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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:19,560 She smiles. 2 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:58,480 I stretch my hands out to the sky and we dance like monsters through the night. 3 00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:54,470 and toilet. 4 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,780 No garden, but there's a balcony. 5 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,650 What's a balcony? 6 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:00,960 A shite balcony. 7 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,250 Yeah. 8 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,840 The rest of it looks nice, though. 9 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,450 Yeah, they wanted two months to pause it. 10 00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:09,589 Oh, bollocks. 11 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,490 We'll have to be patient, that's all. Save up a bit. 12 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,300 Where are two of the bowls? 13 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,380 Ask Michael. He's been decluttering. 14 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,330 Who's breakfast? 15 00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,010 I literally have no idea. 16 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,870 Luke, will you take us driving later? 17 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,030 Not today, but I go work. 18 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,950 I'll never pass at this rate. 19 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,549 Well, you know what you want to do, Ben? 20 00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,169 Go on one of them courses where you pass your test in a week? 21 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:39,430 No. Go up Ponteberry College and register for sixth form. 22 00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:42,230 To be continued. 23 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,800 Oh! 24 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:51,350 All right, rain man. 25 00:02:51,351 --> 00:02:54,629 I thought you'd already gone. I'm trying to, but first I want my breakfast, 26 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:58,109 which, by the way, is the most important meal of the day. Is that your medical 27 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,960 opinion? But I can't have my breakfast because someone has moved the spoons. 28 00:03:01,961 --> 00:03:04,289 Just trying to bring some order to your chaos. 29 00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:05,340 My chaos? 30 00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,290 How is your office? 31 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:10,989 It's OK. 32 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,170 I don't like to moan, unlike some people. 33 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,210 Hey, play nicely. It's my first day. 34 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:16,580 Of your second year. 35 00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:18,569 Well, I'm still allowed to be nervous. 36 00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,839 Come on, what's the worst that can happen? You... 37 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,679 Accidentally kill a patient, there's a trial, it's all over the papers, and 38 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,699 people start yelling murder at you in the street. 39 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:27,000 The booms, Michael. 40 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,020 Kitchen cupboard, bottom left. 41 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,410 Thank you. 42 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:35,559 So, you're smart, you're hard -working, and you're great with people. You'll be 43 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,610 fine. 44 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,610 But if you do get sacked, make sure you keep the uniform. 45 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,520 There she is, getting into her car, as bold as a builder. 46 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,180 Morning, Aunty Brenda. 47 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:55,139 Oh, there'll be no morning, Aunty Brenda. Not till you've explained the 48 00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:56,190 of that. 49 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,670 Michael have found a buyer for his house. 50 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,800 I can read, good girl. I want details. 51 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,470 Oh, I'm late as it is. I've got no time for that. 52 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:05,870 Fine. 53 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:10,079 He got an offer last week. It was less than what he wanted, but the buyer said 54 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,619 he could move quick, so Michael have accepted, and they are exchanging and 55 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,240 completing on Friday. Happy now? 56 00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:16,119 Not remotely. 57 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,710 I haven't met him yet. Neither have I. Does it matter? 58 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,040 It could be anyone. 59 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,990 Swingers, doggers, Nazi war criminals. 60 00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:25,030 What would that do to house prices? 61 00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:27,070 I've got to go. I'll see you later. 62 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:32,109 Well, I'm willing to overlook you a slapdash approach to the property market 63 00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:34,940 you'll do me a favour and put these up round the hospital. 64 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:40,710 Room to let, non -smoker, no vegans or fancy type. 65 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,310 Are you getting a lodger? 66 00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:45,250 When times are hard, you've got to diversify. 67 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,050 Deborah Meaden told me that. 68 00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:57,410 Le Café de Les Allens. It's definitely distinctive. 69 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,690 Exactly. No one's ever called a café. 70 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,330 I looked it up on Google. 71 00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,580 Aye. 72 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,110 This is a new start, love. 73 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:08,610 Another chapter in the book called Things Done by Alan and Little Alan. 74 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,240 That's not a real book, mind. It's just been poetic. 75 00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,250 Eh? Big day for you too? 76 00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:15,580 Yeah. 77 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:17,180 Listen, look. 78 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,320 Hey, Stella. 79 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,199 You coming tomorrow night? Big opening? 80 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,999 Wouldn't let it for the world, Trash. 81 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,820 I'd dry cleaned my posh frocks. 82 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,420 Right, ready now, Frasca? 83 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,840 Ready as I'll ever be. 84 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:40,220 All right, isn't it, Dad? 85 00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,110 Yes, sir. 86 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,720 Shall I say a little, Al? 87 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,320 As one door closes, another one opens. 88 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,820 Do you want me to open it again? No, the moment's gone. 89 00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:07,930 Edith, this is what you know about nursing. 