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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,601
ANGIE, COULD YOU SEND
FLOWERS TO ALLISON
2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:08,133
WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS,
"LAST NIGHT WAS SPECIAL.
3
00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:11,100
THINKING OF YOU --
CHARLIE"?
4
00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:12,767
THAT IS SO SWEET.
5
00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:14,868
YEAH, IT IS.
6
00:00:14,901 --> 00:00:18,367
COULD YOU ALSO SEND FLOWERS
TO JENNIFER...
7
00:00:19,767 --> 00:00:24,467
...WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS,
"LAST NIGHT WAS SPECIAL.
8
00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:26,400
"THINKING OF YOU --
9
00:00:26,434 --> 00:00:28,634
CHARLIE"?
10
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:31,667
MAYBE I SHOULD GET A BUNCH
OF THOSE CARDS PRINTED UP.
11
00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:35,667
NO, THAT WOULD BE
SO IMPERSONAL.
12
00:00:35,701 --> 00:00:37,434
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
13
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:40,133
YOU WENT SHOE SHOPPING
AGAIN?
14
00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:41,434
I NEEDED SANDALS...
15
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:46,300
AND BOOTS AND CLOGS
AND PLATFORMS AND PUMPS.
16
00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:48,501
MIKE'S BEEN IN ZIMBABWE
FOR WEEKS.
17
00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:51,267
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY SUBSTITUTING
CLOGS FOR SEX.
18
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,767
JUST BECAUSE I GO SHOPPING
19
00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,934
DOESN'T MEAN
I'M PREOCCUPIED WITH --
20
00:00:54,968 --> 00:00:58,434
IS IT ME, OR HAVE HIS PANTS
GOTTEN TIGHTER?
21
00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,534
[ CRUNCHING ]
22
00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:02,167
NOW YOU'RE CHEWING ICE.
23
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,767
WHY DON'T YOU JUST WEAR
24
00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:06,100
A SIGN THAT SAYS,
"I NEED SOME"?
25
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,501
BETTER YET --
PUT ON THOSE PUMPS.
26
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:14,200
YOU KNOW, THAT WHOLE
CHEWING-ICE THING
27
00:01:14,234 --> 00:01:16,367
IS JUST A JUVENILE MYTH.
28
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,434
[ CRUNCHING ]
29
00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:27,834
IS IT ME, OR HAVE HIS PANTS
GOTTEN TIGHTER?
30
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,200
SOMEONE
SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME
31
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:59,567
IT WAS PAUL'S TURN
TO BUY THE BAGELS.
32
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,234
WHAT IS THIS?
33
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:05,434
THAT IS AUTHENTIC
IMITATION LOX.
34
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:10,200
YOU BOUGHT FOOL'S LOX?
35
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:15,734
"DISCONTINUE USE
IF IRRITATION PERSISTS."
36
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,901
LET'S START
BEFORE MY EYES SWELL SHUT.
37
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,868
SOME GOOD NEWS --
SINCE THE MAYOR TOOK OFFICE,
38
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:23,234
200,000 NEW JOBS
HAVE BEEN CREATED.
39
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:26,400
HE'S DECLARING VICTORY
IN THE WAR ON UNEMPLOYMENT.
40
00:02:26,434 --> 00:02:27,801
WITH THAT IN MIND,
41
00:02:27,834 --> 00:02:30,000
HE WANTS US
TO START THINKING OF...
42
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:32,434
NEW WARS.
43
00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:34,901
HOW ABOUT A WAR
ON PENNSYLVANIA?
44
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:38,968
I'M SORRY.
I HATE THOSE SMUG BASTARDS.
45
00:02:40,601 --> 00:02:42,501
WAIT. I'VE SEEN
THE EMPLOYMENT FIGURES.
46
00:02:42,534 --> 00:02:44,868
MOST OF THE NEW JOBS
ARE MINIMUM WAGE.
47
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:47,501
THEY'RE STILL NEW JOBS.
DON'T MAKE WAVES.
48
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,901
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY!
OH, DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?
49
00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,801
I JUST TOLD THEM
ABOUT THE NEW JOBS.
50
00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,200
NO, NOT THAT --
51
00:02:53,234 --> 00:02:55,601
TODAY IS MICKEY ROONEY'S
BIRTHDAY!
52
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,067
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
53
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,067
WE HAVE NOT WON THE WAR
ON UNEMPLOYMENT.
