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1
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Nice!
2
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I love this belt.
3
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Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon?
4
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This lamp. Sweet. Oh.
5
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Donnie's gonna be here any minute.
6
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Yeah. Whoa.
7
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Welcome home, Sean Floyd.
8
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All right, Donnie's here. See you guys tomorrow.
9
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All right, honey.
10
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Have fun camping, kiddo. Bye!
11
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Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh.
12
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Oh, my God.
13
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Ooh.
14
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Holy shit.
15
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What is this? I don't know!
16
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Oh, my God. Work!
17
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Just walk over, hit the button on the TV. What are they doing?
18
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Okay, I'll see you guys later.
19
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What are you doing?
20
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Dude, what are you doing? Are you serious?
21
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Sean Floyd, back on American soil for one week only!
22
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Dude, turn that off. My little brother is crying in there.
23
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That's crazy porn.
24
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She's a big girl.
25
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What are you wearing?
26
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They're my hiking shorts.
27
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Why do those cover your belly button but not your balls?
28
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What's that on your face? You spilled something on your face.
29
00:02:39,047 --> 00:02:42,258
It looks like you drank a glass of Ed Sheeran's pubes.
30
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In fact, the '80s nostalgia wave we're living in, it's about to crest.
31
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When it does, I'm gonna be swimming in puss. Know why?
32
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Are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache?
33
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I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache, my friend.
34
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You're growing a coke 'stache. Mmhmm. Donnie Escobar, right here.
35
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Wow. That's right.
36
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How you doing, pal?
37
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I'm good. How are you? Glad to have you back.
38
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Ah, it's good to be back and
39
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Oh, we're hugging.
40
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" That I'm sipping on "
41
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" Ass that I'm gripping on Leather that I'm sitting on "
42
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" Put this in your stereo "
43
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" Press play, now here we go "
44
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Oh, hey, dudes.
45
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'Sup, Virgin Megastore?
46
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Excuse me? Oh, shit.
47
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Hey, Mrs. Abelar. Hey.
48
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Hi.
49
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Jeremy, what are you doing over there?
50
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Jeremy!
51
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I can see you are jerking off the walking stick!
52
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Mom, I'm packing.
53
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Your dad and I are leaving in an hour, and I want you out of here ASAP.
54
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Okay, I'm going!
55
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Oh, God, I so need this vacation.
56
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Six hours, I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel.
57
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Bye, Mrs. Abelar.
58
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Look who the fuck is back.
59
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What's up, man? What's up, man?
60
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Yo, you dogs ready to get fucked up?
61
00:03:51,286 --> 00:03:52,412
Oh, yeah. Show him the ID.
62
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It's a military ID.
63
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1991, dude.
64
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What? You buy stuff with this? Fuck yeah, he does.
65
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Jack Jessop reporting for booze.
66
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You don't look like this guy.
67
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This guy looks like a soldier.
68
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You look like Pocahontas.
69
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No one says shit to an Army ranger. All right.
70
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I found this outside the booth at the gun and knife show
71
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when I was picking up this bad boy. Check it out. Check it out.
72
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Huh?
73
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Whoa. Oh, shit.
74
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Hoorah!
75
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Pretty tight, huh? Yeah, it's cool.
76
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This is in case we run into any crazy shit out in the woods.
77
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Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck! Whoa, man!
78
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I'm Sorry, dude. Come on, man.
79
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I try to act like I'm riding a bike, but I still got the training wheels on.
80
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You feel me? Yeah.
81
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Let's pack up the van. Let's do it!
82
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Yeah, let's just get out of here. Let's pack it up. Hit the road.
83
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Why are there so many bags?
84
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What is all this shit? Oh!
85
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Uh Yeah, there's a slight change of plans, dude.
86
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It sucks total donkey dick.
87
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Stop going through my shit, perv. Sarah?
88
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No. No. No!
89
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No, no. No way. No, no, no.
90
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For real? Why does this feel so awkward?
91
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:01,856
Jeremy, did you not tell them that we were coming?
92
00:05:02,565 --> 00:05:05,735
I was I'm telling them now. Like, they're learning of it right now.
93
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Are you kidding? They're coming.
94
00:05:08,821 --> 00:05:09,948
Welcome back, Sean.
95
00:05:10,531 --> 00:05:11,824
Hey! Hey, what's up?
96
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Do you not hug people anymore? Oh, yeah, sorry.
97
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They don't hug in Germany? Yeah.
98
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Welcome back. I mean, I'm back. You're not back.
99
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I'm just back for the next week. Hey, Sarah, what's up?
100
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Were you really in Germany?
101
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There was a rumor you were in rehab for bath salts.
102
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Everyone's talking about it. What? No.
103
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Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah.
104
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Cool hiking gear.
105
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Hmm? Oh. What?
106
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How'd that get tucked in? Stop!
107
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You're ruining my bra! I don't care.
108
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This shit's expensive. Stop!
109
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Jeremy said we're going six miles into the woods.
110
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Yeah!
111
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Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though.
112
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It's gonna be worth it when you see me twerking
113
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with Mother Nature.
114
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Are you gonna be twerking against a tree or
115
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How does that work? I don't know.
116
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Excuse me!
117
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This is supposed to be a bros trip.
118
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So I need a group meeting. Now! Sean!
119
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Sounds mad. Yeah. I gotta go. Um
120
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Bye.
121
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Hey, did you guys know that people think I've been in rehab?
122
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Yeah. Yeah.
123
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Yeah, it's some bullshit rumor, dude. Forget about it.
124
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Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed with you, JTron.
125
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Chad and my sister broke up yesterday,
126
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so she bailed on Cancun with his family.
127
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That's fine. Oh, what? They broke up?
128
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That sucks. Yeah, she found out he cheated on her
129
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I don't care what happened.
130
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I'm not going camping with my ex this weekend.
131
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Wait, I thought you guys were never "official."
132
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Yeah, that's one of our many disputes. Thank you, Sean.
133
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Spring break. Indigonanza
134
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is about bros. Bonding. Uhhuh.
135
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Ceremoniously drinking
136
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a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum in 48 hours.
137
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That's the tradition. This is true.
138
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Plus, we only have Sean for one week before he goes back to dipping his balls
139
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in sauerkraut for the rest of the school year.
140
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That's not something we do.
141
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All right. This is shitty for me too, okay?
142
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My girlfriend freaked out when she found out
143
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ladies were coming and I didn't invite her.
144
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:09,025
How many times do I have to tell you? You're being catfished.
145
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Her name is Kendall Jenners.
146
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With an S.
147
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Not real. That's her name, okay?
148
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She's real, all right?
149
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We're gonna meet this summer at theater camp and we're gonna have sex.
150
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Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean.
151
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This weekend might actually be your chance to bang my sister.
152
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Whoa, whoa! What the fuck?
153
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She's my twin sister, okay? We have this special connection thing.
154
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If she's having sex, it's like if I'm having sex.
155
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Dude, that's gro Don't say that! Now Why not?
156
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Why would you not want me to feel sex? Sex is great.
157
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It's your fucking twin.
158
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Don't be disgust
159
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Jesus Christ! Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush.
160
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It's gonna be like this the whole fucking time.
161
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Scared me.
162
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Here we go.
163
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Bye! Bye, Mrs. Abelar.
164
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Bye! Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar.
165
00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,871
Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man.
166
00:08:03,955 --> 00:08:07,834
We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time. Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom.
167
00:08:08,584 --> 00:08:11,712
I just don't think any Abelar woman should be disrespected…
168
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like that.
169
00:08:14,549 --> 00:08:15,633
Yeah.
170
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Ah, they're good kids.
171
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They're nightmares. I know, hon. Let's go.
172
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They're my suicidal nightmares. I know, I know.
173
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" to do what I want"
174
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Uh " So free "
175
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" I'm free " Uh, thanks, man.
176
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Hey, um, I'm really sorry about Chad.
177
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Thanks.
178
00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:55,173
So, do you guys keep in touch at all? Or
179
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Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago.
180
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So
181
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I'll keep you posted.
182
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" To show the love you lack"
183
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" Even if nobody loves you back "
184
00:09:14,317 --> 00:09:15,943
Hey!
185
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,155
Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance?
186
00:09:19,238 --> 00:09:20,281
Oh, wow, really?
187
00:09:20,364 --> 00:09:22,617
You know what, Sarah? I'm gonna have to think about it,
188
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:23,743
but thank you for asking.
189
00:09:23,826 --> 00:09:26,245
Actually, I just wanted to warn whoever you end up going with
190
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that you shart during blow jobs.
191
00:09:27,747 --> 00:09:29,707
That happened one time! Happened two times.
192
00:09:30,082 --> 00:09:31,918
You said you'd never
193
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:34,462
Dog, you sharted midbeej? " Got me ready Why are you taking long? "
194
00:09:42,094 --> 00:09:44,805
All right. Stay in the van. Be cool. I got this.
195
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Hoorah!
196
00:09:47,099 --> 00:09:49,852
" Now do it, do it, do it, do it "
197
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What's up?
198
00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:57,193
You got ID?
199
00:09:58,402 --> 00:09:59,654
Blammo!
200
00:10:03,032 --> 00:10:04,575
Hmm Ranger, huh?
201
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:07,119
$47.65.
202
00:10:08,579 --> 00:10:10,414
Military discount.
203
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:14,293
Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt. No! Not on my Ah! Not on my butt!
204
00:10:14,377 --> 00:10:15,795
Know what? Just keep the change.
205
00:10:15,878 --> 00:10:19,006
You have a great day. No receipt. Heh.
206
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:27,765
" Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Dougou badia dela "
207
00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:36,816
" Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Mogo gnana djé dela "
208
00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:41,487
That's not funny, man.
209
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:45,157
Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there.
210
00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:49,203
All right, guys. Let's get these Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot.
211
00:10:49,287 --> 00:10:51,956
" While they laugh and shake their head Still we coming in "
212
00:10:52,039 --> 00:10:55,668
" Now, love, you lead the way We go, go, go "
213
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" We go, go, go "
214
00:10:58,671 --> 00:10:59,505
Ow.
215
00:10:59,589 --> 00:11:01,424
" Still we coming in " Here.
216
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:04,343
" We go, go, go "
217
00:11:04,427 --> 00:11:06,137
" We go, go, go "
218
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,348
" Yeah "
219
00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:13,561
" Yeah "
220
00:11:13,644 --> 00:11:16,772
" Let it play, let it play Let’s make it a holiday "
221
00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:17,940
" Yeah "
222
00:11:18,024 --> 00:11:20,985
" Every day, every day A party every way "
223
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:22,194
" Yeah "
224
00:11:22,278 --> 00:11:24,030
Jeremy, where are you taking us?
225
00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:28,451
We're going deep into Mother Nature's puss
226
00:11:29,201 --> 00:11:31,579
all the way up past the ovaries.
227
00:11:32,038 --> 00:11:34,040
Whoo!
228
00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:41,964
Kendall gets so wet for this shit.
229
00:11:42,506 --> 00:11:44,675
I'm sure that he does.
230
00:12:07,031 --> 00:12:08,115
Oh, this is it, dogs.
231
00:12:09,283 --> 00:12:10,284
This is base camp.
232
00:12:10,368 --> 00:12:13,120
Fucking finally! Jesus Christ.
233
00:12:15,414 --> 00:12:16,707
Oh, here we go.
234
00:12:17,541 --> 00:12:19,919
Here we go. Oh, what the fuck?
235
00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:29,345
Fuck Chad, right?
236
00:12:29,428 --> 00:12:31,722
Uh, yeah.
237
00:12:31,806 --> 00:12:34,016
High school relationships are bullshit, anyway.
238
00:12:34,308 --> 00:12:36,435
I just feel really embarrassed.
239
00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:37,728
Yeah.
240
00:12:38,729 --> 00:12:40,564
But what if you tried to just
241
00:12:40,648 --> 00:12:44,110
you know, do something to take your mind off of it a little bit?
242
00:12:47,321 --> 00:12:48,656
You could hook up with Sean.
243
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:53,953
Come on, it might be fun just to hook up with someone that's nice for a change.
244
00:12:54,036 --> 00:12:58,124
Plus, you've always kind of liked him, and he got kind of hot in Germany.
245
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,044
I wouldn't say "hot."
246
00:13:02,795 --> 00:13:05,464
I feel like he finished going through puberty.
247
00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:11,387
You're blowing it with Becky. Man, they just broke up.
248
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:14,223
This is the Rent cast party all over again.
249
00:13:14,306 --> 00:13:16,892
This is not like the Rent cast party. Okay? It's not like that.
250
00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:18,853
Remember what happened at the Rent cast party?
251
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:21,605
You sat on the couch sipping your Mike's Hard.
252
00:13:21,689 --> 00:13:23,315
Her hand on your thigh.
253
00:13:23,399 --> 00:13:25,359
You were on the couch and you squeezed his thigh.
254
00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:27,653
Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke on the roof.
255
00:13:27,737 --> 00:13:29,530
Wait, yeah, what did he say again?
256
00:13:29,613 --> 00:13:32,199
I told her that I passed on grass.
257
00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:36,370
Which doesn't make any sense because we smoke literally all the time.
258
00:13:36,454 --> 00:13:37,955
They literally smoke all the time.
259
00:13:38,038 --> 00:13:39,582
And you sat there watching as she left.
260
00:13:40,124 --> 00:13:41,125
I just got up and left.
261
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:43,878
I told you that I couldn't stand up because
262
00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:46,839
Maybe he just had a boner. I had a boner.
263
00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:48,007
Oh, ew.
264
00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:50,092
Who gets a boner from someone touching their thigh?
265
00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:52,845
You're being cock blocked, literally, by your own cock.
266
00:13:52,928 --> 00:13:54,472
I don't know, man. I can't control it.
267
00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:56,557
She then goes upstairs, makes out with Chad,
268
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,934
and they've been fucking dating till this moment.
269
00:13:59,018 --> 00:14:00,019
The Rent cast party?
270
00:14:00,102 --> 00:14:02,354
That was your chance to be with Becky, and you blew it.
271
00:14:02,438 --> 00:14:04,482
Yeah, Donnie's right. Thank you. Musical theater's the ultimate aphrodisiac.
272
00:14:06,692 --> 00:14:09,195
That's why me and Kendall are composing an Rrated musical
273
00:14:09,278 --> 00:14:11,155
based on the songs of Britney Spears.
274
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,325
Dude, get this, all right? It's called Blonde to Bald to Back Again.
275
00:14:14,408 --> 00:14:16,869
Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude. I can't wait.
276
00:14:16,952 --> 00:14:18,954
I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right?
277
00:14:19,038 --> 00:14:21,916
When I sang Kendall my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo?
278
00:14:21,999 --> 00:14:25,711
Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit she said she was gonna do to my body.
279
00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:27,213
Oh, dude, I almost forgot.
280
00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:30,174
I got you something, dude. It's for you and Becks.
281
00:14:30,257 --> 00:14:31,801
It glows in the dark and shit.
282
00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:34,553
What? "The Fuck King Condom"?
283
00:14:34,637 --> 00:14:36,680
Yeah. King of fucking, dude.
284
00:14:37,556 --> 00:14:41,018
Or you can go raw, dog. I mean, I'm down to be an uncle.
285
00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:43,437
Stop it with the fucking your sister stuff.
286
00:14:43,521 --> 00:14:46,607
As weird as this fucking guy is, he's right about one thing.
287
00:14:46,774 --> 00:14:48,484
Becky's always had a thing for you.
288
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,152
No, that's 100% conjecture.
289
00:14:50,361 --> 00:14:53,155
I don't know. I'm slowplaying it, okay?
290
00:14:53,239 --> 00:14:55,616
You're noplaying it. Be her rebound, okay?
291
00:14:55,699 --> 00:14:58,536
Take off your practice sweats and crash the fucking boards.
292
00:14:58,619 --> 00:14:59,954
Yeah. Play dirty.
293
00:15:00,037 --> 00:15:03,082
You think I didn't throw a few 'bows to get where I am with Sarah?
294
00:15:03,165 --> 00:15:05,584
What? Where do you think you are with Sarah?
295
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:06,752
You guys hate each other.
296
00:15:07,586 --> 00:15:08,587
Donnie?
297
00:15:11,423 --> 00:15:12,716
Drink up, bitch.
298
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,343
Oh!
299
00:15:14,426 --> 00:15:15,427
Snap. Fuck!
300
00:15:15,511 --> 00:15:16,554
What was that?
301
00:15:16,637 --> 00:15:17,596
Oh!
302
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,265
Why?
303
00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:20,933
Fuck!
304
00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:23,143
Well, nature's great, but it's still spring break.
305
00:15:23,477 --> 00:15:25,187
And I'm ready to rage.
306
00:15:25,604 --> 00:15:26,730
Let the games begin.
307
00:15:26,939 --> 00:15:29,984
Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip that you're intruding on.
308
00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:31,527
Indigonanza's our thing.
309
00:15:31,652 --> 00:15:34,613
So I'm gonna be the one who officially starts everything off.
310
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:35,531
Okay.
311
00:15:35,614 --> 00:15:37,199
Let Indigonanza begin.
312
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:41,287
Okay. Let
313
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:42,955
Let Indigonanza begin. This is my thing.