90 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,170 You might think you know this, but you don't. 91 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:12,440 You know this. 92 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,670 Now, this year's going to be tough. 93 00:06:15,671 --> 00:06:20,069 You're going to be on your own a lot more without me there to hold your hands 94 00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:21,120 and wipe your bums. 95 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,470 Some of you will not cope. 96 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,050 Others, we'll have to wait and see. 97 00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:31,760 Celia, is there? 98 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,360 Yes. 99 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:36,869 Celia's returning back into nursing after, ooh, how long is it now? Oh, I 100 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:41,730 few years. Speak up. I did a few years of training, but I had to stop in 2009. 101 00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,620 Going to help me whip this lot into shape, you? 102 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,880 I'm sure you don't need any help. Of course I don't need no help! 103 00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,430 2009 is in the dark ages. 104 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:55,040 Nursing's moved on so much since then, you probably know less than they do. 105 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:58,710 That said, welcome back. 106 00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:01,160 Right. 107 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,400 Follow me. 108 00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:07,949 These are your placements for the next term, so listen up, because I will say 109 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,000 this only once. 110 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:21,880 And remember, just because they're old, don't mean they're nice. 111 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,240 Do you remember that? 112 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,000 General Ward, with me. 113 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,600 Right, before we start... 114 00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:39,379 I just want to say this is very much a temporary situation. 115 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,460 I'll be able to move into a proper office when my house is sold. 116 00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:43,870 To the swingers? 117 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:47,800 What? Aunty Brenda said you're selling your place to a pair of swingers. 118 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,560 No. No much. 119 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:50,930 It was doggers. 120 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,810 Doggers. Sorry. 121 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,040 Firstly, they're neither. 122 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,379 Secondly, if I can just finish off what I was saying, I know the room seems a 123 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:04,119 bit pokey, but I have 20 years' experience, and I can assure you that 124 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,140 still get a top -quality legal permit. 125 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,020 So, how can I help you? 126 00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,460 We'd like to make our last will and testament. 127 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,880 Ben! Sorry about that. 128 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:25,880 All right, so who would be the main beneficiary of your... Stop for a 129 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,700 Who would be the main beneficiary of your will? 130 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,940 Our little boy. 131 00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:49,120 Right. You've got Mr. Kidney failure and you've got Mr. Diabetes and Anemia. 132 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,350 Now, get to it. 133 00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:53,560 Morris, right then. 134 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,770 See him there? 135 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,200 That is God almighty, Mr. Honey. 136 00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,240 He rules this ward. 137 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,500 with a rod of iron held with a fist of surgical steel. 138 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,460 You never, ever address him directly. 139 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,040 You speak to me and me alone. 140 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,690 Then I'll speak to him and you'll be asked. 141 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,750 Compliment? 142 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,950 Hmm. 143 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,560 Er, Mr Chesney, is that how you say it? 144 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:23,850 Chesney. 145 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,490 Chesney. 146 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:32,599 I need to take a blood test after that. But I'm not... I don't 147 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,620 want to... Don't worry. 148 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,090 I'll be quick. 149 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,450 Hopefully. 150 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,480 And who do we have here? 151 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,130 Stella Morris. 152 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,910 The patient? 153 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,040 Apologies, Mr. Honey, this is... Mr. 154 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,170 Jersey, presented with symptoms of fainting and nausea. 155 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,670 So you're doing an FBC and blood glucose, yes? 156 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,790 Yes, that is correct. 157 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,430 Have you got a squint or something? 158 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,230 No, I was addressing, sister. 159 00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:09,710 Well, go on then. Hurry up. 160 00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:14,330 I'm not a... Don't. It won't hurt. I promise. 161 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,090 I'm not a patient. 162 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,870 I visit my brother. 163 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:48,370 The grand opening is tomorrow night at 7 .30. 164 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:53,810 Tomorrow night, 7 .30. 165 00:10:54,930 --> 00:11:00,449 Now, the food is free, but the bar is paid. So to... Food... Free... 166 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:06,789 Bar... Is... P... A... 167 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,909 I... Yeah, do you have to write everything down? 168 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,530 Oh, I'm a little bit of a detailer. 169 00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:13,560 Called it then, like Sherlock Holmes, but without the hat. 170 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,400 Look at this blender, Dad. 171 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:30,830 Titanium coated. 172 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:33,340 Top of the range. Only 600 quid. 173 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,390 What is that? 174 00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,000 The burglar alarm, look. Security is paramount. 175 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:41,329 I laid down on my coats. 176 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:44,189 Come off it, man. This is pot to bury. Who's going to break in? 177 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,730 If you rob anyone in Abu Dhabi, Carl said they'd take no prisoners. 