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1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,337
Alright. And once again,
the school district requires
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00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,338
that uniforms be purchased
3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,089
at O'Hare's Warehouse.
4
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,674
If your children show up
in a makeshift uniform
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,134
from a department store,
6
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,677
we're gonna send them home.
7
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,638
What's the difference between
a blue shirt and khaki pants
8
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,556
from Filene's
Basement and O'Hare's?
9
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,808
One gets them sent home.
10
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,644
Was that not clear? I'm
sorry. Right. Right.
11
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,229
Also, guys, what did I say about
12
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,271
just shouting out the
question, alright?
13
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,106
Please have some
decorum. Damn.
14
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,609
But the PTA did successfully
get Abbott 30% off
15
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:27,652
for the rest of the month,
16
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,903
so head there fast, people.
17
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:29,946
That's big. Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,030
That's big, yeah. Right?
19
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,240
That's cool. We did that.
20
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,366
That's good, very
good. Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,408
You're welcome.
22
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,618
Alright, moving on.
23
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,328
We've received many emails
24
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,871
about the golf course
being built up the street
25
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,665
and what this
means for our kids.
26
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,084
Not just our kids...
what about our community?
27
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,086
You know they're
trying to price us out.
28
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,755
I don't want my daughter to have
to change schools next year. No!
29
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,839
Can we stop it from being built?
30
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,341
Yeah! Uh-huh.
31
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,344
People, the golf
course is happening.
32
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,638
There's nothing we can
do about that. Mnh-mnh.
33
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:57,765
Well, that's not true. You know,
I could pull a "Bagger Vance."
34
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,475
What? See, I could
cozy up to whoever
35
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,269
their Matt Damon is. Oh, God.
36
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,687
And it's like I'm
teaching him about golf,
37
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,563
but really, I'm
teaching him about life.
38
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,191
Mm. Just to add on to
that, that's a stupid idea.
39
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,276
But to add on to that,
40
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,152
that is a really good movie.
41
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,320
It's Will Smith's
best performance.
42
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,780
"Seven Pounds" is
sitting right there.
43
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,240
Are you kidding? I like "Elf."
44
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,533
That's Will Ferrell.
45
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,326
Yeah, Jada's husband. No.
46
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,911
Alright, so let's
get back on track.
47
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,913
I like "Wild Wild West." I
think that's his best movie.
48
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,498
We can move on now.
49
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,625
It is so good, it has
its own line dance. Yeah.
50
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:25,960
No, no, you're thinking of
"Men in Black." Unh-unh.
51
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,336
Okay. Alright.
52
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,297
Wait, "Wild Wild West"
has its own line dance?
53
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,966
"Does it have its
own line dance?"
54
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,551
Well, alright.
Go, Barbara. Hey!
55
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,095
See, here we go. Now y'all
done got her started.
56
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,139
I literally... I have a gavel.
I literally have a gavel.
57
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,974
Uh, yeah, so, I got this gavel
58
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,393
specifically for the
PTA meetings, you know?
59
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,146
I wanted to be like, "Hey!"...
bang, bang, bang, bang...
60
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,689
"Meeting adjourned," you know?
61
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,190
But I have yet to use it
62
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,984
because, uh, like
most group functions
63
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,694
that take place in
a Philly school gym,
64
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,572
every PTA meeting ends
the exact same way.
65
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,365
Hey!
66
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,326
♪ When I roll into... ♪
♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
67
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,703
♪ When I stroll into... ♪
♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
68
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,746
♪ When I bounce into... ♪
♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
69
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,456
Ah, ah!
70
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,666
♪ Sisqó, Sisqó ♪
♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
71
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,169
♪ We're goin' straight to the Wild,
Wild West ♪ ♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
72
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,797
♪ We're goin' straight to the Wild,
Wild West ♪ ♪ The Wild, Wild West ♪
73
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,592
♪ Now, now, now, now, once
upon a time in the West ♪
74
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,719
♪ A madman lost his
damn mind in the West ♪♪
75
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,568
The US Constitution
established the framework
76
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,237
for our government and
included the Bill of Rights.
77
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,615
But have you guys
ever heard of Draco?
