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The following programme contains strong
language.
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Well, do you want to marry me or what?
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Like you wouldn't believe.
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Remember when we'd been going out for
six months?
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You made me that little silver heart.
6
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I am to move to the historic town of
Middlesborough.
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Well, I'm not his father. Who is?
8
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Jack is.
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Orc, how do you actually spell your
name? Is it O -R -K?
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No, it's O -A -K.
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Orc, isn't it? Like the tree?
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Douchebag. Hey.
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Brother, who cares about spelling? It's
just another form of social
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imprisonment.
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Coming through.
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Ponteberry's newest and finest.
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Sorry,
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babe. Loving life.
19
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Anyone fancy some porridge?
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No way. It's like eating papi mashy. You
don't look the type to eat porridge,
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Del. I always think of you as a bit of a
sausage muncher. Yeah, well, I'm trying
22
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to lose the stone, aren't I?
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What for?
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Nothing. I noticed you put on a bit
since I've been away.
25
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Oh, love of needs, a body, you know.
It's the milk inside the coconut that
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counts, not the hairy, hoary shell.
27
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Were you saying, Oak, that I'm a hairy,
hoary shell?
28
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In a way, yeah.
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Nice. Well, good God, I have seen it all
now.
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That Michael Jackson moving boxes and
all sorts into his garden shreds. Don't
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tell me he finally left you.
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Oh, shut up.
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He's turning it into an office, that's
all, till he finds somewhere more
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permanent. Oh, how the mighty have
fallen, eh?
35
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:08,500
One minute a high -flying city lawyer on
the banks of the South Bank, next
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thing, setting up office on a Ponderbury
allotment.
37
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But who are?
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Right, you lot, clear up after you. I'm
taking Michael his porridge.
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She's nothing but a slave to that man.
40
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No pride.
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Give me an around him, like bossing him
from downtown.
42
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But, I'll say it again.
43
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Here we are.
44
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Sex after breakfast.
45
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This is fun.
46
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Decadent. I was going to say naughty,
but decadent sounds so much better.
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Do you know what?
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I've been in this bed a few times. Oh,
you most certainly have.
49
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,500
And I always wonder why you've only got
one bedside table.
50
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:01,620
Oh.
51
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Well, I... I haven't had need of two
before.
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After the divorce, I... Dad!
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Get his on for my visa.
54
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Just a minute. Ganto said you'd gone
back to bed. Are you ill or what the
55
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Just a minute.
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I'm sorry, but this...
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This is exactly what it looks like.
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I can't believe you haven't told her.
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Not even Katie?
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No. Or Ben, or Luke, or Emma?
61
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No. Surely you can tell Banjo.
62
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Go on, then.
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Banjo, Stella and I are getting married.
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But you're not to breathe a word, OK?
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Oh,
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I've ordered my dress.
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He's a size too small, but I thought
that would give me a goal.
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00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,900
You know, like two months to lose a
stone.
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I'm going up Dr Crony's now in a bit to
get some of them slimming tablets.
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Why do women always buy dresses a size
smaller than they actually are? Why not
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just buy the right size?
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00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,920
You know nothing about female
psychology, do you?
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You say that again.
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00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,520
What if Beyonce isn't lying?
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What if Jackson really isn't my boy?
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I miss him so much still, but I don't
even know if he's...
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Mine to miss.
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00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:23,650
Look, for what it's worth, I was there
when that baby was born, and he was the
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splitting image of you.
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Splitting image, not splitting.
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Is it? Yeah.
82
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Anyway, when babies are newborn, they
look like their dads, apparently.
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00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,570
Harks back to when we were apes or lions
or something.
84
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Lions, are you sure? And that baby was
definitely yours.
85
00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:44,310
Now, I might be wrong about it, of
course I might, but I don't think I am.
86
00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:49,490
It's a definitely spitting image, not
spitting.
87
00:04:49,770 --> 00:04:50,770
Yeah.
88
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I thought we could pop down the market
today, Nads.
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Angry Paul said he's got some cracking
new stuff on the store.
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00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:02,750
Like these wind -up squirrels, ever so
lifelike.
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00:05:03,230 --> 00:05:09,170
He got, um, grey, and a red,
92
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and a dusty pink, and a... Nadine, I
know you are angry.
93
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,240
But please, meet me at the bench at two.
94
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I must with you speak.
95
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We've got to get one for Genevieve,
right?
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Yeah, whatever.
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I do love angry folk.
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Cracking sense of humour.
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00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,360
You seem to have brought half of Ibiza
back with you.
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Where's Danny?
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Dead out there.
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He's got a job in a bar.
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Oh, so you... I know. We haven't split
up.
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I'm going back next week.
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I just popped home for a few days to
surprise you. And what do I find? Are
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sleeping with the pub cleaner?
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She is not the pub cleaner. Yes, she is.
She is my love.
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Oh, please.
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Who happens to be the pub cleaner.
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It's all so seedy, Dad. The whole thing.
111
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,670
I mean, what's she really after, hmm?
112
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:10,690
I thought you might want this to be a
laundry.
113
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It's an ironing board.
114
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Stella, what are you doing here?
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Baby's not ill, is he?
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No, it's just a check -up.
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Hello, sweetheart.
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See, I do care about my baby.
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I know it's a shock.
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Why are you here? You sick?
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No, just fat.
122
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Hello.