178 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,530 Literally. Cut your hand off. 179 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,570 Or maybe... Either way, they don't re -offend. 180 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:53,920 How much you spend? 181 00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:58,130 Really? Two grand? 182 00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,509 Sorry, this is all going to have to go back. 183 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:04,530 Hey, pick that up. That means you as well. But you, down, down. Out, out. 184 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,750 Dad, I need these things. 185 00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:09,399 You should go to the covered market in Nice. 186 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,439 They've got everything there. They're cheap. I am not kitting out my kitchen 187 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,360 from an epoxy cupboard market in Neath. 188 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,520 Gordon Ramsay doesn't go to Neath. 189 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:21,030 He's a chef. 190 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,580 Temperamental, like. 191 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,260 Whereabouts in Neath? 192 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,880 Di Davis, it's 9 .30. Where are you? 193 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,510 Shaming it is. 194 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,800 Shaming. What is? 195 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,810 Here I am taking in lodgers to make hens meet. 196 00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:47,570 And Di Davies can't be bothered to turn up to work or to clean up after himself. 197 00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:49,430 Who does he think he is? Bono? 198 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,450 Have you seen him today? 199 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:56,170 Bono? You are not so old I can't put you across my knee, Luke Morgan. 200 00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,010 Di Davies, of course. 201 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,990 The work shy little squirrel. 202 00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:02,150 No, I haven't seen him. 203 00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:10,260 All right, Nurse Dracula? 204 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,390 Oh, God. 205 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,239 That's not what people are calling me, is it? 206 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,290 No, just me. 207 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,410 Well, I can't be the first person to take blood from the wrong patient. 208 00:13:18,411 --> 00:13:20,579 You must have heard of someone doing it before. 209 00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:21,860 Yeah, if you like. 210 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,820 See you at this, will I, ladies? 211 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,820 Self -defence and taekwondo? 212 00:13:27,821 --> 00:13:30,739 Nurses have always had to be handy with their fists. 213 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,720 Florence Nightingale boxed for Oxford. 214 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,140 Is it part of the course? 215 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,700 Earth's call in 2009? 216 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,350 No. You're officially part of the course. 217 00:13:40,351 --> 00:13:42,569 If you don't want to come, that's up to you. 218 00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:45,770 But up here, I make a note of everyone who turns up. 219 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,210 And everyone who can't be bothered. 220 00:13:50,461 --> 00:13:57,569 All I'm saying is if we did a rota, then you and Luke and Mum could take it in 221 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,789 turns to take me driving. Can we talk about this later? I may have a pass at 222 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,709 this, do we? No, I've got clients to see. 223 00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:06,049 Of course you're bastard angry. I dropped your cock in Monster Munch, you 224 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,170 Bloody kids, eh? 225 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:11,510 Can you fit me in? I want to talk about my niece's seat to be shafted by a boss. 226 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,160 Michael, quick question. Is it illegal to pretend to be a dentist? 227 00:14:15,161 --> 00:14:16,489 Why would you ask that? 228 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:17,329 No reason. 229 00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:19,529 But if it is, I might be in a whole world of shite. 230 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,129 Do either of you have an appointment? 231 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:24,009 I tried talking to you, but my phone wasn't... That's what it's like. 232 00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:27,110 Can you just go into the car and I... Quiet! 233 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:30,800 Thank you. 234 00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,410 I am trying to run a professional business here. 235 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:44,100 I've friendly documents round, birth certificates in checks of details, 236 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,330 the lot. 237 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:51,300 Resorting to physical force should only ever be resorted to as a last resort. 238 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,139 If you carry yourself in the right way, then an act of aggression like this 239 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,820 would be completely unnecessary. 240 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:02,259 The best way to avoid physical violence is to be aware of your surroundings and 241 00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:04,020 be prepared to react in a heartbeat. 242 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,020 Take Mrs Wong by ear. 243 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,440 She do have the reaction speed of a mandarin cat. 244 00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,260 So she's always ready for anything in her life to throw at her. 245 00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,160 Hey! All right, calm down now, love. 246 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,130 Panic over. 247 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,530 I got everything we need and at half the price. 248 00:15:24,531 --> 00:15:25,659 Where from? 249 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:26,980 Is that really important? 250 00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,660 And does it matter where or when or how? 251 00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:31,339 You've been to Neath Oven, have you? I have. 252 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:34,480 But don't worry, this is all quality stuff. I got you this whisk. 253 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,570 Thingy that's left -handed? I'm right -handed. 254 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,879 I got your pots and pans and your scales and, hey, look, I got this gizmo for 255 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,140 me. Dad, you don't smoke. 256 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,750 I know, but, you know, it goes with the French thing, doesn't it? 257 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,650 I'm not going to puff on it, I'm just going to hold it. 258 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,740 Sophisticated, like, eh? 259 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,050 Eh? 260 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,310 All right, love? 261 00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:03,849 Just checking, you and little Alan haven't killed each other yet. 262 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,410 Oh, we're getting on great guns. 263 00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:07,010 We're the 80s, aren't we, son? 264 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,830 So, how's your nurse, Brackie? 