78
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,742
The wizard or the rapper?
79
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,329
Well, maybe the best
way to describe him
80
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,539
is through a little
rap of my own.
81
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,000
Fine. Fine.
82
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,210
He created
83
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,754
the Draconian constitution,
84
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,215
and he wrote a harsh legal code
85
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,218
that doled out one-size-fits-all
punishments to establish order.
86
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,594
That sounds like my mom.
87
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,141
Okay. We will pick
this up next time.
88
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,227
Make sure you finish
reading that chapter.
89
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,687
Hey, Brandon, why
are you scratching?
90
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:09,855
He dirty.
91
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,232
No.
92
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,401
What do you have on your arm?
93
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,236
Oh.
94
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,031
I'm so excited for our
double feature tonight.
95
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,741
I was... Ooh! Movie night.
96
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,951
Care for a third wheel?
97
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,495
Oh, it's a Jegory thing?
98
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,664
Don't want to make
it a Jegoracob party?
99
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,207
No. Your call.
100
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,208
What are you gonna watch?
101
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,709
"Dune" followed by "Friday."
102
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,378
Two"
103
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,838
and "Friday After Next."
104
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:34,880
Now it's time to
see the prequels.
105
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,757
Mm. Oh, actually, uh,
106
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,175
speaking of big worms...
107
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,052
and trigger warning,
hashtag gross...
108
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,093
one of my students in the
first period has ringworm.
109
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,854
Welp. There he goes!
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00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,231
Chin up, Janine. He lasted
longer with you than I thought.
111
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,649
Whoever's in charge of
sanitizing this place
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00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,859
needs to be fired.
113
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,026
A kid has ringworm.
114
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,236
Ringworm?!
115
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,279
Jacob, come here. Yeah.
116
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,363
Nope. Get back.
117
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,823
How do you know it's ringworm?
118
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,450
Did you touch it?
119
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,618
Of course not. But it was
clearly an itchy red ring.
120
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,245
And the nurse isn't
here this week,
121
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,539
so I just sent him home and
sanitized every surface.
122
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,832
That's not enough.
123
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,834
Jacob, ringworm
124
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,336
is an elementary
school's... worst enemy.
125
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,921
Maybe you can keep those older
kids from touching each other,
126
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,965
but if... one of the
little kids get it...
127
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:18,966
All of them get it.
128
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,344
One... two... three...
129
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,345
Banana! Kindness!
130
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,388
Thank God.
131
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,765
Last time ringworm broke out,
132
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,933
we lost half the staff
and students, too,
133
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:28,976
for a week. Mm-hmm.
134
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,686
This is horrible.
135
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,313
Oh, yeah, well, this
is worse than horrible.
136
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,148
I got a date this
weekend, Jacob.
137
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,816
Did you ever stop
to think of that?
138
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:36,984
And the guy's got a hot tub.
139
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,402
In-ground!
140
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,071
What's the relevance of that?
141
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,364
I can't with this virgin.
142
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,991
I had ringworm once.
143
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:44,951
My second year of teaching.
144
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,410
Ugh, it was awful.
145
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,996
But thank God I've
got immunity now.
146
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,873
Barb, you can't get
immunity from ringworm.
147
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,082
Maybe you can't...
148
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,501
but I did.
149
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,212
Look, circling back to how
I did nothing wrong here,
150
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,671
I went beyond district policy.
151
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,507
I sent him home before
the end of the day.
152
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,634
Okay, well, I have a
plan that will guarantee
153
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,010
that the ringworm
doesn't spread.
154
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,095
I also have a plan. Okay.
155
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,639
First step...
contain the spread
156
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,600
by keeping certain special
students separated.
157
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,477
Isolate the
contaminated. Alright.
158
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,604
We're going to monitor
student behavior...
159
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,564
Perform ruthless surveillance.
160
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,650
And we'll want to do
individual-based learning.
161
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,944
Put them in solitary
confinement.
162
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,278
Um, that sounds intense.
163
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,863
Yes, it really does.
164
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,990
Okay, look, there's nothing
to worry about here, guys.
165
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,158
It's been handled. We're fine.
