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1
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:15,689
You do? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm on
drugs. And we want Alan Williams to do
2
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:16,740
it. Do?
3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,900
Yes.
4
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:20,410
And I love you.
5
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:23,490
I can't stop thinking about you.
6
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,530
Nice to meet you.
7
00:00:26,950 --> 00:00:28,000
Hello. Hi.
8
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,920
What's going on? It might go.
9
00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:16,910
Bloody hell.
10
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,120
I know. It's immense.
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00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,950
You've got French bread and chocolate
muffins.
12
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,840
Hey, what are you doing? Put it back.
13
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I want a muffin.
14
00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:25,460
Oh, good God. Who's that?
15
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,439
No one.
16
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:27,490
Tom, go home.
17
00:01:27,491 --> 00:01:28,639
I can't move.
18
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,399
Is he your boyfriend?
19
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,450
No.
20
00:01:30,451 --> 00:01:34,459
Emma never came home last night. Yeah,
well, she met up with an old friend or
21
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,600
something. Yeah, right.
22
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,980
Slapper. Shut up, Ben.
23
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:42,630
And put that bloody muffin back. You
can't just take things, can't you, Will?
24
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,240
It's me.
25
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,490
Great night, wasn't it?
26
00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:52,550
Hey, listen, do me a call. Let me know
you're all right.
27
00:01:53,370 --> 00:01:54,420
Ciao.
28
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:02,430
Ben, why do you always take all the
milk? You're so selfish.
29
00:02:02,431 --> 00:02:04,069
My fin.
30
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,120
Shut up, Tom.
31
00:02:16,910 --> 00:02:18,710
Do as I say, not as I do.
32
00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,100
All right?
33
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,320
Perfect shoes for the walk of shame,
these.
34
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,440
I'm sorry, I can't give you a lift,
but... Don't be daft.
35
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:40,000
I've booked a taxi from the end of the
road.
36
00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:44,030
Anna, you'll be all right today.
37
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,880
Just don't moan, OK?
38
00:02:58,570 --> 00:03:01,400
Thanks for looking after me. Oh, look at
the closing ring.
39
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,320
All right?
40
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:04,640
Yeah.
41
00:03:04,641 --> 00:03:07,649
Me and him, we'd quite a night of it
like, night of me press.
42
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,270
Yeah, certainly looked that way.
43
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,170
Oh, have you heard of Ryland?
44
00:03:12,970 --> 00:03:14,020
Who? Goodbye.
45
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:15,740
See you later.
46
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:16,840
Baby.
47
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,500
What?
48
00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:21,840
I'm not judging.
49
00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:25,129
In fact, my cousin's seeing someone 20
years younger, and he's doing her the
50
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:25,689
world of good.
51
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:27,350
Sorry? You're, uh...
52
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,630
Your boyfriend.
53
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,260
Don't be ridiculous. It's just Tom, that
is.
54
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,520
Oh, by the way, your food shop's been
and gone.
55
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,340
What? It's at half past.
56
00:03:38,341 --> 00:03:39,419
Don't worry.
57
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,540
He left it all at mine.
58
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,340
Well, come and get it, then. I haven't
got all day.
59
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,700
And are you aware of the dress code for
tomorrow night?
60
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:55,300
Black tie, Auntie Tanisha told me.
61
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:59,519
Good. Well, we're off to deliver these,
aren't we, Abraha? When I get back, I'm
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00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,260
going to teach you all about lost
leaders. Is it a game?
63
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,640
Like Candy Crush?
64
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,040
No, it's a technique for attracting
passing trade.
65
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,770
Fascinating area.
66
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,040
Great. I can't wait.
67
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,680
Let's go, Abraha.
68
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:20,110
Right, get yourself over here now, you
big old bitey crab.
69
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,600
Exfoliate there. Thank you.
70
00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,979
How come they don't bag it up here?
71
00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:30,810
Well, I said not to. You know,
environment, plastic bags.
72
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,450
So, do you want to borrow some of mine,
then?
73
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,890
Um, please.
74
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,660
Oh, this is yours, too.
75
00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:42,579
It's half empty.
76
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:45,890
Yeah, I borrowed a drop, I did. But in
my tea, you don't mind, do you?
77
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,899
No, not that. Oh, and, um, Ben had a bit
of an accident with one of your
78
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:50,950
muffins.
79
00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:53,699
What, did it accidentally fall into his
mouth?
80
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,410
Yeah, I told him not to, but you know
what kids are like.
81
00:04:56,411 --> 00:04:58,609
So, essentially, you've been pilfering
my groceries.
82
00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:01,309
You are? No, it's fine. Oh, I'll pay you
back. No, I don't want you to pay me
83
00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,570
back. I just said it's fine.
84
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,229
I'm sorry, Michael, but I will not be
besmirched in my own home. I was not
85
00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:09,849
besmirching. Yes, you were. You were
basically accusing me of theft when all
86
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:13,280
did was take the tiniest bit of milk and
put it in my teeth. Half a point.
87
00:05:13,281 --> 00:05:15,529
If that's not besmirching, then I don't
know what is.
88
00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:16,549
Objection, Your Honour.
89
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,959
Overruled. I am more than willing to
refund your costs, but I put it to you
90
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,839
in comparison with the re -delivery
charge you'd incur, not to mention use
91
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,019
bags, half a pint of milk... Don't
forget the chocolate muffin. ..plus the
92
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,550
part of a chocolate muffin is an
absolute bargain.
93
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,830
Do you rest your case? Yes, I rest my
case.
94
00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:32,910
Is that my bacon?
95
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,420
Yes, it's your bacon. Thank you.
96
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,300
Here. You can keep the milk.
97
00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:38,840
I can't stop. I'm late.
98
00:05:38,841 --> 00:05:42,599
Whoa! What's your horses, young lady?
