All language subtitles for 2_English 2036

Previously,
on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills"...

Y'all, look.
It's so mucky.

This is straight mud, girl.

That's it. Thank you.

Oh, thanks so much.

Refill it.
Thank you.

I understand that
your liquor level was

beyond at my birthday party.
- Yes.

But there's gotta
be a balance

of the meds and the cocktails.

I was surprised
you told everybody

about your eating disorder.

I always felt
like the ugly kid.

You wanna be a mother----er.

She told me
I was mother----er.

- What?
- Yeah. You translate that

as I

That's stupid.

I'm here to make peace.

I was trying to give
you benefit of the doubt.

She's been clumsy
with the words,

but I actually have
changed my mind.

I actually think you
mean what you said.

♪

I don't need the spotlight.

I shine just fine.

Hi, I'm Karma,

and yes, I am a bitch.

You can take all my things,

and you won't have taken
a thing that matters.

The only thing better
than having it all

is having even more.

If you want a seat
at my table,

you best mind your manners.

They say talk is cheap,

but in Beverly Hills,
it can cost you.

I have nothing to hide
and nothing to lose,

and that makes me dangerous.

When you're the real deal,

you don't have to pretend.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

What are you doing?

Rinna, I was like, oh, my
God. What--I can call you back.

Thank God, honey.

Just when you think you're
done with COVID, Omicron comes.

Now Lisa, Erika, and
Garcelle all have COVID.

Luckily, I've managed to
dodge the bullet...

this time.

- So you're going to Kyle's.
- For luncheon, yeah.

I'm gonna leave soon.

Well, it should
be interesting.

Let me know about
all the gossip.

- I will.
- Muah. Bye-bye, love.

Bye, baby. Bye.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Yeah, yeah, hey

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪

You look so
gorgeous and stunning.

- Hello, dear.
- How are you? Muah.

Let's come in here.
- Ohh.

I'm the most unrelaxed
human being you've ever--

- Why?
- 'Cause I just colored

my gray roots. I--
- I'm gonna check.

Let me just--
- No, you--

- I just wanna see...
- My skin is dyed.

- If we got all of them.
- My skin is dyed.

I'm running around
like a chicken.

My gate has rang
4 million times.

Any gray?

I couldn't give
a sh--about your gray hair.

Muah.

I couldn't give a
about your gray hair.

I know, I know, I know.

All I care
about is your heart.

Thank you. Muah.

I'm so excited.
- That's all I care about.

It's why I'm here.
- I'm so excited.

You're--I'm not here
because of your hair.

- I know.
- I'm not here because

of your pretty house,
although it is beautiful.

You're gonna make me look
bad, you've never seen it.

I'm not here for any other
reason except your heart.

I've known Jamie Lee Curtis
since 1978,

when we did the first original
"Halloween" movie together.

She's been a movie star
for over 40 years,

and yet,
she is so down-to-Earth

and so kindhearted
and thoughtful.

So this is Diana.

Let's put Diana here.

- This is Sutton.
- Sutton here.

And Sutton here, OK.

Over the years,
Jamie had reached out

to me to do charity work

for Children's Hospital
Los Angeles.

Kyle and Mauricio have
joined the First Families

at Children's Hospital of
Los Angeles, which is a very

specific level of giving.

I spoke with Lyndsay
at Children's Hospital.

- Yeah.
- And they're building a new

building and all of that.

They're building
a new building?

Yeah, and a whole play area
for the kids and everything.

So I was asking her
to get back to me

with information about
that because, I mean,

that's such a great
opportunity to do...

- It's perfect.
- Such amazing things.

- Perfect, perfect.
- Jamie founded

this company called
My Hand in Yours,

where 100% of the proceeds
go to Children's Hospital.

So today I wanted
to help support Jamie

with a fundraiser.

Where should we sit?
- Where's the light good?

- I know.
- When I used to go

into business meetings...
- What--

I would walk in the room,

and I would immediately look
where I'm lit well,

and I would sit there.

And it didn't matter if it
was, like, a person's desk.

I'd be like, "No, no, no.

I'm gonna to sit here."
They're like,

"Well, that's my desk."

It's like, "Yeah, that's good."

I'm gonna sit right here

because I'm gonna
look really good...

- Right?
- In this--

We're not stupid.
We know what we're doing.

I mean--

Hello.

both: Hi.
- It's Diana.

- Hi, Diana.
- Hi.

- I'm Jamie.
- How are you?

- Hi.
- Nice meeting you.

Lovely to meet you.

Well, hello.

- I'm Jamie.
- Hi, Jamie.

Oh, no hug?

- Oh, I'll hug. I do--
- I like to hug.

Listen, in the world today,
I just don't know anymore.

You know, you don't--
- Hi, Diana.

You don't extend yourself.

Well, then I'm
going to hug you.

I'm a hugger.

Come here.

- Hello.
- Hi, how are you?

- Oh.
- Hi, ladies.

I'm Jamie.
- I'm Crystal.

Jamie, Crystal, Sutton.

- I'm Sutton.
- Hi, Sutton.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, ladies.

You look cute.

I am so not in
a mood for Sutton.