166
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,036
Well, it better
be handled, Jacob.
167
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,913
A hot tub.
168
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,998
In... ground!
169
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,131
Hey. What's up?
170
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,383
Are you gonna open the door?
171
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,784
Have you washed
your hands recently?
172
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,263
I'm gonna need a
verbal yes. Gregory!
173
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,393
Why are you so
freaked out by this?
174
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,644
I mean, you teach first grade.
175
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,354
It's not exactly
a germ-free zone.
176
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,398
This is a fungus, Janine.
177
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,191
It's a whole ecosystem.
178
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,652
Fungi are like sharks, okay?
179
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,112
They're beautiful, elegant,
180
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,655
but something to be respected,
181
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,448
nay, feared.
182
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,243
Honestly, you're weird
if you don't agree.
183
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,161
Okay.
184
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,331
Thank you.
185
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,083
Thanks.
186
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,084
Okay.
187
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,340
So, this isn't a totally
surprising side of Gregory,
188
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:27,136
but it is a bit of a new layer
that I haven't seen before.
189
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,929
He really hates ringworm
190
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,764
maybe even more than pizza.
191
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,558
But we all have our quirks.
192
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,477
I'd really be way more
concerned if he loved ringworm,
193
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,604
'cause I don't think
I can get past that.
194
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,647
And he shouldn't ask me to.
195
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,190
Ah.
196
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,192
There ya go. See,
one of my quirks
197
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,737
is getting carried away with
my own hypotheticals, so...
198
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,366
Brandon, what are you
doing back at school?
199
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,910
I sent you home.
Wait here, kids.
200
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,631
I tried to go home, but
my mom sent me back.
201
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,419
"Dear Mr. Hill, I
know that's wrong.
202
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,129
According to the
district's website,
203
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,547
my child doesn't
have to be sent home
204
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,007
until the end of the day.
205
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,759
I'm not the one, or the two,
206
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,303
so please send my
child home at three.
207
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,680
Try Jesus, don't
try me, Patricia."
208
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,182
Is this a riddle?
209
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,767
It means I'm here till
the end of the day.
210
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,435
But I kinda wanted
to come back anyway.
211
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,729
I let JoJo borrow my
Switch, and he still has it.
212
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,064
Okay, well,
that's... that's...
213
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,231
that's discouraging.
214
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,566
Troublesome, actually.
215
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,234
Okay, so you tellin' me
you let some other kid
216
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,236
touch your contaminated game?
217
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,113
Yeah, but to be fair, we
all pass it around class
218
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,865
while we're supposed to
be listening to Mr. C.
219
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,283
Okay, this is bad, Jacob.
220
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,202
Bad, bad, bad, bad,
bad. Come on, kids.
221
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,582
- Charlie's finished!
- Oh. Oh!
222
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,834
That actually looks a lot
like you, so good job,
223
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,920
but maybe some beige, right?
224
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,130
Add some color to it.
225
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,132
Certainly got a lot
of those unused.
226
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,592
Hey, Janine? Yeah?
227
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,344
The ringworm kid
is back in school.
228
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,970
It's time to put
your plan into place.
229
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,890
I have been waiting for
this moment my entire life.
230
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,100
All hands on deck.
231
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,685
Okay, I'll tell Ava.
232
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,020
I'm already on it.
233
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,314
Ava, I thought you said you
were gonna stop listening in
234
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,691
on our classrooms.
235
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,442
I'm a known liar.
236
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,902
Let's go to work.
237
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,075
Alright, Mr. Johnson, we
need you to stand here 24/7.
238
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,118
And block this floor
239
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,494
by any means necessary.
240
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,620
Oh, I got you.
241
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,039
Nothing's getting past me.
242
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,294
No one's getting past me.
243
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,673
Alright, well, as you can
see, our plan is now in place.
244
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,758
Now, we can trust the older
kids not to touch each other,
245
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,427
but the littles... no.
246
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,512
So, just to be safe,
247
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,806
the second floor is now
completely sealed off
248
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:36,849
from the first floor.
249
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,392
And if all goes well,
250
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,144
we'll never see those
upstairs people again.
