All language subtitles for Amuse Me (2013)

All them sprays.

All poison screams.

What the hell?

what you're going to ask.

Who the fudge am I, and how the fudge
did you get here?

Am I right about that?

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh, you mean like, maybe, maybe you had
too much to drink and ended up here.

Yeah. Right?

Oh, well, um, that could be a
possibility. Do you normally wake up

rubber in your asshole?

What the fuck?

I didn't do anything like that to you!

Yet!

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me? You must know.

I'm lonely.

Nobody is here to be my playmate.

Some people can live by themselves, but
me, I need social contact.

I like that. I love it.

If you hit like a man,

Then you will get hit like a man. Do you
understand?

Oh, that's so... I'm going to play a
song and

you are going to perform a cryptid.

And I need to be aroused down there.

But I'm not selfish. You can be aroused
too. If you feel the need to arouse

yourself, do it while you're arousing
me. Alright?

What?

The rules are unsettled away from this
league.

Call and kill, that's the sense we need
to hear.

That's the goal from Dino, that's his
line.

We'll distort your hate, give you
shadow.

Why didn't you take the rest of it off?

Well, you told me you wanted me to give
you a strip fee, so I just

gave you that I was gonna strip.

Listen, if this is a joke, please,
please just stop it now, because

I'm getting really scared.

Oh, goody! Because you're supposed to be
scared. If you ever stop being scared,

let me know. Because I'll fucking get
the shit out of you, you fucking twat!

Okay? Are you scared?

Because if you're not, I'm going to
fucking terrify you!

Okay.

The mills get bread from workers and

take a company.

Produce a poop and cut in a point with
wings

and eyes.

Which buzzes the wave like a dumpy.

To build young fences To warm rims They
drown Bewitched by the

wind

When will I see Mom and Daddy

again?

Well, Peter, you're...

I had to make sure that you stayed
knocked out because you're troublesome.

Look at you already.

So I wanted to save us a lot of hassle.

Yeah, it's for my pleasure.

So I had to make sure that I could do
things without your knowledge because

you'd cramp up. Now you're behaved.

That's exactly how you were when you
were knocked out. Okay, did you rape me?

Why, are you sore down there?

Please, tell me. Tell me he did.

All right, well, honestly, some things
were done.

Without your knowledge, like I said
before, 5, 6, 7, 8, I did!

But I have pictures because I wanted to
remember.

In case I forgot anything, it's all
here.

Are you ready to look at your stuff?

I always look at your stuff a lot.

That night?

Oh, oh, this is my favorite.

Handsome guy. Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Is ooh a letter of the alphabet?

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M,
N. Ooh.

P. Don't P.

I know that you do what I command you to
do, but do not do that.

Oh, it's I command you to do that.

I don't command you if I say I command
you.

thing that I did was that I stuck my
finger into your pussy.

But that was just for a picture. I like
to look at stuff like that when I feel

lonesome.

Okay, show's over.

You're a pervert.

I hope you are, too. That way we'll get
along.

Well, if you're not, I heard that Alphys
is trapped.

Retract them while you talk.

Are you going to rape me?

I'd not rape if you'd say yes.

I will never say yes.

Then I guess we'll use your word. I'm
going to rape you. But I'd rather not

the fuck out of you while I'm fucking
the beat out of you. Relax!

Relax! Relax!

Is there

anything I can say?

To make you stop what you're doing?

Um, yes.

There is one thing you could say that
would make me stop.

Okay, uh, and what would that be?

You have to say, stop or I'll shoot!

But in order for that to make me stop,
you have to have a gun.

Wait, please,

I don't want to yell!

Um, I'm sure that you don't have a gun.

Because I checked.

I did a full body cavity search.

You must be really good if you still got
a gun after that procedure.

So, let's see now.

As long as you're nice, the only
shooting is going to be my load into

your holes.

If you behave, I won't make any more
holes than the ones you already have.

just use the holes you were born with.

Except fat.

Do you have an innie or an outie?

I had an outie until I got a Toyota.

Alright,

so we have a deal. Let's stick on it.

Can I use the bathroom first?

You have to hold it.

Until I say you can go, and by holding
it, I meant hold the urine in your

bladder, not hold my peepee.

It's about your peepee. Hold the peepee,
yes. And a cockatoo.