Not at all.

Oh, we're only
missing Dorit now.

- Oh.
- Three of our friends

are sick right now.
- Hard times.

- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Jamie.

I'm gonna hug you.
- Oh.

- Are we hugging?
- We're hugging.

Jamie Lee Curtis!
Oh, my God!

- Hi.
- Good to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Look, aren't you
good to bring--

here, I'll put them by
the Christmas tree.

- Perfect.
- I know where they go.

Hello?

Am I here?
Is this real?

Ladies, are we ready
to go into lunch?

Yes.

Oh, this looks
really pretty, Kyle.

Wow.

I mean, we're really blending
in with the whole decor.

Yes, you and I have
made really good choices.

We have.
I mean, this is good.

- And look...
- I know.

- If you had given me this--
- Well, I'm sorry, but--

Would you like it?
- No. Thank you, though.

- There's lipstick in there.
- But look, this would

have been such a good--
- This is--it's good.

Except I have too
many animal prints.

Is this Dolce?

It is old Alexander Wang.

Like--
- Oh, God.

OK, Sutton, you
are right over there.

- Kyle?
- Yes.

- Really?
- Which?

Nothing.

Let's put Diana here.

- This is Sutton.
- Sutton here.

And Sutton here, OK.

I have Diana right
next to Sutton.

But let's be honest,

she's gonna have an issue
with someone somewhere.

OK, why don't we switch with--
sorry.

Here, Diana, you're next to me.

- At this end of the table.
- Yeah.

This isn't you. Oh, no.
It's Sheree.

She just switched.

That'll be...better.

I'm learning a lot already.

I know.

Yeah.

She's trying to
make a run for it.

For entrée,
you have a choice,

the branzino or
the filet mignon.

Oh, branzino, please.

Oh, I will have
the branzino, actually.

Branzino, please.

OK.

I'm gonna to put
it on the lash.

- OK.
- OK.

- I'm just not--
- No, wait--uh--

You gluing my eye shut,
woman?

I am so into this.
You have no idea.

Oh, gosh.
Wait, wait, wait.

both: Shut up.
- Wait.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, it came out
in a big glob.

Oh!

That is sabotage.

- I can't stand you!
- It is not sabotage!

This has now become
a medical emergency.

- Wait, wait. Stop.
- No!

Oh, this is all bad.

- Listen, listen.
- Hey, hey. Back off.

Sutton, get
your hand off her.

She has glue everywhere.

Aunt Jamie's got it
under control.

- Thank you, Auntie Jamie.
- Hold on.

And thank you, Sutton,
because I got your lash on.

No thank you, Sutton.

You're loving this.

- OK.
- Am I good?

- You're good.
- Why do I feel--

like, my eye feels funny, though.

I heard that you had
lunch with Sutton.

How'd it go?

You cut me deep.

And if I told you right now...
- Yeah.

It's all good,
it would be fake.

♪

It's the truth.
I did, like, exfoliate.

♪

Coming up...

Why are you always in
trouble? What's that about?

Because I say what I think.

How's that
working out for you?

♪

♪

We are just so happy
to be with you.

Thank you. That's sweet of
you, Dorit. Thank you.

This looks so good.
Thank you.

This is gorgeous.

So why don't I talk about why
I'm here while you guys eat?

By the way, everything
that I'm showing you

is on myhandinyours.com.

The My Hand in Yours tumblers.

A really yummy--
- It keeps things hot

and cold and--
- Hot and cold.

Amazing.

We have the My Hand in
Yours license plate holder.

Whoa!

- We have a wind chime...
- Oh, a wind chime.

Of My Hand in Yours.

Jamie, let me just say
that is the chicest wind chime

I have ever seen.
- Thank you, darling.

Jamie has found herself
a new best friend in Dorit.

She's really going over the top
with her love for these items.

Then this dog leash.

Stop it right now.

And we put a My Paw in Yours
dog tag on.

And he manufactured this...
- I mean, honestly.

- And designed it.
- Incredible.

A lavender candle.

It's very chic.

These are the hats.

So chic.

Little snugglies.

Really very chic.

At this point,
Jamie Lee Curtis

could show Dorit a dirty old
tissue, and she would say,

"So chic! Oh, my God!"

- That's the end of my spiel.
- Aww.

Yay!

I love you. Muah.

- Thank you.
- We love it all.

I was talking to Children's
Hospital Los Angeles,

and I decided
to give $25,000

to the Kyle Richards
and Jamie Lee Curtis Fund.

- Aw.
- At Children's?

- At Children's Hospital.
- That's beautiful.

We'll have our
little fund together.

Yeah!

Jamie, Jamie,
Diana is matching my 25,

just so you know.

She's matching it.
- Wow!

I am.

I am so grateful.

But now I'm thinking,

should I have said
a higher number?

- I just didn't know if I--
- That is so beyond,

and I really thank you so much.
- I'm so sorry for--

I'm so excited
about my gift bag.

I cannot even tell you.

Use it all in good health.

Thank you for
giving us opportunity

of being part of it.

Kyle, thank you.
This is beautiful.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, my darling.

Thank you for
having me for lunch.

