All language subtitles for Stella s01e02

The following programme contains strong
language.

I'm gonna be a nana.

Remember Susie Locke? She was a granny
at 33, so you're ancient by her

standards.

Sorry.

I was just trying to look on the bright
side. There isn't a bright side.

12 weeks, mind.

I thought she was looking a bit porky.
We're not going to pay for it.

Where are they going to live? The whole
thing's bloody ridiculous.

That's not what your mum said to you,
though, is it?

No.

Look.

No one else knows yet.

Let the dust settle.

She might even change her mind. Oh,
she's definitely keeping it.

OK.

So you've got a few months to get used
to it, then.

You've got to be happy for her, Estelle.

And with your daughter.

Then it's the rules.

Yeah.

It'll be all right, won't it?

Of course it will, you idiot.

Is that a tail?

Yeah. No, me and Di were just... I don't
want to know.

No.

There's meant to be milk in it. No, it's
not. It's flour and egg.

I've seen Nana Meg do it.

Look.

That's gross, Alice.

No, it's not.

Hello?

Hiya. Why are you up so early for?

Mum, Emma's on the baby.

Emma?

Where to tell him he's my brother?

Yeah, well, better not to say anything
to no -one, all right? You promise?

Yeah. Can I clip it off now? No, it's
not ready.

I need that a minute, is there?

Can I tell you something?

Hey.

Wait. Wait till it's gone brown. OK.

It's OK.

Well, I'd rather think.

And I've talked to your Auntie Paula,
and the most important thing for now is

that we don't panic.

I'm not panicking. Because there's
absolutely nothing for you to be scared

about. Well, I'm not scared. I'm
excited.

Yeah?

Right. Well, and the next most
importantest thing... Most important...

Ben.

The other important thing is that we
keep it to ourselves. We don't need no

else to know about it for the time
being, all right? So you don't tell your

father, you... You certainly don't tell
Nadine.

And you don't believe a word of it, and
Anna Meg will come up there.

Ben knows.

And Auntie Paula knows.

That's not the point.

Hang on.

Back in the house now?

Can you believe it?

Where is she?

I know we're in no make -up. I look
bleak as a sheep. But as soon as we

had to come over, I just feel so
emotional.

Is that it? I said to you, didn't I,
Dean?

Yeah, you did.

But we never thought you'd come.

Come. She did pick up to my sister, she
do.

She caught first time with all four of
them.

How could you take up to your sister?
You're not related.

Like hamsters, she is.

Mum, do you want a pancake?

No, no, Ben.

Carl, don't you think we should talk
about this? She's still at school,

Oh, and not for much longer.

That's the beauty of it, Presh. Solves
all that shit with college and shit,

doesn't it?

Going to be a nanny now, isn't she?

Job in itself, isn't it? You're always
saying that yourself, Stel. Come on.

Yeah, what are you going to call it?

Because by rights, you should call him
Carl. Because he'll be the first

grandchild.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to be a granddad.

That's stunning, isn't it?

Congratulations.

And jubilation.

I want the world... You must be over the
moon, love.

Where is she? Where's my... Hey, Janky.

It's three to bits, all three of us.

Thanks.

To hell with the emphysema. She's
helping you, love.

Hey, you got a corkscrew, like?

Don't need a corkscrew for champagne,
Dad.

Oh, all right.

It's a Sunday morning.

Come on, a bit of a toss, innit?

Oh, don't listen to her, Carl. I'll have
one.

Mummy! You are not having one, good
girl. You're pregnant.

All right, lad man.

Not every day you get to be a granny,
you know.

Oh, I get it.

These pancakes taste like envelope.

Going to have an awful mind, isn't she,
Carl?

Of course, they'll be welcome over hours
any time.

And if we have to, we move the sunbed
into the shed. I do that for them and

Artie. Yes, I know.

Congratulations, boys.

Yes.

Who's the daddy?

Who's the daddy? What's the matter?

It's my parents.

They weren't proper mental. If Mam was
wheeling and everything.

Wheeling? Yeah, well, you know, it's a
big shock for us all.

It's going to take time to get used to
it.

Yeah, I know. She's going to have to be
here for a bit, Mam, till they calm

down. Is that all right with you,
Stella?

Yeah, I suppose so.

I'll have to pump up the lilo.

What?

Will you, Anne?

He'll not go in on the lilo.

He'll be here with me, won't he? No, I'm
sorry, Emma. I am not happy with that.

Stable door in Oslo.

Morning,

Ben. Wednesday today?

