSE.
142
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:14,003
AND ON MY WAY,
I MADE A QUICK STOP.
143
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,799
HI, DO YOU--
DO YOU SELL ANY CONDOMS AT ALL?
144
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:17,938
YES, SIR.
145
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,284
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN
146
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:20,941
ONCE I GOT
TO DAN'S HOUSE...
147
00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:22,805
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
THAT'S SMALLER?
148
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,290
BUT I WANTED TO BE PREPARED
FOR EVERYTHING...
149
00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:26,705
- THIS IS THE SMALLEST?
- YES.
150
00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:27,844
BUT WHEN I ARRIVED,
151
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:30,537
MY PLAN IMMEDIATELY STARTED
TO CRUMBLE.
152
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,539
- HEY.
-HI.
153
00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:35,058
HE LEFT ME A MESSAGE
THAT SOMEONE WAS COMING OVER,
154
00:05:35,162 --> 00:05:38,338
BUT I WASN'T
EXPECTING ALL THIS.
155
00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:41,513
BABE, UM, SO THIS GUY
SHOWED UP,
156
00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:43,653
AND HE KEEPS
CALLING HIMSELF "DAN,"
157
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:46,691
AND HE BROUGHT ME FLOWERS
AND SOME MALBEC.
158
00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:48,520
DAN'S FIANCEE
WAS CREEPED OUT BY ME,
159
00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:49,866
AND I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
160
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:52,800
I MEAN, I'D FEEL BETTER
IF YOU, YOU KNOW, LEFT.
161
00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:56,286
AND THEN, WHEN DAN GETS BACK,
YOU CAN COME BACK.
162
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,668
MY WHOLE PLAN
WAS FALLING APART.
163
00:05:58,772 --> 00:06:03,363
I WAS TIRED, AND I HAD NOTHING
LEFT TO DO BUT GIVE UP.
164
00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,228
- NATHAN.
- HEY.
165
00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:08,678
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
166
00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:11,198
ALL RIGHT, I GIVE UP.
YOU GOT ME.
167
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,027
YOU'RE PLAYING MIND GAMES.
I CAN'T KEEP UP.
168
00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:14,822
YOU'RE AN EASY PREY, KID.
169
00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,514
WELL, YOU'RE THE--YOU'RE
A PRO, SO WHAT CAN I SAY?
170
00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:17,722
THANK YOU.
171
00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:20,069
DO YOU WANNA GO GRAB A BEER
OR SOMETHING?
172
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,173
I KNOW A GREAT PLACE
DOWN THE BLOCK.
173
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:22,589
- LET'S DO IT, JUMP IN.
- DO YOU WANNA?
174
00:06:22,692 --> 00:06:24,038
YEAH, LET'S GO.
COME ON.
175
00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:27,145
OKAY.
176
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,954
WHO THE
ARE YOU?
177
00:06:43,057 --> 00:06:44,231
- WHAT?
- YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID.
178
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,508
WHO THE
ARE YOU?
179
00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:47,337
- I'M NATHAN.
- YOU'RE NOT NATHAN.
180
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,030
I JUST TALKED TO YOU
THREE SECONDS AGO.
181
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,169
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ENOUGH SHENANIGANS.
182
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:53,413
GET THE OUT
OF MY TRUCK NOW.
183
00:06:53,516 --> 00:06:55,622
"I LEARNED AN IMPORTANT LESSON
THAT DAY--
184
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,037
"THAT NO MATTER
WHERE I WAS
185
00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,521
OR HOW LONG I STAYED
IN ONE PLACE..."
186
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,074
WHAT ARE YOU,?
GET OUT!
187
00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:01,731
"I'D ALWAYS BE RUNNING.
188
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:05,632
"I'D ALWAYS HAVE NO HOME
WHILE BRIAN HUNTED ME DOWN.
189
00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:08,048
"BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
I LEARNED OF ALL
190
00:07:08,151 --> 00:07:09,739
"IS THAT BRIAN S. WOLFE
191
00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:13,122
"IS AN AMAZING
PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR.
192
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,537
"FOUR STARS.