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Isn't it fresh?
124
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How about Michael?
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I will not leave this doorstep until you
believe me when I say I do not care one
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toot what anybody says or thinks.
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Especially Jasminder, who may be my
daughter, but she is very misguided,
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I think you are a wonderful person.
129
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Thank you very much.
130
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Sorry, Jamie.
131
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Is your mother there?
132
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Who wants to know?
133
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Yeah,
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00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:38,470
I'm just setting up my new office.
135
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Can I call you back later when I have a
chance to look through the contract?
136
00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:44,970
Yeah, and then we can arrange to meet
next week.
137
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,450
He's got green fingers and he speaks
Arabic.
138
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His talents are never -ending.
139
00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:54,790
I'm not very good at crosswords.
140
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:59,610
That was my new boss, and this is my new
and temporary office.
141
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:02,570
What time do you leave for London?
142
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About five.
143
00:08:04,370 --> 00:08:05,370
Michael, can we talk?
144
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,310
Look, put him out of his misery.
145
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:12,150
If Michael isn't Jackson's dad, then
it's going to kill him.
146
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But he needs to know so he can get on
with his life.
147
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And what if he is? If he is, then I
promise I will persuade him not to go
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custody.
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What do you say?
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00:08:24,990 --> 00:08:27,270
I say stop sticking your bloody oar in.
151
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,800
Beyonce Evans, Dr. Cronier, please.
152
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Please, Beyonce.
153
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Come on, babe.
154
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No one likes sorting out their will.
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00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,980
Up until recently, I thought I was
immortal.
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My lawyer in Canada has a copy. I
thought it would be a good idea for you
157
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:51,800
have one as well.
158
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,200
Do you mind, dear?
159
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:54,820
No, of course not.
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Does Stella know you're doing this?
161
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,360
No.
162
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,120
And I'd rather you didn't mention it.
Don't want her getting upset.
163
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,680
And the less she knows the better. You
know what she's like. She'll worry.
164
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,880
You used to love her, don't you, Rob?
165
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,280
She's the mother of my son.
166
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That's not what I asked you.
167
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She's very difficult not to love.
168
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,840
Suzanne and I are having a pub lunch.
169
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,060
Want to join us?
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00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:32,820
Yeah. Why not? A sort of farewell meal
before I'm stuck on hospital food for a
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fortnight. God help me.
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00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,960
I'm glad she met you, Michael.
173
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,560
So am I.
174
00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,110
Two glasses of white wine, please.
175
00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:04,329
Coming right up.
176
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,330
So where to with Barbara?
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Orc have taken him water to vine then.
178
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:08,990
Oh, there's a lot of it above.
179
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Water, I mean.
180
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:14,050
Listen, I've only got an hour because
I've got to get back and pack for
181
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:16,690
You know me and Luke are going up with
Rob. Yeah.
182
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,090
I've been focusing on his recovery and
my meditation, like.
183
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:22,770
Have you?
184
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,250
Right.
185
00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:27,790
God, I can't believe we've been back a
week and I'm only now seeing you.
186
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,680
Have I got something in my test?
187
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,620
I'm connecting with your aura.
188
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,620
Hiya. Oh, there's your mum. Hiya.
189
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:41,420
Oh, she wasn't connecting with your
aura, was she, Fresh?
190
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:42,839
Uh, yeah.
191
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:43,719
Emma, the A.
192
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:44,720
And say hello to Suzanne.
193
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,560
Namaste. We're having lunch if you want
to join us.
194
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,960
Uh, no time for eating. We have got
drinking to do.
195
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:03,770
Me and Oak speak Punjabi when we're
making love.
196
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,910
Oh, it's such a beautiful language.
197
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,890
Must be pretty fluent then, you.
198
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:15,750
You have a small duck?
199
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,250
Child. I mean child.
200
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,860
So you've got a job now, then, though?
201
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:34,500
Yeah, and it's been proper life
-changing, you know? Having some
202
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,260
not just looking after the kids all day.
203
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,120
You never catch me being tied down by
kids or a job. I mean, I wouldn't say
204
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:40,979
tied down, though.
205
00:11:40,980 --> 00:11:46,100
Oak says that to pray is to work, and
that bringing up a child is the most
206
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,500
thing a person can do.
207
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:48,960
Sounds amazing.
208
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,160
Is Oak his real name?
209
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,460
It's a spirit name.
210
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:56,200
Stella said he's born in Warrington, so
what did his mum and dad call him?
211
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,200
Donald.
212
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:12,679
Oh, my God.
213
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,480
So I told my dad what I thought of his
girlfriend this morning. She only went
214
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,480
and bloody over -ed.
215
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,560
What do you mean, Carol?
216
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,340
She's good as gold, she is. But you can
do so much better.
217
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,260
Jazz, don't be so mean. She's beautiful,
I think. I'm really kind. You don't
218
00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:25,260
even know her, do you?
219
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,460
Emma, seriously?
220
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,780
You're getting on my tits now. I mean, I
can't even understand what you're
221
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:35,820
saying. It looks on nothing like
Punjabi. Yeah, well, maybe you don't
222
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:39,260
because you've forgotten how to speak
it. Emma, listen to you.
223
00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:42,510
You spend a year over there and you
think you're daily born and bred, Jack.