You got enough time to tell me where you
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00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,650
stayed last night?
100
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:44,830
Ma 'am, I'm 19.
101
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,090
And I'm nosy.
102
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,620
Amy's, all right. I said Amy.
103
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,990
Well, that's funny, because she came
home in the back with that.
104
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,250
Not Amy Edwards.
105
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:55,800
Amy Parker from college.
106
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,160
God, ma 'am, you're unbelievable.
107
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,000
What do you want to do?
108
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,170
Oh, Jack.
109
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:11,599
Jack? Ah, he was good as gold, he was,
for me last night. But then I think he
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00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,260
finds me very calming.
111
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,880
I come bearing tickets, my friend.
112
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:21,980
Cheers, Jack. You never said you was
going tomorrow night.
113
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:24,159
Since when are you my social secretary?
114
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,960
There's nothing social about today.
115
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:27,260
It's a business event.
116
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:31,800
Actually, it's a charity dinner. It's so
much more than a charity dinner,
117
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,879
Jagadish Chowdhury. Is it? It's an
opportunity for the entire Pogdeberry
118
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:42,000
Fraternity to gather together in one
place, which is why I want you on my
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00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:45,110
We've got a lot in common, you and me.
120
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:48,910
What with you being a small business
person of high standing.
121
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:53,190
I look forward to it, Auntie Brenda. And
I plan to bring my niece.
122
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,250
Broaden her horizons.
123
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:58,370
She looks like she do enjoy a bit of
broadening, that one.
124
00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,820
I'm a small business person of high
standing.
125
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,230
Why can't I sit at the table?
126
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:07,170
Right then, go to them white ones out.
127
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,260
Ah, hello.
128
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,030
I have two spare tickets available for
tomorrow.
129
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,520
Can I persuade you to take them off my
hand?
130
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,030
You would need to bring somebody, of
course.
131
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,130
Right.
132
00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:28,099
I've got a bone to pick with you.
133
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,150
What?
134
00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:32,979
Sneaking away early last night, you
missed all the fun. Mrs Wong copped off
135
00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:34,030
riling bodyguard.
136
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:35,110
Did she?
137
00:07:35,111 --> 00:07:38,399
Stock room today, please. I'm out of
places. That's it.
138
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,450
OK.
139
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,220
You took your time.
140
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,180
Yeah, I knows it.
141
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,479
Sorry, boot.
142
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,380
Well, you'll just have to be punished.
143
00:07:55,381 --> 00:07:56,619
Go on.
144
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:57,940
Strike the naughty corner.
145
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,960
Oh, man, I loved the naughty corner.
146
00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:14,620
Okay.
147
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:19,729
This is Wong Byer of the 312 bus with
catheter insertion. A delicate procedure
148
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,850
that requires both accuracy, confidence,
and ambition.
149
00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:27,969
Number one, always inform the patient of
what you are up to. If there is even a
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00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:31,970
hint of surprise in a procedure like
this, you set yourself up for a whoo.
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00:08:32,409 --> 00:08:33,459
world of pain.
152
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:37,530
You'll cause clenching, shouting,
leaking, you name it.
153
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,010
And that's just you, never mind the
patient.
154
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,370
Okay, people, what I did there was I
made a joke.
155
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:50,589
And I put everyone at their ease.
Remember that humour and tube insertion
156
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:51,690
go hand in hand.
157
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,650
Now, let's get this show on the road.
158
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:56,580
Stella.
159
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:03,420
As predicted, You look rancid.
160
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,420
And your responses are slow.
161
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,540
Even Mrs Wong by ear looks more alive
than you do.
162
00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:13,219
Go out on a weeknight again, and I'll be
forced to give you a fixed penalty
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00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,270
punt. Ka -plum!
164
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,340
Now, start inserting.
165
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,820
Might I have a quick word?
166
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,070
Er, might I say no?
167
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:28,740
It's about the dinner.
168
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:33,429
Now... Obviously, it's a big thing, my
going with Andy this year for the first
169
00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:34,480
time and not you.
170
00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:36,709
It's not like people don't know we're
divorced.
171
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:39,190
I thought you could take Casey as your
plus one.
172
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,629
Sorry? Well, so you don't have to go on
your own.
173
00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:42,710
I'm not going on my own.
174
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,100
I've got a date.
175
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:45,710
Well, good for you.
176
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,150
Yeah. Who is she?
177
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,510
Pardon? Your date.
178
00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:51,080
Who are you taking?
179
00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:53,849
Does it matter who I'm taking? I mean,
what difference does it make?
180
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,409
It doesn't matter who you're taking.
181
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:56,810
Oh, don't you fit.
182
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,730
Stella, OK? I'm taking Stella.
183
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,040
A little fat woman from next door. Yes,
all right.
184
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:03,240
Now can I get on?
185
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:26,530
Why are you here? There's no hospital
shut for Thursdays.
186
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:28,050
I know. Um...
187
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,780
It's about our... date.
188
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:33,910
Well, go on, then.
189
00:10:33,911 --> 00:10:37,739
Don't mind Shirley. I'll tell you
everything, don't I?
190
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:38,790
Oh, OK.
191
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:45,259
Well, I'm worried it might be a bit over
the top for a first date, but how do
192
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:46,460
you fancy going to live?
193
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,170
Blimey.
194
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,430
It's too much, isn't it? I always go
wrong.
195
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,520
Why? How many dates do you go on?
196
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,870
What?
197
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,209
What do you think, Shirley? Will I enjoy
it?
198
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,770
A bit of dinner, a bit of dancing.
199
00:10:58,771 --> 00:10:59,649
A raffle.
200
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,700
And a raffle.
201
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:02,240
How can I resist?
202
00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:04,930
Brilliant. Well, I'll see you later.
203
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,260
Yeah.
204
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:08,040
You will.
205
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:19,970
Ah, hi.
