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1
00:00:02,243 --> 00:00:02,381
MY NAME IS NATHAN FIELDER,
2
00:00:04,107 --> 00:00:04,245
AND I GRADUATED FROM ONE
OF CANADA'S TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS
3
00:00:06,316 --> 00:00:06,454
WITH REALLY GOOD GRADES.
4
00:00:08,594 --> 00:00:08,732
NOW, I'M USING MY KNOWLEDGE
5
00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:10,769
TO HELP STRUGGLING
SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS MAKE IT
6
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:13,358
IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD.
7
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:22,953
THIS...
8
00:00:24,403 --> 00:00:24,541
IS NATHAN FOR YOU.
9
00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:27,027
UNDERNEATH THIS MAN'S CLOTHES
IS A HUGE GIFT FROM GOD.
10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:32,135
CAN YOU GUESS
WHAT IT IS?
11
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:34,655
THAT'S RIGHT.
HIS SANTA CLAUS BODY.
12
00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:37,313
JAMES BAILEY HAS BEEN
A PROFESSIONAL SANTA
13
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:39,349
FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
14
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:41,558
AND IF YOU LOOKED LIKE HIM,
YOU'D BE ONE TOO.
15
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:43,388
I AM 6'4",
AND I DO WEIGH 350 POUNDS.
16
00:00:46,943 --> 00:00:47,047
- HOLY.
- YEAH, HOLY.
17
00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:48,289
YEAH.
18
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:50,429
I MEAN, MY DOCTORS WOULD
LIKE ME TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT.
19
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:52,397
SO IT'S THE TRADE-OFF
BETWEEN LIVING LONGER
20
00:00:55,745 --> 00:00:55,883
OR DYING AND GETTING
TO BE SANTA.
21
00:00:58,679 --> 00:00:58,817
IT'S LIKE, WHAT'S BETTER?
IT'S HARD TO SAY.
22
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:00,888
WELL,
IT'S VERY HARD TO SAY.
23
00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:03,028
BUT FOR SOMEONE SO COMMITTED
TO BRINGING US JOY,
24
00:01:05,237 --> 00:01:05,375
IT'S A SHAME THAT,
FOR MOST OF THE YEAR,
25
00:01:07,032 --> 00:01:07,136
JAMES IS COMPLETELY
OUT OF WORK.
26
00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:08,551
IN THE SUMMERTIME,
27
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:10,829
SANTA CLAUS
BECOMES A HOMELESS PERSON.
28
00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:13,383
BUT I WOULDN'T BE HERE
IF I DIDN'T HAVE A SOLUTION.
29
00:01:15,903 --> 00:01:16,041
SO YOU KNOW
HOW THE BEST TIME TO BUY
30
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:18,250
A WINTER COAT
IS IN THE SUMMER?
31
00:01:19,976 --> 00:01:20,080
'CAUSE THAT'S
WHEN ALL THE SALES ARE.
32
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:21,219
YES.
33
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:23,255
SO WHAT I'M THINKING
IS THAT SAME APPROACH...
34
00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:25,671
WITH SANTA.
35
00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:28,916
I'M NOT SEEING
HOW THAT APPLIES TO SANTA CLAUS.
36
00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:31,953
EVERY CHRISTMAS,
PEOPLE LINE UP IN MALLS
37
00:01:33,714 --> 00:01:33,817
TO GET THEIR PICTURES TAKEN
WITH SANTA.
38
00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:35,854
BUT WHAT IF YOU COULD DO IT
WHEN IT'S LESS CROWDED
39
00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:37,545
AND AT HALF THE COST?
40
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:40,824
DISCOUNT PHOTOS WITH SANTA
IN THE SUMMER.
41
00:01:44,759 --> 00:01:44,897
YEAH,
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
42
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:47,037
I CAN SEE THE DOLLAR SIGNS
IN YOUR EYES.
43
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:49,385
YEAH.
44
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:51,041
RIGHT.
45
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:52,215
FOR THIS TO WORK,
46
00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:54,114
WE NEEDED TO GET
A SHOPPING MALL ONBOARD,
47
00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:55,943
AND MALL MANAGER
SWEENEY MONTINOLA
48
00:01:57,772 --> 00:01:57,910
AT THE SOUTHBAY PAVILION
IN CARSON, CALIFORNIA,
49
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:00,223
WAS HAPPY TO LET US
TRY OUT OUR CONCEPT.
50
00:02:02,018 --> 00:02:02,122
I THINK SANTA IN THE SUMMER
IS A FUN AND UNIQUE IDEA,
51
00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:05,090
AND IT WILL BE GREAT
FOR SOUTHBAY PAVILION.
52
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:07,679
WITH A MALL ONBOARD,
IT WAS NOW TIME TO BUY
53
00:02:09,405 --> 00:02:09,543
THE SUPPLIES
FOR OUR CHRISTMAS VILLAGE.
54
00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:11,648
WHICH STUFF DO YOU RENT FOR
THE MOST, WHICH HOLIDAY?
55
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:15,238
- CHRISTMAS.
- CHRISTMAS?
56
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:16,688
- YES.
- OKAY.
57
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:18,690
YOU REALLY SHOVED THIS AWAY
IN A CORNER, HUH?
58
00:02:20,243 --> 00:02:20,381
YEP.
59
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,038
- NO ONE LIKES THIS?
- YES.
60
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:24,109
BUT AFTER RENTING OUR PROPS,
SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED.
61
00:02:25,973 --> 00:02:26,111
THE MALL'S POLICY
REQUIRES A BACKGROUND CHECK
62
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:28,078
ON ALL EMPLOYEES.
63
00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:29,908
BUT WHEN WE HAD ONE RUN
ON JAMES,
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00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:31,254
SOMETHING ACTUALLY TURNED UP.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:33,291
SO I PAID HIM A VISIT
TO SEE WHAT THE STORY WAS.
66
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:35,638
YOU HAVE
A CRIMINAL RECORD?
67
00:02:37,087 --> 00:02:37,191
WELL, YEAH.
68
00:02:38,848 --> 00:02:38,986
THE ONLY--
IT WAS A MISDEMEANOR,
69
00:02:41,022 --> 00:02:41,126
REALLY, FROM A DUI
MANY YEARS AGO.
70
00:02:43,301 --> 00:02:43,439
OKAY.