54
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,067
ALL WE'VE DONE IS CREATE
A TEMPORARY FIX,
55
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,501
NOT A LONG-TERM SOLUTION.
56
00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:04,067
OKAY.
57
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,934
AH, LOX!
58
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,534
IT'S NOT A VICTORY --
59
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:08,801
CARTER, PLEASE...
60
00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:11,400
NOT ON MICKEY ROONEY'S
BIRTHDAY.
61
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:14,467
MY JOB HERE IS TO LOOK OUT
FOR THE DISENFRANCHISED --
62
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,133
THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO VOICE.
63
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,901
MR. MAYOR, PLEASE DON'T
IGNORE ME ON THIS ISSUE.
64
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:29,534
MY GOD, THERE'S
A CHICKEN BONE IN MY LOX!
65
00:03:35,334 --> 00:03:37,701
CAN I TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING PERSONAL?
66
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,200
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
67
00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:41,534
WITH WEARING A SHIRT
TWO DAYS IN A ROW!
68
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:44,133
PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES
DO IT ALL THE TIME.
69
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:47,067
SINCE MIKE LEFT NEW YORK,
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE LONELY.
70
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:50,000
I FIGURED YOU'D UNDERSTAND
SINCE CLAUDIA LEFT HOME,
71
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:52,300
AND YOU PROBABLY
HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN...
72
00:03:52,334 --> 00:03:53,601
TWO YEARS.
73
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:57,567
BUT SHE JUST LEFT
TO BECOME A NUN A MONTH AGO.
74
00:03:57,601 --> 00:03:59,434
SHE WENT INTO THE CONVENT
A MONTH AGO.
75
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:03,834
SHE BEGAN PRACTICING AT HOME
OCTOBER 4, 1998.
76
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:07,100
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?!
I HAVE BEEN SHOPPING LIKE CRAZY!
77
00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:10,300
CAITLIN, THE ONLY WAY
TO COME TO TERMS WITH CELIBACY
78
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,934
IS TO EMBRACE IT.
79
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,467
BUDDHA TEACHES
80
00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:17,801
THAT LIFE IS SUFFERING
CAUSED BY CRAVING OR DESIRE.
81
00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:21,133
WELL, ONCE YOU ELIMINATE
THOSE EVILS,
82
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:24,133
THE SUFFERING STOPS.
83
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,868
[ BOTH CRUNCHING ]
84
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,133
ACCORDING TO THAT,
85
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,400
IF YOU ELIMINATE SUFFERING,
YOU ELIMINATE LIFE.
86
00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:32,834
UNH-UNH --
DON'T PULL THAT THREAD.
87
00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:34,501
YOU SEE...
88
00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:37,033
I'VE DEVELOPED
A 3-STEP SYSTEM.
89
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,501
FIRST,
WHEN YOU FEEL THE URGE,
90
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:41,567
FOCUS THAT ENERGY INWARD --
91
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,734
"TUNNELING," I CALL IT.
92
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:49,734
SEE, ON A HORSE,
IT'S CALLED "BLINDERS."
93
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,300
SECOND,
KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY.
94
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,734
I LIKE JUGGLING.
95
00:04:53,767 --> 00:04:56,334
OKAY, THE THIRD
AND MOST POWERFUL TOOL
96
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:58,334
TO SUPPRESS SEXUAL DESIRE --
97
00:04:58,367 --> 00:04:59,934
BANJO MUSIC.
98
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:02,868
JUST TO KNOW
WHERE WE'RE COMING FROM,
99
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:05,133
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
SINCE YOU, UH...
100
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,367
[ SIGHS ]
THREE WEEKS AGO.
101
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,534
OH, PLEASE.
MIKE WAS TAKING ME
TO THE AIRPORT.
102
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:10,734
YEAH?
103
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,801
IT WAS RAINING ON MY BLOUSE,
IT GOT WET,
104
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,901
AND YOU COULD SEE
RIGHT THROUGH IT.
105
00:05:14,934 --> 00:05:19,000
OKAY, OKAY --
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
106
00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:21,934
BRINGING ANGIE COFFEE,
HUH?
107
00:05:21,968 --> 00:05:25,267
GET OUT OF HERE.
108
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,234
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY
HER TYPE.
109
00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:30,033
YOU MEAN SHE'S A LESBIAN?
