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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:15,689 You do? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm on drugs. And we want Alan Williams to do 2 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:16,740 it. Do? 3 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,900 Yes. 4 00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:20,410 And I love you. 5 00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:23,490 I can't stop thinking about you. 6 00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,530 Nice to meet you. 7 00:00:26,950 --> 00:00:28,000 Hello. Hi. 8 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,920 What's going on? It might go. 9 00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:16,910 Bloody hell. 10 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,120 I know. It's immense. 11 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,950 You've got French bread and chocolate muffins. 12 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,840 Hey, what are you doing? Put it back. 13 00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:24,190 I want a muffin. 14 00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:25,460 Oh, good God. Who's that? 15 00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,439 No one. 16 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:27,490 Tom, go home. 17 00:01:27,491 --> 00:01:28,639 I can't move. 18 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,399 Is he your boyfriend? 19 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,450 No. 20 00:01:30,451 --> 00:01:34,459 Emma never came home last night. Yeah, well, she met up with an old friend or 21 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,600 something. Yeah, right. 22 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,980 Slapper. Shut up, Ben. 23 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:42,630 And put that bloody muffin back. You can't just take things, can't you, Will? 24 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,240 It's me. 25 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,490 Great night, wasn't it? 26 00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:52,550 Hey, listen, do me a call. Let me know you're all right. 27 00:01:53,370 --> 00:01:54,420 Ciao. 28 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:02,430 Ben, why do you always take all the milk? You're so selfish. 29 00:02:02,431 --> 00:02:04,069 My fin. 30 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,120 Shut up, Tom. 31 00:02:16,910 --> 00:02:18,710 Do as I say, not as I do. 32 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,100 All right? 33 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,320 Perfect shoes for the walk of shame, these. 34 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,440 I'm sorry, I can't give you a lift, but... Don't be daft. 35 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:40,000 I've booked a taxi from the end of the road. 36 00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:44,030 Anna, you'll be all right today. 37 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,880 Just don't moan, OK? 38 00:02:58,570 --> 00:03:01,400 Thanks for looking after me. Oh, look at the closing ring. 39 00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,320 All right? 40 00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:04,640 Yeah. 41 00:03:04,641 --> 00:03:07,649 Me and him, we'd quite a night of it like, night of me press. 42 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,270 Yeah, certainly looked that way. 43 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,170 Oh, have you heard of Ryland? 44 00:03:12,970 --> 00:03:14,020 Who? Goodbye. 45 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:15,740 See you later. 46 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:16,840 Baby. 47 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,500 What? 48 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:21,840 I'm not judging. 49 00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:25,129 In fact, my cousin's seeing someone 20 years younger, and he's doing her the 50 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:25,689 world of good. 51 00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:27,350 Sorry? You're, uh... 52 00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,630 Your boyfriend. 53 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,260 Don't be ridiculous. It's just Tom, that is. 54 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,520 Oh, by the way, your food shop's been and gone. 55 00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,340 What? It's at half past. 56 00:03:38,341 --> 00:03:39,419 Don't worry. 57 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,540 He left it all at mine. 58 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,340 Well, come and get it, then. I haven't got all day. 59 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,700 And are you aware of the dress code for tomorrow night? 60 00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:55,300 Black tie, Auntie Tanisha told me. 61 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:59,519 Good. Well, we're off to deliver these, aren't we, Abraha? When I get back, I'm 62 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,260 going to teach you all about lost leaders. Is it a game? 63 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,640 Like Candy Crush? 64 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,040 No, it's a technique for attracting passing trade. 65 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,770 Fascinating area. 66 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,040 Great. I can't wait. 67 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,680 Let's go, Abraha. 68 00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:20,110 Right, get yourself over here now, you big old bitey crab. 69 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,600 Exfoliate there. Thank you. 70 00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,979 How come they don't bag it up here? 71 00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:30,810 Well, I said not to. You know, environment, plastic bags. 72 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,450 So, do you want to borrow some of mine, then? 73 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,890 Um, please. 74 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,660 Oh, this is yours, too. 75 00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:42,579 It's half empty. 76 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:45,890 Yeah, I borrowed a drop, I did. But in my tea, you don't mind, do you? 77 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,899 No, not that. Oh, and, um, Ben had a bit of an accident with one of your 78 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:50,950 muffins. 79 00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:53,699 What, did it accidentally fall into his mouth? 80 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,410 Yeah, I told him not to, but you know what kids are like. 81 00:04:56,411 --> 00:04:58,609 So, essentially, you've been pilfering my groceries. 82 00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:01,309 You are? No, it's fine. Oh, I'll pay you back. No, I don't want you to pay me 83 00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,570 back. I just said it's fine. 84 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,229 I'm sorry, Michael, but I will not be besmirched in my own home. I was not 85 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:09,849 besmirching. Yes, you were. You were basically accusing me of theft when all 86 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:13,280 did was take the tiniest bit of milk and put it in my teeth. Half a point. 87 00:05:13,281 --> 00:05:15,529 If that's not besmirching, then I don't know what is. 88 00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:16,549 Objection, Your Honour. 89 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,959 Overruled. I am more than willing to refund your costs, but I put it to you 90 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,839 in comparison with the re -delivery charge you'd incur, not to mention use 91 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,019 bags, half a pint of milk... Don't forget the chocolate muffin. ..plus the 92 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,550 part of a chocolate muffin is an absolute bargain. 