Not a cockatoo, cockatoo.

Cocky as well.

I like to look at things as tit for tat.

And I like to look at tits and tats.

Couldn't help noticing you have some
nice breasts there.

I paid you a compliment.

What does someone do?

Well, they're paid a compliment.

Say thank you. No, they give the change
because I paid a compliment.

I'm going to give you a compliment now.

You have nice tits.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Bill.

Bill.

Bill. Come here.

My bad, Brian.

Do what?

Back here, I'm just playing around.

You remember this?

Oh, how could you? You're unconscious.

I'm not.

I'm just helping you.

Are these real or fake?

Well... That's not such real bone.

It could be real.

No, no, you have to keep it spread.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Spread.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

I love you.

I want to drop a lollipop on his nipple,
and then I want to... Help

me.

Help me.

Wait.

His nipple down there.

Nipple.

Nipple.

Nipple.

I like it.

Yes.

You know what they say about the guys
with the big shoe sizes?

Now for my next trick.

Must die.

Just occur to me, you're full of piss
and shit, right?

Well, not just full of shit. Full of
piss and shit.

Literally, not figuratively.

Even though I love your figuratively.

You have a nice figuratively.

So, I'm afraid if I start licking,
wrecking it around, licking it,

that your flower is going to squirt me
in the face.

Well, don't worry, that happens. I know
it's not your fault.

But...

The other problem is you're going to
fart. So I don't want the fragrance, the

fluid, the solid, or the gas on this.

Why ruin this with a solid, liquid, or
gas from your ass and pee -pee?

Mm -mm.

Let's get you evacuated, shall we?

I know CTPR.

Pee -pee, pee -pee, pee -pee!

Can you help me? You bet your asshole.

No.

I mean, help me squat.

I'm happy I can go from this point. I
don't want to miss the ball.

When you're right, you're right.

Let's play a game like Limbo. Let's see
how low you can go.

love playing with you. Oh, I love it.

Do you like the clothes that I got you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, this will work. Bang, bang, bang.

Do you like dry humping me?

I like dry humping you.

Let's try that.

Let's do it.

Up.

Up.

Up in the air. Up.

All right.

All right, turn around, turn around,
turn around.

Turn around, clown.

Oh, help me, clown. Help the clown.

We're not in rhythm.

I have to learn rhythm.

So, I have an idea.

Let's just snap it. That's the rhythm.

Rhythm and melody. How can we do it?

Juggling.

You have to do more than one thing at a
time.

Juggle the... Oh, they're juggles, but I
don't... I don't know.

Over here!

Over here!

You agree.

I have bad timing, right?

Not evil timing, bad timing.

It's okay to be honest.

All right.

Do you know the alphabet song?

I do, too.

I want you to sing the alphabet song
while I do something, because I want to

practice my timing. Can you do it?

Can you do it?

Oh, come on! Why is it so hard?

I wasn't talking about that.

Sometimes you say a statement and it
sounds like you mean something else, but

really mean it. Why is it so difficult
to do it? It's a simple kind of thing.

You know what I'm saying? Are you
bashful? Is that it? You don't want me

you sing off -key?

No! I've got to say, hit it, Buster!

Ready?

I want you to sing it loudly.

Slow and loud.

One.

Two. Three.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H,

I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q,

R, S, T, U, V, W, X,

Y, and Z.

Oh.

Oh, you can't clap at your own
performance?

That didn't seem to end correctly.

That's because I didn't finish the song.

Do you know that part of the song that
says, now I know my ABCs?

Can you do it this time? The whole song?

Trying to educate you. You're not going
to be able to go back to school.

You're here forever and ever.

That's marriage, baby.

So, what was the answer?

I'll sing the first part. You sing the
ending.

Ready?

Now

I

know my ABCs.

Next time won't you sing with me?

Okay, you start it.

I don't want the thing.

I'm not confident.

Tiny thing is tomorrow.

Thank you. You're a good training
partner.

No, no. I like the way that looks.

I'm going to reward you now.

Oh, you don't give me something
personally?

That's very fucking ladylike.

You're such a lady.

I know what's going on.

You're left upstairs, can't kiss me
because I need to kiss the foots

And they want to have the first kiss,
right? I know that's the truth.