314
00:15:43,247 --> 00:15:44,957
Guys, it's important to him, so Let Indigonanza
315
00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:48,711
begin.
316
00:15:50,629 --> 00:15:52,673
I liked it better when she said it.
317
00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:56,218
" Turn down for what, turn down for what Turn down for what "
318
00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:58,596
" We don't turn down for what We in VIP, yellin' "
319
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:00,139
" More bottles, more bitches"
320
00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:02,725
" We all VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches "
321
00:16:02,808 --> 00:16:05,019
" We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches "
322
00:16:05,102 --> 00:16:08,230
" We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches"
323
00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,524
" Hey, more bottles of that rosé "
324
00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:12,776
" More redbones that look like Solé"
325
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,321
" Booty fatter than a burrito From ChickfilA"
326
00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:17,990
" I'm trying to take that ass home Like TripleA"
327
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,953
" You better, you better Listen what the core say"
328
00:16:23,037 --> 00:16:25,205
" Turn down for what Turn down for what"
329
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:27,917
" Unless you turning her Face down and ass up"
330
00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:30,586
" More bottles, more bitches"
331
00:16:31,545 --> 00:16:33,547
" More bottles, more bitches"
332
00:16:33,964 --> 00:16:36,050
" More bottles, more bitches"
333
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,594
" More bottles, more bitches "
334
00:16:44,224 --> 00:16:46,936
I mean, look at him.
335
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,938
He's going to town on that trail mix.
336
00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:50,773
Do you still have your bong bear?
337
00:16:50,898 --> 00:16:51,899
Yeah, I do.
338
00:16:52,024 --> 00:16:54,193
Get over there and make a move.
339
00:16:54,652 --> 00:16:56,612
You should fuck my sister.
340
00:16:57,404 --> 00:16:59,865
I'm gonna piss. Thanks for letting me know.
341
00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:01,450
Go get 'em. Okay.
342
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:03,369
Nice ass. Okay. Fine.
343
00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:06,205
Hey!
344
00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:09,208
Quit hogging that trail mix. Okay.
345
00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:14,296
Oh Coming in.
346
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:17,925
Beep, beep, beep. No, that's enough. Thank you.
347
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:25,724
Uh, so did you hear about the the bear thing?
348
00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:27,977
No. Yeah.
349
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:30,145
Here's one right now. Oh!
350
00:17:30,229 --> 00:17:32,022
Whoa! What? What?
351
00:17:32,106 --> 00:17:34,066
It's just a It's a bong bear. The bear bong.
352
00:17:34,149 --> 00:17:36,026
Bear bong!
353
00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:41,865
Hey, if you wanted, we could we could go hot box the tent later.
354
00:17:44,076 --> 00:17:45,452
We could do that.
355
00:17:45,536 --> 00:17:46,787
I'm free now. You're free?
356
00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:49,665
Uh, that's kind of perfect, 'cause I'm free.
357
00:17:49,748 --> 00:17:52,209
Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly.
358
00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:54,003
Uh, let's go now. Okay!
359
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:55,004
Here we go. Cool.
360
00:17:55,087 --> 00:17:56,296
Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
361
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:58,382
Jeremy's talking to himself. We gotta fuck with him.
362
00:17:58,465 --> 00:18:00,342
We gotta go. We gotta go right now. Let's go.
363
00:18:00,551 --> 00:18:02,469
Sorry.
364
00:18:03,012 --> 00:18:03,846
Bye.
365
00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:05,431
This knife is so sharp,
366
00:18:06,181 --> 00:18:07,349
it can cut piss.
367
00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:10,185
Oh, what's that?
368
00:18:10,561 --> 00:18:13,981
Are you pissing on this endangered fern? What the fuck is he doing?
369
00:18:14,064 --> 00:18:17,985
Oh, shit, it's an anthill. I'd better get 'em.
370
00:18:18,068 --> 00:18:18,902
Let's get him.
371
00:18:18,986 --> 00:18:21,155
We approach a wild teen. You're dead!
372
00:18:34,918 --> 00:18:37,588
Oh, shit. I think I cut myself. Did you Did you just
373
00:18:37,671 --> 00:18:39,173
Oh, no!
374
00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:41,425
Why why are you looking down there?
375
00:18:41,508 --> 00:18:43,594
Keep your eyes above No. What are you doing?
376
00:18:43,677 --> 00:18:45,179
That's not okay. That's
377
00:18:54,229 --> 00:18:56,315
Where'd my dick go? Did you see my dick, Sean?
378
00:18:56,398 --> 00:18:57,316
Sean, you didn't it?
379
00:18:57,399 --> 00:19:00,027
What about you, Donnie? Did you see my dick?
380
00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:02,362
What is What is happening?
381
00:19:02,446 --> 00:19:05,324
I just cut off my dick. Jeremy, is this a fucking prank?
382
00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:07,242
Don't be stupid. Come on, show me your dick.
383
00:19:07,326 --> 00:19:08,744
I cut off my dick, Becky!
384
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:13,582
I cut my dick off!
385
00:19:13,749 --> 00:19:15,834
Oh, my God, it's not a prank. Help! Help him!
386
00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:19,338
I don't think it'll be okay.
387
00:19:19,421 --> 00:19:21,006
You'll be fine, man. We'll lay you down.
388
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,758
Come on.
389
00:19:22,841 --> 00:19:24,343
Here we go. Put this under his head.
390
00:19:24,426 --> 00:19:27,638
Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit! That's a lot of blood.
391
00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:30,557
I'm gonna fucking die. Jeremy's gonna die.
392
00:19:30,641 --> 00:19:32,810
We can all stand here and have a meltdown or we can get our shit together and save Jeremy.
393
00:19:35,145 --> 00:19:36,563
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!
394
00:19:36,647 --> 00:19:39,608
We need to call 911, now. Yeah, get our phones.
395
00:19:39,691 --> 00:19:42,611
Kendall theater camp. My phone's in the van.
396
00:19:43,195 --> 00:19:45,697
Don't die. Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you?
397
00:19:45,781 --> 00:19:46,865
I don't. Fuck. Me neither.
398
00:19:46,949 --> 00:19:48,742
I got nothing. Fuck. You don't have service?
399
00:19:48,826 --> 00:19:50,494
Just Oh, give me one second to think.
400
00:19:50,577 --> 00:19:52,955
Okay. I'm going to the top of the ridge. Give me your phones.
401
00:19:53,038 --> 00:19:55,082
Okay. One of them has to have service, right?
402
00:19:55,165 --> 00:19:57,543
What's the passcodes? 3532.
403
00:19:57,626 --> 00:20:00,504
6969, which is pretty ironic now.
404
00:20:00,587 --> 00:20:02,965
Mine's 0047. 0047.
405
00:20:03,423 --> 00:20:04,758
Go. What's your passcode, Donnie?
406
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:06,593
All ones, dude. All ones. Okay.
407
00:20:06,677 --> 00:20:10,764
Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these, we we gotta Fucking
408
00:20:10,848 --> 00:20:12,516
Just go! Get out of here!
409
00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:15,018
Yeah, I'm going! Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy.
410
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:18,897
Someone Someone needs to find the penis.
411
00:20:18,981 --> 00:20:20,357
Get my penis. Okay.
412
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,859
Get my penis. Yeah.
413
00:20:21,942 --> 00:20:23,735
Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen.
414
00:20:23,819 --> 00:20:25,445
I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight.
415
00:20:25,529 --> 00:20:27,739
I'm gonna go with Donnie. Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy.
416
00:20:27,865 --> 00:20:30,534
It's gonna be okay, right? All good? It's gonna be okay. Yeah.
417
00:20:30,617 --> 00:20:32,661
You're gonna get my dick. I'm gonna get my dick back.
418
00:20:32,744 --> 00:20:34,204
Yeah, we're gonna find it.
419
00:20:34,288 --> 00:20:37,749
Just for scale, what am I looking for? Like half this? A a quarter?
420
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:39,960
I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is.
421
00:20:40,043 --> 00:20:42,296
I'm gonna take it as a quarter.
422
00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:44,339
If this doesn't work out, Becky,
423
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,842
I'm gonna be your sister now. Okay.
424
00:20:46,925 --> 00:20:48,635
You already have the hair for it. Yeah.
425
00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:54,474
Hey! That is a cliff.
426
00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:58,020
All right. Okay.
427
00:20:58,103 --> 00:20:59,730
Nope. All right, come on.
428
00:21:00,439 --> 00:21:02,399
Crap. No, come on! Come on!
429
00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:03,942
Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars!
430
00:21:04,026 --> 00:21:06,612
We got bars. Oh, baby mama.
431
00:21:06,695 --> 00:21:09,615
All right. I can hear you now.
432
00:21:10,532 --> 00:21:11,575
Fuck yeah.
433
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,995
911, what's your emergency?
434
00:21:15,245 --> 00:21:16,288
Hello! Hello! Hello!
435
00:21:16,997 --> 00:21:20,334
911. I have a medical emergency. I need a medevac pronto.
436
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:24,713
My friend has lost his penis. He cut it off. I think it was an accident.
437
00:21:24,796 --> 00:21:25,631
Okay.
438
00:21:27,341 --> 00:21:30,177
Okay. Come on. Okay.
439
00:21:30,260 --> 00:21:32,262
Fuck.
440
00:21:32,387 --> 00:21:33,222
Shit!
441
00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:39,853
If I was a dick, where would I be? You are a dick. That shouldn't be hard.
442
00:21:39,937 --> 00:21:41,021
Oh, my God.
443
00:21:41,104 --> 00:21:42,064
What? Found it!
444
00:21:42,147 --> 00:21:43,148
Where?
445
00:21:43,857 --> 00:21:44,691
Oh.
446
00:21:45,484 --> 00:21:46,526
It's a pine cone.
447
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:47,819
It's gotta be here somewhere.
448
00:21:47,903 --> 00:21:49,947
I mean, how fucking far could this dick fly?
449
00:21:50,405 --> 00:21:52,532
It could be anywhere within a thousandfoot radius.
450
00:21:52,616 --> 00:21:55,452
Okay, sir, I'm triangulating your current location.
451
00:21:55,535 --> 00:21:57,120
Uh
452
00:21:57,454 --> 00:22:00,499
"Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot. Where are you?"
453
00:22:00,999 --> 00:22:03,835
"I bailed on Cancun. Are you at your house?"
454
00:22:03,919 --> 00:22:06,046
Oh, come on. We're sending a medevac helicopter.
455
00:22:06,129 --> 00:22:07,297
Okay, yes. Thank you.
456
00:22:08,298 --> 00:22:11,385
"I want to make this work. I miss you. You're the shit."
457
00:22:15,013 --> 00:22:16,390
Crash the boards, Sean.
458
00:22:18,308 --> 00:22:20,560
Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you.
459
00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,480
You're a
460
00:22:27,484 --> 00:22:28,402
dirty taint.
461
00:22:28,986 --> 00:22:29,987
Fuck, yeah.
462
00:22:32,239 --> 00:22:33,407
Shit.
463
00:22:33,490 --> 00:22:34,366
Send.
464
00:22:37,869 --> 00:22:38,829
Fucking send.
465
00:22:40,038 --> 00:22:42,124
Send it. Come on. Did you get a signal?
466
00:22:44,668 --> 00:22:46,962
Oh! Sean?
467
00:22:48,588 --> 00:22:50,215
Please tell me that wasn't all the phones.
468
00:22:50,299 --> 00:22:51,174
No, no.
469
00:22:52,426 --> 00:22:55,137
I mean, yes, it was It was.
470
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,681
all the phones. But, hey, hey, I called 911.
471
00:22:57,764 --> 00:23:00,309
I talked to them. They're gonna send a medevac in 30 minutes.
472
00:23:00,809 --> 00:23:01,935
So So that's good! Okay.
473
00:23:02,019 --> 00:23:03,353
Yeah! Let's go. Let's go.
474
00:23:03,437 --> 00:23:04,646
That's All right.
475
00:23:06,189 --> 00:23:08,900
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa!
476
00:23:08,984 --> 00:23:10,360
It's a fucking mushroom, dude.
477
00:23:10,694 --> 00:23:13,447
Everything looks like a dick at night! What is that?
478
00:23:13,989 --> 00:23:14,823
Hmm?
479
00:23:14,906 --> 00:23:17,409
Is that a piece of coyote scat? Are there coyotes here?
480
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:20,078
That's not shit.
481
00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:22,414
What do you mean?
482
00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:24,124
That's Jeremy's dick.
483
00:23:24,207 --> 00:23:25,125
Oh, my God.
484
00:23:31,548 --> 00:23:32,549
Damn it.
485
00:23:32,966 --> 00:23:35,344
I'm gonna get some sticks to pick that up with.
486
00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:38,972
The medevac's on its way.
487
00:23:39,056 --> 00:23:40,057
We got the dick!
488
00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:41,641
Yes. And Sarah puked on it.
489
00:23:41,725 --> 00:23:43,310
Donnie! Sean lost the phones.
490
00:23:43,393 --> 00:23:44,269
What?
491
00:23:44,353 --> 00:23:46,480
First my dick, and now my 7, Sean!
492
00:23:48,065 --> 00:23:49,358
Is my peepee okay?
493
00:23:49,441 --> 00:23:51,651
Okay. We gotta keep this warm. Okay.
494
00:23:52,861 --> 00:23:54,363
Where is it? I wanna see it. Where
495
00:23:54,446 --> 00:23:55,864
Warm it up, baby. Come on.
496
00:23:56,156 --> 00:23:57,657
Whoa! What are you doing?
497
00:23:57,741 --> 00:24:00,202
I'm keeping the capillaries open. Stop yelling at me.
498
00:24:00,285 --> 00:24:01,495
You gotta put that on ice!
499
00:24:01,578 --> 00:24:03,705
I don't know. They don't teach you this in health class.
500
00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:05,791
My dick is on a stick! Gotta put it on some ice. Ice, ice!
501
00:24:11,088 --> 00:24:12,047
Ew!
502
00:24:30,649 --> 00:24:32,651
Do you think the helicopter is gonna find us?
503
00:24:35,404 --> 00:24:36,363
I hope so.
504
00:24:37,155 --> 00:24:38,698
Yeah, I do. Yeah.
505
00:24:40,826 --> 00:24:43,912
" I think I did it again "
506
00:24:45,205 --> 00:24:47,791
" I made you believe"
507
00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:51,628
" We're more than just friends"
508
00:24:52,254 --> 00:24:53,547
Is this normal?
509
00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:57,008
It's from his Britney Spears musical he's writing with his fake girlfriend.
510
00:24:58,135 --> 00:25:01,263
" Oh, baby, it might"
511
00:25:01,555 --> 00:25:05,058
" seem like a crush"
512
00:25:06,143 --> 00:25:08,437
" But it doesn't mean"
513
00:25:09,563 --> 00:25:13,316
" That I'm serious"
514
00:25:14,276 --> 00:25:20,824
" 'Cause to lose all my senses "
515
00:25:20,991 --> 00:25:25,912
" That is just so typically me"
516
00:25:26,746 --> 00:25:28,832
" Oh, baby, baby"
517
00:25:28,915 --> 00:25:32,461
" Oops, I did it again "
518
00:25:33,295 --> 00:25:36,089
" I played with your heart"
519
00:25:36,590 --> 00:25:39,593
" Got lost in the game"
520
00:25:39,676 --> 00:25:41,636
" Oh, baby, baby"
521
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,682
" Oops, you think I'm in love"
522
00:25:46,558 --> 00:25:49,686
" That I'm sent from above"
523
00:25:49,769 --> 00:25:51,938
Hey! Look at this! " I'm not "
524
00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:54,983
Yes! Yay! " That innocent"
525
00:25:55,066 --> 00:25:57,861
Over here! Come on! Hey!
526
00:25:57,986 --> 00:25:59,362
Wait. Where are you going? Hey!
527
00:25:59,446 --> 00:26:01,406
Oh, my God. It didn't see us. It didn't see us.
528
00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:02,449
Okay.
529
00:26:02,824 --> 00:26:05,535
This. This'll get their attention. What are you doing?
530
00:26:05,619 --> 00:26:07,078
Fuck this! Everybody run.
531
00:26:07,162 --> 00:26:08,955
What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What? Yo! Yo!
532
00:26:10,916 --> 00:26:13,001
Get your head down, Jeremy.
533
00:26:13,084 --> 00:26:14,836
Fuck you, Donnie!
534
00:26:15,212 --> 00:26:17,422
Oh Okay.
535
00:26:18,131 --> 00:26:18,965
Guys?
536
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:21,676
What the fuck? Guys!
537
00:26:23,178 --> 00:26:24,095
Seriously?
538
00:26:24,846 --> 00:26:27,933
Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed. This is some of your best work.
539
00:26:41,321 --> 00:26:42,656
Becky! Becky!
540
00:26:43,782 --> 00:26:46,952
What the fuck! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
541
00:26:47,327 --> 00:26:49,412
Damn, that was dope.
542
00:26:49,496 --> 00:26:50,664
You okay? No.
543
00:26:50,747 --> 00:26:52,082
Holy shit. That was crazy.
544
00:26:52,165 --> 00:26:55,043
Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here!