93 00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,830 Do you rest your case? Yes, I rest my case. 94 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:32,910 Is that my bacon? 95 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,420 Yes, it's your bacon. Thank you. 96 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,300 Here. You can keep the milk. 97 00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:38,840 I can't stop. I'm late. 98 00:05:38,841 --> 00:05:42,599 Whoa! What's your horses, young lady? You got enough time to tell me where you 99 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,650 stayed last night? 100 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:44,830 Ma 'am, I'm 19. 101 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,090 And I'm nosy. 102 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,620 Amy's, all right. I said Amy. 103 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,990 Well, that's funny, because she came home in the back with that. 104 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,250 Not Amy Edwards. 105 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:55,800 Amy Parker from college. 106 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,160 God, ma 'am, you're unbelievable. 107 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,000 What do you want to do? 108 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,170 Oh, Jack. 109 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:11,599 Jack? Ah, he was good as gold, he was, for me last night. But then I think he 110 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,260 finds me very calming. 111 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,880 I come bearing tickets, my friend. 112 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:21,980 Cheers, Jack. You never said you was going tomorrow night. 113 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:24,159 Since when are you my social secretary? 114 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,960 There's nothing social about today. 115 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:27,260 It's a business event. 116 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:31,800 Actually, it's a charity dinner. It's so much more than a charity dinner, 117 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,879 Jagadish Chowdhury. Is it? It's an opportunity for the entire Pogdeberry 118 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:42,000 Fraternity to gather together in one place, which is why I want you on my 119 00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:45,110 We've got a lot in common, you and me. 120 00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:48,910 What with you being a small business person of high standing. 121 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:53,190 I look forward to it, Auntie Brenda. And I plan to bring my niece. 122 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,250 Broaden her horizons. 123 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:58,370 She looks like she do enjoy a bit of broadening, that one. 124 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,820 I'm a small business person of high standing. 125 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,230 Why can't I sit at the table? 126 00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:07,170 Right then, go to them white ones out. 127 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,260 Ah, hello. 128 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,030 I have two spare tickets available for tomorrow. 129 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,520 Can I persuade you to take them off my hand? 130 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,030 You would need to bring somebody, of course. 131 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,130 Right. 132 00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:28,099 I've got a bone to pick with you. 133 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,150 What? 134 00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:32,979 Sneaking away early last night, you missed all the fun. Mrs Wong copped off 135 00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:34,030 riling bodyguard. 136 00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:35,110 Did she? 137 00:07:35,111 --> 00:07:38,399 Stock room today, please. I'm out of places. That's it. 138 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,450 OK. 139 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,220 You took your time. 140 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,180 Yeah, I knows it. 141 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,479 Sorry, boot. 142 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,380 Well, you'll just have to be punished. 143 00:07:55,381 --> 00:07:56,619 Go on. 144 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:57,940 Strike the naughty corner. 145 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,960 Oh, man, I loved the naughty corner. 146 00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:14,620 Okay. 147 00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:19,729 This is Wong Byer of the 312 bus with catheter insertion. A delicate procedure 148 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,850 that requires both accuracy, confidence, and ambition. 149 00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:27,969 Number one, always inform the patient of what you are up to. If there is even a 150 00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:31,970 hint of surprise in a procedure like this, you set yourself up for a whoo. 151 00:08:32,409 --> 00:08:33,459 world of pain. 152 00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:37,530 You'll cause clenching, shouting, leaking, you name it. 153 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,010 And that's just you, never mind the patient. 154 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,370 Okay, people, what I did there was I made a joke. 155 00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:50,589 And I put everyone at their ease. Remember that humour and tube insertion 156 00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:51,690 go hand in hand. 157 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,650 Now, let's get this show on the road. 158 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:56,580 Stella. 159 00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:03,420 As predicted, You look rancid. 160 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,420 And your responses are slow. 161 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,540 Even Mrs Wong by ear looks more alive than you do. 162 00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:13,219 Go out on a weeknight again, and I'll be forced to give you a fixed penalty 163 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,270 punt. Ka -plum! 164 00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,340 Now, start inserting. 165 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,820 Might I have a quick word? 166 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,070 Er, might I say no? 167 00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:28,740 It's about the dinner. 168 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:33,429 Now... Obviously, it's a big thing, my going with Andy this year for the first 169 00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:34,480 time and not you. 170 00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:36,709 It's not like people don't know we're divorced. 171 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:39,190 I thought you could take Casey as your plus one. 172 00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,629 Sorry? Well, so you don't have to go on your own. 173 00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:42,710 I'm not going on my own. 174 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,100 I've got a date. 175 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:45,710 Well, good for you. 176 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,150 Yeah. Who is she? 177 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,510 Pardon? Your date. 178 00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:51,080 Who are you taking? 179 00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:53,849 Does it matter who I'm taking? I mean, what difference does it make? 180 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,409 It doesn't matter who you're taking. 