110
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,934
'CAUSE I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
111
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:35,267
NO, IT'S JUST THAT
ANGIE'S COOL, HIP --
112
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,667
A LITTLE WILD.
113
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,834
LOOK, SHE EVEN RIDES
A MOTORCYCLE.
114
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:42,133
YOU FREAKED OUT THE LAST TIME
I OPENED THE SUNROOF.
115
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,334
HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S UP?
116
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:47,767
OH, UH, JUST CHECKING OUT
THIS PICTURE.
117
00:05:47,801 --> 00:05:49,868
SWEET...RIG.
118
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,801
YOU RIDE?!
119
00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:54,534
LIKE A DEMON
SHOT FROM HELL.
120
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:56,000
[ SIGHS ]
121
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,968
SO WHAT KIND OF BIKE
DO YOU HAVE?
122
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,968
SCHWINN-STER.
123
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,434
[ LAUGHS ] YOU'RE FUNNY.
124
00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:06,801
[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH, I WAS JOKING.
125
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,200
WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN DO ME
A REALLY BIG FAVOR.
126
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:11,234
I HAVE THIS BACHELORETTE
PARTY TONIGHT --
127
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,467
I'LL DO IT,
128
00:06:12,501 --> 00:06:14,100
BUT I WON'T GO
BEYOND A G-STRING.
129
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:18,634
I WAS GONNA ASK IF YOU COULD
TAKE MY BIKE HOME WITH YOU.
130
00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:19,868
I DON'T KNOW.
131
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:23,367
I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
OKAY.
132
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,400
BY THE WAY,
DO YOU LIKE FRAPPACINO?
133
00:06:25,434 --> 00:06:26,601
NAH.
134
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:29,033
I HATE THOSE
FROUFROU COFFEE DRINKS.
135
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:33,067
I'LL TELL CARTER
YOU DON'T WANT IT.
136
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:36,100
AND SO WITH THE CREATION
OF 200,000 JOBS,
137
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,567
I'M HAPPY TO REPORT
138
00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:40,133
THE JOBLESS RATE
IN NEW YORK CITY
139
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,667
IS AT A 20-YEAR LOW.
140
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:44,033
WE HAVE WON THE WAR
ON UNEMPLOYMENT!
141
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:46,667
[ Coughing ] MISLEADING.
142
00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:49,067
[ Coughing ] NOT NOW.
143
00:06:50,767 --> 00:06:54,067
[ Coughing ] THE PEOPLE
SHOULD KNOW THE TRUTH.
144
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,300
[ COUGHING ]
145
00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:57,234
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
146
00:06:57,267 --> 00:07:00,434
DOES MR. HEYWOOD HAVE SOMETHING
HE WOULD LIKE TO ADD?
147
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,267
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD
THAT THE ADMINISTRATION REALIZES
148
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,734
THAT WHAT PEOPLE NEED
IS EDUCATION AND TRAINING
149
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:09,400
SO THAT THESE MINIMUM-WAGE JOBS
BECOME A STEPPING STONE
150
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:11,300
AND NOT THE END OF THE LINE.
151
00:07:11,334 --> 00:07:15,000
TO PARAPHRASE...
152
00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:18,734
THE WAR IS OVER.
153
00:07:18,767 --> 00:07:22,100
MR. MAYOR, HAVE YOU EVER WORKED
AT A MINIMUM-WAGE JOB?
154
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:23,734
OF COURSE.
155
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:26,767
MY FIRST JOB
OUT OF LAW SCHOOL,
156
00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:29,200
I MADE THE MINIMUM WAGE
FOR AN ASSOCIATE --
157
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,033
72 GRAND A YEAR.
158
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,601
AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
ANYONE HERE,
159
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:39,567
BUT BACK IN 1969,
IT WAS NOT A LOT OF MONEY.
160
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:42,601
ACTUALLY, SIR,
IN TODAY'S DOLLARS,
161
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:45,434
THAT'S ABOUT $350,000
PER YEAR.
162
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:46,801
THAT'S RIGHT.
163
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,167
BUT BACK THEN,
164
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,501
WE DIDN'T HAVE
TODAY'S DOLLARS.
165
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:53,400
[ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING ]
166
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:55,701
YOU WERE WAY OUT OF LINE,
CARTER.
