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The following program contains strong
language.
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My family has to come first.
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Then you leave me not. You're dismissed.
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Hello. I'd like you to meet Suzanne.
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00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:21,530
We reinstate Auntie Brenda as Mayor of
Ponterbury with immediate effect.
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00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:23,210
Is she aware of how you feel?
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She believes I hate her.
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I'm on custody. I'm taking you to court.
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You want to fight?
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Bring it on, old man.
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All right?
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Yep. Just measuring my marrow.
13
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Curse of the vegetable garden.
Everything sounds like an innuendo.
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I've only just come out here, by the
way. Been on the phone all day. OK.
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00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,590
Tried every law firm in Cardiff, but
nothing's doing.
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I'd look further afield, but if I want
to be around for the baby, then...
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Anything from Beyoncé?
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No. She won't even take my calls, let
alone let me see Jackson.
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I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine who
specialises in custody cases. He's
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already sent a letter.
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Oh, well.
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Must you get things moving?
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Now, are you going to get changed?
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00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,430
Any Rob and Susanna beer in a minute?
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Sure. Just going to put this prize
winner to bed.
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00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:36,490
Prize winner!
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00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:38,310
You'll be lucky, Michael Jackson.
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Aunty Brenda, I know you're an expert in
a wide variety of topics, but I didn't
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realise that extended to summer
squashes.
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George, the butcher, have won the
Ponteberry flour and produce show every
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since 1989.
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I'm not saying how.
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I'm not one to make slanderful
accusations.
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Fair enough.
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Bribery, that's how.
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That and the fact that he is very good
at growing marrow.
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00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:03,960
Yeah, well, so is Michael.
38
00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:05,220
Look at that.
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Aw. Like a marrow, only smaller.
40
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,700
How was your day, my love?
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:22,860
Oh, I've been rushed off my feet,
dishing out advice to the poor and
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00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:28,620
that Michael Jackson, unemployed, going
for custody of a love child, and now
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making the biggest mistake of his life
by entering a marrow against George the
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Butcher. The fool.
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I'd like to wipe the smile off George's
face.
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00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:45,780
And not just because he tried to defrock
me as mayor, although that is a
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contributory factor.
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Maybe I could help to wipe the smile off
his face.
49
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,280
What do you mean?
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00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,880
Who is he again?
51
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,620
Kerwin Collins.
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Famous poet, apparently.
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Never heard of him. No, me.
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Buried on a patch on Palmares.
55
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,210
God, there's loads to do.
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00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,350
There's nearly half a sex. I promised
Jack I'd be back to tuck him in.
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00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:10,950
Bobby Giffins, Larry Morgan.
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In by you.
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00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:14,950
I have news.
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00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,029
Good news.
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00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,410
I have today a new job accepted at the
Conservatoire du Morte.
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00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:21,370
The Conservatoire du Morte?
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00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,770
The most prestigious undertaker's
academy in the world?
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00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,690
Based in Middlesbrough?
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00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:28,490
You must be delighted.
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00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:31,070
Yes, my heart soars like an eagle on the
wind.
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00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,180
That's great, Ivan. Congratulations.
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00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,780
You took my advice, then?
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00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,680
Making a new start and moving away from
Nadine?
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00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,780
This concerns Nadine Bevan not.
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00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,000
I have for many years wished to work at
the Conservatoire de Morte.
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00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,900
Also, they say Middlesbrough is
wonderful at this time of year.
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00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,280
Indeed they do.
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00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:59,860
So, who's going to manage this place for
you, then, while you're gone? I know
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00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,819
not.
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00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:04,700
Perhaps someone who understands the
industry and has a CB as impeccable as
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00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,700
French?
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00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,960
I know you're rushed off your feet, so
why don't I look after our famous poet
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00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:10,739
for you?
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00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:11,740
I'm more than capable.
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00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,220
That would remove a load from my
shoulder. Also, to tell the truth, I
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00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,220
nothing of poetry.
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Apart from Pam Ayres.
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00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,720
That's a beauty and no mistake.
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00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,620
Like a green Hindenburg.
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00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,540
Did you want something, Auntie Brenda?
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Only to admire the perfect form of your
marrow.
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00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:40,460
And to give you, as they do say in
America, a heads -up about some council
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00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:41,460
business.
90
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:47,640
Which is? I'm proposing, and this is big
with a capital B, that we change the
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00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,220
garden waste bins from green to red.
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00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,380
What? No.
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00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,940
You know how I feel about refuse bin
colouring. Really? I had no idea.
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00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:01,460
You will change those colours over my
dead body.
95
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,420
That's the price I'm willing to pay.
96
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,900
This is a scandal.
97
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,900
We're so sorry for you, Lost.
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00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,180
Your brother was a great man.
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00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,200
Indeed he was.
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00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,500
The finest poet of his generation.
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00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,440
I take it you're familiar with his
writing?
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Yes, of course.
103
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It's so important to me that he's laid
to rest by people who embrace his work.
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Definitely.
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00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:39,150
So is there anything in particular you'd
like in the funeral service?
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Readings of his poems, obviously.
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Like some of his early work, perhaps?
