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Morning. Morning. Oh!
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:08,173
Happy Halloween.
Hi, guys. Hey.
3
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,509
Uh, Ice Spice? Like.
4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,677
No. Box.
5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,053
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,471
It's Halloween here at Abbott,
7
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:18,016
and some of the costumes
can be a little risqué,
8
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:20,269
so I have a box full of backups.
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,854
I want everyone to have a shot
10
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,439
at winning the big
costume contest
11
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,732
that's later today,
12
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,024
so I need to make
sure they're both
13
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:28,527
age and fear appropriate.
14
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,571
Aah! Oh, my God.
15
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,531
No. Too scary. Good Lord.
16
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,241
Bin, please.
17
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,412
Oh! Little Black Panther.
18
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,413
Oh. Wakanda forever!
19
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,831
Maybe just Wakanda for the day.
20
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,916
And maybe just keep
your mask on. All right?
21
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,544
Okay. Who's next?
22
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,724
Yes.
23
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,100
Oh, sorry I'm a little late.
24
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,395
Oh, no problem, Nina.
Good to see you.
25
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,481
So, uh, what do you have
planned for Halloween today?
26
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,649
Every year, a teacher is
given the responsibility
27
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,068
of turning the library
into a Halloween party
28
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,279
that all of the
students can enjoy.
29
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,741
And this year, Abbott
is keeping it classy,
30
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:19,203
because all of the
treats are up to me...
31
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,124
the number-one trick!
32
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,626
{\an8}Well, we're going to be
playing some ghostly games,
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00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,503
{\an8}decorating some creepy crafts,
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00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,380
{\an8}and the main event,
bobbing for apples.
35
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:31,673
{\an8}You know, I was talking
to some of the parents
36
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,716
{\an8}at the PTA meeting... Mm-hmm?
37
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:33,842
{\an8}and we'd prefer if the kids
38
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,010
{\an8}didn't bob for apples.
39
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,220
{\an8}It's unsanitary.
40
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,471
{\an8}But she's been doing that
41
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,931
{\an8}since before I even got here.
42
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,349
{\an8}It's great.
43
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,433
We'd prefer you didn't do it.
44
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,601
But it's tradition.
45
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,685
So is tipping, and I'd prefer
46
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,062
we didn't do that either.
47
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,147
{\an8}Well, I will take that
under consideration.
48
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,398
{\an8}No consideration needed.
49
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,527
{\an8}Just don't do it.
50
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,736
{\an8}Can I offer you a cupcake?
51
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,238
{\an8}Are you handing those
out to the kids?
52
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,989
{\an8}'Cause you can't do that.
53
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,950
{\an8}And we all know why.
54
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,701
{\an8}Do we? I certainly don't.
55
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,954
{\an8}They could have
razor blades in them.
56
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,833
{\an8}Or worse, nuts.
57
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,792
{\an8}Happy Halloween.
58
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,754
{\an8}The happiest.
59
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,297
{\an8}Boy, you prank your
cousin one time
60
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,966
{\an8}by putting a razor
blade in a cookie,
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00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,803
{\an8}and all of a sudden, it
starts a nationwide hoax.
62
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,145
{\an8}I did a creepy scratch
'cause it's Halloween.
63
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,480
{\an8}Yeah, I didn't like that. Oh.
64
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,815
{\an8}But I love this! Oh!
65
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,567
{\an8}Okay. Say the line.
66
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,485
Bingo. Dino DNA.
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00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,903
Oh, my God. Uncanny.
68
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,613
It's like I'm
watching the movie.
69
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:37,894
Okay, now say your
line. Oh, okay.
70
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:42,077
Aah! I'm an ancient mosquito
who drank dinosaur blood,
71
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,495
and now I'm trapped in amber.
72
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,081
It's spot on! We're
such a movie couple.
73
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,208
{\an8}I know. We love film. Uh-huh.
74
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,335
{\an8}Um, Pat Sajak.
75
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,838
{\an8}Wow. You got a little
wheel and everything. Yeah.
76
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,673
{\an8}Although, interesting
choice for you,
77
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,841
{\an8}given his politics.