224
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:46,370
just saying, you've been westernised,
and that's really sad. Em, I was born in
225
00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:48,990
Leeds, for God's sake. You were born in
Pontybloodyberry.
226
00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,570
Girls, we're meant to be having fun.
This is meant to be a laugh.
227
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,170
Come on, we haven't seen each other for
years. Yeah, well, we should stay in
228
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:56,170
Ibiza now.
229
00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:59,750
You're only interested in talking about
work and kids, and you think you're
230
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,509
bloody Indian.
231
00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:01,369
Oh, I'm going home.
232
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,030
I'm at peace with myself, Jack. You're
freaking me out.
233
00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:05,730
Oh, go back to your weirdo of a
boyfriend.
234
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,800
Oh, my God, I love meringue and all.
235
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,740
Well, order one, then. Excuse me. No, I
can't.
236
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:19,260
I'll just have a bit of yours. Don't
count that, do it. She used to say that
237
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,260
about cigarettes.
238
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:26,000
Oh, not exactly pining at you with a
sunny mic.
239
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,360
Can't say.
240
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:28,620
I'll get on you, Rob.
241
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,040
Yeah, fine. I'd use a blunt end, haven't
I, Rob?
242
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,560
Sorry, I don't think we're being
introduced.
243
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,540
This is the mother of Michael's baby.
244
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:40,850
Oh, well, we're not 100 % like... In
fact, that's what I come to say. I've
245
00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:43,370
to think about what Stella said this
morning, and if... You mean what Stella
246
00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:47,670
said? And if you promise on his life you
won't go for custody... What's she
247
00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:50,510
talking about? Can we not do this right
now? Well, she said if I did the test,
248
00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:51,930
she'd make sure you didn't go for
custody.
249
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:52,989
Didn't you, Stella?
250
00:13:52,990 --> 00:13:54,750
Why do you say that? It wasn't like
that.
251
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:56,630
Oh, Bonsby! Oh, Lord.
252
00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:58,650
Do one cack as I'm talking.
253
00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:01,430
I don't care. You aren't being answered
in my calls, and I want to know if
254
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:04,460
that's my kid or not. This is so
humiliating. Shall I order some copies?
255
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:07,860
mine, then fine. If he's not, I'm not
having you screwing me out of every
256
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:12,160
I got just to pay for some posh bloke's
sprog. Or a cheese board. Truth is, I
257
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,160
don't know what it is, OK?
258
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:16,820
I don't need that time with you up the
wennell and you the wee caster at my
259
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:19,020
house. What about Kelly Jenkins' 21st?
Oh, yeah.
260
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,420
Do you think they'd do a cheese board?
And down the alley back a drinking safe?
261
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,980
Right, Beyonce, this is ridiculous. You
have got to sort this out once and for
262
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:29,580
all. Yes, I'll arrange to get the test
done privately.
263
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:30,840
No need, Mikey boy.
264
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,450
We're going on Selina Child.
265
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:36,850
Er, no, we're not. Yes, we are. I spoke
to him this morning. What is Selina
266
00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:41,870
Child? She's a Welsh girl. We are not
going on Selina Child, OK? English Jerry
267
00:14:41,870 --> 00:14:43,710
Springer. They want us on tomorrow
afternoon.
268
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,350
Will they pay travel?
269
00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:46,390
They're putting on a bus.
270
00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:47,870
Aye, all right, yeah, I'm done with
that.
271
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:51,330
Are you serious? Selina Child's a
monster. She destroys people. You're a
272
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:52,910
solicitor, no different than being in
court.
273
00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:56,690
Yeah, why not? Three of my mates are
doing their paternity on there. If
274
00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:59,390
a fortune, by all accounts. Well, you're
on your own, because I'm not going
275
00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,630
anywhere near it. Well, suit yourself.
276
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,120
I'll let you know the outcome.
277
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,740
What about a brandy?
278
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,040
Anyone?
279
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,960
Carl thinks I'm jogging, so get on with
it.
280
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,320
How are you? Are you well?
281
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:24,880
Listen, Ivan.
282
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,180
I've been pushed and pulled from pillow
to post.
283
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:31,110
One minute I'm kissed. The next I'm
rejected, and quite frankly, I can't
284
00:15:31,110 --> 00:15:32,310
more. So what do you want?
285
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,450
To explain all of this action.
286
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:36,970
Well, go on, then.
287
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,730
I was once a married man.
288
00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:45,630
My wife, she was a dancer.
289
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:48,990
Rita Renee, legs like a willow in the
Queen of Plié.
290
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:50,590
Very nice, I'm sure.
291
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,730
We were happy for a while.
292
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:57,510
And then Rita Renee, she fell in love
with a ballerina from Hull.
293
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:58,820
Called Malcolm.
294
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,320
Ballerina?
295
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,960
Did he wear a tutu in that? He was in
the corps de ballet.
296
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:09,040
He wore not a tutu, just a cynical smile
upon his cheek and a guilty pleasure in
297
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:09,659
his eye.
298
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:10,499
Go on.
299
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,180
Rita, she left me for Malcolm, and my
heart, it broke.
300
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:17,160
And I vowed I would never to another man
do what he to me had done.
301
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:21,320
And then I met you, a married woman.
302
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,160
A happily married woman.
303
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,020
Well, at least I was up until a few
weeks ago.
304
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:33,730
Miss Bevan, you have shaken to its core
my world.
305
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,010
Tell me about it.