71
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:45,303
I COULDN'T BELIEVE
WHAT I WAS HEARING,
72
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:47,270
BUT THEN AGAIN,
FROM THE FIRST DAY I MET JAMES,
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00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:49,272
I COULD TELL HE WAS DIFFERENT
FROM OTHER SANTAS.
74
00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:51,136
THIS IS A SMITH & WESSON
.500 MAGNUM.
75
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:54,243
THIS IS A .45 CALIBER
SEMI-AUTOMATIC.
76
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:55,865
.22 RIFLE.
77
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:57,487
THE AK-47.
THIS IS A .300.
78
00:02:59,593 --> 00:02:59,731
LITTLE SHOTGUN
IN CASE YOU'RE INTO SHOTGUNS.
79
00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:01,871
THIS IS A .357 MAGNUM,
AND THAT ONE IS LOADED.
80
00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:04,632
OKAY, WE CAN'T TAKE OUT
A LOADED GUN.
81
00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:06,703
AND THERE HASN'T BEEN
82
00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:08,636
ANY OTHER CRIMES
THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT.
83
00:03:11,156 --> 00:03:11,260
NO,
THERE'S NOTHING THERE.
84
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:13,193
EVEN THOUGH JAMES
HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD
85
00:03:14,746 --> 00:03:14,884
AND A CLOSET FULL
OF GUNS,
86
00:03:16,575 --> 00:03:16,713
I COULD STILL TELL
HE WAS A GOOD GUY.
87
00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:18,646
BUT WHEN I WENT BACK
TO SOUTHBAY PAVILION,
88
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:20,338
THEY DIDN'T SEE IT
THAT WAY.
89
00:03:22,374 --> 00:03:22,512
I WOULDN'T ALLOW ANYONE
THAT HAS ANY KIND OF BACKGROUND
90
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:24,376
TO BE THAT CLOSE TO KIDS.
91
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:26,758
I MEAN,
HE'S A REALLY GOOD GUY.
92
00:03:28,277 --> 00:03:28,415
I THINK
YOU'D REALLY LIKE HIM.
93
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:29,485
NO AND NO.
94
00:03:32,108 --> 00:03:32,212
- OKAY.
- DEFINITELY NO.
95
00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:34,006
I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL JAMES
96
00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:35,732
THAT THE MALL
DIDN'T WANT HIM,
97
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:37,596
BUT I PAID HIM A VISIT
TO BREAK THE NEWS.
98
00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:39,633
IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT
IF WE COULD HAVE IT SET UP
99
00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:41,566
SO THAT WE COULD PRINT
THE PHOTOS RIGHT THERE.
100
00:03:43,084 --> 00:03:43,188
RIGHT.
101
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:45,017
YOU KNOW,
SO WE DO THE DIGITAL.
102
00:03:46,778 --> 00:03:46,916
- WE GET THE PICTURES TAKEN.
- SURE, SURE.
103
00:03:48,676 --> 00:03:48,814
SO THAT MIGHT HELP
DRAW MORE PEOPLE IN.
104
00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:50,022
RIGHT, SO I SPOKE
105
00:03:51,783 --> 00:03:51,921
TO THE DIRECTOR OF MARKETING
AT THE MALL.
106
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:53,647
OKAY.
107
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:55,476
AND...UH...
108
00:03:57,789 --> 00:03:57,927
THEY'RE OKAY
WITH US DOING IT?
109
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:01,310
YEAH?
GREAT.
110
00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:04,761
SO WE'RE GONNA
MAKE THIS HAPPEN THEN.
111
00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:06,487
THAT'S OUTSTANDING.
112
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:08,386
- YEAH.
- GOOD.
113
00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:10,215
- YEAH.
- I JUST GOTTA SAY THANK YOU.
114
00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:11,975
REALLY.
I THINK THIS IS AWESOME.
115
00:04:13,149 --> 00:04:13,253
JAMES SEEMED SO EXCITED,
116
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:15,013
AND I JUST DIDN'T
HAVE THE HEART
117
00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:17,015
TO TELL HIM THAT HE
WASN'T WANTED BY THE MALL.
118
00:04:18,672 --> 00:04:18,810
SO MY ONLY GOAL
WAS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
119
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:22,158
MY HOPE WAS THAT,
IF WE GOT IN THERE EARLY,
120
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:24,264
WE COULD DO ABOUT 1/2 HOUR'S
WORTH OF PHOTOS WITH JAMES
121
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:26,438
BEFORE ANYONE REALIZED
WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
122
00:04:29,338 --> 00:04:29,476
SO ON THE MORNING
OF AUGUST 2ND,
123
00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:31,857
WE QUIETLY PULLED OUR TRUCK UP
BEHIND THE JCPENNEY.
124
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:34,135
AND BEFORE UNLOADING
THE VILLAGE,
125
00:04:35,723 --> 00:04:35,861
I HAD A QUICK WORD
WITH JAMES.
126
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:38,347
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
IF I EVER SAY "ABORT,"
127
00:04:41,695 --> 00:04:41,833
WE SHOULD JUST WALK
TO THE EXIT IF YOU CAN.
128
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:44,318
- ABORT.
- YEAH.
129
00:04:46,665 --> 00:04:46,803
UM...
130
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:49,392
OKAY.
131
00:04:51,187 --> 00:04:51,291
OKAY.
THAT'S IT.
132
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:53,154
ALL RIGHT,
QUICKER, GUYS.
133
00:04:58,953 --> 00:04:59,091
WE'RE GONNA BE DOING
A SANTA DISPLAY SOON.
134
00:05:01,956 --> 00:05:02,094
MAYBE OVER HERE.
135
00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:03,993
MAYBE, LIKE,
THE BACKGROUND IS HERE.
136
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:09,964
DO YOU WANT YOUR PICTURE TAKEN
WITH SANTA?
137
00:05:14,452 --> 00:05:14,590
COME.
138
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:16,246
- HI, THERE.
- HEY, YEAH!
139
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:18,248
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- HERE, COME HERE, LITTLE ONE.
140
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:20,458
YES.
YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
141
00:05:22,252 --> 00:05:22,356
YEAH.
142
00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:23,840
BIG SMILE.
LOOK AT THE CAMERA.
143
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:28,086
THE MALL MANAGER.
WHAT'S HER NAME AGAIN?
144
00:05:31,503 --> 00:05:31,641
I'M, UH, NAT--
I'M JUST AN ELF.
145
00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:35,300
WAIT.