545
00:26:55,126 --> 00:26:58,505
Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go. Let's go, Jeremy.
546
00:26:58,588 --> 00:27:01,007
Oh, hey!
547
00:27:01,341 --> 00:27:02,717
Hey, guys. Come on!
548
00:27:06,471 --> 00:27:08,306
Hey, look! Hey! Hey!
549
00:27:08,390 --> 00:27:09,349
Hey! Hi.
550
00:27:09,724 --> 00:27:11,643
Hey!
551
00:27:13,812 --> 00:27:17,148
We'll get him to East General Hospital, ASAP.
552
00:27:17,232 --> 00:27:20,944
As long as it's within twelve hours, a severed member can still be reattached.
553
00:27:21,027 --> 00:27:22,195
Yes! Okay, thank you.
554
00:27:22,279 --> 00:27:23,989
Your friends did a good job. You're gonna be okay.
555
00:27:24,072 --> 00:27:24,906
Thank you!
556
00:27:24,990 --> 00:27:27,492
Whose idea was it to set off the fireball?
557
00:27:27,576 --> 00:27:28,785
That was all me, dude.
558
00:27:28,868 --> 00:27:30,203
You're a fucking idiot!
559
00:27:30,287 --> 00:27:32,539
We saw you guys on our initial approach.
560
00:27:32,622 --> 00:27:35,917
Hike down to your car and you can meet him at the hospital.
561
00:27:36,459 --> 00:27:38,587
Okay. Okay, okay. Hey.
562
00:27:38,670 --> 00:27:42,340
You're gonna be okay. Yeah. We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay?
563
00:27:42,424 --> 00:27:45,260
Becky, you need to shut the fuck up. You're wasting time. We gotta go.
564
00:27:45,343 --> 00:27:46,386
Okay, yeah! Yeah!
565
00:27:46,469 --> 00:27:48,346
He's not gonna die! He's gonna be fine.
566
00:27:49,431 --> 00:27:52,267
Stay strong, Jeremy!
567
00:27:52,350 --> 00:27:53,727
Bye, Jeremy.
568
00:27:57,188 --> 00:27:59,399
Look. He's reverseTerminatoring.
569
00:27:59,482 --> 00:28:00,650
That's epic.
570
00:28:03,612 --> 00:28:05,822
Okay. He's gonna be okay.
571
00:28:05,905 --> 00:28:08,325
Oh, my God. Thank God.
572
00:28:12,162 --> 00:28:14,539
He's good. He's good.
573
00:28:20,128 --> 00:28:21,296
Whoo!
574
00:28:43,193 --> 00:28:46,404
He really lost a lot of blood. Yeah, man, I'm covered.
575
00:28:46,488 --> 00:28:49,783
Can I propose a little toast to the first responders?
576
00:28:49,949 --> 00:28:51,701
Yes. May the heroes that
577
00:28:53,953 --> 00:28:55,955
Guys? What?
578
00:28:56,122 --> 00:28:58,041
What? Guys!
579
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,251
What? Ah!
580
00:29:01,211 --> 00:29:04,172
What is it? What?
581
00:29:08,635 --> 00:29:09,511
Sean?
582
00:29:09,886 --> 00:29:12,138
You gave the EMT the wrong cooler?
583
00:29:12,764 --> 00:29:15,308
No! No, no. No way.
584
00:29:15,392 --> 00:29:17,894
Wait. Wait, we have the dick! Donnie, no!
585
00:29:17,977 --> 00:29:19,771
Wait! Come back! Oh!
586
00:29:19,854 --> 00:29:22,941
Oh, shit! The ice
587
00:29:33,493 --> 00:29:34,828
We have my brother's dick.
588
00:29:35,286 --> 00:29:37,664
With no ice and no phones.
589
00:29:38,123 --> 00:29:41,251
We have 12 hours, right? Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's,
590
00:29:41,334 --> 00:29:42,252
you know, on ice.
591
00:29:42,877 --> 00:29:44,671
Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They they
592
00:29:44,754 --> 00:29:45,964
They also told us to hike down.
593
00:29:46,047 --> 00:29:47,674
They probably don't think we're here anymore.
594
00:29:47,757 --> 00:29:50,093
Shit. Look, I'm willing to wait and see.
595
00:29:50,176 --> 00:29:52,303
But by that time, Jeremy's dick is gonna be rotten
596
00:29:52,387 --> 00:29:53,346
and have flies on it
597
00:29:53,430 --> 00:29:55,765
No, no, no, no, we can't freak out. Don't freak out.
598
00:29:56,182 --> 00:29:57,100
We'll hike down.
599
00:29:57,475 --> 00:30:01,396
We'll We'll find someone with ice or a phone along the way.
600
00:30:01,646 --> 00:30:02,897
And worst case,
601
00:30:03,231 --> 00:30:06,693
we'll be back in the parking lot in, like, six or seven hours.
602
00:30:07,610 --> 00:30:08,695
This is gonna work.
603
00:30:11,281 --> 00:30:13,116
Yeah, okay, Becky's right. Let's do this.
604
00:30:13,199 --> 00:30:14,951
This is gonna work. That's a good plan.
605
00:30:16,661 --> 00:30:19,164
Okay, let's leave our shit. We'll move faster.
606
00:30:19,247 --> 00:30:21,207
Okay. It's gonna be a long way. Okay, let's go.
607
00:30:21,624 --> 00:30:22,459
Okay.
608
00:30:25,378 --> 00:30:29,257
Hey, stay with us. Don't head for the light!
609
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:30,467
Hang in there, buddy.
610
00:30:30,550 --> 00:30:33,136
We got a male. Severed penis. Cut clean to the base.
611
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,221
Oh, shit. What?
612
00:30:35,305 --> 00:30:38,057
There's no penis. It's just two cans of Flittson.
613
00:30:38,141 --> 00:30:39,225
My dick isn't in there?
614
00:30:39,809 --> 00:30:42,645
Just cans. There's literally no penis. It's just two cans of beer.
615
00:30:42,937 --> 00:30:47,108
You guys, where's my dick?
616
00:30:51,988 --> 00:30:53,656
I don't think this is a good plan.
617
00:30:53,740 --> 00:30:56,993
I told Becky it was. We've been hiking for over an hour, and there's no one.
618
00:30:57,076 --> 00:31:00,622
Of course it's not a good plan. There are no good plans in this situation.
619
00:31:00,705 --> 00:31:02,165
Look, um
620
00:31:02,290 --> 00:31:03,374
Dude. What?
621
00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:05,502
Uh, he texted her. Who texted her?
622
00:31:05,752 --> 00:31:06,961
Chad. What?
623
00:31:07,086 --> 00:31:08,963
When I was calling 911 from Becky's phone,
624
00:31:09,047 --> 00:31:10,381
Chad texted,
625
00:31:10,465 --> 00:31:11,758
and said he wants to get back together.
626
00:31:11,841 --> 00:31:14,052
Rent cast party, man. Yeah, I, um
627
00:31:15,053 --> 00:31:16,513
Oh, man, I think I fucked up.
628
00:31:16,596 --> 00:31:19,182
I, like, I think I texted him back as her.
629
00:31:20,016 --> 00:31:22,185
Whoa. That is epic. What did you say?
630
00:31:22,268 --> 00:31:25,146
I said, "Fuck you," and then I called him a dirty taint.
631
00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:26,648
Guys! Guys?
632
00:31:27,148 --> 00:31:29,025
We're gonna stop and pee really quick.
633
00:31:29,108 --> 00:31:31,778
Ginger Pablo Escobar, please keep your eyes downhill.
634
00:31:31,861 --> 00:31:33,905
Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes.
635
00:31:34,572 --> 00:31:35,657
People are noticing.
636
00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:37,617
It still looks like you blew Chester Cheetah.
637
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,202
Oh, shit! What?
638
00:31:39,536 --> 00:31:41,329
Is Donnie coming to perv on me? No.
639
00:31:41,412 --> 00:31:42,664
Hey, Sean!
640
00:31:42,997 --> 00:31:46,000
Sean, there's a ranger lookout station. They might have ice.
641
00:31:46,501 --> 00:31:47,836
Hey, that's good.
642
00:31:47,919 --> 00:31:49,337
That's awesome. Let's go.
643
00:31:49,420 --> 00:31:51,840
" I'm gonna win for you " Sorry.
644
00:31:51,923 --> 00:31:55,051
" Like I know you want me to do " Over there. Come on.
645
00:31:55,134 --> 00:31:56,553
" Hey! " Let's go!
646
00:31:57,136 --> 00:31:58,221
Let's go!
647
00:31:59,764 --> 00:32:00,640
Hello?
648
00:32:01,015 --> 00:32:03,226
Hello, anybody? Hello?
649
00:32:04,185 --> 00:32:05,645
Hello? Hello?
650
00:32:06,145 --> 00:32:08,523
We need some help! It's an emergency!
651
00:32:08,606 --> 00:32:09,774
Excuse me? Hello?
652
00:32:09,858 --> 00:32:11,150
Hello?
653
00:32:11,234 --> 00:32:12,277
Is anybody home?
654
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,237
Seems like we have to break into this bitch.
655
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,738
What? We're not doing that.
656
00:32:15,822 --> 00:32:17,490
I don't know. This is government property.
657
00:32:17,574 --> 00:32:18,783
I feel like it would be
658
00:32:18,867 --> 00:32:20,034
a bad idea.
659
00:32:20,952 --> 00:32:21,995
Damn.
660
00:32:22,996 --> 00:32:24,914
But, yeah, you know, this is a timesensitive case
661
00:32:24,998 --> 00:32:26,749
so it's a good call. It's a good call.
662
00:32:33,673 --> 00:32:35,300
Mm, it's empty.
663
00:32:35,383 --> 00:32:36,509
Great.
664
00:32:39,929 --> 00:32:42,181
Please have ice. Please have ice.
665
00:32:42,307 --> 00:32:44,350
Oh, dude. No, close that.
666
00:32:46,769 --> 00:32:49,355
Well maybe there's still a phone or radio or something, right?
667
00:32:49,439 --> 00:32:50,732
Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
668
00:32:56,279 --> 00:32:58,823
Oh, my God!
669
00:32:58,907 --> 00:33:00,450
Oh, my God!
670
00:33:05,204 --> 00:33:06,748
Oh! No, no, no.
671
00:33:07,248 --> 00:33:08,833
I think the rattlesnake bit the dick.
672
00:33:08,917 --> 00:33:10,960
Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick?
673
00:33:11,044 --> 00:33:12,795
We have to get the venom out somehow.
674
00:33:12,879 --> 00:33:14,756
Yeah. How do we do that? We have to get it out.
675
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:17,425
Maybe if we shake it a lot, the venom will pour out.
676
00:33:17,592 --> 00:33:18,801
No, we have to, uh
677
00:33:21,763 --> 00:33:23,473
Someone has to suck it out.
678
00:33:27,060 --> 00:33:31,022
It seems only fair that the person who's had that dick in their mouth do it.
679
00:33:33,524 --> 00:33:35,485
Donnie, what the fuck are you talking about?
680
00:33:36,277 --> 00:33:39,113
I'm obviously referring to Becky. What?
681
00:33:39,197 --> 00:33:43,034
You guys shared a womb together, so obviously at some point in the dark
682
00:33:43,159 --> 00:33:45,411
that dick went in your mouth. This idiot.
683
00:33:45,912 --> 00:33:47,789
Are you fucking kidding me? Fumbling around.
684
00:33:47,872 --> 00:33:51,501
Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis when I was in the womb.
685
00:33:51,584 --> 00:33:52,961
I am his sister.
686
00:33:53,044 --> 00:33:55,004
I am obviously the last person to suck the dick.
687
00:33:55,088 --> 00:33:57,674
You're sucking before I do. I'm sucking
688
00:33:57,757 --> 00:33:59,759
I am not sucking my brother's dick. End of story.
689
00:33:59,842 --> 00:34:02,261
The women should suck the dick. We don't even know how.
690
00:34:02,345 --> 00:34:06,057
It's not even the same kind of sucking, you stupid idiot.
691
00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:09,686
I am not going to do it! You should. This is your fault.
692
00:34:09,769 --> 00:34:11,813
Yeah, you should. I'll do it.
693
00:34:12,188 --> 00:34:16,401
I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it! I will suck the dick.
694
00:34:18,653 --> 00:34:19,654
I lost the phones.
695
00:34:20,405 --> 00:34:21,948
I gave them the wrong cooler.
696
00:34:24,033 --> 00:34:25,118
I'll suck the penis.
697
00:34:26,661 --> 00:34:28,705
It's really cool of you. Thanks. Yeah.
698
00:34:29,038 --> 00:34:29,914
Just, uh
699
00:34:31,374 --> 00:34:32,709
I'd like to do it
700
00:34:33,876 --> 00:34:34,877
alone.
701
00:34:35,461 --> 00:34:36,504
Yeah, you got it.
702
00:34:36,587 --> 00:34:38,297
I'll tell your story. Okay.
703
00:34:38,923 --> 00:34:39,882
You're a hero.
704
00:34:39,966 --> 00:34:40,842
Yup.
705
00:34:48,016 --> 00:34:48,933
You da man.
706
00:35:19,005 --> 00:35:19,839
Thanks.
707
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,929
Man, we came all the way up here for nothing.
708
00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:31,517
I really fucked this up. I'm sorry.
709
00:35:31,934 --> 00:35:34,854
What now? We're just gonna run down this mountain and pray that JTron's D
710
00:35:34,937 --> 00:35:36,439
doesn't fester before the car?
711
00:35:37,607 --> 00:35:39,734
We've only been hiking for three hours.
712
00:35:40,610 --> 00:35:42,445
That means we still have nine hours.
713
00:35:42,528 --> 00:35:45,865
That was before it got bit by a snake.
714
00:35:47,784 --> 00:35:48,618
You guys hear that?
715
00:35:50,745 --> 00:35:51,996
Dude, look!
716
00:35:52,914 --> 00:35:53,790
A drone?
717
00:35:54,665 --> 00:35:56,084
Wait a minute. Wait.
718
00:35:56,501 --> 00:35:57,335
If there's a drone,
719
00:35:57,418 --> 00:36:00,379
that means there's a person, and they probably have a phone.
720
00:36:01,172 --> 00:36:03,633
We should We should follow it. Let's go get Sean.
721
00:36:04,092 --> 00:36:06,677
Sean! Sean, there's a drone Oh!
722
00:36:08,054 --> 00:36:10,473
Don't look at me! Sorry. Sorry.
723
00:36:10,556 --> 00:36:14,352
Uh, it's just There's a drone, so there's people, and we need to go now.
724
00:36:14,435 --> 00:36:16,354
Oh, my God. That's great. Okay. Um
725
00:36:16,437 --> 00:36:20,233
Just Stop looking. One second. I gotta
726
00:36:20,316 --> 00:36:22,110
I'm getting a lot of venom out of this thing.
727
00:36:27,365 --> 00:36:28,199
Hey!
728
00:36:31,828 --> 00:36:32,995
Come here!
729
00:36:34,163 --> 00:36:35,123
There. Get it.
730
00:36:35,915 --> 00:36:36,791
Stop!
731
00:36:40,503 --> 00:36:42,797
Where'd it go? Does anybody see it?
732
00:36:45,216 --> 00:36:46,551
Oh! There it goes.
733
00:36:47,009 --> 00:36:47,969
I got this shit.
734
00:37:24,255 --> 00:37:25,965
Sarah! Oh, shit!
735
00:37:26,048 --> 00:37:26,883
Fuck!
736
00:37:26,966 --> 00:37:29,802
Oh, my God! Oh! Fuck!
737
00:37:30,094 --> 00:37:31,762
I got it!
738
00:37:32,471 --> 00:37:34,974
Are you okay? Yeah, totally!
739
00:37:35,683 --> 00:37:38,352
There are people there. They have a boat. Nice!
740
00:37:38,561 --> 00:37:39,687
Watch this.
741
00:37:41,230 --> 00:37:43,191
Let's get wet!
742
00:37:43,274 --> 00:37:44,942
Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
743
00:37:47,028 --> 00:37:49,697
Holy fuck. Whoo!
744
00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:50,698
Yeah!
745
00:37:51,157 --> 00:37:52,742
That was pretty cool. Yeah.
746
00:37:53,284 --> 00:37:54,952
Yeah. It looks easy. He made it look easy!
747
00:37:55,036 --> 00:37:57,330
Yeah. Do do you wanna go next? Yeah!
748
00:37:57,663 --> 00:37:58,789
Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go.
749
00:37:58,873 --> 00:38:02,210
Hey, I get the feeling that you maybe don't wanna jump.
750
00:38:02,293 --> 00:38:05,504
So, uh, we can try to find a way to hike down.
751
00:38:05,588 --> 00:38:08,132
No, I wanna I want to go. Okay.
752
00:38:08,216 --> 00:38:09,759
Es geht um die Wurst, ja?
753
00:38:09,842 --> 00:38:11,928
Which means "it's do or die" in German.
754
00:38:12,011 --> 00:38:13,846
Actually, the literal German translation is,
755
00:38:13,930 --> 00:38:15,848
"it's all about sausage," which is funny
756
00:38:15,932 --> 00:38:18,184
Are you making a dick joke right now? We, like, gotta go.