193
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:15,642
"HE'S A LITTLE TALKATIVE,
194
00:07:15,745 --> 00:07:17,264
SO THAT'S WHERE HE LOST
THE ONE STAR."
195
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,267
"NATHAN F."
196
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,131
THAT'S YOUR REVIEW.
197
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,650
YOU KNOW WHAT?
198
00:07:23,753 --> 00:07:25,168
THAT'S YOUR OPINION.
199
00:07:25,272 --> 00:07:26,687
TYPICALLY, I GET
FIVE STARS.
200
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,517
WELL, TYPICALLY,
YOU HAVE NO REVIEWS.
201
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,312
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING
ABOUT YELP, OKAY?
202
00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:33,142
I OUGHT TO DO
A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOU,
203
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,523
SEE WHAT TYPE OF FELLOW
YOU ARE.
204
00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:35,696
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?
205
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,180
YOU REMIND ME
OF THE WIZARD OF LONELINESS
206
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:40,736
'CAUSE YOU YOUR OWN SELF,
YOUR OWN WIZARD.
207
00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:42,669
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
208
00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:45,085
LOOK AT YOU IN A
PINK SHIRT AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
209
00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,812
OH, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
YOU--YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS.
210
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:50,711
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
THE WIZARD OF LONELINESS.
211
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,199
EARLIER THIS SEASON,
I FAKED A DATING SHOW
212
00:07:56,303 --> 00:07:58,443
TO HELP ME OVERCOME
MY FEAR OF WOMEN,
213
00:07:58,547 --> 00:07:59,789
AND IT GOT ME THINKING--
214
00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:02,723
MAYBE I COULD USE THIS STRATEGY
TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
215
00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,726
ONE OF THE GUYS THAT WORKS
ON MY SHOW BEHIND THE SCENES,
216
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,866
SOLOMON, IS A QUIET,
HARD WORKER,
217
00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:09,696
BUT HE REMINDED ME
A LOT OF MYSELF.
218
00:08:09,799 --> 00:08:12,008
AND OVER THE COURSE
OF THE SEASON, WE BONDED.
219
00:08:12,112 --> 00:08:13,803
WELL, I LIKE
THE MOVIE CLICK.
220
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:16,426
- WITH ADAM SANDLER?
- YES, WITH ADAM SANDLER.
221
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,083
THAT'S FUNNY.
222
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:20,603
WHEN I FOUND OUT HE HAD ISSUES
WITH WOMEN AS WELL...
223
00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:21,639
DO YOU HAVE
A GIRLFRIEND?
224
00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:23,848
UH, AT THIS TIME, NO.
225
00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:25,988
I DECIDED TO HELP HIM OUT
BY SETTING HIM UP
226
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:28,266
ON A BLIND DATE
AS PART OF MY SHOW.
227
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:32,339
I WANNA SET YOU UP
ON A BLIND DATE.
228
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:33,616
THAT--THAT'S GOOD.
229
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,101
- YOU DON'T SEEM THAT EXCITED.
- NO, I-I AM.
230
00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:37,793
NO, WELL--
SHOW IT ON YOUR FACE, THEN.
231
00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:40,381
- UH, EXCITEMENT?
- YEAH.
232
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:42,142
YES, I'M EXCITED!
233
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,799
OH, GREAT.
YOU LOOK EXCITED.
234
00:08:43,902 --> 00:08:46,008
- YES, YES, I AM.
- GREAT.
235
00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:48,217
BUT WHEN I PITCHED THE IDEA
TO COMEDY CENTRAL,
236
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,806
ALL THEY SAW WAS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO CASH IN.
237
00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:54,292
- THERE'S A CATCH.
- WHAT'S THE CATCH?
238
00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:59,090
ONE OF THE SPONSORS
OF THE SHOW IS QUIZNOS.
239
00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:00,988
UM, THIS ISN'T
A JOKE,
240
00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:03,991
BUT THEY ARE MAKING US
DO THIS
241
00:09:04,095 --> 00:09:06,235
AT ONE
OF THEIR RESTAURANTS.