251
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,855
All kids' hands must
be washed at all times.
252
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,648
No going upstairs or
downstairs allowed.
253
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,150
No group activities.
254
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,318
No recess. No gym. No library.
255
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,862
And no using the bathroom.
256
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,238
Unless they're supervised.
257
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,906
Well, see, that's
where we differ.
258
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:53,949
I say pee where you stand.
259
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,159
And I say please don't.
260
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,286
This is a complete overreaction.
261
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,538
The upper floors can't
go to the library?
262
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,873
Jacob, you're just
mad that you're stuck
263
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,207
on the second floor
with patient zero.
264
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,917
Okay. You know...
265
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,754
I love you like a son, Jacob,
but I will beat you down.
266
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,422
Jacob, if it gets down here,
267
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,090
everyone will be infected.
268
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,592
We have to protect
the entire school.
269
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,093
This is not fair,
270
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,344
and it is certainly
no way to educate.
271
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,138
You're being real
cavalier right now.
272
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,557
Maybe you're infected and
that's the ringworm talking?
273
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,726
Yeah, when's the last
time you washed your legs?
274
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,519
I do not have ringworm.
275
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,606
Okay, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
276
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,903
No one's home.
277
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:33,864
Gregory left!
278
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,574
Okay.
279
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,160
Enough of that.
280
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,912
Hey. Hey.
281
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,580
Hi. Hi.
282
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,998
So, you know, we sealed
off the second floor.
283
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,875
You don't have to do this.
284
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,126
Do what?
285
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,461
Well...
286
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,712
Where did you get
that turtleneck?
287
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,506
Oh, it was in my drawer.
288
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,883
Why do you keep a
turtleneck in your drawer?
289
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,384
I don't know, just
for times like this.
290
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,969
So, what... you're just
gonna stay in here?
291
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,763
Pretty much, yeah.
292
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,515
Alright, so...
293
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,183
Are we not going to do our
double feature tonight or...?
294
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:04,394
I would say, for now,
295
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,147
in light of recent
news, it's TBD.
296
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,941
TBD? It means "to
be determined."
297
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,342
I know what it
means, Gregory. Okay.
298
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,364
Okay, then.
299
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,574
See ya.
300
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,606
These doors don't
have double locks.
301
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,793
I installed the locks myself.
302
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,754
Look, I'm not crazy,
I'm pragmatic.
303
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,341
Why am I so far away?
304
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,009
Why are you so close?
305
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,179
Hey!
306
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,765
Where are you coming
from? The lounge.
307
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,518
Had to replenish my coffee
for the mid-afternoon slump.
308
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:47,145
Yeah, Mr. Johnson was supposed
to be blocking access.
309
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,564
You'd be surprised
what he's willing to do
310
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,525
for a wildberry fruit strip.
311
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,944
Ugh! Mmm!
312
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,571
Okay, so not only
are you putting
313
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,030
all the rest of us at risk,
314
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,615
but you're also blowing
your personal goal
315
00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,741
of switching over to tea.
316
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,995
It's just not realistic.
317
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,705
Look, I made it
through the outbreaks
318
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,957
of '02, '07, and '11
319
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,042
with hardly an itch.
320
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,461
I'm telling you, I'm immune.
321
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,088
God protects me.
322
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,299
So God protects you,
but not the kids.
323
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,301
Something I brought up
with Him many times.
324
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,719
What if I don't believe in God?
325
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,096
I didn't mean that... I
do, especially when I fly.
326
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,265
I'm just saying, why don't
we leave God out of this?
327
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,433
Just 'cause I'm trying
to make a point,
328
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,684
but we'll check in later.
329
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,812
Listen, I'm glad you're
safe with your God,
330
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,314
but some of us are
trying to get into
331
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,940
some heavy sinning
this weekend... Oh.
332
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,692
So, please, no more ups
333
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,738
and absolutely no
more downs, right?
334
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:41,700
In nomine Patris et Filii
et Spiritus Sancti. Mm.
335
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,577
The thing about teaching
here as long as I have
336
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,787
is I've had everything...
337
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,040
ringworm, chickenpox, mad cow,
338
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,000
sad cow, red cow, blue cow.
