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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,130 --> 00:00:03,890 The following program contains strong language. 2 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,490 My family has to come first. 3 00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:13,450 Then you leave me not. You're dismissed. 4 00:00:13,850 --> 00:00:16,010 Hello. I'd like you to meet Suzanne. 5 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:21,530 We reinstate Auntie Brenda as Mayor of Ponterbury with immediate effect. 6 00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:23,210 Is she aware of how you feel? 7 00:00:23,470 --> 00:00:24,770 She believes I hate her. 8 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,030 I'm on custody. I'm taking you to court. 9 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,270 You want to fight? 10 00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:29,590 Bring it on, old man. 11 00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:01,130 All right? 12 00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:03,670 Yep. Just measuring my marrow. 13 00:01:04,989 --> 00:01:07,510 Curse of the vegetable garden. Everything sounds like an innuendo. 14 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:11,910 I've only just come out here, by the way. Been on the phone all day. OK. 15 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,590 Tried every law firm in Cardiff, but nothing's doing. 16 00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:17,690 I'd look further afield, but if I want to be around for the baby, then... 17 00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:18,690 Anything from Beyoncé? 18 00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,650 No. She won't even take my calls, let alone let me see Jackson. 19 00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:25,470 I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine who specialises in custody cases. He's 20 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,429 already sent a letter. 21 00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:27,169 Oh, well. 22 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,170 Must you get things moving? 23 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,570 Now, are you going to get changed? 24 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,430 Any Rob and Susanna beer in a minute? 25 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:34,850 Sure. Just going to put this prize winner to bed. 26 00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:36,490 Prize winner! 27 00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:38,310 You'll be lucky, Michael Jackson. 28 00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:43,260 Aunty Brenda, I know you're an expert in a wide variety of topics, but I didn't 29 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:44,840 realise that extended to summer squashes. 30 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,860 George, the butcher, have won the Ponteberry flour and produce show every 31 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:50,860 since 1989. 32 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,240 I'm not saying how. 33 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:56,120 I'm not one to make slanderful accusations. 34 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:57,439 Fair enough. 35 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,900 Bribery, that's how. 36 00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:02,380 That and the fact that he is very good at growing marrow. 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:03,960 Yeah, well, so is Michael. 38 00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:05,220 Look at that. 39 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,080 Aw. Like a marrow, only smaller. 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,700 How was your day, my love? 41 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:22,860 Oh, I've been rushed off my feet, dishing out advice to the poor and 42 00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:28,620 that Michael Jackson, unemployed, going for custody of a love child, and now 43 00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:34,160 making the biggest mistake of his life by entering a marrow against George the 44 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,340 Butcher. The fool. 45 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,900 I'd like to wipe the smile off George's face. 46 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:45,780 And not just because he tried to defrock me as mayor, although that is a 47 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:46,780 contributory factor. 48 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,540 Maybe I could help to wipe the smile off his face. 49 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,280 What do you mean? 50 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,880 Who is he again? 51 00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,620 Kerwin Collins. 52 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,480 Famous poet, apparently. 53 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,860 Never heard of him. No, me. 54 00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:03,320 Buried on a patch on Palmares. 55 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,210 God, there's loads to do. 56 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:09,350 There's nearly half a sex. I promised Jack I'd be back to tuck him in. 57 00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:10,950 Bobby Giffins, Larry Morgan. 58 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:12,350 In by you. 59 00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:14,950 I have news. 60 00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,029 Good news. 61 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,410 I have today a new job accepted at the Conservatoire du Morte. 62 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:21,370 The Conservatoire du Morte? 63 00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,770 The most prestigious undertaker's academy in the world? 64 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,690 Based in Middlesbrough? 65 00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:28,490 You must be delighted. 66 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:31,070 Yes, my heart soars like an eagle on the wind. 67 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,180 That's great, Ivan. Congratulations. 68 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,780 You took my advice, then? 69 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,680 Making a new start and moving away from Nadine? 70 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,780 This concerns Nadine Bevan not. 71 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,000 I have for many years wished to work at the Conservatoire de Morte. 72 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,900 Also, they say Middlesbrough is wonderful at this time of year. 73 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,280 Indeed they do. 74 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:59,860 So, who's going to manage this place for you, then, while you're gone? I know 75 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,819 not. 76 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:04,700 Perhaps someone who understands the industry and has a CB as impeccable as 77 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,700 French? 78 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,960 I know you're rushed off your feet, so why don't I look after our famous poet 79 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:10,739 for you? 80 00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:11,740 I'm more than capable. 81 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,220 That would remove a load from my shoulder. Also, to tell the truth, I 82 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,220 nothing of poetry. 83 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:17,640 Apart from Pam Ayres. 84 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,720 That's a beauty and no mistake. 85 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,620 Like a green Hindenburg. 