242
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,374
OKAY.
243
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:10,791
SO WOULD YOU BE WILLING
TO DO YOUR DATE
244
00:09:10,895 --> 00:09:12,137
AT A QUIZNOS?
245
00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:13,829
IT'S OKAY.
246
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:15,278
THE QUIZNOS
IS GOOD.
247
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:16,625
SOLOMON TOOK
THE NEWS WELL,
248
00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:17,798
AND EVEN THOUGH
I WASN'T THRILLED
249
00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:19,731
WITH HAVING PRODUCT PLACEMENT
IN MY SHOW,
250
00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:21,940
WE'LL SEE SOLOMON'S DATE
IN A BIT.
251
00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:25,288
BUT FIRST,
WHEN I GET INTO A TAXICAB,
252
00:09:25,392 --> 00:09:27,463
ALL I HOPE FOR
IS A NICE, QUIET RIDE...
253
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,189
LEXINGTON
AND WILSHIRE, PLEASE.
254
00:09:29,292 --> 00:09:33,227
BUT THERE REALLY IS NO EASY WAY
TO ASK FOR THAT.
255
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:37,128
UH, NATHAN.
256
00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:38,578
UM, SORRY,
257
00:09:38,681 --> 00:09:40,821
I DON'T REALLY WANNA HAVE
A CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW.
258
00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,375
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN
AN AWKWARD SITUATION FOR ME.
259
00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:45,826
THAT'S WHY I DEVISED
A SOLUTION AND BROUGHT IT
260
00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:49,278
TO STRUGGLING LOS ANGELES
TAXI COMPANY INDEPENDENT CAB,
261
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,591
WHERE I MET WITH PRESIDENT
NETTABI AHMED.
262
00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:54,490
ALL I'M SUGGESTING
IS YOU MAKE IT EASY
263
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,078
FOR THE CUSTOMER
TO DECIDE
264
00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:57,769
IF HE WANTS A CONVERSATION
OR NOT
265
00:09:57,873 --> 00:09:59,737
AND EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS
TO TALK ABOUT.
266
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,531
BUT YOU CANNOT
ASK SOMEBODY,
267
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,706
"DO YOU HAVE--DO YOU WANNA HAVE
A CONVERSATION OR NOT?"
268
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,708
UNTIL NOW.
THE PLAN--
269
00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:08,228
A TOUCH SCREEN SYSTEM
THAT WILL ALLOW THE CUSTOMER
270
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:10,230
TO DISCREETLY COMMUNICATE
TO THE DRIVER
271
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,301
WHETHER OR NOT
HE WANTS A CONVERSATION.
272
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,165
AND IF HE DOES,
HE'LL ACTUALLY BE ABLE
273
00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:16,685
TO SELECT THE TOPIC
HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT.
274
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,134
THE IDEA,
I ACCEPT IT RIGHT NOW,
275
00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:19,653
BUT I NEED
TO TEST IT,
276
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:22,380
NOT--NOT ONLY
FOR YOUR DOCUMENTARY
277
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:25,210
OR FOR YOUR MOVIE,
BUT FOR THE BUSINESS ITSELF.
278
00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:26,522
BEFORE COMMITTING
TO ANYTHING,
279
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,593
NETTABI WANTED ME TO DO
A TRIAL RUN
280
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:30,699
WITH ONE
OF HIS DRIVERS--REUBEN.
281
00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:33,046
ALONG WITH REUBEN'S HOME COUNTRY
OF ARMENIA,
282
00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:35,945
I PICKED THREE MORE MAINSTREAM
CONVERSATION TOPICS
283
00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,602
FOR CUSTOMERS
TO CHOOSE FROM
284
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:39,086
AND TOOK OUT SOME BOOKS
FROM THE LIBRARY
285
00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,916
SO THAT REUBEN
COULD STUDY UP ON THEM.
286
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,227
YOU PROMISE
YOU'LL READ THESE?
287
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,401
- I PROMISE, YEAH.
- OKAY.
288
00:10:43,504 --> 00:10:44,851
- 'CAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
- OKAY.