206
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,980
Glad I caught you.
207
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,060
What do you want?
208
00:11:24,061 --> 00:11:25,279
I just wanted to apologise.
209
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,059
I think we got our wires crossed earlier
over the shopping. I was only larking
210
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:29,860
about, so I'm sorry if I offended you.
211
00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:30,939
It was nothing.
212
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:34,320
I'd hang over, so... Look, I've got to
get on.
213
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,770
Mind if I join you?
214
00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:38,399
I'm just taking him round the block for
a wee.
215
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,450
Oh, lovely.
216
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:45,260
I've been stuck in the office all day,
so... This is nice.
217
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,520
Reservoirs of Ponterbury.
218
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,800
Ponterbury. Ponterbury.
219
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,040
I like your coat.
220
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,760
All right. What do you have?
221
00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:57,230
Michael Cock in Jackson, LL Bastardby.
222
00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:58,970
Just the man I'm looking for.
223
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:00,380
Sorry, do I know you?
224
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:03,409
Hey, cracking cocking night last night
when I was down?
225
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,460
Yeah, superb.
226
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,340
What it is, my husband's mother have
gone demented.
227
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,770
So we've stuck her in a home.
228
00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:12,529
Now, is he entitled to move into her
house? Or do we have to share it with
229
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,489
bastard sister?
230
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:16,649
Even though she've not seen hair nor
hound of their mother for the past 40
231
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:21,130
cocking years. Sorry, I don't, um... Go
to, um, Citizen's Advice.
232
00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:22,840
OK?
233
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,660
Well... Thanks for that, cheap.
234
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,580
Call yourself a solicitor.
235
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,570
I've had better legal advice off that
bastard dog.
236
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,510
Oh, what now?
237
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:37,840
Anyway, the thing is, I just wondered if
you wanted to come to a ball with me.
238
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:40,400
A ball? Well, not a ball ball.
239
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,730
Just a charity dinner dance, really. We
do it every year. It's a lot of fun.
240
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,670
Nah, it's not really my cup of tea, to
be honest.
241
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,850
There's a raffle.
242
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840
Raffles are one big scam.
243
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,659
Donna Macken, who, by the way, is on the
PTA, wins the dinner for two at
244
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,180
Brotchies every year.
245
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,240
Every year. Please come.
246
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:03,300
Sorry? Please, just come as a favour to
me because... Because what?
247
00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:06,999
Because I've already told my ex -wife
that you're coming. I panicked.
248
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,050
Oh, charming.
249
00:13:08,051 --> 00:13:12,219
So it's not like you enjoy my company or
you find me attractive or anything like
250
00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,270
that.
251
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:15,979
Attractive? Well, I hadn't thought about
it. Of course I'll come.
252
00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:17,280
Really? Thank God.
253
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,799
You'll have to pay, because I'm skint.
254
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,850
Totally, of course.
255
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,790
Welcome home.
256
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:33,319
Where's Jack?
257
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,980
We just dropped him at my mum's.
258
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,230
We went there to tell her our big news,
like. What big news?
259
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,520
Hiya, congratulations are in order.
260
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,310
What have you done, Al? Luke, what's
going on?
261
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,660
Look, I asked Zoe.
262
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,440
They're getting married still.
263
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:52,339
And not a moment too soon, at last, a
bit of joy in his tragic mess of a life
264
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,390
a cage. Shut up!
265
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,680
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
266
00:13:58,260 --> 00:13:59,340
Why, easy.
267
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,270
Oh!
268
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,190
Ah,
269
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,380
finished.
270
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,820
Never underestimate the power of a to
-do list.
271
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,980
I'll try really hard not to, Uncle.
272
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,779
For months I've been meaning to do all
these things. The day I make a list,
273
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:23,830
all get done.
274
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,480
Replace the front mast.
275
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,080
Check. Clean out the penny -chew bucket.
276
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,660
Check. Oil the door.
277
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,160
Check. Fix the blind spot on the CCTV.
278
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,760
Oh, you did this when?
279
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,300
First thing this morning.
280
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,610
Why do you ask?
281
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,850
No reason.
282
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,940
Other than a strong desire to learn.
283
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:52,350
Excellent. And I've seen your nuts.
284
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:57,309
Big bloody jar of them stuck behind the
tea urn. Don't think it's gone
285
00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:01,770
unnoticed. You nibbling away all day
like Tusty the sodding squirrel.
286
00:15:01,771 --> 00:15:05,869
Yeah? Well, how am I supposed to laugh
till tea time on what she tells us to
287
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:08,650
eat? I'm a grown man, man. Them
starvation portions.
288
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,260
Right then, you lot.
289
00:15:10,430 --> 00:15:11,790
To court will I am.
290
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,570
Everybody in the club?
291
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,540
All eyes on us.
292
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,570
Well, all eyes on me, really, but...
Sorry, did he... Not everyone's here
293
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,640
Dieting waits for no woman, Alan.
294
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,280
You just ask Kirsty Alley.
295
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,740
Oh, it's you.
296
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,550
Charming.
297
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,940
I thought it might be Celia.
298
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:33,699
I've asked her to that gala thing
tomorrow night. Oh, I'm going that.
299
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,619
Who is?
300
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:35,670
Fella next door.
301
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:41,500
Oh, it's not like that. I'm just doing
him a favour, that's all.
302
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,790
OK.
303
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:47,590
It hasn't escaped my notice that some of
you are on a night out tomorrow night.
304
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,450
And I can't say I approve.
305
00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:50,909
You are going?
306
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:54,729
Yes, but I'm not locked in combat with a
high dependency on carbohydrates and my
307
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,689
anti -brender.
308
00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:58,970
In my opinion, a night out or a date.
309
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:03,029
I'm not going on a date. It's tantamount
to an additional car crash to be
310
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,250
avoided at all costs.