78
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,092
{\an8}Well, I've taken a step back
79
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,343
{\an8}from Elon Musk's internet,
80
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,469
{\an8}and now it sometimes
takes me weeks
81
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,096
{\an8}to find these things out.
82
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,598
{\an8}So, you know, I figure,
if I didn't know...
83
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,349
{\an8}Yeah, you already bought
the suit when you found out.
84
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,184
Yeah. No returns. Yeah.
85
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,936
Okay. Now, do us.
86
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:10,439
Gregory is sexy gumballs,
87
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,524
and Janine is that thing
88
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,192
on top of an exterminator truck.
89
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,278
Very funny.
90
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,196
Yeah, it's...
91
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,865
Uh. You don't...
Do you really not
92
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,200
know who we are?
Well, give me a hint.
93
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,368
I'll give you a hint.
94
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,703
Okay. Chill chill, chill.
95
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,371
It's a movie,
starts with a "J."
96
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,540
"Jumanji!" No, that
doesn't make any sense.
97
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,500
Um, "Jennifer's Body." What?
98
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:31,668
N-No. "Jurassic Park."
99
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,545
I-I'm Mr. DNA, and Janine
100
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,464
is the mosquito
trapped in amber. Oh.
101
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,634
Ohhh, yeah. Yeah,
I see it. Yeah.
102
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,720
The best costumes always
require an explanation.
103
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,973
Well, thank you, Jacob. Yeah.
104
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,225
First, we're gonna win
the Abbott costume contest
105
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:48,727
later today.
106
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,355
Then we're gonna win the
Rubensteins contest tonight.
107
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,648
Get your broom out, brother.
108
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,191
It's gonna be a sweep. Mm-hmm.
109
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,318
A sweetie sweep.
110
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,569
Hey, who wants a spin?
111
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,904
Yeah, sure. I'll go.
112
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,238
Uh-huh. Okay.
113
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,574
Yeah.
114
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,619
Oh.
115
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,163
Well, accurate. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
116
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,498
That was fun. Yeah.
117
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,042
Who you supposed to be?
118
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,252
I kill vampires,
and I hate taxes.
119
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,171
Ah, Blade.
120
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,255
What about you, Mr. Johnson?
121
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:18,256
Give you a hint.
122
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,424
I can ball out, boy,
123
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,927
but I'd rather be
in Fallout Boy.
124
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,262
He's emo Jimmy Butler. Duh!
125
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,682
There's not a
costume I don't get.
126
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,769
Oh, okay. Yeah, I-I get it.
127
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,439
It hurts when you lie, Jacob.
128
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:38,193
Some days, I wonder if anyone
will ever understand me.
129
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,779
Would anyone care for
a tasty cupcake? Ooh.
130
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,032
Yes! Since apparently I cannot
give them to my students anymore.
131
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,409
Yeah. Can't have that.
132
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,577
Might have razor blades in 'em.
133
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,204
Then why are you taking one?
134
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,831
Well, I know you didn't
put razor blades in them.
135
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,374
You ain't got that dog in you.
136
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,042
Then why would you
say they might?
137
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,712
Since when might cupcakes
have razor blades in them?
138
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,380
Since when can't
kids bob for apples
139
00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,756
because it's unsanitary?
140
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,633
Oh, that I get. It's
objectively gross.
141
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:05,137
Jacob, you are Pat Sajak.
142
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,472
"Wheel of Fortune"
is an institution.
143
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,307
You, above all,
should understand
144
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,852
the importance of tradition.
145
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,479
My students have
bobbed for apples
146
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,481
since I started here at Abbott,
147
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,651
and not one time has
anyone reported sick!
148
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,195
And now I don't have a
main event for the library.
149
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,989
Well, you gotta figure
out how to fill that time.
150
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,407
Mm. Wait, I got it.
151
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,616
You can carve pumpkins
152
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:27,743
and call 'em black-o'-lanterns.
153
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,161
Okay, I won't
comment on the name,
154
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,495
but that's a bad idea.
155
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,663
What about ghost stories?
