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1
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:10,458
Do you know who this place
reminds me of? Daley Thompson.
2
00:00:10,498 --> 00:00:13,017
Summer of 1980.
3
00:00:13,018 --> 00:00:15,858
Daley Thompson got a gold
medal in Moscow.
4
00:00:16,858 --> 00:00:19,618
We got an airport in Broughty Ferry.
5
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,280
And the boo boys didnae like
that.
6
00:00:21,339 --> 00:00:23,497
Och, the boo boys didnae like
anything.
7
00:00:23,498 --> 00:00:29,019
They said no-one would use
this place, but now... three
flights a week to London!
8
00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:33,658
Twice a fortnight to
Manchester, and Belfast
every other month!
9
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:34,857
That shut them up.
10
00:00:34,858 --> 00:00:36,859
Well, that's what we're faced
with, you see?
11
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:41,218
When you show ambition in
Broughty Ferry, people drag
ye down.
12
00:00:41,219 --> 00:00:44,177
I get it all the time
because of the extension.
13
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,537
People call me flashy or...
Arrogant.
14
00:00:46,538 --> 00:00:48,579
Too successful or...
Fantasist.
15
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:50,938
Who called me that?
16
00:00:50,939 --> 00:00:52,498
Oh! Oh!
17
00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:54,499
Did you see that?
18
00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:04,901
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
19
00:01:10,179 --> 00:01:12,659
Hey, Georgie!
20
00:01:26,339 --> 00:01:29,978
I didn't think they'd be
so... young. Sexy.
21
00:01:29,979 --> 00:01:32,619
Young. No, no, yeah,
I meant to say young.
22
00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:36,499
Young's fine. Naive, no
experience.
23
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,697
There's a lot of them,
though, Bob.
24
00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:44,337
Ah, well, you take care of the
backing band, Frank. I'll take
care of Elvis.
25
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:45,659
Is that the Lady Provost?
26
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:47,818
Oh, aye.
27
00:01:47,819 --> 00:01:49,378
Mm.
28
00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:51,539
Showing off her special
necklace.
29
00:01:53,099 --> 00:01:54,939
Let's roll.
30
00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:05,658
Nice and easy.
31
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,059
You're just a man driving a
taxi.
32
00:02:19,379 --> 00:02:24,137
Have you ever tailed anyone
before, pal? We should be
two cars back.
33
00:02:24,138 --> 00:02:26,379
We should be using stolen
numberplates.
34
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,579
That's bank robbers, Frank.
35
00:02:31,139 --> 00:02:33,818
Have you not got a spare shirt?
36
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:37,098
Why would I have a spare
shirt? Swap with him.
37
00:02:37,099 --> 00:02:39,977
Oh, Bob, no.
I don't think he'd be up for it.
38
00:02:39,978 --> 00:02:43,177
Of course he will.
It's all part of the service. On
you go.
39
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:45,579
Er... excuse me.
We're not swapping shirts.
40
00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:50,139
This is what we're up against.
41
00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:55,379
You're too close!
42
00:03:02,299 --> 00:03:04,857
Are we ready to rock and roll?
Let's have a round of
applause.
43
00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:08,059
A round of applause for our
interns. Looks like a good
atmosphere.
44
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,378
Nuremberg had a good
atmosphere.
45
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:12,697
Didnae have photocopiers
like that at Nuremberg.
46
00:03:12,698 --> 00:03:16,097
Thank God for that. So, we've got
four weeks to go, he couldn't be in
better hands.
47
00:03:16,098 --> 00:03:18,379
We have faith in you.
We trust you. Just get it right.
48
00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:22,378
Right, OK, thank you so
much. Right, action stations.
49
00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:25,539
That's the independent
candidate. Hi. Can I help you?
50
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:27,498
No.
51
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,418
But I can help you.
52
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:33,178
I'm Bob Servant.
53
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,619
The independent candidate.
Lovely to meet you.
54
00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:36,858
Oh, that's right.
55
00:03:36,859 --> 00:03:39,377
You're the, um...
you're the dog man, aren't
you?