167
00:07:55,734 --> 00:07:58,934
THE ENTIRE PRESS CORPS
THINKS THE MAYOR IS A SNOB.
168
00:07:58,968 --> 00:08:01,467
IT'S VERY DISTASTEFUL
BEING RIDICULED
169
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:03,901
BY PEOPLE
SO OBVIOUSLY BENEATH ME.
170
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,067
OH, YOU JUST WANT ME
TO CENSOR MYSELF,
171
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,534
NOT SPEAK UP?
172
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:09,968
COULD YOU?
THAT WOULD BE REALLY NICE.
173
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,167
I THINK WE NEED TO DO
A LITTLE DAMAGE CONTROL.
174
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,434
I ONCE WORKED FOR A SENATOR
WHO RAN OVER A DOG.
175
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:17,067
NEXT DAY -- PICTURES OF HIM
AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER --
176
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,267
PROBLEM SOLVED.
177
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:21,801
CHARLIE, I'M NOT ABOUT
TO RUN OVER A DOG.
178
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,968
NO, SIR,
WE'RE GONNA DO A PHOTO OP --
179
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,801
YOU WORKING IN
A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT.
180
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:30,801
I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW --
"MAYOR SERVES UP NEW JOBS."
181
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:33,033
WHY DON'T WE BRING PEACE
TO NORTHERN IRELAND?
182
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,267
ALL WE NEED IS A PHOTO
183
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,400
OF THE MAYOR GETTING TANKED
IN A PUB.
184
00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:39,767
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A LOT MORE FUN THAN...
185
00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:43,467
KILLING AN INNOCENT DOG.
186
00:08:43,501 --> 00:08:45,200
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
187
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:50,300
Percy Sledge:
* WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
188
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:54,667
* CAN'T KEEP HIS MIND
ON NOTHIN' ELSE *
189
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:59,467
* HE'LL TRADE THE WORLD
FOR THE GOOD THING HE'S FOUND *
190
00:08:59,501 --> 00:09:05,467
* IF SHE IS BAD,
HE CAN'T SEE IT *
191
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:09,467
* SHE CAN DO NO WRONG
192
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:15,300
[ MAMBO MUSIC PLA ] S
193
00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:21,200
* OH, SUZANNA
194
00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:23,634
* OH, DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME
195
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,767
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
196
00:09:25,801 --> 00:09:27,133
HELLO.
197
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,367
Paul...
198
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,634
IT'S CAITLIN.
199
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:31,834
I'M SLIPPING.
"MAMBO KINGS" IS ON TV.
200
00:09:31,868 --> 00:09:33,834
ARMAND ASSANTE --
201
00:09:33,868 --> 00:09:36,334
THIS IS A CHALLENGE.
202
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,534
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HIM
THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY!
203
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,133
I ALREADY FLIPPED TO QVC
204
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,601
AND BOUGHT
AN 8-PERSON CAMPING TENT.
205
00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:45,901
ALL RIGHT --
OKAY, LISTEN, LISTEN.
206
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:48,567
BEFORE YOU BUY ANYTHING
YOU DON'T NEED,
207
00:09:48,601 --> 00:09:50,167
I'M GONNA TALK YOU DOWN.
208
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,767
YOU AND I ARE SPENDING
THE NIGHT TOGETHER,
209
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:56,167
AFTER WHICH YOU WILL NEVER
BE INTERESTED IN SEX AGAIN.
210
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,434
NOW...
SING ALONG WITH ME.
211
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,067
* OH, SUZANNA
212
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,601
* OH, DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME
213
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:05,601
* FOR I'VE COME
FROM ALABAMA *
214
00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:07,133
BRING IT HOME, SWEETHEART.
215
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:08,834
* WITH A BANJO ON MY KNEE
216
00:10:11,734 --> 00:10:13,868
TODAY,
I'M REVISITING MY ROOTS --
217
00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:16,701
BACK AMONG THE WORKING PEOPLE
OF THIS CITY,
218
00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:19,400
WHERE I FEEL SO COMFORTABLE.
219
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:21,701
[ DINGS ]
220
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:25,968
[ Strained voice ] WE'RE NOT
OFF TO A GOOD START.
221
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,834
DON'T WORRY, SIR.
222
00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:30,267
YOU CAN ICE THAT
ON YOUR BREAK.
223
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,634
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE,
I CHECKED THIS PLACE OUT.