UM--
146
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:37,475
WOULD YOU LIKE
YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITH SANTA?
147
00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:39,200
$5 ONLY.
148
00:05:41,479 --> 00:05:41,617
IT'S DISCOUNTED PRICES
'CAUSE IT'S EARLIER IN THE YEAR.
149
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:44,551
- EXCUSE ME.
- OKAY, COME.
150
00:05:48,175 --> 00:05:48,313
OKAY.
151
00:05:51,558 --> 00:05:51,696
LET'S GO.
COME ON.
152
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:54,457
THIS WAY.
153
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:57,495
EXCUSE ME.
154
00:05:59,117 --> 00:05:59,255
HEY, CAN YOU STAY AWAY
FROM THE CAMERAS, PLEASE?
155
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:01,878
YOU CAN'T GO IN FRONT OF--
PLEASE.
156
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:03,501
CAN YOU STAY AWAY
FROM OUR CAMERA PERSON?
157
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:06,331
- OKAY, WE'RE GOING.
- THAT'S NICE.
158
00:06:08,851 --> 00:06:08,989
WE ARE LEAVING.
159
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:10,508
NATHAN, YOU WANT ME
TO STOP HIM?
160
00:06:12,682 --> 00:06:12,820
I SAID, DOES HE WANT ME
TO STOP YOU?
161
00:06:14,615 --> 00:06:14,753
YEAH.
162
00:06:18,205 --> 00:06:18,343
YOU'VE NEVER MESSED
WITH SANTA CLAUS, HAVE YOU?
163
00:06:20,863 --> 00:06:21,001
- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
- JUST COOL IT, DUDE.
164
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:22,554
NO, IT'S OKAY.
JAMES.
165
00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:24,280
I'M OUT OF THE DOOR.
STOP IT.
166
00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:26,144
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- JAMES, COME WITH ME.
167
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:34,946
OKAY, I KNOW--WE'RE BOTH
TRYING TO DO OUR JOBS.
168
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:38,087
OKAY, DON'T SWEAR.
THERE'S KIDS AROUND.
169
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:39,571
- DO NOT SWEAR.
- NOW!
170
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:40,641
THERE'S KIDS AROUND.
171
00:06:42,229 --> 00:06:42,367
YOU CAN'T SWEAR
WHEN THERE'S CHILDREN AROUND.
172
00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:43,368
YES, I'M WALKING.
173
00:06:45,094 --> 00:06:45,232
WE'RE BOTH TRYING TO DO
OUR JOBS, OKAY?
174
00:06:47,268 --> 00:06:47,372
SO YOU CAN'T THINK YOUR JOB'S
MORE IMPORTANT THAN MINE.
175
00:06:48,269 --> 00:06:48,373
WELL--
176
00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:49,443
WATCH OUT.
177
00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:50,651
STAY BACK, PLEASE.
178
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:52,515
YOU CAN'T SAY THE "F" WORD
AROUND KIDS.
179
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:54,586
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
180
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:56,485
OKAY, UM...
181
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:01,524
WHEN I TALKED
TO THE MALL MANAGER
182
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:03,526
AND I TOLD HER
ABOUT THE CRIMINAL RECORD THING,
183
00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:05,908
SHE DIDN'T WANNA HAVE US.
184
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:07,737
SO WE WEREN'T ALLOWED...
185
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:10,119
- TO BE IN THERE.
- THAT CAME UP?
186
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:12,362
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL YOU
BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU'D BE SAD.
187
00:07:15,745 --> 00:07:15,883
SO I WANTED
TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.
188
00:07:18,403 --> 00:07:18,507
I MEAN, I--I HONESTLY FELT LIKE
IT'S A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.
189
00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:21,648
YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE
TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS
190
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:23,581
WHEN YOU DID SOMETHING
SO SMALL IN THE PAST.
191
00:07:25,893 --> 00:07:26,031
THAT GUY ALMOST WANTED
TO FIGHT.
192
00:07:27,861 --> 00:07:27,999
BUT JUST WHAT YOU DID,
STEPPING UP TO HIM,
193
00:07:29,587 --> 00:07:29,725
JUST AGAIN PROVES,
LIKE, MY POINT
194
00:07:31,589 --> 00:07:31,727
OF HOW GREAT
OF A GUY YOU ARE.
195
00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:33,901
OH.
196
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:35,972
AND JUST HOW MUCH
YOU DESERVE TO BE DOING THIS.
197
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:37,629
WELL, YEAH,
THIS IS GREAT.
198
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:39,597
THE LITTLE KIDS ARE ENJOYING IT.
THAT WAS FUN.
199
00:07:41,357 --> 00:07:41,461
THE MAIN POINT IS
WE MADE A STANCE.
200
00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:43,359
- OKAY.
- AND WE DID WHAT WAS RIGHT.
201
00:07:46,155 --> 00:07:46,293
ALL RIGHT.
202
00:07:47,294 --> 00:07:47,432
YOU UNDERSTAND?
203
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:49,089
YEAH,
I'M WITH YOU THERE.
204
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:50,884
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, BRO.
- OKAY, GUY.
205
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:52,575
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
206
00:07:53,611 --> 00:07:53,749
♪ NOEL, NOEL
207
00:08:00,238 --> 00:08:00,376
IT FELT GOOD
TO HELP SOMEONE
208
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:02,240
WITH A CRIMINAL RECORD
REDEEM THEMSELVES.
209
00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:04,173
BUT WHAT IF
I COULD PREVENT SOMEONE
210
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:06,382
FROM ENTERING A LIFE OF CRIME
WHILE THEY WERE STILL YOUNG?
211
00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:09,005
WHEN I SEE STUFF
LIKE THIS,
212
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:11,214
I SEE WHAT'S PROBABLY A TEENAGER
HEADED DOWN THE WRONG PATH.
213
00:08:14,252 --> 00:08:14,390
SO I DECIDED TO CATCH A TEEN
DOING GRAFFITI
214
00:08:16,668 --> 00:08:16,806
AND THEN WARN HIS PARENTS BEFORE
HE TURNS TO A LIFE OF CRIME.
215
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:20,603
TO DO THIS, I CREATED A SERIES
OF FAKE PROMOTIONAL POSTERS
216
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:24,262
FOR MY TV SHOW
THAT MAY SEEM INNOCUOUS,
217
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:26,644
BUT TO AN IMMATURE VANDAL,
218
00:08:28,404 --> 00:08:28,508
WOULD BE EXTREMELY TEMPTING
TO DEFACE.