56
00:03:39,378 --> 00:03:41,617
The dog man?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That
was...
57
00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:44,457
Well, you said you'd ban
dogs? Shoot dogs.
58
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,137
Broughty Ferry FM. Heh!
You know what they're like.
59
00:03:47,138 --> 00:03:50,179
Ha-ha. No, not really.
Bunch of shock jocks.
60
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,218
Anyway...
61
00:03:52,219 --> 00:03:54,938
Who is this lovely young lady?
62
00:03:54,939 --> 00:03:56,818
Phillippa Edwards.
63
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,338
Nick's wife.
Oh, wonderful.
64
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:02,258
Are you doing the
sandwiches? Er... no.
65
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,897
I'm the campaign manager.
Oh, that's good of you.
66
00:04:04,898 --> 00:04:07,777
I've been my husband's
political manager for ten years
now.
67
00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:09,617
Ah, no of fence, but it's
unusual
68
00:04:09,618 --> 00:04:12,099
for powerful men
to take orders frae their wives.
69
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,458
Er... Torvill and Dean?
Oh, Frank.
70
00:04:14,459 --> 00:04:16,218
Frank, I mean,
71
00:04:16,219 --> 00:04:19,137
I know these two have been
putting up posters like they
own the place,
72
00:04:19,138 --> 00:04:21,497
but even they wouldn't be
arrogant enough to claim
73
00:04:21,498 --> 00:04:24,217
that they are the new Torvill
and Dean!
74
00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:26,659
That's not a claim we'll be
making.
75
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:27,698
Good.
76
00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:31,378
And Frank's my campaign
manager. Ah.
77
00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:33,379
He's no' my wife, though.
Ha-ha-ha.
78
00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:36,419
He's no' married.
Through choice!
79
00:04:37,419 --> 00:04:41,338
Anyway, we just thought we'd
say... hello,
80
00:04:41,339 --> 00:04:45,298
and if you need any help,
I'm a big fish round here.
81
00:04:45,299 --> 00:04:47,059
I'm sure.
So...
82
00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:51,938
Welcome to Broughty Ferry.
83
00:04:51,939 --> 00:04:54,098
Welcome to politics.
84
00:04:54,099 --> 00:04:55,538
Welcome...
85
00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:58,099
to Broughty Ferry.
86
00:04:59,139 --> 00:05:02,018
I'm doing the welcoming.
Right.
87
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:04,219
That's the point here, I think.
All done!
88
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:08,097
Where are your campaign
offices? Bob's hoose.
89
00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:09,817
No' in my hoose, in my
extension.
90
00:05:09,818 --> 00:05:13,337
And we'll be buying plenty of
this gear. Don't you worry
about that. Ha-ha!
91
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:16,217
Well, I don't think
you'll need quite this much.
92
00:05:16,218 --> 00:05:18,379
Do you have local
volunteers? One.
93
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:20,498
Only one?
Thousand.
94
00:05:20,499 --> 00:05:21,698
A thousand?
95
00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:25,218
Thereaboots. You know, up a
bit.
96
00:05:25,219 --> 00:05:28,498
So, we are going to need
plenty of this stuff.
97
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:31,298
Well, now's your chance.
98
00:05:31,299 --> 00:05:34,819
Excuse me. I think this chap
would like to place an order.
99
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:36,539
Fire away.
100
00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:43,299
Oh, well, I'll maybe, er... take
a couple of these, as you're
here.
101
00:05:50,779 --> 00:05:52,217
You got anything bigger?
102
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,977
Bigger? No, that's an
industrial copier.
103
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,339
Well, I've seen bigger.
Where?
104
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:57,459
Arbroath.
105
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:01,138
Oh!
How much?
106
00:06:01,139 --> 00:06:03,499
Well, these guys are renting.
Renting?
107
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,498
Ha-ha! Well, I'd be buying.
108
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,298
I mean, I play for keeps.
109
00:06:08,299 --> 00:06:10,459
18 grand?
110
00:06:11,659 --> 00:06:16,139
Have you got a colour one?
