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1
00:00:01,020 --> 00:00:03,170
All right, rangers, we have got a problem.
2
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,250
Do you know what this is?
3
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,570
2009 Baja Red.
4
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:12,880
Playful on the nose,
very dry on the palate,
5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,500
hints of Eucalyptus, Stone
Fruits, and Kalamata Olives.
6
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:18,110
What? No, it's marijuana.
7
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:20,780
God, I figured if anyone would
know, it would be you, Denzel.
8
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:22,780
Why? Because all black men love weed?
9
00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:26,090
No, because you love weed.
Look at your shirt.
10
00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:28,550
Ho, that's right!
Who don't like smokin' up?
11
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:32,650
Uh, I don't because I'm not in the
sixth grade, and I have shit to do.
12
00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:37,090
I confiscated this from a dirty hippie
50 feet from this ranger station.
13
00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:42,330
Who's got an idea for how to smoke out
these dope growin' draft dodgers?
14
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,760
Come on, guys, get creative.
15
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,110
I know how we can get some inspiration.
16
00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:54,940
Dude. Dude. Dude.
We have to build a rocket...
17
00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:57,840
To spy on the hippies
from outer space, man.
18
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:03,010
Yeah! But the rocket's gotta be shaped
like a big, hairy dinosaur dick!
19
00:01:03,010 --> 00:01:05,750
With giant, purple pterodactyl wings.
20
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,820
A hairy dinosaur dick with wings?
21
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:10,450
That is brilliant!
22
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:12,630
We'll swoop down and
laser gun the bastards!
23
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,230
- Yeah!
- That's it!
24
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,530
I love weed.
25
00:01:15,530 --> 00:01:17,500
Connie! Call NASA.
26
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,240
We need a Jurassic (Bleep) rocket
and a shitload more Funyuns.
27
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,970
We're dead. I can't feel my face.
28
00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:28,070
I think we're dead.
I've got bugs all over me!
29
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:39,960
Great, we just wasted twelve hours,
30
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,620
and the only decent idea
we had was attacking them
31
00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:45,090
with a genetically engineered cat robot.
32
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,390
I still think it can work.
33
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:47,700
Choo, choo! Ch-ch-choo!
34
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,800
No, I'm calling in the Feds.
35
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,570
Why? Denzel and I can
take these hippies down.
36
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:57,670
Besides, I always wanted
to be an undercover cop.
37
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,500
- Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh...
- Get off of me!
38
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,100
Now, the DEA is gonna handle this.
39
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,470
You're way too stupid! And as for Denzel...
40
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,730
It's all good.
I don't wanna be no undercover cop.
41
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:37,150
You don't? But it's so cool!
42
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:39,550
Hey, could you two idiots
play good cop, black cop
43
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:42,540
on your own time? I'm calling the DEA.
44
00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:45,190
- Malloy! What are you doing?
- Phone sex.
45
00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:47,790
What's it look like, you crazy,
co-dependent (Bleep) sucker?
46
00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:51,390
Whoa! Malloy, that's even mean for you.
47
00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:53,130
Not as mean as your mom
for getting pregnant
48
00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:56,700
by backing up to a glory
hole in a waffle house.
49
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,830
What are you laughing at, you (Bleep)?
50
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,740
Nice try trying to sneak outta
here, you dump truck with tits.
51
00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:04,040
My God, Malloy. What is happening to you?
52
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,610
Lately, you've been incredibly mean,
53
00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:07,710
and you've been humping...
Ohh, he's (Bleeping) my lunch!
54
00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:09,010
You can eat this in a minute.
55
00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:13,880
Now, stick your finger in
my butt, so I can finish.
56
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,580
Ethel, can we talk?
57
00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:19,490
- Sorry, that's my stomach.
- Connie, are you okay?
58
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,950
Yeah, I'm having a little
bit of a cash flow problem.
59
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,560
Haven't eaten in a week.
Can I borrow some money?
60
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,000
For food? Of course.
61
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,670
No, silly, for my telephone psychic.
62
00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:32,600
I call her all the time.
She's very expensive.
63
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,900
Connie, I am not loaning you money to
throw away on some stupid psychic.