339
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,210
Mm!
340
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,841
♪ Freedom ♪
341
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,552
Yeah, it upsets me that people
aren't taking this seriously,
342
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,472
because I think what
people fail to get
343
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,849
is that this hot tub
is in the ground, okay?
344
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,893
It's not a Costco operation.
345
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,353
The guy called a contractor,
346
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,146
he came to the
house, he dug a hole.
347
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,689
A contractor!
348
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,858
And so a constitution
is fundamentally
349
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,902
how we coexist together, okay?
350
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,738
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Where are you running off to?
351
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,741
Let's all... Let's...
Let's stay here, you know?
352
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,409
Chop it up a bit.
353
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,535
Have a hang. Chill.
354
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,870
But it's time for recess.
355
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,580
Yeah, that's what's,
so, um, fire...
356
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,957
Fire?
357
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,708
Is we get to skip recess today.
358
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,251
Get to? It might just be safer
359
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,003
for everyone if we all stay here
360
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,964
until matters calm
down, rash-wise.
361
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,165
So you're trapping us in here?
362
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,343
"Trapping" is a strong word.
363
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,678
But accurate. Yes,
you're trapped.
364
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,389
Guys, this is...
365
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,765
this is apparently
for the greater good.
366
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,517
This is good.
367
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:48,767
This is ass.
368
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,768
- Yeah.
- Really.
369
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,936
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,521
They're right.
371
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,939
And you know why they're right?
372
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,108
Because I taught them
to question the system
373
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,859
and to speak truth to power.
374
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,569
And the truth is...
375
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,946
yeah, this is ass.
376
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,950
God, why am I such
a good teacher?
377
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,952
Hello? The Atlantic?
378
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:10,205
This message is for whomsoever
is in charge of great stories.
379
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,457
I've got a hot one...
local hero principal
380
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,793
saves downtrodden
school from outbreak.
381
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,169
Possible headline...
382
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,089
"Ava Coleman Runs
Rings Around Worm."
383
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,632
Unh-unh.
384
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,883
Ms. Lawry said if
it happened again,
385
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,969
I'd have to come here.
386
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,345
It happened again.
387
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,056
I don't care. Get
out. Get out. Get out.
388
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,558
Attention, teachers...
389
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,436
no child is to be sent to
the principal's office today.
390
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,022
Kids, if you want to do
crime, now's the time.
391
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,356
Happy Purge day, y'all!
392
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,944
Mr. Johnson, bring every
disinfectant under the sun
393
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,030
to my office immediately.
394
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,614
Mr. Johnson?
395
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,159
Are you sleeping
standing up again?
396
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,535
Hey!
397
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,953
No, George Washington Carver.
398
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,663
I invented peanut butter.
399
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,545
I'm done with the chapter.
Can I go use the bathroom?
400
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,589
Sorry, you're not allowed
to leave unsupervised.
401
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,090
And I can't leave
the class right now.
402
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,675
Look, I don't like it either,
403
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,218
but you don't understand the
kind of pressure I'm under.
404
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,428
You don't understand
the kind of pressure
405
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,013
my bladder's under.
406
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,390
But I promise, I'll go to the
bathroom and be right back.
407
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,434
What am I gonna do, sneak
off and learn something new?
408
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,352
Certainly not if you
stumble into Morton's class.
409
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,233
I'm not trash-talking
Morton with you right now.
410
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,315
Why not?
411
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,941
Because you're being
worse than Morton.
412
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,152
You're being draconian.
413
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,655
Okay, go to the
bathroom. Thank you.
414
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,868
Living organisms,
tiny, little creatures
415
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,661
crawling all over your body,
416
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,497
thriving in moist areas, so...
417
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:38,627
What just happened?
418
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,880
That hoodie.
419
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,424
Gio, were you wearing
that hoodie this morning?
420
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,843
No.
421
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,054
Where'd it come from? My
brother gave it to me.
422
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,097
I was cold.
423
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,098
When?
424
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,307
Just now.
425
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,391
Gio, remember when we said
426
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,518
no one could leave
the classroom?
427
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,311
Yeah, that's why I texted him
428
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,480
to bring it to me.