Yeah, well, they're all colour,
mate.
111
00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:18,339
There's a... Hey.
112
00:06:24,139 --> 00:06:26,098
Kind of buzzing.
113
00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:28,498
You know, I'm getting that.
114
00:06:28,499 --> 00:06:30,339
Really?
Oh, it's stopped now.
115
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,099
OK.
116
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:44,578
Awfy, awfy nice.
117
00:06:44,579 --> 00:06:46,458
Yeah.
118
00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:50,178
Oh, er... has it got the
internet?
119
00:06:50,179 --> 00:06:52,498
Well, no.
Oh, shame, pal.
120
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,697
Better luck next time.
121
00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:56,379
We'd have bought twa,
if they were the right ones.
122
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:59,179
I'm just sending you a message.
123
00:07:03,059 --> 00:07:05,099
Deep pockets.
124
00:07:06,419 --> 00:07:07,537
Message received.
125
00:07:07,538 --> 00:07:10,897
Well, we have a very busy
afternoon with a lot of
meetings, so...
126
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:15,539
Oh, I would no' like to think...
Ha! ...how many meetings I've
got! Ha-ha-ha!
127
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:17,618
One.
128
00:07:17,619 --> 00:07:18,659
Thousand.
129
00:07:22,699 --> 00:07:25,378
Oh, here he is! Old Scrooge
himself.
130
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:29,777
Mr Servant, I'm relieved to
see you. I've sent you a
number of letters...
131
00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:32,537
How's that wife of yours
doing? I'm divorced. You
know that.
132
00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:36,297
I know, just a bit of banter before
we start. Well, that's hardly what I
would call banter.
133
00:07:36,298 --> 00:07:39,497
I've got three kids. All right.
Slept in my car for a month. Right.
134
00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:43,337
Down to business. I'm gonnae
chuck a bit mair money at the
campaign. Mr Servant...
135
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,857
And that cash I made when I
sold the vans, I'm gonnae
throw it all in. Why not?
136
00:07:46,858 --> 00:07:49,777
Mr Servant, I've sent you
a number of letters
137
00:07:49,778 --> 00:07:52,059
after I had a difficult
conversation on your behalf.
138
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,698
Who with?
139
00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:55,899
With the Inland Revenue
about your tax...
140
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,298
Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
141
00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:00,097
I'll stop you there.
Sorry?
142
00:08:00,098 --> 00:08:01,497
As you're well aware,
143
00:08:01,498 --> 00:08:06,017
I will not allow you to use
certain words in my presence
for legal reasons.
144
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:10,217
I am aware of that, and I'm
also aware that this is why
we're in this position!
145
00:08:10,218 --> 00:08:14,897
If I don't hear them words then
I don't know about it and I'm
legally protected!
146
00:08:14,898 --> 00:08:20,299
As I've told you many times,
this is not the case! We have
to able to discuss this.
147
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,498
I don't want to.
148
00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:25,739
Do you want to go to prison?
149
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,539
Fine. Fine!
150
00:08:36,219 --> 00:08:42,178
Let's say you were talking
to Daley Thompson... aboot
biscuits.
151
00:08:42,179 --> 00:08:45,058
And perhaps... perhaps
152
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:50,219
Daley Thompson thinks
I haven't sent him enough
biscuits.
153
00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:53,498
Fine, I spoke to Daley Thompson
154
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:58,418
and he says that there is a
shortfall in your biscuit
contributions.
155
00:08:58,419 --> 00:09:01,899
Well, I respect Daley as an
athlete, but in this case he's
talking bollocks.
156
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,818
Daley says that you have not
sent him enough biscuits
157
00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:08,938
in the last four consecutive
tax years.
158
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:12,178
Er...
Biscuit years.
159
00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,738
He's worked out
how many biscuits you owe
him.
160
00:09:15,739 --> 00:09:18,419
Oh, he has, has he?
Yes.
161
00:09:22,099 --> 00:09:24,419
That's what he's looking for.
162
00:09:25,779 --> 00:09:26,979
Sweet Jesus.