On the train, Italy?

Little Al's coming, isn't he?

Ben! Sandwiches!

Oh, thanks.

I hear congratulations are in order, Mrs
Morris.

What did I tell you?

Mum, how long's Sunil going to stay? He
had all the cork pops this morning.

Just a few days, I expect.

He's had a fun night with his mother.

The whole family stopped talking to him,
Sun indeed says. Yeah, well, nothing

can mind your own business.

I've been having a think about this
situation.

Oh, I'm fine, Alan, honest.

I've decided to offer you some work.

Bit of eye.

Won't be much. It'll be all else,
doesn't it?

Two extra mouths to feed with Sonny
living there.

Well, he hadn't actually moved in. Of
course, and there's a baby.

That's another month.

Really kind of you, Alan, but... Tonight
will be good. Before rugby.

I'll have it ready for you.

Just a couple of shirts, it is.

All right, Tree?

Oh, yourself?

God, fantastic hockey news about you and
Emma.

Oh, I made up for who I was when I
heard.

Yeah, well, early days, you know. Nah,
she's strong as a cock and ox, love.

That's the good thing about starting
them young, see?

Healthy as, like my Lady G.

Lady G?

Ah, my middle one, Lady Gaga.

She didn't like Britney no more, so she
cock and changed it.

21 she is now still, and them three are
hers.

The rest are Darren's.

Right.

Tell you what, though, kid.

You are going to love being a nana.

There's nothing cocking like it.

Better get this all off to school.

Learn how some popcorn sounds.

Oh, God.

Hello again.

Hi.

Now, are you sure we can get this done
in time? Because I must have them back

Friday by six.

I've got nine people coming to dinner.
And they'll need to be starched. OK.

I hear your daughter's expecting.

What? You people. Honestly.

Lovely, isn't she?

Oh, here she is.

Old Granny Morris.

Yeah, you're hilarious.

Oh, sorry, Press.

I know the whole bloody town knows about
it, didn't you?

It's exciting.

That's why.

She in?

Aye. Doze on a latch.

Mrs Boy!

Bubba Boy!

It's Stella, the ironing girl.

I got your sheets and things left.

What's that?

I got your washing, all nice and ironed.

What's that?

It's your ironing!

Take it away, you're not interested.

She's been on.

They found the earth.

Bringing it back to Savo.

Oh, that's a bit of good news, isn't it?

Where should they find her?

Put a call about it, me. On the tea
front.

It's a voucher for antifreeze.

Di, when did my life get so shit?

Now, can anyone tell me what the word
legitimate means?

Not stolen?

No, Alex Rees.

If you were legitimate...

It means your parents are married.

Not that anyone cares these days, but
back in Henry VIII's day, it was very

important that the heir to the throne
was not... A bastard, miss.

Illegitimate, Ben Morris.

My sister says my brother Luke was a
bastard, miss, cos his dad ain't my

My mum says my dad's a bastard, miss.

That's why she married Keith.

Right, now, well, Ben... Why don't you
come up here and tell us all about your

family? Then we can put the information
into a family tree.

And if I share with you my story, would
you share your dollar with me?

Bad times are coming, and I'll reap what
I don't sow.

Hey, Walter.

Change the oil and replace the partner.

If it's not that, then you're knackered.

Thanks, Marge.

You should advise him. I'm asking him.

Doing an A -level in Jeremy Kyle now,
are you, Sunil?

Hey, we're watching that.

What can your parents get? It's been
four days now. Don't go to him like

Right, get dressed. We're going round
there. No way.

Yes way.

I've had enough. Mum, you don't
understand.

We've already been back to Sian.

They want us to get married, OK?

Don't be ridiculous.

You are not getting married. Oh, and I
knew you'd be like this.

That's why I had to say no.

Oh.

Everyone for me would have said yes.

Maybe.

I don't know.

But they said if we did, they'd give us
the flat over the shop.

A whole flat, Mum.

They're just using it for storing stuff
at the moment, but once we decorate it,

it'll be really nice.

Listen to you both. It's not a game.
It's not Ken and Barbie.

I mean, I'm... Baby's massive enough.
Getting married on top of that is just

mental. It's too much. You're too young.
Tanisha said it'd be better for her. It

would make her stronger.

Oh, did she now?

Yeah. And she said I could become a
Hindu if I wanted.

Right. Let's get this straight. You are
not getting married and you are not

turning Hindu.

Racist! Childish!

Got any more cocoa, Popskill?