224
00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:34,801
IT'S THE SLOWEST LUNCH SHIFT
IN THE CITY.
225
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,868
WE SELL 5 BURGERS,
WE'RE OUT IN 20 MINUTES.
226
00:10:36,901 --> 00:10:38,667
[ Strained voice ]
OKAY.
227
00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:41,901
I DIDN'T COME HERE TODAY
FOR THIS PHOTO-OP SHAM.
228
00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:44,734
I'M HERE TO HELP YOU REACH
YOUR POTENTIAL
229
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:47,601
SO THAT ONE DAY
YOU CAN WALK OUT THAT DOOR
230
00:10:47,634 --> 00:10:49,434
AND INTO A BRIGHTER FUTURE!
231
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,133
BUT I LIKE IT HERE.
232
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:54,100
THEY LET ME EAT ANYTHING
THAT FALLS ON THE FLOOR.
233
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,534
YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
234
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:58,133
YOU HAVE TO USE THIS JOB
AS A STEPPING STONE.
235
00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:00,400
IN THE WORDS
OF WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD --
236
00:11:00,434 --> 00:11:03,834
"IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT,
YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT.
237
00:11:03,868 --> 00:11:06,701
IF YOU CAN DREAM IT,
YOU CAN BECOME IT."
238
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,801
BUT IF I DROP IT...
I CAN EAT IT.
239
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,767
HEY, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME
FOR THE PHOTO.
240
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,367
HEY.
241
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,367
YOU'RE OKAY, BUDDY?
242
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,467
I JUST RAN OVER
243
00:11:19,501 --> 00:11:21,434
FROM THE PHISH CONCERT
IN CENTRAL PARK.
244
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:22,834
I WANTED TO BEAT THE CROWD.
245
00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,767
CROWD?
246
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,868
[ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING ]
247
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:42,367
OKAY, YOU GOT A NUMBER-2
COMBO AND A SPRITE,
248
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,534
AND I'M LOOKING
AT THE REGISTER,
249
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:47,901
AND I DON'T SEE A PICTURE
OF ANYTHING CALLED "DOOBAGE."
250
00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:49,467
Charlie, I can't believe
251
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,601
I let you talk me
into coming here!
252
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:54,334
This is the biggest tragedy
since Tiananmen Square!
253
00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:57,267
Way to keep things
in perspective, sir.
254
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,968
Just try to stay calm.
Remember, the press is here.
255
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,434
We're not just a couple
of trained monkeys
256
00:12:03,467 --> 00:12:04,868
who smile on command!
257
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,834
MR. MAYOR! CHARLIE!
258
00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,334
HAVE YOU GUYS THOUGHT
ABOUT YOUR FUTURES?
259
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:11,968
BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING --
260
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,901
THERE ARE A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES
IN THIS NEW GLOBAL ECONOMY.
261
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,400
BURGER DOWN!
262
00:12:16,434 --> 00:12:17,534
STOP. STOP.
263
00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:19,067
STOP! STOP! STOP!
264
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,701
GIVE ME THAT!
265
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:24,901
LOOK, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE
THAN DIVING FOR FLOOR BURGER.
266
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:26,501
YOU GUYS...
267
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,100
YOU'RE LIKE THIS RAW PATTY --
268
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:29,601
YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
269
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:31,968
DO YOU WANT TO BE
ALL FLAT AND SMUSHED, HUH?
270
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,634
LIKE ALL THE OTHER BURGERS?
OR DO YOU WANT TO BE DIFFERENT?
271
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:37,968
LOOK, I'M GONNA TELL YOU GUYS
SOMETHING RIGHT NOW
272
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,868
THAT IS GONNA CHANGE
YOUR LIVES FOREVER.
273
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,734
A CHICKEN SANDWICH --
WHITE MEAT ONLY --
274
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:43,968
EXTRA SPECIAL SAUCE,
275
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,434
AND ROMAINE LETTUCE,
BUT ONLY IF IT'S FRESH.
276
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:47,868
GOTCHA.
277
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,534
ONE ROWDY BURGER.
278
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:52,801
HEY, HEY --
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
279
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,501
TO SHAKE OFF THE MALAISE
280
00:12:54,534 --> 00:12:56,868
THAT HAS BEEN INFLICTED
UPON US
281
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,667
BY THIS MIND-NUMBING JOB!