163
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,939
Is that biscuits or pounds?
Pounds.
164
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,338
It's pounds, right.
165
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,939
Well, that's the last
of the cheeseburger money.
166
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,218
Mr Servant.
167
00:09:37,219 --> 00:09:41,858
As your accountant,
I would probably advise you
168
00:09:41,859 --> 00:09:45,098
to spend as little as possible
169
00:09:45,099 --> 00:09:48,539
on this... campaign.
170
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:53,178
And I presume
that has come out of my fees?
171
00:09:53,179 --> 00:09:56,179
It's the Lady Provost's
dinner tonight. Did you get
invited?
172
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,699
I did.
173
00:10:02,659 --> 00:10:04,699
Is Daley Thompson going?
174
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,418
You work your whole life.
175
00:10:08,419 --> 00:10:11,257
You sell thousands,
millions of cheeseburgers.
176
00:10:11,258 --> 00:10:13,537
You make the people
of Broughty Ferry happy.
177
00:10:13,538 --> 00:10:16,699
And then the Government
pops up and says, "Oh, hello!
178
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,938
"Hello!
179
00:10:17,939 --> 00:10:21,257
"You see when you made the
people happy by selling them
cheeseburgers?
180
00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:25,177
"Well, the money they gave
you for making them happy,
that's actually ours.
181
00:10:25,178 --> 00:10:28,057
"Even though they gave it to
you for the cheeseburgers,
182
00:10:28,058 --> 00:10:29,537
"they're meant to give it to us
183
00:10:29,538 --> 00:10:34,097
"so would you kindly, you
know, sort of, you know, just
pass the money along
184
00:10:34,098 --> 00:10:36,459
"but still give them the
cheeseburgers?"
185
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:40,418
It doesn't add up, Bob.
It does not add up.
186
00:10:40,419 --> 00:10:44,978
And again the Government
pops up and says, "Oh, hello!
Hello!
187
00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:50,057
"Just to let you know that
once again you are not invited
to the Provost's dinner.
188
00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:54,819
"But you see that guy who
slept in his car for a month
when his wife left him?
189
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,938
"He's invited."
190
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:59,179
Un-fucking-believable!
191
00:11:00,179 --> 00:11:03,059
Here, Bob, my turn tae choose.
192
00:11:09,739 --> 00:11:11,699
Why do you
always bring me here, Frank?
193
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,098
It's so depressing.
194
00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:18,217
Because it's cheap, Bob, and
it sounds like we should be
making sacrifices.
195
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:21,099
I'm sacrificing my dignity
coming into this place.
196
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,778
Oh, here he is!
197
00:11:22,779 --> 00:11:25,139
How are you, Stewpot?
198
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:27,498
No' too bad.
199
00:11:27,499 --> 00:11:29,978
Couple of pints, please.
200
00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:33,218
Aye.
201
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,059
Best pint in Broughty Ferry!
202
00:11:39,459 --> 00:11:40,818
Have you, er...
203
00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:42,897
done the place up, Stewpot?
No.
204
00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,457
It's looking good.
Oh, very good, very good.
205
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,297
Oh, I love it in here. Love it!
206
00:11:47,298 --> 00:11:51,739
It reminds me of that,
er... American TV show. Oh,
you know the one. Er...
207
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:54,698
♪ Where everybody knows
your nay-ay-ame
208
00:11:54,699 --> 00:11:57,218
♪ Ha-da diddle-la-pah
tee-tee-tee
209
00:11:57,219 --> 00:12:00,298
♪ Da-da diddle,
da-da-diddle... ♪
210
00:12:00,299 --> 00:12:01,898
Er...
211
00:12:01,899 --> 00:12:04,138
♪ ...Knows your name. ♪
212
00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:05,178
The Cosby Show.
213
00:12:05,179 --> 00:12:07,819
Cheers.
Cheers!
214
00:12:09,259 --> 00:12:10,539
Got us oot of that one.
215
00:12:11,779 --> 00:12:13,938
Listen, Bob.
Improvisation.