So, I'm going to make out with you
downstairs, but I can't hear what your

pussy's saying, so I want the pussy lips
upstairs to meow.

You're going to meow while I play with
your pussy, my tongue.

Meow.

Do you know how to meow?

What does it sound like?

Meow. And I want it loud.

Can you do it loudly?

Wait, lift up this leg a little bit.

Put it on there.

Yeah, that'll help me.

Get right in there.

So, I'm going to do that, and you just
keep meowing.

And then give me a big meow when I get
you going.

So I know when to stop.

Ready?

I don't hear you. Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

Bye.

Bye.

She does what I tell her, but she's got
no personality.

into my skin as I woke up just drifting
jawless.

Water, water everywhere.

I've got a drop to drink.

When I started drinking, people thought
the rain

was hurting neighbors.

Water, water everywhere.

In general, my

Good ships on their passing, cold
islands passing,

the edge of the sea.

Moving,

good city, moving,

the dawn of moving,

mountain to me.

I don't know.

Don't try to talk.

Actually, you can't talk. Only an idiot
would try to do something that they'll

fail at. Me, I only do something if I
know I can do it.

Yeah,

you said it, sister.

Gooby Doo is my favorite cartoon.

I hate how we can get together like
this.

Every day should be a day like this,
right? Oh, are you scared?

Waking up naked.

Naked with no pants or pantyhose or
panties.

Where is the laughing?

Where is the family?

Let's go rescue them.

Well, it's a good thing you're cool.

Because the word of the day is
cooperation.

Yes.

Do you like that word?

Cooperation.

Well, if you don't like that word, we
can change it.

Not the way I usually meet a nice lady.

I usually like for her to wake up from
drugs with her clothes still on.

And then I get to know her a little bit
before she strips really, really hot.

And then I drug her again. And I do
things without her knowledge or consent.

I don't like potential.

I may not be the brightest clown in the
whole world, but somebody tells me

that girls love having their tits played
with.

After all, what would be the reason for
them looking so great?

And they feel good?

I like feeling them, touching them.

I like nipping the lickles.

Don't react like that.

Licking the nipples?

I don't want to lick your nipples.

Do we need to start a relationship with
domestic

violence?

I'll take that as a no.

So, uh, you know, something that might
make you change your attitude

is when I introduce myself to you.

You may not recognize me.

I am Bozo the Rapist.

So at least if you were going to get
raped by somebody, it should be a

celebrity.

So after we do our little first day on
the job thing, some employee training

for you, I'm going to leave a rule book
with you

so you can study so you know how to
fucking behave!

to be turned on.

So one thing I was thinking about is you
have knife full lips.

There are a lot of things I can do with
that mouth. A lot of things you can do

with that mouth.

So I just thought, no, no, no, hear me
out. Nothing's happening yet.

Hear me out.

I was thinking it would be just so
romantical if we tell our children that

first kiss happened.

Before you even said your first words.

So I'm going to do you a favor and take
this out of your knife.

No.

You have to kiss me like you love me.
Don't kiss me like you fucking hate me

because I'll fucking... I'm going to
leave it outside.

You have an imagination.

And clowns help people imagine stuff.

Imagine my dick in your mouth.

To be happy.

I'm having so much fun.

It's all because of you.

Thank you. You're quite welcome.

You're welcome here.

I welcome you to my house.

Well, not really a house, is it?

Thankfully, they don't complain for
free!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It's not to get to the other side. When
you say, the chicken went to the other

side, it's the same as asking, why did
the chicken cross the road? The answer

the question that's stupid and stupid in
the brain.

Don't patronize me.

You're not my customer. Don't patronize
me.

I could ask you, why did the chicken
cross the road?

No, why did the chicken get to the other
side?

To cross the road.

It's easy.

It's easy.

Pleasure.

Sometimes punishment.

Staying on the topic of chicken, what
came first, the chicken or the egg?

Uh, the egg.

How can an egg have an orgasm?

An egg can't come.

I don't know why people get stumped by
these questions.

They ponder, they write essays.

Useless. And it makes me feel stupid
because I see that people are taking...

Stupid stuff seriously.

Serious stuff seriously.

I'm gonna play a game. Not too serious
there for a second.

If you want to.

Alright.

I'll be right back.

I

lubricated

it.