181 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:56,810 Oh, don't you fit. 182 00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,730 Stella, OK? I'm taking Stella. 183 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,040 A little fat woman from next door. Yes, all right. 184 00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:03,240 Now can I get on? 185 00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:26,530 Why are you here? There's no hospital shut for Thursdays. 186 00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:28,050 I know. Um... 187 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,780 It's about our... date. 188 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:33,910 Well, go on, then. 189 00:10:33,911 --> 00:10:37,739 Don't mind Shirley. I'll tell you everything, don't I? 190 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:38,790 Oh, OK. 191 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:45,259 Well, I'm worried it might be a bit over the top for a first date, but how do 192 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:46,460 you fancy going to live? 193 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,170 Blimey. 194 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,430 It's too much, isn't it? I always go wrong. 195 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,520 Why? How many dates do you go on? 196 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,870 What? 197 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,209 What do you think, Shirley? Will I enjoy it? 198 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,770 A bit of dinner, a bit of dancing. 199 00:10:58,771 --> 00:10:59,649 A raffle. 200 00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,700 And a raffle. 201 00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:02,240 How can I resist? 202 00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:04,930 Brilliant. Well, I'll see you later. 203 00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,260 Yeah. 204 00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:08,040 You will. 205 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:19,970 Ah, hi. 206 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,980 Glad I caught you. 207 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,060 What do you want? 208 00:11:24,061 --> 00:11:25,279 I just wanted to apologise. 209 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,059 I think we got our wires crossed earlier over the shopping. I was only larking 210 00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:29,860 about, so I'm sorry if I offended you. 211 00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:30,939 It was nothing. 212 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:34,320 I'd hang over, so... Look, I've got to get on. 213 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,770 Mind if I join you? 214 00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:38,399 I'm just taking him round the block for a wee. 215 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,450 Oh, lovely. 216 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:45,260 I've been stuck in the office all day, so... This is nice. 217 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,520 Reservoirs of Ponterbury. 218 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,800 Ponterbury. Ponterbury. 219 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,040 I like your coat. 220 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,760 All right. What do you have? 221 00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:57,230 Michael Cock in Jackson, LL Bastardby. 222 00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:58,970 Just the man I'm looking for. 223 00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:00,380 Sorry, do I know you? 224 00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:03,409 Hey, cracking cocking night last night when I was down? 225 00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,460 Yeah, superb. 226 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,340 What it is, my husband's mother have gone demented. 227 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,770 So we've stuck her in a home. 228 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:12,529 Now, is he entitled to move into her house? Or do we have to share it with 229 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,489 bastard sister? 230 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:16,649 Even though she've not seen hair nor hound of their mother for the past 40 231 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:21,130 cocking years. Sorry, I don't, um... Go to, um, Citizen's Advice. 232 00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:22,840 OK? 233 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,660 Well... Thanks for that, cheap. 234 00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,580 Call yourself a solicitor. 235 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,570 I've had better legal advice off that bastard dog. 236 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,510 Oh, what now? 237 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:37,840 Anyway, the thing is, I just wondered if you wanted to come to a ball with me. 238 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:40,400 A ball? Well, not a ball ball. 239 00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,730 Just a charity dinner dance, really. We do it every year. It's a lot of fun. 240 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,670 Nah, it's not really my cup of tea, to be honest. 241 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,850 There's a raffle. 242 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840 Raffles are one big scam. 243 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,659 Donna Macken, who, by the way, is on the PTA, wins the dinner for two at 244 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,180 Brotchies every year. 245 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,240 Every year. Please come. 246 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:03,300 Sorry? Please, just come as a favour to me because... Because what? 247 00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:06,999 Because I've already told my ex -wife that you're coming. I panicked. 248 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,050 Oh, charming. 249 00:13:08,051 --> 00:13:12,219 So it's not like you enjoy my company or you find me attractive or anything like 250 00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,270 that. 251 00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:15,979 Attractive? Well, I hadn't thought about it. Of course I'll come. 252 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:17,280 Really? Thank God. 253 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,799 You'll have to pay, because I'm skint. 254 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,850 Totally, of course. 255 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,790 Welcome home. 256 00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:33,319 Where's Jack? 257 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,980 We just dropped him at my mum's. 258 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,230 We went there to tell her our big news, like. What big news? 259 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,520 Hiya, congratulations are in order. 260 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,310 What have you done, Al? Luke, what's going on? 261 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,660 Look, I asked Zoe. 262 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,440 They're getting married still. 263 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:52,339 And not a moment too soon, at last, a bit of joy in his tragic mess of a life 264 00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,390 a cage. Shut up! 265 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,680 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 266 00:13:58,260 --> 00:13:59,340 Why, easy. 267 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,270 Oh! 268 00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,190 Ah, 269 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,380 finished. 270 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,820 Never underestimate the power of a to -do list. 271 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,980 I'll try really hard not to, Uncle. 