I'm not a racist, all right?

Now, Ben's going to be an uncle.

So that means Ben's sister... Emma is...
A slapper.

No, Ben's sister Emma is having a baby.

So that means the family tree gets a new
branch.

That's right.

But Ben also has a half -brother, Luke,
who is... Imprisoned. No, single.

We don't know that for definite, miss.

One of the other prisoners might be his
bitch.

Bloody surfers. There's simply no
respect for the dead anymore, Daddy.

Like a knife to his heart, Paul.

Well,

I do like it, I do.

It looks ridiculous.

Got some proper oomph now, mate.

We don't need oomph in us.

Those four bloody miles an hour.

Well, it's happening all over these
days, Daddy.

The only chance are if these kids get to
drive something decent.

Yeah, well, the real deal, innit?

Your Daimlers and your Mercs. Yeah, but
it's not a Merc.

It's a Ford Granada.

Bob, skip Diahann, get a back ship
shake. I've got a home visit to do.

Well, go on away for the day, baby.

Yeah, that's him.

Wife died Tuesday.

Tell you what we'll do. We'll get rid of
the wave, but I wouldn't mind keeping

hold of the exhaust and the wetsuits.

I get you. So it's a family tree, but
you've got to make it interesting, is

Yeah. Like I was thinking of putting
banjo on there.

Well, I know who the father is, Devin.

Who?

That little Jack Russell from Flinby
Street.

That dog have had more strays than you
or Auntie Paula have had lager tops.

You've been with every bitch this side
of Treokey.

Mrs Morris.

I think getting married would be a big
mistake.

Well, yes.

I have a wife already.

I'll put the kettle on.

What? You actually played rugby for
Wales?

Aye. Back in the day.

And I was there when the mine collapsed,
of course.

Were you?

Yep.

Ask you an honour.

I rescued three men.

Scrabbled through the coal I did with my
own bare hands.

Gumpa, did not expect him bigot -setting
stories in his project, you know.

Carried them to safety.

I'm just going to say, who was his
father and mother now?

And what did he do for a job?

Aye. Well, you can tell him about the
rescue.

I got a medal for it and all.

Right.

Come on, boy.

It's the baby that's the problem.

I'm quite excited now, at the thought of
being a grandparent. Really? I could

have waited a bit longer, to be honest.

Well, yes, me too, but now that it's
happened, we need to make the best of a

situation.

Great. We have got high hopes for Sunil,
you see.

Just men, there is a bit of a lost soul,
as you know. You're on about, she's a

lovely girl.

Forty king -size, mate?

Aye, go on. And give me one of them
scrap cars, bud, will you? One with the

bullfighter on? No offence, like.

Just Minda's only interested in boys.

Sunil's got brains.

He's going to be a doctor for God's
sake.

He was our pension.

And then your daughter goes and traps
him into fatherhood.

Very easy now, good girl. Takes two to
warm the chat, no? Of course it does,

Tanisha. Thank you, mate.

Look, I'm very fond of Emma.

She's pretty.

She loves our son.

Yeah, that's not all she's got going for
her. She's a bright girl.

Is she?

Yes! You all right over that step, love?

All right. Don't worry, I got it.

All right, Stella?

Oh, yeah. You got any plaits, love?

I must cut his cocking wrist again.

Blood buster everywhere.

Buy the cat food.

We just think it's better, morally and
practically, for them to get married.

And then she can support him through
medical school, be at home with the

be a proper wife.

Oh, my Emma, you serious?

Well, of course, we'd help them out in
ways that you never could.

We'd be happy to give them the flat
upstairs, for instance.

We'll only do that if they get married.
That's the deal.

Right, well, thanks for the offer and
the tea.

But I think the best thing is for you to
take you a deal and to stick it right

up your arse, because my daughter is not
for sale.

Oh, and I love these bastards.

You actually said the word arse?

Yeah. But it's Daniel's mother.

It's all for them.

I said, write up your arse.

What? Emma's going to kill you.

Why?

It's a good thing I've done. She'll find
me one day a tarot.

You were going to marry my dad at 16?

17, and they didn't in the end, did I?
No, but only because he buggered off to

Canada.

I'm just saying, that's all. If he'd
stayed here, you would have done exactly

what you're stopping Emma from doing
now. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, clever

Oh.

I can't wait for you to come home.

Don't know when you're going to sleep,
mind.

Only three months now, though.

I'm counting the hours.

When you come home, you will... What?

Stay.

Don't go getting into trouble. Don't
come back here again. I can't bear it.