289
00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:46,128
YOU KNOW, I WANNA LOOK GOOD
FOR YOUR BOSS.
290
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,267
OKAY.
291
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,372
AFTER GIVING REUBEN A WEEK
TO STUDY,
292
00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:51,927
WE HAD OUR TOUCH SCREEN SYSTEM
INSTALLED IN HIS CAB,
293
00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:53,618
AND IT WAS TIME TO GO PICK UP
SOME CUSTOMERS.
294
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:55,033
SANTA MONICA
AND WILTON, PLEASE.
295
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,794
NO PROBLEM.
296
00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,865
SO WE'RE DOING THIS THING
WHERE YOU CAN SELECT
297
00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:01,695
YOUR CONVERSATION PREFERENCES
FOR THE RIDE.
298
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:04,560
SEE, YES OR NO.
299
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,562
TURNS OUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
WERE LIKE ME.
300
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,598
NO ONE WANTED TO TALK
TO THE DRIVER.
301
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,808
LOVE THAT SILENCE.
302
00:11:10,911 --> 00:11:12,913
JUST NICE AND QUIET.
303
00:11:13,017 --> 00:11:13,914
ARE YOU ENJOYING
THE SILENCE?
304
00:11:14,018 --> 00:11:15,260
KIND OF.
305
00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:17,884
BUT IN ORDER TO REALLY SELL
MY IDEA TO NETTABI,
306
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,920
I NEEDED TO SHOW
THE CONVERSATION FEATURE
307
00:11:20,024 --> 00:11:21,646
WORKING WITH A CUSTOMER.
308
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,372
OKAY.
309
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,374
UM, YOU KNOW, I JUST WONDER
WHAT CALIFORNIA--
310
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,927
WHAT WAS NATIVE
TO CALIFORNIA,
311
00:11:27,031 --> 00:11:28,964
OR, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, DOLPHINS, OR--
312
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:32,381
- WHICH WHALES ARE NATIVE?
- YEAH, THAT--THAT'D BE RIGHT.
313
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,072
WHICH WHALES
ARE NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA?
314
00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:37,662
- CALIFORNIA.
- YEAH.
315
00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:39,837
I CANNOT ASK.
I'M SORRY.
316
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:43,633
BUT THAT WAS COVERED IN THE--
IN THE BOOKS.
317
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:46,602
DID YOU READ--
DID YOU READ THE BOOKS?
318
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,364
- NO.
- YOU DIDN'T READ THEM?
319
00:11:50,468 --> 00:11:51,572
OKAY.
320
00:11:51,676 --> 00:11:53,920
I WAS STUNNED THAT REUBEN
HADN'T PREPARED.
321
00:11:54,023 --> 00:11:55,576
AND IF HE COULDN'T TALK
ABOUT WHALES,
322
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,647
NETTABI WOULD NEVER GO
FOR MY IDEA.
323
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,235
SO I ASKED HIM
TO PULL OVER
324
00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:02,204
AND HAD THE CUSTOMER
WAIT OUTSIDE SO WE COULD TALK.
325
00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:06,242
WHAT'S GOING ON?
326
00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:09,314
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT WHALES?
327
00:12:12,835 --> 00:12:14,147
REUBEN KNEW NOTHING,
328
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,908
AND IN A LAST-DITCH EFFORT,
I PULLED UP SOME WHALE FACTS
329
00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,772
ON MY PHONE
FOR HIM TO MEMORIZE.
330
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,498
A SPERM WHALE
CAN HOLD ITS BREATH
331
00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:22,051
FOR AT LEAST ONE HOUR.
332
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,812
- ONE HOUR, IT CAN HOLD--
- HOLD ITS BREATH, SPERM WHALE.
333
00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:24,882
- OKAY.
- SPERM WHALE.
334
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,229
I GAVE REUBEN
ABOUT 15 WHALE FACTS,
335
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,610
AND THEN, IT WAS TIME
TO BRING THE CUSTOMER BACK IN.
336
00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:30,853
- OKAY, GOT IT?
- YEAH.
337
00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:32,890
OKAY, READY?
I'M GONNA BRING HER BACK IN.