311
00:16:04,251 --> 00:16:08,129
To be honest, if I was in your shape,
I'd be taking the Mariah Carey approach
312
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,870
and living in a cupboard for a month.
313
00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:35,720
It's my mum.
314
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:37,680
Oh?
315
00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:38,960
Where are you now?
316
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:42,740
Why? Because I haven't seen you all day
and loads have happened.
317
00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:47,010
I'm not sure about me to the gala dinner
thing. I'm going to have to do my hair.
318
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:54,910
Right. Beth, the big news is that Luke
and Zoe are getting married.
319
00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:57,700
Right.
320
00:16:58,610 --> 00:16:59,990
Do you know what I just said?
321
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,270
What? Yeah, that one again.
322
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,660
I know, isn't it?
323
00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:08,279
Are you all right?
324
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,330
Yeah, sorry.
325
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,919
Look, Mum, I'll call you in a bit.
326
00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:13,299
I'm in the middle of some other mob.
327
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:20,750
Parvati?
328
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,290
Parvati?
329
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,640
Oh, shit.
330
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,129
Sorry, Uncle.
331
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,740
You just gave me a bit of a shock.
332
00:17:28,741 --> 00:17:29,799
What is this?
333
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,979
Oh, it was just a bit quiet and I
thought I'd use the time to learn about
334
00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:36,260
CCTV in case it ever fails.
335
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,240
Excellent. I admire your enthusiasm.
336
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:40,219
Thank you.
337
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,479
So, let's have a look, then.
338
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,859
What? No, actually, because I just
remembered I've got some shop -type
339
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:48,899
do that you wanted me to do that I
haven't done yet, so...
340
00:17:48,900 --> 00:18:01,419
This
341
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,160
is quite a bad situation, isn't it?
342
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,800
Gawkers? Keckers.
343
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,860
You have had intimate relations in my
shop with... Gawkers?
344
00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:13,880
Checkers, uncle. If it's any
consolation, I only let them go down by
345
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,240
You have abused my trust.
346
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,100
But I'm... I am ashamed of you.
347
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:28,479
Does this mean I can't go to the ball
now?
348
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,830
Only I've got my outfit sorted and
everything.
349
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,060
Nice cup of tea.
350
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:43,740
Oh,
351
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,220
don't mind me.
352
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:49,280
We were just going over the last few
details for tonight.
353
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:52,409
Right, what time do you want me there
for the welcome address and stuff?
354
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:53,460
Er, John?
355
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:59,650
Er, look, we thought that Andy might do
it this year, just for a change.
356
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,280
Fine, whatever.
357
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:05,200
You know what you could be in charge of?
The raffle.
358
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,320
Do the raffle.
359
00:19:06,899 --> 00:19:09,000
So that's all I'm good for now, is it?
360
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,030
Fine,
361
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:13,060
OK, I'll do the poxy raffle.
362
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:14,610
You happy now?
363
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:20,140
Thing is, Al, you've just got to be
yourself with this, Celia.
364
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,100
You might be dressed up like George
Clooney, but just go and act as who you
365
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,590
not because you're some unattainable
film star.
366
00:19:27,591 --> 00:19:30,579
So what you're saying is I'm average
-looking and very available?
367
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:33,230
You're not average -looking, you're very
handsome.
368
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,560
And very lovely.
369
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,850
She's a lucky girl.
370
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,150
Thanks, Dad.
371
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:39,499
It's just been a long time since I did
all this, you know.
372
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,550
Right.
373
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,050
Here goes.
374
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,200
I feel a bit of a twat, to be honest.
375
00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,420
Well, you don't look a bit of a twat.
376
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,620
No. We'll do with me.
377
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,020
if my mum comes in today to get her hair
done.
378
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:09,280
I don't mind doing her like, only she
got some due on this evening.
379
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:10,500
Gala dinner thing?
380
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,349
Oh, the charity night up at the manor
house? Yeah, I think so.
381
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:14,309
I'm going to that.
382
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,109
Are you?
383
00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:17,220
Yeah, a lot of local business people
come.
384
00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,710
Thanks. I'll see you tonight.
385
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:21,940
Bye.
386
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:42,649
Emma, slow down. You're going way too
fast.
387
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:43,369
Am I?
388
00:20:43,370 --> 00:20:46,409
Yeah, it's got to be the balls of the
fingers, not the actual fingertips.
389
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:47,460
Right.
390
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:50,760
Here.
391
00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,120
Press firmly.
392
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:57,910
And start with the nape of the neck.
393
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,590
And move up to behind the ears.
394
00:21:02,681 --> 00:21:04,629
You got that?
395
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,680
Mm -hm.
396
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:07,280
Yeah.
397
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,620
So we got that.
398
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,810
I'm just going to get some more
conditioner, Mrs. Peer.
399
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,680
Oh, my God.
400
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,930
What are you like?
401
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,090
It's your fault.
402
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,330
Oh,
403
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:24,520
don't go tonight.
404
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:26,480
Let me stay over again.
405
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:27,910
I have to go.
406
00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:29,120
But I'm desperate.
407
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:31,030
How desperate?
408
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,420
Really fucking desperate.
409
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,130
Yeah?
410
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,290
Your mum's here?
411
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:41,249
She brought Alan with her. He wants to
do it and all.
412
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:42,549
Well, you're confirming, can't you?
413
00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:45,969
But he's gone away. What am I supposed
to do with him? Just buff him up, is
414
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:47,290
there? Make him all shiny?
415
00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:55,230
Hi, Michael Jackson.
416
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,529
Got an appointment.
417
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:57,790
Ah, yeah, you with Lauren.
418
00:21:58,530 --> 00:21:59,580
Louie!
419
00:21:59,581 --> 00:22:01,449
Oh, hello there.
420
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,010
Here's my date for this evening.
421
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,030
Well, it's not actually a date.