Oh, my God, that
food was so good.

- No, it was amazing.
- All right, ladies.

I'm gonna leave.
- Aw.

Good luck to you.

Oh, thank you.

Good luck to you.

- You're amazing.
- And thank you for helping us

have a really great start
to our Jamie and Kyle Fund...

- This was a lovely day.
- For Children's Hospital.

- Yes, that's crazy.
- Yes.

I'll be right back, ladies.

Peace, everybody.

Happy holidays.
Stay safe.

I'm in menopause.

I can't sit next
to this fireplace.

- Oh, my gosh, I love it.
- Are you kidding me?

Do you wanna
switch with me?

I love it.
- Yes.

I'm freezing.

Let's get a drink. Come on.

Oh, my God,
that food was so good.

Hi, guys.

♪

You had lunch with...
- Diana.

- Diana.
- Mm-hmm.

And?

She's angry.

I was saying that I'm sorry
that you were on bed rest.

Yes, I was.

You are the fakest person
I've ever met in my life,

literally.

Why you always in trouble?
What's that about?

- I don't know.
- What do you think?

Because I say what I think.

How's that
working out for you?

It's not working
out too good.

So then maybe
we should rethink.

I'm gonna be quiet.

I'm gonna just
sit and be quiet,

and then y'all
are gonna be sad.

I'm telling you.
We talked about this.

And then y'all are gonna
be like, "She not talking."

Let me tell you this,
'cause I understand

what you're saying,
but when you are bitchy to me

at one of my lowest moments,

that has a different weight.

But does it excuse mocking me
when I'm telling you

of some of my lowest moments?

- No.
- I wouldn't ever make fun

of somebody's miscarriage.
- You did.

- Well, you did.
- You questioned that

she was on bed rest.

So you're on bed
rest, but you're here.

So that's confusing.

You're gonna
have to clear it up.

Yeah.

Had you led with,
"I am really empathetic

and I've experienced this,"
I think you would have had

a different reaction from her.
- Absolutely.

We're all different people.

She hurt my
feelings terribly.

This is a pattern
with Sutton.

It's always about Sutton.

While you were going
through all this,

she posted a picture
drinking margaritas

saying "thirsty Thursday,"
and cheering, and, like,

having the time of her life.

If you can't see
your own mistakes,

you're gonna have
a lot of trouble.

Do you wanna try
and fix things?

I'm like...mm.

Oy, yoi, yoi, yoi, yoi.

I just have to give one
more hug and thank you.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you, girl.

Well, cheers to that.

- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.

- Cheer, cheer, cheers.
- Kyle, thank you so much.

Thank you.
Thank you.

This is a big deal
what you're doing.

To, like, speak out on,
it's a big deal.

You're making a lot of
difference for the kids.

And to donate your own money,
and give your time,

and everything is incredible.
- Thank you.

How are you doing?

- OK.
- How are you?

I saw what you
posted on Instagram

about your eating disorder.

I haven't quite nailed
down what causes it, like--

Is it more like you don't
have control, if things feel

out of control around you,
and that's

your way of controlling it?

Or is it more of
an appearance thing...

- I think...
- Where you're being

hard on yourself?
- Definitely, it's control.

I don't think it's
an appearance thing.

It's more of an
internal feeling.

The holidays can
be very triggering.

And the other day,
I was gonna post

this picture of the family.

And I remember feeling like
my stomach and my body,

and I just, like,
felt like crap.

And I decided to be just
super real and post about how

I was actually feeling.

- Are you binge eating?
- No. I don't binge.

- You don't binge eat.
- No.

So you eat very little.
And then the very little

you eat, you throw up.

Well, you're asking
the hard questions.

I'm asking just
because I know.

♪

When I was younger,
I had my own problems.

- Did you?
- Yeah. I would take V8 juice,

and put it in a bowl,
and heat it up.

And that was my food.

- Oh, my God.
- I weighed 99 pounds.

I would eat very
little and then

be worried about those
few little calories I had.

When I was younger, forgetting
on a public platform.

We didn't talk about it with
our friends or our family.

So Crystal posting this
on social media, to me,

it really seems like
a cry for help.

For me, it's
physically feeling

like I've overconsumed.

I wake up every morning
thinking about

everything I eat.

What would be something
that would make you feel bad?

Like, would you order pasta?

I will never order
pasta because...

- Wow.
- It'll trigger me.

And when I watch someone
that's eating it, I envy it.

My eating disorder
started when I was 11.

I remember every school picture
I was in the back row, always.

It's one thing to be
the tallest girl,

tallest kid in class,

but also looking different

as a minority just makes it
even that much more apparent.

And I worked very hard
to accept

how I look and--

appreciate it,
and it's still hard.

Physically being
in my body sucks.

- Why?
- Oh.

It just sucks. I feel ----ing
like sh-- all the time.

I'm so sorry.

And I'm just
exhausted from it.

I'm so sorry, love.

I know how much you
do love food, too.

Aww.

I'm gonna give you a hug.
- So sorry.

You're so gorgeous.
And you're--

and I know you know that.

I wanna eat a meal and, like,
be OK with it, you know?