So, um, I always wanted to see this
trick perform in my mind!

But, you know, sometimes the imagination
is clear, and sometimes it's not. So as

much as I wanted to imagine it, I
couldn't make it happen. So you're here

make this game work. So I'm going to put
this egg in that hole.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Let's talk about this.

Sure.

I admire how you stuck up for yourself.

Because why would you have a chicken egg
when you have human eggs in that hole?

Let's do it in the other room.

My part time is money.

If you relax, it'll go in. I'll go very

slowly. Remember, I have many eggs.
Let's try to get it right the first

Thank you.

Don't push.

Pull. Pull.

Accept it.

Accept.

Jesus. Egg is your personal savior.

Accept it.

Accept it.

Almost there. Almost there. Come on. Oh,
yes. You got it. I'm so proud of you.

That made my day.

and assume that you've never done it
doggy balloon style.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Does that bother you?

Does it bother you? No.

Didn't have a cherry?

Pop something else.

Oh,

I

think she has potential.

I'm really beginning to like her.

She's a dream come true.

Thank you.

and chicks and dogs long to breath and
call and all

I'm sorry.

I said watch out.

Did you rape me last night?

Why would you ask me a question like
that? Me of all people.

Yeah.

I'm really sore down there.

Please tell me the truth.

Trust me. What you don't know can't hurt
you.

Your TV hurts.

You can't know.

You were raped all over the place.

Fucked here, fucked there, fucked
everywhere.

But the bright side is, you are
unconscious.

That we even have to fix.

You misbehave sometimes.

You don't do what you're supposed to do.

While people are doing what you do.

So, everything has a silver lining. As
long as the sun is behind the cloud, the

cloud has a silver lining. If the sun is
over there, fuck you, son.

You didn't make my cloud silver lining.

But what if I get pregnant?

Well, let's hope it's a girl.

Don't worry, I'll wait until she does.

You're old enough to eat french fries.
You're old enough to suck dick.

No, I'm not making a mistake. Don't say
that

about the woman I love.

Do you mind if I kiss you where you pee?

I've never had a celebrity pleasure me
before. I'd be honored.

Oh, you're not just saying that to make
me feel you, are you?

Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking
about my situation, and I realize I

can't do anything to change the event,
but I can change my attitude about it,

so... Since I'm here, I might as well
enjoy myself and enjoy the time I have

with you.

Can you sleep with me tonight there?

This doesn't really look like the place
that's right for me. I wouldn't feel

comfortable being here.

Please?

You would sleep with me?

Voluntarily?

Handcuffs on or off?

Um, I can keep them on.

I mean, if anybody attacks, I know
you'll protect me. I trust you.

Thank you for watching.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good dog!

Thank you.

This is where I was kept for ten notes
how long.

Welcome back.

I have to admit I'm pretty excited about
making love to you with your eyes open.

It's about time you actively participate
in our lovemaking.

Are you going to kill me?

Eventually, but at least we have
tonight.

That clown used to be my partner.

He got shot in the head one night.

It sucked to see him so lonely, so I got
the idea to keep him happy in this

remote location.

If the right type of girl was driving
drunk, I'd arrest her.

But that was just to get her into
handcuffs.

Then I injected her with the drug that
erases the last 15 minutes of memory.

EMTs have it in every ambulance.

And on top of that, I injected her with
something to knock her out for a while.

Double whammy.

The guy you know as Bozo can't get an
erection.

But the girls didn't know that.

I'm sure that you were pretty sure the
first time I banged you.

Bozo ends each night by giving the girl
an injection, and I start every night by

blowing a few loads.

Everybody's happy.

Sometimes a girl ends up being a twat,
so I'd have to get rid of her.

Don't trust any of these bitches

And no way more.

And by the way, I did not appreciate you
taking that long to get wet.

Amuse me and you may keep on living.

Fuckin' much of life! We can have this
way! We have just to go! Control their

space!

I'm on the ground!

I'm on the ground! I'm free!

I'm on the ground! I'm on the ground!

I'm on the ground!

I'm on the ground!

I'm on the

ground!

Coming for your destiny. You've got the
shotgun.

You've got the energy. You've got the
gun. You've got the gun.

You've got the gun.

You've got the gun.

We're starting to get down. One more
time.

Down! One more time!