282
00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:03,501
CARTER'S A DEAD MAN.
283
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,267
* OH, SUZANNA
284
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,100
* OH, DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME
285
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:10,767
CAITLIN, PLEASE,
I'M BEGGING YOU --
286
00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:12,534
GO BACK TO BUYING SHOES.
287
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:14,834
"MAMBO KINGS"
WAS ON LAST NIGHT.
288
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,868
ARMAND ASSANTE.
289
00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:19,367
HEY, PAUL, THIS CELIBACY THING
MAY WORK FOR YOU,
290
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,767
BUT I AM MISERABLE!
291
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,100
OH, NO -- CAITLIN...
292
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,467
YOU'VE COME TOO FAR
TO TURN BACK NOW.
293
00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:27,100
YOU'RE THIS CLOSE
294
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:29,968
TO A LIFE
OF SEXLESS SOLITUDE.
295
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,934
YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
THE HOT DELIVERY GUY.
296
00:13:32,968 --> 00:13:34,467
WHERE?
297
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:39,434
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE HIM.
298
00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:43,434
I FEEL NOTHING.
I'M ASEXUAL -- BLAND!
299
00:13:43,467 --> 00:13:47,234
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
300
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,834
NICE WORK, NORMA RAE.
301
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:50,968
WE'LL TELL THE PRESS
WE DIDN'T EXPECT THIS,
302
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,968
AND WE'RE NOT TRAINED
TO HANDLE IT.
303
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,267
PERFECT, CARTER --
304
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,334
"THE MAYOR'S STAFF
CAN'T SERVE PEOPLE FOOD,
305
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:58,567
"BUT PLEASE TRUST US
TO KEEP THE STREETS SAFE
306
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,033
AND EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN."
307
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,934
I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT TONE.
308
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:04,000
YOU SABOTAGED
MY PRESS CONFERENCE,
309
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,801
THEN YOU CONVINCED THE ENTIRE
KITCHEN STAFF TO WALK,
310
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:09,300
INCLUDING A YOUNG MAN
WHO I CONSIDER TO BE
311
00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:11,767
THE BEST MILKSHAKE GUY
ON THE EAST COAST.
312
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:14,567
I THINK I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT
TO CHANGE MY TONE.
313
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:17,868
EXCUSE ME IF I'M A LITTLE MORE
PASSIONATE ABOUT PEOPLE
314
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:19,834
THAN PHOTO OPS.
315
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:21,934
YOU KNOW WHAT?
316
00:14:21,968 --> 00:14:24,567
ICARE
ABOUT PHOTO OPS,
317
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,501
BECAUSE IF THE MAYOR
DOESN'T LOOK GOOD,
318
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,133
WE ALL LOSE OUR CREDIBILITY.
319
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,934
AND WE CAN'T HELP PEOPLE
FIND NEW JOBS,
320
00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:32,434
CREATE AFFORDABLE HOUSING,
AND FINALLY GET NEW YORK
321
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,467
A WOMEN'S PRO
BEACH-VOLLEYBALL TEAM.
322
00:14:34,501 --> 00:14:37,534
I'M PASSIONATE
ABOUT THINGS, TOO.
323
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:39,200
OK, I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
324
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,367
BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY
ABOUT THE MAYOR.
325
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,901
HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
326
00:14:42,934 --> 00:14:44,667
[ CASH REGISTER DINGS ]
327
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,000
OH, SON OF A --
328
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,133
IN THE TWO HOURS
BEFORE WE CLOSE,
329
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,667
YOU AND I ARE GONNA MAKE SURE
EVERY CUSTOMER JAMS
330
00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:57,367
1/4 POUND OF SATURATED FAT
INTO THEIR ARTERIES.
331
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,334
THERE ARE OVER
A HUNDRED PEOPLE OUT THERE.
332
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,734
CARTER...
333
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,033
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME...
334
00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:07,601
"IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT,
YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT."
335
00:15:07,634 --> 00:15:11,033
OKAY, I'M IN.
336
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:16,567
The Beach Boys:
* OFF THE FLORIDA KEYS
337
00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:22,000
* THERE'S A PLACE
CALLED KOKOMO *
338
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:24,267
* THAT'S WHERE
YOU WANNA GO *
339
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:29,467
* TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL
340
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:33,567
* BODIES IN THE SAND
341
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:37,801
* TROPICAL DRINK
MELTING IN YOUR HAND *
342
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:39,968
* WE'LL BE FALLING IN LOVE
343
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000
* TO THE RHYTHM
OF A STEEL-DRUM BAND *
344
00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:44,767
* DOWN IN KOKOMO...