272 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,779 For months I've been meaning to do all these things. The day I make a list, 273 00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:23,830 all get done. 274 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,480 Replace the front mast. 275 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,080 Check. Clean out the penny -chew bucket. 276 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,660 Check. Oil the door. 277 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,160 Check. Fix the blind spot on the CCTV. 278 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,760 Oh, you did this when? 279 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,300 First thing this morning. 280 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,610 Why do you ask? 281 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,850 No reason. 282 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,940 Other than a strong desire to learn. 283 00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:52,350 Excellent. And I've seen your nuts. 284 00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:57,309 Big bloody jar of them stuck behind the tea urn. Don't think it's gone 285 00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:01,770 unnoticed. You nibbling away all day like Tusty the sodding squirrel. 286 00:15:01,771 --> 00:15:05,869 Yeah? Well, how am I supposed to laugh till tea time on what she tells us to 287 00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:08,650 eat? I'm a grown man, man. Them starvation portions. 288 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,260 Right then, you lot. 289 00:15:10,430 --> 00:15:11,790 To court will I am. 290 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,570 Everybody in the club? 291 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,540 All eyes on us. 292 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,570 Well, all eyes on me, really, but... Sorry, did he... Not everyone's here 293 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,640 Dieting waits for no woman, Alan. 294 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,280 You just ask Kirsty Alley. 295 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,740 Oh, it's you. 296 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,550 Charming. 297 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,940 I thought it might be Celia. 298 00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:33,699 I've asked her to that gala thing tomorrow night. Oh, I'm going that. 299 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,619 Who is? 300 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:35,670 Fella next door. 301 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:41,500 Oh, it's not like that. I'm just doing him a favour, that's all. 302 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,790 OK. 303 00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:47,590 It hasn't escaped my notice that some of you are on a night out tomorrow night. 304 00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,450 And I can't say I approve. 305 00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:50,909 You are going? 306 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:54,729 Yes, but I'm not locked in combat with a high dependency on carbohydrates and my 307 00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,689 anti -brender. 308 00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:58,970 In my opinion, a night out or a date. 309 00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:03,029 I'm not going on a date. It's tantamount to an additional car crash to be 310 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,250 avoided at all costs. 311 00:16:04,251 --> 00:16:08,129 To be honest, if I was in your shape, I'd be taking the Mariah Carey approach 312 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,870 and living in a cupboard for a month. 313 00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:35,720 It's my mum. 314 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:37,680 Oh? 315 00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:38,960 Where are you now? 316 00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:42,740 Why? Because I haven't seen you all day and loads have happened. 317 00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:47,010 I'm not sure about me to the gala dinner thing. I'm going to have to do my hair. 318 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:54,910 Right. Beth, the big news is that Luke and Zoe are getting married. 319 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:57,700 Right. 320 00:16:58,610 --> 00:16:59,990 Do you know what I just said? 321 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,270 What? Yeah, that one again. 322 00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,660 I know, isn't it? 323 00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:08,279 Are you all right? 324 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,330 Yeah, sorry. 325 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,919 Look, Mum, I'll call you in a bit. 326 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:13,299 I'm in the middle of some other mob. 327 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:20,750 Parvati? 328 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,290 Parvati? 329 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,640 Oh, shit. 330 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,129 Sorry, Uncle. 331 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,740 You just gave me a bit of a shock. 332 00:17:28,741 --> 00:17:29,799 What is this? 333 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,979 Oh, it was just a bit quiet and I thought I'd use the time to learn about 334 00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:36,260 CCTV in case it ever fails. 335 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,240 Excellent. I admire your enthusiasm. 336 00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:40,219 Thank you. 337 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,479 So, let's have a look, then. 338 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,859 What? No, actually, because I just remembered I've got some shop -type 339 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:48,899 do that you wanted me to do that I haven't done yet, so... 340 00:17:48,900 --> 00:18:01,419 This 341 00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,160 is quite a bad situation, isn't it? 342 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,800 Gawkers? Keckers. 343 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,860 You have had intimate relations in my shop with... Gawkers? 344 00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:13,880 Checkers, uncle. If it's any consolation, I only let them go down by 345 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,240 You have abused my trust. 346 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,100 But I'm... I am ashamed of you. 347 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:28,479 Does this mean I can't go to the ball now? 348 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,830 Only I've got my outfit sorted and everything. 349 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,060 Nice cup of tea. 350 00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:43,740 Oh, 351 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,220 don't mind me. 352 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:49,280 We were just going over the last few details for tonight. 353 00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:52,409 Right, what time do you want me there for the welcome address and stuff? 354 00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:53,460 Er, John? 355 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:59,650 Er, look, we thought that Andy might do it this year, just for a change. 356 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,280 Fine, whatever. 357 00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:05,200 You know what you could be in charge of? The raffle. 358 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,320 Do the raffle. 359 00:19:06,899 --> 00:19:09,000 So that's all I'm good for now, is it? 360 00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,030 Fine, 361 00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:13,060 OK, I'll do the poxy raffle. 