86 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,540 Did you want something, Auntie Brenda? 87 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:35,580 Only to admire the perfect form of your marrow. 88 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:40,460 And to give you, as they do say in America, a heads -up about some council 89 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:41,460 business. 90 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:47,640 Which is? I'm proposing, and this is big with a capital B, that we change the 91 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,220 garden waste bins from green to red. 92 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,380 What? No. 93 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,940 You know how I feel about refuse bin colouring. Really? I had no idea. 94 00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:01,460 You will change those colours over my dead body. 95 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,420 That's the price I'm willing to pay. 96 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,900 This is a scandal. 97 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,900 We're so sorry for you, Lost. 98 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,180 Your brother was a great man. 99 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,200 Indeed he was. 100 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,500 The finest poet of his generation. 101 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,440 I take it you're familiar with his writing? 102 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:25,860 Yes, of course. 103 00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:33,090 It's so important to me that he's laid to rest by people who embrace his work. 104 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:34,230 Definitely. 105 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:39,150 So is there anything in particular you'd like in the funeral service? 106 00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:41,530 Readings of his poems, obviously. 107 00:05:42,130 --> 00:05:43,950 Like some of his early work, perhaps? 108 00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,610 He burned his early poems. 109 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,210 Everybody knows that. 110 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:53,130 Well, yes, his early poems he did. 111 00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:57,310 Then how about something from his later period? 112 00:05:58,610 --> 00:05:59,610 Yes. 113 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:02,290 That's what I was thinking too. 114 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,530 And did you have any thoughts on music? 115 00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:07,930 I thought that would be obvious. 116 00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:13,510 He writes about his musical taste in the poem I Love the Beatles. 117 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,230 The Beatles it is then? 118 00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:17,450 No. 119 00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:20,630 The title was ironic. He hated the Beatles. 120 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,820 I thought you knew his work. 121 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:28,300 We do. Of course. Just tell me that you're planning on involving Sian 122 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,300 in the service. 123 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,760 Definitely. I'll just get her details. 124 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,780 He never left her side. 125 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:37,800 Till now. 126 00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:49,240 How long did he follow you for? Up 127 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,720 the hill and back again. 128 00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:55,320 I thought, well, if the ranting don't kill him, the exercise probably will. 129 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,540 What? Oh, don't say you feel sorry for him now. 130 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,160 No, it's just good to see you laugh again. 131 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,420 You used to laugh a lot. 132 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:07,500 I laugh plenty, thank you. 133 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,740 I know. 134 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:14,140 I was just thinking, well, hoping that maybe we could go back to how things 135 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,440 to be back in the day. 136 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,640 I'll think about it. 137 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,240 Did you say... I said, I'll think about it. 138 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:31,680 Sian Llywelyn Ap Morfydd was the lover and muse of Welsh poet Cerwyn Curadog 139 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:36,360 Colin. Her untimely death was a major influence on his writing, in particular 140 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:41,900 the poem Death Dark Tunnel, Everybody Dies and She's Dead, She's Dead, Dear 141 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,839 She's Dead. 142 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,320 Oh, I bet he was a laugh on New Year's Eve. 143 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,260 Right, you get us a book of his poems after thinking of a colour scheme for 144 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,460 funeral. Did he do any poems about colours? 145 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,630 Black, black, all is black. 146 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,750 Oh, well, that's narrowed it down. 147 00:07:57,430 --> 00:08:00,030 Bob, when's Ivan starting his new job? 148 00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:03,630 Oh, your guess is as good as mine. I did try to ask him this morning, but he was 149 00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:05,330 off to the produce show with his wreaths. 150 00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:09,730 Be awful if he didn't pick you and he put some stranger in charge. 151 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,670 Oh, tell me about it. 152 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,530 Undertaking's the only thing I'm any good at. 153 00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:20,030 I've tried image consultancy, security, guardian of the well, no celebrity 154 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,030 reflexology. 155 00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:22,730 It's not funny. 156 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,570 You try massaging Keith Chegwin's feet. 157 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:26,730 They'll wake up screaming. 158 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:35,690 Right. I can't promise this will be any good, but the recipe's supposed to be 159 00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,289 easy to follow, so if it's rubbish, you can blame Jamie Oliver. 160 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,409 You might want to get drunk first. Are you? 161 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:43,390 It looks lovely, Stella. What is it? 162 00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:45,410 Moroccan chicken tagine. 163 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,050 Oh, that's posh. Oh, no, we eat this all the time. 164 00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:49,290 All right, Michael. 165 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:54,310 The sauce has got a bit of wine in it, but otherwise it's low -fat, so it's 166 00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:57,510 for... Well, you know. 167 00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,550 Those of us awaiting life -or -death operations. 168 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:02,350 Any news on that? 169 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,750 Um, no. 170 00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:07,670 Oh, Rob is a man of few words. 