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00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,610
He burned his early poems.
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Everybody knows that.
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Well, yes, his early poems he did.
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Then how about something from his later
period?
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Yes.
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00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:02,290
That's what I was thinking too.
114
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,530
And did you have any thoughts on music?
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00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:07,930
I thought that would be obvious.
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00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:13,510
He writes about his musical taste in the
poem I Love the Beatles.
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00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,230
The Beatles it is then?
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00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:17,450
No.
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00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:20,630
The title was ironic. He hated the
Beatles.
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00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,820
I thought you knew his work.
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00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:28,300
We do. Of course. Just tell me that
you're planning on involving Sian
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in the service.
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00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,760
Definitely. I'll just get her details.
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He never left her side.
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Till now.
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00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:49,240
How long did he follow you for? Up
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00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,720
the hill and back again.
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00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:55,320
I thought, well, if the ranting don't
kill him, the exercise probably will.
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00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,540
What? Oh, don't say you feel sorry for
him now.
130
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,160
No, it's just good to see you laugh
again.
131
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,420
You used to laugh a lot.
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00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:07,500
I laugh plenty, thank you.
133
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,740
I know.
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00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:14,140
I was just thinking, well, hoping that
maybe we could go back to how things
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00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,440
to be back in the day.
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00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,640
I'll think about it.
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00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,240
Did you say... I said, I'll think about
it.
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00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:31,680
Sian Llywelyn Ap Morfydd was the lover
and muse of Welsh poet Cerwyn Curadog
139
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Colin. Her untimely death was a major
influence on his writing, in particular
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the poem Death Dark Tunnel, Everybody
Dies and She's Dead, She's Dead, Dear
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She's Dead.
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Oh, I bet he was a laugh on New Year's
Eve.
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00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,260
Right, you get us a book of his poems
after thinking of a colour scheme for
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funeral. Did he do any poems about
colours?
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Black, black, all is black.
146
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,750
Oh, well, that's narrowed it down.
147
00:07:57,430 --> 00:08:00,030
Bob, when's Ivan starting his new job?
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00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:03,630
Oh, your guess is as good as mine. I did
try to ask him this morning, but he was
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00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:05,330
off to the produce show with his
wreaths.
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00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:09,730
Be awful if he didn't pick you and he
put some stranger in charge.
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00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,670
Oh, tell me about it.
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00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,530
Undertaking's the only thing I'm any
good at.
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00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:20,030
I've tried image consultancy, security,
guardian of the well, no celebrity
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reflexology.
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00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:22,730
It's not funny.
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00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,570
You try massaging Keith Chegwin's feet.
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They'll wake up screaming.
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00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:35,690
Right. I can't promise this will be any
good, but the recipe's supposed to be
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easy to follow, so if it's rubbish, you
can blame Jamie Oliver.
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00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,409
You might want to get drunk first. Are
you?
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00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:43,390
It looks lovely, Stella. What is it?
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00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:45,410
Moroccan chicken tagine.
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Oh, that's posh. Oh, no, we eat this all
the time.
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00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:49,290
All right, Michael.
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00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:54,310
The sauce has got a bit of wine in it,
but otherwise it's low -fat, so it's
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for... Well, you know.
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00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,550
Those of us awaiting life -or -death
operations.
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00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:02,350
Any news on that?
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00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,750
Um, no.
170
00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:07,670
Oh, Rob is a man of few words.
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00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,610
Sometimes I could strangle him.
Sometimes she tries.
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00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,390
We're still waiting for the new
consultant to give us a date.
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00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:19,450
The delay is not good, but hopefully
we'll hear soon and then we'll go to
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London.
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00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,870
See? Wasn't so hard, was it?
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00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:28,330
Stella, this is superb.
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00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,490
It really is. Did you seriously make
this?
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00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:34,970
I think there's a compliment in there
somewhere. It's always the same.
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00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,370
They're sweet as kittens when you fuck
me.
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00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,920
Then three months down the line, you end
up worrying about it going to take out
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the trash.
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00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:45,920
Actually, we had a row when we first
met. We sort of crashed into each other
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00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,360
shared a beautiful moment of road rage.
Oh, that is so cute.
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00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:50,960
See, told you.
185
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,480
And how did you and Rob meet?
186
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,320
Oh, well, didn't Rob's construction
company build a new wing on your
187
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,420
And you ended up arguing about the roof
tiles. So he took you out to dinner to
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00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:02,420
try and talk you round.
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00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:07,460
I have fluke.
190
00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:12,090
Well, he told me, actually, so I
probably got the details wrong.
191
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:14,370
No, that's exactly how it happened.
192
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,550
Valid? Anyone?
193
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:41,050
than a Wales -England rugby
international, and just as ugly.
194
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:46,210
Now, judging I've started in a few of
the categories, but the results aren't
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00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:50,370
till three, so there's plenty of time to
get picked on some lovely homemade
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00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,370
wine. Oi!
197
00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:53,810
Quinnell! Watch our mouthy one.
198
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,049
Fair play.
199
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:59,890
Just to repeat, results aren't till
three, so there's plenty of time to have
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00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:03,870
drink of some fucking lovely homemade
wine.