219
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:30,440
TO SEE WHICH ONE
WOULD WORK BEST,
220
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:32,684
WE LEFT THE POSTERS UP
FOR A WEEK IN SEVERAL LOCATIONS
221
00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:35,376
AROUND THE CITY
OF LOS ANGELES.
222
00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:36,999
TO MY SURPRISE,
223
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:38,863
THE "EVERY PENNY COUNTS" POSTER,
224
00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:41,003
"RISK EQUALS REWARD,"
225
00:08:42,694 --> 00:08:42,832
"TIE SHOES FOR SAFETY,"
226
00:08:44,696 --> 00:08:44,834
AND "BE FLEXIBLE"
227
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:46,629
DIDN'T ATTRACT ANY GRAFFITI
AT ALL.
228
00:08:48,907 --> 00:08:49,045
HOWEVER, "DREAM BIG"
229
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:51,151
AND "STAND UP
TO THE BIG GUYS" DID.
230
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:54,810
I DECIDED TO GO
WITH "STAND UP TO THE BIG GUYS"
231
00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:57,502
SINCE THERE WAS OPPORTUNITY
FOR TWOS
232
00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:00,401
AND PUT IT UP ON A WALL
NEAR A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL.
233
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:03,646
I LEFT A PEN
AND ADDED A STICKER
234
00:09:05,614 --> 00:09:05,752
THAT WOULD MAKE THE ACT
EVEN MORE IRRESISTIBLE
235
00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:07,374
TO AN IMMATURE SMART ALECK.
236
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:09,618
WITH ALL THE ELEMENTS
IN PLACE,
237
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:11,516
I WATCHED FROM A VAN
ACROSS THE STREET,
238
00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:13,449
READY TO POUNCE
AT ANY MOMENT.
239
00:09:16,038 --> 00:09:16,176
WE'LL CHECK BACK WITH THIS
IN A BIT.
240
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:17,384
BUT FIRST...
241
00:09:19,489 --> 00:09:19,593
TERRY FOX HAS BEEN RUNNING
THIS PETTING ZOO
242
00:09:22,182 --> 00:09:22,320
IN OAK GLEN, CALIFORNIA
FOR YEARS.
243
00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:24,184
- CAN I TOUCH THE FAT PIG?
- YES, YOU MAY.
244
00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:25,426
ABSOLUTELY.
245
00:09:27,118 --> 00:09:27,256
BUT WITH SEVERAL
OTHER PETTING ZOOS
246
00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:29,223
LOCATED CLOSER TO THE MAJOR CITY
OF LOS ANGELES,
247
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:31,398
TERRY NEEDS TO GIVE PEOPLE
A GOOD REASON TO VISIT HERS.
248
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:34,021
AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN.
249
00:09:35,816 --> 00:09:35,954
PEOPLE DON'T GO
TO SEAWORLD TO SEE A WHALE.
250
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:38,681
THEY GO TO SEE SHAMU.
251
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:40,614
- RIGHT.
- WHO'S YOUR SHAMU?
252
00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:43,099
OUR SHAMU IS OUR PETTING FARM.
OUR PIGS, OUR GOATS.
253
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:47,759
SHAMU IS ONE ANIMAL.
254
00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:49,209
RIGHT.
255
00:09:50,762 --> 00:09:50,900
SO IF I HAD ONE ANIMAL
TO PICK,
256
00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:53,040
UM, IT WOULD BE THE PIGS.
257
00:09:56,112 --> 00:09:56,250
THE PIGS IS MULTIPLE...
258
00:09:57,976 --> 00:09:58,114
- MULTIPLE, YES.
- ANIMALS.
259
00:09:59,012 --> 00:09:59,150
MM-HMM.
260
00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:00,841
- SO YOU DON'T--
- YOU JUST--
261
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:02,153
YOU DON'T HAVE A SHAMU.
262
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:04,120
WE JUST DON'T HAVE ONE SHAMU.
NO, WE DON'T.
263
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:06,088
MY MISSION WAS TO MAKE
OAK GLEN PETTING ZOO
264
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:07,158
A DESTINATION.
265
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:09,022
AND WHAT THEY NEEDED
WAS A STAR ANIMAL.
266
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:10,748
THE PLAN:
TO CREATE A HERO PIG
267
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:12,784
BY STAGING A VIRAL VIDEO
268
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:14,717
IN WHICH HE RESCUES A BABY GOAT
FROM DROWNING.
269
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:17,099
OH, OKAY.
270
00:10:18,963 --> 00:10:19,101
SO I THINK
IF YOU HAD A VIDEO LIKE THAT,
271
00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:21,172
PEOPLE WOULD COME FROM PLACES
AS FOREIGN AS JAPAN,
272
00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:23,484
AND EVEN MORE FOREIGN
LIKE CHINA,
273
00:10:25,072 --> 00:10:25,210
JUST TO SEE YOUR HERO PIG.
274
00:10:27,903 --> 00:10:28,041
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
275
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:30,388
THE FIRST STEP
WAS PICKING OUR ANIMALS.
276
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:32,045
VINCE WOULD BE OUR HERO PIG,
277
00:10:34,288 --> 00:10:34,426
AND GANGSTER THE GOAT
WOULD BE OUR VICTIM.
278
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:36,221
THE ZOO HAD
A LARGE TROUT POND,
279
00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:38,154
SO THIS WOULD BE THE SETTING
FOR OUR RESCUE.
280
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:40,605
BUT WHEN I BROUGHT VINCE
NEAR THE WATER,
281
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:42,469
I REALIZED
HE WAS AN INCREDIBLE COWARD.
282
00:10:44,057 --> 00:10:44,195
OKAY, OKAY!
283
00:10:45,886 --> 00:10:46,024
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
- NO, NO, NO, NO!
284
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:47,819
SO WE HIRED
SOME ANIMAL HANDLERS
285
00:10:49,545 --> 00:10:49,649
TO BRING IN
A PROFESSIONAL MOVIE PIG
286
00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:51,443
THAT LOOKED IDENTICAL
TO VINCE.
287
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:53,342
THE QUESTION NOW WAS
HOW DO WE GET A PIG
288
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:54,654
TO RESCUE A GOAT ON CAMERA?
289
00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:56,172
ANSWER?
YOU CAN'T.