171 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,610 Sometimes I could strangle him. Sometimes she tries. 172 00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,390 We're still waiting for the new consultant to give us a date. 173 00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:19,450 The delay is not good, but hopefully we'll hear soon and then we'll go to 174 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:20,450 London. 175 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,870 See? Wasn't so hard, was it? 176 00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:28,330 Stella, this is superb. 177 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,490 It really is. Did you seriously make this? 178 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:34,970 I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. It's always the same. 179 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,370 They're sweet as kittens when you fuck me. 180 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,920 Then three months down the line, you end up worrying about it going to take out 181 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:41,819 the trash. 182 00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:45,920 Actually, we had a row when we first met. We sort of crashed into each other 183 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,360 shared a beautiful moment of road rage. Oh, that is so cute. 184 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:50,960 See, told you. 185 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,480 And how did you and Rob meet? 186 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,320 Oh, well, didn't Rob's construction company build a new wing on your 187 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,420 And you ended up arguing about the roof tiles. So he took you out to dinner to 188 00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:02,420 try and talk you round. 189 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:07,460 I have fluke. 190 00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:12,090 Well, he told me, actually, so I probably got the details wrong. 191 00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:14,370 No, that's exactly how it happened. 192 00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,550 Valid? Anyone? 193 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:41,050 than a Wales -England rugby international, and just as ugly. 194 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:46,210 Now, judging I've started in a few of the categories, but the results aren't 195 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:50,370 till three, so there's plenty of time to get picked on some lovely homemade 196 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,370 wine. Oi! 197 00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:53,810 Quinnell! Watch our mouthy one. 198 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,049 Fair play. 199 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:59,890 Just to repeat, results aren't till three, so there's plenty of time to have 200 00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:03,870 drink of some fucking lovely homemade wine. 201 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,280 People do think Pansies is soft because of the name, like. 202 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,300 But they are the hardest flower there is. 203 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,020 They survived a nuclear war along with cockroaches and mollusks. 204 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,540 And my mate Kenny has built his own shelter. 205 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,880 Bet they won't survive a pint of this. 206 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120 I told you. 207 00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,940 It's the new batch. It ain't half as strong. 208 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,620 What a fine -looking specimen. 209 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,900 It's got to be in with a chance there. 210 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,980 I thought you said it was too small. 211 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,120 Must have been a chick of the light. 212 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:44,480 Yeah, but George the Butcher isn't here yet. Oh, well then, perhaps fate is on 213 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,500 your side today, Michael Jackson. 214 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,800 Have you got hay fever or something? 215 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,900 Ask me no boss names, I'll tell you no what you call. 216 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,040 Ooh, 217 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,160 here we are. Here we are! 218 00:11:58,140 --> 00:12:00,300 Do you think you'll be like her when you grow up? 219 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:02,120 I really hope not. 220 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,580 Right, I'd better be heading off. 221 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,200 If the pub's quiet, I'll try and finish early. Come back and watch you win first 222 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,200 prize. 223 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,320 Good luck. 224 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,700 I must say, that's wonderful. 225 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,200 What is it? 226 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,740 Apricot infused with brandy blended with a summer compote. And marinated in a 227 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:23,760 troker of sugar. 228 00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:27,420 Sorry, what? She means striker. It means a blend of three things. 229 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:28,740 I know what I mean. 230 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,180 Anyway, it's very good. 231 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:31,860 Well done. 232 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,140 It's not even my first language and I'm correcting you. It's quite funny, 233 00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,180 really. 234 00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,820 Or not funny at all. 235 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,319 Need a lift? 236 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,320 No, you're all right. 237 00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,440 Just heading into work to do the exercise. 238 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,840 I could do with the company. 239 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,180 It's literally two minutes. 240 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,280 What a lovely two minutes it'll be. 241 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,920 Thanks again for last night. 242 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,600 Fun, wasn't it? 243 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,000 And Suzanne's lovely. 244 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,280 Very, what's the word? 245 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,560 Very Rob. 246 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,720 Meaning? 247 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,380 Meaning you always land on your feet. 248 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,020 What? I'm being nice. 249 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,060 I'm glad you've come over. 250 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,900 Someone needs to sort you out. 251 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,740 Where are you going, anyway? 252 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,540 Oh, I just dropped her off at Luke's. They're taking the kids to the park. 253 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,760 It's nice she wants to spend time with them. They're very lucky. 