265 00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,390 Oh, fine, I think. 266 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:15,230 Just survived an encounter with Bruce Lee. 267 00:16:15,231 --> 00:16:16,529 You what? 268 00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:17,449 Oh, nothing. 269 00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,500 I'll tell you later. 270 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,870 Just as long as you're OK. 271 00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:21,889 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't be better. 272 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,570 Dad? Yeah, got to go. 273 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,510 Gordon Ramsay needs me. Bye -bye. 274 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,680 Where's the herbs? 275 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,080 Right here, man. 276 00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,950 You know, I got your sage and sorrel. 277 00:16:31,951 --> 00:16:33,679 Whatever that is. 278 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,740 A rose of pepper and, look, a big bag of salt. 279 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,119 I tell you, it's like Aladdin's cave in that market. I've even got us a burglar 280 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,170 arm, eh? 281 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,440 That's a blender, eh? 282 00:16:44,441 --> 00:16:46,419 What are these symbols on the side? 283 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:49,720 Ah, now, us Chinese, that is. They make everything these days. 284 00:16:49,721 --> 00:16:52,239 But don't worry, I've gone through the manual. 285 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,880 This squiggly line that looks like a hat stand, that's your on button. 286 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:59,090 And the one that looks like an angueter, that's your off. 287 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,530 Which is which? 288 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,570 Angueter? 289 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,810 That's that. 290 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,040 Go on, I'll get it working now. 291 00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:35,229 Go on, then. 292 00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:36,280 Test us. 293 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,780 The theory questions for the driving test. 294 00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:41,069 Jensen Button over here thinks she knows more than I do. 295 00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,590 I don't think I know. 296 00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:46,440 Put that away, Luke, and serve him up. Ben, will you give Michael a shout? 297 00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:47,600 Michael! 298 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,570 That's not quite what I meant. 299 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,380 Five messages I've left for that side, David, and he's still not replied. 300 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:59,550 Disappeared off the face of the earth, he has, like sugar in a Pringle sweater. 301 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:04,110 Oh, this is nice, isn't it? It's proper family dinner like the old days. 302 00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,670 Ben, we're eating. 303 00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:09,609 Mum, can I have dinner in my bedroom with my laptop? 304 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,890 No. Hey, don't leave him alone with the internet. He'll go blind. 305 00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:15,709 He won't be able to read the number plates then. 306 00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:16,850 Oh, man, tell him. 307 00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:21,470 Oh, are we going up on a little belly boy, are we? Oh, get off. 308 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,840 Dinner's on the table. 309 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,030 Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be down now in a minute. 310 00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,930 Do you want me to bring you a plate, sir? Do you mind? 311 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:42,950 God, I love you. 312 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,380 Oh! Bloody room. 313 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,230 Not long now. 314 00:18:48,231 --> 00:18:52,219 As soon as you've found that door, you can get a big flash office and a taxi 315 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,619 secretary. I don't know how a flash office I can get. I won't be much on the 316 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,120 health. And you know what they say, small acorns grow from... 317 00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:02,280 Fields of all sorts, I think. 318 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:03,550 You're just so wise. 319 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,439 I know it's not ideal at the moment, Prash, all of us under one roof, but I 320 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,490 quite like it. 321 00:19:10,491 --> 00:19:12,259 It's like when the kids were little. 322 00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,310 It's cosy. 323 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,500 Well, that's one word for it. 324 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:21,990 I'm fine. 325 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,980 Anyway, I'd better get back to it. 326 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,500 I gave it. It's me again. 327 00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,110 I'm loving you. 328 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,000 Isn't the right thing to do? 329 00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,400 How can I win? Oh, take it from me. 330 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,440 Are you sure about this? Of course I am. 331 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,890 You need more room in there, right? We have files and you need to walk, no? 332 00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,820 He definitely knows what he's doing. 333 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,170 Almost certainly. 334 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:18,499 Right, I've got to run. I'll get you into the hospital and I'll meet you at 335 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,550 party. 336 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,700 Alan's Cafe, the big opening. 337 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,010 Try and have a little shave before tonight, is it? 338 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,960 Is everything all right in there? 339 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,480 Evil wars are like cow filly. 340 00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,380 The cheese, not the tongue. 341 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,380 I'm going to need a bigger drill. 342 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,250 Can I use the room in the meantime? We need to get on. 343 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,680 You remind me of myself, Mike. 344 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,350 A man of action. 345 00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:56,760 You know, I was once lost in the jungles of Cambodia. 346 00:20:56,761 --> 00:20:58,139 It's going to be a long story. 347 00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,060 Medium to long. Any chance I could wait? 348 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,840 Message received and understood. 349 00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:10,910 Oh, great. 350 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:20,200 Come on. 351 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:23,510 Which one of these should we prepare? 352 00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:25,550 Swan or the chevron? 353 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,390 Impossible on Tuesday. 354 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:29,870 We're both stunning. 