216
00:12:13,939 --> 00:12:16,178
Bob, what are we gonna dae,
217
00:12:16,179 --> 00:12:19,217
when the Edwards boy starts
throwing his money aboot?
218
00:12:19,218 --> 00:12:21,899
Oh, it's no' aboot money,
Frank, it's aboot people.
219
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:25,098
Well, then let's get oot there,
Bob.
220
00:12:25,099 --> 00:12:28,777
You're the man with the ideas.
I mean, this lot need to hear
that.
221
00:12:28,778 --> 00:12:30,857
This lot? Never mind aboot
the punters!
222
00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:32,857
Broughty Ferry's run by the
big fish.
223
00:12:32,858 --> 00:12:34,937
Always has been, always will
be.
224
00:12:34,938 --> 00:12:37,857
We want to get out there in
front of the movers and the
shakers.
225
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,497
The Lady Provost? The
Provost's dinner?
226
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,699
That's where all the big fish'll
be.
227
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:46,098
Well, then, let us go fishing.
228
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,178
And we're no' invited.
229
00:12:48,179 --> 00:12:49,418
Frank.
230
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:54,259
When Jesus went to that
birthday party and turned the
bread into wine,
231
00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:55,779
was he invited?
232
00:12:56,779 --> 00:13:00,179
Well, probably. I mean...
I mean, if he could dae that.
233
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,978
This is appalling.
234
00:13:05,979 --> 00:13:09,858
Hello, love!
Bob Servant to see the
Provost.
235
00:13:09,859 --> 00:13:11,819
I'm afraid the Lady Provost's
out for the day.
236
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:13,458
Where?
237
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,537
She has a lunch and then
she's reopening the harbour
play park.
238
00:13:16,538 --> 00:13:20,059
Another play park!
She must open aboot ten of
them a year.
239
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,938
She just likes the swings.
240
00:13:21,939 --> 00:13:24,459
Where is she having lunch?
I can't give out that
information.
241
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:27,858
Sorry.
Hen, I'm standing in the
by-election.
242
00:13:27,859 --> 00:13:30,579
Diplomatic immunity.
I'm sorry.
243
00:13:31,739 --> 00:13:35,538
I need to know where the
Provost is.
244
00:13:35,539 --> 00:13:38,419
It's about her son.
She doesn't have a son.
245
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:42,099
That's what she thinks.
246
00:13:44,059 --> 00:13:46,938
Oh, I see. Talking about
boys?
247
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,538
Miss Edwards.
Ms.
248
00:13:48,539 --> 00:13:51,698
Your Holiness.
Hello, Mr Servant.
249
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:54,498
Well, I really should be
going. Rhona.
250
00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:57,098
Rhona, I need two minutes.
251
00:13:57,099 --> 00:13:58,979
Sorry, I've official business.
252
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,498
Aye, on the swings?
253
00:14:00,499 --> 00:14:02,939
Nice to meet you.
Pleasure.
254
00:14:04,939 --> 00:14:07,098
That looked very cosy.
255
00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:08,858
Did it?
256
00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:11,698
My sources tell me...
257
00:14:11,699 --> 00:14:15,698
that she was at the airport this
morning.
258
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:18,178
She welcomed us to Broughty
Ferry.
259
00:14:18,179 --> 00:14:21,057
I just met her to hand in
our election nomination
forms.
260
00:14:21,058 --> 00:14:24,737
I'm sure your campaign
manager has already handed
them in?
261
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,537
Don't have a go at him. He's
just started.
262
00:14:26,538 --> 00:14:28,779
Where are your thousand
volunteers?
263
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:31,019
Lunch break.
264
00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:36,218
Hi, Bob.
265
00:14:36,219 --> 00:14:38,058
I see.
266
00:14:38,059 --> 00:14:41,619
You know, gentlemen, we
have come up against
independent candidates before.
267
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,979
Not... like me.
268
00:14:44,979 --> 00:14:47,258
Just like you.
269
00:14:47,259 --> 00:14:49,898
They're always the same.