290
00:10:57,864 --> 00:10:58,002
SO I DECIDED TO HAVE
TWO SCUBA DIVERS
291
00:10:59,728 --> 00:10:59,866
SECRETLY SUBMERGED
BENEATH THE ANIMALS
292
00:11:01,971 --> 00:11:02,109
GUIDING THE PIG
TOWARDS THE GOAT
293
00:11:03,939 --> 00:11:04,077
TO MAKE IT LOOK
LIKE A REAL RESCUE.
294
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:05,803
DURING
THE FIRST COUPLE ATTEMPTS,
295
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:07,839
THE PIG KEPT SLIPPING
OUT OF THE DIVERS' HANDS.
296
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:09,738
SO WE DECIDED TO BUILD
AN UNDERWATER TRACK
297
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:11,671
OUT OF PVC TO GUIDE THE PIG
298
00:11:13,569 --> 00:11:13,673
LIKE A BOWLING BALL
GOING DOWN A BUMPER LANE.
299
00:11:15,398 --> 00:11:15,536
THIS WORKED A LOT BETTER,
300
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:17,642
AND I WAS HOPEFUL IT WOULD
FOOL THE INTERNET AUDIENCE
301
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:19,402
INTO BELIEVING
THIS VIDEO WAS REAL.
302
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:22,164
BUT AS THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE
INVOLVED BEGAN TO GROW,
303
00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:24,373
INCLUDING ANIMAL TRAINERS,
STUNTMEN,
304
00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:26,651
AND HUMANE SOCIETY REPS,
I STARTED TO GET WORRIED.
305
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:29,827
AFTER ALL, WORD COULDN'T GET OUT
THAT THIS WAS FAKE
306
00:11:31,863 --> 00:11:32,001
OR IT WOULD BE
A DISASTROUS SCANDAL
307
00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:33,244
FOR OAK GLEN.
308
00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:35,453
SO I ASKED EVERYONE ON SET TO
SIGN NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS
309
00:11:38,387 --> 00:11:38,525
STATING THAT THEY SWORE
NOT TO TELL ANYONE
310
00:11:40,044 --> 00:11:40,182
THE RESCUE WAS FAKE
311
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:42,080
OR ELSE THEY WOULD FACE
THE DEATH PENALTY.
312
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:44,151
EVEN THOUGH MY LAWYER SAID
THE DEATH PENALTY CLAUSE
313
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:46,015
WAS NOT ENFORCEABLE,
314
00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:47,776
I STILL WANTED
TO LEAVE IT IN THERE
315
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:49,536
SO PEOPLE KNEW
HOW SERIOUS I WAS.
316
00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:51,434
AFTER SEVERAL FAILED ATTEMPTS,
317
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:53,402
WE FINALLY GOT
THE RESCUE ON TAPE.
318
00:12:08,866 --> 00:12:09,004
WE HAD OUR VIDEO.
AND IT WAS GREAT.
319
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:10,902
BUT NOW WE NEEDED
A CONVINCING BACKSTORY.
320
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:13,663
IF THIS GOES VIRAL,
THE PRESS WILL WANNA KNOW--
321
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:15,804
WHO FILMED THIS VIDEO?
322
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:17,944
I COULDN'T BE ME WITH
MY BACKGROUND IN TELEVISION.
323
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:20,325
PEOPLE WOULD SMELL A HOAX
FROM A MILE AWAY.
324
00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:23,225
BUT THERE WAS ONE PERSON
NO ONE WOULD EVER SUSPECT.
325
00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:25,572
SANTA CLAUS.
326
00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:28,333
IN ORDER TO DISTANCE MYSELF
327
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:30,128
FROM THE PIG RESCUING
GOAT VIDEO,
328
00:12:32,199 --> 00:12:32,337
I GOT JAMES TO AGREE TO SAY
THAT HE WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT IT.
329
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:33,925
SO FOR BELIEVABILITY,
330
00:12:35,582 --> 00:12:35,720
I NEEDED TO RECORD AUDIO
OF JAMES
331
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:37,515
TO MAKE IT SOUND
LIKE HE WAS THERE
332
00:12:38,688 --> 00:12:38,792
ON THE DAY IT WAS FILMED.
333
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:40,690
GOAT IN THE WATER!
GOAT IN THE WATER!
334
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:41,864
GOAT IN THE WATER!
335
00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:43,521
YEAH.
GOAT IN THE WATER.
336
00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:45,661
NOW, I NEEDED TO BE SURE
THAT TERRY WAS WITH THE PROGRAM.
337
00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:47,559
SO WHEN THE MEDIA
COMES A-KNOCKING...
338
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:48,698
MM-HMM.
339
00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:50,355
- HERE'S WHAT YOU SAY.
- OKAY.
340
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:51,874
- VERBATIM.
- OKAY.
341
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:53,842
I SOMETIMES TAKE THE ANIMALS
OUT TO THE POND.
342
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:55,982
THAT DAY, I LEFT TO GO GET
MY LIPSTICK FROM THE OFFICE.
343
00:12:59,054 --> 00:12:59,192
THAT'S WHEN THE GOAT
MUST'VE SLIPPED IN.
344
00:13:01,056 --> 00:13:01,194
I NEVER SAW THE RESCUE.
345
00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:03,230
HOWEVER, A GOOD SAMARITAN
SHOWED ME THE VIDEO.
346
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:06,337
I NEVER GOT HIS NAME
OR HIS GENDER.
347
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:09,098
NOW REPEAT.
348
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:10,548
GIMME A MINUTE.
349
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:11,721
I SOMETIMES...
350
00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:13,793
I SOMETIMES TAKE THE ANIMALS
OUT TO THE POND.
351
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:17,727
HERE, I DID WRITE IT DOWN
FOR YOU.
352
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:19,453
THANK YOU.
353
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:21,248
WITH TERRY'S SCRIPT
TO MEMORIZE,
354
00:13:23,112 --> 00:13:23,250
THE HERO PIG STORY
WAS BECOMING MORE CONCRETE.
355
00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:25,080
"WHEN THE GOAT SLIPPED IN."
OKAY.
356
00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:27,185
BUT THEN I REALIZED
I HAD ONE MORE MOUTH TO SHUT.