I don't wanna, like, hate
what I'm eating every day.

I'm just exhausted.

Just--I'm so tired of it.

Yeah, the scariest thing about...

my eating disorder is that I'll
pass it to my kids.

I just don't ever want my kids
to, like, suffer this much.

It's just an ongoing battle.

Being so open
about it, for sure

you'll get there,
for a hundred percent.

- I want to.
- Have to--

Yeah, because it's like
the more you talk about it,

make it a more open thing...
- Get it out of your head.

So not be in your head.
- Exactly.

I just feel like--
'Cause it's you're so

in your head about it.

Because I went
through my own issues

with an eating disorder,
I have educated

myself and my daughters.

And I really made
a conscious effort

to make sure that
they never went

through what I went through.

Let's take our drinks over.

I feel like we've been gone
for a long time.

- OK, see.
- I don't have any makeup

on me, right?
- You look gorgeous.

Opening up and talking
about this on Instagram

actually can be a good thing

if she seeks help because
whatever she's doing so far

isn't helping her.

Hi, girls.

So what were you guys
talking about

when we were not in here,
I'm curious?

- Oh, my Lordy, have mercy.
- Their lunch?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

That's the truth.

- Well, anyway, that sounds--
- Awkward.

♪

Coming up...

Diana isn't ready
to accept anything.

She's right.

Well, what were you
guys talking about when

we were not in here,
I'm curious?

- Oh, my Lordy, have mercy.
- Their lunch?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

That's the truth.

- Well, anyway, that sounds--
- Awkward.

♪

Awkward.

I think that Diana
isn't ready to

kind of accept anything.

And--
- She's right.

What is "anything"?
What is--accept what?

Did you apologize?
- She doesn't--

Or do you
expect an apology?

I don't know any of that.
- No, no, no, no.

I--you know,
I'm done apologizing

because I've apologized.

I don't think
she's ready to even

ponder any kind of friendship.

I came to L.A.
because I did not

want to be in the space of--

by the way, my baby
was due very soon.

So--
- Oh.

And I did not want to
count the weeks to the birth.

So...
- Yeah.

I kind of flipped my
whole life upside-down

so I don't go
to that dark place.

So I ended up with the girls
in Mexico trying to have fun.

Unfortunately, I shouldn't
have done tequilas or anything

because it's a blood thinner.

The mistake of having glass
of champagne because all I

wanna do is sleep.
- So what would pick you up?

Glass of white wine.

And, you know, on the
way back in the plane,

I started bleeding again.

I was not happy with myself and
my treatment of my own body.

And maybe have sent
a little bit of rude message

to a group, but I'm
----ing doing my best.

That's all there was to it.

And so it started from there,
I guess, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I didn't--I thought
that it happened...

- A long--
- A while--not a long time ago.

I knew it was recent.
- I thought it was months.

I thought it was
six months ago.

I'm raw emotionally
and physically.

So Sutton behavior--
it was very hurtful.

And she should really
know better than talk

to me like this.

I was just trying to connect,
and I really was.

And it was an honest
approach to connect to you.

We've had a rough
and rocky start.

And I'm to blame for,
I'm gonna say, 95% of it.

Thank you.

Take all the time you need.

Take all the space you need.

And I'm here.

I'm happy to talk about it
with you privately, whatever.

- Thank you.
- OK?

- OK.
- Sutton, that was beautiful.

♪

- Hi!
- Hey.

How are you?
- I'm good.

How are you feeling?

Better.
You're, like, up and around.

I've been up a little bit.

I was just decorating
the tree 'cause I

haven't done any decorating.

But you look like
you feel normal.

Do I?
I don't feel quite normal.

How is everything with you?

I get out of this
isolation in two days.

So I'll see you Tuesday
at Diana's?

- Yeah, for sure I'm there.
- Great, great, great.

Can't wait.

Diana has a certain reputation

for doing things in a big way.

And I've had COVID,

so I'm ready for a Diana
Jenkins Christmas party,

for sure.

The holidays bring up
a lot of memories--

decorating the house,
and being with Tom and my son,

and, you know,
just all of that.

Like, how much
more can we take?

We can just keep
taking these punches

and rolling with them.

What else is there?

There's not much.

I said that with such
sincerity too, didn't I?

Oh, but, I mean,
that's what I'm saying.

We wake up, make the best
of it, and that's it.

it.
- Yes, I agree.

So Harry brought home
your "Los Angeles"

magazine cover.

I have not read it,
but it is in my kitchen.

- Please do.
- I will.

There are no
great revelations.

They're, like, 365 days late.

- Really? Oh, well.
- Yeah.

I mean, there's nothing there.

The "L.A." magazine article
is a recycling

of the same old problems.

They criticize me
for being ambitious.

But other than that, it's just
about the same old lawsuits

that were filed,
the same old controversy.

They dehumanize me.

It hurts, you know.
It hurts.

I think that it was a low
blow to call me ambitious

as, like, it was a slight.

- Right.
- Would it be better

if I were a lazy wife,

you know, or a polite wife,
or an in-her-place wife?

But instead, I'm an ambitious
one, and therefore, I am bad.