429
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,187
Bring it to you from where?
430
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,070
What floor is your brother on?
431
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,328
Mr. Eddie, my arm itches.
432
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,066
The fungi are here.
433
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,082
They're here!
434
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,754
Attention! Protocol
has been broken, y'all.
435
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,047
I repeat, protocol has
been broken, y'all.
436
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,382
The perimeter has been breached.
437
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,633
The infection has jumped floors,
438
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,884
and it's now spreading.
439
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,553
We are in full lockdown.
440
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,179
I am currently reviewing
the tapes to see
441
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,473
which teacher or
janitor is to blame.
442
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,102
You just went to
the bathroom, right?
443
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,603
Nowhere else? Yeah.
444
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,730
Oh, thank goodness.
445
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,149
But on the way,
446
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,775
I stopped by the
first floor real quick
447
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,527
just to drop off my
hoodie to my brother.
448
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,945
He was cold. What?!
449
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,697
And then I returned a
book to the library,
450
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,282
dapped up Mrs. Howard,
451
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,366
and grabbed a drink from
the teachers' lounge.
452
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,784
But I swear that's it.
453
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,953
You were just supposed
to go to the bathroom.
454
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,454
You know what's so funny?
455
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,575
I actually forgot to
go to the bathroom.
456
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,085
Can I go to the bathroom now?
457
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,008
How on earth could this happen?
458
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,217
My plan was airtight!
459
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,677
Apparently not.
460
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,179
Barbara's been breaking
protocol! Barb.
461
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,805
I thought your
people don't snitch.
462
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,640
Then why are all my
uncles in jail, huh?
463
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,892
Look, it wasn't Barbara, okay?
464
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,310
Somehow, one of my kids ended up
465
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,561
with a tainted
hoodie from upstairs.
466
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,146
- Somehow? You...
- I'm sorry!
467
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,480
Okay, it is... it's...
guys, it's possible
468
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,399
that I definitely
let one of my kids
469
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,734
go to the bathroom and...
470
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,152
Oh, come on! Do
you just hate me?
471
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,486
I worked so hard on this.
472
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,031
I shaved above the knee,
Jacob. Above the knee!
473
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,533
That was so
irresponsible. Oh, yeah?
474
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,785
Well, apparently, he had time
to also dap you up, so...
475
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,454
And I him, but I am immune.
476
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:40,290
Cancel classes and
shut Abbott down! Oh!
477
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,542
This is going to wreak the
worst havoc on this school.
478
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,544
I guess it's every man,
woman, and flawless principal
479
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,879
for themselves.
480
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,255
Send all the kids back
to their homerooms.
481
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,632
I'll be in my bunker.
482
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,675
I ate all your bunker
snacks, by the way.
483
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,885
You don't know
where my bunker is.
484
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,126
Well, I ate something
from somewhere, buddy.
485
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,106
Hey, guys, this isn't cool.
486
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,691
Don't make Brandon
sit in the corner.
487
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,901
No, I moved over here.
488
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,361
I don't want to give
everybody ringworm.
489
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,655
Look, you don't have to punish
yourself for this, okay?
490
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,989
It's not a punishment.
491
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,366
I would have stayed
home if I could have,
492
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,951
but I can't, so, for now,
493
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,328
I'm just gonna sit here
and play my Switch.
494
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,539
Wish you wouldn't do
that while I'm teaching.
495
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,958
I wish you wouldn't
teach while I'm playing.
496
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,585
But here we are.
497
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,426
I'm just trying to look
out for everybody else.
498
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,547
That is what we should be doing.
499
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,050
Sacrificing for
the greater good.
500
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,802
God I am such a good teacher
501
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,305
that he taught me
something, you know?
502
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,142
Everyone, come out!
503
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:43,436
Everyone?
504
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,731
Oh, sorry. Why do
we keep interacting?
505
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,942
This could have been an
email. A nice, sterile email.
506
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,610
You better be down here
with some good news.
507
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,029
Nope, nope. The day just
keeps getting worse. Or not.
508
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,322
I've already submitted
this to The Atlantic,
509
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,532
so if it gets worse,
510
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,200
it's actually better
for me story-wise.