64
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,840
I thought you were my friend, Ethel.
65
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,180
Oh, Connie.
66
00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:45,610
Now, that one was my vagina.
67
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:52,050
Welcome, gentlemen.
68
00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:55,690
I'm your point man here, Special Detective
Ranger enforcer Steve Williams.
69
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:58,160
I'm prepared to handle any
sort of secret combat
70
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,630
or spying mission you require of me.
71
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:03,870
Yes, um, Special Detective Williams.
72
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,570
You're just the man we want to see.
73
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:06,870
- I am?
- Oh, yeah.
74
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:08,570
We got a job for you.
75
00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:10,870
Denzel! The Feds are on the ground
76
00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:14,380
for less than five minutes, and I
already landed a key transport mission!
77
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,780
You're carrying their luggage, dumb ass.
78
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:18,550
I heard Robocop had to do the
same thing on his first day.
79
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,780
You don't wanna become a cop.
Trust me, Steve.
80
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,750
The Jackson family's always been cops.
81
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,850
My father, cop. His father, cop.
82
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:27,560
His father, cop.
83
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,760
His father, slave.
84
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,360
But he really didn't have a choice.
85
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,200
Wow, that's a lot of cops.
Why didn't you become one too?
86
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,930
Because they all got their asses
killed in the line of duty.
87
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:39,170
It's just a bunch of pot-growing hippies.
88
00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:41,240
It would be so easy to just go...
89
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,940
Oh, that's disturbing.
90
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:45,570
Malloy, stop humping the duffel bag!
91
00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:47,840
It's a valise, you peasant.
92
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,380
Don't you snap at me!
93
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:50,580
What's wrong with him?
94
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:52,110
It's normal, Woody. It's puberty.
95
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,750
His testicles are producing large amounts
of testosterone, hence the mood swings.
96
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,520
He'll be full-grown practically overnight.
97
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,320
No, I don't want that!
98
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,360
There's got to be some way to stop this.
99
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,960
Aw! Where am I?
100
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,960
Oh, remember, honey?
101
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,270
Daddy took you to the vet to get your...
Teeth cleaned?
102
00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,400
My balls are killing me!
103
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,440
Eh, they look all right.
104
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:17,640
You had me neutered?
105
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,240
Hey, you won't be mean anymore.
106
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,140
Plus, you'll be forever young,
just like Dick Clark.
107
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,010
Steve, I'm starting to think you lied to me
108
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,710
about there being an
amusement park out here.
109
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,620
Why are you so suspicious?
110
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,390
Well, for one, I never heard of
no Six Flags over Brickleberry.
111
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:34,150
And for two, we are clearly
following those undercover agents.
112
00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:37,330
They are really going to
appreciate us getting their backs
113
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,290
during their top-secret undercover meeting.
114
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:42,200
What? Steve, I told you I
don't want no part of this.
115
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,710
Oh, great, look who it is.
116
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,280
Our favorite tree cops,
doofus and dick-breath.
117
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,550
Yeah, piss off.
118
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:52,040
If we see any fish or trees
jaywalking, we'll let you know.
119
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,820
You do that. Affirmative. 10-4.
120
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,680
Here's our chance to do something police-y.
121
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,320
Hold it! Stay clear of
that shed over there.
122
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:07,120
My two DEA buddies are about to bust some
marijuana farmers, and they are tough...
123
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,430
So tough that they aren't even
wearing bulletproof vests.
124
00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:14,690
Thank you. You have been very helpful.
125
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:22,600
Hmm... Something must've tipped him off.
126
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,040
Steve, we gotta get outta here!
127
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,480
My name is Nikolai.
128
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,650
You two must be our new
growers from California.
129
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:32,750
Actually, there's been a huge misunder...
130
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:36,220
Yeah, we're the new
growers from California!
131
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:38,520
- Say what?
- What is your name, my friend?
132
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,210
Uh...
133
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,930
I'm...
134
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:44,360
- Mario?
- Mario what?
135
00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:48,600
- Brothers?
- Mario Brothers?
136
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,600
- Then who's this?
- Oh! That's Ted...
137
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,630
Tris.
138
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,240
Ted Tris? And Mario Brothers?