Have you talked
to Tom at all?

Yeah.
He heard I had COVID,

so he wanted to make sure
I was OK.

When Tom calls, sometimes
he's super present,

and sometimes he thinks
I'm someone else.

Nothing about
these conversations are good,

other than I know
that he's in a safe place.

But I also know what that
place means, you know,

memory care facility.

I've been down this road
with my grandmother.

Doesn't get better.

It only gets worse from here.

Now, let me ask you.

They've come out and said
that the brother's gonna

represent him in your divorce?

They just dropped their
divorce lawyer, probably

because they can't pay him.

And I'm imagining, you know.
- Oh.

He's probably expensive.
But also too, like,

I can't
get a divorce right now.

Like, I'm legally separated.

So my life has moved on,
and everything is separate.

But I can't get
a divorce right now.

There's so much legal
sh-- going on.

It's ironic, but if I was
divorced from Tom,

I'd have to
pay him alimony.

I'll stay married, thanks.

Well, it's always
something, it seems.

Yeah, it's a weird time,
and I'm really

ready for it to be over.

Coming up...

Trying to get
in touch with you

is like trying to
pull a hemorrhoid out

of a bull's tush.

Where's your phone?

I've lost it.

♪

- Hi, guys.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- How are you?

I'll give you a
little elbow bump.

Here you go.
- Oh, yeah, I know.

Right?
- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.
- The new high five.

Yeah. We're gonna be doing
just a little something

for the front entryway, right?

Just warm it up and make
it feel a little bit more,

like, Christmas and cozy.
- Should we take a look at it

just to kind of just--yeah.
- Yeah, let's go.

We're just thinking,
like, the stairs, right?

- Yeah.
- Dressing this just so that

at least we know we're
entering into a holiday party.

Yeah, so if you are--
this is your home,

and it's Christmas.

Let's have a little bit of fun
and a little bit of warmth.

- Yeah, for sure, for sure.
- Yeah.

Growing up in Yugoslavia,

we did not
celebrate Christmas.

It was communism,
so no religious holidays

of any kinds were allowed.

The first time I've seen
the beauty of Christmas

was when I got to London.

They really light up
those streets beautifully.

It's so festive.

This is a definitely
party house.

Now I enjoy turning my house
in Beverly Hills into

winter wonderland.

And I go over the top,
for sure.

We just open up these doors.

And the people come out,
and it's a little bit more--

I do love this backyard.

Where did you want
to put the bar?

You could lose all this
and put the bar here.

- The bar here.
- You know?

I would not lose any
of it 'cause you don't have

an outdoor furniture.
- No, babe.

No one's gonna be laying down.
- You don't know that.

- Yeah, but I'm saying, this--
- The alcohol, I don't know.

- Can't you see a little--
- Maybe be there, you know?

Can't you see a deck
where people come and--

All right, we'll
just reposition in.

We all lose any of it.
- Yeah.

But I think Asher's
onto something, too.

No, no, no, because
they grab a drink,

and then they can
sit over there.

- So you grab a drink up here.
- You can cheat it up.

- A little bit, yeah.
- Yeah.

Despite the fact that Asher
is so much younger than me,

he's actually the one
that is practical one

and more sensible one.

I am a much bigger dreamer.

And I'm over the top.

Like, I don't think anybody
can match my over-the-topness.

I'm assuming all the trees
will be spread, like,

trees just everywhere.
- Yeah.

- All right.
- Yeah.

- I think we're good.
- Now we gotta go and do it.

♪

Oh my God.
I'm a mess.

All right.

OK.

♪

Paola, we have the
little pearl spoons?

- Yes.
- OK, that's perfect.

Oh, Paola, that's
enough for an elephant.

I'm never gonna eat that much. Look.

♪

OK.

- Kathy?
- All right.

There you are. Hi.
- Oh, my God.

It's literally
a winter wonderland.

- Thank you.
- Muah, muah. How you feeling?

Good?
- Feeling good.

It's so warm today.

How do you deal with this?
- I'm freezing.

I know. You say that to me
every time I wear this sweater.

I need to look at this.
Hold on.

- OK.
- Oh, my God, Kathy.

I feel like such
an underachiever.

And I want you
to see in here.

I did this for
"Architectural Digest,"

which comes out on the 23rd.

- Oh, my God.
- So look at how cute.

This one's not lit up,
but this is

a tree.

- Oh, my God.
- That's all vintage fabric.

Kathy has a different
style Christmas tree

in every single room, and I
think it's up year-round.

You're not doing
your big Christmas thing

this year, right?
- No, I just felt like

after the wedding
and everything

it was just...
- I know.

I know what you mean.
- Too much.

This is so pretty.

With our little
holiday linens.

- What's happening?
- Oh, my God.

- I need to order--
- You need to order right now?

No, I wanna order.
When can we order?

No.

Well, first of all, trying
to get in touch with you

is like trying to
pull a hemorrhoid

out of a bull's tush.

Me? What about your--

No, I've called,
like, a million times.

- Wait, where's your phone?
- And I didn't change

my number.
- Where's your phone?

- I've lost it.
- Exactly!

- No, no. It's around.
- No, no, no.