362 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:14,610 You happy now? 363 00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:20,140 Thing is, Al, you've just got to be yourself with this, Celia. 364 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,100 You might be dressed up like George Clooney, but just go and act as who you 365 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,590 not because you're some unattainable film star. 366 00:19:27,591 --> 00:19:30,579 So what you're saying is I'm average -looking and very available? 367 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:33,230 You're not average -looking, you're very handsome. 368 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,560 And very lovely. 369 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,850 She's a lucky girl. 370 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,150 Thanks, Dad. 371 00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:39,499 It's just been a long time since I did all this, you know. 372 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,550 Right. 373 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,050 Here goes. 374 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,200 I feel a bit of a twat, to be honest. 375 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,420 Well, you don't look a bit of a twat. 376 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,620 No. We'll do with me. 377 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,020 if my mum comes in today to get her hair done. 378 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:09,280 I don't mind doing her like, only she got some due on this evening. 379 00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:10,500 Gala dinner thing? 380 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,349 Oh, the charity night up at the manor house? Yeah, I think so. 381 00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:14,309 I'm going to that. 382 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,109 Are you? 383 00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:17,220 Yeah, a lot of local business people come. 384 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,710 Thanks. I'll see you tonight. 385 00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:21,940 Bye. 386 00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:42,649 Emma, slow down. You're going way too fast. 387 00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:43,369 Am I? 388 00:20:43,370 --> 00:20:46,409 Yeah, it's got to be the balls of the fingers, not the actual fingertips. 389 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:47,460 Right. 390 00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:50,760 Here. 391 00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,120 Press firmly. 392 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:57,910 And start with the nape of the neck. 393 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,590 And move up to behind the ears. 394 00:21:02,681 --> 00:21:04,629 You got that? 395 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,680 Mm -hm. 396 00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:07,280 Yeah. 397 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,620 So we got that. 398 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,810 I'm just going to get some more conditioner, Mrs. Peer. 399 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,680 Oh, my God. 400 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,930 What are you like? 401 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,090 It's your fault. 402 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,330 Oh, 403 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:24,520 don't go tonight. 404 00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:26,480 Let me stay over again. 405 00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:27,910 I have to go. 406 00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:29,120 But I'm desperate. 407 00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:31,030 How desperate? 408 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,420 Really fucking desperate. 409 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,130 Yeah? 410 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,290 Your mum's here? 411 00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:41,249 She brought Alan with her. He wants to do it and all. 412 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:42,549 Well, you're confirming, can't you? 413 00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:45,969 But he's gone away. What am I supposed to do with him? Just buff him up, is 414 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:47,290 there? Make him all shiny? 415 00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:55,230 Hi, Michael Jackson. 416 00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,529 Got an appointment. 417 00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:57,790 Ah, yeah, you with Lauren. 418 00:21:58,530 --> 00:21:59,580 Louie! 419 00:21:59,581 --> 00:22:01,449 Oh, hello there. 420 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,010 Here's my date for this evening. 421 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,030 Well, it's not actually a date. 422 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:09,089 Oh, look at him going all red now. He's one of the organisers, he is, Amy, so he 423 00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:11,669 can't very well turn up without a beautiful woman on his arm. 424 00:22:11,670 --> 00:22:12,750 And I'm very grateful. 425 00:22:13,850 --> 00:22:17,010 Hey, Michael, I was thinking, I quite fancy going tonight. 426 00:22:17,530 --> 00:22:18,580 Do you? 427 00:22:18,581 --> 00:22:20,649 Don't suppose there's any tickets left, are there? 428 00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:22,450 I can probably get you one. Oh, wicked. 429 00:22:27,570 --> 00:22:28,620 Finishing with me? 430 00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:29,900 Yep. 431 00:22:30,910 --> 00:22:32,710 But I thought we had a thing, you know. 432 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,890 You and me against the world, playing in a naughty corner. 433 00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:39,759 I know, and we shared some happy times over those 72 hours, and I'll never 434 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,990 forget you. But my uncle's really pissed off. 435 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,919 He used the shame word, and that's, well... Thing is, I can't risk annoying 436 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,619 anymore, because then he'll send me back home. 437 00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:52,470 And as much as I find it boring staying here, it's even more boring back there. 438 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,640 It's a second feck. 439 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,900 And also, I really want to go to this ball thing, so... It's up to Lovisa, 440 00:22:58,901 --> 00:23:04,379 Actually, do you think you could... Knock my face off one last time before 441 00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:05,940 go. Just to top me off, like. 442 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,180 It's gala dinner. 443 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,210 What do you think? 444 00:23:19,780 --> 00:23:21,240 Black tie or blazer? 445 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,240 I'm not really sure, to be honest. I'm much happier in my blazer. 446 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,620 It's always better to be comfortable. 447 00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,890 But would I be comfortable if I get there and find I'm underdressed? 448 00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:35,850 That is the question. 449 00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:39,230 I'm going to try the blazer again. 450 00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:44,100 Oh, Luke! 451 00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:47,000 When do you get out? 452 00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:48,220 Not long. 453 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,520 Miss me? 454 00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:52,500 I don't want no trouble. That's why I'm here. 455 00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,390 I want to make peace. 