254 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,540 Well, I always land on my feet. 255 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,300 Right. Thanks for the lift. 256 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,980 So, you know, we've been waiting for a date for the surgery. 257 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,960 Oh, don't tell me they've changed their mind. 258 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,500 No, it's a week today. 259 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,040 I heard this morning. 260 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,760 Oh, God, you must be so relieved. 261 00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:57,060 Yeah. I mean, I can think of a hundred other things I'd rather be doing, but... 262 00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,299 You watch. 263 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,240 It'll be over before you know it. You can start running marathons again. 264 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,260 Look, 265 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,160 I'm really sorry, but I've got to go. 266 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,560 Sorry. What are you doing? 267 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,620 I meant to stop my shift in ten minutes. 268 00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,120 Oh, come on. Skive off work. Live a little. 269 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:25,900 Having better? 270 00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:26,979 I haven't lost. 271 00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:27,980 Lost. Lost. 272 00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,960 Have you an interest in funeral wreaths? 273 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,620 No. Funeral wreaths will always remind me of death. 274 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,360 Well, I'll be off. 275 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,200 Soon I must leave Pontybury. 276 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:49,260 What? 277 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,700 I am to move to the historic town of Middlesborough. 278 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,940 Don't know why you're telling me. 279 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,320 I mean nothing to you. And vice versa, I'm sure. 280 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:28,329 Isn't it beautiful? 281 00:15:28,330 --> 00:15:29,330 Er, yeah. 282 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:31,170 You don't remember. 283 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:32,670 Shame on you. 284 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,650 October half -term, 1986. 285 00:15:35,590 --> 00:15:40,530 We cycled up here, I got a puncture, missed the last bus, spent the night in 286 00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:42,790 pub, and then... Yeah, all right, I remember now. 287 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,170 Well, I thought it'd be fun to come back here and have lunch. 288 00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:48,910 Rob Morgan. 289 00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:50,410 Having fun. 290 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,950 Come on. 291 00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:53,430 Walk will do us good. 292 00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:55,650 Hang on a minute. 293 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,200 Oh, don't you just love the country air? 294 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,080 It's the low alcohols, isn't it? Lower. 295 00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:04,560 But still with sun and floral overtones. 296 00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,560 And it's great for wind. I don't have wind. 297 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,800 You will have. 298 00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:18,200 I don't believe it. 299 00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:19,580 Clem Draper. 300 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:20,860 What are they, Pa? 301 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 Chief Baxter. 302 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,000 Fax. The axe. 303 00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,280 Bash! No way! 304 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,920 I haven't seen you since Mason's Arms at Twitch, 1978. 305 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,180 Oh, bloody hell! Oh, those were the days. 306 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,740 Pure rock and roll. 307 00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:37,980 Delighted to see you. 308 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,280 Signed with them a couple of weeks back. Nothing serious. 309 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,080 Doing what you love, though. Aye. 310 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,840 Still skint, mind. 311 00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:45,540 So what about you? What are you doing here? 312 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,380 Got a stall. 313 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,010 Fertiliser. That's great, man. It's not what you call glamorous, but it's 314 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,690 steady, you know. Will Keith Baxter please return to his side? 315 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,670 He's got somebody who would like to talk to about... Ertelizer. 316 00:16:57,890 --> 00:16:58,890 ...pig shit. 317 00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:02,090 Right, well, that's me then. 318 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:04,570 Nice to see you again. 319 00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:05,670 And you. 320 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,770 Keep on rocking, you two pal. 321 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:22,180 Closed down a year or so back. Ah, there we are then. 322 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,480 Best we head in home. 323 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,720 I think it's locked, Rob. 324 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,820 I won't tell if you want. 325 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,040 And pansies are such a resilient flower. 326 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:40,260 The lady even survived a nuclear war, along with mollusks and your mate Kenny, 327 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,560 as you said. Look, I've really got to go. The judging's about to start. 328 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,650 Mike, can I have a word? 329 00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,530 So you're talking to me now? Oh, I don't know. I argue, OK? Not in front of 330 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:57,070 Jack's head. Stop your... Sorry. 331 00:17:58,890 --> 00:17:59,890 Neither do I. 332 00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,009 Hello, little man. 333 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,670 I got the letter from your solicitor. 334 00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:07,750 About the custody thing. 335 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,330 Sorry, but that's what I think's best. 336 00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,030 For all of us. 337 00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:13,310 No, I'm sorry for not being honest with you. 338 00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:15,889 What do you mean? 339 00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:16,890 See, the thing is... 340 00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:20,219 Jackson isn't you well? 341 00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:21,780 What? 342 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:24,360 I only said you were the dad because you're loaded. 343 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,400 You should never let it go on this long. 344 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:38,620 I think I'm that stupid. 