- I just had it.
- No, no, no.

Don't make me pull
out my receipts.

- Uh, Carol?
- Wait. Kathy--

Where's my phone?

Can you find it?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

How long have
you been saying,

I can't dial your phone?

And how many times
has your assistant

said they were gonna figure
out what the problem was?

Well, everybody
else's phone works.

Look at the phones.

Me to you:
"Call me."

Look how many
with not one response.

And then I don't have
any missed from you. Look.

All my missed documented.

But I wanna show you right now
when I call you. Watch.

Every time I call your mobile
phone, that's it, every time.

No ring.

Your call has
been forwarded...

- That's it.
- That's so weird.

To an automatic voice--

Well, I've been telling
you this for three years.

Is it that long?

Kathy uses her iPad to
comment on my Instagram.

Like, I can't find
my phone, call me.

This is a public forum.

We haven't checked any
messages here in 15 years.

Well, maybe
you're the problem.

I have, like, a 100,000 people
telling me to call my sister.

Hi, how are you?
- Hello.

Good. How are you?
- Oh, good.

You got the plates.

Thank you.

♪

- Mm.
- I don't see your knife.

- All right, I have it...
- Thank you.

Right here, Paola.
You're the best.

Oh, it's Paola.

I always just knew
her as "the lady."

Who do I ask for if
I call the house?

- The lady.
- Who's "the lady"?

That works at my house.

Thank you, Paola.

Now she actually has a name.

Ow, sh--. That's so hot.
Here, do this.

Oh, that's gonna hurt you.
- No, I got it.

The way you're supposed
to do it is to go like this.

Well, I just did
that with my hand.

- Well, it's gonna burn.
- I already did it.

I was fine and dandy.
- Perfect.

I was hunky-dory.

All right, where
is your pearl spoon?

- Here.
- We've got that.

You don't need that.
- No, that one's later.

OK, you're fine.

Put your butter in
and then pass it to me.

You have your
own butter, dear.

Oh, here, I do.
Oh, as we do.

I have this.
- OK.

And do you have one
for your sour cream?

That one doesn't
need that pearl.

- OK.
- OK.

You're supposed to
scoop up, but you're

not supposed to have--

- It touched the caviar.
- Mm-hmm.

Mm.

I'm confused.

Is this--the meal--an
entree or an appetizer?

- Wait.
- What?

You just had--a whole
bunch just poured out.

Kathy, careful.

Did you hear what I just said?

Yes.

No, you didn't because
you didn't answer.

What?

Is this an appetizer
or the entree?

- This is the entree, dear.
- Oh.

What are you, nuts?

It's just
a potato on a plate.

Unless you go to those baked
potato bars in the mall,

I've never seen it be a meal.

Do you think you have
enough caviar there?

I'm doing it like they do
at Caviar Kaspia in Paris.

I've never seen one
person have that much caviar

in my whole life.

I mean, I guess
if you're pouring

thousands of dollars
of caviar on top,

it's gonna be a meal.

- You're gonna be full.
- I am?

Yes.

You're having a lunch, come
on over for a baked potato,

said nobody ever
except my sister.

How good is this?

Really good.

Tell me this--where do you
find somebody to help you?

What do you need help
with right now in the house?

Just everything.

I'm overwhelmed.

I've wrapped so many gifts
that my fingers hurt.

I can't drive every
gift to every--

the stores don't
want to deliver.

You can't find ribbon.

Somebody pee-peed on
my sofa the other night.

Someone or a dog?

- No, someone.
- A person peed on your sofa?

Mm-hmm.

♪

All my carpets are ruined.

I feel like the whole
house is falling apart.

Coming up...

OK, what are we drinking?

I want a Golly Gasm.

I ain't had a gasm
in about a year and a half.

Sheree, we need to go out.

♪

This is, like, spectacular.

The white grand piano
with the candles

and then the Christmas
trim around the side

is just magical.

We have the gifts
ready to go...

- Yeah, we moved them.
- In a pile.

Also, they're color-coordinated
in the gold and the white.

And then we have
Carlos over here.

- Yeah?
- Have you met Carlos before?

Oh, my gosh, Carlos and
I go a long way back.

Holy moly.

- It looks beautiful.
- Thank you.

I'm excited.
It's gonna be fun.

Pandemic is messing with
me little bit because I

have usually way more guests.

So I'm trying to make
the big party cozy

for small group of people.

- And then--
- This is pretty nice and cozy.

- Yeah.
- It's just I'm trying to

fill up the space so it
doesn't feel like it's empty.

But it will be the COVID
Christmas miracle, for sure.

The bar looks great, too.
I love the drink menu.

- Oh, my God.
- Golly Gasm, Saint Sonicolas.

- Ooh, I need to have that.
- Merry Blissmas.

- A Golly Gasm.
- Oh, look at that.

- Oh, that's so cool
- Look at that.

They each have
a little straw.

Oh, I gotta get--

That's awesome.
- All right.

Super creative.

Let the party begin.

♪

She's back to life, honey.

Coming back slowly.

Hi!

You look great.

I'm so excited to see you.

I'm excited to see everybody.