Mum, I only stole a car.

Five cars.

And a lorry.

No earthies.

True. No earthies.

You had six brothers and sisters.

Thereabouts, aye.

And really, you had six wives.

Aye, well, your Uncle Barry had four.

Nana.

Did Gumpa really play rugby for Wales?

Hiya. In via, Estelle.

Hiya, Prash.

Good day.

Do you look worn out? How's Luke?

Excited, he is. Well, he would be. I'm
going to speak to Jack. Good luck.

When he gets back, the reality will hit
home.

He might need psychotherapy, you know.

Ma 'am, I told you not to say nothing,
but you had to interfere, didn't you?

right, calm down. I just wanted to speak
to you. I'm so embarrassed.

Look, you should be bloody grateful,
man.

The only reason I want you to get
married to him is so that you can make

and bring up his kids while he's off
being a bloody doctor. That's not what

want, is it?

She's not getting married, is she, Stan?
Oh, I shouldn't, ma 'am. Yes, it is

actually, all right.

That's what I'm going to do, and you
can't stop me.

She can.

You're not 18.

But you can run away to Gretna Green or
something if you want. Sure, sure, I've

been. Well, good God.

I don't know what your grandfather's
going to say about all this.

Oh, he'll probably say he's very happy
for me.

Anna probably says he's coming to our
engagement party on Friday. You're not

serious. What engagement party?

Oh, you're invited to an Anna, and you
are, Ben.

In fact, everyone is, except her.

You can stop me getting married, ma 'am,
but you won't stop me getting engaged.

I'm moving out.

Can I have her room?

Melissa took the ironing board.

Yes.

Actually, yes.

Come in.

Come in.

Hi, little Alan.

Hi.

Haven't seen up the club much. Watching
Ben?

He's turned into a right little dynamo,
he is.

Yeah, well, I've had a few things on my
plate, Alan.

Like my daughter leaving home,
threatening to get married.

Not out your going, are you?

It's an engagement party.

Ah, it seems you'd like to.

We'd be having a curry anyway on a
Friday night, so send me a few pounds,

honest.

There will be a curry there, I take it?

No idea.

Right.

What do you want me to do?

What I in end do you want me to do?

Oh, yeah.

Well...

Change out your moral costume, will you?
But I like it.

Stella wants to hide it.

What?

Move yourself.

OK.

Got me all ready.

Here we go.

Is that it?

You got me over here for two shirts?

Where's your lollipop costume?

Oh, it's not a costume.

It's a coat.

And that doesn't need ironing.

Though I might have some pants upstairs.
I'll do pants. Half and fifty.

Is that your family tree, little Alan?

Look, I've finished it.

Alan?

Alan?

Alan?

Alan? Alan?

Almost everyone in your family is called
Alan.

Yeah.

Traditional.

I'm little Alan.

I know, yeah.

But I bet even your dad was little Alan
once.

No.

I've always been big Alan.

No.

Shall we go to your room?

Em, we can't.

Mum's in the kitchen.

So?

We're engaged, remember?

She won't mind. Yes, she will.

Shut up. I'm revising.

Boring.

Jasmine is home in a bin. She... Emma,
I've got nothing to do. You can help me

stuff some samosas for the party.

Oh, no, you're all right.

Terrible cook, me.

Oh, look at this, Dan.

Proper pretty, isn't it?

And I wear it tomorrow night.

If everybody had a look Across the USA
Then everybody'd

be served Like the way you ride the wave
twice a week.

You read it hard and you read it fast.

That's your bottom dollar, Bradley Joe.

Oh, and Buckley... Hell yeah, Buckley!

Sorry.

All right.

It's not doing it for me, this one,
anyway.

Suits a bit tight.

Oh, she met her.

I'm coming down now, Meg!

It'll be the bloody engagement party.

What?

Now, £5 .80 is minimum wage an hour. We
didn't quite do the hour.

In fact, you're only here 25 minutes,
all told.

So, let's call that four pound.

It's really generous of you.

Don't mention it.

See you at the party, then.

Not going, Al.

Got invited.

Well, it's a terrible position to be in.
Do we stand by Stella and not go, and

then offend Emma and the child?

Child tree, yeah. Or do we go to the
party, keep Emma happy?

What does that say?

Oh, I can't bear any sense out of him.
He's too wrapped up with Ben and his

family tree.

What about you?

Are you going to go?

Well, you know the answer is, get Stella
to go, then we know we won't be happy

family. Well, she won't, though, will
she?