306
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:37,830
My whole life I've gone to cock since I
met you.
307
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:42,410
If I do not ask you this, I will live
with regret until my dying breath.
308
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:46,150
I have here a ticket.
309
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:50,870
A one -way ticket to Middlesbrough.
310
00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:54,730
I want you to come away with me.
311
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:56,950
You and Genevieve.
312
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,180
There is no ticket for her as children
may travel for free until the age of
313
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,180
five.
314
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,319
Hang on a minute.
315
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,980
Me and Jan just can't up sticks and head
north.
316
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,060
What do you think we are, a traveling
circus?
317
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,140
Please, say no more.
318
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,160
Merely think upon it and let me know.
319
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,140
Okay, hotel details on my phone.
320
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,680
Overnight bags packed separately.
321
00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:28,420
Per.
322
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:32,260
Laptop. DVDs, because I'm going to be so
bored. Yeah, and I put that horror film
323
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,260
in I was telling you about.
324
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:36,120
Nice. Can I leave you the keys to the
cottage, Stella?
325
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,620
Then you can maybe put the heating on
for when we get back, which will be
326
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:41,620
than you think.
327
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:43,660
God.
328
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,760
Oh, come here.
329
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,500
You start me off.
330
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,400
Sorry. Bloody women, honestly. They cry
at the drop of a hat.
331
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:53,580
Oi! Just because you're ill doesn't mean
you can be sexist.
332
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:55,060
You spoil all the fun you do.
333
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
Right. Go you.
334
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:06,999
Good luck, Ron.
335
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
Thank you.
336
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,220
Right, come on.
337
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,680
I want to get me behind that wheel.
338
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:37,980
Tell her there's something I want to do.
Oh, now, don't be worrying about that
339
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:41,380
stupid TV show, because it'll be over
and forgotten with before you know it.
340
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:42,380
it's not that.
341
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:46,120
It's silly, really. It's something I've
been carrying around with me for days.
342
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,680
A guilty secret?
343
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:49,740
No.
344
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,180
This.
345
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,200
Oh, you gorgeous, beautiful man.
346
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:01,200
I know we wanted it to be a secret,
but...
347
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:04,310
I want people to know how lucky I am.
348
00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:21,130
You'll be Stella Jackson.
349
00:19:21,770 --> 00:19:23,470
I know. Sounds good, doesn't it?
350
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,350
Better than Morris, I've got to say.
351
00:19:25,550 --> 00:19:26,550
Which was better than God?
352
00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:29,150
Oh, Mum, that's wicked and well
-chuffed.
353
00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:30,710
Can me and little Al do your wedding
video?
354
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:35,950
Well, the thing is, Presh, we want to
keep it really low -key, you know, just
355
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,650
the two of us and two witnesses.
356
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,950
What? You're not inviting us? Your own
children? Mum!
357
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:42,229
That's rank!
358
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:43,230
Itali.
359
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:44,710
Negativity.
360
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,310
Well, I'm sorry, but it is.
361
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:48,190
I wanted Abra to be a pageboy.
362
00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:53,210
Never mind Abra. I want to be pageboy.
Do you? Why? Not pageboy. Best man. You
363
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:54,830
said pageboy. Didn't. Yeah, you did.
364
00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:56,730
Didn't. I was just speaking to Katie.
365
00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:59,750
She's very happy for us. We're not best
pleased that we're not inviting her.
366
00:19:59,970 --> 00:20:02,860
See? Right, well, to kids, then, yeah?
367
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,820
What in the name of gritty -pillitty is
going on? I just heard you two are
368
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:08,559
getting married.
369
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,380
And you haven't invited me, the mayor of
Poulterbury, and your own flesh and
370
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:15,280
blood. Have you really come to this?
Hey, congratulations.
371
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:16,940
We heard you got engaged.
372
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,500
Yeah, nice, well done.
373
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:19,820
Let's see the ring.
374
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,060
Yeah, nice, well done.
375
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,260
So when's the big day?
376
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:23,600
Yeah, when is the big day?
377
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:24,960
This is why.
378
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:52,890
Don't have a go, all right.
379
00:20:53,930 --> 00:20:55,110
Head can't take it.
380
00:20:56,210 --> 00:20:57,350
I heard you went clubbing.
381
00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,230
This place was doing my heading.
382
00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:01,870
Mates have all changed.
383
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:03,910
Don't know why I bothered coming back.
384
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,950
Well, your dad's really pleased you did.
385
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:07,210
Him?
386
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,070
What does he care?
387
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,030
He's all loved up with his new
girlfriend.
388
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,370
Oh, no offence.
389
00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:20,830
I really like him, you know, child.
390
00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:24,330
I'm not some wicked witch coming to
steal him away.
391
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:26,470
I know.
392
00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:32,130
Look, I'm sorry for what I said
yesterday.
393
00:21:32,870 --> 00:21:35,290
I shout my mouth off sometimes and I
don't think.
394
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:39,090
And I've got to say, I haven't seen my
dad this happy in ages.
395
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:41,910
So he must be doing something right.
396
00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:48,790
Their ropes lead nothing to the
imagination, do they?
397
00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:52,410
Very well ventilated, that's for sure.
398
00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:54,830
Where's Suzanne?
399
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:56,970
Zoe just chatted to the nurse.
400
00:21:59,510 --> 00:22:01,990
So, you all right?