456 00:23:55,030 --> 00:23:56,290 Bollock. Syria? 457 00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:57,729 Don't get me wrong. 458 00:23:57,730 --> 00:23:59,089 I'm not asking to be your mate. 459 00:23:59,090 --> 00:24:01,950 I just want things to be okay for Jack. 460 00:24:02,270 --> 00:24:05,390 It's part of both our lives now, and I just want to be part of it. 461 00:24:06,450 --> 00:24:13,289 So... He's turning into a great 462 00:24:13,290 --> 00:24:14,129 boy, this Jack. 463 00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:15,109 I know. 464 00:24:15,110 --> 00:24:16,970 He's grown so much since I last saw him. 465 00:24:16,971 --> 00:24:20,529 You should have seen his face when I gave him his teddy. 466 00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:21,580 Teddy? 467 00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,810 Yeah, didn't he show it to you yet? 468 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:25,980 Of course. 469 00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,020 Nice one. 470 00:24:30,810 --> 00:24:31,860 All right. 471 00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:33,790 See you about then, Lukey. 472 00:24:42,050 --> 00:24:43,100 What do you think? 473 00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:47,870 Do you mind me, Em? You didn't realise the average age tonight is 52, did you? 474 00:24:47,871 --> 00:24:49,689 You'd be giving them all cardiac arrest. 475 00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:50,740 Oh, shut up. 476 00:24:50,930 --> 00:24:51,980 You look beautiful. 477 00:24:52,230 --> 00:24:53,610 Albert is playing in his cot. 478 00:24:53,890 --> 00:24:55,510 He'll settle down now in a minute. 479 00:24:55,890 --> 00:24:57,690 Thanks again for having him tonight. 480 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,560 Then you never do, cos you only ever think about yourself. 481 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,330 Thanks a lot. 482 00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:06,200 Luke? What's the matter, Prash? 483 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,530 I'm black in a bit. 484 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,890 What about dinner? 485 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:13,220 Sorry, the door's open. No, it's fine. 486 00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:15,740 OK, we ready? 487 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,080 Yep. It's been very nice. 488 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,430 Well, you don't scrub up so bad yourself, Michael Jackson. 489 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,010 Thanks. 490 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,640 Right, let's go gala. 491 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,310 And black dye refers to the men, not the women. 492 00:25:33,830 --> 00:25:34,880 You're not right. 493 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:37,590 Tang, I wanted to get it right. 494 00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:39,100 Oh, God's sake. 495 00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:43,469 Look, Uncle, I know you're still cross with me, and I'm really sorry about the 496 00:25:43,470 --> 00:25:46,829 Cocker's thing. Cocker's? Cocker's. But I have finished with him now. 497 00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:48,250 He is history. Gone. 498 00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:49,600 Skedaddled. Kaput. 499 00:25:50,390 --> 00:25:53,890 I really want to concentrate on my work because I love retail. 500 00:25:54,121 --> 00:25:56,089 Do you? 501 00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:57,140 Yes. 502 00:25:59,610 --> 00:26:02,080 Please don't send me back home. I couldn't bear it. 503 00:26:03,510 --> 00:26:04,890 Evening. Hiya. 504 00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:08,800 I see you two have sorted out your differences. 505 00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:11,049 I'm going to go on ahead. I've got to check something. 506 00:26:11,050 --> 00:26:12,100 Oh, OK. 507 00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:16,309 Parvati was just telling me how committed she is to her career, which 508 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:17,360 me very happy. 509 00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:19,290 I still have so much left to teach her. 510 00:26:19,291 --> 00:26:21,149 Shall we? 511 00:26:21,150 --> 00:26:22,200 Yes. 512 00:26:39,929 --> 00:26:41,450 Ah, here you are. 513 00:26:42,070 --> 00:26:43,120 How lovely. 514 00:26:43,430 --> 00:26:46,130 Hiya. Stella, you look great. 515 00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:47,500 Aw, thank you. 516 00:26:47,610 --> 00:26:49,770 I hired this. I did it from frocks for you. 517 00:26:49,970 --> 00:26:51,020 It was so cheap. 518 00:26:51,030 --> 00:26:52,080 You'd never know. 519 00:26:52,550 --> 00:26:53,650 You look lovely, too. 520 00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,150 Doesn't she, though? 521 00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:57,570 We almost didn't make it here at all. 522 00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:01,770 You must be Andy. 523 00:27:02,130 --> 00:27:03,180 Hurry, yes. 524 00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:08,480 Stella. Well, we're all sitting on the same table, which is fun. Fantastic. 525 00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,870 Can't wait. 526 00:27:17,391 --> 00:27:19,419 Thank you. 527 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:20,880 You did brilliantly. 528 00:27:31,241 --> 00:27:38,289 Oh, Lukey, were you drinking, mate? Just so you know, this reformed character 529 00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:39,570 act, it don't wash for me. 530 00:27:40,010 --> 00:27:44,349 You might have fooled me, but you don't fool me. And get this, all right? Zoe 531 00:27:44,350 --> 00:27:46,410 don't want you. She never did. 532 00:27:46,770 --> 00:27:49,710 I asked her to marry me the other night, and she said yes. 533 00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:55,189 And I ain't afraid of you, Len, so be my guest, do your worst, cos you come 534 00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:57,489 anywhere near my family... Sorry, who's wrong with you? 535 00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:59,230 Not threatening me, are you, Luke? 536 00:27:59,670 --> 00:28:01,530 Cos there's a lot of witnesses, yeah? 537 00:28:01,950 --> 00:28:03,000 The thing is... 538 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:06,140 You lay one finger on me, I'll have my briefcase done for GBH. 539 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,630 And then we'll look after Zoe when you're inside. 540 00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,590 Hmm? 541 00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:18,380 See you again, please. 542 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,080 Trudy, you and Elmer, you watch. 543 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,660 Or else she'd come to her senses. I can't say I blame the woman. 544 00:28:32,661 --> 00:28:36,099 Better just give it up as a bad job and make the most of that complimentary 545 00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,150 prosecco. 546 00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,540 Get one for me, will you? 547 00:28:39,660 --> 00:28:40,710 I'll wait for you. 548 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,420 Actually, get something, too. 549 00:28:53,460 --> 00:28:54,720 Well, what a coincidence. 550 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,610 Isn't it? 551 00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:58,830 You look incredible. 552 00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:02,140 I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you. 553 00:29:02,230 --> 00:29:03,280 So don't. 554 00:29:06,530 --> 00:29:11,309 Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's charity dinner, courtesy of Jackson Martian 555 00:29:11,310 --> 00:29:12,850 Jackson, is about to commence. 556 00:29:13,310 --> 00:29:14,450 Please take your seats. 557 00:29:18,310 --> 00:29:19,360 Sorry I'm late. 558 00:29:22,250 --> 00:29:23,890 McCain. You invited me. 559 00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:25,990 I've been so looking forward to it. 560 00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:27,700 Me too. 561 00:29:40,490 --> 00:29:42,110 Your phone's been off for a while. 