355 00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,240 Aren't they, Art? 356 00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:33,010 No. I'll ask Lil' Alan. 357 00:21:33,650 --> 00:21:34,700 Lil' Alan! 358 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,700 but it should do my head in. 359 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,180 It's working, isn't it, all this stuff? 360 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,760 Actually, it's pretty good. 361 00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:08,390 Thanks, Dad. 362 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,450 I'm sorry. 363 00:22:10,451 --> 00:22:11,859 What 364 00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:19,459 do 365 00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:20,119 you think? 366 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,170 One or two? 367 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:30,860 Unhealthy or really unhealthy. 368 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,360 I'll sod it. 369 00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,750 Oh, come on. 370 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,390 Aren't you a bit too old to be stealing sweets? 371 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:58,340 It's all stuck, it has. 372 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,640 I can just reach up there. 373 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,600 Oh, flipping heck, I've got cramp. 374 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,240 Relax your arm. 375 00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:09,260 I said relax. 376 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:10,750 Oh, God. 377 00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:12,710 No. 378 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,950 Pull. 379 00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,180 Ah, you bastard. 380 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,500 Sorry, not you. Mr Henny, the machine. 381 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,420 I would never call you a bastard, despite what some people know. 382 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,520 that anyone called you bastard. 383 00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:28,839 Well, not to your face, anyway. 384 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,890 Oh. 385 00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,440 Now I've upset you. 386 00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:32,910 No. 387 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,040 I'm being paged. 388 00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:39,180 You probably think I'm a total donut. 389 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,370 Cheers, Michael. 390 00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,470 You're a star. 391 00:23:57,450 --> 00:23:59,070 Keep your eyes on the road, okay? 392 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,730 Should I go across the roundabout? 393 00:24:03,090 --> 00:24:06,290 Round it, preferably, but yes, keep going as far as you like. 394 00:24:11,310 --> 00:24:12,360 Nice one. 395 00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:22,700 On your break? 396 00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:24,000 Yeah. 397 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,900 So I spent most of it on my knees in front of Mr Honey. 398 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,620 Ooh, going for a promotion? 399 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,090 No. 400 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,400 My bloody vending machine had broken again. I'm starving. 401 00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,800 Well, at least you'll be hungry tonight. 402 00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:39,480 Are they all getting on up there? 403 00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:41,030 I'm not sure. 404 00:24:41,031 --> 00:24:43,879 You know what Alan's like when he's under pressure, especially if they leave 405 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,539 to it. 406 00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:48,020 Yeah. My children see him. He's one big ball of stress at the moment. 407 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,060 Finding it a bit cozier, us all living together. 408 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,960 That's not for long, is it? 409 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,550 Thing is, I don't have a problem with it. 410 00:24:55,551 --> 00:24:58,599 Won't be long before they all move out and the house will be full of empty 411 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,650 rooms. 412 00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:04,380 Oh, God, am I being depressing? 413 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,730 Very. 414 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,020 Come on, I know what you need. 415 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,660 It's all a question of... ..coming. 416 00:25:24,430 --> 00:25:25,480 You're a genius. 417 00:25:25,870 --> 00:25:26,920 I know. 418 00:25:26,921 --> 00:25:30,289 You'd be too late to do that, then. Misspent youth. Not much help for doing 419 00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:30,889 -a -mouth. 420 00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:32,030 What else do you fancy? 421 00:25:33,230 --> 00:25:34,280 I don't know. 422 00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:36,700 Stealing, isn't it? 423 00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:38,140 Yeah, it is. 424 00:25:39,890 --> 00:25:40,970 Bag of ravels? 425 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:47,189 So, when everyone's here, we'll turn the house lights down and then I'll do that 426 00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:49,300 thing with a glass to get their attention. 427 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:58,100 Then I'll say, hello, good evening, and welcome. 428 00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:03,120 Just a little joke to warm him up. 429 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,600 And then I'll do my speech. 430 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,140 Dad, I've got food to cook. 431 00:26:07,141 --> 00:26:09,779 When Carl didn't make speeches, he always made them rhymes. 432 00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:11,160 No matter what the occasion. 433 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,650 And my nan at home really even found a rhyme for chronic cystitis. 434 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,610 Gifted he is. 435 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,280 Oh, my God! 436 00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:25,060 It's not happening. 437 00:26:27,030 --> 00:26:28,080 Oh! 438 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:37,130 Stella Morris, you were acquired back on duty 93 seconds ago. 439 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,570 Sorry, I got a bit, um, caught up. 440 00:26:40,571 --> 00:26:44,589 I won't have you taking advantage of my good nature just because we'll be living 441 00:26:44,590 --> 00:26:45,640 on the same street. 442 00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,210 Sorry, I'm not following you. 443 00:26:47,410 --> 00:26:49,090 Your auntie Brenda needs a lodger. 444 00:26:49,130 --> 00:26:50,210 I'm moving in with her. 445 00:26:50,211 --> 00:26:56,039 I'm going to have to be twice as hard on you from now on, just to show I'm not 446 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,100 biased. It's only fair to the others. 447 00:27:00,011 --> 00:27:01,979 Hey, hey, hey! 448 00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,150 I ain't being poked around no more, right? 449 00:27:04,151 --> 00:27:05,319 If you could lie back down. 450 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,499 I ain't lying, I ain't sitting, I'm nothing else. I'm going home. What have 451 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:09,819 here? You won't stay in bed. 452 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:11,140 Big up. You won't stay in bed. 453 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,200 Sir, I must ask you to return to your bed calmly, quietly and immediately. 