757
00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:19,852
Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it.
758
00:38:19,936 --> 00:38:20,978
Let's do it. All right.
759
00:38:21,062 --> 00:38:24,232
I'm not gonna take the long way, I'm gonna take the Sean way, huh?
760
00:38:24,315 --> 00:38:26,025
Oh, shit! Oh, my God!
761
00:38:26,108 --> 00:38:28,277
Fuck! Oh, fuck. Oh!
762
00:38:34,659 --> 00:38:35,701
Yeah!
763
00:38:36,244 --> 00:38:39,205
I'm good! I'm good! Whoo!
764
00:38:41,457 --> 00:38:44,377
So, the "Sean way" is going for
765
00:38:44,543 --> 00:38:46,963
the maximum amount of pain you can inflict on your body?
766
00:38:47,046 --> 00:38:48,881
No, no. Honestly, it didn't hurt that much.
767
00:38:48,965 --> 00:38:52,385
It was actually really fun. I actually It was a fun ride.
768
00:38:52,468 --> 00:38:53,928
Ooh. Oh, my God.
769
00:38:55,554 --> 00:38:57,974
Dude, uh, your back is like
770
00:38:58,766 --> 00:38:59,600
red raw.
771
00:39:03,521 --> 00:39:05,523
Oh my Oh, my God.
772
00:39:05,648 --> 00:39:07,566
Oh, fuck me.
773
00:39:07,650 --> 00:39:08,693
You guys, look.
774
00:39:09,318 --> 00:39:10,278
Huh?
775
00:39:11,529 --> 00:39:14,615
Oh! That's so dumb.
776
00:39:14,699 --> 00:39:18,160
They fucking came back. And we're not there. That's awesome.
777
00:39:18,244 --> 00:39:21,205
Ow!
778
00:39:21,330 --> 00:39:24,750
Damn it! All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad.
779
00:39:24,834 --> 00:39:26,669
No, the wind blew against my back.
780
00:39:27,003 --> 00:39:28,337
It's okay. I'm fine.
781
00:39:30,298 --> 00:39:31,132
What?
782
00:39:31,841 --> 00:39:34,844
You guys, come on. Let's Let's just keep going.
783
00:39:40,182 --> 00:39:43,060
The helicopter went back to the campsite. Yes.
784
00:39:43,144 --> 00:39:45,146
But your friends weren't there. No.
785
00:39:45,604 --> 00:39:49,525
So, the doctor's gonna need to operate before this gets infected.
786
00:39:49,608 --> 00:39:51,193
Okay. No, my friends,
787
00:39:51,277 --> 00:39:53,654
they'll they'll get me my penis back. I know they will.
788
00:39:53,738 --> 00:39:57,992
Okay, I know they will, too. If they don't, though, you'll be fine.
789
00:39:58,409 --> 00:40:02,455
We can do a full penal reconstruction using a graft from your forearm or glute.
790
00:40:02,663 --> 00:40:04,040
The results are fantastic.
791
00:40:04,582 --> 00:40:06,125
Really? Absolutely.
792
00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:08,210
In addition to increased selfesteem,
793
00:40:08,294 --> 00:40:10,588
most patients report successful ejaculation
794
00:40:10,671 --> 00:40:12,256
in ten percent of sexual encounters.
795
00:40:12,340 --> 00:40:15,176
On a pleasure scale, we're hitting mid to highthrees.
796
00:40:15,426 --> 00:40:16,469
Is that good?
797
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:18,220
Those numbers sound bad.
798
00:40:18,679 --> 00:40:21,140
Well, in comparison with not having a penis,
799
00:40:21,223 --> 00:40:22,725
I think those numbers sound great.
800
00:40:22,808 --> 00:40:25,061
Okay. I will wait for my dick.
801
00:40:25,728 --> 00:40:28,981
I have a strong dick. I know it'll last days out in the wild.
802
00:40:29,065 --> 00:40:29,899
No.
803
00:40:29,982 --> 00:40:32,777
Everyone thinks their penis is special. It's not.
804
00:40:32,860 --> 00:40:37,114
Okay? It's like one of these flowers. Right?
805
00:40:37,656 --> 00:40:41,118
If you remove it from the body, cut off its flow of blood,
806
00:40:41,619 --> 00:40:45,581
and then eventually, if left on its own, it will wilt
807
00:40:46,374 --> 00:40:47,208
and die.
808
00:40:54,298 --> 00:40:55,758
HBO's on Channel 3.
809
00:41:00,554 --> 00:41:02,139
Come on, guys.
810
00:41:03,099 --> 00:41:06,602
I know you're doing whatever it takes to get here as fast as you can.
811
00:41:08,646 --> 00:41:09,730
Hey, Becky!
812
00:41:09,814 --> 00:41:14,276
Hey, don't beat yourself up over the helicopter.
813
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,488
I think you're doing great. I've always thought you were really great.
814
00:41:17,571 --> 00:41:20,741
Uh, are you forgetting the time you totally rejected me?
815
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,994
That never happened. I don't remember that happening.
816
00:41:24,245 --> 00:41:27,206
Come on. Remember the Rent cast party?
817
00:41:27,665 --> 00:41:30,042
Kinda made a move. I might remember.
818
00:41:31,001 --> 00:41:33,462
I had a momentary crush on you.
819
00:41:36,173 --> 00:41:38,384
You had a crush on me? I just thought
820
00:41:38,467 --> 00:41:40,469
Sean, emergency bro discussion.
821
00:41:40,553 --> 00:41:42,304
One sec, man. 911, Sean.
822
00:41:42,388 --> 00:41:44,807
You better go. Sounds very important. Sorry.
823
00:41:44,890 --> 00:41:48,185
Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe what I found in the woods.
824
00:41:48,519 --> 00:41:50,813
Wait till you feast your eyes on these.
825
00:41:52,356 --> 00:41:54,150
What are those? Why do you have those?
826
00:41:54,608 --> 00:41:57,027
When Sarah went behind that big bush to dry off or whatever,
827
00:41:57,111 --> 00:41:58,821
I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee.
828
00:41:58,904 --> 00:42:01,699
Okay, I find those waiting on a rock.
829
00:42:02,241 --> 00:42:03,284
For me.
830
00:42:03,576 --> 00:42:04,952
Knew she came to win me back.
831
00:42:05,035 --> 00:42:09,415
What? Maybe she just didn't want to wear wet underwear, you psychopath.
832
00:42:09,790 --> 00:42:11,542
That's like serial killer behavior.
833
00:42:11,625 --> 00:42:12,793
Okay, these are a sign.
834
00:42:12,877 --> 00:42:15,921
She wants us to be together. And you know what, Sean?
835
00:42:16,005 --> 00:42:17,965
I'll tell you the truth. I'm ready to forgive her.
836
00:42:18,215 --> 00:42:19,341
Forgive her for what?
837
00:42:19,717 --> 00:42:21,677
Over Christmas break, usual spot,
838
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,095
abandoned church my grandma used to take me to.
839
00:42:23,179 --> 00:42:25,473
Before we start hooking up, I throw around I want a DTR.
840
00:42:25,556 --> 00:42:27,975
She freaks out. DTR?
841
00:42:28,058 --> 00:42:29,477
You said you wanted dick to rim?
842
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,354
No. What? I wanted to "define the relationship."
843
00:42:32,438 --> 00:42:34,899
What the fuck is dick to rim? I don't know. Butt stuff.
844
00:42:35,399 --> 00:42:37,067
What has happened to you in Germany?
845
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,238
Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR.
846
00:42:41,447 --> 00:42:43,616
And she's all like, "Relationships are bullshit."
847
00:42:43,699 --> 00:42:45,701
Then I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do.
848
00:42:45,784 --> 00:42:48,412
So I kick her out of a car may or may not have been moving.
849
00:42:48,496 --> 00:42:51,040
Wow, that's really mean. I also told her
850
00:42:51,123 --> 00:42:52,708
um, that I never liked her.
851
00:42:52,917 --> 00:42:55,294
Wow, man. And she was gaining weight.
852
00:42:58,964 --> 00:43:01,175
Sean! This is a power play.
853
00:43:01,467 --> 00:43:02,468
She wants me back.
854
00:43:02,551 --> 00:43:04,553
Come on, Donnie. The camp's around this bend.
855
00:43:06,430 --> 00:43:08,933
Hi! Hello. Hey, bud! Hey, buddy.
856
00:43:09,016 --> 00:43:10,518
Hey, there. Hey, hi.
857
00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:11,977
Oh, my God. Okay.
858
00:43:12,061 --> 00:43:13,521
Whoo! Hey.
859
00:43:14,021 --> 00:43:15,189
I believe this belongs to you.
860
00:43:15,272 --> 00:43:19,151
And I believe you're the bitch that fucked it up!
861
00:43:19,235 --> 00:43:20,361
What now? Whoa.
862
00:43:20,444 --> 00:43:22,530
You better have cash to pay for this.
863
00:43:22,988 --> 00:43:25,199
Okay, uh, where are your parents?
864
00:43:25,282 --> 00:43:27,368
My dad went flyfishing.
865
00:43:27,451 --> 00:43:29,495
What about the boat? Where are the keys?
866
00:43:29,578 --> 00:43:31,997
Because we're in an emergency, and we need some help.
867
00:43:32,122 --> 00:43:36,418
All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys, then I wanna see some stuff.
868
00:43:37,503 --> 00:43:39,630
Okay.
869
00:43:39,713 --> 00:43:42,758
No. Ugh. We are not going to show you our boobs.
870
00:43:42,841 --> 00:43:43,926
Bitch, please!
871
00:43:44,301 --> 00:43:46,220
I'm 11, not five.
872
00:43:46,679 --> 00:43:49,098
I've seen thousands of titties.
873
00:43:49,807 --> 00:43:51,559
I wanna see you two scissor.
874
00:43:52,935 --> 00:43:53,978
Yeah! Oh!
875
00:43:54,061 --> 00:43:56,814
Take that, you little perv. Gross. That is inappropriate.
876
00:43:57,189 --> 00:43:59,066
I'm not helping you with shit!
877
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,151
Stay the fuck away from me!
878
00:44:02,027 --> 00:44:04,488
Kid's a monster. Jesus Christ.
879
00:44:04,989 --> 00:44:06,407
I kind of love him, though.
880
00:44:06,615 --> 00:44:08,784
Okay, if we're not outta here in, like, an hour…
881
00:44:08,867 --> 00:44:11,287
Jeremy will be dickless The rest of his life.
882
00:44:11,370 --> 00:44:13,122
That's decades with no dick.
883
00:44:13,622 --> 00:44:15,207
No. We need that boat.
884
00:44:15,499 --> 00:44:17,418
Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe.
885
00:44:17,793 --> 00:44:19,128
What are you doing?
886
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,715
Listen here, you little terrorist. This is my brother's dick.
887
00:44:23,048 --> 00:44:25,467
He's in the hospital right now, and he needs us.
888
00:44:25,551 --> 00:44:28,929
We need your boat so we can get to the hospital to reattach it.
889
00:44:29,430 --> 00:44:33,017
Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked.
890
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:34,560
I saw him suck this dick.
891
00:44:34,643 --> 00:44:37,229
I sucked that dick this morning. Now, give us the keys.
892
00:44:40,024 --> 00:44:40,858
Yes!
893
00:44:41,275 --> 00:44:45,321
All right. Tell your dad the boat's gonna be at the south campground lot.
894
00:44:45,404 --> 00:44:47,406
Jesus, Sean, that dick really fucked him up.
895
00:44:47,489 --> 00:44:49,575
He hasn't said a word since you showed him the dick.
896
00:44:49,658 --> 00:44:51,201
What if he never talks again?
897
00:44:53,245 --> 00:44:55,247
Whatever. Fuck this kid. The worst.
898
00:44:55,331 --> 00:44:56,582
Piece of shit, anyway.
899
00:45:00,461 --> 00:45:01,420
Hey, buddy.
900
00:45:03,088 --> 00:45:05,341
Son are Are you okay?
901
00:45:06,133 --> 00:45:07,551
Dicks get cut.
902
00:45:09,011 --> 00:45:10,804
Dicks get sucked.
903
00:45:13,140 --> 00:45:15,726
All right. I got you. Okay.
904
00:45:15,809 --> 00:45:17,686
Good God. Hey!
905
00:45:17,770 --> 00:45:19,772
Hey! Oh, shit!
906
00:45:19,897 --> 00:45:23,317
Oh, my God! Go! Guys, we gotta go!
907
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,487
Go! Shit! There's too many keys. I'm getting the anchor.
908
00:45:26,570 --> 00:45:29,365
Hello, sir, I can completely explain what's going on here.
909
00:45:29,448 --> 00:45:31,325
What have you done to my son?
910
00:45:31,408 --> 00:45:33,118
It's a good thing you're Okay, fuck this.
911
00:45:33,202 --> 00:45:35,037
I'll kill all of you perverts!
912
00:45:40,376 --> 00:45:42,461
Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone.
913
00:45:42,544 --> 00:45:44,046
You're a fucker!
914
00:45:44,129 --> 00:45:46,090
Hit me again. I fucking dare you!
915
00:45:46,173 --> 00:45:49,259
Oh, my God. Ugh. Go.
916
00:45:49,385 --> 00:45:51,136
Let's go! Come on! Move!
917
00:45:51,261 --> 00:45:52,221
I got it!
918
00:45:52,304 --> 00:45:53,931
I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch.
919
00:45:54,014 --> 00:45:55,099
Back the fuck up!
920
00:45:55,849 --> 00:45:57,935
Oh, fuck.
921
00:45:58,018 --> 00:46:00,771
Oh, God. It's slipping, guys!
922
00:46:00,854 --> 00:46:03,816
Shit! He's Cliffhangering! Oh, hold it, Sean.
923
00:46:04,650 --> 00:46:06,193
Fucker!
924
00:46:06,276 --> 00:46:08,362
Oh, my God! Oh, my God. I got it.
925
00:46:11,031 --> 00:46:13,701
Fucker! Auf Wiedersehen!
926
00:46:13,784 --> 00:46:15,369
Hey! That's my boat!
927
00:46:15,452 --> 00:46:16,912
Come back with my boat!
928
00:46:17,579 --> 00:46:20,249
Holy shit. Whoo!
929
00:46:21,417 --> 00:46:22,751
That was insane.
930
00:46:23,252 --> 00:46:26,004
That guy tried to murder us. Yeah. He was crazy.
931
00:46:26,171 --> 00:46:29,717
I mean, in all fairness, he probably thought we molested his kid.
932
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,469
I shouldn't have said, "Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked."
933
00:46:32,553 --> 00:46:33,595
That was too much.
934
00:46:34,805 --> 00:46:36,140
Nice going, pinch hit.
935
00:46:36,557 --> 00:46:39,184
Yeah, thanks. I learned from the best.
936
00:46:41,061 --> 00:46:43,772
When you nailed me in the head with a beer can.
937
00:46:44,231 --> 00:46:46,734
Oh, yeah. That was awesome.
938
00:46:49,820 --> 00:46:54,783
By the way, I got your sign and message received.
939
00:46:54,992 --> 00:46:56,869
My sign? Yeah.
940
00:46:58,662 --> 00:46:59,496
Look familiar?
941
00:47:01,039 --> 00:47:05,085
If I'm wearing your underwear, that means you're not wearing any.
942
00:47:05,961 --> 00:47:07,463
Those aren't my underwear.
943
00:47:08,630 --> 00:47:09,923
Oh, my Oh, my God. Man, that's gross.
944
00:47:11,675 --> 00:47:13,677
Okay, don't tell anyone. I
945
00:47:13,761 --> 00:47:15,888
I really appreciate that you tried.
946
00:47:16,430 --> 00:47:19,308
I think we're actually gonna make it to the hospital in time.
947
00:47:19,391 --> 00:47:21,351
We're a good team. Yeah.
948
00:47:22,686 --> 00:47:25,689
" Stop, drop "
949
00:47:25,773 --> 00:47:27,775
Yeah! Yeah.
950
00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:29,693
Oh, yeah. " Oh "
951
00:47:29,777 --> 00:47:31,779
Time to cooler it up. Whoo!
952
00:47:31,862 --> 00:47:33,906
" That's how Ruff Ryders roll"
953
00:47:33,989 --> 00:47:37,075
Whoo! Yeah! " Stop, drop, shut 'em down "
954
00:47:37,159 --> 00:47:39,036
" Open up shop " Whoo!
955
00:47:39,119 --> 00:47:44,041
" Oh, no That's how Ruff Ryders roll "
956
00:47:44,333 --> 00:47:46,084
Let's find Jeremy and get some ice.
957
00:47:46,168 --> 00:47:48,587
Get that dick to the hospital! God! Donnie!
958
00:47:48,670 --> 00:47:49,546
Oh, my God.
959
00:47:49,630 --> 00:47:52,049
It's all crumbed. Like a churro.
960
00:47:52,508 --> 00:47:55,135
Oh, my God. We made it! Let's go get some ice.
961
00:47:55,219 --> 00:47:56,053
Yes!
962
00:47:57,554 --> 00:47:59,306
" Shut 'em down, open up shop "
963
00:47:59,389 --> 00:48:01,642
Let's go! Let's go!