338
00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:37,618
- YEAH.
- OKAY, DON'T--DON'T MESS IT UP.
339
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:40,138
-OKAY.
- IT ALL CAME DOWN TO THIS.
340
00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:42,831
THE FATE OF MY CONCEPT
WAS IN REUBEN'S HANDS.
341
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,729
SO ARE YOU--
YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT WHALES?
342
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:45,834
- YES.
- OKAY.
343
00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,008
SO, UM...
344
00:12:48,112 --> 00:12:51,184
IT'S A--
VERY INTERESTING ANIMALS.
345
00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:54,049
UH, FOR EXAMPLE...
346
00:12:54,152 --> 00:12:58,053
IT CAN HOLD THE BREATH
UNDERWATER FOR ONE HOUR.
347
00:12:58,156 --> 00:12:59,640
WHAT ELSE?
348
00:12:59,744 --> 00:13:03,506
ALSO, THEY CAN LIVE
200 YEARS.
349
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,542
KEEP GOING.
350
00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:06,786
ALL THE WHALES
SIT AROUND FAMILY.
351
00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:07,856
WOW.
352
00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:09,685
REUBEN CAME THROUGH
IN A BIG WAY,
353
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,515
AND IN NO TIME, HE WAS
EVEN MAKING UP HIS OWN FACTS.
354
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:16,623
HAVE YOU EVER FOUGHT
A SHARK?
355
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,453
- YEAH.
- YOU HAVE?
356
00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:21,870
YEAH, IT WAS A GREAT--
GREAT WHITE.
357
00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:22,871
WOW.
358
00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:24,044
WHOA, YOU FOUGHT
A GREAT WHITE?
359
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,356
WHAT DID YOU DO?
360
00:13:25,459 --> 00:13:28,083
HIS MOUTH
LIKE THIS.
361
00:13:28,186 --> 00:13:31,051
IF YOU GO THIS WAY,
HE CANNOT TOUCH YOU...
362
00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:32,294
OKAY.
363
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,192
AND I TRIED,
AND I BEAT IT.
364
00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:36,298
A GREAT WHITE SHARK CAME
TO BITE YOU, AND YOU KICKED IT?
365
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:38,645
YEAH.
I KICKED IT.
366
00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:41,613
- AND DID YOU KILL HIM?
- NO.
367
00:13:41,717 --> 00:13:44,375
- YEAH, I KILL HIM.
- OH, WOW.
368
00:13:44,478 --> 00:13:45,617
PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
369
00:13:45,721 --> 00:13:47,205
YEAH, IT'S--
IT'S REALLY INTERESTING.
370
00:13:47,309 --> 00:13:48,379
DO YOU LIKE THIS SYSTEM?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN IT BEFORE?
371
00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:49,552
NO.
372
00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,106
WOULD YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS
ABOUT IT?
373
00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:52,452
UH, SURE.
374
00:13:52,555 --> 00:13:55,835
REUBEN FAR SURPASSED
ANY EXPECTATIONS I HAD FOR HIM,
375
00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:58,251
AND I COULDN'T WAIT
TO SHOW NETTABI THE RESULTS.
376
00:13:58,354 --> 00:13:59,493
'CAUSE THIS WAY,
HE CANNOT TOUCH YOU...
377
00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:01,599
- WOW.
- AND I TRIED, AND I BEAT HIM.
378
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:02,772
THAT'S GOOD.
379
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,533
- YOU LIKE IT?
- THE CUSTOMER LOOKS HAPPY.
380
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,293
AND THE DRIVER
WAS COMFORTABLE.
381
00:14:06,397 --> 00:14:07,743
SO I LIKE IT.
382
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,745
I'M SO HAPPY
I COULD HELP YOU.
383
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,023
UM, DO YOU MIND IF I LEAVE YOU
MY BUSINESS CARD?
384
00:14:12,127 --> 00:14:16,752
ABSOLUTELY.
385
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:21,826
BASICALLY, TO CARE FOR IT,
386
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,242
YOU JUST HAVE TO FEED IT
KIND OF WHEAT--
387
00:14:24,346 --> 00:14:26,244
EVERY DAY, I HAVE TO LOOK
AT YOUR CARD.