Emma's just as bad.

We'll never near the place.

Oh, Mr. God, who'd have girls?

Boys are much easier.

You and your truck will die. Little
angel you were.

Still is sometimes.

So you've taken this up proper, then the
surfing and what have you.

They look like farmer's suits.

Yeah. They were left in the back of the
hearse. I tried surfing once.

Down Langlam Bay.

Me steer, Al, and you push.

Ah, no point.

You don't look between us. Wait, why is
you and me?

Oh, charming.

Go on, hon, there's Emma and Jasminda.

Emma!

Emma!

Emma!

Emma! All right, then, Al, calm down.

Do you need a hand?

What do you think?

Well, don't look at me. I'm pregnant.

Well, let's try again.

Come on.

Yeah.

That's it.

Right.

No petrol, is it?

No. What is it, then?

I don't know, Emma. I'm not a mechanic.

Don't get arsey with me. I'm the one
making conversation here, unlike some

people. Make your progress now. You're
in your stride.

So you're going to sign this letter of
consent, then, so me and Sonny can get

married? You know I'm not.

Why not, man? It's not fair.

It isn't some school trip you want to go
on or a pair of designer jeans you want

to buy. I'm not saying no to being mean.
I'm saying no because it's a stupid,

bloody idea.

Well, no one else thinks so. Dad doesn't
think so.

Your dad's a stupid bloody man. Why do
you think I left him?

I thought he left you.

That's it.

Push.

There you are.

Taste of things to come, eh?

I'm not changing my mind about it.
There's no point talking about it.

You spoil everything you do. No, I
don't. Yes, you do.

I hate you. No, you don't.

As soon as I'm 18, we can marry anyway.

Great. So wait till you're 18, then.

Come on, Jazz, let's go.

It's OK.

I'm all right.

Little Al.

Daddy's alive.

Good morning. You're listening to The
Big One. I don't know what you've got

planned today, but it is a fantastic day
outside. The sun is shining.

to do today.

Alan.

I've solved your problem.

Which one?

Emma or the car?

The last one.

Oh, the fact I'm up to my eyes in debt
with no real means to pay it off.

No, the last one. The car one.

Oh. You're going to pay to get it fixed?

No.

But I've got the next best thing.

Ta -da!

Here's my ankle.

That'll work. Good as new.

thick dining in the back here.

Look. And wait for it.

Is it OK if I go to Emma's party?

It's up to you, babes.

But is that the realest up to you, or a
clouty one? Like when we have to decide

whether to go to Dad and Nadine's for
Christmas dinner?

Look, Emma's crossed and me loving her
you.

I really, really want you to go if you
want to go.

Now, wish me luck.

I've got to get to Mrs Barclay's on this
thing.

Bye, Mum.

See that face?

Yeah. That's the color I want to do the
bathroom.

Barclay, I got a terrible accident.

Obviously, I'll pay for any damage,
but... Hello?

She's out.

She's gone to pick up a chocolate
fountain.

A chocolate fountain?

You cycle up that hill?

Yeah. I'm not much of a judge when it
comes to ironing, but... That looks a

crap. It is.

Right.

You're coming with me.

Still not dry? Don't worry.

Blimey.

Well, when it's what you do day in, day
out.

I'll drop this off for you, if you like.
Back to the dragon's lair.

She do fancy you, Mrs Barkley, do?

No, she's just after me money.

Mum, where's my camera?

Er, top shelf.

Really gets the energy from it.

Oh, hello.

I had an accident on the tricycle and
this is, erm... Oh, my God, I don't know

your name.

It's Sean.

Hiya, I'm Stella.

All right?

You haven't got jet lag, have you? You
need to get that checked out. She means

with blood, she does. She always gets
them mixed up. This is my mother, Meg.

Hiya, you all right?

How do you do? Well, you laugh about it,
but Cheryl Cleaver's mother added

you'll never see her out of a neck
brace. That's because she's on the

Ben, Mum, I'm all right.

Ben, this is Sean.

He's got a Harley.

How many feces?

1 ,500.

Cool. Right, well, we'd better get off.

It's all right for him?

Yeah.

Still, we're going for Emma, all right?

I know.

Enjoy yourself.

Really.

OK.

See you later.

Nice to meet you, Sean.

You too.

So I get the feeling you're meant to be
somewhere else.

Long story.

I thought washing's got at least 20
minutes left.

I'd take that as a compliment.

It's really, really, really nice.

Is Papa Indian or not?

That's because we are Indian.