139
00:06:57,970 --> 00:07:00,580
Welcome to the Russian marijuana cartel!
140
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,730
Tell me a little bit about
yourself Mario Brothers.
141
00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:10,070
I'm a plumber, and I've got
a brother named Luigi.
142
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:13,610
I've also had a bad history with
this fire-breathing turtle.
143
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,510
What the hell are you talking about, Steve?
144
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,130
I see that I'm the only one
that worked on my back story.
145
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,490
As you can see, our crops are suffering.
146
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:26,790
Last grower did a terrible job.
Sadly, he passed away.
147
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:27,820
From what?
148
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:32,390
From me shooting him
multiple times in the brain.
149
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,140
That's not funny.
150
00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:36,270
But that should not be problem for you two.
151
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,430
All you need to do is to make
these sick, near-death plants
152
00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:40,600
flourish like they've
never flourished before.
153
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,600
You have one week.
154
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,590
Uh, hypothetically, what if the
plants need a extra day or two?
155
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,990
That's fine. As long as you
don't mind getting, eh...
156
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,160
How you say? Punched in the kisser?
157
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,760
Punched in the kisser?
Woo, that don't sound so bad.
158
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,760
In Russia, punch means stab
and kisser means anus hole.
159
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,210
A whole week? Heh! Weeks are for pussies.
160
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,890
- We can do it by tomorrow.
- Okay, Mr. Brothers.
161
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:08,020
Plants grow by tomorrow, or you die.
162
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,300
Good luck!
163
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:13,850
We've got him right where we want him.
164
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:15,670
You stupid dumb ass!
165
00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:17,020
How could you promise we
could turn this schwag
166
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:19,060
into bomb-diggity chronic by tomorrow?
167
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:22,480
Look at this big-ass field.
It's nothing but seeds and stems.
168
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,850
Don't you know how to grow this stuff?
169
00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:26,900
Steve, I don't grow this shit.
I smoke this shit!
170
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,380
Well, not to worry.
171
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,890
Your pal Mario's got two green thumbs.
172
00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:33,280
Three, if you count my penis.
173
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,040
I should probably get to a hospital.
174
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,150
Stupid Woody trying to change me.
175
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:41,380
I don't need bear beans to be Malloy.
176
00:08:41,380 --> 00:08:43,710
Woody, you know how fat you are?
177
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:46,220
Uh... About...
178
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,720
Average for an American man your age.
179
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,550
Ethel, you look lovely.
180
00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:53,120
What the hell am I saying?
181
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,120
Connie, the dyke store called...
182
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,200
And they've apologized...
183
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,200
For their very offensive name.
184
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:03,680
Grow! Grow, damn you, grow!
185
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,520
Or do you want this to happen to you?
186
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,590
They don't even respond to threats.
187
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,010
We dead. I knew it.
188
00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:14,040
Wait a minute. I remember something.
189
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,680
His testicles are producing
large amounts of testosterone.
190
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,870
He'll be full-grown practically overnight.
191
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:22,950
- Overnight. Overnight.
- That's it!
192
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,260
Steve, have you lost your goddamn mind?
193
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,500
This is your plan? Bear ball juice?
194
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,330
It's testosterone.
195
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:40,110
- Didn't you see my thought bubble?
- Man, I'm getting outta here.
196
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:44,430
White people do some (Bleeped) up shit.
197
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:48,910
Connie? What the hell are you doing?
198
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:51,510
You wouldn't loan me money, and
I needed to call my psychic,
199
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,480
so I'm selling this hot ass.
200
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,980
Eh, how's that been going for ya?
201
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,320
Not bad.
202
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,950
Most people speed up.
203
00:09:57,950 --> 00:10:00,400
One guy swerved to hit
me, and a couple hunters
204
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,450
shot at me because they
thought I was a bison.
205
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:03,940
I tell you what.
206
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:06,230
Here's a number for a new psychic named...
207
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,500
Madam Ethlia. Uh, Etheliola.
208
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:12,530
- Eth... Ethelopia.
- Madam Ethelia?
209
00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:15,430
Sure, whatever.
She's the best, and she's totally free.