345
00:15:44,801 --> 00:15:46,200
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
346
00:15:46,234 --> 00:15:48,701
I AM CRANKIN'.
347
00:15:52,801 --> 00:15:54,467
HEY, STUART!
348
00:15:54,501 --> 00:15:57,200
I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
OKAY?
349
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:04,901
[ PANTS ]
350
00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:06,767
AWESOME RIDE.
351
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:08,667
BY THE WAY...
352
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,133
IT STARTS TO RATTLE
WHEN YOU HIT 100.
353
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,767
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TONIGHT?
354
00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:14,667
TONIGHT?
355
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:18,501
JUST SOME DAREDEVILING,
THEN NOTHING.
356
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:21,467
HOW ABOUT A NICE
CANDLELIGHT DINNER AT MY PLACE?
357
00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:23,000
I COULD SWING BY.
GREAT!
358
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,634
OH, I HAVE SOME BOXES
I NEED TO BRING HOME,
359
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,701
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE
A CAB.
360
00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:30,067
YOU CAN RIDE MY BIKE
OUT TO QUEENS FOR ME, RIGHT?
361
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,534
QUEENS?
362
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,334
THAT'S REALLY FAR.
363
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:39,133
FOR AN EXTRA 29 CENTS,
364
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,767
I CAN JUMBO-SIZE THOSE FRIES
AND ROWDY UP YOUR SHAKE.
365
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,400
I AM ON FIRE.
366
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:47,968
SIZE FRIES, SHAKE QUAKE
ON THAT NUMBER 4.
367
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,033
THAT'S $8.16.
368
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,901
GOTCHA COVERED, BOYS.
369
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,968
OH, YOU'RE HERE. GREAT.
GRAB AN APRON. WE NEED HELP.
370
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,167
NO CAN DO.
371
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,234
THIS IS AN OFFICIAL
MEDIA EVENT.
372
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:05,734
IF I GET INVOLVED,
373
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,601
AS PRESS SECRETARY,
IT WOULD COMPROMISE MY IMAGE.
374
00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:11,567
I'D BUY THAT IF I DIDN'T
JUST SEE YOU IN THE PLAY AREA
375
00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:14,000
BELLY-FLOPPING INTO THE BIN
OF PLASTIC BALLS.
376
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,334
I THOUGHT
THE KID WAS DROWNING.
377
00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,701
MMM.
378
00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:24,634
YOU KNOW, IT FEELS GREAT
NOT TO HAVE TO WORRY
379
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,767
ABOUT HOW I LOOK,
WHAT I EAT.
380
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:30,200
I NEVER REALIZED BEING CELIBATE
COULD HAVE SUCH ADVANTAGES.
381
00:17:30,234 --> 00:17:32,100
SEX IS SO OVERRATED --
382
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,968
ESPECIALLY THE WAY I DO IT.
383
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,501
WELCOME TO ROWDY BURGER.
I'M "MAYOR."
384
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,334
I THINK
HE WAS IN FRONT OF ME.
385
00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:40,734
OH, MY GOD...
386
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,334
YOU'RE ARMAND ASSANTE.
387
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:44,467
OH, I AM A HUGE FAN
OF YOURS!
388
00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:47,734
[ Foreign accent ]
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
I'M NOT ARMAND ASSANTE.
389
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,501
YOU HAVE A PICKLE
IN YOUR HAIR.
390
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:52,033
OH! [ CHUCKLES ]
391
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,601
THANKS.
392
00:17:53,634 --> 00:17:56,667
OH, I LOVED YOU
IN "THE MAMBO KINGS."
393
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,100
NO, NO, YOU DIDN'T.
394
00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,667
I'D --
395
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:02,067
I'D LIKE A NUMBER 5...
TO GO.
396
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,434
I'M BOTHERING YOU.
397
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:05,367
I'M SORRY. I JUST --
398
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,033
THAT WOMAN
NEEDS TO HAVE SEX.
399
00:18:14,701 --> 00:18:16,167
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
400
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,834
I JUST MAXED OUT
MY CREDIT CARD,
401
00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:20,167
AND I AM ON MY WAY
TO ZIMBABWE TO SEE MIKE.