964
00:48:04,603 --> 00:48:08,232
I have read the literature, and I've come to the conclusion
965
00:48:08,315 --> 00:48:10,734
that I do not fucking want this, okay?
966
00:48:11,109 --> 00:48:12,486
I don't want a butt dick. Hey!
967
00:48:13,111 --> 00:48:16,448
Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one who got drunk and Pfft.
968
00:48:16,532 --> 00:48:19,326
Ob Obviously, you don't have a dick.
969
00:48:19,409 --> 00:48:21,495
No, I don't have a dick!
970
00:48:21,829 --> 00:48:23,664
No one in this room has a dick.
971
00:48:25,290 --> 00:48:26,124
Right?
972
00:48:26,917 --> 00:48:28,794
Yeah. Okay.
973
00:48:35,926 --> 00:48:37,928
Let's hope they're on their way.
974
00:48:42,015 --> 00:48:43,600
Think we should call your parents?
975
00:48:43,684 --> 00:48:45,352
What's your mom's number?
976
00:48:46,061 --> 00:48:47,229
Uh, it's Uh
977
00:48:49,147 --> 00:48:50,524
I don't know it.
978
00:48:50,941 --> 00:48:52,693
At all? No? No. Mmmm.
979
00:48:52,776 --> 00:48:56,822
I don't know. I just programmed them into my first phone. I was 11.
980
00:48:56,905 --> 00:48:59,491
We can maybe check if they left a message on your phone.
981
00:48:59,575 --> 00:49:01,326
Don't leave a message, just text me.
982
00:49:02,327 --> 00:49:04,580
You have one new message.
983
00:49:04,663 --> 00:49:07,291
Fuck you, Becky. You're the taint.
984
00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:09,751
Is that Chad? You hear me?
985
00:49:09,835 --> 00:49:11,003
Um You're the real taint.
986
00:49:11,086 --> 00:49:12,170
I'm glad this is over.
987
00:49:12,546 --> 00:49:14,089
You deserve to be alone.
988
00:49:14,381 --> 00:49:18,010
I want you to take that note I wrote you our fourmonth anniversary and burn it.
989
00:49:18,093 --> 00:49:19,678
I don't mean any of that anymore.
990
00:49:19,761 --> 00:49:20,679
Ah!
991
00:49:20,762 --> 00:49:22,806
You made me so mad, I dropped my vape!
992
00:49:23,181 --> 00:49:26,602
You owe me a new vape, Becky. You hurt my feelings, dawg.
993
00:49:29,521 --> 00:49:31,773
Becky, um, I have to tell you something.
994
00:49:32,065 --> 00:49:33,108
When Um
995
00:49:33,442 --> 00:49:37,446
I'm really sorry, but What? No, no. It's not your fault.
996
00:49:38,155 --> 00:49:39,531
It's just really fucked up
997
00:49:39,615 --> 00:49:43,035
how someone you thought cared about you can lie to your face.
998
00:49:45,996 --> 00:49:46,872
Yeah. Yeah.
999
00:49:55,839 --> 00:49:58,884
Wow. Damn. Girl, you are a really good driver.
1000
00:49:59,051 --> 00:50:00,719
Thanks. God. You're like a young Furiosa.
1001
00:50:14,608 --> 00:50:16,902
All right, man, we gotta get this dick on life support.
1002
00:50:16,985 --> 00:50:18,862
We need bags and ice. Oh, my God, dude.
1003
00:50:18,946 --> 00:50:20,656
This looks like a cat shat in a cooler.
1004
00:50:20,739 --> 00:50:22,366
Oh, shit. Ugh.
1005
00:50:22,491 --> 00:50:23,784
Should we Should we clean it?
1006
00:50:23,867 --> 00:50:26,787
I'm fucked if I know. What do you even clean a dick with?
1007
00:50:26,870 --> 00:50:28,288
Doxycycline.
1008
00:50:29,206 --> 00:50:30,123
Or a ZPak.
1009
00:50:31,667 --> 00:50:34,086
I've had everything in the book. It works. Trust me.
1010
00:50:34,586 --> 00:50:36,797
Which one of you's is it? You?
1011
00:50:37,923 --> 00:50:38,757
You?
1012
00:50:39,675 --> 00:50:40,759
Or is it the ranger?
1013
00:50:40,842 --> 00:50:44,179
Yeah, actually it is for the the young, uh, ranger.
1014
00:50:44,262 --> 00:50:46,056
We need stuff to clean his wound.
1015
00:50:46,598 --> 00:50:47,891
A wounded soldier?
1016
00:50:48,433 --> 00:50:50,894
Um We need to clean his, uh
1017
00:50:56,233 --> 00:50:57,067
Penis.
1018
00:50:57,567 --> 00:50:59,736
Three inches. Severed at the base.
1019
00:51:00,862 --> 00:51:02,114
I've seen this before.
1020
00:51:02,864 --> 00:51:03,824
You have?
1021
00:51:03,907 --> 00:51:07,494
It would be my honor and a privilege if I could do this for you.
1022
00:51:10,706 --> 00:51:11,790
Let's do it. Okay.
1023
00:51:11,873 --> 00:51:13,875
Let's do it!
1024
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,169
All right, let's go.
1025
00:51:16,253 --> 00:51:17,713
He's been in this situation.
1026
00:51:17,796 --> 00:51:19,589
If we're gonna trust someone, it might as well be this guy.
1027
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,012
Whoa, whoopsie.
1028
00:51:49,828 --> 00:51:51,496
His dick's gonna be even better.
1029
00:52:03,341 --> 00:52:04,676
Wow.
1030
00:52:05,635 --> 00:52:07,304
Fresh ice. Good as new.
1031
00:52:08,221 --> 00:52:10,599
Oh, wow.
1032
00:52:11,725 --> 00:52:12,851
That is amazing.
1033
00:52:12,934 --> 00:52:14,144
Yup.
1034
00:52:14,227 --> 00:52:16,480
Thank you. My pleasure.
1035
00:52:17,355 --> 00:52:18,356
Good luck, soldiers.
1036
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,858
Hey, yeah. Oh, hey.
1037
00:52:20,150 --> 00:52:23,028
If you need anything, this is my card.
1038
00:52:24,404 --> 00:52:27,532
Let your sergeant know what happened. Absolutely. Will do.
1039
00:52:27,616 --> 00:52:29,242
Yeah. What the hell's that?
1040
00:52:29,951 --> 00:52:31,119
It's just my wallet.
1041
00:52:32,579 --> 00:52:35,916
Ow! Crestview High School.
1042
00:52:36,583 --> 00:52:37,667
Junior.
1043
00:52:39,544 --> 00:52:40,796
The hell's going on here?
1044
00:52:40,879 --> 00:52:43,006
It's just a really old high school ID.
1045
00:52:43,090 --> 00:52:44,132
Says it's from this year.
1046
00:52:44,216 --> 00:52:45,967
Does it? Mmhmm. Yeah.
1047
00:52:46,051 --> 00:52:47,302
Okay. Fuck.
1048
00:52:50,263 --> 00:52:53,642
Did you boys lie about being servicemen so you could buy alcohol?
1049
00:52:53,725 --> 00:52:55,560
No. No, absolutely not.
1050
00:52:55,644 --> 00:52:58,563
There is no way we would ever lie. It's
1051
00:53:02,609 --> 00:53:04,820
Our Our friend Jeremy, he lied.
1052
00:53:05,445 --> 00:53:08,406
You mean, I just cleaned a civilian dick?
1053
00:53:08,490 --> 00:53:10,992
I am so, so sorry. Stay cool, man.
1054
00:53:11,076 --> 00:53:12,953
Get the hell over here! Fuck.
1055
00:53:13,036 --> 00:53:14,454
Go, dude! Go! Come back here.
1056
00:53:18,625 --> 00:53:20,418
We have got to go!
1057
00:53:21,211 --> 00:53:22,170
He looks mad!
1058
00:53:22,254 --> 00:53:24,089
Go! Oh, come on. Okay.
1059
00:53:24,464 --> 00:53:26,466
Here it is! Unlock! Unlock the door, Becky.
1060
00:53:26,550 --> 00:53:28,844
I'm pressing unlock. Open the door.
1061
00:53:32,139 --> 00:53:34,307
Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow! Go!
1062
00:53:34,391 --> 00:53:38,520
The only dicks that I touch are mine and my husband's.
1063
00:53:39,020 --> 00:53:40,147
Go! Shit!
1064
00:53:40,230 --> 00:53:42,858
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1065
00:53:43,567 --> 00:53:44,484
Hey!
1066
00:53:44,568 --> 00:53:46,570
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
1067
00:53:46,653 --> 00:53:48,071
That was crazy. God.
1068
00:53:48,155 --> 00:53:50,073
Oh, my God. Holy shit.
1069
00:53:50,157 --> 00:53:52,409
Guys, we made it.
1070
00:53:55,579 --> 00:53:57,914
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Holy shit!
1071
00:53:57,998 --> 00:53:58,957
Fuck you!
1072
00:53:59,416 --> 00:54:01,001
Yeah, fuck you!
1073
00:54:01,084 --> 00:54:03,086
Holy fuck! Are you okay? Ow
1074
00:54:03,211 --> 00:54:05,505
You look okay. Looks like just the tip went in.
1075
00:54:05,589 --> 00:54:08,091
Come on, Donnie. You love just the tip.
1076
00:54:08,175 --> 00:54:10,051
Fuck, that's really funny, but not right now.
1077
00:54:13,138 --> 00:54:16,224
Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S?
1078
00:54:16,308 --> 00:54:18,768
We're supposed to meet for the first time this summer.
1079
00:54:18,852 --> 00:54:21,438
That name is like Catfishing 101.
1080
00:54:21,521 --> 00:54:22,522
Why does everyone say that?
1081
00:54:22,606 --> 00:54:24,566
She likes to text. She doesn't like talking.
1082
00:54:24,649 --> 00:54:26,193
That is definitely a catfish.
1083
00:54:26,776 --> 00:54:28,904
Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die,
1084
00:54:29,946 --> 00:54:33,283
I need her to know that I love her.
1085
00:54:33,366 --> 00:54:36,369
You're not gonna die. You just won't have a penis.
1086
00:54:36,453 --> 00:54:38,371
I'd rather die than not have my penis.
1087
00:54:38,455 --> 00:54:39,873
We've waited all day.
1088
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:41,833
It's been almost 12 hours.
1089
00:54:41,917 --> 00:54:43,668
We haven't heard anything from your friends.
1090
00:54:43,752 --> 00:54:46,087
Yeah, but there's still time. Nah.
1091
00:54:46,379 --> 00:54:49,090
Look at the flower. Look. It still has most of its petals.
1092
00:54:49,716 --> 00:54:52,219
What? No. Dude The flower
1093
00:54:52,552 --> 00:54:53,970
that was an example.
1094
00:54:54,054 --> 00:54:57,641
Did you think that that flower was magically linked to your penis?
1095
00:54:59,601 --> 00:55:01,770
This isn't Beauty and the Beast.
1096
00:55:01,853 --> 00:55:05,649
But me and my friends are fucking idiots. They're gonna need more time.
1097
00:55:05,732 --> 00:55:07,734
Honestly, it's not looking good.
1098
00:55:07,943 --> 00:55:11,404
So, let's just hope your friends are arriving right now.
1099
00:55:17,410 --> 00:55:20,247
Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar.
1100
00:55:20,747 --> 00:55:22,958
We have a a special delivery.
1101
00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,168
Uh, one moment.
1102
00:55:25,377 --> 00:55:27,254
Abelar? Abelar. Abelar. Yes.
1103
00:55:27,379 --> 00:55:28,838
AB Oh Ooh
1104
00:55:28,922 --> 00:55:31,091
I just gotta go back here.
1105
00:55:31,174 --> 00:55:33,260
That's it.
1106
00:55:33,677 --> 00:55:35,512
Ah! Yep.
1107
00:55:35,845 --> 00:55:37,597
Ah, we don't have a patient under that name.
1108
00:55:38,014 --> 00:55:41,643
Uh, the helicopter EMT said they would be bringing him here.
1109
00:55:41,726 --> 00:55:43,436
I don't know what to tell you. He's not here.
1110
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:44,854
They sometimes reroute medevacs.
1111
00:55:44,938 --> 00:55:47,148
I'd try Clarkson Memorial. They have a helipad.
1112
00:55:53,530 --> 00:55:55,073
Fu
1113
00:56:00,036 --> 00:56:01,037
ck!
1114
00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:03,331
Let's go.
1115
00:56:06,293 --> 00:56:07,294
Go, go, go, go, go!
1116
00:56:09,546 --> 00:56:11,298
Everybody, listen up!
1117
00:56:11,548 --> 00:56:13,633
There is a penis in this cooler!
1118
00:56:13,717 --> 00:56:15,427
Are we in the right place or what?
1119
00:56:15,635 --> 00:56:16,678
Is that the penis?
1120
00:56:16,761 --> 00:56:18,096
Yes! Yes! Thank God. Yes.
1121
00:56:18,388 --> 00:56:20,640
Oh! We didn't think you guys were gonna make it.
1122
00:56:21,308 --> 00:56:23,476
The penis is here!
1123
00:56:23,768 --> 00:56:26,563
Page the anesthesiologist. I want to get into surgery immediately.
1124
00:56:26,646 --> 00:56:28,481
Yes! Hey!
1125
00:56:30,650 --> 00:56:31,735
You guys did good.
1126
00:56:32,610 --> 00:56:34,529
Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake.
1127
00:56:34,821 --> 00:56:37,907
I sucked it pretty good, but you should still check for venom.
1128
00:56:41,661 --> 00:56:42,662
Prep the OR!
1129
00:56:42,746 --> 00:56:43,830
Goddamn hero.
1130
00:56:44,289 --> 00:56:47,083
Yes!
1131
00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:49,461
Yes! Oh, God. Ow! Oh, ow!
1132
00:56:49,544 --> 00:56:52,005
Someone's thumb went in my hole. You okay?
1133
00:57:00,764 --> 00:57:03,099
You can scoot closer.
1134
00:57:04,059 --> 00:57:05,894
You're kind of far away.
1135
00:57:05,977 --> 00:57:07,187
Yeah.
1136
00:57:11,900 --> 00:57:14,069
Hey, thank you for your shirt, also, by the way.
1137
00:57:14,152 --> 00:57:15,487
Oh, yeah, no problem.
1138
00:57:15,570 --> 00:57:18,323
It's comfortable. It smells good. Looks great on you.
1139
00:57:18,406 --> 00:57:19,240
Thanks.
1140
00:57:27,123 --> 00:57:29,209
Hey, um, you know what? Uh
1141
00:57:30,794 --> 00:57:34,172
Remember at the Rent cast party?
1142
00:57:35,548 --> 00:57:39,260
Mmhmm? I actually had a crush on you, too.
1143
00:57:46,768 --> 00:57:47,769
You you did?
1144
00:57:49,354 --> 00:57:50,188
Yeah.
1145
00:57:50,814 --> 00:57:53,400
Yeah, also momentarily.
1146
00:57:54,734 --> 00:57:55,902
Um Right.
1147
00:57:56,778 --> 00:57:57,695
Yeah, I mean
1148
00:57:58,321 --> 00:57:59,406
I don't know.
1149
00:58:05,745 --> 00:58:07,288
Wow, the Fuck King?
1150
00:58:08,415 --> 00:58:11,084
The Fuck Are you the Fuck King?
1151
00:58:11,751 --> 00:58:14,003
Uh, no, that's not me. I'm not the Fuck King.
1152
00:58:14,504 --> 00:58:16,506
Just a fuck prince. I wouldn't even
1153
00:58:16,923 --> 00:58:18,341
I think I'm more of a jester.
1154
00:58:18,425 --> 00:58:19,592
You're a fuck jester. Yeah.
1155
00:58:19,968 --> 00:58:21,219
That's that's more fun.
1156
00:58:21,719 --> 00:58:24,347
You wanted to use it at the hospital here?
1157
00:58:24,889 --> 00:58:26,266
Well Um
1158
00:58:28,852 --> 00:58:32,647
Jeremy actually gave it to me to use with you.
1159
00:58:33,523 --> 00:58:36,109
And I said, "That's crazy." That's really weird.
1160
00:58:36,192 --> 00:58:38,611
I'm on the same page. It's weird. I'm his sister.
1161
00:58:38,695 --> 00:58:40,029
So it's not really mine.
1162
00:58:40,113 --> 00:58:42,198
Ew! Ew! I know! I know!
1163
00:58:42,907 --> 00:58:44,159
Why? Yeah.
1164
00:58:44,325 --> 00:58:46,411
The Fuck King? Come on. I know. It's weird.
1165
00:58:46,870 --> 00:58:50,206
I mean, it's not like you still have a crush on me.
1166
00:58:53,626 --> 00:58:54,878
Do you still have a crush on me?
1167
00:58:58,423 --> 00:58:59,591
Excuse me. Wha
1168
00:58:59,674 --> 00:59:01,759
Come with me. The doctor would like to see you.
1169
00:59:01,885 --> 00:59:04,345
Okay, yeah, great. Let's go. Yeah, let's go.