345 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,540 You're only doing this to stop me applying for custody. What? 346 00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:43,100 No, it's true. 347 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,180 Really? Yeah, because your track record on telling the truth is great. 348 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,660 Oh, oh, my God, I am not lying! 349 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,580 You are not Jackson's father, OK? 350 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,420 Well, if I'm not his father, who is? 351 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:58,920 Cackers. 352 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,800 Fucking hell. 353 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:07,220 Cackers? Well, how can you be so sure? A girl just knows, OK? Don't make me 354 00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,220 spell it out. 355 00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:11,000 So is there anything else you want this lot to know, or can I go? I don't 356 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:11,819 believe you. 357 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,860 I want a paternity test. 358 00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:14,660 Beyoncé. 359 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:23,260 And the winner is... George the Butcher. 360 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,420 Would you believe it? 361 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,000 Some little bugger stole what they thought was my marrow. 362 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,280 But that was just my safety marrow. 363 00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,320 My prize winners are kept under lock and key and are only picked by the light of 364 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,320 the full moon. 365 00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,580 Some people, eh, Auntie Brenda? 366 00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:53,310 What was up here? 367 00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,950 Don't tell me you've forgotten the bedrooms. 368 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,830 A little goldmine, this place. 369 00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,750 We should buy it, then. 370 00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:07,190 We might do. 371 00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:10,290 Tighten it up a bit. Put Luke in tight. 372 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:11,810 I can even run it myself. 373 00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,570 You could help. 374 00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:17,830 I know how to pull a pint press, but what do I know about running a pub? 375 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:20,290 In fact, what do you know about running a pub? 376 00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:21,690 Just a thought. 377 00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:24,730 We're friends, Rob. 378 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:26,949 Nothing more. 379 00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,070 Friends don't kiss each other. 380 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,630 Oh, now, look. Friends don't leave long, answerful messages saying that they 381 00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:35,470 love you, but not in that way. This isn't fair. Even though you can hear in 382 00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,790 their voice that it is in that way. 383 00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,810 The truth is, Stella, 384 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,300 I don't think you and I can be just friends. 385 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960 I should have been us. 386 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,900 See you now, boy. Grow up. 387 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,620 Going on holiday. All that stuff we never did. 388 00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,420 Cut the self -pity. It really doesn't suit you. 389 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,380 Stella. No. 390 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,620 Don't say it. I need to be with you, Stella, for the rest of my life, however 391 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:23,620 short that is. 392 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:24,780 Oh, you're not playing that card. 393 00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:26,180 It's not a card. 394 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:28,960 Sorry. 395 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,080 What are you suggesting, then? 396 00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:38,060 We move here. 397 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,220 Run a pub. Get the bloody pub. 398 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,460 I'll go anywhere and do anything to be with you. 399 00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:47,500 Ponterbury, Canada, Pimber, Sodden too. 400 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:48,700 And what about Suzanne? 401 00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,100 She's not you. And Michael? 402 00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:51,460 What about Michael? 403 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,760 He's not me. 404 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:03,860 I'm not doing this. 405 00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,200 Stella. We are not doing this. 406 00:22:10,070 --> 00:22:14,070 You think if you and me had got together, it would have been some big 407 00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:15,470 romance, but it wouldn't. 408 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:19,470 I'd have got fed up of washing your socks, and you'd have yelled at me for 409 00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:22,910 loading the dishwasher wrong. I might not. Or a million and one other boring 410 00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:25,890 domestic things. Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? Oh, for 411 00:22:25,890 --> 00:22:27,890 fuck's sake, Rob, it's not going to happen. 412 00:22:29,270 --> 00:22:31,930 We had a chance, and we chose not to take it. Oh, come on, Stella. And you 413 00:22:31,930 --> 00:22:35,110 can't, on a whim, decide you want to make a go of things again. What do you 414 00:22:35,110 --> 00:22:37,610 mean, on a whim? Because it's too late. We both left it too late. 415 00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:42,640 And you're with Suzanne now, and I'm with Michael. And not because he's 416 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,260 best, but because I love him. 417 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,080 I know. 418 00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:57,040 Remember when we'd been going out for six months? 419 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,440 You made me that little silver heart. 420 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,600 God, yeah, you remember that? 421 00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:04,260 Well, I kept it. 422 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,760 Did you? 423 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,690 And I carry it with me. 424 00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:10,730 In here. 425 00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:16,450 Because you're always going to be a part of my life, Rob. 426 00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:19,890 And I am always going to love you. 427 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:24,770 And that doesn't change how I feel about Michael, because what me and Michael 428 00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:25,870 have got is so different. 429 00:23:28,390 --> 00:23:30,010 We've got Luke, you and me. 430 00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:33,910 And we've got our story. 