454 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:16,750 Piss off. 455 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,970 Very well. 456 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:21,960 But I must warn you, I'm trained in seven different martial arts. 457 00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:28,370 including bok foo, kung foo and... I'm not reacting. 458 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,350 Let go of her right now. 459 00:27:30,351 --> 00:27:31,649 Make me. 460 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,700 I'm keeping calm. 461 00:27:32,701 --> 00:27:35,689 Dewey Phillips, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing? 462 00:27:35,690 --> 00:27:36,529 Who's asking? 463 00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:37,950 Stella Morris, that's who. 464 00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:46,549 All right, Mrs M? Never mind that, good boy. I think you want to be apologised 465 00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:47,890 then. Sorry. 466 00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,190 And what are we going to do now? 467 00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:56,400 Thanks. 468 00:27:57,410 --> 00:27:58,550 Is he a friend of yours? 469 00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:02,550 No. I used to babysit him. Soft as butter, really. 470 00:28:03,230 --> 00:28:05,150 You ain't going to tell my mum, are you? 471 00:28:05,230 --> 00:28:07,150 Well, that depends on you, doesn't it? 472 00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:10,690 Thank you, nurse. 473 00:28:11,570 --> 00:28:12,620 Morris. 474 00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:14,000 Stella. 475 00:28:14,210 --> 00:28:15,950 Stella's my first name, obviously. 476 00:28:16,190 --> 00:28:18,690 Morris. That would make me a bloke. 477 00:28:19,790 --> 00:28:20,840 Wouldn't it? 478 00:28:21,770 --> 00:28:24,070 Why can't we do an emergency stop? In a minute. 479 00:28:24,071 --> 00:28:26,189 All I've been doing is driving up and down. 480 00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:28,029 Do you mind moving the car for me a second? 481 00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:29,449 Will you go easy on the gears? 482 00:28:29,450 --> 00:28:30,500 I am. 483 00:28:31,161 --> 00:28:33,169 Sorry, mate. 484 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:34,350 Assistant. Assistant? 485 00:28:34,650 --> 00:28:40,129 Yes, I'm having a few issues with the photocopier. But I can assure you that I 486 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:43,030 will be just... What the hell are you doing? 487 00:28:54,540 --> 00:28:55,680 Have you seen this man? 488 00:28:55,681 --> 00:28:58,319 Maybe you was cooking with the wrong temperature. 489 00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,660 No, it's the ingredients. 490 00:28:59,661 --> 00:29:00,939 It's got to be. 491 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:04,079 This is quality stuff. I mean, look at the, what do you call them? 492 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,900 Sorrel. And this salt. 493 00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:07,430 50 % off. 494 00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:09,030 Bargain. 495 00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,560 Bar salt. 496 00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,220 I've been cooking with bar salt. 497 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,140 Maybe we could say he was deliberate. 498 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,900 Fancy food like thingy. 499 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:23,130 That's from Bloomingdale. He doesn't cook with bar salt. 500 00:29:23,530 --> 00:29:25,110 He did goat nostrils once. 501 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:27,450 Just as disgusting, if you ask me. 502 00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:30,800 I'll just have to start again and buy new ingredients. 503 00:29:31,610 --> 00:29:32,660 We can't, sir. 504 00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:33,980 We're totally broke. 505 00:29:34,010 --> 00:29:35,810 What? Look at all this stuff I bought. 506 00:29:35,811 --> 00:29:38,309 Take the bloke in the market, give it me for nothing. 507 00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:41,020 Well, you're going to have to get food from somewhere. 508 00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:42,500 Wait. 509 00:29:42,730 --> 00:29:44,050 I may have a brilliant idea. 510 00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,370 No, it's gone. I got... 511 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,290 I know what we can do. 512 00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:56,960 We've had a nightmare at the cafe. 513 00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:59,359 And the thing is, we're supposed to open in like five minutes. And there's been 514 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,399 a problem with Blue Bubble. 515 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,340 Don't know what. And the thing is, we really need some food. 516 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:05,710 Edible glitter. 517 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,300 Tinned figs. 518 00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:10,560 From a proper, genuine Arab I knew in Derby. 519 00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:12,960 Roadkill. I washed the grit off. 520 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:14,890 Mostly. 521 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:16,970 Carrot and sauce. 522 00:30:17,420 --> 00:30:18,760 Two of your five a day. 523 00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:31,060 Do you ever go and try to do it again? Is that right? 524 00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:34,120 Why do you have to shout like that? There has been lorry. 525 00:30:34,561 --> 00:30:36,629 Bloody thing. 526 00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,250 Yanto! Not long now, Bert. 527 00:30:38,790 --> 00:30:39,910 Just a few more holes. 528 00:30:43,870 --> 00:30:44,920 Hello? 529 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,560 Hello? 530 00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:50,430 Sorry, sorry, I can't hear. 531 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,490 What? Why? 532 00:30:55,060 --> 00:30:56,140 Oh, that's brilliant. 533 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,540 That's just brilliant. 534 00:30:57,541 --> 00:31:00,759 Yeah, it's awesome being sarcastic. What did you expect? 535 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,260 Look, I'll call you back later. 536 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,450 What's happening? 537 00:31:03,451 --> 00:31:05,479 Well, this date hasn't. The buyers have pulled out. 538 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,119 The survey found dry rot in the walls and it's going to cost a fortune to fix. 539 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,039 Which means they can't sell the house until we do, but they can't afford to 540 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,339 it fixed because they don't have any money, which is why it's selling the 541 00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:15,390 in the first place. 542 00:31:15,391 --> 00:31:17,779 Yes, I'm aware I'm ranting, Zoe, and I'm sorry. 543 00:31:17,780 --> 00:31:18,830 Yento! 544 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,050 Yento! 545 00:31:32,139 --> 00:31:33,639 Told you them walls were shite. 546 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,890 Fresh garlic bread. 547 00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:58,820 The food's free, but they pay for the drink, all right? 548 00:31:58,821 --> 00:32:01,419 You do know it says free food and drink on the poster? 549 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,680 No, it says free food, full stop, and drink. It's very clear. 550 00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,620 So where to is the food, then? 551 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:08,370 It's coming. 552 00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:09,430 It's coming. 553 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,180 Excuse me. On its way. 554 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:14,750 Alan. 555 00:32:14,751 --> 00:32:18,179 Alan, you're going to have to calm down or you'll start scratching. You know 556 00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:18,979 what you're doing. 