You know Dorit's not coming.

No. Tell me.
I don't know anything.

- PK tested positive. Yeah.
- Sh--

- He's isolating.
- Oh,

OK, I'll see you soon.
OK, bye.

♪

That one's really good.

Gay magic, gay magic.
- Gay magic.

- Gay magic.
- Gay magic.

It's gonna be good.
- Yep.

I'm hoping that--you know,
I'm gonna have a few drinks.

I've been having a good time.

Some--and then one event,
I had a little too much

of a good time.

Oliver. Have your baby mama
contact me on my DMs.

We can get it in three way.
It's all good.

Oh, my god!

Do you want one now?

No.

Thank you.
- I'll report back in a minute.

♪

That dress with
that dress, girl. Yes!

You look amazing.

Thank you, love.

But doesn't it look like
a little bit of a Pope thing?

Not at all. No.

- The first guests.
- Well, hello.

My family's here.

Muah.

Hi, Mama.

- It's five of us, you know.
- Keep you coming in.

- I did this all for you guys.
- Just for us.

Just for us.

I'm big on
Christmas holiday.

I love it, and Ava will be
with us for a month.

Innis is around, and the baby.

Having my kids all
together under one roof,

it's my favorite thing
in the world.

♪

I gotta keep
my dress together.

It's so short.
- Oh, my Lord.

A Christmas surprise.
- Thanks, honey.

Whoa. Wow!

Hi!

That's the one for me.

Thank you so much.

The Grinch has arrived.
- Ah!

You look so cute.

I love the color.
- It's so festive.

- Hey, babe.
- It's so nice.

- How are you?
- Hi, how are you?

Good to see you.

Look at you with your
sparkles, mama.

Girl!

Oh, wow.

This is so pretty.

There's so many
Christmas trees lit up.

It feels like I've
walked into a winter wonderland

in Beverly Hills.

- Oh, you look gorgeous.
- Right? Hi, gorgeous!

There was money spent on this
party, for sure, like cash.

Lots of it.

Hi! Oh, my God!
Oh, look at us!

We are both, like,
wearing nothing.

I love it.

Thanks.

♪

- Well, there's--
- Oh, wow, honey!

Whoo-hoo!

You look so good!

- Could be.
- it.

Yes!

You guys wanna
get the drinks?

Yeah, let's have a drink.

Hey, Erika, are
you gonna drink?

Yeah, I'm drinking.

I mean, I don't know
if I'm gonna repeat

my Garcelle--you know what?
I might.

I don't know.

By the way,
they have bedrooms here. So--

- Right.
- You can definitely

sleep over.
- Thanks.

OK, what are we drinking?

Are there specials?

I just want a Golly Gasm.

I started drinking
champagne at home.

So I should probably
do yours, neuroGasm.

Yes, I need a gasm.

We're all for a gasm
in this crib.

- I need a gasm, too.
- I need a gasm, too.

I ain't had gasm
in about a year and a half,

but that's all right.

- Sheree, we need to go out.
- Sheree's really funny.

How old are your kids?

Zoe is six, and Max is nine.

- Oh, that's a good age.
- Yeah, it's really fun.

It's a good age, yeah.

Zoe probably loved
watching you get ready.

She loved it because
she loves the Grinch.

- Aww.
- So I started walking around

like the Grinch, right?
- That's so cute.

- Hello.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Look at you.

You look so good. Hi.

I want this suit.

I was gonna say
I might want yours.

- I want this suit.
- Maybe we trade jackets.

Maybe we trade--
I want the whole thing.

The whole kit and caboodle.

♪

Wow!

I've never seen so many
Christmas trees in my life.

Hi! Hi, everybody.

Hi, Kyle.

- Mine is 29, and he's my baby.
- Hi!

- You guys are feeling good?
- Yes.

OK, first of all, your
house looks to die for.

- Isn't it great?
- I'm so scared to

take off my mask.
- It's OK.

I'll adjust after
a drink, maybe.

Yeah, have a drink.

And then this is my
thank you for being...

- Oh, thank you so much.
- So generous.

Thank you, love.
Thank you.

It looks like a book,
but it's actually a box.

And I liked what it said.

Oh.
"When you find somebody good,

keep them in your life."
Tom Ford.

Perfect.
- Quoting Tom Ford.

- Love.
- Thank you so much.

- So sweet.
- Aw, that's so sweet.

Thank you.

You guys know Sutton's
not coming, right?

- No.
- No, why?

- She tested positive.
- No.

Oh, she has COVID.

Dorit has it too, right?

No, Dorit doesn't,
but PK does.

- PK has it, right?
- We're dropping like flies.

Coming up...

Oh, there's my sister.

- Well, hello.
- Where have you been?

- ♪ Looks like Christmas
- What it is this?

- Lobster roll.
- Is it lobster roll?

It's delicious.

♪ Looks like Christmas

- You're Diana's son?
- Innis.

- Innis?
- Yeah.

- Ava.
- Ava, OK.

How long have you--
you're married, right?

I'm sorry.

I just didn't know. I'm--
- No, I'm 22.

♪

Oh, there's my sister.

- Well, hello!
- Where have you been?