388
00:14:26,348 --> 00:14:28,522
- YOU CARE FOR IT, YEAH.
- OH, THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA.
389
00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:30,386
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU NEVER FORGET
WHO GAVE IT TO YOU.
390
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,872
YES, YOU ARE FULL--
FULL OF GOOD IDEAS.
391
00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:34,528
- OH, GREAT.
- HAVE A GOOD DAY.
392
00:14:34,632 --> 00:14:35,875
- YOU TOO.
- GOOD TO MEET YOU.
393
00:14:35,978 --> 00:14:38,774
BYE, BYE.
394
00:14:42,364 --> 00:14:43,261
EARLIER, I SET UP
ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES
395
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,953
ON A BLIND DATE,
AND THE GIRL
396
00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,368
I PICKED FOR HIM
WAS SOMEONE
397
00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:48,266
THAT I MET
ON MY FAKE DATING SHOW--RACHEL.
398
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:51,062
THERE'S NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME.
399
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,788
AS PART OF THE AGREEMENT
WITH QUIZNOS,
400
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,790
SOLOMON WAS GONNA HAVE TO SAY
SOME BRANDING CUES
401
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,550
FROM THE COMPANY
DURING HIS DATE.
402
00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:57,897
SO I GAVE HIM
A HIDDEN EARPIECE
403
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,622
AND STATIONED MYSELF
IN THE BACK ROOM
404
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,762
WITH A QUIZNOS MARKETING REP
SO I COULD TELL HIM
405
00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:04,317
WHAT TO SAY
DURING HIS DATE.
406
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,112
I COULD TELL SOLOMON
WAS NERVOUS,
407
00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:08,873
BUT HE LOOKED FANTASTIC
IN MY GRANDPA'S SUIT.
408
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:11,531
I JUST HOPED THAT HE COULD
HIT IT OFF WITH RACHEL.
409
00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:13,774
HI, MY NAME
IS SOLOMON.
410
00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:16,846
HI.
411
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,331
I'M RACHEL.
412
00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:19,953
YOU HAVE NICE EYES.
413
00:15:20,057 --> 00:15:21,644
OH, THANK YOU.
414
00:15:21,748 --> 00:15:24,716
- SO DO YOU.
- THANK YOU.
415
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,063
YOU COULD ASK HER IF--
416
00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:27,996
"WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
QUIZNOS SUB?"
417
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:30,791
ALL RIGHT, IS THAT KIND
OF WEIRD EARLY ON IN THE DATE?
418
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,759
I TRIED TO HOLD OFF
THE QUIZNOS REP AS LONG
419
00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:35,382
AS I COULD SO SOLOMON AND RACHEL
COULD REALLY CONNECT...
420
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:37,143
HAVE YOU SEEN
THE MOVIE CLICK?
421
00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:38,661
NO.
422
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:42,907
OH, IT'S ABOUT, UM, A GUY
THAT GETS THIS REMOTE CONTROL,
423
00:15:43,011 --> 00:15:44,426
AND HE CONTROL LIFE.
424
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:47,049
- OH, WOW, AWESOME.
- YEAH.
425
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:48,809
BUT, EVENTUALLY,
SHE WAS JUST TOO PERSISTENT.
426
00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:51,329
DID YOU KNOW
THE BAJA CHICKEN HAS...
427
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:55,644
- CHEF-INSPIRED...
- CHEF-INSPIRED SAUCES?
428
00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:00,028
DID YOU KNOW THE BAJA CHICKEN
HAS CHEF-INSPIRED SAUCES?
429
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:02,789
OH, REALLY?
COOL.
430
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:06,551
HAVE HIM SAY,
"MM, TOASTY."
431
00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,036
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
432
00:16:08,139 --> 00:16:09,485
SO, UM...
433
00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:12,557
WILL YOU SAY, "MM, TOASTY"
AFTER YOU BITE IT?
434
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,042
MM.
435
00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:16,009
TOASTY.