422
00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:09,089
Oh, look at him going all red now. He's
one of the organisers, he is, Amy, so he
423
00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:11,669
can't very well turn up without a
beautiful woman on his arm.
424
00:22:11,670 --> 00:22:12,750
And I'm very grateful.
425
00:22:13,850 --> 00:22:17,010
Hey, Michael, I was thinking, I quite
fancy going tonight.
426
00:22:17,530 --> 00:22:18,580
Do you?
427
00:22:18,581 --> 00:22:20,649
Don't suppose there's any tickets left,
are there?
428
00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:22,450
I can probably get you one. Oh, wicked.
429
00:22:27,570 --> 00:22:28,620
Finishing with me?
430
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:29,900
Yep.
431
00:22:30,910 --> 00:22:32,710
But I thought we had a thing, you know.
432
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,890
You and me against the world, playing in
a naughty corner.
433
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:39,759
I know, and we shared some happy times
over those 72 hours, and I'll never
434
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,990
forget you. But my uncle's really pissed
off.
435
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,919
He used the shame word, and that's,
well... Thing is, I can't risk annoying
436
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,619
anymore, because then he'll send me back
home.
437
00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:52,470
And as much as I find it boring staying
here, it's even more boring back there.
438
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,640
It's a second feck.
439
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,900
And also, I really want to go to this
ball thing, so... It's up to Lovisa,
440
00:22:58,901 --> 00:23:04,379
Actually, do you think you could...
Knock my face off one last time before
441
00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:05,940
go. Just to top me off, like.
442
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,180
It's gala dinner.
443
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,210
What do you think?
444
00:23:19,780 --> 00:23:21,240
Black tie or blazer?
445
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,240
I'm not really sure, to be honest. I'm
much happier in my blazer.
446
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,620
It's always better to be comfortable.
447
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,890
But would I be comfortable if I get
there and find I'm underdressed?
448
00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:35,850
That is the question.
449
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:39,230
I'm going to try the blazer again.
450
00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:44,100
Oh, Luke!
451
00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:47,000
When do you get out?
452
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:48,220
Not long.
453
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,520
Miss me?
454
00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:52,500
I don't want no trouble. That's why I'm
here.
455
00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,390
I want to make peace.
456
00:23:55,030 --> 00:23:56,290
Bollock. Syria?
457
00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:57,729
Don't get me wrong.
458
00:23:57,730 --> 00:23:59,089
I'm not asking to be your mate.
459
00:23:59,090 --> 00:24:01,950
I just want things to be okay for Jack.
460
00:24:02,270 --> 00:24:05,390
It's part of both our lives now, and I
just want to be part of it.
461
00:24:06,450 --> 00:24:13,289
So... He's turning into a great
462
00:24:13,290 --> 00:24:14,129
boy, this Jack.
463
00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:15,109
I know.
464
00:24:15,110 --> 00:24:16,970
He's grown so much since I last saw him.
465
00:24:16,971 --> 00:24:20,529
You should have seen his face when I
gave him his teddy.
466
00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:21,580
Teddy?
467
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,810
Yeah, didn't he show it to you yet?
468
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:25,980
Of course.
469
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,020
Nice one.
470
00:24:30,810 --> 00:24:31,860
All right.
471
00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:33,790
See you about then, Lukey.
472
00:24:42,050 --> 00:24:43,100
What do you think?
473
00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:47,870
Do you mind me, Em? You didn't realise
the average age tonight is 52, did you?
474
00:24:47,871 --> 00:24:49,689
You'd be giving them all cardiac arrest.
475
00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:50,740
Oh, shut up.
476
00:24:50,930 --> 00:24:51,980
You look beautiful.
477
00:24:52,230 --> 00:24:53,610
Albert is playing in his cot.
478
00:24:53,890 --> 00:24:55,510
He'll settle down now in a minute.
479
00:24:55,890 --> 00:24:57,690
Thanks again for having him tonight.
480
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,560
Then you never do, cos you only ever
think about yourself.
481
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,330
Thanks a lot.
482
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:06,200
Luke? What's the matter, Prash?
483
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,530
I'm black in a bit.
484
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,890
What about dinner?
485
00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:13,220
Sorry, the door's open. No, it's fine.
486
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:15,740
OK, we ready?
487
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,080
Yep. It's been very nice.
488
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,430
Well, you don't scrub up so bad
yourself, Michael Jackson.
489
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,010
Thanks.
490
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,640
Right, let's go gala.
491
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,310
And black dye refers to the men, not the
women.
492
00:25:33,830 --> 00:25:34,880
You're not right.
493
00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:37,590
Tang, I wanted to get it right.
494
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:39,100
Oh, God's sake.
495
00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:43,469
Look, Uncle, I know you're still cross
with me, and I'm really sorry about the
496
00:25:43,470 --> 00:25:46,829
Cocker's thing. Cocker's? Cocker's. But
I have finished with him now.
497
00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:48,250
He is history. Gone.
498
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:49,600
Skedaddled. Kaput.
499
00:25:50,390 --> 00:25:53,890
I really want to concentrate on my work
because I love retail.
500
00:25:54,121 --> 00:25:56,089
Do you?
501
00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:57,140
Yes.
502
00:25:59,610 --> 00:26:02,080
Please don't send me back home. I
couldn't bear it.
503
00:26:03,510 --> 00:26:04,890
Evening. Hiya.
504
00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:08,800
I see you two have sorted out your
differences.
505
00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:11,049
I'm going to go on ahead. I've got to
check something.
506
00:26:11,050 --> 00:26:12,100
Oh, OK.
507
00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:16,309
Parvati was just telling me how
committed she is to her career, which
508
00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:17,360
me very happy.
509
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:19,290
I still have so much left to teach her.
510
00:26:19,291 --> 00:26:21,149
Shall we?