1170
00:59:04,429 --> 00:59:07,265
Um Donnie. Hey.
1171
00:59:08,016 --> 00:59:09,601
The doctor wants to see us. Let's go.
1172
00:59:10,018 --> 00:59:11,936
Okay. Were you just
1173
00:59:12,020 --> 00:59:13,229
God damn.
1174
00:59:15,773 --> 00:59:17,442
Sean. Let's go. Yeah.
1175
00:59:18,443 --> 00:59:21,488
Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my Yeah, I'm on my way.
1176
00:59:23,615 --> 00:59:25,200
What's your problem? Nothing.
1177
00:59:25,283 --> 00:59:28,203
I lost something. I can't remember
1178
00:59:28,745 --> 00:59:29,621
if I
1179
00:59:30,872 --> 00:59:33,333
Sean, do you have a boner? I don't have a boner.
1180
00:59:33,416 --> 00:59:34,918
Just my back hurts, and
1181
00:59:35,418 --> 00:59:36,336
So
1182
00:59:36,711 --> 00:59:40,381
basically every time you touch Sean, he gets a raging bonie.
1183
00:59:42,258 --> 00:59:44,844
See? I told you. You give him boners.
1184
00:59:44,928 --> 00:59:45,803
What?
1185
00:59:47,055 --> 00:59:48,181
I don't have a bonie.
1186
00:59:51,559 --> 00:59:52,519
Did you just fart?
1187
00:59:52,602 --> 00:59:53,603
No, it was the seat.
1188
00:59:53,686 --> 00:59:56,022
Oh, my God. Do you have the farts and a boner?
1189
00:59:56,105 --> 01:00:00,485
I don't have farts or a boner. One of those is a lie.
1190
01:00:00,568 --> 01:00:03,863
Let's You got it. You got it. Do you, buddy.
1191
01:00:04,489 --> 01:00:06,115
Thank you. Shocking, man.
1192
01:00:06,282 --> 01:00:07,116
Thanks.
1193
01:00:19,170 --> 01:00:21,881
Good news. Surgery went perfectly.
1194
01:00:21,965 --> 01:00:23,258
Oh, my God.
1195
01:00:23,341 --> 01:00:24,926
Well, not perfectly.
1196
01:00:25,009 --> 01:00:26,803
But as good as we could have hoped.
1197
01:00:27,095 --> 01:00:30,265
We have a successful reattachment, and your friend's gonna be fine.
1198
01:00:30,890 --> 01:00:32,642
What about the snake venom?
1199
01:00:33,017 --> 01:00:34,352
There was no venom in the penis.
1200
01:00:34,894 --> 01:00:36,604
Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out.
1201
01:00:36,688 --> 01:00:38,690
No.
1202
01:00:38,773 --> 01:00:41,859
There was never any venom in the penis. Huh?
1203
01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:44,320
It's impossible to suck venom out of a bite wound.
1204
01:00:45,405 --> 01:00:46,656
It was a defensive bite.
1205
01:00:46,990 --> 01:00:47,991
Whatever, man.
1206
01:00:48,074 --> 01:00:50,702
Don't listen. He doesn't know shit. Yeah.
1207
01:00:50,785 --> 01:00:52,328
Right. I'm just a doctor.
1208
01:00:52,870 --> 01:00:56,416
Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked for no reason
1209
01:00:56,499 --> 01:00:59,794
is gonna be under a bit longer, but you can go in and see him.
1210
01:00:59,877 --> 01:01:02,297
Sure he'd love to wake up to some friendly faces.
1211
01:01:04,007 --> 01:01:04,841
Salty.
1212
01:01:08,970 --> 01:01:09,846
Here we go. All right.
1213
01:01:11,514 --> 01:01:12,849
Let's do it.
1214
01:01:24,736 --> 01:01:25,862
Who's this?
1215
01:01:28,406 --> 01:01:30,241
Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse.
1216
01:01:30,366 --> 01:01:33,911
The doctor told us the wrong room. We're looking for Jeremy Abelar.
1217
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,331
Jeremy Abelar.
1218
01:01:37,332 --> 01:01:40,043
No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar in recovery.
1219
01:01:40,126 --> 01:01:43,171
The doctor told us that he transferred from surgery.
1220
01:01:43,254 --> 01:01:46,049
Let's make this simpler. It's the guy that got his wiener reattached.
1221
01:01:46,132 --> 01:01:48,509
Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson.
1222
01:01:48,885 --> 01:01:51,054
No, no, no. The other person for a severed penis.
1223
01:01:51,137 --> 01:01:51,971
Yeah.
1224
01:01:53,014 --> 01:01:57,018
If there was somebody else here with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know.
1225
01:01:57,101 --> 01:01:58,269
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1226
01:01:58,353 --> 01:02:02,065
If if Jeremy's not here, then
1227
01:02:02,774 --> 01:02:05,068
We gave someone else Jeremy's penis.
1228
01:02:05,652 --> 01:02:06,486
What?
1229
01:02:07,528 --> 01:02:08,863
That's our friend's dick?
1230
01:02:09,364 --> 01:02:10,615
That's our friend's dick.
1231
01:02:10,698 --> 01:02:13,326
That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God. That right?
1232
01:02:13,409 --> 01:02:15,495
What kind of fucking hospital is this? Security!
1233
01:02:18,122 --> 01:02:20,166
You have my friend's penis.
1234
01:02:20,249 --> 01:02:22,585
Hang on for one second. It's a simple mistake.
1235
01:02:22,669 --> 01:02:25,797
It's an honest mistake, I'm sure. But you guys have the wrong penis, okay?
1236
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:27,548
You have the wrong penis and
1237
01:02:28,925 --> 01:02:31,511
You all saw that! You're witnesses!
1238
01:02:31,678 --> 01:02:33,096
Are you okay? That's a felony!
1239
01:02:33,179 --> 01:02:36,015
All right, we need to figure out if there's a head of the hospital
1240
01:02:36,099 --> 01:02:38,309
and explain the situation and see if
1241
01:02:38,393 --> 01:02:41,020
And what? They'll just grow him another dick
1242
01:02:41,104 --> 01:02:42,855
with their magic dickmaking machine?
1243
01:02:44,273 --> 01:02:47,610
I'm not just gonna give up. You have no idea where Jeremy is.
1244
01:02:48,277 --> 01:02:49,529
It's pretty obvious we're done.
1245
01:02:49,612 --> 01:02:50,655
That's awesome, Donnie.
1246
01:02:50,738 --> 01:02:53,116
Sarah, I'm sorry. Can you tell your boyfriend or whatever
1247
01:02:53,199 --> 01:02:55,535
to stop throwing a little baby boy tantrum right now.
1248
01:02:57,078 --> 01:02:59,872
Maybe I should be more like you. Right? Manipulate things.
1249
01:02:59,956 --> 01:03:03,584
Make 'em go my way. Like what you did with the medevac.
1250
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,003
Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about?
1251
01:03:06,129 --> 01:03:09,590
Uh, while your brother was lying there, maybe about to die, uh
1252
01:03:10,341 --> 01:03:13,469
Sean was pretending to be you and texting Chad from your phone.
1253
01:03:14,929 --> 01:03:15,763
Sean.
1254
01:03:16,472 --> 01:03:17,807
Sea Sean?
1255
01:03:18,516 --> 01:03:19,726
Are you serious?
1256
01:03:20,226 --> 01:03:23,187
You It was It was an accident. I was
1257
01:03:23,271 --> 01:03:25,898
How is texting my boyfriend as me an accident?
1258
01:03:25,982 --> 01:03:27,650
You guys weren't even technically together.
1259
01:03:27,734 --> 01:03:30,319
What? What? What did you say? What did you say to him?
1260
01:03:31,529 --> 01:03:34,949
I said, "Fuck you. We're done." And then I called him "dirty taint."
1261
01:03:36,576 --> 01:03:37,410
Wow.
1262
01:03:37,493 --> 01:03:39,495
Yeah. Um, okay.
1263
01:03:39,704 --> 01:03:41,456
The the voicemail?
1264
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,126
The voicemail he sent me.
1265
01:03:46,377 --> 01:03:49,213
I, um I need to I need to go.
1266
01:03:50,006 --> 01:03:52,759
I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone. No. What the hell?
1267
01:03:52,842 --> 01:03:54,635
You do not want to fuck with me right now!
1268
01:03:56,512 --> 01:03:58,890
Just messaging Chad and telling him to pick me up.
1269
01:03:58,973 --> 01:04:00,308
Becky
1270
01:04:04,604 --> 01:04:06,147
Of course, he's online. Okay.
1271
01:04:06,230 --> 01:04:07,815
He's coming to pick me up.
1272
01:04:08,232 --> 01:04:09,066
Thank you.
1273
01:04:09,859 --> 01:04:10,777
Sarah, let's go.
1274
01:04:18,242 --> 01:04:21,412
Becky! Becky!
1275
01:04:21,496 --> 01:04:22,538
Becky.
1276
01:04:24,582 --> 01:04:26,250
Use the twin connection.
1277
01:04:27,460 --> 01:04:28,377
Find me.
1278
01:04:28,753 --> 01:04:32,173
If you can hear me, please hurry up and come and save me.
1279
01:04:33,299 --> 01:04:34,133
Becky!
1280
01:04:34,217 --> 01:04:36,427
Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello.
1281
01:04:36,552 --> 01:04:38,304
Um, so
1282
01:04:38,387 --> 01:04:40,348
we got you an operating room.
1283
01:04:40,431 --> 01:04:41,599
I'm telling you, lady.
1284
01:04:41,933 --> 01:04:43,100
My friends are close.
1285
01:04:43,434 --> 01:04:45,812
And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if they're close.
1286
01:04:45,895 --> 01:04:50,775
By now, unless your penis somehow got fresh, oxygenated blood in it,
1287
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:53,194
it's dead.
1288
01:04:53,528 --> 01:04:57,490
No, no, no, no! Don't.
1289
01:04:57,573 --> 01:04:58,574
Oh, my God.
1290
01:04:59,033 --> 01:05:02,745
There's no point in waiting any longer for trash to arrive.
1291
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:05,289
Okay, fine.
1292
01:05:06,249 --> 01:05:07,708
Let's do the buttskin dick.
1293
01:05:07,792 --> 01:05:09,836
A graft is no longer an option.
1294
01:05:09,919 --> 01:05:11,462
What? Do you smell that?
1295
01:05:11,546 --> 01:05:14,257
You know we don't serve blue cheese in the cafeteria, right?
1296
01:05:14,340 --> 01:05:15,424
That that is
1297
01:05:16,175 --> 01:05:17,218
That's your hole.
1298
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:18,594
I'm sorry.
1299
01:05:19,762 --> 01:05:21,973
The anesthesiologist will be in shortly.
1300
01:05:26,102 --> 01:05:27,854
Wow. So this is really happening.
1301
01:05:32,024 --> 01:05:33,943
I can't believe I shat on your chances with Becky.
1302
01:05:34,068 --> 01:05:37,655
Yeah, it's my own fault. I'm a fucking idiot.
1303
01:05:38,072 --> 01:05:39,282
Uh, no.
1304
01:05:40,491 --> 01:05:44,495
Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor about you going to rehab for bath salts.
1305
01:05:44,996 --> 01:05:45,997
What? That was you?
1306
01:05:46,122 --> 01:05:49,125
I feel like we both now know I have problems with abandonment.
1307
01:05:49,208 --> 01:05:50,334
Yep. I can't believe
1308
01:05:50,418 --> 01:05:52,086
I found a dick in the sewer.
1309
01:05:52,378 --> 01:05:55,464
Believe it, young'un. You just got your dick cherry popped.
1310
01:05:55,548 --> 01:05:56,757
Gonna need a new cooler.
1311
01:05:57,633 --> 01:05:58,759
Fuck. Dude.
1312
01:05:58,843 --> 01:06:02,138
Yo. Yo, yo, yo. They have the redneck's dick.
1313
01:06:02,805 --> 01:06:03,764
If
1314
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,225
we can get it to the doctor
1315
01:06:07,018 --> 01:06:11,439
then the doctor can reattach it and we can get Jeremy's penis back.
1316
01:06:11,772 --> 01:06:13,399
We haven't been good friends to each other.
1317
01:06:13,482 --> 01:06:15,776
I feel like I've been a good friend But
1318
01:06:15,902 --> 01:06:17,737
we can be best friends for Jeremy.
1319
01:06:18,654 --> 01:06:19,530
Let's do it.
1320
01:06:31,626 --> 01:06:32,627
Hey, man.
1321
01:06:33,210 --> 01:06:34,337
Who the hell are you?
1322
01:06:35,254 --> 01:06:37,882
I said no visitors. Uh, I'm really sorry.
1323
01:06:38,299 --> 01:06:40,718
There's something that you should know about
1324
01:06:41,677 --> 01:06:42,803
your penis.
1325
01:06:43,137 --> 01:06:45,640
Er, I mean, it's not your penis
1326
01:06:46,223 --> 01:06:48,100
You have our friend Jeremy's penis.
1327
01:06:48,768 --> 01:06:50,186
What the hell are you talking about?
1328
01:06:50,269 --> 01:06:52,772
They put our friend's penis on you. Yes, they did.
1329
01:06:53,898 --> 01:06:56,984
Like, not like when I was out, they put your friend's dick on my face
1330
01:06:57,109 --> 01:07:00,112
I don't know, maybe that happened. But then they sewed it on you.
1331
01:07:03,282 --> 01:07:06,410
You're gonna see right away it's our friend Jeremy's penis.
1332
01:07:07,161 --> 01:07:09,538
Oh, my God.
1333
01:07:10,331 --> 01:07:11,332
That is not my dick.
1334
01:07:11,415 --> 01:07:13,167
That's not your dick. It's what I said.
1335
01:07:13,250 --> 01:07:15,836
Why? Why? Why is it so ugly?
1336
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:17,463
Yeah. Oh, my God.
1337
01:07:17,797 --> 01:07:20,049
Where did they find this? A little Navajo boy?
1338
01:07:20,132 --> 01:07:21,384
It's a normallooking dick.
1339
01:07:21,467 --> 01:07:23,511
Once the swelling goes down, it's gonna get smaller?
1340
01:07:23,594 --> 01:07:26,806
Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to work with this?
1341
01:07:27,598 --> 01:07:30,643
Ugh. You two again? Hey! Am I gonna have to call security?
1342
01:07:30,726 --> 01:07:32,561
Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice.
1343
01:07:32,687 --> 01:07:35,231
Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick onto the wrong body.
1344
01:07:35,314 --> 01:07:37,692
If you don't want us to fuck your world up, you listen.
1345
01:07:37,775 --> 01:07:41,070
Two water sanitation workers just came into the hospital with his dick.
1346
01:07:41,362 --> 01:07:43,280
What? My real penis is here? Yeah, man.
1347
01:07:43,364 --> 01:07:45,491
What we need you to do is reattach 'em.
1348
01:07:45,825 --> 01:07:49,704
Guys You don't just pop 'em on and off.
1349
01:07:49,787 --> 01:07:51,539
It's a delicate operation.
1350
01:07:52,039 --> 01:07:53,416
It's not a fucking LEGO set.
1351
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,252
That dick is staying on that body.
1352
01:07:56,836 --> 01:07:59,547
Are you trying to tell me that I'm stuck with this
1353
01:08:00,715 --> 01:08:02,550
this thing? Hey, man.
1354
01:08:02,967 --> 01:08:03,801
That thing
1355
01:08:04,593 --> 01:08:05,720
that fucking thing
1356
01:08:06,554 --> 01:08:09,432
belonged to a goddamn majestic person.
1357
01:08:09,807 --> 01:08:11,267
And you need to respect
1358
01:08:11,350 --> 01:08:14,562
that you got a part of my friend on you now forever.
1359
01:08:15,354 --> 01:08:16,981
Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy.
1360
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:18,566
It's a good dick.
1361
01:08:20,526 --> 01:08:22,403
You need to honor that penis.
1362
01:08:22,486 --> 01:08:26,615
And bring it as much joy as Jeremy brings us
1363
01:08:26,699 --> 01:08:28,617
every time you take it out.
1364
01:08:28,701 --> 01:08:31,203
Because it belonged to a great dude.
1365
01:08:31,287 --> 01:08:32,121
The best.
1366
01:08:33,414 --> 01:08:35,833
You guys seem like some really good friends.
1367
01:08:37,877 --> 01:08:39,545
I wish I would have listened to my buddies
1368
01:08:39,628 --> 01:08:42,256
when they told me that Cheryl was a psycho bitch.
1369
01:08:42,631 --> 01:08:44,008
Never would have let her tie me up.
1370
01:08:44,383 --> 01:08:46,343
I thought she just wanted to get freaky.
1371
01:08:46,427 --> 01:08:49,138
Maybe do some butt stuff. That's awesome.
1372
01:08:49,221 --> 01:08:50,431
Anything goes, you know?
1373
01:08:51,182 --> 01:08:54,560
She put on her sexy little Juicy Cooter slip.
1374
01:08:56,937 --> 01:08:58,522
Got my rod all hard.
1375
01:08:58,606 --> 01:08:59,523
Cool.