156
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,123
Roz, you could do the voices.
157
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,917
Oh, I am not reading for
three hours straight.
158
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,544
Just like a cat.
159
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,712
Ava and Melissa: Lazy.
160
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,505
Now, you all, it's not as if
161
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,175
Roz could do that
many voices anyway.
162
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,844
Okay, fine. I will do it.
163
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,513
Wait.
164
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,223
I'm waiting for Janine so we
can make our big entrance.
165
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,808
It is a couples
costume, after all.
166
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,978
Ready.
167
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:59,357
Okay, okay. Don't tell
me. I'm 8 for 8 today.
168
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:02,486
I'll get it. You're...
169
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,906
You are, um, teachers
in crappy costumes.
170
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,240
I don't...
171
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,201
Oh, you know what?
172
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,244
We are standing on the
wrong side of each other.
173
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,662
We talked about
this. Hold, please.
174
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,040
A moment, sorry.
175
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,416
Mosquito in amber and Mr. DNA.
176
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,793
From "Jurassic Park."
177
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,377
Yeah, I got it
earlier in one guess.
178
00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:23,215
Yeah. Oh, babies,
this is... terrible.
179
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,592
What? No, it is not.
180
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,052
I mean, come on. Ava gets it.
181
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,679
Yeah, I get it. I
didn't say it was good.
182
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,389
I know what rye bread
is. It's still nasty.
183
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:33,558
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't
even make sense as a concept.
184
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,185
Oh, that's 'cause you
don't know the movie. Yeah.
185
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,187
Oh, I'm sorry, what
don't I know about
186
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,480
the oldest movie in history
187
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,484
to surpass $1 billion
in ticket sales?
188
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,443
Kids think they're the only ones
189
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:44,903
that know anything about movies.
190
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,404
You guys, I'm sorry,
191
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,989
but you don't know what
you're talking about.
192
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,200
I mean, whose couples
costume is touching ours?
193
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,619
Mine. You are a
single guinea pig.
194
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,204
Mm-hmm.
195
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,872
I say this not as a hater,
196
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,249
but as a connoisseur of culture.
197
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,084
When'd you start
coming in the lounge?
198
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,753
The two of you don't stand a
chance at that costume contest.
199
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,923
Well, I'll say it as a hater.
Hatily. Y'all gonna lose.
200
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:09,594
But you are going to do it
being so very... yourselves.
201
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,054
And that's beautiful.
202
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,848
Yeah. This costume's
very on brand. Mm-hmm.
203
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:13,932
And what does that mean?
204
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,559
She means you're
a headass couple
205
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,768
doing headass things.
206
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,019
Mm. I'm sorry, "headass"?
207
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,396
Look, in this scenario,
208
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,981
I think it refers to two lovers
209
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,441
who are in their own
slightly delusional,
210
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:24,609
somewhat cheesy bubble.
211
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,069
You know, unable to see
212
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,612
how the outside world
is perceiving them.
213
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,197
Stop explaining slang.
214
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,407
And I know what it means, Jacob.
215
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,616
And we're not it at all, so...
216
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,952
Oh, I disagree, Mr. Headass
217
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,829
and Headass Trapped in Amber.
218
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,748
Oh, I'm seeing a
heap of headassery.
219
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,084
Yeah, it's like you're in
your own little headass world,
220
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,086
thinking you're so
cute. Hey, we are cute!
221
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,713
Cutest little
headasses I ever saw.
222
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,881
We are not headass.
223
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,717
Yeah? Then what's this?
224
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,847
Let me see! Let me
see! Show me, show me.
225
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:54,975
Perfect.
226
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,145
Yes! Welcome, welcome, all.
227
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,396
Come on in.
228
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,397
So you guys decided to still go
229
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,481
with the bad costumes?
230
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,524
They're not bad.
231
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,193
Oh, I'm sorry, headass.
232
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,738
So, a headass costume
would be like PB&J... Yes
233
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,072
or salt and pepper... Mm-hmm.
234
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,741
Or ketchup and mustard. Yeah.
235
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,576
Our costumes are
thoughtful. Whip smart.