436
00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:19,254
NOW, WE COULD TALK
ABOUT THE ARTISAN BREADS,
437
00:16:19,357 --> 00:16:20,703
THE FRESHLY SLICED MEATS
AND CHEESES--
438
00:16:20,807 --> 00:16:23,085
OKAY, I'M--
I LOVE QUIZNOS,
439
00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:25,122
AND I'M HAPPY
TO DO THIS,
440
00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:28,918
BUT CAN WE LET THEM
DO THEIR THING FOR A BIT,
441
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,472
AND GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER?
442
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,818
OKAY.
443
00:16:31,921 --> 00:16:33,509
BE GENUINE.
BE YOURSELF.
444
00:16:33,613 --> 00:16:35,615
SPEAK FROM THE HEART.
445
00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,583
DO YOU--
DO YOU KNOW ANY POEMS?
446
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:40,482
NO.
447
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:43,278
- DO YOU?
- YES, I DO.
448
00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:45,418
"ROSES ARE RED,
449
00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:48,317
"VIOLETS ARE BLUE.
450
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:51,389
NO ONE IS PRETTIER
THAN YOU."
451
00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:54,668
AW.
THANKS.
452
00:16:54,772 --> 00:16:58,258
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- THAT'S GOOD.
453
00:16:58,362 --> 00:17:00,433
YEAH, IF WE CAN THROW IN
THE TAG LINE AGAIN.
454
00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:02,952
ALL RIGHT,
WRAP IT UP, SOLOMON.
455
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,610
SO, UH, IT SEEMS,
456
00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:10,926
UH, THAT WE'RE DONE WITH...
457
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:15,931
WITH THE TASTY QUIZNOS...
458
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,829
SANDWICH.
459
00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:19,728
GREAT.
460
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:20,832
YOU'RE REAL PRETTY
461
00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:24,457
AND I WANT
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
462
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,666
EVEN WITH THE AWKWARDNESS
OF OUR PRODUCT PLACEMENT,
463
00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:29,600
I WAS SO HAPPY THINGS WORKED OUT
FOR SOLOMON.
464
00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:32,672
BUT THERE WAS STILL ONE THING
I HAD TO LOOK INTO.
465
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,400
EARLIER TONIGHT, YOU SAW ME
HELP A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR.
466
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,954
BUT WHAT I DIDN'T SHOW YOU
IS THAT AFTER WE WERE DONE,
467
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,576
I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED
TO HANG OUT,
468
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,750
AND HE REBUFFED ME.
469
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,855
WOULD YOU WANNA HANG OUT
ON SATURDAY NIGHT?
470
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,098
NO, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
471
00:17:45,202 --> 00:17:46,720
- WHY?
- I HAVE PLANS.
472
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:47,825
- YOU HAVE PLANS?
- I DO.
473
00:17:47,928 --> 00:17:49,137
- ON SATURDAY?
- I DO.
474
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,380
WHAT ARE
THE PLANS?
475
00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:53,555
TAKING MY GIRL
OUT TO DINNER.
476
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,694
YOU'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER
WITH YOUR GIRL?
477
00:17:54,797 --> 00:17:55,695
YES.
478
00:17:55,798 --> 00:17:56,903
ALL RIGHT.
479
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,560
BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING
IN BRIAN'S TONE
480
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,113
THAT JUST DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT
TO ME,
481
00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:03,151
SO I HIRED A SECOND PRIVATE
INVESTIGATOR TO SPY ON BRIAN
482
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,187
TO SEE IF HE REALLY WENT OUT
WITH HIS GIRL.
483
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:07,224
AND IF IT'S OPEN,
HE'S DEFINITELY HOME.
484
00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:08,294
YEAH, EXACTLY.
485
00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:10,675
I NEVER SAW HIM LEAVE
AT ALL, PERIOD.
486
00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:12,608
'CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WAS GOING
OUT WITH HIS GIRL THAT NIGHT.
487
00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:15,128
OH, INTERESTING.
488
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:16,440
YOU DON'T LOOK
TOO HAPPY.