402
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,767
THIS IS WEAKNESS.
403
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,267
I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
YOU'VE DONE FOR ME.
404
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,801
WHEN I GET BACK,
405
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:28,100
I AM GONNA FIND SOMEONE
FOR YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH.
406
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:29,934
BUT --
407
00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:37,701
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
408
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:43,033
* WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
409
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:46,434
* CAN'T KEEP HIS MIND
ON NOTHIN' ELSE... *
410
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:48,267
[ HORN HONKS ]
411
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,734
SHUT UP!
412
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,567
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN,
OKAY?!
413
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,200
WHAT A DAY.
414
00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:59,033
MY FEET ARE KILLING ME.
415
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:01,634
I DON'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I WAS THIS TIRED.
416
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:03,334
I CAN.
417
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:06,133
I ONCE SPENT AN ENTIRE SUMMER
CRACKING SLATE IN A QUARRY.
418
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:08,000
I HAD A SUMMER
LIKE THAT ONCE.
419
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:11,467
WHAT DID YOU DO?
USHER AT "LES MIS."
420
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:12,968
WOW.
421
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,667
I FEEL LIKE A REAL WUSS
422
00:19:14,701 --> 00:19:17,167
FOR MENTIONING
THAT QUARRY STUFF.
423
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,167
LISTEN, CHARLIE, I, UH...
424
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,367
WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING
SO DIFFICULT BACK THERE.
425
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,167
I WAS OUT OF LINE.
426
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,400
THE MAYOR IS GONNA GET
SOME GREAT P.R. OUT OF THIS.
427
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:27,934
IT NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
428
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:30,100
IF YOU HADN'T PUSHED US
AND BEEN SUCH A PAIN.
429
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,100
I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT
AS YOUR FRIEND,
430
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:34,067
I'M SAYING THAT
AS YOUR SHIFT MANAGER.
431
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:41,567
YEAH, WELL,
I APPRECIATE THAT, AND...
432
00:19:41,601 --> 00:19:45,133
I'M SORRY
ABOUT THE GREASE FIRE.
433
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,267
IT'S OKAY.
434
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:50,033
FOLKS SEEMED TO LIKE
THE NEW CHARBURGER.
435
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,901
[ SIGHS ]
436
00:19:51,934 --> 00:19:53,501
IT'S STRANGE --
437
00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:55,968
YOU'VE MADE THE LAST TWO DAYS
OF MY LIFE MISERABLE.
438
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,667
YOU SAY
ALL THESE WEIRD THINGS,
439
00:19:57,701 --> 00:20:00,033
AND YOU TAKE A REALLY LONG TIME
SAYING THEM.
440
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,167
BUT I LIKE YOU.
441
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,601
THANKS.
442
00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:07,133
YOU KNOW, CHARLIE,
443
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,167
I'VE OFTEN PONDERED
THE SIGNIFICANCE OF --
444
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,400
SO...
445
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,601
"LES MIS," HUH?
446
00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:21,634
I'VE ALWAYS HAD A THING
FOR HOT PEASANT CHICKS.
447
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,767
GOOD NIGHT, CHARLIE.
448
00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:26,000
GOOD NIGHT.
449
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:28,234
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
450
00:20:32,434 --> 00:20:33,701
HELLO.
451
00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:35,434
OH, HI, ALLISON.
452
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:38,133
OH, YOU GOT THE FLOWERS?
453
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:42,033
COME ON, ALLISON.
THEY'RE JUST FLOWERS.
454
00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:43,934
A BACKRUB?
455
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:46,200
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
456
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,334
WHO'S THAT IN THE BACKGROUND?
457
00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,601
YEAH, SHE CAN COME.
458
00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:06,200
HEY.
459
00:21:06,234 --> 00:21:08,000
I SAW YOU
ON THE NEWS AT 6:00...
460
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:11,467
AND 10:00...AND 11:00.
461
00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:14,067
OH. CAN I STILL COME IN
FOR DINNER?
462
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,367
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
463
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,868
BREAKFAST?
464
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:20,667
THANKS FOR BRINGING
MY BIKE.
465
00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:29,601
SCO-O-O-RE!
466
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
- [MAN] SIT, UBU, SIT. GOOD DOG.
- [UBU BARKS]
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