401
00:22:03,270 --> 00:22:04,270
That's all I'll ever be.
402
00:22:05,350 --> 00:22:08,010
Hey, I bet you're gutted you're missing
the Selina child show.
403
00:22:08,230 --> 00:22:10,090
Yeah, I'll never forgive you.
404
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:15,390
Look, if I don't... Yeah.
405
00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:20,190
Let's not have this conversation, is it?
No, everything's just taken care of,
406
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:21,210
that's all.
407
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:24,490
I don't say this nearly often enough.
408
00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:27,130
But I love you, Luke.
409
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:30,750
And I'm really proud that you're my son.
410
00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:38,730
Just hurry up and get well, will you?
411
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:40,550
You stubborn old bastard.
412
00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:46,470
Okay, the porter's here now, Mr Morgan.
Shall we get on with it?
413
00:22:46,810 --> 00:22:47,970
Got nothing better to do.
414
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:20,830
I just heard from Luke.
415
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:22,850
Rob's gone down to theatre.
416
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:24,670
Bless him.
417
00:23:25,110 --> 00:23:26,110
You all right?
418
00:23:26,610 --> 00:23:27,610
Not really.
419
00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:31,710
Me and Oak, our energies have collided.
420
00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:33,770
You mean you've fallen out?
421
00:23:34,290 --> 00:23:35,290
Yeah.
422
00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:36,630
Where to is he now, then?
423
00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:38,710
Gone off in a huff up Warrington.
424
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,410
Oh, I don't know, ma 'am. I can't keep
it up no longer.
425
00:23:43,950 --> 00:23:45,610
Being all deep and mystical.
426
00:23:46,430 --> 00:23:48,670
I try my best, but I just get confused.
427
00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:53,790
I'd say okra, instead of chakra, and
coma, instead of karma.
428
00:23:54,590 --> 00:23:57,730
And I've got no idea what consciousness
expansion to mean.
429
00:23:59,150 --> 00:24:01,750
It was easier in India. It's like a
different world out there.
430
00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:05,790
But being back in Ponteberry made me go
all Welsh again.
431
00:24:06,190 --> 00:24:07,190
Oh, Em.
432
00:24:07,550 --> 00:24:08,730
You're so lovely.
433
00:24:09,570 --> 00:24:12,930
And if you don't like the real you, then
there's not much point there.
434
00:24:13,430 --> 00:24:14,430
I know.
435
00:24:15,430 --> 00:24:20,060
To be honest, if you wasn't so good at
oral sex, I'd have ditched him long ago.
436
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,200
Emma!
437
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,460
You'd definitely not go in this Selina
Child thing.
438
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,800
No.
439
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,300
Though I'm starting to think we should
have gone.
440
00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:34,360
Because that poor baby is going to grow
up knowing his mother was called a
441
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,220
flapper on some trashy TV show.
442
00:24:37,020 --> 00:24:38,240
Oh, too late, you know.
443
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:39,740
Where to with my girl?
444
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,700
Can I remind everybody, smoking is not
permitted in the studio.
445
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,680
Hi, guys.
446
00:24:53,900 --> 00:24:58,160
OK, can I just check, are you all here
for my sister, sweetie, my uncle, or
447
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,800
who's the daddy, it ain't me?
448
00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:02,040
Who's the daddy, it ain't me?
449
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:06,100
Hey, I'll take my counsellor friend to
be groovy. Directly no alcohol in the
450
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:07,860
studio. Whoa, I'm going to quit for 11.
451
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,980
Shall we go and get the camera?
452
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,540
I'd rather be here.
453
00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:16,660
Sorry, we're in for that.
454
00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:22,860
What's happening?
455
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,320
Nothing. A bit of fun, isn't it?
456
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:28,520
Bob's about to go away with him.
457
00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:30,760
To Middlesbrough. On a train.
458
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,580
All right, stop gasping.
459
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,840
Sorry.
460
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,560
He leaves tomorrow at 11 .37.
461
00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,750
I need to urgently speak with one of
your contributors, Beyonce Evans.
462
00:25:45,970 --> 00:25:46,849
Sorry, who are you?
463
00:25:46,850 --> 00:25:48,670
Michael Jackson. Oh, yeah, right.
464
00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:50,750
He's the father of Beyonce's child.
465
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,450
At least, we think he is.
466
00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:55,390
Look, she can't go on the show. It's not
fair on the baby.
467
00:25:57,590 --> 00:25:58,590
It's Luke.
468
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:02,110
Luke. Do you want to come with me a
minute? Any news?
469
00:26:03,530 --> 00:26:08,970
What I'd like to see is no fighting, no
swearing, no punching, no spitting,
470
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:10,250
no... Doesn't bastard you much?
471
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,240
Can I tell you anything?
472
00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:16,560
No. Only that you'll be in there at
least another two hours.
473
00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:17,980
Oh, God.
474
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:20,460
I'm sorry I'm not there with you, Prash.
475
00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:22,080
Hey, it's better this way.
476
00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:23,880
Anyway, Michael needs you.
477
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,620
You all right, do you, Lukey?
478
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,020
Yeah, you know me, Mum.
479
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:29,280
Nerves of steel.
480
00:26:30,140 --> 00:26:31,800
Go play havoc with that Selina child.
481
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:34,640
I love you.
482
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,520
Yeah, I love you too.