357
00:13:28,946 --> 00:13:29,084
WHILE WE WERE FILMING
THE RESCUE,
358
00:13:30,706 --> 00:13:30,810
ONE OF THE SCUBA DIVERS,
ALEX,
359
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:32,708
WAS TELLING ME
SOME PRETTY PERSONAL STUFF
360
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:34,641
ABOUT ACTORS HE'S WORKED WITH
IN THE PAST.
361
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:36,401
JENNIFER ANISTON,
BEN STILLER.
362
00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:37,575
BEN'S PRETTY BOLD.
363
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:39,439
HE HAD TO DO SOME KINDA
NUDE WATER STUFF
364
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:41,372
OVER IN HAWAII...
FOR ALONG CAME POLLY.
365
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:43,443
I DID THAT MOVIE
WITH HIM.
366
00:13:45,031 --> 00:13:45,169
ALEX WAS CLEARLY
A LIABILITY,
367
00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:47,274
AND I COULDN'T HAVE HIM
SPILLING DETAILS ABOUT OUR VIDEO
368
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:49,000
ON HIS NEXT JOB.
369
00:13:51,071 --> 00:13:51,209
SO I ASKED HIM TO MEET ME
AT THE PICO SUBWAY STATION
370
00:13:53,039 --> 00:13:53,177
TO HAVE A LITTLE
REMINDER CHAT.
371
00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:55,075
- THANKS FOR MEETING ME HERE.
- WHAT'S UP?
372
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:57,008
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- NO WORRIES. GOOD.
373
00:13:58,596 --> 00:13:58,734
GOOD.
OH, YOU'RE A BIT TENSE.
374
00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:00,356
SO, UH--
WELL, YOU KNOW--
375
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:01,564
STAND RIGHT HERE.
376
00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:03,152
- SO HOW YOU BEEN?
- GOOD.
377
00:14:04,257 --> 00:14:04,395
I JUST WANTED TO ASK.
378
00:14:06,397 --> 00:14:06,535
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT "PIG
RESCUES GOAT" VIDEO WE MADE?
379
00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:07,501
YEAH.
380
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:09,503
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING
TO ANYONE ABOUT THAT
381
00:14:10,573 --> 00:14:10,711
OR ANYTHING, HAVE YOU?
382
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:12,782
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE TRYING
TO LIKE THREATEN ME.
383
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:14,508
- WHAT?
- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE--
384
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:16,096
NO, NO!
NOT AT ALL!
385
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:18,271
YOU'RE SHOULDERS WERE SORE.
THAT'S WHY I WAS DOING THAT.
386
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:19,306
COME ON.
387
00:14:20,514 --> 00:14:20,652
JUST 'CAUSE I'D BE VERY...
388
00:14:22,068 --> 00:14:22,206
- VERY UPSET...
- YEAH.
389
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:23,897
IF YOU TOLD SOMEONE
ABOUT--
390
00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:25,761
- COULD YOU--
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
391
00:14:27,556 --> 00:14:27,694
OKAY, YES, I'M SORRY.
NO, I'M SORRY. YES.
392
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,006
I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
393
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:30,904
YEAH, BUT PLEASE
DON'T TELL ANYONE, OKAY?
394
00:14:32,526 --> 00:14:32,664
- OKAY. THANK YOU.
- NO WORRIES.
395
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:33,631
OKAY.
396
00:14:35,391 --> 00:14:35,529
MY PARANOIA
WAS GETTING THE BEST OF ME.
397
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:37,324
THE VIDEO HADN'T EVEN
BEEN UPLOADED,
398
00:14:38,947 --> 00:14:39,085
AND I WAS ALREADY
GETTING WORRIED
399
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:40,845
ABOUT PEOPLE REVEALING
THE SECRET.
400
00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:42,640
PLUS,
WATCHING THE VIDEO AGAIN,
401
00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:44,642
I STARTED TO DOUBT
THAT THIS WOULD FOOL ANYONE.
402
00:14:45,712 --> 00:14:45,850
GOAT IN THE WATER!
403
00:14:47,748 --> 00:14:47,852
ALL I COULD DO AT THIS POINT
WAS UPLOAD THE VIDEO
404
00:14:49,026 --> 00:14:49,164
AND LET THE PUBLIC DECIDE.
405
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:50,372
GOAT IN THE WATER!
406
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:53,237
WHEN I WOKE UP
THE NEXT MORNING,
407
00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:55,273
I WAS ASTOUNDED TO SEE
THAT THE VIDEO HAD BEEN POSTED
408
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,034
ON GAWKER, eBAUMSWORLD,
409
00:14:58,794 --> 00:14:58,898
AND A BODYBUILDING
MESSAGE BOARD.
410
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:00,658
IT HAD OVER 3,000 VIEWS,
411
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:02,763
AND THAT WAS WAY MORE
THAN I EVER EXPECTED.
412
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:05,352
THEN I SAW IT WAS CLIMBING
THE CHARTS ON REDDIT.
413
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,010
THEN I CHECKED THE VIEW COUNT
AN HOUR LATER.
414
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:10,150
HOLY.
415
00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:13,291
BY THE WAY, THIS MAY SOUND
LIKE A SEA RESCUE,
416
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:15,328
BUT A GOAT--
A BABY GOAT--
417
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:16,605
GETS STUCK IN WATER.
418
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:18,227
THIS IS SOME PIG.
YOU HAVE TO SEE IT.
419
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:20,471
A GOAT AT A PETTING ZOO
GOT STUCK IN A LAKE.
420
00:15:22,852 --> 00:15:22,956
- THIS REALLY HAPPENED.
- THAT WAS COOL!
421
00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:25,821
HAVE NO FEAR,
THERE'S A PIG THERE.
422
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:27,823
I MEAN, YOU COULDN'T DO THIS
AT WARNER BROTHERS
423
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:31,033
AS A CARTOON
AND MAKE IT SEEM MORE REALISTIC.
424
00:15:34,071 --> 00:15:34,209
WE'RE WAYWARD DUTY-BOUND
TO PASS THIS ON.
425
00:15:36,556 --> 00:15:36,694
IT'S THE LEADING
WEB VIDEO TODAY.
426
00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:38,903
WHILE WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING
IF IT'S REAL,
427
00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:41,906
THIS WAS APPARENTLY SHOT
AT A PETTING ZOO.
428
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:43,321
GOAT IN THE WATER!
429
00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:45,392
THAT'S A BABY GOAT
WHO GOT OUT INTO TOO DEEP WATER.
430
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:46,946
BEGINS CRYING FOR HELP.