You did know that, didn't you?

Tanisha -ji, come on. You've got to get
changed.

We are here.

I'm coming.

Tanisha's so... I can't believe it.

Oh, come on.

She wanted to make it nice for us.

Let me give your mum a call.

It's not too late. Yes, it is.

Yeah, it is too late -like.

Come on, let's try the music out.

So your eldest, Luke, is it?

Luke, yeah.

Well, then what would you have said if,
like, your mother had told you, I don't

know, that you had to have him adopted?

Would you have listened to her?

Look, I know what this is and you're
very convincing in that.

At the end of the day, Emma's making a
big mistake.

Maybe she is, but it's her mistake to
make, isn't it?

So you've got any kids then, Sean?

Not yet.

Stella.

All done?

Better get cracking then.

It's none of my business this, but Emma
might be your only ever daughter and...

This might be her only ever engagement
party.

Seems a shame to miss it.

Don't you think?

Bessamy, my old car.

It's better than the Pontypunter.

Welcome to you both.

All right, I'm Carl. I am but Emma's
dad.

Ah, good to meet you properly.

I know, because I buy my wank marks from
you most weeks, but I don't even know

your name.

Jagadish.

Which one?

The jagged edge, is it?

No, it's Jagadish.

So, granddads together, we should go for
a pint sometime, then.

Don't be ignorant, Carl, man.

You don't drink. I'm a Sliminy.

I'm not a Muslim, actually.

Yes, I'm a no -no.

Yeah, I'm definitely something.

I'm Nadine. I'm the staff, ma 'am.

Pleased to meet you. I'm Phoenicia.

You must be Nadine.

No, it's Nadine. It is. Actually, no. I
quite like that.

Nadine. Like Chardonnay.

Hey, Nadine. You've got to try these
pasties, fresh. They're stunning.

Actually, it's Nadine, my name. I've
changed it.

That's fine.

Yeah, I'm great. Really.

All right, bro?

What are you waiting?

How lucky me.

Awesome. You look like a quality street.

Hey, Ben.

What I found today.

In the shed.

Grandad's bravery medal.

When he rescued those people from the
mine.

Petty never told you about that, did he?

Yeah, sort of.

It was in the papers and everything it
was.

Here you go.

Go get this on my phone. Put it on
YouTube.

It all looks ever so exotic, Nicole.

Should we be induced?

Eyes are quite fancier.

I thought you wanted to do ballroom
dancing.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you can't do both.

What's it to be?

I think the dress is more nice at the
ballroom, to be honest.

More flattering.

Yeah, let's stick to ballroom.

Tell me again.

Which bit?

The bits where the big, hairy miner is
all sweating and

rough rescues the poor, vulnerable
people trapped deep, deep in the deep,

mine. All alone.

Defenseless.

Right then.

Yeah. A bit.

Right, you get on. Get down the cellar,
hide under the broken chair.

I'll come and rescue you.

Give me ten minutes.

Sorry, excuse me.

Do you remember?

Yeah. Someone outside wants to see you.

I'm sure.

He's got an alley.

How do you know?

I had a Harley once.

Whoa, how fast do you go on it?

Don't be daft, kid.

Only joke, eh?

Imagine your old bumper on a motorbike.

It'd be a laughing stock.

Ma 'am, I'm really

sorry.

Me too.

Mother, you feel like getting married is
so final, you know?

It's not as final as having this baby.

True.

Look what he got me, Mum.

Oh, Em.

I proper love him, Mum.

I know you proper do.

Right, we'll use the deal.

You can have this baby.

Oh, thank you very much. And you can get
married.

Thank you very much.

But before you do any of that, I want
you to stay on at school and do your PhD

exam.

OK.

Well, that one's very difficult.

Oh, you're right, though, aren't you?

I'm going to be bored on my books in the
normal day.

May as well do some poxy GCSEs.

Deal, then?

Deal.

You don't want no trouble, Prash. It's
not the Hindu way.

This means such a lot to us.

Well, I'm sorry for telling you to stick
your deal up your...

Don't give it another thought.

You know, sometimes I have a mouth so
filthy I make my husband weep.

My boy's coming home in a month, and
that will make me smile.

So, Paula, what do you reckon?

Can you give Dick a funeral he'll never
forget?

Seeing such a good turnout today would
have made Dick a very proud Dick. A Dick

Ticklepink. You're not helping,
sweetheart.

In fact, you're freaking me out. Bobby!

I think we've got a problem.

Oh, I've got a...