483
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:39,430
But there is no bloody story.
484
00:26:39,710 --> 00:26:41,930
But there is doubt of the baby's
paternity, isn't there?
485
00:26:42,730 --> 00:26:44,550
Well, yes. So let's resolve it.
486
00:26:51,270 --> 00:26:55,110
Oh, my God, I've just seen Andy the man
in the box. Oh, I like him.
487
00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:56,650
And you'll never guess who else I saw.
488
00:26:58,310 --> 00:26:59,310
Michael Jackson.
489
00:26:59,590 --> 00:27:00,750
Don't be daft, man, he's dead.
490
00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:02,650
No, our Michael.
491
00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:04,530
He's rowing with the producer.
492
00:27:04,870 --> 00:27:05,870
Cock and cock.
493
00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:07,410
Hold on to your hats.
494
00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:09,320
Come on, you're in for a bumpy ride.
495
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,420
Excuse me. Can't go through there.
496
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:16,320
What? No, I'm looking for my fiancée.
497
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:17,640
Still.
498
00:27:17,860 --> 00:27:18,860
Over by you.
499
00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:21,260
Right, move up.
500
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:23,960
She's dead.
501
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,560
Oh, my God, where's my fiancée? Stand
by, studio.
502
00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:32,340
Going in three, two, one.
503
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,160
She's fit.
504
00:27:34,180 --> 00:27:35,180
She's fearless.
505
00:27:35,460 --> 00:27:36,480
She's feisty.
506
00:27:37,210 --> 00:27:41,050
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Selina Child.
507
00:27:51,530 --> 00:27:57,850
On today's show, the sexually
irrepressible and irresponsible woman
508
00:27:57,850 --> 00:27:58,850
make up her mind.
509
00:27:59,050 --> 00:28:01,070
We ask, who's the daddy?
510
00:28:01,830 --> 00:28:03,190
I'm Selina Child.
511
00:28:05,570 --> 00:28:06,650
Oh, my God.
512
00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:08,940
Is Bobby in the audience? I'm Nadine.
513
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,700
This is how I know.
514
00:28:11,740 --> 00:28:13,620
Where have you been? It's just getting
good.
515
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,020
I have been shopping.
516
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,680
To buy this.
517
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:17,860
A bed by table?
518
00:28:18,100 --> 00:28:19,019
Yes.
519
00:28:19,020 --> 00:28:24,960
I was wondering if... Carol, would you
do me the honour of...
520
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,080
of moving in with me?
521
00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:29,900
And Jamie, of course.
522
00:28:32,220 --> 00:28:35,200
Well, you brought me a bed by table. How
could I possibly refuse?
523
00:28:41,710 --> 00:28:44,910
You've been with half the f***ing town,
man. Even Dougie Bucket and Spade.
524
00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:48,410
I thought there'd be no one near Dougie
Bucket and Spade. Well, even I heard
525
00:28:48,410 --> 00:28:50,030
that one, to be fair. Yeah, me.
526
00:28:50,290 --> 00:28:53,130
Come on, bring on me with Dougie Bucket
and Spade.
527
00:28:53,510 --> 00:28:56,630
All right, calm it down. I hear a new
f***ing problem, do you know?
528
00:28:57,250 --> 00:28:58,390
OK, calm it.
529
00:28:59,590 --> 00:29:01,050
Stop being f***ing disgusting.
530
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:02,490
Whoa!
531
00:29:04,650 --> 00:29:09,030
The issue here is not the many men she
slept with, but which one got her
532
00:29:09,030 --> 00:29:10,030
pregnant.
533
00:29:11,489 --> 00:29:15,250
You, woman with the hair, eating a
pasty, what have you got to say about
534
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,250
this?
535
00:29:16,330 --> 00:29:17,330
Me?
536
00:29:17,770 --> 00:29:18,830
I'm Mayor of Ponsbury.
537
00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:20,190
I'm impartial.
538
00:29:20,510 --> 00:29:21,510
So is Glenn.
539
00:29:22,170 --> 00:29:23,170
Yes.
540
00:29:23,370 --> 00:29:27,670
Let's turn now to the third player in
the story. He didn't want to come on
541
00:29:27,670 --> 00:29:29,630
today. Is it because he's too ashamed?
542
00:29:30,390 --> 00:29:31,430
Let's find out.
543
00:29:31,750 --> 00:29:33,010
Michael, come on out.
544
00:29:37,430 --> 00:29:39,470
I just think it's bloody ludicrous.
545
00:29:41,130 --> 00:29:45,410
gonna push for you, have we? I bet
you're hoping to hell that kid isn't
546
00:29:45,710 --> 00:29:52,410
Actually, more than anything in the
world, I hope he is.
547
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:21,840
What's happening now?
548
00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:24,060
She's just about to reveal the father.
Shh.
549
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:29,240
The father of baby Jackson is...
550
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:41,020
Michael!
551
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,400
Michael!
552
00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:55,250
Popping Jackson!
553
00:30:55,950 --> 00:30:56,950
Hooray!
554
00:30:58,650 --> 00:30:59,650
Beyonce,
555
00:31:00,830 --> 00:31:03,410
what you did was outrageous.
556
00:31:03,870 --> 00:31:06,250
There was the slightest doubt he wasn't
mine. You should have told me from the
557
00:31:06,250 --> 00:31:08,290
start. I always wanted him to be yours,
though, Mike.