431 00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:36,630 We just haven't got a future, Bob. 432 00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:37,890 but we have. 433 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:42,610 Because you were so wrong when you said you and me couldn't be friends. We can 434 00:23:42,610 --> 00:23:47,870 be the best friends on this planet because I am so loyal to you. 435 00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:53,110 And I will kill anyone who ever hurts you, including Suzanne, although I think 436 00:23:53,110 --> 00:23:54,890 that's unlikely because she's absolutely besotted. 437 00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:58,010 Also, I think she looks like she might beat me in a fight. 438 00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:03,210 I know you're scared about next week. 439 00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:06,800 It's going to be all right, sweetheart. 440 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:28,440 And tears of death are always willing to fall upon the hell and killing. 441 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,500 Are all his poems about death? 442 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,260 No, no, there's one beautiful little bunny rabbit called Hoppy. 443 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,320 Who dies makes him a toast. 444 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:43,920 You have not finished the arranging of the poet's funeral? 445 00:24:44,260 --> 00:24:47,060 Yeah, we get in there. It's taken us all day to find the flowers. 446 00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,860 Roses of black? 447 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,320 Cadwyn's favourite colour. 448 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,140 The rose of black is very expensive. 449 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:56,920 Yeah. And not in the budget. The extra from our profit comes. 450 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,960 It's only a few quid. We are not a case of charity. 451 00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,850 Have you finished the order of service? 452 00:25:04,110 --> 00:25:07,850 We're just about to. Just about? The funeral is tomorrow and the printers, 453 00:25:07,850 --> 00:25:08,950 are closing at six. 454 00:25:09,330 --> 00:25:11,690 I've rang them and they've said they're happy to work late. 455 00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:14,830 For a few extra quid. What? 456 00:25:15,530 --> 00:25:18,610 No! No, no, no! This is unacceptable! 457 00:25:19,450 --> 00:25:20,450 Ivan? 458 00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:25,910 Have you been drinking? 459 00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,150 Again? That is not the question. 460 00:25:30,410 --> 00:25:31,790 Well, it's a question. 461 00:25:32,510 --> 00:25:37,750 I have funeraled around the world for princes and for paupers. 462 00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:44,630 For stars on stage and screen. Next week, I am to arrange an open casket 463 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:47,790 for a 92 -year -old queen of drag. 464 00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:50,770 I do not need your help or advice. 465 00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:52,110 Now, go! 466 00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,870 I will sort out this mess. 467 00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:57,800 Mess? What mess? Not another word. 468 00:25:58,020 --> 00:26:00,220 But it's so unfair. No. You're being unreasonable. 469 00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:02,200 Silence. Let me work. 470 00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:17,060 Young at heart, yet what a start. 471 00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:20,320 Old before their time. 472 00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:25,460 They married young for love at last. 473 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,660 was their only crime. 474 00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:37,080 How come I love them now? How come I love them more? 475 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,240 He's good, isn't he? 476 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,520 You a fella? 477 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,060 He's not my fella. 478 00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:43,620 My mistake. 479 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,040 You're so young. 480 00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:49,200 A lot of people think the pansies are so clever. Go away. Roger that. 481 00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:53,820 You're so young. 482 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,460 Hello. Well, am I glad to see you. 483 00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,680 Oh, sweetheart, you didn't win. 484 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,020 No, I came second. 485 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,520 It's just a stupid marrow composition. It's not that bad. 486 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,140 Bad is what Beyonce told me this afternoon. 487 00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:45,020 You're so young at heart. 488 00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:56,840 Yes, for tomorrow, the order of services. 489 00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:00,440 No, I will not pay extra. 490 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,460 I do not care. 491 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,320 Just print and deliver. 492 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:05,920 I send now. 493 00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:20,300 Go ahead. 494 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:22,500 Go ahead. 495 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:25,240 Go on. 496 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,460 Oh, what a night. 497 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:30,800 Shoot. 498 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,160 Keith was grinning like a Cheshire cat. 499 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,940 Said he was going to quit his job and get the band back together. I said, no 500 00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:42,940 way. 501 00:28:43,380 --> 00:28:45,400 I'm sticking here with my Brenda. 502 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,520 See how things play out. He was all like, nah, man, let's just hit the road. 503 00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:02,040 I said, no way, pal. 504 00:29:06,540 --> 00:29:08,920 Oliver, how can you leave her again? 505 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:16,760 There are many, many crazy things that will keep me loving 506 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:17,760 you. 507 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:24,300 And with your permission, may I list a few? 508 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,100 The way you wear your hat. 509 00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:32,460 The way you... 510 00:29:48,950 --> 00:29:49,950 I mean, 511 00:29:51,610 --> 00:29:54,790 there's no way she can say for sure that Kekus is the father, even if she did 512 00:29:54,790 --> 00:29:55,790 sleep with him. 513 00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:58,230 I mean, I was right to ask for a paternity test, wasn't I? 514 00:29:58,490 --> 00:29:59,490 I don't know. 515 00:30:00,050 --> 00:30:01,790 What do the rest of Ponterbury think? 516 00:30:02,930 --> 00:30:05,370 Yeah, probably not the best forum to announce that. 517 00:30:05,590 --> 00:30:07,010 God, it's such a mess, isn't it? 518 00:30:07,650 --> 00:30:09,930 Actually, don't answer that. Just say, it'll all be fine. 519 00:30:10,150 --> 00:30:11,150 It'll all be fine. 520 00:30:14,470 --> 00:30:15,470 Michael? 521 00:30:16,390 --> 00:30:17,390 Yeah? 522 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:23,970 I've been having a little think today, and there's something I want to talk to 523 00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:24,970 you about. 524 00:30:26,170 --> 00:30:27,170 Something important. 525 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,320 Namaste. There you go. 526 00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:01,820 Thanks. 