1376
01:08:59,607 --> 01:09:02,318
She started licking all up in my ear, you know.
1377
01:09:02,943 --> 01:09:05,321
Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot.
1378
01:09:05,696 --> 01:09:07,698
And she leans in and she whispers
1379
01:09:09,241 --> 01:09:11,494
"I know about you and my sister."
1380
01:09:14,038 --> 01:09:16,874
Yeah, and then she whips out a pair of scissors and bam!
1381
01:09:17,666 --> 01:09:19,752
She snips my dick clean off.
1382
01:09:19,835 --> 01:09:21,504
Yep. And then she flushed it.
1383
01:09:21,796 --> 01:09:24,423
She flushed my peepee like a poopoo.
1384
01:09:24,507 --> 01:09:27,176
She sounds like one bag of trash.
1385
01:09:27,259 --> 01:09:28,177
Yep.
1386
01:09:28,761 --> 01:09:30,262
You know what the craziest part is?
1387
01:09:33,516 --> 01:09:34,600
I still love her.
1388
01:09:35,309 --> 01:09:36,143
There it is.
1389
01:09:36,727 --> 01:09:39,522
You know, I know it's just a dirty toilet dick but, doctor
1390
01:09:41,148 --> 01:09:44,652
I'd like to give these two young men my old penis.
1391
01:09:45,653 --> 01:09:47,822
That's awesome. You know, that might work.
1392
01:09:47,905 --> 01:09:49,615
Yeah. Because
1393
01:09:50,991 --> 01:09:54,578
everybody deserves a second chance.
1394
01:09:54,703 --> 01:09:56,664
Even me?
1395
01:09:58,415 --> 01:09:59,291
Cheryl.
1396
01:10:00,417 --> 01:10:03,170
Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby.
1397
01:10:03,754 --> 01:10:05,172
Baby, I'm so sorry.
1398
01:10:05,256 --> 01:10:08,134
No, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing.
1399
01:10:08,217 --> 01:10:10,719
I don't know what I was thinking.
1400
01:10:10,803 --> 01:10:15,683
I just went in. I I grabbed 'em and I snipped it.
1401
01:10:15,766 --> 01:10:18,769
You got through it real easy, too. I was surprised.
1402
01:10:18,853 --> 01:10:20,396
Can you ever forgive me?
1403
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:22,857
If I could suck it back on, I would.
1404
01:10:22,940 --> 01:10:25,442
I know it was the drugs. I know it was the drugs.
1405
01:10:25,526 --> 01:10:27,153
You know it was the drugs.
1406
01:10:27,236 --> 01:10:28,654
Baby. Yeah?
1407
01:10:28,737 --> 01:10:31,782
And how about a little kiss? Yeah, okay.
1408
01:10:32,449 --> 01:10:34,451
That feels good. Little kisses of an angel.
1409
01:10:34,535 --> 01:10:37,329
Yeah. It's okay. Oh, my God.
1410
01:10:38,164 --> 01:10:41,208
Baby. Oh, I love you so much. I love you so much.
1411
01:10:41,292 --> 01:10:42,376
Let's go. Oh, Jesus.
1412
01:10:42,459 --> 01:10:45,462
You're my king. The scepter has been repaired.
1413
01:10:45,546 --> 01:10:47,756
When's little Reggie gonna be ready for me to
1414
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:49,967
Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look
1415
01:10:51,010 --> 01:10:53,554
I think they can attach Reginald's penis to your friend.
1416
01:10:54,013 --> 01:10:57,349
Okay? It's in the cold storage. One floor up, end of the hall.
1417
01:10:57,850 --> 01:10:58,934
Take my key card.
1418
01:10:59,602 --> 01:11:01,812
Why aren't you coming? "Why aren't you coming?"
1419
01:11:01,896 --> 01:11:04,982
How about I don't want to get sued? If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it.
1420
01:11:05,065 --> 01:11:07,359
Wow. That's so great of you. You're so nice.
1421
01:11:07,443 --> 01:11:09,236
Oh!
1422
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:10,154
Oh, Scheiße!
1423
01:11:10,237 --> 01:11:11,739
What the fuck did you do that for?
1424
01:11:11,822 --> 01:11:14,491
So they believe we stole the key card. I don't know. I have a super fucking sensitive nose, you guys.
1425
01:11:17,328 --> 01:11:20,164
Why? Why?
1426
01:11:20,247 --> 01:11:21,916
Oh, my God!
1427
01:11:22,291 --> 01:11:24,376
Holy shi Oh, my God!
1428
01:11:24,460 --> 01:11:25,294
She cut it off again!
1429
01:11:25,377 --> 01:11:29,757
I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock, you cheating son of a bitch.
1430
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:32,218
Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag!
1431
01:11:32,301 --> 01:11:34,511
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that! It's my cock!
1432
01:11:34,637 --> 01:11:36,013
It's my dick.
1433
01:11:40,726 --> 01:11:42,269
Jesus! Oh!
1434
01:11:42,353 --> 01:11:44,396
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut it up
1435
01:11:44,480 --> 01:11:46,649
like a little threeyearold's lunch.
1436
01:11:46,732 --> 01:11:49,777
She will do it. Trust me. I'll do it. I'm crazy!
1437
01:11:49,860 --> 01:11:51,528
Oh! You're crazy, lady!
1438
01:11:53,864 --> 01:11:55,449
Ow! Where'd she go?
1439
01:11:55,532 --> 01:11:57,576
Where is she?
1440
01:11:57,660 --> 01:11:58,953
Oh, my God.
1441
01:12:00,037 --> 01:12:01,664
Oh, fuck! What the fuck?
1442
01:12:01,747 --> 01:12:05,459
I don't care how many times you reattach it, Reggie.
1443
01:12:05,834 --> 01:12:08,879
I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off,
1444
01:12:08,963 --> 01:12:12,466
and I'm gonna flush it every time.
1445
01:12:12,549 --> 01:12:14,677
Don't you dare. Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie!
1446
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:16,011
She'll do it.
1447
01:12:16,095 --> 01:12:19,431
Cheryl, give me that.
1448
01:12:24,353 --> 01:12:26,605
Oh!
1449
01:12:28,232 --> 01:12:30,859
Blow it down! Blow the dick down.
1450
01:12:32,611 --> 01:12:33,821
I got you now.
1451
01:12:35,239 --> 01:12:38,409
Whoa! Whoa!
1452
01:12:38,492 --> 01:12:40,202
Wait a minute, baby! What?
1453
01:12:40,286 --> 01:12:41,620
I love you.
1454
01:12:42,121 --> 01:12:45,833
I love you too, Reggie. Why do you think I'm doing all this?
1455
01:12:46,041 --> 01:12:47,251
Security!
1456
01:12:48,919 --> 01:12:51,463
Mission accomplished, bitch! God damn it!
1457
01:12:51,547 --> 01:12:53,048
Oh!
1458
01:12:55,843 --> 01:12:58,053
It was just supposed to be camping.
1459
01:13:00,597 --> 01:13:02,683
Oh, fuck. I'm gonna pick it up.
1460
01:13:03,851 --> 01:13:06,270
I'm gonna flip it like dog poop.
1461
01:13:09,773 --> 01:13:12,776
Well, boys, I guess you get your wish. You got your friend's dick back.
1462
01:13:12,860 --> 01:13:14,903
Thanks! Let's go. Come on.
1463
01:13:14,987 --> 01:13:16,238
Good luck, boys!
1464
01:13:16,989 --> 01:13:17,948
Oh, shit.
1465
01:13:21,035 --> 01:13:22,036
You okay?
1466
01:13:25,664 --> 01:13:28,167
Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls. What?
1467
01:13:31,170 --> 01:13:32,004
Hey. What's going on?
1468
01:13:34,548 --> 01:13:36,800
We we have Jeremy's penis.
1469
01:13:36,884 --> 01:13:38,761
Thought it got sewn on to that other guy.
1470
01:13:39,053 --> 01:13:40,721
Oh, it It did. Well, yeah.
1471
01:13:48,228 --> 01:13:49,188
'Sup, babe?
1472
01:13:49,271 --> 01:13:50,647
It's fucking Chad.
1473
01:13:59,448 --> 01:14:02,117
Here. Take take it.
1474
01:14:04,286 --> 01:14:06,288
I know you're done with me, but the receptionist said there are five other hospitals Jeremy could be in.
1475
01:14:08,457 --> 01:14:12,795
We're gonna drive around and call around and see if we can find out where he is.
1476
01:14:12,878 --> 01:14:15,297
And if we figure it out before you
1477
01:14:16,048 --> 01:14:19,468
I will text you. I'll text Chad.
1478
01:14:20,719 --> 01:14:22,346
As me this time, not as you.
1479
01:14:24,973 --> 01:14:26,100
Do it.
1480
01:14:26,767 --> 01:14:30,145
You know what, I am really sorry that I sent that text.
1481
01:14:30,312 --> 01:14:32,481
But you deserve to be with somebody who respects you.
1482
01:14:35,943 --> 01:14:37,236
Not somebody who cheats on you.
1483
01:14:40,656 --> 01:14:43,200
You're amazing, and I really like you.
1484
01:14:43,659 --> 01:14:44,868
And I've always liked you.
1485
01:14:45,411 --> 01:14:48,622
And not always I haven't
1486
01:14:48,831 --> 01:14:51,250
I don't, like, like you like a lot. Like a lot, a lot.
1487
01:14:51,333 --> 01:14:53,836
I just think you're cool, and I think you think I'm cool,
1488
01:14:53,919 --> 01:14:56,797
and that we're cool together. And it's cool that we
1489
01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:58,549
have this thing and
1490
01:14:58,841 --> 01:15:01,301
You know, I am not trying to make
1491
01:15:08,016 --> 01:15:10,394
God. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no.
1492
01:15:10,477 --> 01:15:12,688
Don't worry, I put it in a baggie like dog shit.
1493
01:15:13,147 --> 01:15:14,606
It's still pretty gross.
1494
01:15:14,690 --> 01:15:16,400
Ugh. Sorry.
1495
01:15:18,819 --> 01:15:19,695
Ugh.
1496
01:15:22,698 --> 01:15:25,701
Anyway, I'm really sorry about everything and
1497
01:15:27,828 --> 01:15:29,079
I hope that you can forgive me.
1498
01:15:29,997 --> 01:15:32,332
Yeah.
1499
01:15:36,795 --> 01:15:39,256
Come on down, babe. Let's go. Great.
1500
01:15:39,715 --> 01:15:40,674
One sec.
1501
01:15:41,717 --> 01:15:43,677
Why the fuck did I message Chad?
1502
01:15:45,596 --> 01:15:46,513
Come on. Let's go.
1503
01:15:47,848 --> 01:15:50,184
We're going to save Jeremy.
1504
01:15:52,811 --> 01:15:54,146
You guys coming or
1505
01:15:54,771 --> 01:15:57,774
What? So, my speech was good?
1506
01:15:58,192 --> 01:15:59,026
No.
1507
01:15:59,526 --> 01:16:02,196
But, hey, I think I got what you were trying to say.
1508
01:16:02,529 --> 01:16:06,074
You messed up. You're sorry. I deserve respect.
1509
01:16:06,492 --> 01:16:07,659
We like each other.
1510
01:16:08,702 --> 01:16:09,745
Yeah.
1511
01:16:10,078 --> 01:16:10,954
I got it.
1512
01:16:12,372 --> 01:16:15,876
Cool. Let's go get Jeremy his dick back.
1513
01:16:15,959 --> 01:16:18,170
Yeah! Whoo!
1514
01:16:20,005 --> 01:16:22,841
'Sup, babe? Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye.
1515
01:16:22,925 --> 01:16:25,719
'Sup, Chad? What the fuck? Are you serious?
1516
01:16:25,802 --> 01:16:27,262
I drove all the way out here!
1517
01:16:27,596 --> 01:16:28,847
Your loss, Becky.
1518
01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:32,184
I even got a fake ID so we could drink margaritas in Cancun.
1519
01:16:33,227 --> 01:16:35,187
Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car. What?
1520
01:16:35,270 --> 01:16:36,813
What? Stop the car. Stop.
1521
01:16:36,897 --> 01:16:38,649
I know how to find Jeremy. How?
1522
01:16:38,774 --> 01:16:40,943
Jeremy bought us booze on the drive out to the mountains.
1523
01:16:41,026 --> 01:16:41,985
So, what?
1524
01:16:42,069 --> 01:16:45,030
The military ID was the one in his wallet. His fake!
1525
01:16:45,113 --> 01:16:48,909
Oh! The hospital admitted him under the name on his fake ID.
1526
01:16:48,992 --> 01:16:52,162
Jack motherfucking Jessop!
1527
01:16:52,246 --> 01:16:53,413
What the fuck?
1528
01:16:53,497 --> 01:16:55,123
Holy shit. I'm calling it in.
1529
01:16:55,207 --> 01:16:58,126
Which hospital? You said there were five. East General. The first place. East General Hospital?
1530
01:17:01,213 --> 01:17:05,509
Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop, please?
1531
01:17:05,634 --> 01:17:06,552
One moment.
1532
01:17:13,225 --> 01:17:14,685
And connecting you now.
1533
01:17:14,768 --> 01:17:17,145
Yes. Yes! No, yes!
1534
01:17:19,815 --> 01:17:21,066
Just relax.
1535
01:17:22,109 --> 01:17:23,569
And count back from 100.
1536
01:17:23,652 --> 01:17:25,904
We'll be back shortly to take you into the OR.
1537
01:17:34,663 --> 01:17:37,124
Hello? Jeremy!
1538
01:17:37,207 --> 01:17:38,083
Jeremy!
1539
01:17:38,166 --> 01:17:40,711
Becky, where are you guys? They're trying to sew up my nub.
1540
01:17:40,794 --> 01:17:43,547
No, no, no! Tell them no. We're gonna be there soon, okay?
1541
01:17:43,630 --> 01:17:45,132
Please tell me you have my peepee.
1542
01:17:45,215 --> 01:17:46,341
We have it!
1543
01:17:46,425 --> 01:17:49,136
Yes. Please, I just want my peepee back.
1544
01:17:49,219 --> 01:17:51,972
Stop calling it your peepee. The doctor, Becky.
1545
01:17:52,723 --> 01:17:54,474
He said it's too late.
1546
01:17:54,975 --> 01:17:58,395
They pumped me with a lot of drugs, and now they're taking me to surgery.
1547
01:17:58,478 --> 01:18:00,480
Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
1548
01:18:00,564 --> 01:18:01,565
Don't. Hold off.
1549
01:18:01,648 --> 01:18:04,443
Nurse. Nurse. We're gonna be there really soon.
1550
01:18:04,526 --> 01:18:07,279
Do not let them take you into surgery. Hi, Grandpa.
1551
01:18:09,239 --> 01:18:10,741
Oh, shit. We gotta go.
1552
01:18:11,408 --> 01:18:13,243
Yeah, we gotta. We gotta go. We gotta go.
1553
01:18:16,204 --> 01:18:20,626
Oh! He is out. Let's get him into surgery.
1554
01:18:21,710 --> 01:18:23,462
Say nightnight to The Danish Girl.
1555
01:18:31,637 --> 01:18:32,554
Let's go!
1556
01:18:34,097 --> 01:18:34,973
Come on!
1557
01:18:40,145 --> 01:18:44,066
" Oops, I did it again"
1558
01:18:44,149 --> 01:18:49,488
" I played with your heart Got lost in the game"
1559
01:18:49,821 --> 01:18:51,573
" Oh, baby, baby"
1560
01:18:51,657 --> 01:18:55,035
" Oops, you think I'm in love"
1561
01:18:55,577 --> 01:18:59,915
" That I'm sent from above"
1562
01:18:59,998 --> 01:19:03,210
" I'm not that innocent"
1563
01:19:05,212 --> 01:19:08,924
" Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah "
1564
01:19:09,007 --> 01:19:10,300
No!
1565
01:19:10,425 --> 01:19:14,763
" Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah "
1566
01:19:15,347 --> 01:19:18,225
" I think I did it again "
1567
01:19:18,809 --> 01:19:21,353
" I made you believe"
1568
01:19:21,436 --> 01:19:24,022
" We're more than just friends"
1569
01:19:24,690 --> 01:19:29,611
" Oh, baby It might seem like a crush"
1570
01:19:29,695 --> 01:19:31,488
" But that doesn't mean"
1571
01:19:31,571 --> 01:19:35,575
Hey, stop those kids! " That I'm serious "
1572
01:19:35,659 --> 01:19:40,997
" 'Cause to lose all my senses"
1573
01:19:41,081 --> 01:19:44,835
" That is just so typically me"
1574
01:19:45,502 --> 01:19:46,920
" Ooh, baby, baby "
1575
01:19:47,003 --> 01:19:50,841
" Oops, I did it again" Crash the boards!
1576
01:19:50,924 --> 01:19:53,051
" I played with your heart"
1577
01:19:53,510 --> 01:19:55,971
" Got lost in the game"
1578
01:19:56,054 --> 01:19:57,681
" Oh, baby, baby"
1579
01:19:57,764 --> 01:20:00,642
" Oops, you think I'm in love"
1580
01:20:00,726 --> 01:20:01,768
Yes!