558
00:31:08,570 --> 00:31:09,930
Why? Because I'll give you more
handouts?
559
00:31:10,250 --> 00:31:11,550
No, because you'll be a better dad.
560
00:31:12,950 --> 00:31:13,950
You're nice.
561
00:31:16,330 --> 00:31:20,150
Right, well, we need to make a proper
arrangement, a proper routine, so that
562
00:31:20,150 --> 00:31:21,230
and Stella can have him, OK?
563
00:31:21,550 --> 00:31:22,550
Fine by me.
564
00:31:22,670 --> 00:31:23,670
Oh.
565
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,200
There's something else we've got to do.
Go on.
566
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,620
We've got to go register the birth.
567
00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:27,639
Yeah, of course.
568
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,520
I've chosen a middle name. It's
Jermaine.
569
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,380
Jackson Jermaine Jackson?
570
00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:38,840
I'm kidding. No, I thought it should be
Michael, after his dad's like... Jackson
571
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:39,840
Michael Jackson.
572
00:31:41,140 --> 00:31:42,880
That boy's going to get so ribbed at
school.
573
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:45,840
Cheers, Jacko.
574
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,120
Cheers.
575
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:51,620
Got there in the end, didn't we?
576
00:31:56,979 --> 00:31:58,720
Michael. That was Luke.
577
00:31:59,380 --> 00:32:00,440
Rob's come round.
578
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,280
Everything is fine. Oh, thank God.
579
00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:04,540
Thank God.
580
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:29,750
The train on platform four is the 1137
to Middlesbrough.
581
00:32:30,010 --> 00:32:32,850
This train will depart in seven minutes.
582
00:32:34,790 --> 00:32:39,990
The train on platform four is the 1137
to Middlesbrough.
583
00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:42,850
I told you to keep an eye on it, you
donut!
584
00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:23,830
He's suffocating me.
585
00:33:24,730 --> 00:33:26,890
Disgusting. I cannot believe my eyes.
586
00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:31,530
Ivan, I'm not coming with you.
587
00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:33,650
I've just come to say goodbye.
588
00:33:36,570 --> 00:33:41,850
No matter how much Carl annoys me, or
makes stupid jokes, or stands on my feet
589
00:33:41,850 --> 00:33:45,430
when we dance, he loves me.
590
00:33:47,830 --> 00:33:49,010
And we got Genevieve.
591
00:33:50,190 --> 00:33:51,610
I just couldn't do it to him.
592
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,840
He gave me a refund on the ticket, by
the way.
593
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,680
Thank you.
594
00:34:06,220 --> 00:34:07,660
Tell me one thing, Nadine.
595
00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:10,820
Did you ever love me?
596
00:34:12,699 --> 00:34:13,699
Did I ever?
597
00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:15,500
I still do.
598
00:34:16,100 --> 00:34:17,120
I always will.
599
00:34:25,389 --> 00:34:26,909
Got a big spiral coming through.
600
00:34:55,179 --> 00:34:56,500
Look out, more visitors.
601
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:58,400
You got here quickly.
602
00:34:58,740 --> 00:35:00,760
Yeah. Michael's just parked in the car.
603
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,200
How's he doing?
604
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,920
Please don't talk about me like I'm not
in the room. Oh, he's doing all right,
605
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:07,920
then. Okay.
606
00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:10,500
I think we could all do with stretching
our legs.
607
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,200
Stella, we'll look after you for five
minutes.
608
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:15,360
We've drunk that much coffee, I tell
you.
609
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,760
I've seen you looking slightly more
handsome.
610
00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:32,340
But only slightly.
611
00:35:36,820 --> 00:35:39,140
Rob. You and Michael are getting
married.
612
00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:41,120
What is it with you?
613
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:42,760
How did you know?
614
00:35:43,580 --> 00:35:45,800
You're wearing an engagement ring, for
starters.
615
00:35:48,140 --> 00:35:49,140
Anyway, I approve.
616
00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:51,620
I think he's a thoroughly decent chap.
617
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,440
And he won't stand for any of your
nonsense.
618
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:56,080
Oh, you.
619
00:35:59,990 --> 00:36:01,870
I've just got to go into the chat. Do
you mind waiting outside?
620
00:36:02,210 --> 00:36:03,350
It won't be long. Of course.
621
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,660
Hey, Suzanne, you want to be talking
with a Welsh accent by the time you
622
00:36:29,660 --> 00:36:30,359
for Canada?
623
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,820
Oh, it's a lovely cottage, my. Maybe you
should live there permanently, like.
624
00:36:34,220 --> 00:36:36,480
You'd start to actually babysit us,
aren't you? Oh, my God.
625
00:36:36,740 --> 00:36:39,660
Promise me you'll bring them to Canada
soon.
626
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,980
There's so much for our kids to do out
there.
627
00:36:42,380 --> 00:36:45,600
When you say kids, if you're including
Luke and I, because he's the biggest kid
628
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,720
in them all. Yeah, he wouldn't be in
playing with Jack. He's so competitive.
629
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,040
I know.
630
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,280
How long will I love you?
631
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:55,980
Long as I...
632
00:37:06,579 --> 00:37:11,480
As long as seasons need to
633
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:16,000
follow their plan.
634
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,020
As long as you want me to.
635
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,580
And longer by far.