236
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,454
High brow. Headass.
237
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,209
And he heard a voice that said,
238
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:26,215
"Where is my golden arm?"
239
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,633
You've got it!
240
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,676
Was that supposed to be scary?
241
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,511
Do Skibidi Toilet next!
242
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,930
I got a ghost story so scary,
243
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,348
it'll make your toenails curl.
244
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,682
Okay!
245
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,646
Vietnam, 1971.
246
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,438
I was on vacation.
247
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,276
Stop, Mr. Johnson.
This isn't working.
248
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,155
My suffering continues.
249
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,031
Um, I'm all out of stories,
250
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,368
and we got an hour
and a half to kill.
251
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,626
Attention, everyone.
It's time to pivot.
252
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,086
I don't care what
those parents say.
253
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,629
They are not here
in the trenches.
254
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,965
So we are bobbing for apples.
255
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,884
Hey, what are y'all dressed as?
256
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:16,554
Oh, well, I am the mosquito
in amber from "Jurassic Park."
257
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,765
And I'm Mr. DNA. What is that?
258
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:21,309
A DNA strand is the blueprint
to all living creatures.
259
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,477
You know, from the movie.
260
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:25,647
Why aren't you dinosaurs?
261
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,400
Well, because the
mosquito and Mr. DNA
262
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,943
are the bedrock of the film.
263
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,238
You could have just
been dinosaurs.
264
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,656
It's a valid point.
265
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,157
I'm not gonna lie.
266
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,909
I'm starting to think
we're not gonna win later.
267
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,869
I mean, the teachers not
getting it is one thing,
268
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,413
but the kids don't seem
to get it either, so...
269
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,749
Hey. Do not let that kid
shake your confidence, okay?
270
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,960
Yeah. Okay. Have you
seen his drawings?
271
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,421
They're ass. They
are. They're ass.
272
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,755
They're really bad.
273
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,173
He doesn't know how
to shade... Mnh-mnh.
274
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,175
Or stay in the
lines or crosshatch.
275
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,428
What does he know about art
and culture? You're right.
276
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,762
Jerk. Nothing.
277
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:01,141
Now it is time to
bob for apples!
278
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,351
You go first.
279
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,896
There you go.
280
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:10,358
Mrs. Howard, our parents
said we can't do that.
281
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,694
I understand.
282
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,571
And that is why we
are not going to
283
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,115
tell any of our parents.
284
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,326
After all, it's Halloween,
285
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,370
a day for deceit.
286
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,749
So shhhhh!
287
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,334
Actually, that was
just an excuse.
288
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,752
I don't want to do it.
289
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,879
Okay, fine. Sit it out.
290
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,130
More apples for the rest of us.
291
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,715
I don't want to either.
292
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:34,883
Wait. Why not?
293
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,468
Because the water
goes up my nose,
294
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,303
and it's gross, and it's germy.
295
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,096
And we all just had ringworm!
296
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,098
Come on. This is gonna be fun!
297
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:45,143
It's a tradition. My
students have been doing this
298
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,395
since when I first
started teaching.
299
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,439
Yeah, but that was like
a thousand years ago.
300
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,609
Mr. Gregory's class did it last
year, and they had a blast.
301
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,152
Go ahead. Tell them
how much fun it was.
302
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,279
I didn't say anything last year,
303
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,865
but I think it's nasty.
304
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,450
Okay. You're dressed
as a toilet, kid.
305
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,701
Which should tell
you how gross it is.
306
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,119
Okay, fine.
307
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,249
I will show you just
how much fun it can be.
308
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,375
Oh, wow. Oh, she's going in.
309
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,127
Yeah! How do you
like them apples?
310
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,630
Don't come back up 'til
you get all of 'em, Barb!
311
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,966
Whoo!
312
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,511
See how much fun this is, kids?
313
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:23,014
I'm gonna get one the next time.
314
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,307
Oh, sure,
315
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,017
let's just splash
water everywhere
316
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,354
in the only carpeted
room in the school.
317
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:30,980
What is Melissa doing?