527 00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:04,020 You want some more? 528 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,820 Is it locally sourced? 529 00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:07,100 It's from the corner shop. 530 00:31:07,420 --> 00:31:09,140 Right. But is it fair trade? 531 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,020 I have no idea what that means. 532 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,560 I can do you some eggs, if you like. 533 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,360 Um... Actually, I'm vegan. 534 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,380 You eat chicken, though, don't you, babe? 535 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,080 Only when my blood sugar's low. 536 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,420 You're a diabetic, ma 'am, and the doctors didn't even spot it. 537 00:31:21,700 --> 00:31:25,420 Oh. The Western doctors didn't with their corporate blinkers. 538 00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:28,100 But, Stella, please, don't worry. 539 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,320 I'll pick up some quinoa later on from one of your local shops. 540 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:34,480 Good luck with that. 541 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:39,940 I'm, er... I'm going to go and meditate to Tali. I'm a bit out of balance. 542 00:31:46,660 --> 00:31:47,660 It's Harley. 543 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,880 It's Hindy, the butterfly. 544 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,680 I'm fleeing there. 545 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:56,299 Emma, love. 546 00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:57,840 You were going to ask me about Sonny and you. 547 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,540 No, I was going to ask you about your toast. 548 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,180 And then I was going to ask what the hell you mean by telling me that Oak is 549 00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,119 your husband. 550 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,720 I mean, what happened with Sonny? I thought you were going to make a go of 551 00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:13,840 We tried it for a while, but we soon realised we'd come to the end of our 552 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:14,840 journey together. 553 00:32:15,130 --> 00:32:17,830 Oh, is that Orc throwing his voice? 554 00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:21,170 Orc isn't my husband in boring Western terms. 555 00:32:21,950 --> 00:32:27,490 The monk that did the ceremony said our spirits were entwined for eternity. 556 00:32:28,850 --> 00:32:29,930 Which I think's better. 557 00:32:30,590 --> 00:32:32,610 And when exactly did all this happen? 558 00:32:32,910 --> 00:32:33,889 That's not important. 559 00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:34,910 How long have you known him, Em? 560 00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:36,170 Three weeks. 561 00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:41,450 That's two thanks but no thanks from people who said they'd consider me. I 562 00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:43,670 you anything Maria's behind all of this. Give me a crappy reference. 563 00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:45,610 There's a cat here at Ticket. 564 00:32:46,330 --> 00:32:47,330 Hey. 565 00:32:47,850 --> 00:32:50,330 It's life's gift to settle challenges. 566 00:32:51,310 --> 00:32:55,350 The wings of a dove are stronger than the swords of a thousand armies. 567 00:32:55,870 --> 00:32:56,870 Oh. 568 00:32:57,790 --> 00:32:59,730 Titali, where's my meditation cushion? 569 00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:01,810 In my rucksack under your iPad. 570 00:33:29,930 --> 00:33:30,930 Good morning, my sweet. 571 00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:32,710 I made you breakfast. 572 00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:34,130 Five minutes. 573 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,040 What's all this? 574 00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:08,840 It's been fun, Clem. It really has. 575 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,560 Really? But you're the proverbial rolling stone and I'm a stick in the 576 00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:19,639 I don't want to spend my life telling you what you should or shouldn't be 577 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,880 even if I could do so with uncanny accuracy. 578 00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:25,159 But I want to be with you. 579 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,500 Last night Kiko was going on about going back on the road with all expenses 580 00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,600 paid. Mind, the guy's loaded. 581 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,179 But I still said no. 582 00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:36,179 In a heartbeat. 583 00:34:36,460 --> 00:34:38,199 It wasn't a heartbeat, Boot. 584 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,960 The two of you talked about it for over an hour, laughing and joking. 585 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:46,820 What are you going to do, stat? 586 00:34:47,070 --> 00:34:52,630 I mean, yes, you'll have the prestige of being married to a local celebrity 587 00:34:52,630 --> 00:34:58,250 slash political fire brand, but deep down, you and me are as different as 588 00:34:58,250 --> 00:34:59,250 and cheesecake. 589 00:35:03,130 --> 00:35:08,110 If I were you, I'd go and see that Keith Feller and have a chat. 590 00:35:23,530 --> 00:35:28,810 Last night, when we came home... Did we? 591 00:35:30,570 --> 00:35:31,650 No. 592 00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:34,890 Yeah. 593 00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:54,830 He's still not answering his phone. Shall we just tell Reverend what's to 594 00:35:54,830 --> 00:35:58,170 started? You can't start a funeral without an audit of service. We're not 595 00:35:58,170 --> 00:35:59,170 animal. 596 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,410 Oh! 597 00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:03,130 I have them here. 598 00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:06,350 I have just from the princess picked them up, give these out for her. 599 00:36:07,330 --> 00:36:11,010 Right. All set. Ready to go? Just giving out the audit of service. 600 00:36:11,290 --> 00:36:11,928 Thank goodness. 601 00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:14,690 To be honest, I don't know anything about Kerwin Collins, so any 602 00:36:14,830 --> 00:36:15,629 glad to receive. 603 00:36:15,630 --> 00:36:16,850 Oh, my God! 604 00:36:18,270 --> 00:36:19,450 Ivan, did you check these? 605 00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:21,890 There was no time. Come, we must not delay. 606 00:36:22,130 --> 00:36:25,050 Only I'm pretty sure Kerwin Collins wasn't a 92 -year -old drag queen. 607 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,290 Why are you working up here? 608 00:36:30,650 --> 00:36:33,510 Well, I tried downstairs, but Oak started telling me about ley lines. 609 00:36:34,410 --> 00:36:37,710 Anyway, I'm heading to Cardiff in a bit, do some networking, try and drum up 610 00:36:37,710 --> 00:36:38,710 some work. 611 00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:40,570 I thought we could have dinner tonight. 612 00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:42,710 You'll be back about eight -ish, won't you? 613 00:36:43,010 --> 00:36:46,130 Hopefully. I've no idea who's going to see me or when. 614 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,500 I just thought it'd be nice to, you know, cut you off. 615 00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:55,220 Have a chat and stuff. I know. It's just this custody case, when it comes to 616 00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:58,240 court, the first question the judge will ask me will be about my finances. I can 617 00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,440 hardly say I'm unemployed, can I? 618 00:37:00,380 --> 00:37:03,360 What about what's -his -face, Al -Khamadi? There's no point. 