557 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,660 What the hell's he doing in there? 558 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:21,850 Calm, Mr. Genius. 559 00:32:21,851 --> 00:32:23,959 I can't keep them waiting much longer. 560 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,690 Don't think about the very folk when they're hungry. They can get very ugly. 561 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,040 You pacing up and down isn't going to make it go any quicker. 562 00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:35,800 Take this water to table ten. 563 00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:37,950 All right. 564 00:32:39,771 --> 00:32:41,659 How's he doing? 565 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:42,710 Not good? 566 00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,980 Have you started the scratching? 567 00:32:45,140 --> 00:32:48,340 Not yet, but if he's going that way... We are late, mind. 568 00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:50,729 Talking witch, where to is Michael? 569 00:32:50,730 --> 00:32:51,910 He should be here by now. 570 00:32:52,570 --> 00:32:54,750 Yanto, is Michael at home? 571 00:32:54,751 --> 00:32:56,609 And he's not picking up the phone. 572 00:32:56,610 --> 00:32:59,790 My lips are sealed with wax like a mini baby bear. 573 00:33:02,290 --> 00:33:08,810 I've left message after message telling him to call me, but still not to pick. 574 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,330 It'll be two days now. 575 00:33:11,010 --> 00:33:12,350 Cheeky cotton bastard. 576 00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,310 I mean, how much longer do I have to wait? 577 00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:16,770 Do my best, all right? 578 00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:24,249 I'm sorry, little lad, but they told me to get the mouth out, yeah? I heard one 579 00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,910 woman mention a stampede. Hold on. 580 00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:29,310 Daddy? I don't know. I just don't know. 581 00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:38,689 Braised rabbit casserole in a rich fig gravy, caramelised carrot puree and... 582 00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:41,430 straw garnish. 583 00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:43,560 Hello. 584 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:49,160 Hello. 585 00:34:08,650 --> 00:34:09,770 Ladies and gents. 586 00:34:13,130 --> 00:34:15,650 Sorry for the delay, as you know. 587 00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:18,240 We've had a little bit of trouble today, but... 588 00:34:18,241 --> 00:34:20,579 Sorry, can I just have a bit of hash, please? 589 00:34:20,580 --> 00:34:22,239 Thank you. 590 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:23,550 Thank you. 591 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,370 Oh! 592 00:34:30,780 --> 00:34:32,679 I think the thieves have gone. 593 00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:34,310 OK, hang on. 594 00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:40,320 There we go. 595 00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:44,139 Right, well, first of all, I just want to say a big thank you for coming. 596 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:47,380 It's lovely to see so many faces here. 597 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:53,400 And, um... I'm just really bloody proud to be honest with you. 598 00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,460 Of, uh... You know. 599 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:04,919 But before you tuck into the food, courtesy of the cafe 600 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,820 de Les Allens, I'd like to say a few words. 601 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:16,180 Firstly... Sorry about that. 602 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,250 A new alarm. 603 00:35:17,251 --> 00:35:19,039 Probably just resetting itself. 604 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,090 Chinese. 605 00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:21,470 Very high end. 606 00:35:21,940 --> 00:35:22,990 Now, where was I? 607 00:35:22,991 --> 00:35:27,099 Yes, I'd like to say a big thank you to everybody who donated food this evening. 608 00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:31,479 We couldn't have done it without you. And secondly, I'd like to say a thank 609 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,460 to my lovely... It's the motion. 610 00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,060 Very sensitive. 611 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,250 Top of the range. 612 00:35:40,580 --> 00:35:41,630 Chinese! 613 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,390 People, just stand still, please. I'm sure we'll go quiet and stop. 614 00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:59,079 Welcome one and all to what I'm sure will be a great evening at the Café de 615 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,839 Allens. Eat, drink and be merry, but most of all drink. That'll really help 616 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,460 profits. So, cheers. 617 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,170 Cheers! 618 00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,720 Right, let's stop! 619 00:36:10,721 --> 00:36:11,879 There we are! 620 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,080 Down completely still! 621 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:18,690 Thank you. 622 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,620 Now, please, nobody move while we reset the alarm. 623 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:24,700 Stay still. 624 00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:31,999 Who wants 625 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:37,100 champagne? 626 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,700 It's free. 627 00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:10,470 Seen something similar in Nam. 628 00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:12,590 Nam? Chippin' Nam. 629 00:37:13,450 --> 00:37:17,270 The recourse on disabling alarms and security systems. 630 00:37:18,050 --> 00:37:19,100 Okay. 631 00:37:25,090 --> 00:37:26,140 Slowly. 632 00:37:27,830 --> 00:37:28,880 Slowly. 633 00:37:34,410 --> 00:37:35,650 Come to daddy. 634 00:37:38,940 --> 00:37:39,990 Sorted. 635 00:37:41,340 --> 00:37:42,390 Yeah, 636 00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:44,540 that can't happen sometimes. 637 00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:47,750 Auntie Brenda. 638 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,370 How's it hanging? 639 00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:52,680 You tell me, good boy. 640 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,479 Not to hide her hair from you for days, and then you waltz in like Lord Lucan 641 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,400 with new teeth and a crate of champagne. 642 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,619 I can explain. I'm bad enough in the current financial climate, what with 643 00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:04,670 tightening and... 644 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,460 facts on the internet. You owe me an apology, David, and no mistake. 645 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,720 I'm sorry. Oh, it's way too late to say sorry. 646 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,630 Now, stop your watercolour. Tell me where you've been. 647 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,920 I've been collecting my winnings. 648 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,340 Winnings? What winnings? 649 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,980 My premium bonds came in. 650 00:38:23,460 --> 00:38:25,000 I won a million quid. 651 00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:41,470 Yes, 652 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,220 and so say all of us. 653 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,220 Cheers. Thank you. 654 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:55,040 And can I assure you that winning this money won't change me at all? 655 00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:56,470 Lend us 50 quid, then. 656 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,850 No. 657 00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,200 The good Lord is looking down on Pomp de Berry today. 