562 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,290 No. What's wrong? 563 00:29:47,390 --> 00:29:53,149 OK, so this marriage, you and me, it's only going to work if we're both 564 00:29:53,150 --> 00:29:54,890 completely honest with each other. 565 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:56,240 I know. 566 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,590 So go on then, what have you done? 567 00:30:05,070 --> 00:30:06,190 Who gave this to Jack? 568 00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,510 I wanted to tell you. 569 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:18,759 Honest, I did. But then we went away and you proposed and... 570 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,240 I didn't want to spoil it all. 571 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,080 No secrets, though. 572 00:30:26,081 --> 00:30:30,619 If Lenny thinks we keep things from each other, he'll use it and he'll come 573 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:31,670 between us. 574 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,120 That trifle was fantastic. 575 00:30:44,620 --> 00:30:46,460 Gosh, you were hungry, weren't you? 576 00:30:46,461 --> 00:30:48,879 I've been looking forward to that all day. 577 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,930 Who chose the menu? 578 00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:53,640 Andy. He's been very clever, haven't you, darling? 579 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,470 I couldn't have done any of it without you both. 580 00:30:58,780 --> 00:30:59,960 Oh, for God's sake. 581 00:30:59,961 --> 00:31:04,759 Sir Marcus has business for you. Do you still think of yourself as an incomer to 582 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,810 Ponterbury? 583 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,340 Ponterbury? Well, no, we've been here a few years now. 584 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,260 Still got your accent, though. 585 00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:13,260 I haven't started saying boyo yet. 586 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,140 No, and my wife's Irish, so... Are you? 587 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,920 But you sound so Welsh. 588 00:31:19,921 --> 00:31:21,779 She's not my wife. Oh, I'm not his wife. 589 00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:23,760 We just know each other from work, like. 590 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,340 Yeah, Emma's my daughter, isn't she? 591 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,360 Waffer, thin mint, anyone? 592 00:31:32,940 --> 00:31:35,080 No, better not. Meant to be on a diet. 593 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:36,740 Oh, what for? 594 00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:42,089 Honestly, I think you reach a certain age... You may as well just accept your 595 00:31:42,090 --> 00:31:43,350 body and eat what you like. 596 00:31:43,530 --> 00:31:47,190 Anyway, I was saying to Andy, you've got such a pretty face. 597 00:31:48,030 --> 00:31:50,330 You could be one of those plus -size models. 598 00:31:52,570 --> 00:31:53,620 Thanks, Jan. 599 00:32:09,790 --> 00:32:10,840 Fine. 600 00:32:16,030 --> 00:32:20,849 Oi! Make that a spritz, then you'll ask your pint. Look, what I was saying was 601 00:32:20,850 --> 00:32:25,810 this. The small businesses of Pontyberry need to stick together. 602 00:32:26,410 --> 00:32:31,049 Liddles are chipped in! Oh, that's rich coming from you, Mrs... Johnny come 603 00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:34,569 lately with your two -bit no -good bus firm, making out you know everything 604 00:32:34,570 --> 00:32:38,289 about how our business is run. That's why you tell a well -fed guy. Please, 605 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,730 let's keep things civil. 606 00:32:40,010 --> 00:32:44,989 They are your two -bit buses, Guy Davis. And if it weren't for me, they'd still 607 00:32:44,990 --> 00:32:49,829 be sat on your forecourt gathering just brand -ass buses. They've put brand -ass 608 00:32:49,830 --> 00:32:52,470 buses on the map. And don't you forget it, goodbye. 609 00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:54,470 Ladies and gentlemen. 610 00:32:55,410 --> 00:32:58,960 Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just have your attention. Don't worry. 611 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,660 I'll be brief, because I am one. 612 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,400 Jan and I... And Michael. 613 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:10,559 And Michael. In fact, all of us at Jackson Marsh in Jackson would like to 614 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,339 you for coming here tonight. I think you'll all agree that that meal was 615 00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:17,460 to none, top notch, and fan -dabby -dozy. 616 00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,740 And it doesn't stop there. Oh, no. 617 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:24,460 We've got loads more still coming right at you. We've got dancing, karaoke, 618 00:33:25,140 --> 00:33:26,360 raffles... 619 00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:28,810 Oh, I forgot the raffle. 620 00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:32,210 Didn't? Oh, for God's sake, you idiot. 621 00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:33,609 Sorry, OK? 622 00:33:33,610 --> 00:33:35,010 Um, oops. 623 00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:37,970 Sorry, everyone, no raffle. 624 00:33:39,130 --> 00:33:40,970 Our bad, what can I say? 625 00:33:41,550 --> 00:33:43,330 Someone forgot to arrange it. 626 00:33:43,670 --> 00:33:45,890 Oh, what a pity. Well, that is a shame. 627 00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:48,530 He's winding you up. 628 00:33:48,770 --> 00:33:53,729 Sorry? Yeah, it's true, Michael haven't done a raffle, but that's because you've 629 00:33:53,730 --> 00:33:54,780 done... 630 00:33:55,530 --> 00:33:57,410 An auction of promises, instead. 631 00:34:00,010 --> 00:34:01,060 Haven't you? 632 00:34:01,770 --> 00:34:02,820 Yes. 633 00:34:03,130 --> 00:34:04,180 That's right. 634 00:34:04,550 --> 00:34:05,690 I'll be back in a minute. 635 00:34:07,830 --> 00:34:12,429 Well, like I say, thanks for coming and have a great night. Thank you. 636 00:34:15,530 --> 00:34:16,910 Sorry, I've got to take this. 637 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,820 leathers and a free car wash. 638 00:34:32,980 --> 00:34:35,560 What do you expect me to do, give away a bloody car? 639 00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,460 They're all dead traps anyway. 640 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:41,679 Down the side, save them one of your day trips. How many passengers you lot now? 641 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,780 You are really... Where are you going? 642 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,930 Trust my legs, that's all right with you. 643 00:34:47,340 --> 00:34:49,060 Right, what have you got for me? 644 00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:52,030 Six month membership to Flubberbest of their style. 645 00:34:52,031 --> 00:34:54,819 And Christ knows there's a lot of people here tonight who need it. 646 00:34:54,820 --> 00:34:56,920 Wow. Well, thanks everyone. 647 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,740 Don't get your hopes up. 648 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,690 Some of them prizes are the right what to them. 649 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,380 Especially David's, isn't it? 650 00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:05,380 Oh, put a sock in his face. 651 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,770 I've changed my mind. You're the only thing in my mind. 652 00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:11,620 Gillette, why are you being like this? 653 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,360 We agreed that's how we do it. 654 00:35:14,340 --> 00:35:15,480 Sorry about that, Mott. 655 00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:17,180 They don't get out very often. 656 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,570 Don't apologise. 657 00:35:18,571 --> 00:35:23,399 Tonight's not quite what I hoped it would be, to be honest. 