201
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,280
People do think Pansies is soft because
of the name, like.
202
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,300
But they are the hardest flower there
is.
203
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,020
They survived a nuclear war along with
cockroaches and mollusks.
204
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,540
And my mate Kenny has built his own
shelter.
205
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,880
Bet they won't survive a pint of this.
206
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120
I told you.
207
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,940
It's the new batch. It ain't half as
strong.
208
00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,620
What a fine -looking specimen.
209
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,900
It's got to be in with a chance there.
210
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,980
I thought you said it was too small.
211
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,120
Must have been a chick of the light.
212
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:44,480
Yeah, but George the Butcher isn't here
yet. Oh, well then, perhaps fate is on
213
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,500
your side today, Michael Jackson.
214
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,800
Have you got hay fever or something?
215
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,900
Ask me no boss names, I'll tell you no
what you call.
216
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,040
Ooh,
217
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,160
here we are. Here we are!
218
00:11:58,140 --> 00:12:00,300
Do you think you'll be like her when you
grow up?
219
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:02,120
I really hope not.
220
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,580
Right, I'd better be heading off.
221
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,200
If the pub's quiet, I'll try and finish
early. Come back and watch you win first
222
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,200
prize.
223
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,320
Good luck.
224
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,700
I must say, that's wonderful.
225
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,200
What is it?
226
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,740
Apricot infused with brandy blended with
a summer compote. And marinated in a
227
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:23,760
troker of sugar.
228
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:27,420
Sorry, what? She means striker. It means
a blend of three things.
229
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:28,740
I know what I mean.
230
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,180
Anyway, it's very good.
231
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:31,860
Well done.
232
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,140
It's not even my first language and I'm
correcting you. It's quite funny,
233
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,180
really.
234
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,820
Or not funny at all.
235
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,319
Need a lift?
236
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,320
No, you're all right.
237
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,440
Just heading into work to do the
exercise.
238
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,840
I could do with the company.
239
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,180
It's literally two minutes.
240
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,280
What a lovely two minutes it'll be.
241
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,920
Thanks again for last night.
242
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,600
Fun, wasn't it?
243
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,000
And Suzanne's lovely.
244
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,280
Very, what's the word?
245
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,560
Very Rob.
246
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,720
Meaning?
247
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,380
Meaning you always land on your feet.
248
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,020
What? I'm being nice.
249
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,060
I'm glad you've come over.
250
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,900
Someone needs to sort you out.
251
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,740
Where are you going, anyway?
252
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,540
Oh, I just dropped her off at Luke's.
They're taking the kids to the park.
253
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,760
It's nice she wants to spend time with
them. They're very lucky.
254
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,540
Well, I always land on my feet.
255
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,300
Right. Thanks for the lift.
256
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,980
So, you know, we've been waiting for a
date for the surgery.
257
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,960
Oh, don't tell me they've changed their
mind.
258
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,500
No, it's a week today.
259
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,040
I heard this morning.
260
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,760
Oh, God, you must be so relieved.
261
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,060
Yeah. I mean, I can think of a hundred
other things I'd rather be doing, but...
262
00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,299
You watch.
263
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,240
It'll be over before you know it. You
can start running marathons again.
264
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,260
Look,
265
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,160
I'm really sorry, but I've got to go.
266
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,560
Sorry. What are you doing?
267
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,620
I meant to stop my shift in ten minutes.
268
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,120
Oh, come on. Skive off work. Live a
little.
269
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:25,900
Having better?
270
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:26,979
I haven't lost.
271
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:27,980
Lost. Lost.
272
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,960
Have you an interest in funeral wreaths?
273
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,620
No. Funeral wreaths will always remind
me of death.
274
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,360
Well, I'll be off.
275
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,200
Soon I must leave Pontybury.
276
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:49,260
What?
277
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,700
I am to move to the historic town of
Middlesborough.
278
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,940
Don't know why you're telling me.
279
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,320
I mean nothing to you. And vice versa,
I'm sure.
280
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:28,329
Isn't it beautiful?
281
00:15:28,330 --> 00:15:29,330
Er, yeah.
282
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:31,170
You don't remember.
283
00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:32,670
Shame on you.
284
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,650
October half -term, 1986.
285
00:15:35,590 --> 00:15:40,530
We cycled up here, I got a puncture,
missed the last bus, spent the night in
286
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:42,790
pub, and then... Yeah, all right, I
remember now.
287
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,170
Well, I thought it'd be fun to come back
here and have lunch.
288
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:48,910
Rob Morgan.
289
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:50,410
Having fun.
290
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,950
Come on.
291
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:53,430
Walk will do us good.
292
00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:55,650
Hang on a minute.
293
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,200
Oh, don't you just love the country air?
294
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,080
It's the low alcohols, isn't it? Lower.
295
00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:04,560
But still with sun and floral overtones.
296
00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,560
And it's great for wind. I don't have
wind.
297
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,800
You will have.
298
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:18,200
I don't believe it.
299
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:19,580
Clem Draper.
300
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:20,860
What are they, Pa?
301
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
Chief Baxter.
302
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,000
Fax. The axe.
303
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,280
Bash! No way!