511
00:26:21,150 --> 00:26:22,200
Yes.
512
00:26:39,929 --> 00:26:41,450
Ah, here you are.
513
00:26:42,070 --> 00:26:43,120
How lovely.
514
00:26:43,430 --> 00:26:46,130
Hiya. Stella, you look great.
515
00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:47,500
Aw, thank you.
516
00:26:47,610 --> 00:26:49,770
I hired this. I did it from frocks for
you.
517
00:26:49,970 --> 00:26:51,020
It was so cheap.
518
00:26:51,030 --> 00:26:52,080
You'd never know.
519
00:26:52,550 --> 00:26:53,650
You look lovely, too.
520
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,150
Doesn't she, though?
521
00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:57,570
We almost didn't make it here at all.
522
00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:01,770
You must be Andy.
523
00:27:02,130 --> 00:27:03,180
Hurry, yes.
524
00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:08,480
Stella. Well, we're all sitting on the
same table, which is fun. Fantastic.
525
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,870
Can't wait.
526
00:27:17,391 --> 00:27:19,419
Thank you.
527
00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:20,880
You did brilliantly.
528
00:27:31,241 --> 00:27:38,289
Oh, Lukey, were you drinking, mate? Just
so you know, this reformed character
529
00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:39,570
act, it don't wash for me.
530
00:27:40,010 --> 00:27:44,349
You might have fooled me, but you don't
fool me. And get this, all right? Zoe
531
00:27:44,350 --> 00:27:46,410
don't want you. She never did.
532
00:27:46,770 --> 00:27:49,710
I asked her to marry me the other night,
and she said yes.
533
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:55,189
And I ain't afraid of you, Len, so be my
guest, do your worst, cos you come
534
00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:57,489
anywhere near my family... Sorry, who's
wrong with you?
535
00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:59,230
Not threatening me, are you, Luke?
536
00:27:59,670 --> 00:28:01,530
Cos there's a lot of witnesses, yeah?
537
00:28:01,950 --> 00:28:03,000
The thing is...
538
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:06,140
You lay one finger on me, I'll have my
briefcase done for GBH.
539
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,630
And then we'll look after Zoe when
you're inside.
540
00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,590
Hmm?
541
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:18,380
See you again, please.
542
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,080
Trudy, you and Elmer, you watch.
543
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,660
Or else she'd come to her senses. I
can't say I blame the woman.
544
00:28:32,661 --> 00:28:36,099
Better just give it up as a bad job and
make the most of that complimentary
545
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,150
prosecco.
546
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,540
Get one for me, will you?
547
00:28:39,660 --> 00:28:40,710
I'll wait for you.
548
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,420
Actually, get something, too.
549
00:28:53,460 --> 00:28:54,720
Well, what a coincidence.
550
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,610
Isn't it?
551
00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:58,830
You look incredible.
552
00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:02,140
I'm not going to be able to keep my
hands off you.
553
00:29:02,230 --> 00:29:03,280
So don't.
554
00:29:06,530 --> 00:29:11,309
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's charity
dinner, courtesy of Jackson Martian
555
00:29:11,310 --> 00:29:12,850
Jackson, is about to commence.
556
00:29:13,310 --> 00:29:14,450
Please take your seats.
557
00:29:18,310 --> 00:29:19,360
Sorry I'm late.
558
00:29:22,250 --> 00:29:23,890
McCain. You invited me.
559
00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:25,990
I've been so looking forward to it.
560
00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:27,700
Me too.
561
00:29:40,490 --> 00:29:42,110
Your phone's been off for a while.
562
00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,290
No. What's wrong?
563
00:29:47,390 --> 00:29:53,149
OK, so this marriage, you and me, it's
only going to work if we're both
564
00:29:53,150 --> 00:29:54,890
completely honest with each other.
565
00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:56,240
I know.
566
00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,590
So go on then, what have you done?
567
00:30:05,070 --> 00:30:06,190
Who gave this to Jack?
568
00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,510
I wanted to tell you.
569
00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:18,759
Honest, I did. But then we went away and
you proposed and...
570
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,240
I didn't want to spoil it all.
571
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,080
No secrets, though.
572
00:30:26,081 --> 00:30:30,619
If Lenny thinks we keep things from each
other, he'll use it and he'll come
573
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:31,670
between us.
574
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,120
That trifle was fantastic.
575
00:30:44,620 --> 00:30:46,460
Gosh, you were hungry, weren't you?
576
00:30:46,461 --> 00:30:48,879
I've been looking forward to that all
day.
577
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,930
Who chose the menu?
578
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:53,640
Andy. He's been very clever, haven't
you, darling?
579
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,470
I couldn't have done any of it without
you both.
580
00:30:58,780 --> 00:30:59,960
Oh, for God's sake.
581
00:30:59,961 --> 00:31:04,759
Sir Marcus has business for you. Do you
still think of yourself as an incomer to
582
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,810
Ponterbury?
583
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,340
Ponterbury? Well, no, we've been here a
few years now.
584
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,260
Still got your accent, though.
585
00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:13,260
I haven't started saying boyo yet.
586
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,140
No, and my wife's Irish, so... Are you?
587
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,920
But you sound so Welsh.
588
00:31:19,921 --> 00:31:21,779
She's not my wife. Oh, I'm not his wife.
589
00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:23,760
We just know each other from work, like.
590
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,340
Yeah, Emma's my daughter, isn't she?
591
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,360
Waffer, thin mint, anyone?
592
00:31:32,940 --> 00:31:35,080
No, better not. Meant to be on a diet.
593
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:36,740
Oh, what for?
594
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:42,089
Honestly, I think you reach a certain
age... You may as well just accept your
595
00:31:42,090 --> 00:31:43,350
body and eat what you like.
596
00:31:43,530 --> 00:31:47,190
Anyway, I was saying to Andy, you've got
such a pretty face.