511
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,703
Look, I know... I know
I fumbled earlier,
512
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,871
and I realized now that I
was wrong and you were right.
513
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,124
So, I think we need to take
all of the exposed kids
514
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,209
and put them in a combined
isolation class in the gym
515
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,419
until the end of the day.
516
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,422
Hm, yeah. I mean,
that's a good idea,
517
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,923
but who's gonna go in there
and watch 'em, 'cause...
518
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,800
I will.
519
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:13,926
Unless...
520
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,095
Anyone else?
521
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,515
Well, worth the ask.
522
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,017
I wanted to do it anyway.
523
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,393
Godspeed, brother.
524
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:24,728
And, Gregory, I'll
take your gear.
525
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,022
The hell you will.
526
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,566
Well, then it's settled.
527
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,775
I'll be a hero.
528
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,111
Okay. Bye.
529
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,362
You got this.
530
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,573
Okay.
531
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,783
Damn, he is so brave.
532
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,577
Better him than me.
533
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,338
Might as well be you.
You guys live together.
534
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,373
Son of a bitch!
535
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,417
Lord, this day.
536
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961
Mm! I can feel the
strength of God
537
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,547
just tingling through my body.
538
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,799
Tingling? Yes.
Like little angels
539
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,177
dancing on my skin.
540
00:18:57,011 --> 00:19:00,890
Why, look, God has blessed
me with a little red halo.
541
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,350
Barb, you have ringworm.
542
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,894
Yes, I do. Oh, God.
543
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,437
Barb, I mean, we... we could...
we could just tell Jacob,
544
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,772
you can go watch the kids.
545
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,483
Unfortunately, that is
not God's plan for me.
546
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,817
Have a nice day.
547
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,235
Wh...
548
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,445
I think God wants
me to leave, too.
549
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,696
No! Ava?
550
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,036
Oh, no.
551
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,871
I ran this ship into an iceberg,
552
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,916
and so down with it I shall go.
553
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,141
Hopefully... Hopefully,
no one touches me.
554
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,506
Really appreciate you, Mr. C.
555
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,675
You're a real one.
556
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,802
Thank you.
557
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,305
Bye, Mr. Eddie!
558
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,933
Whoa, oh! Alright, sweetie.
559
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,454
Have a good night,
and wash your hands!
560
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,270
Alright.
561
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,856
So, movie night in
four to ten days, huh?
562
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,983
It's not so bad, right?
563
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:54,985
We can still FaceTime.
564
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,071
Yeah. Okay.
565
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,867
Bye, girls.
566
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,842
Alright.
567
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,052
So...
568
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,166
What movie are we
watching first?
569
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,432
Um, okay, what about "Dune"?
570
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,809
Uh, or "Friday"? One
of 'em, I don't know.
571
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,936
I'll... I'll watch all of
them with you. I don't care.
572
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,177
Okay. Well, we
have the weekend.
573
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:37,152
I got ringworm. It was as horrible
as I thought. But we got it together.
574
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,320
And look, we even have
matching rings, so...
575
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,532
No, no, it's not as
cute as you think.
576
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,325
The trick is, if you
always have ringworm,
577
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,785
you never catch it.
578
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,662
Take that how you wanna.
579
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,330
Yeah, caught it,
580
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,916
but turns out Jacuzzi guy
got evicted that morning
581
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,044
for having an in-ground hot tub
in violation of his HOA rules.
582
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,588
I said we should go to dinner,
583
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,507
and he said that would be
a violation of his parole.
584
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,551
So I just stayed
home and itched.
585
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:04,387
I realize now that God
was just testing me,
586
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,515
and now he is testing
the whole church choir.
587
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,600
Ha!
588
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,935
But you should see Jacob. Oh.
589
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,520
Apparently, you can't really
590
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,272
get it this bad, but...
591
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,524
I guess I'm a medical marvel.
592
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,692
I didn't get ringworm,
593
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,194
but I did get a tapeworm.
594
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,112
Seafood restaurant next
to the gas station.
595
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,406
Got it. Passed it. Worth it.39926
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