270
00:14:49,899 --> 00:14:53,177
Locals with a bit of a
reputation who fancy the
spotlight.
271
00:14:53,178 --> 00:14:54,657
And then along comes polling
day,
272
00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:58,059
and they discover that they
haven't got quite as many
friends as they thought.
273
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,498
Then what happens?
274
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,258
They're humiliated.
275
00:15:01,259 --> 00:15:03,178
Totally
276
00:15:03,179 --> 00:15:05,619
and utterly humiliated.
277
00:15:08,979 --> 00:15:11,818
Oh...
Frank, let's go to the play
park.
278
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:12,979
Right, Bob.
279
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:16,617
I am very proud to be here
today to open this play park...
280
00:15:16,618 --> 00:15:20,017
Ah, you give someone a
special necklace... and I'd
especially like to thank...
281
00:15:20,018 --> 00:15:24,139
The next thing you know,
they're walking round a play park
like Mother Teresa.
282
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,578
I would like to declare this
play park...
283
00:15:27,579 --> 00:15:29,819
officially reopened.
284
00:15:31,219 --> 00:15:32,578
Thank you.
285
00:15:32,579 --> 00:15:35,257
You know, Frank, the
Provost's dinner...
286
00:15:35,258 --> 00:15:37,339
it's no' something
I've ever fancied going to.
287
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:39,698
Well, you've never been
invited.
288
00:15:39,699 --> 00:15:43,779
Well, that's because they
probably think I'd turn it doon,
and I usually would.
289
00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:49,658
But, you see, this year, Frank,
this year, I need in, I need in,
290
00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:52,898
because she is like...
291
00:15:52,899 --> 00:15:54,299
Willy Wonka.
292
00:15:55,619 --> 00:15:59,499
She looks at the people of
Broughty Ferry, and then she
picks one.
293
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,699
And once you're picked, that's
you.
294
00:16:03,659 --> 00:16:05,617
Life will never be the same
again.
295
00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:07,579
Just like Willy Wonka in the
film.
296
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:11,858
He looked at the people,
he picked that young boy,
297
00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:16,619
and then Wonka took that
lovely young boy and put him
in golden underpants.
298
00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:20,539
And then Wonka led that boy
by the hand...
299
00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:24,177
and walked off into the disco.
300
00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:26,937
No. Well, you know, Frank, you
know what? No, that's no'...
301
00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,139
No, that's no' what happened
in the film, Bob.
302
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,699
I'm going to the disco! Ha-ha!
303
00:16:32,939 --> 00:16:35,578
OK, big smile for me. OK.
304
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,818
That's great.
Let me come to your
dinner.
305
00:16:38,819 --> 00:16:40,298
Firstly,
306
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:43,617
I just heard you visited my
office and suggested I have
an illegitimate child.
307
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,857
Smile for me.
That was Frank. I tried to
stop him.
308
00:16:45,858 --> 00:16:49,817
Secondly, the dinner is for those
who have enhanced the lives of the
people of Broughty Ferry.
309
00:16:49,818 --> 00:16:54,697
I'm a Broughty Ferry success story.
Success story! Selling unhealthy
food from unregistered vans?
310
00:16:54,698 --> 00:16:58,257
That's what the public
wanted. You ruined local health
rates. Statistics.
311
00:16:58,258 --> 00:17:00,897
You targeted children.
They targeted me!
312
00:17:00,898 --> 00:17:03,417
You caused scurvy, Bob.
The two of you.
313
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:06,417
Oh, come on, Rhona, come
on. Let me come. Please,
Rhona. Rhona, please!
314
00:17:06,418 --> 00:17:09,699
Look, if you cause any
trouble, you're out straight
away.
315
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,738
Deal.
316
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,258
Big smile!
317
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:14,979
And that, Frankie boy, is
politics.
318
00:17:19,859 --> 00:17:26,418
I've lived here all my life,
Frank, and this is my first
Provost's dinner.
319
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:29,859
I've been out in the cold for 58
years.
320
00:17:31,619 --> 00:17:35,299
How long was Mandela on
that island, before Geldof got
him off?