304
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,920
I haven't seen you since Mason's Arms at
Twitch, 1978.
305
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,180
Oh, bloody hell! Oh, those were the
days.
306
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,740
Pure rock and roll.
307
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:37,980
Delighted to see you.
308
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,280
Signed with them a couple of weeks back.
Nothing serious.
309
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,080
Doing what you love, though. Aye.
310
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,840
Still skint, mind.
311
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:45,540
So what about you? What are you doing
here?
312
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,380
Got a stall.
313
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,010
Fertiliser. That's great, man. It's not
what you call glamorous, but it's
314
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,690
steady, you know. Will Keith Baxter
please return to his side?
315
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,670
He's got somebody who would like to talk
to about... Ertelizer.
316
00:16:57,890 --> 00:16:58,890
...pig shit.
317
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:02,090
Right, well, that's me then.
318
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:04,570
Nice to see you again.
319
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:05,670
And you.
320
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,770
Keep on rocking, you two pal.
321
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:22,180
Closed down a year or so back. Ah, there
we are then.
322
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,480
Best we head in home.
323
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,720
I think it's locked, Rob.
324
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,820
I won't tell if you want.
325
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,040
And pansies are such a resilient flower.
326
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:40,260
The lady even survived a nuclear war,
along with mollusks and your mate Kenny,
327
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,560
as you said. Look, I've really got to
go. The judging's about to start.
328
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,650
Mike, can I have a word?
329
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,530
So you're talking to me now? Oh, I don't
know. I argue, OK? Not in front of
330
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:57,070
Jack's head. Stop your... Sorry.
331
00:17:58,890 --> 00:17:59,890
Neither do I.
332
00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,009
Hello, little man.
333
00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,670
I got the letter from your solicitor.
334
00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:07,750
About the custody thing.
335
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,330
Sorry, but that's what I think's best.
336
00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,030
For all of us.
337
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:13,310
No, I'm sorry for not being honest with
you.
338
00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:15,889
What do you mean?
339
00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:16,890
See, the thing is...
340
00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:20,219
Jackson isn't you well?
341
00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:21,780
What?
342
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:24,360
I only said you were the dad because
you're loaded.
343
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,400
You should never let it go on this long.
344
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:38,620
I think I'm that stupid.
345
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,540
You're only doing this to stop me
applying for custody. What?
346
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:43,100
No, it's true.
347
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,180
Really? Yeah, because your track record
on telling the truth is great.
348
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,660
Oh, oh, my God, I am not lying!
349
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,580
You are not Jackson's father, OK?
350
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,420
Well, if I'm not his father, who is?
351
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:58,920
Cackers.
352
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,800
Fucking hell.
353
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:07,220
Cackers? Well, how can you be so sure? A
girl just knows, OK? Don't make me
354
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,220
spell it out.
355
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:11,000
So is there anything else you want this
lot to know, or can I go? I don't
356
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:11,819
believe you.
357
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,860
I want a paternity test.
358
00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:14,660
Beyoncé.
359
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:23,260
And the winner is... George the Butcher.
360
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,420
Would you believe it?
361
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,000
Some little bugger stole what they
thought was my marrow.
362
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,280
But that was just my safety marrow.
363
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,320
My prize winners are kept under lock and
key and are only picked by the light of
364
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,320
the full moon.
365
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,580
Some people, eh, Auntie Brenda?
366
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:53,310
What was up here?
367
00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,950
Don't tell me you've forgotten the
bedrooms.
368
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,830
A little goldmine, this place.
369
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,750
We should buy it, then.
370
00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:07,190
We might do.
371
00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:10,290
Tighten it up a bit. Put Luke in tight.
372
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:11,810
I can even run it myself.
373
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,570
You could help.
374
00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:17,830
I know how to pull a pint press, but
what do I know about running a pub?
375
00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:20,290
In fact, what do you know about running
a pub?
376
00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:21,690
Just a thought.
377
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:24,730
We're friends, Rob.
378
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:26,949
Nothing more.
379
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,070
Friends don't kiss each other.
380
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,630
Oh, now, look. Friends don't leave long,
answerful messages saying that they
381
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:35,470
love you, but not in that way. This
isn't fair. Even though you can hear in
382
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,790
their voice that it is in that way.
383
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,810
The truth is, Stella,
384
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,300
I don't think you and I can be just
friends.
385
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960
I should have been us.
386
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,900
See you now, boy. Grow up.
387
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,620
Going on holiday. All that stuff we
never did.
388
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,420
Cut the self -pity. It really doesn't
suit you.
389
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,380
Stella. No.
390
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,620
Don't say it. I need to be with you,
Stella, for the rest of my life, however
391
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:23,620
short that is.
392
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:24,780
Oh, you're not playing that card.
393
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:26,180
It's not a card.
394
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:28,960
Sorry.
395
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,080
What are you suggesting, then?
396
00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:38,060
We move here.
397
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,220
Run a pub. Get the bloody pub.
398
00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,460
I'll go anywhere and do anything to be
with you.
399
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:47,500
Ponterbury, Canada, Pimber, Sodden too.
400
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:48,700
And what about Suzanne?