210
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:17,840
Hot dog. I'm gonna call her right now.
211
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,980
A-a-all right. See ya, Connie.
212
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:23,280
- Hello?
- Madam Ethelia?
213
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,950
- My name is Connie.
- Oh, Connie, yes, I know.
214
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:28,880
I was expecting your call.
215
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,390
Expecting my call? Wow, you are psychic.
216
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,560
Hop on in!
217
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,360
I have always wanted to
have sex with a bison.
218
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,020
Uh...
219
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,810
Man, I hate Mother Nature.
220
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:43,110
Why'd she have to make all these trees
and scary spiders and animals and shit?
221
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,090
They're coming for me!
222
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,310
No. Just need to stay calm.
223
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:51,090
I bet this would help squash my paranoia.
224
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,480
- Hey, son.
- Pops?
225
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,330
- Damn, this is some good shit.
- I'm proud of you, boy.
226
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:58,820
- You finally an undercover cop.
- I don't wanna be!
227
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,350
Some bad dude's about to kill me.
228
00:11:00,350 --> 00:11:02,720
- What should I do?
- Just do what I always did.
229
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,540
Don't fake no funk, don't jiggity-jive,
230
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,600
and if they give you the
smack-'em-whack-'em,
231
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,870
you dipsy-doodle them cats right back.
232
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,890
- What?
- Shit, boy.
233
00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:14,620
You best get with it.
234
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:16,720
I gotta stop smokin' weed.
235
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,900
Ooh, there's the road!
236
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,210
- Oh, man.
- Morning, Ted Tris!
237
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:27,040
So excited to see how you make plants grow.
238
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,640
Get in car, or I shoot you.
239
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:34,150
Hoo, whew! I'm tired.
240
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:39,050
Oh, boy, I'm gonna just rest here.
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
241
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,240
You're black and funny like the Urkel.
242
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:45,090
Oh, well. Can you at least cut my
throat before you stab my asshole?
243
00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:47,190
Big enough for ya?
244
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,090
You are super, Mario Brothers!
245
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,440
Mario, you are genius. Brilliant.
246
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,440
You are my number one guy.
247
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,430
Tell me... Anyone disrespect you?
248
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:03,340
No, no, no, no. Not at all.
249
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:07,360
Eh, well, earlier, I sneezed, and
Ivan didn't say "bless you."
250
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,690
That... That doesn't...
251
00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:10,190
Holy shit!
252
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,730
And now I have no son.
253
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,330
That was your son?
254
00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:16,140
Oh, my God. You must really like me.
255
00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:18,800
Keep this up, and you will be a made man.
256
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:23,470
Really? That's even cooler than being
an undercover cop... Not that I am one.
257
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:27,310
Now, what do you comrades need?
Nothing is too good for you.
258
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:31,930
Aw, we're simple men. We don't need much.
259
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,980
Steve, this undercover stuff has been fun,
260
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,680
but I'm a little worried
we're getting in too deep.
261
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,150
Don't be ridiculous.
262
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:40,290
Uh, gentlemen, your lunch as requested...
263
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:44,490
An endangered white tiger
carcass full of crunch berries.
264
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:48,410
I told you to take out all the blue ones!
265
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:50,430
You know, Steve, we aren't
actually doing any police work.
266
00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:52,300
What do you mean?
267
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:56,700
We've sacrificed everything to eliminate
the evil scourge that is drugs.
268
00:12:56,710 --> 00:13:00,280
Now, come on, let's do some blow and relax.
269
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,510
Doc.
270
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:04,450
Is it possible to reattach
a pair of testicles?
271
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,910
No.
272
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,880
That's what a licensed doctor would say.
273
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:12,230
But lucky for you, I have an unhealthy
obsession with experimental medicine.
274
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:14,840
Bring me your gonads, and I'll
be happy to reattach them.
275
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:20,740
Heck, for the right price, I'd
even sew a dick to your forehead.
276
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,660
- Hola.
- Hi, Madame Ethelia.
277
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,850
Will I find true love?
278
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,640
Hola.
279
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,440
What's next month's $5 footlong gonna be?
280
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,110
Why do my pits smell like fried chicken?