318
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,982
Hey, don't worry
about that, okay?
319
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,526
It's go time. Okay.
How do I look?
320
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,693
Like we're about to
win a costume contest.
321
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:36,694
Right? Mm-hmm.
322
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,196
It's time for the pairs.
323
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,909
All my dynamic
duos, come on out.
324
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,201
Corn and Scarecrow,
325
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,329
Mr. DNA and Mosquito
Trapped in Amber,
326
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,040
and M-Ms. Schemmenti!
327
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,376
Ms. Schemmenti,
where's your partner?
328
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,503
I'm so glad you
asked that, Andrew.
329
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:59,844
Presenting Sweet Cheeks
and... Ms. Schemmenti!
330
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,724
Oh, my God! I don't
know who's who!
331
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,476
What? It... It's gimmicky.
332
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,727
Yeah, I mean, it's derivative.
333
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,020
I've definitely seen it before.
334
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,897
Right? Where did
she get that wig?
335
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,275
And the winner is, by
unanimous decision,
336
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:19,320
without a doubt, Ms.
Schemmenti and Sweet Cheeks!
337
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,364
Excuse me?
338
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:27,370
Oh, my God. Oh my God.
Thank you so much.
339
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,955
It took me 14 hours to sew
340
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,416
this little pleather
jacket, and if we had lost,
341
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,545
I would have been in a really
dark place, so thank you.
342
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,672
Thanks so much, y'all.
343
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,924
Okay. But we would have
gotten second, right?
344
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,426
No, you wouldn't have.
345
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,719
The scarecrow and the
corn had it in the bag.
346
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,721
What can we say?
347
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,264
It lacks a certain
je ne sais quoi.
348
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,224
Oh, yeah, says the goat.
349
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:51,603
That's right. The
GOAT, Muhammad Ali.
350
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,856
Oh.
351
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,608
That's really good.
Yeah, that's very good.
352
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,943
That's very good. Andrew,
that's very creative.
353
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,779
Our next category is
unpopular teachers
354
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,948
that insisted on
participating anyway.
355
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,285
We've got...
356
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,287
Y'all see 'em.
357
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,122
Mr. Hill, who are
you supposed to be?
358
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,041
Oh, I'm, uh...
I'm... I'm Pat Sajak.
359
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,459
Who's that?
360
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,127
Yeah. You guys probably
don't know him.
361
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,505
It's... It's fine. I will
take my "L" expeditiously.
362
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,008
Of course they know
him! The man is an icon!
363
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,010
Okay, come on, show of hands.
364
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:27,805
Who knows Mr. Patrick Sajak?
365
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:29,724
Barb, they don't know him.
366
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,851
We just need to
jog their memory.
367
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,312
Why is she standing
up? No idea.
368
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,147
Come on, y'all!
369
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:39,859
Pulling up the TV tray
with a piping hot pot pie
370
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,861
to watch the Wheel!
371
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,155
It's an American tradition.
372
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,325
Like bobbing for apples.
Spin the wheel, Jacob.
373
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,952
Yep.
374
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,204
Harder!
375
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,580
Ha, ha!
376
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,291
Oh, kids. You don't know this?
377
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,709
It's probably because
he doesn't even host
378
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,794
"Wheel of Fortune" anymore.
379
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:58,836
What you talking about, boy?
380
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,380
Well, he's retired.
381
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,299
41 years. 8,000 'sodes.
He had a good run.
382
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,926
Well, what are they going
to do without him, huh?
383
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,262
Spin the wheel themselves?
Well, they always, uh...
384
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,513
Jacob, leave the
stage and come back
385
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,014
so that you can
receive the level
386
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,976
of applause and appreciation
that you deserve.
387
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,060
Okay. Mm-hmm!
388
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,645
Barb, let's just let this go,
389
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,063
and then later, we'll get
a drink with the kids.
390
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,731
I do not need a
drink, Melissa. Okay.
391
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:22,777
I need these children to
recognize a cultural icon.
392
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,364
Yes! Ha, ha, ha!
393
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,326
I said clap for Pat Sajak,
394
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,871
or Halloween is canceled! Oh.