597
00:31:48,030 --> 00:31:50,330
You could be one of those plus -size
models.
598
00:31:52,570 --> 00:31:53,620
Thanks, Jan.
599
00:32:09,790 --> 00:32:10,840
Fine.
600
00:32:16,030 --> 00:32:20,849
Oi! Make that a spritz, then you'll ask
your pint. Look, what I was saying was
601
00:32:20,850 --> 00:32:25,810
this. The small businesses of Pontyberry
need to stick together.
602
00:32:26,410 --> 00:32:31,049
Liddles are chipped in! Oh, that's rich
coming from you, Mrs... Johnny come
603
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:34,569
lately with your two -bit no -good bus
firm, making out you know everything
604
00:32:34,570 --> 00:32:38,289
about how our business is run. That's
why you tell a well -fed guy. Please,
605
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,730
let's keep things civil.
606
00:32:40,010 --> 00:32:44,989
They are your two -bit buses, Guy Davis.
And if it weren't for me, they'd still
607
00:32:44,990 --> 00:32:49,829
be sat on your forecourt gathering just
brand -ass buses. They've put brand -ass
608
00:32:49,830 --> 00:32:52,470
buses on the map. And don't you forget
it, goodbye.
609
00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:54,470
Ladies and gentlemen.
610
00:32:55,410 --> 00:32:58,960
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just
have your attention. Don't worry.
611
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,660
I'll be brief, because I am one.
612
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,400
Jan and I... And Michael.
613
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:10,559
And Michael. In fact, all of us at
Jackson Marsh in Jackson would like to
614
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,339
you for coming here tonight. I think
you'll all agree that that meal was
615
00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:17,460
to none, top notch, and fan -dabby
-dozy.
616
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,740
And it doesn't stop there. Oh, no.
617
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:24,460
We've got loads more still coming right
at you. We've got dancing, karaoke,
618
00:33:25,140 --> 00:33:26,360
raffles...
619
00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:28,810
Oh, I forgot the raffle.
620
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:32,210
Didn't? Oh, for God's sake, you idiot.
621
00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:33,609
Sorry, OK?
622
00:33:33,610 --> 00:33:35,010
Um, oops.
623
00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:37,970
Sorry, everyone, no raffle.
624
00:33:39,130 --> 00:33:40,970
Our bad, what can I say?
625
00:33:41,550 --> 00:33:43,330
Someone forgot to arrange it.
626
00:33:43,670 --> 00:33:45,890
Oh, what a pity. Well, that is a shame.
627
00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:48,530
He's winding you up.
628
00:33:48,770 --> 00:33:53,729
Sorry? Yeah, it's true, Michael haven't
done a raffle, but that's because you've
629
00:33:53,730 --> 00:33:54,780
done...
630
00:33:55,530 --> 00:33:57,410
An auction of promises, instead.
631
00:34:00,010 --> 00:34:01,060
Haven't you?
632
00:34:01,770 --> 00:34:02,820
Yes.
633
00:34:03,130 --> 00:34:04,180
That's right.
634
00:34:04,550 --> 00:34:05,690
I'll be back in a minute.
635
00:34:07,830 --> 00:34:12,429
Well, like I say, thanks for coming and
have a great night. Thank you.
636
00:34:15,530 --> 00:34:16,910
Sorry, I've got to take this.
637
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,820
leathers and a free car wash.
638
00:34:32,980 --> 00:34:35,560
What do you expect me to do, give away a
bloody car?
639
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,460
They're all dead traps anyway.
640
00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:41,679
Down the side, save them one of your day
trips. How many passengers you lot now?
641
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,780
You are really... Where are you going?
642
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,930
Trust my legs, that's all right with
you.
643
00:34:47,340 --> 00:34:49,060
Right, what have you got for me?
644
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:52,030
Six month membership to Flubberbest of
their style.
645
00:34:52,031 --> 00:34:54,819
And Christ knows there's a lot of people
here tonight who need it.
646
00:34:54,820 --> 00:34:56,920
Wow. Well, thanks everyone.
647
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,740
Don't get your hopes up.
648
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,690
Some of them prizes are the right what
to them.
649
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,380
Especially David's, isn't it?
650
00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:05,380
Oh, put a sock in his face.
651
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,770
I've changed my mind. You're the only
thing in my mind.
652
00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:11,620
Gillette, why are you being like this?
653
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,360
We agreed that's how we do it.
654
00:35:14,340 --> 00:35:15,480
Sorry about that, Mott.
655
00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:17,180
They don't get out very often.
656
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,570
Don't apologise.
657
00:35:18,571 --> 00:35:23,399
Tonight's not quite what I hoped it
would be, to be honest.
658
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,900
Well, wait until the karaoke kicks in.
That'll get everyone going.
659
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,250
Come on.
660
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,640
Don't hang up. Don't hang up.
661
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,650
Colette.
662
00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:37,160
Shall we get some fresh air?
663
00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:41,660
Excuse us. Hello.
664
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:48,079
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to
introduce you to my lovely assistant, Mr
665
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,130
Michael Jackson.
666
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,560
Not the real one. Sorry, folks.
667
00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:58,380
Can you moonwalk? No.
668
00:35:58,381 --> 00:35:59,569
No, sorry.
669
00:35:59,570 --> 00:36:02,880
How can you be called Michael Jackson
and not be able to moonwalk?
670
00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:04,440
Go on, give it a go.
671
00:36:04,750 --> 00:36:05,800
No. Come on.
672
00:36:09,521 --> 00:36:10,969
Now
673
00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:23,069
you've
674
00:36:23,070 --> 00:36:26,029
humiliated me in front of everyone,
shall we get on with the auction?
675
00:36:26,030 --> 00:36:27,080
Yeah, why not?
676
00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:28,800
Offer.