489
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:19,270
NO, I'M JUST--
I'M SURPRISED HE LIED TO ME.
490
00:18:19,374 --> 00:18:21,376
WHAT--DO YOU THINK THE GUY,
LIKE--HE DIDN'T LIKE ME, OR...
491
00:18:21,479 --> 00:18:22,722
I DON'T KNOW,
YOU KNOW?
492
00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:24,827
I MEAN, SOMET--I MEAN,
IF I DON'T LIKE SOMEBODY
493
00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,174
AND THEY'D ASK ME THAT,
I'D PROBABLY SAY,
494
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:27,347
"I'D LOVE TO GO OUT
WITH YOU.
495
00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:28,624
I'M JUST REALLY BUSY."
496
00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:29,763
RIGHT, SO HE WAS JUST TRYING
TO GET RID OF ME.
497
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:30,971
I THINK HE WAS TRYING
TO GET RID OF YOU.
498
00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:32,111
THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.
499
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:34,147
- NO--SORRY ABOUT THAT, BUT--
- NO, NO, NO.
500
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:36,253
- IT'S JUST MY OPINION.
- YEAH, YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
501
00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:37,323
MY PLEASURE.
502
00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:40,947
UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THIS WEEKEND?
503
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,086
THIS WEEKEND?
504
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,331
UH, PROBABLY GOING TO GO
TO SAN FRANCISCO.
505
00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,608
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT
ANOTHER TIME.
506
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,095
NO, I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GO
TO SAN FRANCISCO, SEE MY FAMILY.
507
00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,165
- MM.
- YEAH.
508
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:56,135
OKAY.
509
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:59,068
ALL RIGHT, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR COMING IN AND HELPING.
510
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,208
YOU GOT IT.
TAKE CARE. NICE TO MEET YOU.
511
00:19:00,311 --> 00:19:03,280
ALL RIGHT.
512
00:19:07,318 --> 00:19:10,114
DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT
SOMETIME--A TIME OUTSIDE?
513
00:19:10,218 --> 00:19:11,978
I DON'T KNOW.
514
00:19:12,081 --> 00:19:13,462
- IT'S FINE.
- MM...
515
00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:17,294
- WE DON'T HAVE TO. THAT'S FINE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
516
00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:19,123
YOU'RE--ARE YOU
IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW?
517
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,124
YES.
518
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:23,196
OKAY.
SO SORRY, NEVERMIND.
519
00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:26,820
NICE GUYS LIKE US
ARE LEFT BEHIND.
520
00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:29,892
MM, HOW DO YOU SAY?
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST."
521
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:32,757
YOU HAVE
NO FRIENDS.
522
00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:34,621
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE WIZARD
OF LONELINESS.
523
00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:37,210
THAT'S YOU.
524
00:19:37,314 --> 00:19:39,592
I NEED YOU TO PRETEND
TO BE MY FRIEND.
525
00:19:39,695 --> 00:19:42,767
I CAN PAY YOU.
526
00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:45,391
SO ARE YOU ATTRACTED
TO HIM?
527
00:19:45,494 --> 00:19:46,426
I GUESS NO.
528
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:49,498
HE WASN'T REALLY
WHAT I EXPECTED.
529
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:52,812
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT
ANOTHER TIME.
530
00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:02,960
GOOD AFTERNOON.
GLOBAL INVESTIGATIONS.
531
00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:05,445
HI, YOU'RE
A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR?
532
00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:07,171
UH, YES.
HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?
533
00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:11,002
UM, YEAH, I JUST WANT
TO FIND OUT
534
00:20:11,106 --> 00:20:15,317
IF A PAUL KATZ IS GOING
TO SAN FRANCISCO THIS WEEKEND.
535
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,500
AB-SO-LUTELY.
536
00:20:29,745 --> 00:20:32,023
HOW MUCH
DO YOU LOVE QUIZNOS?
537
00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:35,130
I LOVE QUIZNOS.
538
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:40,584
BE HONEST.
DO YOU REALLY LOVE QUIZNOS?
539
00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:43,380
I LOVE QUIZNOS.
38908
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