658 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,900 Well, wait until the karaoke kicks in. That'll get everyone going. 659 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,250 Come on. 660 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,640 Don't hang up. Don't hang up. 661 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,650 Colette. 662 00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:37,160 Shall we get some fresh air? 663 00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:41,660 Excuse us. Hello. 664 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:48,079 Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my lovely assistant, Mr 665 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,130 Michael Jackson. 666 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,560 Not the real one. Sorry, folks. 667 00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:58,380 Can you moonwalk? No. 668 00:35:58,381 --> 00:35:59,569 No, sorry. 669 00:35:59,570 --> 00:36:02,880 How can you be called Michael Jackson and not be able to moonwalk? 670 00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:04,440 Go on, give it a go. 671 00:36:04,750 --> 00:36:05,800 No. Come on. 672 00:36:09,521 --> 00:36:10,969 Now 673 00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:23,069 you've 674 00:36:23,070 --> 00:36:26,029 humiliated me in front of everyone, shall we get on with the auction? 675 00:36:26,030 --> 00:36:27,080 Yeah, why not? 676 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:28,800 Offer. 677 00:36:30,529 --> 00:36:33,810 I hate the way Colette bosses you around all the time. 678 00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:38,270 If I was married to you, I'd be lovely to you all the time. 679 00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:41,010 It's not Colette's fault. 680 00:36:41,630 --> 00:36:45,409 She's tried really hard, but I don't think she ever really got over what 681 00:36:45,410 --> 00:36:46,950 happened. Your affair? 682 00:36:47,450 --> 00:36:50,160 It wasn't even an affair. It was just some stupid fling. 683 00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:51,730 So is that where I am? 684 00:36:52,850 --> 00:36:54,230 Just some stupid fling. 685 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,220 Going twice, our last item of the night. 686 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,460 Sold for £55. 687 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:17,000 Two tickets on Brenda's buses for a magical mystery tour to Port Talbot. 688 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:18,610 Thanks, 689 00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:21,400 everyone. Next up, karaoke. 690 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,080 And here they are, Ant and Dave. 691 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,860 Oh, wasn't that brilliant? 692 00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:36,230 Fantastic. Yeah. As long as everyone pays up. They'd pay up, why wouldn't 693 00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:37,930 Andy Brandy? Yeah. 694 00:37:39,910 --> 00:37:41,010 Andy Brandy? 695 00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:44,550 Say one thing to your ex -wife. 696 00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,670 She's got very poor taste in men. 697 00:37:47,470 --> 00:37:50,330 That doesn't make sense, actually. She married me. 698 00:37:50,650 --> 00:37:51,700 Oh, yeah. 699 00:38:10,049 --> 00:38:11,669 Ma, I'm going to wear darkers now. 700 00:38:11,910 --> 00:38:13,070 Why, isn't he early? 701 00:38:13,490 --> 00:38:14,930 Yeah, I know where I'm not cut. 702 00:38:14,990 --> 00:38:17,040 Marcus has offered to give me a lift home. 703 00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:18,340 Have you? 704 00:38:18,341 --> 00:38:20,249 Thanks for a brilliant night. 705 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:21,300 Pleasure. 706 00:38:22,370 --> 00:38:23,420 So, 707 00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:28,440 in for a penny? 708 00:38:28,530 --> 00:38:30,030 How do you feel about dancing? 709 00:38:30,270 --> 00:38:32,750 A little too fast for one. 710 00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:36,390 Now I've finally found someone to pretend about. 711 00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:05,820 with a big fat fraud really, Daddy. 712 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,610 Tragic Eve. 713 00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:57,480 make a move? 714 00:39:58,390 --> 00:39:59,440 Oh. 715 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:04,470 Okay. Um, I'll call us a cab and I'll get them to drop you off first. 716 00:40:05,210 --> 00:40:06,260 You could do that. 717 00:40:07,070 --> 00:40:09,780 Or you could just get them to take us both back to yours. 718 00:40:11,070 --> 00:40:12,120 What? 719 00:40:12,550 --> 00:40:14,780 You said you had the place yourself tonight. 720 00:40:16,010 --> 00:40:17,070 Oh, I do. I do. 721 00:40:18,710 --> 00:40:19,760 Go on, then. 722 00:40:49,710 --> 00:40:53,590 I'll be over at ten, I told you time and again, but you're late. 723 00:40:54,350 --> 00:40:56,010 I'll wait around the bell. 724 00:41:29,230 --> 00:41:32,720 No, but what is it about the Welsh? I mean, how come they can all sing so 725 00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:36,370 Is it something in your diet? Well, apparently it's to do with our jaw. 726 00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:37,609 Your what? 727 00:41:37,610 --> 00:41:38,660 Yeah, the jaw. 728 00:41:38,870 --> 00:41:39,920 Nice. 729 00:41:43,550 --> 00:41:44,630 Thank you for tonight. 730 00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,810 Really. It's a pleasure. 731 00:41:47,970 --> 00:41:50,250 Best fake date I've had in a long time. 732 00:41:50,251 --> 00:41:51,509 Me too. 733 00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:54,390 So good I sort of forgot it was fake. 734 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,440 Or maybe it's not out of your way. 735 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,640 I'm a good guy. I can take a detour. 736 00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:23,870 Emma, this is insane. 737 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:25,500 Where did it come from? 738 00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:28,699 You know, I was just happily going along, minding my business. You weren't 739 00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:30,799 happy, though, were you? How could you be? 740 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:31,850 And then you. 741 00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:39,660 I feel like I'm... I'm running down this really deep hill, really fast. 742 00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:44,660 And I know I'm going to fall over any minute and really fucking hurt myself. 743 00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:47,870 But I feel about this world at the moment. 744 00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:50,000 And I can't stop what I'm doing. 745 00:42:50,220 --> 00:42:52,080 I don't want to stop what I'm doing. 746 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,760 Me neither. I love you, Marcus. 747 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,180 We are actually doing this, aren't we? 748 00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:42,480 We actually are. 749 00:43:42,481 --> 00:43:46,719 Keep it down. These walls are paper thin. We don't want our neighbours to 750 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,780 Oh, you're all right. 751 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,660 I happen to know she's not in. 752 00:44:00,801 --> 00:44:08,349 Just because you've chosen to shack up with a bit of Valley's wrath doesn't 753 00:44:08,350 --> 00:44:11,909 Katie has to be dragged into the gutter with you. Now you're talking demented. 754 00:44:11,910 --> 00:44:14,380 We're teenagers, Ben. It's our job to be demented. 755 00:44:14,730 --> 00:44:17,130 As of today, I am putting an embargo on sex. 756 00:44:17,610 --> 00:44:20,150 What? This is a hostage situation. 757 00:44:20,590 --> 00:44:22,670 It's not Steve Wright on a Sunday. 758 00:44:23,230 --> 00:44:24,370 Stay where you are, son. 759 00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:28,930 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56122

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