431
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:48,602
ENTER THIS PIG.
432
00:15:57,611 --> 00:15:57,749
IT SEEMED LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD
WAS TALKING ABOUT MY VIDEO.
433
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:01,098
FOR A MOMENT, I FELT BAD
BECAUSE IT WASN'T REAL.
434
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:03,721
BUT THEN I REALIZED
THAT THAT DIDN'T MATTER.
435
00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:05,585
INTERSPECIES,
HE WENT AND HELPED--
436
00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:07,932
LEARN FROM IT, HUMANS.
437
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:09,416
IN THESE CYNICAL TIMES,
438
00:16:11,315 --> 00:16:11,453
PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE
FOR SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN.
439
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:13,524
AND I GAVE PEOPLE A REMINDER
THAT IT'S OKAY JUST TO BELIEVE.
440
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:18,356
HOW DID THE PIG
FREE THE GOAT?
441
00:16:20,151 --> 00:16:20,289
JUST KINDA GUIDED IT,
JUST PUSHED HIM.
442
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:24,086
EVERY DAY WITH ELIZABETH
IS LIKE "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"
443
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:26,088
I ALWAYS KNEW THIS VIDEO
WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL.
444
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:29,195
AND THAT'S WHY,
IN THE END,
445
00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:31,335
I DECIDED NOT TO PUT THE NAME
OF THE PETTING ZOO ON IT.
446
00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:33,268
I DIDN'T WANT IT
TO COME ACROSS LIKE AN AD,
447
00:16:35,097 --> 00:16:35,235
- YOU KNOW, FOR THE PETTING ZOO.
- MM-HMM, RIGHT.
448
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,134
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
A BIT TRANSPARENT.
449
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:39,308
BUT IF PEOPLE WOULD'VE KNOWN
THAT IT WAS OAK TREE VILLAGE--
450
00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:41,586
BUT I MEAN,
YOU CAN'T BE SO SELFISH.
451
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:43,278
SELFISH?
452
00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:45,556
WELL, I MEAN,
IF PEOPLE LOVE THE VIDEO,
453
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:47,247
IT'S LIKE--
454
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:49,077
CAN'T JUST BE
ALL ABOUT THE BUSINESS.
455
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:51,044
BUT THAT'S WHAT IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT
456
00:16:52,287 --> 00:16:52,425
WHEN YOU FIRST CAME UP.
457
00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:54,358
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
ABOUT THE BUSINESS.
458
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:56,187
TERRY JUST DIDN'T SEEM
TO UNDERSTAND.
459
00:16:58,086 --> 00:16:58,224
BUT I DON'T LEAVE THOSE
THAT I HELP EMPTY-HANDED.
460
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:01,710
THAT'S WHY I MADE HER
THIS SIGN.
461
00:17:06,163 --> 00:17:06,301
AS MY STAKEOUT
FOR A YOUNG VANDAL CONTINUED,
462
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:08,165
I WAS STARTING
TO GET FRUSTRATED.
463
00:17:10,098 --> 00:17:10,236
I'D BEEN MONITORING
THE POSTER FOR OVER FOUR HOURS,
464
00:17:12,272 --> 00:17:12,410
AND NO ONE HAD DEFACED IT.
465
00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:14,447
FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT
THIS WASN'T GOING TO WORK.
466
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:17,312
BUT I WAS QUICKLY
PROVEN WRONG.
467
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:19,762
OH, HE'S TAKING THE PEN.
468
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:22,972
OH, MY GOD.
469
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:25,147
HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT.
ON CAMERA.
470
00:17:29,186 --> 00:17:29,324
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
471
00:17:32,361 --> 00:17:32,499
- HEY, MAN.
- HEY.
472
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:34,398
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
- IT'S GOING.
473
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:36,193
COOL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
474
00:17:37,987 --> 00:17:38,091
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
YOU DREW A.
475
00:17:39,782 --> 00:17:39,920
- YEAH.
- YEAH, THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
476
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:41,888
WE'RE DOING A SHOW
ABOUT TEENS--COOL TEENS--
477
00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:43,648
- CALLED "TEEN STREET."
- UH-HUH.
478
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:45,788
IS IT COOL IF WE ASK YOU
A FEW QUESTIONS FOR THE SHOW?
479
00:17:47,514 --> 00:17:47,652
- SURE, NO PROBLEM.
- ALL RIGHT, COOL.
480
00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:49,516
THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
THAT'S MEGA FUNNY.
481
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:50,724
THIS TEEN WAS NO GOOD,
482
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:53,002
AND HIS PARENTS NEEDED TO KNOW
WHAT HE DID.
483
00:17:54,418 --> 00:17:54,556
SO TO EARN HIS TRUST,
484
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:56,247
I TOLD HIM
WE WANTED TO MAKE
485
00:17:58,042 --> 00:17:58,146
AN ENTIRE "TEEN STREET" EPISODE
ABOUT HIM.
486
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:00,286
SO WE SPENT THE REST
OF HIS AFTERNOON
487
00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:02,081
SHOOTING SEGMENTS
FOR A FAKE SHOW.
488
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:05,360
WHAT UP!
I'M KYLE.
489
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,016
19 YEARS OLD.
AND THIS IS "TEEN STREET."
490
00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:08,915
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
YOU.
491
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:11,159
I DO WHATEVER
THE I WANT,
492
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:12,608
AND I CAN DO
WHATEVER I WANT.
493
00:18:14,403 --> 00:18:14,541
THE THING I'M MOST PROUD OF
IS I MAKELOAD OF MONEY.
494
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:16,578
NO REGRETS.
495
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:17,613
LISTEN TO THAT!
496
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:18,545
BAM.
497
00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:20,685
YEAH, I SKATED FOR SIX YEARS,
PLAYED THE DRUMS FOR SIX YEARS,
498
00:18:23,274 --> 00:18:23,412
AND DID MUAY TAI
AND BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU.
499
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:25,207
YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR MOM.
500
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:27,036
IF YOU DON'T,
GO YOURSELF.
501
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:28,762
THIS SHOW IS ABOUT
THE COOLEST TEENS IN TOWN.
502
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:30,247
"TEEN STREET," BITCHES!
503
00:18:35,528 --> 00:18:35,666
FIRST TATTOO WHEN I WAS 13.
504
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:37,737
THIS IS THE ONLY GIRL
THAT NEVER COMPLAINS TO ME.