658 00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:03,940 This money is exact. 659 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,540 Exactly what we've always needed, a major investment of capital. 660 00:39:07,541 --> 00:39:09,919 Yes, this will really change things for me. 661 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:14,440 New buses, new signs, an advertising campaign. 662 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:16,020 Do you think what we can do? 663 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,380 I'm planning to do quite a lot, yes. 664 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,160 This is a game -changer for us. For me, yes. 665 00:39:23,020 --> 00:39:25,420 Congratulations, Bud. Thank you. Thank you. 666 00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:32,640 Where have you been? 667 00:39:32,641 --> 00:39:36,519 It's a secret. I kind of need to show you rather than tell you. Why are you so 668 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,570 filthy? 669 00:39:37,571 --> 00:39:41,879 Seriously, Michael, what have you been doing? I thought you were going to be 670 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,339 here. Come home with me and I'll explain everything. 671 00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:46,020 Come on, you are going to love this. 672 00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,640 Just be patient, will you? 673 00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:07,790 One. 674 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,430 Surprise! 675 00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:14,520 Oh, my God. 676 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,540 OK, just hear me out. What have you done? 677 00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:20,239 The house fell through today. Yeah, I can see that. 678 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,039 No, I mean, the buyer pulled out. Turns out we've got dry rot in the walls and 679 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:27,019 it's going to cost a packet to fix. Michael! I know, nightmare, right? Or is 680 00:40:27,020 --> 00:40:28,679 in fact the best thing that could have happened? 681 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,199 I mean, we've all been on top of each other recently. 682 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,179 And this is so obvious, it's brilliant. I thought, why not make use of the space 683 00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:35,199 we already have? 684 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,379 So you did this on purpose? 685 00:40:36,380 --> 00:40:39,439 Well, you said it was nice that we're all under one roof, so it's your idea, 686 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,490 really. 687 00:40:40,491 --> 00:40:45,819 Luke, Zoe and the kids can live at mine. I can have their room as an office. 688 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:48,919 Obviously, this whole needs cleaning up, but Yanto's back in the morning, and 689 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,780 once it's done, it solves everything. 690 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,440 Are you having a nervous breakdown? 691 00:40:55,441 --> 00:40:59,559 Plus, we can put the rent from Luke and Zoe towards sourcing out the dry rot. 692 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,589 What rent? 693 00:41:00,590 --> 00:41:01,750 I'm not a charity, Stel. 694 00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:04,489 And once it's all done and we're back on our feet, I'm going to look to sell 695 00:41:04,490 --> 00:41:08,290 again. How can you sell this house with a creepy bloody hole in the wall? 696 00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:09,600 It's temporary. 697 00:41:09,830 --> 00:41:10,880 Mind out. 698 00:41:10,881 --> 00:41:14,009 She's taking it better than I thought, but... You don't think this is a good 699 00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:15,060 idea, do you? 700 00:41:15,330 --> 00:41:16,890 It's better for Sophie and Jack. 701 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,269 Let's face it, we were getting under each other's feet. 702 00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:20,069 Were we? 703 00:41:20,070 --> 00:41:23,140 And I'm going to be paying rent. I'm not freeloading, I mean it. 704 00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:26,360 See? 705 00:41:33,740 --> 00:41:34,790 How did we do, Dad? 706 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,000 Not too bad, little Al, not too bad. 707 00:41:37,001 --> 00:41:39,179 First night's always tricky. 708 00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:40,230 That's what they say. 709 00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:41,710 Yeah. 710 00:41:41,860 --> 00:41:46,320 We might have to be a bit more frugal from now on. Tighten belts, pull up 711 00:41:46,321 --> 00:41:47,479 that sort of thing. 712 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,020 The food was fantastic, little Al. 713 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:51,580 Everyone said so. 714 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,480 Did we actually make any money? 715 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,850 Yes and no. 716 00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:00,350 Mainly no. 717 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,300 But we're a great team, though, eh? 718 00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:05,580 This place isn't until the time I storm. 719 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:06,810 You really think so? 720 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,210 Do you? 721 00:42:09,540 --> 00:42:10,590 Definitely. 722 00:42:41,610 --> 00:42:42,750 Everything all right? 723 00:42:43,510 --> 00:42:44,560 Perfect. 724 00:42:51,590 --> 00:42:52,640 There you go. 725 00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:15,040 How's it looking next door? 726 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:18,780 OK, I admit you weren't a complete idiot with the wall. 727 00:43:18,781 --> 00:43:20,119 You're too kind. 728 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,739 And we are still all living under one roof, technically. 729 00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:23,820 Which is warming to it. 730 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,570 And I know it's going to make it easier for you. 731 00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:31,340 So... What I'm saying is I can live with it for a while, like. 732 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,010 Well, thank you. 733 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,170 I won't go on. You're probably charging me for your time. 734 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,370 By the way, you're going to have to look sexy covered in dust. 735 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:43,650 Hey, good boy. 736 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,360 Much harassment, that is. 737 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,100 Maybe you should call a lawyer. 738 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,890 I will. 739 00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:51,740 I'm going to call the best lawyer in the West. 740 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,290 I will. 741 00:43:55,751 --> 00:44:02,259 Like I said, I don't want to get no one in trouble. Maybe I shouldn't have come 742 00:44:02,260 --> 00:44:04,850 here. This sounds very much like sexual harassment. 743 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,330 Hey, Mr. Lawyer. 744 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:10,610 Beyonce. 745 00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:12,810 This is your final warning? 746 00:44:12,950 --> 00:44:14,270 We've got so much in common. 747 00:44:14,450 --> 00:44:15,500 Where have you been? 748 00:44:15,501 --> 00:44:18,089 Sorry, I've lost track of time. I should have called. 749 00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:19,139 Yeah, you should. 750 00:44:19,140 --> 00:44:23,690 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 55454

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