1581
01:20:01,852 --> 01:20:05,313
" Got sent from above"
1582
01:20:05,397 --> 01:20:08,567
" I'm not that innocent"
1583
01:20:09,025 --> 01:20:11,027
" Yeah, yeah "
1584
01:20:11,695 --> 01:20:14,072
" Yeah, yeah "
1585
01:20:14,322 --> 01:20:18,452
" Yeah, oh! "
1586
01:20:18,535 --> 01:20:21,455
" I'm not that innocent"
1587
01:20:22,289 --> 01:20:28,420
Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick!
1588
01:20:36,136 --> 01:20:37,012
Oh, shit.
1589
01:20:40,682 --> 01:20:43,185
Um, excuse me?
1590
01:20:47,481 --> 01:20:48,899
I think this belongs to him.
1591
01:20:59,201 --> 01:21:03,538
Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out when you tried to ask what our deal was.
1592
01:21:07,375 --> 01:21:09,711
But if you're still interested, maybe we could DTR sometime.
1593
01:21:09,795 --> 01:21:10,670
Yes.
1594
01:21:11,713 --> 01:21:13,298
What? Yeah. No, yeah.
1595
01:21:13,381 --> 01:21:15,383
That was a really quick answer. What?
1596
01:21:15,467 --> 01:21:16,343
That'd be cool.
1597
01:21:18,178 --> 01:21:20,430
I can't wait, Sarah.
1598
01:21:23,642 --> 01:21:24,559
Me too, Donnie.
1599
01:21:28,522 --> 01:21:30,816
Just to clarify, we're talking about "dick to rim,"
1600
01:21:30,899 --> 01:21:32,692
not "define the relationship," right?
1601
01:21:36,655 --> 01:21:37,572
I'm kidding.
1602
01:21:43,912 --> 01:21:46,665
Well, this is probably my last moment of freedom.
1603
01:21:46,748 --> 01:21:48,959
As I'll be grounded for the rest of my life.
1604
01:21:49,251 --> 01:21:51,294
I'm really sorry your parents are gonna kill you.
1605
01:21:51,378 --> 01:21:52,712
Oh, no. It's fine.
1606
01:21:52,796 --> 01:21:56,091
I mean, the rest of this year is gonna be super boring, anyway.
1607
01:21:56,633 --> 01:21:58,677
Someone I know is going back to Germany.
1608
01:22:07,143 --> 01:22:09,020
Uh nope. Oh.
1609
01:22:09,354 --> 01:22:11,273
Uh, I'm sorry, I just
1610
01:22:12,232 --> 01:22:15,443
I just remembered that you had my brother's dick in your mouth earlier.
1611
01:22:16,611 --> 01:22:18,154
Uh, so maybe
1612
01:22:19,281 --> 01:22:20,198
maybe we should wait.
1613
01:22:20,782 --> 01:22:21,950
Okay, yeah.
1614
01:22:22,033 --> 01:22:22,951
That makes sense.
1615
01:22:23,034 --> 01:22:25,161
Totally makes sense. I'm on board. Cool.
1616
01:22:30,041 --> 01:22:31,459
Don't. Oh.
1617
01:22:31,543 --> 01:22:33,670
Still got dick lips. Still Yeah.
1618
01:22:33,753 --> 01:22:36,006
Dick mouth. Yeah.
1619
01:22:37,507 --> 01:22:39,801
Can you smell the dick? Okay. No. No, no, no.
1620
01:22:39,885 --> 01:22:41,887
It's just the image of it. Yeah. Right.
1621
01:22:58,528 --> 01:23:02,032
Jesus. What do you have in here? I got a lot of stuff. I got books.
1622
01:23:02,115 --> 01:23:03,199
Books on what?
1623
01:23:03,283 --> 01:23:05,994
Books on Germany. Don't they have those books in Germany?
1624
01:23:06,620 --> 01:23:09,289
All right, this is it. Yeah.
1625
01:23:10,498 --> 01:23:12,709
Really think your brother's gonna miss you, bro.
1626
01:23:12,834 --> 01:23:14,628
Yeah, I know what you mean.
1627
01:23:14,711 --> 01:23:16,671
Make it stop!
1628
01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:19,049
Make it stop! What the fuck? Seriously? Again?
1629
01:23:19,132 --> 01:23:20,133
It's so good! Stop!
1630
01:23:20,592 --> 01:23:23,094
You have to protect your WiFi, Mr. Floyd.
1631
01:23:23,178 --> 01:23:25,430
I don't know how!
1632
01:23:25,513 --> 01:23:28,016
Turn it off, man.
1633
01:23:28,558 --> 01:23:30,143
What? Is this my ride?
1634
01:23:30,226 --> 01:23:32,103
What? What is this thing?
1635
01:23:35,607 --> 01:23:37,192
Hey. Hey.
1636
01:23:37,901 --> 01:23:39,903
Ready to go? Yeah! Oh, yeah.
1637
01:23:40,028 --> 01:23:41,655
Sean, good luck finishing rehab.
1638
01:23:42,197 --> 01:23:43,823
Ha! Thank you.
1639
01:23:45,283 --> 01:23:47,285
I know I said I'd drive you to the airport, just us,
1640
01:23:47,369 --> 01:23:49,287
but someone got out of the hospital early.
1641
01:24:01,508 --> 01:24:02,801
What's up?
1642
01:24:03,259 --> 01:24:04,177
Dude!
1643
01:24:04,260 --> 01:24:05,720
Cool. That's so sick.
1644
01:24:05,804 --> 01:24:06,930
What's up, dogs?
1645
01:24:07,013 --> 01:24:09,849
Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him
1646
01:24:09,933 --> 01:24:11,851
a wheelchair van.
1647
01:24:11,935 --> 01:24:15,522
It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking just rascaling around the house.
1648
01:24:15,605 --> 01:24:17,482
Heh. I cut my dick off.
1649
01:24:17,565 --> 01:24:20,026
Fucking pimp, right? I look like Professor X.
1650
01:24:20,193 --> 01:24:21,486
"Scott, you're a chump.
1651
01:24:21,653 --> 01:24:24,364
Logan's been tapping Jean since day one."
1652
01:24:24,739 --> 01:24:25,949
Oh, yeah.
1653
01:24:26,032 --> 01:24:29,619
Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall about Sing my D.
1654
01:24:29,703 --> 01:24:32,414
She's already pissed she can't be riding this dragon, you feel?
1655
01:24:32,914 --> 01:24:35,041
Right, yeah, she would be pissed if she were real.
1656
01:24:43,675 --> 01:24:45,135
Hey, guys. I'm Kendall.
1657
01:24:45,218 --> 01:24:48,346
Jennersss.
1658
01:24:49,180 --> 01:24:51,933
Thanks for making sure Little J made his way back home.
1659
01:24:52,017 --> 01:24:54,102
Little J. Oh, our pleasure.
1660
01:24:54,269 --> 01:24:57,230
She calls it Little J? Disgusting. I gotta give you two kisses.
1661
01:24:57,313 --> 01:24:59,482
Okay. Two more kisses, but just two. Okay.
1662
01:25:00,734 --> 01:25:03,319
Kendall, I told you just two! You're gonna rip the stitches.
1663
01:25:03,403 --> 01:25:05,113
I'm sorry, I just love you so much.
1664
01:25:05,196 --> 01:25:06,781
Why did you fuck with the ramp?
1665
01:25:06,906 --> 01:25:09,034
You gotta get back in. We're going to the airport.
1666
01:25:09,659 --> 01:25:10,702
Fuck me! All right, yeah.
1667
01:25:10,785 --> 01:25:12,370
Let's get back in the van. Come on.
1668
01:25:12,454 --> 01:25:13,747
Nice meeting you guys.
1669
01:25:13,830 --> 01:25:15,582
Get back in the van. Let's roll.
1670
01:25:15,665 --> 01:25:17,542
Okay. You got this. Come on, babe.
1671
01:25:17,625 --> 01:25:21,337
Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy his Frankenpeen when it's healed.
1672
01:25:21,463 --> 01:25:23,298
Frankenpeen's funny.
1673
01:25:23,381 --> 01:25:25,258
Good, right? Come on. Keep it up.
1674
01:25:25,341 --> 01:25:26,259
I love you, babe.
1675
01:25:26,426 --> 01:25:28,970
I love you too, babe. #metoo, babe.
1676
01:25:29,054 --> 01:25:33,641
So, I could drive you to soccer practice if you wanted.
1677
01:25:34,476 --> 01:25:35,310
Yeah.
1678
01:25:35,810 --> 01:25:38,021
Maybe we can stop by the church parking lot on the way.
1679
01:25:38,563 --> 01:25:42,942
Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you?
1680
01:25:43,026 --> 01:25:45,070
Little bit. Yeah, it's strange.
1681
01:25:45,862 --> 01:25:46,738
All right.
1682
01:25:47,238 --> 01:25:48,865
So I wanted to
1683
01:25:49,240 --> 01:25:50,492
give you something
1684
01:25:50,575 --> 01:25:54,329
when I dropped you off at the airport, but now we got these two tagging along.
1685
01:25:54,412 --> 01:25:55,371
Ah, bummer.
1686
01:25:55,455 --> 01:25:59,834
Yeah, but what I wanted to give you was, um
1687
01:26:01,294 --> 01:26:02,378
Give you this.
1688
01:26:03,213 --> 01:26:04,422
Oh.
1689
01:26:04,547 --> 01:26:06,007
The Fuck King.
1690
01:26:06,091 --> 01:26:08,468
What is the Fuck King without his condom crown?
1691
01:26:08,551 --> 01:26:10,470
Wow. Returns.
1692
01:26:10,553 --> 01:26:13,973
Mmhmm. I don't know I don't know why I
1693
01:26:14,057 --> 01:26:15,016
Right, yeah.
1694
01:26:20,772 --> 01:26:22,398
Oh, my God.
1695
01:26:23,316 --> 01:26:25,276
You know we can see you, right?
1696
01:26:26,653 --> 01:26:30,073
Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister pretty hard right now.
1697
01:26:30,156 --> 01:26:32,784
What? Hold on. I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Hold up.
1698
01:26:32,867 --> 01:26:34,619
You know he had a dick in his mouth?
1699
01:26:34,702 --> 01:26:37,080
Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, I'll have a dick in mine.
1700
01:26:39,707 --> 01:26:41,876
What? What? Really?
1701
01:26:42,710 --> 01:26:43,586
No.
1702
01:26:44,879 --> 01:26:45,797
Great. Thanks.
1703
01:26:46,506 --> 01:26:48,007
" If I was one of the good ones "
1704
01:26:48,091 --> 01:26:50,301
Yo, can you see them? I can't, babe.
1705
01:26:50,385 --> 01:26:51,427
I gotta get out.
1706
01:26:51,511 --> 01:26:53,805
Becky! Go, Sean. Take it horizontal.
1707
01:26:53,888 --> 01:26:57,142
Stop making out with him! Okay, I'll just do it myself.
1708
01:26:57,225 --> 01:26:58,935
Oh, my God. He's gonna get a boner.
1709
01:26:59,102 --> 01:27:00,603
Yeah!
1710
01:27:02,272 --> 01:27:03,606
Babe? Wait.
1711
01:27:03,690 --> 01:27:05,859
Jeremy! Get back in the car.
1712
01:27:05,984 --> 01:27:08,611
Jeremy, get back in the car. You're gonna get dirty.
1713
01:27:08,695 --> 01:27:10,572
Get it, Becky! This is her choice.
1714
01:27:10,655 --> 01:27:12,615
Jeremy, it's not like you can't walk.
1715
01:27:12,699 --> 01:27:15,869
Your legs are fine. What are you doing? Oh, my God!
1716
01:27:16,035 --> 01:27:18,037
Hips! Use those hips, girl!
1717
01:27:18,121 --> 01:27:21,291
Jeremy, stop being so fucking weird. It's your sister.
1718
01:27:21,374 --> 01:27:23,668
Oh, my God, babe. How's Little J?
1719
01:27:24,419 --> 01:27:27,255
Oh, my God. I'm gonna grab my own ass.
1720
01:27:27,338 --> 01:27:29,465
And then, Becky, tell me if you feel it, too.
1721
01:27:29,549 --> 01:27:32,844
There's no twin connection, dude. Oh, here we go.
1722
01:27:32,927 --> 01:27:33,970
It's beautiful.
1723
01:27:34,053 --> 01:27:37,432
I thought it'd be weird to watch your best friend make out, but
1724
01:27:38,308 --> 01:27:39,350
I'm getting into it.
1725
01:27:39,726 --> 01:27:43,021
You guys, this is awesome. But I think I fucked up my stitches.
1726
01:27:43,104 --> 01:27:45,857
I told you to be careful. Let's cut to the music.
1727
01:27:45,940 --> 01:27:49,110
" I miss my dick, dick, dick "
1728
01:27:49,194 --> 01:27:52,614
" I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick, dick, yeah "
1729
01:27:52,697 --> 01:27:55,867
" Dragon shirt, camping best Merrell boots, they're the best "
1730
01:27:55,950 --> 01:27:59,329
" Lauryn Hill swaggin', playin' suckers Like a game of chess"
1731
01:27:59,412 --> 01:28:02,624
" Pants sagging, cargo pocket Packing heat, no Smith & Wes"
1732
01:28:02,707 --> 01:28:05,877
" Mess with the balisong Let's take a trip and ride along"
1733
01:28:05,960 --> 01:28:09,214
" Bags packed, I got the bong Cheefing on some Tommy Chong"
1734
01:28:09,297 --> 01:28:12,592
" Oh, my God, what is wrong? I think I chopped my fucking dong"
1735
01:28:12,675 --> 01:28:15,803
" Yeah, it's true if you ain't noticed 6'1", two balls with no dick"
1736
01:28:15,887 --> 01:28:19,224
" What the fuck, I don't deserve this Chopped my dick, not on purpose"
1737
01:28:19,307 --> 01:28:22,268
" And Sean is out here nature twerking"
1738
01:28:22,352 --> 01:28:25,563
" Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad Becky's pissed at Mom and Dad"
1739
01:28:25,647 --> 01:28:29,067
" Trying to throw a party After breaking up with fucking Chad"
1740
01:28:29,150 --> 01:28:32,278
" Now I'm here with no dick I pray to God and still no dick"
1741
01:28:32,362 --> 01:28:35,156
" I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit "
1742
01:28:35,240 --> 01:28:38,409
" I can still smoke weed I can still get lit"
1743
01:28:38,493 --> 01:28:41,663
" And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic"
1744
01:28:41,746 --> 01:28:45,124
" All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick"
1745
01:28:45,208 --> 01:28:48,253
" I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick "
1746
01:28:48,336 --> 01:28:50,588
" I miss my dick, dick " " I miss my dick I miss my dick"
1747
01:28:53,007 --> 01:28:54,759
" Dick, dick, yeah "
1748
01:28:54,842 --> 01:28:58,346
" I miss my dick, dick, dick "
1749
01:28:58,972 --> 01:29:02,016
" Balls wrapped in rubber bands Ready to die just like a cramp"
1750
01:29:02,100 --> 01:29:05,395
" Dead lobster, helicopter Pick me up, went to the hospital"
1751
01:29:05,478 --> 01:29:08,439
" Doctor says, "Impossible I have to sew your Popsicle" "
1752
01:29:08,523 --> 01:29:11,609
" Life is full of obstacles But this shit can't be possible"
1753
01:29:11,693 --> 01:29:14,862
" Like the way I lost my dick Doctor says too late, can't fix"
1754
01:29:14,946 --> 01:29:18,074
" Tell me, how could it be like this? Yo, dog, think of something quick "
1755
01:29:18,157 --> 01:29:21,828
" Tell me how am I gonna fuck my bitch How am I gonna live life without my dick"
1756
01:29:21,911 --> 01:29:24,455
" Can I get a boner? Organ donors? Put me on a wait list"
1757
01:29:24,539 --> 01:29:26,624
" Doc says face it I tried to tell you once "
1758
01:29:26,708 --> 01:29:28,751
" I don't wanna tell you twice "
1759
01:29:28,835 --> 01:29:30,378
" Major case of blue balls cooking"
1760
01:29:30,461 --> 01:29:33,631
" I'll be cumming rice By the time I get it back"
1761
01:29:33,715 --> 01:29:35,341
" Too late now, it's in his hands"
1762
01:29:35,425 --> 01:29:38,678
" Homies punked a redneck They said, "Nah, boy, you getting jack""
1763
01:29:38,761 --> 01:29:41,556
" I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit "
1764
01:29:41,639 --> 01:29:44,851
" I can still smoke weed I can still get lit"
1765
01:29:44,934 --> 01:29:48,104
" And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic"
1766
01:29:48,187 --> 01:29:51,316
" All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick"
1767
01:29:51,399 --> 01:29:52,400
" I miss my dick "
1768
01:29:52,483 --> 01:29:56,112
I miss my dick. I wish it was here. " I miss my dick "
1769
01:29:56,195 --> 01:29:59,741
I dunno, I might grow a beard, " I miss my dick "
1770
01:29:59,824 --> 01:30:04,037
I might start playing World of Warcraft. " I miss my dick "
129364
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