505
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:42,086
ALL RIGHT, SO NOW I'M GONNA
SHOW YOU WHERE I LIVE.
506
00:18:43,052 --> 00:18:43,156
LET'S DO THIS.
507
00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:44,985
FOR THE FINAL PART
OF THE SEGMENT,
508
00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:46,884
I SAID WE HAD TO DO A TOUR
OF HIS HOUSE.
509
00:18:48,368 --> 00:18:48,506
HE DIDN'T KNOW IT,
510
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:50,474
BUT HE WAS LEADING ME
RIGHT TO HIS PARENTS,
511
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:52,614
AND I WAS GOING TO TELL THEM
WHAT HE DID TO MY POSTER.
512
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:55,064
WHAT UP?
THIS IS MY PAD.
513
00:18:56,894 --> 00:18:57,032
THIS IS WHERE I SPEND MY TIME
MAKING TROUBLE.
514
00:18:58,758 --> 00:18:58,896
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU A TOUR
REAL QUICK.
515
00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:00,691
SO WHO'S THIS LOVELY LADY?
516
00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:02,969
- THIS IS MY MOM SHERI.
- AWESOME, MAN.
517
00:19:05,005 --> 00:19:05,109
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- GUESS TEENS HAVE MOMS.
518
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:06,869
- RIGHT?
- YEAH.
519
00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:09,044
ALL RIGHT, BUT WE NEED
TO STOP LAUGHING FOR A MOMENT,
520
00:19:11,529 --> 00:19:11,667
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO SIT DOWN.
I HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.
521
00:19:13,911 --> 00:19:14,049
OKAY.
522
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:17,294
HE'S DRAWN TWO PENISES
RIGHT THERE.
523
00:19:21,781 --> 00:19:21,919
AND YOU CAN SEE
I'M HOLDING THEM
524
00:19:23,541 --> 00:19:23,679
AS IF I'M MASTURBATING
THESE TWO MEN.
525
00:19:26,268 --> 00:19:26,406
YOUR S--YOU'RE LAUGHING.
526
00:19:28,063 --> 00:19:28,167
- I DON'T--
- WHAT DO YOU FIND--
527
00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:29,927
- IS THAT FUNNY TO YOU?
- I--NO.
528
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:31,653
- THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
- THE PENISES?
529
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:33,275
- DO YOU LIKE THAT?
- NO.
530
00:19:34,932 --> 00:19:35,070
BEING HELD LIKE THAT?
531
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:36,761
IS THAT--
SO THIS IS--OKAY.
532
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:38,038
SO THIS IS FUNNY TO YOU.
533
00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:40,213
TO MY SURPRISE, EVEN HIS MOM
WASN'T TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.
534
00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:42,146
LUCKILY, I HAD AN LAPD OFFICER
WITH ME TO SET HIM STRAIGHT.
535
00:19:46,081 --> 00:19:46,185
WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A CRIME.
536
00:19:47,945 --> 00:19:48,083
IF SOMEONE SEES YOU
COMMIT THE CRIME,
537
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:49,878
YOU CAN GET ARRESTED
AND GO TO JAIL.
538
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:51,811
AND BELIEVE ME,
YOU DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL.
539
00:19:53,744 --> 00:19:53,882
WOULD DRAWING PENISES
GOING INTO SOMEONE'S HAND
540
00:19:57,092 --> 00:19:57,196
BE A SEGUE TO, YOU KNOW,
MURDER?
541
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:00,302
OF COURSE NOT.
I DON'T THINK SO.
542
00:20:01,752 --> 00:20:01,890
NEVER?
543
00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:03,167
I'M NOT GONNA SAY NEVER.
544
00:20:04,686 --> 00:20:04,824
SO MAY--YES.
SO THEN YES.
545
00:20:06,757 --> 00:20:06,895
- IF HE CHOKED ON IT, MAYBE.
- KYLE.
546
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:09,242
SHOW RESPECT
AND APOLOGIZE.
547
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:13,522
IT'S A GOOD WAY TO GO.
548
00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:14,799
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
549
00:20:16,629 --> 00:20:16,767
I DID ENJOY DRAWING PENISES
NEXT TO YOUR FACE,
550
00:20:18,389 --> 00:20:18,527
BUT I REALLY DO APOLOGIZE.
551
00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:19,839
NO, I DON'T ACCEPT THAT.
552
00:20:21,703 --> 00:20:21,841
I DON'T ACCEPT AN APOLOGY
THAT STARTS LIKE THAT.
553
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:26,155
I APOLOGIZE FOR DRAWING
A PENIS NEXT TO YOUR FACE.
554
00:20:27,605 --> 00:20:27,743
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
555
00:20:30,643 --> 00:20:30,781
YOU'RE A GOOD KID.
YOU HAVE A LOT OF POTENTIAL.
556
00:20:33,991 --> 00:20:34,129
AND TO BE HONEST,
I SEE SOME OF MYSELF IN YOU.
557
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:38,271
BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY
TO BECOME MORE LIKE ME
558
00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:42,896
AND LESS LIKE YOU.
559
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:44,657
NO, I DISAGREE.
560
00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:46,521
I THINK HE SHOULD MORE
LIKE HIMSELF--
561
00:20:48,350 --> 00:20:48,488
WELL, HE SHOULDN'T BE
LIKE HIMSELF OBVIOUSLY.
562
00:20:49,662 --> 00:20:49,800
SOMEONE WHO DRAWS PENISES.
563
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:01,846
IT'S ALWAYS AMAZING TO SEE
564
00:21:02,951 --> 00:21:03,089
ANIMALS HELPING EACH OTHER OUT.
565
00:21:04,711 --> 00:21:04,849
THAT GUY SAID--
DIDN'T HE SAY SOMETHING LIKE,
566
00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:06,472
"GOAT IN THE WATER!
GOAT IN THE WATER!"
567
00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:07,990
- YEAH.
- OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
568
00:21:08,922 --> 00:21:09,060
AND THE PIG JUMPED IN.
569
00:21:10,407 --> 00:21:10,545
HE'S DEFINITELY
ON A MISSION.
570
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:12,201
HE'S DEFINITELY GOING
TO SAVE THE GOAT.
571
00:21:13,789 --> 00:21:13,927
LIKE, THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN
SAY THAT HE'S NOT.
572
00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:14,652
I LOVE THIS VIDEO.
42040
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