395
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,378
Oh!
396
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,504
Maybe I do need a drink.
397
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:42,591
Yeah. Sorry.
398
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,724
Hey!
399
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,892
This costume is itchy. The
last costume wasn't itchy.
400
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,436
I have no access to my pockets.
401
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,063
So, we realized that
our original costumes
402
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,482
were going over people's heads.
403
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,692
Too high brow. Yeah.
404
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,235
So we stopped at
Spirit Halloween
405
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,403
and picked up something else.
406
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,238
With these costumes,
407
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,656
which are actually headass,
408
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,325
we have a chance of winning,
which we want to do.
409
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,744
Yeah, 'cause we want people
to look at us and go,
410
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,704
"They go good
together." Mm-hmm.
411
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,833
'Cause we do go get together,
like peanut butter and jelly.
412
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,419
GE&J.
413
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,964
Oh! Peanut Butter, Jelly!
414
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,507
Nom, nom, nom!
415
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,550
Thank you.
416
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,760
I'm not even a protein.
417
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,886
I'm basically just candy.
418
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,012
I told you we could switch.
419
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,263
No, it's fine, it's fine.
420
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,890
How do I get to my phone?
421
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,434
I don't know why not being
able to bob for apples
422
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,852
bothered me so much,
423
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,896
but it really did.
424
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:43,274
I don't know. I...
I just don't know.
425
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,942
Barb, you lost a tradition.
426
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:46,819
Yeah. That's right.
427
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,280
Okay. So, my family used
to barbecue on the lawn
428
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,324
of the old Coal and Iron
Police headquarters.
429
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:54,619
And then, one year,
a burning coal
430
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,246
mysteriously found its
way into the building,
431
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,915
and it burned down.
432
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,669
But the next year, we found
a new site to desecrate,
433
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,961
because that's what you do.
434
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:05,797
Yeah, but I've
been bobbing since
435
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,215
before I can remember.
436
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,095
I was so good at it. They
used to call me Bob-ra.
437
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,473
I'm not going to forget this.
438
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,350
The day I stopped
doing something
439
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,143
I don't even remember starting.
440
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,605
Well, tonight, we'll just
start a new tradition, okay?
441
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,982
'Cause we keep on pushing.
442
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:27,318
We adjust.
443
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:31,490
Yeah, 'cause things
never stop changing.
444
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,160
Pat Sajak reporting for duty.
445
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,204
Pat Sajak. Pat Sajak.
446
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,706
Did you know...
Yeah, I-I know.
447
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,749
I know. I know now, okay?
448
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,043
But not until after
I made the wheel.
449
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:45,712
And what am I supposed
to do with this thing?
450
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,756
Just, like, throw it out?
Look at the craftsmanship.
451
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,303
Hi! Uh, peanut
butter. And jelly.
452
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,264
Peanut butter, your
tag's still on.
453
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,433
Really? I don't... Where?
454
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,353
I don't see it. Oh, wait.
Spin around. Okay. Hold on.
455
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,022
Wait, wait. Don't pop it.
456
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,819
Gregory, look at that
couple's costume.
457
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,487
Ash Wednesday.
458
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,572
That's headass.
459
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,160
It is.
460
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,327
Uh, we'd like to change
our submission, please.
461
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,037
Um, hey, what are you doing?
462
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,456
Look, look, look, look, look.
463
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,166
We need to go back to
our original costumes.
464
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,042
But no one will get
it. We'll get it.
465
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,669
And that's all that matters.
466
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,881
Look, as long as we are in
our own bubble together,
467
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,552
no one could ever pop it.
468
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,889
So, can we change
our submission?
469
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,265
Imagine if I said no.
470
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,933
I'm going to be Mr. DNA.
471
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:43,269
And I am going to be a
mosquito trapped in amber.
472
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,771
Whatever.
473
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,813
Did you write it down?
Did you write it down?
474
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,523
Yeah. I'm writing it.
475
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,276
Okay.
476
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:53,070
All right, who wants to
bob for apple schnapps?
477
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,155
Yep. Two right here.