401
00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,100
She's not you. And Michael?
402
00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:51,460
What about Michael?
403
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,760
He's not me.
404
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:03,860
I'm not doing this.
405
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,200
Stella. We are not doing this.
406
00:22:10,070 --> 00:22:14,070
You think if you and me had got
together, it would have been some big
407
00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:15,470
romance, but it wouldn't.
408
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:19,470
I'd have got fed up of washing your
socks, and you'd have yelled at me for
409
00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:22,910
loading the dishwasher wrong. I might
not. Or a million and one other boring
410
00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:25,890
domestic things. Well, there's only one
way to find out, isn't there? Oh, for
411
00:22:25,890 --> 00:22:27,890
fuck's sake, Rob, it's not going to
happen.
412
00:22:29,270 --> 00:22:31,930
We had a chance, and we chose not to
take it. Oh, come on, Stella. And you
413
00:22:31,930 --> 00:22:35,110
can't, on a whim, decide you want to
make a go of things again. What do you
414
00:22:35,110 --> 00:22:37,610
mean, on a whim? Because it's too late.
We both left it too late.
415
00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:42,640
And you're with Suzanne now, and I'm
with Michael. And not because he's
416
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,260
best, but because I love him.
417
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,080
I know.
418
00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:57,040
Remember when we'd been going out for
six months?
419
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,440
You made me that little silver heart.
420
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,600
God, yeah, you remember that?
421
00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:04,260
Well, I kept it.
422
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,760
Did you?
423
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,690
And I carry it with me.
424
00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:10,730
In here.
425
00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:16,450
Because you're always going to be a part
of my life, Rob.
426
00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:19,890
And I am always going to love you.
427
00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:24,770
And that doesn't change how I feel about
Michael, because what me and Michael
428
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:25,870
have got is so different.
429
00:23:28,390 --> 00:23:30,010
We've got Luke, you and me.
430
00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:33,910
And we've got our story.
431
00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:36,630
We just haven't got a future, Bob.
432
00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:37,890
but we have.
433
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:42,610
Because you were so wrong when you said
you and me couldn't be friends. We can
434
00:23:42,610 --> 00:23:47,870
be the best friends on this planet
because I am so loyal to you.
435
00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:53,110
And I will kill anyone who ever hurts
you, including Suzanne, although I think
436
00:23:53,110 --> 00:23:54,890
that's unlikely because she's absolutely
besotted.
437
00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:58,010
Also, I think she looks like she might
beat me in a fight.
438
00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:03,210
I know you're scared about next week.
439
00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:06,800
It's going to be all right, sweetheart.
440
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:28,440
And tears of death are always willing to
fall upon the hell and killing.
441
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,500
Are all his poems about death?
442
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,260
No, no, there's one beautiful little
bunny rabbit called Hoppy.
443
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,320
Who dies makes him a toast.
444
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:43,920
You have not finished the arranging of
the poet's funeral?
445
00:24:44,260 --> 00:24:47,060
Yeah, we get in there. It's taken us all
day to find the flowers.
446
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,860
Roses of black?
447
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,320
Cadwyn's favourite colour.
448
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,140
The rose of black is very expensive.
449
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:56,920
Yeah. And not in the budget. The extra
from our profit comes.
450
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,960
It's only a few quid. We are not a case
of charity.
451
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,850
Have you finished the order of service?
452
00:25:04,110 --> 00:25:07,850
We're just about to. Just about? The
funeral is tomorrow and the printers,
453
00:25:07,850 --> 00:25:08,950
are closing at six.
454
00:25:09,330 --> 00:25:11,690
I've rang them and they've said they're
happy to work late.
455
00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:14,830
For a few extra quid. What?
456
00:25:15,530 --> 00:25:18,610
No! No, no, no! This is unacceptable!
457
00:25:19,450 --> 00:25:20,450
Ivan?
458
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:25,910
Have you been drinking?
459
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,150
Again? That is not the question.
460
00:25:30,410 --> 00:25:31,790
Well, it's a question.
461
00:25:32,510 --> 00:25:37,750
I have funeraled around the world for
princes and for paupers.
462
00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:44,630
For stars on stage and screen. Next
week, I am to arrange an open casket
463
00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:47,790
for a 92 -year -old queen of drag.
464
00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:50,770
I do not need your help or advice.
465
00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:52,110
Now, go!
466
00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,870
I will sort out this mess.
467
00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:57,800
Mess? What mess? Not another word.
468
00:25:58,020 --> 00:26:00,220
But it's so unfair. No. You're being
unreasonable.
469
00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:02,200
Silence. Let me work.
470
00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:17,060
Young at heart, yet what a start.
471
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:20,320
Old before their time.
472
00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:25,460
They married young for love at last.
473
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,660
was their only crime.
474
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:37,080
How come I love them now? How come I
love them more?
475
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,240
He's good, isn't he?
476
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,520
You a fella?
477
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,060
He's not my fella.
478
00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:43,620
My mistake.
479
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,040
You're so young.
480
00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:49,200
A lot of people think the pansies are so
clever. Go away. Roger that.
481
00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:53,820
You're so young.