619 00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:06,940 Maria's contacted everyone I worked with. Poured poison in their ears. 620 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,160 So tell them she's wrong. 621 00:37:08,340 --> 00:37:11,220 Well, it's not that easy. If it was, I'd do it. Anyway, there's such a thing as 622 00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,220 professional pride. 623 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,320 OK. 624 00:37:15,020 --> 00:37:16,020 Oh, I'm sorry. 625 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,420 I'll be back for dinner. 626 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:26,000 Sadly, Kerwin 627 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:30,540 is no longer with us. And that is very sad indeed. 628 00:37:31,220 --> 00:37:35,640 But his memory lives on in some of his best -remembered poems. 629 00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:42,980 Like, um... She's dead. 630 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,760 She's deaf! 631 00:37:46,350 --> 00:37:52,830 And of course... Helen Keller. 632 00:37:53,710 --> 00:37:54,970 Helen Keller. 633 00:37:56,190 --> 00:38:03,170 Anyway, we are blessed that Gwyneth, his beloved sister, is here to 634 00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:08,170 read perhaps his most famous work, which may be in the order of service. 635 00:38:09,990 --> 00:38:12,390 Bit of a mix -up there, sorry. 636 00:38:16,140 --> 00:38:21,160 Luckily for you, I don't need it. I know it. On my heart. 637 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,400 Everybody died. 638 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,840 Like Kerwin Collins. 639 00:38:57,770 --> 00:39:03,130 The postman walking down the lane will die alone, 640 00:39:03,330 --> 00:39:05,470 engulfed in pain. 641 00:39:06,910 --> 00:39:09,030 All of us will die. 642 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:10,930 Die. 643 00:39:11,430 --> 00:39:12,430 Die. 644 00:39:13,130 --> 00:39:17,410 It goes on like that for another 15 verses, and to be honest, it is a bit... 645 00:39:17,410 --> 00:39:23,350 But... At the end... 646 00:39:24,330 --> 00:39:28,910 There's a verse about the one thing that made him happy, the love of his life, 647 00:39:29,510 --> 00:39:30,510 Sian. 648 00:39:30,670 --> 00:39:36,390 Then rising through the hurt and sorrow, a reason comes to see tomorrow. 649 00:39:36,590 --> 00:39:43,410 For though we may be worlds apart, she lives forever in my heart. 650 00:39:44,270 --> 00:39:50,690 Even though she died, Sian stayed with Kerwin throughout his life, both in year 651 00:39:50,690 --> 00:39:53,830 and in by year. 652 00:39:55,470 --> 00:39:56,650 So things fit then. 653 00:39:57,710 --> 00:39:59,330 That they be buried together. 654 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:41,300 I've not been so moved since my father was jailed for stealing a horse. 655 00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:44,780 There's no doubt you have what it takes to be a master undertaker. 656 00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:47,440 The manager's position is yours. 657 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,540 Thank you, Yvonne! 658 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,700 Thank you! I won't let you down, promise! 659 00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:55,960 I got the job! 660 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:00,840 Sorry to hear that. 661 00:41:02,220 --> 00:41:03,300 Sorry to hear that. 662 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:05,880 So? 663 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,380 Stella? What do you think? 664 00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:22,820 It's incredible. 665 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,080 What's going on? 666 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,200 I've been romantic. 667 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,640 In the allotment? 668 00:41:28,740 --> 00:41:29,860 What's wrong with the allotment? 669 00:41:30,220 --> 00:41:31,940 You've shagged me enough times in our shed. 670 00:41:32,260 --> 00:41:33,260 I thought you were being romantic. 671 00:41:35,940 --> 00:41:36,980 Fancy some champagne? 672 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,380 Yes. Actually, I brought some as well. 673 00:41:44,620 --> 00:41:45,620 I've got something to celebrate. 674 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:46,900 Which is? 675 00:41:46,940 --> 00:41:50,880 Well, after a fruitless job search in Cardiff, I thought, what would Stella do 676 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,880 in this situation? 677 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,140 So I took your advice and I called Al -Khamadi. 678 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,720 And? He offered me a job. 679 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:03,120 Period. A couple of days a week in the office, but mainly working from home, so 680 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,760 I get more time with Jackson once this paternity thing's sorted. Anyway, thank 681 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:08,760 you. 682 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,800 I should listen to you more often. You really should. 683 00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:18,060 Hang on a minute. What have you got in champagne? 684 00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:26,940 Well, you see, the thing is... I don't 685 00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:28,400 want to be your lovely girlfriend anymore. 686 00:42:30,260 --> 00:42:31,260 OK. 687 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,540 I want to be your lovely wife. 688 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:40,300 So are you doing what I think you're doing? Shut up. I've rehearsed this and 689 00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:41,300 everything. 690 00:42:42,580 --> 00:42:44,680 Michael Matthew Jackson. 691 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:48,060 Will you do me the honour... Shouldn't you be down on one knee? 692 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,238 In the mud? 693 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:50,240 That's what I do, to be fair. 694 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,160 What, you really expect... Where's my ring? 695 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:53,840 Men don't have rings. 696 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,220 Sexist. Are you trying to put me off on purpose? 697 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,600 Sorry. 698 00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:58,940 I think I'm a bit nervous. 699 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,440 Go on. 700 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,520 I've lost my drift now. 701 00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:05,900 Sorry. 702 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:21,640 I love you totally and unreservedly and completely 703 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:28,600 and unconditionally and... Well, do you want to marry 704 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,600 me or what? 705 00:43:32,940 --> 00:43:34,100 Like you wouldn't believe. 706 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,800 I know I don't fit in that much. 707 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,820 But I'm yours. 708 00:43:57,460 --> 00:44:02,000 I just heard you two are getting married. If I do not ask you this, I 709 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,560 with regret until my dying breath. 710 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,560 You all right, do you, Lukey? 711 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,000 You know me, ma 'am. 712 00:44:07,260 --> 00:44:08,260 Nervous deal. 713 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,080 This is exactly what it looks like. 714 00:44:10,340 --> 00:44:11,580 You still love her, don't you, Rob? 715 00:44:11,630 --> 00:44:16,180 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 54422

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