281
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,590
How many fingers am I holding up?
282
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,450
When will the robots take over?
283
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:42,020
- Ah! Stop!
- Oh, Ethel, please.
284
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:46,320
If you keep screaming, we'll
never find my car keys.
285
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,560
Woody, that pot farm is
bigger than we thought.
286
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,390
It's run by the Russian Cartel.
287
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:52,090
I've infiltrated the organization,
288
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:54,830
and they're inducting me into
their inner circle tonight.
289
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:57,900
Wow, Steve, I'm impressed.
Did you gather any evidence?
290
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,300
Of course I did.
291
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,900
I am Nikolai. I am a bad man.
292
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,770
I grow drugs. Then I sell them.
293
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,710
That's you on the tape, Steve.
294
00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:09,380
Duh, it's a reenactment. I wasn't gonna
take a recorder in there. They'd kill me.
295
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,320
Well, congratulations, Steve.
296
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,210
You're the stupidest son of a
bitch in the history of Earth.
297
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,030
I don't have to take this.
298
00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:18,050
I'm going back to the cartel for good.
299
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:21,210
They respect me and think I'm a genius!
300
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,050
Hey, genius.
301
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:23,840
You just walked into the shitter.
302
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,440
Steve, do you know where Woody hid my
balls, I can't find them anywhere?
303
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,340
Balls? What balls? I didn't take any balls.
304
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:34,220
I didn't say you took them.
But I will say nice outfit. Looks snazzy.
305
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:36,800
Did I just say snazzy? Okay. I wanna die.
306
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,340
Come on, Denzel. Let's get back to work.
307
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,470
Steve, I'm staying here. You should too.
308
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:43,610
We're in over our heads, man.
It's not safe.
309
00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:45,450
I can't believe you're giving up.
310
00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:48,080
You are a disgrace to your family name.
311
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,450
Jackson? I'm pretty sure I'm not
the one who disgraced that name.
312
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,120
What is matter, Mario?
313
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,920
Aren't you excited about initiation?
314
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,140
Eh, my stupid boss...
315
00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:02,800
Er, Woody, who is not my boss
because I'm not a Park Ranger.
316
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,630
I'm a drug manager.
Is that what we're called?
317
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:07,970
This Woody, he disrespected you?
318
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:12,010
- I will take care of it.
- Thank you.
319
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:15,070
No "gesundheit," mama?
320
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,380
No one in this family has manners.
321
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:18,980
It's the truth, Malloy.
322
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:21,050
I don't know what happened to your testes.
323
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,750
Jeesh, I'm just as upset as you are.
324
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:25,450
Oh, have you been castrated this week?
Because I have.
325
00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:32,190
You've played Mario
Brothers for the last time.
326
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:42,820
Mario, before you're accepted
into our inner circle,
327
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:45,010
you need to go through rite of passage.
328
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,910
Sure, what is it? Swallow a goldfish?
329
00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:49,350
Shotgun a beer?
Jerk off a mall Santa? What?
330
00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:52,800
Kill this man, and you will
be cartel member for life.
331
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,260
Best part is this is your mortal enemy.
332
00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:58,300
Bowser?
333
00:15:58,690 --> 00:16:00,200
Steve?
334
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,960
Who is Steve?
335
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,830
I-I don't know. Not me, that's for sure.
336
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,800
Nobody calls Mario "Steve"!
337
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,500
Please kill him.
338
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,770
Ethel, you look so tired.
339
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,110
What, do you got stuff on your mind?
340
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:16,240
You should totally call madam Ethelia.
341
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,580
I talk to her all day and all night.
342
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:22,450
Connie, what if you found out that
the psychic you've been talking to
343
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:27,120
wasn't a real psychic, but just a
good friend with a really great body?
344
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,820
Hmm, let's see.
345
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,320
I guess I'd be as crushed as I've ever been
346
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,990
and might even kill myself
and a few co-workers too.
347
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,200
Hmm, okay.
348
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:41,170
Well, what if she made, like, a huge
prediction and, just got it way wrong?
349
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:43,100
Would that make you stop
believing in psychics?
350
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,640
Yeah, I guess it would.
351
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,990
Well, you should call her right now.