482
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,460
Hello. Well, am I glad to see you.
483
00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,680
Oh, sweetheart, you didn't win.
484
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,020
No, I came second.
485
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,520
It's just a stupid marrow composition.
It's not that bad.
486
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,140
Bad is what Beyonce told me this
afternoon.
487
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:45,020
You're so young at heart.
488
00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:56,840
Yes, for tomorrow, the order of
services.
489
00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:00,440
No, I will not pay extra.
490
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,460
I do not care.
491
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,320
Just print and deliver.
492
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:05,920
I send now.
493
00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:20,300
Go ahead.
494
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:22,500
Go ahead.
495
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:25,240
Go on.
496
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,460
Oh, what a night.
497
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:30,800
Shoot.
498
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,160
Keith was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
499
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,940
Said he was going to quit his job and
get the band back together. I said, no
500
00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:42,940
way.
501
00:28:43,380 --> 00:28:45,400
I'm sticking here with my Brenda.
502
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,520
See how things play out. He was all
like, nah, man, let's just hit the road.
503
00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:02,040
I said, no way, pal.
504
00:29:06,540 --> 00:29:08,920
Oliver, how can you leave her again?
505
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:16,760
There are many, many crazy things that
will keep me loving
506
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:17,760
you.
507
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:24,300
And with your permission, may I list a
few?
508
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,100
The way you wear your hat.
509
00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:32,460
The way you...
510
00:29:48,950 --> 00:29:49,950
I mean,
511
00:29:51,610 --> 00:29:54,790
there's no way she can say for sure that
Kekus is the father, even if she did
512
00:29:54,790 --> 00:29:55,790
sleep with him.
513
00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:58,230
I mean, I was right to ask for a
paternity test, wasn't I?
514
00:29:58,490 --> 00:29:59,490
I don't know.
515
00:30:00,050 --> 00:30:01,790
What do the rest of Ponterbury think?
516
00:30:02,930 --> 00:30:05,370
Yeah, probably not the best forum to
announce that.
517
00:30:05,590 --> 00:30:07,010
God, it's such a mess, isn't it?
518
00:30:07,650 --> 00:30:09,930
Actually, don't answer that. Just say,
it'll all be fine.
519
00:30:10,150 --> 00:30:11,150
It'll all be fine.
520
00:30:14,470 --> 00:30:15,470
Michael?
521
00:30:16,390 --> 00:30:17,390
Yeah?
522
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:23,970
I've been having a little think today,
and there's something I want to talk to
523
00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:24,970
you about.
524
00:30:26,170 --> 00:30:27,170
Something important.
525
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,320
Namaste. There you go.
526
00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:01,820
Thanks.
527
00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:04,020
You want some more?
528
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,820
Is it locally sourced?
529
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:07,100
It's from the corner shop.
530
00:31:07,420 --> 00:31:09,140
Right. But is it fair trade?
531
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,020
I have no idea what that means.
532
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,560
I can do you some eggs, if you like.
533
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,360
Um... Actually, I'm vegan.
534
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,380
You eat chicken, though, don't you,
babe?
535
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,080
Only when my blood sugar's low.
536
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,420
You're a diabetic, ma 'am, and the
doctors didn't even spot it.
537
00:31:21,700 --> 00:31:25,420
Oh. The Western doctors didn't with
their corporate blinkers.
538
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:28,100
But, Stella, please, don't worry.
539
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,320
I'll pick up some quinoa later on from
one of your local shops.
540
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:34,480
Good luck with that.
541
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:39,940
I'm, er... I'm going to go and meditate
to Tali. I'm a bit out of balance.
542
00:31:46,660 --> 00:31:47,660
It's Harley.
543
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,880
It's Hindy, the butterfly.
544
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,680
I'm fleeing there.
545
00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:56,299
Emma, love.
546
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:57,840
You were going to ask me about Sonny and
you.
547
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,540
No, I was going to ask you about your
toast.
548
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,180
And then I was going to ask what the
hell you mean by telling me that Oak is
549
00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,119
your husband.
550
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,720
I mean, what happened with Sonny? I
thought you were going to make a go of
551
00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:13,840
We tried it for a while, but we soon
realised we'd come to the end of our
552
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:14,840
journey together.
553
00:32:15,130 --> 00:32:17,830
Oh, is that Orc throwing his voice?
554
00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:21,170
Orc isn't my husband in boring Western
terms.
555
00:32:21,950 --> 00:32:27,490
The monk that did the ceremony said our
spirits were entwined for eternity.
556
00:32:28,850 --> 00:32:29,930
Which I think's better.
557
00:32:30,590 --> 00:32:32,610
And when exactly did all this happen?
558
00:32:32,910 --> 00:32:33,889
That's not important.
559
00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:34,910
How long have you known him, Em?
560
00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:36,170
Three weeks.
561
00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:41,450
That's two thanks but no thanks from
people who said they'd consider me. I
562
00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:43,670
you anything Maria's behind all of this.
Give me a crappy reference.
563
00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:45,610
There's a cat here at Ticket.
564
00:32:46,330 --> 00:32:47,330
Hey.
565
00:32:47,850 --> 00:32:50,330
It's life's gift to settle challenges.