636
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:49,660
How long will I hold you?
637
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,300
As long as your father told you.
638
00:39:11,630 --> 00:39:13,690
Hey, Bart, maybe she's changed her mind.
639
00:39:14,030 --> 00:39:15,090
Shut up, Carl.
640
00:39:15,450 --> 00:39:18,750
Well, no, he might have a pint. I mean,
she's always been a bit flirty, that
641
00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:19,750
one.
642
00:39:19,850 --> 00:39:20,850
Sorry.
643
00:39:23,930 --> 00:39:25,990
Got to be held up.
644
00:39:27,850 --> 00:39:29,750
Jesus, you look... What?
645
00:39:31,550 --> 00:39:32,550
Beautiful.
646
00:39:34,930 --> 00:39:35,930
So do you.
647
00:39:37,550 --> 00:39:38,550
I do, don't I?
648
00:39:39,790 --> 00:39:42,430
Tell myself, take my time.
649
00:39:42,930 --> 00:39:46,550
Yeah. Put the brakes on my brain.
650
00:39:48,110 --> 00:39:52,010
Wrap me up, spin me round, spit me out.
651
00:39:53,490 --> 00:39:54,490
I,
652
00:39:55,850 --> 00:40:02,610
Michael Matthew Jackson, know of no
lawful cause or impediment why I should
653
00:40:02,610 --> 00:40:06,210
be joined in matrimony with you, Stella
Lucy Morris.
654
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:18,560
I, Stella Lucy Morris... Know of no...
Hang on a
655
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,560
minute. Thing is, there is something.
656
00:40:21,220 --> 00:40:25,580
Stella? I mean, it's not a lawful
impediment or nothing. I just don't
657
00:40:25,580 --> 00:40:27,540
can marry you if I don't tell you what
it is.
658
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:35,160
It'd be, um... I don't know, dishonest,
somehow.
659
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,980
Stella, for God's sake, just, uh... Just
say.
660
00:40:49,609 --> 00:40:50,609
Fucking hell!
661
00:40:50,930 --> 00:40:51,930
What?
662
00:40:52,230 --> 00:40:56,150
I only just found out myself this
morning. I'm in just as much shock as
663
00:40:56,450 --> 00:40:57,770
I thought you were on the change.
664
00:41:00,110 --> 00:41:06,070
Look, the thing is, I know I'm a bit old
to have a baby, and I will understand
665
00:41:06,070 --> 00:41:09,410
if you want to have a think about it and
delay the wedding.
666
00:41:10,450 --> 00:41:13,590
It's just, I really want to have it.
Stella.
667
00:41:14,870 --> 00:41:18,150
That's the best news I could ever
possibly be given.
668
00:41:19,750 --> 00:41:23,230
Now will you please shut up and marry
me?
669
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:48,460
There we are. Can you believe it? I go
all these years as an only child, and
670
00:41:48,460 --> 00:41:50,320
then I get two siblings in the space of
a year.
671
00:41:50,820 --> 00:41:51,880
Oh, my God, I just realised.
672
00:41:52,240 --> 00:41:56,820
Your baby is going to be Sophie's auntie
or uncle, and it'll be younger than
673
00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:58,480
Sophie. Oh, that's mad.
674
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:02,260
Yeah, it is, isn't it? You'll have your
hands full, it's all I'll say, but...
675
00:42:02,260 --> 00:42:05,620
Auntie Brenda, do you think just for
once in your life you can see the
676
00:42:05,620 --> 00:42:06,439
side of things?
677
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,300
Well, now, where would the fun be in
that, Michael Jackson?
678
00:42:10,860 --> 00:42:13,620
I'm going to see where Nards have got
to. She's been gone ages.
679
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:14,900
All right.
680
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,500
I'm so jealous. Barley for God's sake. I
know.
681
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,160
Make sure you come back. We're all
bloody useless without you.
682
00:42:23,740 --> 00:42:26,000
Don't worry, Stel. I look after him.
683
00:42:26,620 --> 00:42:27,620
Me too.
684
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:28,980
Come on. Oh,
685
00:42:29,980 --> 00:42:31,180
my babies.
686
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:33,680
Stel.
687
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:35,480
We really ought to get going.
688
00:42:35,860 --> 00:42:37,140
Yes, husband, yes.
689
00:42:40,910 --> 00:42:45,190
Don't lift any heavy bags. Oh, look at
him. Only been married five minutes.
690
00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:46,310
already botting me around.
691
00:42:50,670 --> 00:42:51,670
Nads!
692
00:42:51,790 --> 00:42:53,010
How are you doing, babes?
693
00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:55,310
Stella and Michael are off in a bit.
694
00:42:58,750 --> 00:42:59,750
Nads!
695
00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:25,150
So.
696
00:43:54,540 --> 00:44:01,020
Once I believed that it was me It
697
00:44:01,020 --> 00:44:05,640
would come with rocket bells and poetry
698
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:12,000
But with me and you Wait, who did that?
699
00:44:12,220 --> 00:44:15,540
Nadine? Oh, don't know. Oh, nearly
forgot.
700
00:44:16,260 --> 00:44:17,260
Ready?
701
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,600
You and I are my colleague for this one,
aren't you? Bye -bye.
702
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:37,860
Triton, shall we go on honeymoon with
the Jackson?
703
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:39,760
Yes, please.
50265
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