I have been busy.

Well, get your ass over here.

First of all,
I have to say hi.

Hi, my love.
How are you?

Hi. Hi.
So good to see you.

She's been busy.

I met Kathy as Paris' mom.

So I know her a little bit as
a more--a stricter figure.

Hi.

I'm Ava.

- Hi, Ava.
- Great to meet you.

I'm Kathy Hilton.
Nice to see you.

- I'm Innis.
- Ooh.

You know what?
Let's do this, right?

- Right, right.
- I'm OK.

I'm double vaxxed and--
- Same.

- Now, you are--
- I'm Diana's son.

So you know Paris?

I know Paris.

Oh, my goodness.
Hi, honey.

How are you?
- Baby.

- What happened to you?
- I don't know.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, this is
Valentino, your fav.

- Oh, my God.
- You're with them.

Muah.

Crystal reminds me
of a little green--

she's an emerald elf.

I want you to wear
a little green hat.

I'm gonna get
you a green hat.

Now put your
hands on your head.

With the little--
yeah, that's when you know

if it's too short, dear.

- Right?
- All the way.

- Above your finger--oh!
- Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

♪

Hello.

all: Hi!
- She's so beautiful.

I'm back!

- This is for your daughter.
- Oh, thank you so much.

- Thank you for inviting me.
- Thank you.

The last time I saw Diana,
she was at my birthday party,

and she was out of control.

I was very sorry.

You're fake, you're fake,
you're fake.

Diana, that's bullsh--.

You're being really mean
right now.

I am.

It's the holidays,
and we're in a festive mood.

So my gift to Diana
is coming to her party

and not bringing
any bad energy,

which she didn't do
at my party.

COVID hugs from here.

I don't know
how sick you were.

Yeah, I'm so
happy you're back.

- Thank you, sweetheart.
- You look gorgeous.

I almost--you know,
I almost wore this tonight.

- Stop it right now.
- But I thought--

yes, that would have been cute.
- Kathy.

That would have been very cute.
- That would have been cute.

That would have
been very cute.

Hello, legs.
- Hi, love.

How are you?

I wore legs for you because
I know you're always like--

I love legs.

You love boobs.
I love legs.

- Who knew you had boobs?
- I have--

- You don't show your boobs.
- I don't show anything.

There is a lot of boob, baby.

Thank you, but I'm not.
I'm in a bad--

- No, you say, thank you.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Yeah, that's a good place.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Thank you for saying that.

You not feeling
good about that?

Yeah, it's OK.

You know,
the holidays are weird.

- It's a lot of food.
- It's a lot of food.

Oh.

It's just the holidays.

Like, I've been going
out every night.

And there's just more food,
just more--like you said,

more food,
like, it's normal.

But does that trigger you?
Or how do you feel?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Do you not--

- Oh, you look beautiful.
- OK, I'm gonna

be really
ignorant for a second.

- Really beautiful.
- Is it, like,

you eat it and feel guilty
or you deny yourself eating it?

I'm just curious.
- No, I eat it and feel bad.

- Ah.
- I wanna get rid of it.

Like, I can't be with it.
- So you can't hold it.

- I can't be with it, no.
- Wow.

- I can't be--
- I always--OK.

Well, I always think, take
laxatives and get rid of it.

- Wow.
- Wow.

A laxative?

She has an eating disorder.

Erika's not a doctor,
and you don't

prescribe laxatives to someone
with an eating disorder.

It's really the most
inappropriate thing at

the most inappropriate time.

You're like an ornament
on a Christmas tree.

Oh, tinsel tree.

- And you're safe to hug.
- Am I?

Yeah, since you
already had it.

- Oh, OK.
- I'm safe, woman.

- I'm really safe.
- Never ever.

You've never had it.

You're too beautiful to get it.

- Yes.
- Oh.

- Come sit next to me, woman.
- I want to.

I gotta do it.
We got to do it right here.

I love you, girl!

I know I'm not gonna
lose weight.

It's not like, oh,
I'm gonna get skinny.

So what happens
when you purge?

I just feel better.

It's like a relief.
- Right.

- Because before--
- Is it because it's out?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- So do you enjoy it

going down?

Yeah, and then
if I keep going--

- You feel guilt.
- Yeah, yeah.

Feel guilt,
and then it's like,

I gotta get rid of this.
- Yes.

- OK.
- To the point where sometimes

I look like I'm aloof 'cause
I'm always thinking about it.

No, no. I'm gonna be
really gross right now.

Whereas you would vomit it up,
I would rather...

Oh, right.

That's the lax--yeah.

Is she trying to be helpful?

Or has she just had
a couple too many drinks?

- Have you sought treatment?
- I need to.

It's time.
- It is time.

It's time, but I don't know
what's gonna come out

on the other end.
- It doesn't matter

what comes out.

You know what's gonna
come out?

A better Crystal.

What is it, babes?

Chicken tender
and barbecue ranch.

Oh, what is this?

Chicken tender
and barbecue ranch.

- Oh, my God.
- You can't have this.

It's a chicken tender, and a--
- I'm not gonna eat.

All right,
I need another drink.

♪