677
00:36:30,529 --> 00:36:33,810
I hate the way Colette bosses you around
all the time.
678
00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:38,270
If I was married to you, I'd be lovely
to you all the time.
679
00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:41,010
It's not Colette's fault.
680
00:36:41,630 --> 00:36:45,409
She's tried really hard, but I don't
think she ever really got over what
681
00:36:45,410 --> 00:36:46,950
happened. Your affair?
682
00:36:47,450 --> 00:36:50,160
It wasn't even an affair. It was just
some stupid fling.
683
00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:51,730
So is that where I am?
684
00:36:52,850 --> 00:36:54,230
Just some stupid fling.
685
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,220
Going twice, our last item of the night.
686
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,460
Sold for £55.
687
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:17,000
Two tickets on Brenda's buses for a
magical mystery tour to Port Talbot.
688
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:18,610
Thanks,
689
00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:21,400
everyone. Next up, karaoke.
690
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,080
And here they are, Ant and Dave.
691
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,860
Oh, wasn't that brilliant?
692
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:36,230
Fantastic. Yeah. As long as everyone
pays up. They'd pay up, why wouldn't
693
00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:37,930
Andy Brandy? Yeah.
694
00:37:39,910 --> 00:37:41,010
Andy Brandy?
695
00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:44,550
Say one thing to your ex -wife.
696
00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,670
She's got very poor taste in men.
697
00:37:47,470 --> 00:37:50,330
That doesn't make sense, actually. She
married me.
698
00:37:50,650 --> 00:37:51,700
Oh, yeah.
699
00:38:10,049 --> 00:38:11,669
Ma, I'm going to wear darkers now.
700
00:38:11,910 --> 00:38:13,070
Why, isn't he early?
701
00:38:13,490 --> 00:38:14,930
Yeah, I know where I'm not cut.
702
00:38:14,990 --> 00:38:17,040
Marcus has offered to give me a lift
home.
703
00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:18,340
Have you?
704
00:38:18,341 --> 00:38:20,249
Thanks for a brilliant night.
705
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:21,300
Pleasure.
706
00:38:22,370 --> 00:38:23,420
So,
707
00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:28,440
in for a penny?
708
00:38:28,530 --> 00:38:30,030
How do you feel about dancing?
709
00:38:30,270 --> 00:38:32,750
A little too fast for one.
710
00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:36,390
Now I've finally found someone to
pretend about.
711
00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:05,820
with a big fat fraud really, Daddy.
712
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,610
Tragic Eve.
713
00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:57,480
make a move?
714
00:39:58,390 --> 00:39:59,440
Oh.
715
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:04,470
Okay. Um, I'll call us a cab and I'll
get them to drop you off first.
716
00:40:05,210 --> 00:40:06,260
You could do that.
717
00:40:07,070 --> 00:40:09,780
Or you could just get them to take us
both back to yours.
718
00:40:11,070 --> 00:40:12,120
What?
719
00:40:12,550 --> 00:40:14,780
You said you had the place yourself
tonight.
720
00:40:16,010 --> 00:40:17,070
Oh, I do. I do.
721
00:40:18,710 --> 00:40:19,760
Go on, then.
722
00:40:49,710 --> 00:40:53,590
I'll be over at ten, I told you time and
again, but you're late.
723
00:40:54,350 --> 00:40:56,010
I'll wait around the bell.
724
00:41:29,230 --> 00:41:32,720
No, but what is it about the Welsh? I
mean, how come they can all sing so
725
00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:36,370
Is it something in your diet? Well,
apparently it's to do with our jaw.
726
00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:37,609
Your what?
727
00:41:37,610 --> 00:41:38,660
Yeah, the jaw.
728
00:41:38,870 --> 00:41:39,920
Nice.
729
00:41:43,550 --> 00:41:44,630
Thank you for tonight.
730
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,810
Really. It's a pleasure.
731
00:41:47,970 --> 00:41:50,250
Best fake date I've had in a long time.
732
00:41:50,251 --> 00:41:51,509
Me too.
733
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:54,390
So good I sort of forgot it was fake.
734
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,440
Or maybe it's not out of your way.
735
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,640
I'm a good guy. I can take a detour.
736
00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:23,870
Emma, this is insane.
737
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:25,500
Where did it come from?
738
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:28,699
You know, I was just happily going
along, minding my business. You weren't
739
00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:30,799
happy, though, were you? How could you
be?
740
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:31,850
And then you.
741
00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:39,660
I feel like I'm... I'm running down this
really deep hill, really fast.
742
00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:44,660
And I know I'm going to fall over any
minute and really fucking hurt myself.
743
00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:47,870
But I feel about this world at the
moment.
744
00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:50,000
And I can't stop what I'm doing.
745
00:42:50,220 --> 00:42:52,080
I don't want to stop what I'm doing.
746
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,760
Me neither. I love you, Marcus.
747
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,180
We are actually doing this, aren't we?
748
00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:42,480
We actually are.
749
00:43:42,481 --> 00:43:46,719
Keep it down. These walls are paper
thin. We don't want our neighbours to
750
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,780
Oh, you're all right.
751
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,660
I happen to know she's not in.
752
00:44:00,801 --> 00:44:08,349
Just because you've chosen to shack up
with a bit of Valley's wrath doesn't
753
00:44:08,350 --> 00:44:11,909
Katie has to be dragged into the gutter
with you. Now you're talking demented.
754
00:44:11,910 --> 00:44:14,380
We're teenagers, Ben. It's our job to be
demented.
755
00:44:14,730 --> 00:44:17,130
As of today, I am putting an embargo on
sex.
756
00:44:17,610 --> 00:44:20,150
What? This is a hostage situation.
757
00:44:20,590 --> 00:44:22,670
It's not Steve Wright on a Sunday.
758
00:44:23,230 --> 00:44:24,370
Stay where you are, son.
759
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