566
00:32:51,310 --> 00:32:55,350
The wings of a dove are stronger than
the swords of a thousand armies.
567
00:32:55,870 --> 00:32:56,870
Oh.
568
00:32:57,790 --> 00:32:59,730
Titali, where's my meditation cushion?
569
00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:01,810
In my rucksack under your iPad.
570
00:33:29,930 --> 00:33:30,930
Good morning, my sweet.
571
00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:32,710
I made you breakfast.
572
00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:34,130
Five minutes.
573
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,040
What's all this?
574
00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:08,840
It's been fun, Clem. It really has.
575
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,560
Really? But you're the proverbial
rolling stone and I'm a stick in the
576
00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:19,639
I don't want to spend my life telling
you what you should or shouldn't be
577
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,880
even if I could do so with uncanny
accuracy.
578
00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:25,159
But I want to be with you.
579
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,500
Last night Kiko was going on about going
back on the road with all expenses
580
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,600
paid. Mind, the guy's loaded.
581
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,179
But I still said no.
582
00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:36,179
In a heartbeat.
583
00:34:36,460 --> 00:34:38,199
It wasn't a heartbeat, Boot.
584
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,960
The two of you talked about it for over
an hour, laughing and joking.
585
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:46,820
What are you going to do, stat?
586
00:34:47,070 --> 00:34:52,630
I mean, yes, you'll have the prestige of
being married to a local celebrity
587
00:34:52,630 --> 00:34:58,250
slash political fire brand, but deep
down, you and me are as different as
588
00:34:58,250 --> 00:34:59,250
and cheesecake.
589
00:35:03,130 --> 00:35:08,110
If I were you, I'd go and see that Keith
Feller and have a chat.
590
00:35:23,530 --> 00:35:28,810
Last night, when we came home... Did we?
591
00:35:30,570 --> 00:35:31,650
No.
592
00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:34,890
Yeah.
593
00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:54,830
He's still not answering his phone.
Shall we just tell Reverend what's to
594
00:35:54,830 --> 00:35:58,170
started? You can't start a funeral
without an audit of service. We're not
595
00:35:58,170 --> 00:35:59,170
animal.
596
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,410
Oh!
597
00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:03,130
I have them here.
598
00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:06,350
I have just from the princess picked
them up, give these out for her.
599
00:36:07,330 --> 00:36:11,010
Right. All set. Ready to go? Just giving
out the audit of service.
600
00:36:11,290 --> 00:36:11,928
Thank goodness.
601
00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:14,690
To be honest, I don't know anything
about Kerwin Collins, so any
602
00:36:14,830 --> 00:36:15,629
glad to receive.
603
00:36:15,630 --> 00:36:16,850
Oh, my God!
604
00:36:18,270 --> 00:36:19,450
Ivan, did you check these?
605
00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:21,890
There was no time. Come, we must not
delay.
606
00:36:22,130 --> 00:36:25,050
Only I'm pretty sure Kerwin Collins
wasn't a 92 -year -old drag queen.
607
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,290
Why are you working up here?
608
00:36:30,650 --> 00:36:33,510
Well, I tried downstairs, but Oak
started telling me about ley lines.
609
00:36:34,410 --> 00:36:37,710
Anyway, I'm heading to Cardiff in a bit,
do some networking, try and drum up
610
00:36:37,710 --> 00:36:38,710
some work.
611
00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:40,570
I thought we could have dinner tonight.
612
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:42,710
You'll be back about eight -ish, won't
you?
613
00:36:43,010 --> 00:36:46,130
Hopefully. I've no idea who's going to
see me or when.
614
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,500
I just thought it'd be nice to, you
know, cut you off.
615
00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:55,220
Have a chat and stuff. I know. It's just
this custody case, when it comes to
616
00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:58,240
court, the first question the judge will
ask me will be about my finances. I can
617
00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,440
hardly say I'm unemployed, can I?
618
00:37:00,380 --> 00:37:03,360
What about what's -his -face, Al
-Khamadi? There's no point.
619
00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:06,940
Maria's contacted everyone I worked
with. Poured poison in their ears.
620
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,160
So tell them she's wrong.
621
00:37:08,340 --> 00:37:11,220
Well, it's not that easy. If it was, I'd
do it. Anyway, there's such a thing as
622
00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,220
professional pride.
623
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,320
OK.
624
00:37:15,020 --> 00:37:16,020
Oh, I'm sorry.
625
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,420
I'll be back for dinner.
626
00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:26,000
Sadly, Kerwin
627
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:30,540
is no longer with us. And that is very
sad indeed.
628
00:37:31,220 --> 00:37:35,640
But his memory lives on in some of his
best -remembered poems.
629
00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:42,980
Like, um... She's dead.
630
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,760
She's deaf!
631
00:37:46,350 --> 00:37:52,830
And of course... Helen Keller.
632
00:37:53,710 --> 00:37:54,970
Helen Keller.
633
00:37:56,190 --> 00:38:03,170
Anyway, we are blessed that Gwyneth, his
beloved sister, is here to
634
00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:08,170
read perhaps his most famous work, which
may be in the order of service.