352
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:52,780
Connie, so glad you called.
I have a big, huge prediction for you.
353
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,950
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. What is it?
354
00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:59,420
Um... The morning sun
will turn black as night.
355
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:01,850
All the birds will fall from the sky.
356
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:05,300
Uh, also, blood will flow from...
357
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,290
Your head and, uh...
358
00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:09,730
Your left, um cankle.
359
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:12,910
Oh, no, not my cankle.
360
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:16,900
I hope everyone's okay.
Should I do something?
361
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,170
No. No, Denzel.
Don't wanna end up like your daddy.
362
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:24,380
Oh, I see. You don't wanna end up
like the old man, pushin' up petals,
363
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,610
- discoing with dirt?
- No, pops, I was just...
364
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,150
What's up, boy?
You all 'fraidy like a house cat?
365
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:32,750
Yes, yes! I'm 'fraidy, okay?
366
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:34,820
Because I don't wanna die like you, pops.
367
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,360
Let me tell you something, son.
368
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:39,430
Them corner boys may have
iced me, but you know what?
369
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:42,930
At least I went out doing the right
thing with my head held high.
370
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:48,830
Slammin', blammin', whammin', jammin',
prammin', crammin', dammin', lammin'.
371
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,000
Can you honestly say that about yourself?
372
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,910
I can't say that at all because I don't
know what the (Bleep) you saying.
373
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:56,110
Steve, please.
374
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,480
Don't kill me.
375
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,280
I'm sorry I called you the stupidest
son of a bitch on the planet.
376
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:07,100
I'm sure there are plenty of
assholes dumber than you are!
377
00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:09,250
Steve, if you kill me, I'll fire you!
378
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:11,860
Come on, Mario. What are you waiting for?
379
00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:14,080
Kill him!
380
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:18,430
I'm sorry. That man's right.
381
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,170
My name is Steve.
382
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:22,570
I'm a tree cop, and proud of it.
383
00:18:22,570 --> 00:18:26,860
And now, I'm going to arrest all of you.
384
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:31,310
Okay. How about if I only
arrest a couple of you?
385
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,310
Stop, everyone! Or I destroy these.
386
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:36,280
You bastard, you stole my fun plums!
387
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,190
That's right. These fun plums are
the secret behind your giant weed.
388
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:43,520
And if you shoot me,
you'll just be shooting...
389
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,320
No!
390
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:49,370
My cub makers!
391
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:54,430
They're gone!
392
00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:57,380
Okay, the bear lost his cub makers.
393
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,850
Now you die.
394
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:04,740
Yo, jive turkeys!
Pimp trampy and shrimp scampi!
395
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:07,990
And, uh, I don't know.
396
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:34,520
Connie, how long are you
gonna stare at the sun?
397
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,740
I am pretty sure nothing is gonna happen.
398
00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:40,170
Oh, no? Then what's that?
399
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:51,920
Oh, my God. The sun. The birds.
400
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:54,430
The blood from my head and bloated cankle.
401
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:55,900
Miss Ethelia was right.
402
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,270
I'm gonna call her every day
for the rest of my life.
403
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:02,450
Oh, shit. I'm psychic.
404
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:13,510
Stop! Or I'll slit his fat,
bullfrog-like throat.
405
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:15,010
I don't think so.
406
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:18,380
- Oh!
- Oops! Heh, sorry.
407
00:20:20,450 --> 00:20:24,710
There's something wrong with this gun.
408
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,300
I warmed it up for you.
409
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,530
I feel like hammered shit.
410
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,030
Rest easy, boss.
411
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,570
I'm glad everything turned out fine.
412
00:20:33,570 --> 00:20:35,430
Yeah, Steve. I'm sorry I doubted ya.
413
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,310
Breaking up that Russian
Cartel took some balls.
414
00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:42,140
Speaking of balls, mine are killing me.
415
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,280
What? Doc, what the hell...
416
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,380
Where are my balls?
Where the hell are my balls?
417
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:51,050
Oh, it's quite simple, Woody.
You looked dead, and I hate taking pulses.
418
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,070
And since you are an organ donor...
419
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,770
Payback's a bitch.
30918
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