478
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,573
Right here, right here.
479
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,283
Okay. There you go.
Thanks, sweetheart.
480
00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:00,119
Okay. Come on, Bob-ra,
let's see what you got.
481
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,121
Ready?
482
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,625
Whoo!
483
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,544
Oh! Oh, boo!
484
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,047
Are we still doing
nurses costumes?
485
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,549
Come on. That's not
even a sexy one.
486
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,594
Melissa, I think that
person is an actual nurse.
487
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,763
I said what I said.
488
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,641
See, this could be
our new tradition.
489
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,642
Two more.
490
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,603
The next contestants are...
491
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,563
Uh, what?
492
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,815
Oh, my God, I don't even know.
493
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,983
I knew he wasn't
gonna write it down.
494
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,860
It's fine. I know. Just go. Just
go. Why didn't he write it down?
495
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,612
Let's go, let's go, let's
go. It's okay. Look at this.
496
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,738
I mean, you can tell that
we... No, no, no, no, no, no.
497
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:36,948
Hey. Hi every... Ow.
498
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,408
Oh. I'm so sorry.
499
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,910
You might recognize us from
500
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:45,207
Steven Spielberg's
masterpiece, "Jurassic Park."
501
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,920
I'm the incredibly clever
way of providing exposition,
502
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,921
Mr. DNA.
503
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,339
He looks just like it.
504
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:57,844
And I... I... am a
riveting plot device,
505
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,638
the mosquito trapped in amber.
506
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,808
Oh. Okay.
507
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,476
Well, I love it!
508
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,978
Hear, hear!
509
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,105
Innovative. Would
you cut it out?
510
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,690
Thank you, persons
we don't know.
511
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,025
Okay, let's hear
it for the effort.
512
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,069
No!
513
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,282
Okay. Who's next?
514
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,411
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
515
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,791
Next up, we have Grace
Jones with a sword!
516
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,502
I'm Blade, bitch.
517
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,758
Shing! Shing!
518
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,764
Who wants to bob for more shots?
519
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,266
Oh, yes. Right here.
520
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,351
I already paid
for 'em. Take one.
521
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,477
Get you one, Barbara.
522
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,604
You know, I'm gonna head out.
523
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,105
What? Are you okay?
524
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:54,025
Oh, this has been fun.
I'm just a little tired.
525
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,526
Do you need me to
walk you to your car?
526
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,903
This sword only looks fake.
527
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,238
Thank you. I'll be fine.
528
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,073
Okay. You all get
home safe, now.
529
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:02,867
We will.
530
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,661
Oh, my God, Sweet Cheeks!
531
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,079
Look for Sweet
Cheeks! Look for him!
532
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,415
Hey, everybody, look
for a guinea pig!
533
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:10,875
It looks like me, but little.
534
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,376
Can you see anything?
535
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,920
Nope. Wait a
minute. Never mind!
536
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,631
Didn't bring him! As you were.
537
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,593
I didn't bring him!
To Sweet Cheeks!
538
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,638
It certainly was a
different Halloween for me.
539
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,765
Tried a few new things.
540
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,850
That's the interesting
thing about traditions.
541
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,936
I mean, the first
time you do them,
542
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,021
it's just something
you're testing out.
543
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,564
There's something so beautiful
544
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,566
about unwittingly
discovering things
545
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:40,321
that will become so important
to you and those you hold dear.
546
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,822
On the bright side,
547
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,283
I heard that Pat Sajak
is going to be hosting
548
00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:46,410
"Celebrity Wheel of Fortune,"
549
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,999
and, well, maybe I can
replace Vanna White.
550
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:51,960
What do you think?
551
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,364
Yeah, but you're a
ghost every year.
552
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,218
Daywalker!
553
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,141
{\an8}Bloodsuckers!
554
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:11,268
{\an8}Shing!
555
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:13,187
{\an8}Whoosh!
556
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,524
{\an8}Aah!
557
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,275
{\an8}Yaaah!
558
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:21,489
{\an8}All right. See y'all
at school tomorrow.
559
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,325
{\an8}Aah!37170
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