635
00:38:09,990 --> 00:38:12,390
Bit of a mix -up there, sorry.
636
00:38:16,140 --> 00:38:21,160
Luckily for you, I don't need it. I know
it. On my heart.
637
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,400
Everybody died.
638
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,840
Like Kerwin Collins.
639
00:38:57,770 --> 00:39:03,130
The postman walking down the lane will
die alone,
640
00:39:03,330 --> 00:39:05,470
engulfed in pain.
641
00:39:06,910 --> 00:39:09,030
All of us will die.
642
00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:10,930
Die.
643
00:39:11,430 --> 00:39:12,430
Die.
644
00:39:13,130 --> 00:39:17,410
It goes on like that for another 15
verses, and to be honest, it is a bit...
645
00:39:17,410 --> 00:39:23,350
But... At the end...
646
00:39:24,330 --> 00:39:28,910
There's a verse about the one thing that
made him happy, the love of his life,
647
00:39:29,510 --> 00:39:30,510
Sian.
648
00:39:30,670 --> 00:39:36,390
Then rising through the hurt and sorrow,
a reason comes to see tomorrow.
649
00:39:36,590 --> 00:39:43,410
For though we may be worlds apart, she
lives forever in my heart.
650
00:39:44,270 --> 00:39:50,690
Even though she died, Sian stayed with
Kerwin throughout his life, both in year
651
00:39:50,690 --> 00:39:53,830
and in by year.
652
00:39:55,470 --> 00:39:56,650
So things fit then.
653
00:39:57,710 --> 00:39:59,330
That they be buried together.
654
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:41,300
I've not been so moved since my father
was jailed for stealing a horse.
655
00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:44,780
There's no doubt you have what it takes
to be a master undertaker.
656
00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:47,440
The manager's position is yours.
657
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,540
Thank you, Yvonne!
658
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,700
Thank you! I won't let you down,
promise!
659
00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:55,960
I got the job!
660
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:00,840
Sorry to hear that.
661
00:41:02,220 --> 00:41:03,300
Sorry to hear that.
662
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:05,880
So?
663
00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,380
Stella? What do you think?
664
00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:22,820
It's incredible.
665
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,080
What's going on?
666
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,200
I've been romantic.
667
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,640
In the allotment?
668
00:41:28,740 --> 00:41:29,860
What's wrong with the allotment?
669
00:41:30,220 --> 00:41:31,940
You've shagged me enough times in our
shed.
670
00:41:32,260 --> 00:41:33,260
I thought you were being romantic.
671
00:41:35,940 --> 00:41:36,980
Fancy some champagne?
672
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,380
Yes. Actually, I brought some as well.
673
00:41:44,620 --> 00:41:45,620
I've got something to celebrate.
674
00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:46,900
Which is?
675
00:41:46,940 --> 00:41:50,880
Well, after a fruitless job search in
Cardiff, I thought, what would Stella do
676
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,880
in this situation?
677
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,140
So I took your advice and I called Al
-Khamadi.
678
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,720
And? He offered me a job.
679
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:03,120
Period. A couple of days a week in the
office, but mainly working from home, so
680
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,760
I get more time with Jackson once this
paternity thing's sorted. Anyway, thank
681
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:08,760
you.
682
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,800
I should listen to you more often. You
really should.
683
00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:18,060
Hang on a minute. What have you got in
champagne?
684
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:26,940
Well, you see, the thing is... I don't
685
00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:28,400
want to be your lovely girlfriend
anymore.
686
00:42:30,260 --> 00:42:31,260
OK.
687
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,540
I want to be your lovely wife.
688
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:40,300
So are you doing what I think you're
doing? Shut up. I've rehearsed this and
689
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:41,300
everything.
690
00:42:42,580 --> 00:42:44,680
Michael Matthew Jackson.
691
00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:48,060
Will you do me the honour... Shouldn't
you be down on one knee?
692
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,238
In the mud?
693
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:50,240
That's what I do, to be fair.
694
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,160
What, you really expect... Where's my
ring?
695
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:53,840
Men don't have rings.
696
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,220
Sexist. Are you trying to put me off on
purpose?
697
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,600
Sorry.
698
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:58,940
I think I'm a bit nervous.
699
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,440
Go on.
700
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,520
I've lost my drift now.
701
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:05,900
Sorry.
702
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:21,640
I love you totally and unreservedly and
completely
703
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:28,600
and unconditionally and... Well, do you
want to marry
704
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,600
me or what?
705
00:43:32,940 --> 00:43:34,100
Like you wouldn't believe.
706
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,800
I know I don't fit in that much.
707
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,820
But I'm yours.
708
00:43:57,460 --> 00:44:02,000
I just heard you two are getting
married. If I do not ask you this, I
709
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,560
with regret until my dying breath.
710
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,560
You all right, do you, Lukey?
711
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,000
You know me, ma 'am.
712
00:44:07,260 --> 00:44:08,260
Nervous deal.
713
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,080
This is exactly what it looks like.
714
00:44:10,340 --> 00:44:11,580
You still love her, don't you, Rob?
715
00:44:11,630 --> 00:44:16,180
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