321
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,338
A fair while.
322
00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:38,697
Not 58 years, though?
Nowhere near.
323
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,459
Do you know what I mean?
And people bang on about his
suffering.
324
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,178
The Provost's dinner!
325
00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:45,539
Oh! That's gonnae be
something else!
326
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:48,378
Oh, big names, big faces.
327
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:50,778
Absolute A-list!
328
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,379
And... you're looking good,
Bob.
329
00:17:54,779 --> 00:17:58,299
I am, and you're not
far behind me, Francis.
330
00:18:00,059 --> 00:18:01,458
We're the Rat Pack.
331
00:18:01,459 --> 00:18:04,858
Ho-ho! Frank Sinatra!
Dean Martin!
332
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,498
Steve Davis Junior. Ha-ha!
333
00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:09,379
Let's dance!
334
00:18:12,939 --> 00:18:14,539
Right, Frank!
335
00:18:16,059 --> 00:18:17,578
This is schmoozing.
336
00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:21,138
Schmoozing?
It's American for talking.
337
00:18:21,139 --> 00:18:23,779
I want you to get in there
and work the room.
338
00:18:30,659 --> 00:18:32,498
Oh.
339
00:18:32,499 --> 00:18:34,099
Don't mind if I do.
340
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:37,339
Lovely dress.
341
00:18:44,379 --> 00:18:46,698
Admiral.
Inspector.
342
00:18:46,699 --> 00:18:49,379
Listen, I'm doing a bit of
schmoozing here
343
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:53,898
and I want you to know
if I'm elected then your job is
safe.
344
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,619
That would not be your
decision.
345
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,618
Not officially.
Not at all.
346
00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:59,859
Glad to have your support.
You don't.
347
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,939
Cheers.
348
00:19:10,059 --> 00:19:12,497
You're the big man frae the
hospital, aren't you?
349
00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:13,979
I'm the Medical Director, yes.
350
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:17,778
Ah. I've seen you in the
papers with the big cheques.
351
00:19:17,779 --> 00:19:19,777
Always glad to receive
a charitable donation.
352
00:19:19,778 --> 00:19:22,299
Oh, I know, I know. Listen,
listen here.
353
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,938
If I'm elected, I wouldnae kick
up a fuss
354
00:19:25,939 --> 00:19:30,498
if, you know, one of them big
cheques should go, you
know...
355
00:19:30,499 --> 00:19:31,698
I don't follow.
356
00:19:31,699 --> 00:19:34,339
If one of them big cheques
should go, er...
357
00:19:40,499 --> 00:19:41,538
go missing.
358
00:19:41,539 --> 00:19:44,699
I find that extremely
offensive. Oh, so do I, Doc.
So do I.
359
00:19:47,259 --> 00:19:50,419
Have you got, er...
360
00:19:54,499 --> 00:19:56,378
any brothers or sisters?
361
00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:58,219
I must just go and find my
wife.
362
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,498
OK, fine.
363
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,498
Ladies and gentlemen!
364
00:20:02,499 --> 00:20:06,179
Please take your seats,
and if I may, I'll just say a few
words.
365
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:08,739
Absolutely! Carry on, hen!
366
00:20:22,019 --> 00:20:24,217
Due to the past two
harsh winters,
367
00:20:24,218 --> 00:20:27,777
some of our roads
have experienced extensive
damage.
368
00:20:27,778 --> 00:20:32,737
But I'm happy to say that
reconstruction work on this is
nearly complete.
369
00:20:32,738 --> 00:20:34,897
This year also showed
marked improvements
370
00:20:34,898 --> 00:20:37,219
of the sewage systems
around the Ellieslea Road
area.
371
00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,338
This is hopeless. Right.
372
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:43,178
With regards to the new
leisure centre...
373
00:20:43,179 --> 00:20:44,978
this has now...
374
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:47,458
OK! Well done. You had a go.
375
00:20:47,459 --> 00:20:49,579
I'm sorry?
Ah, well try again next year.
376
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:51,578
Eh, Rhona, hen? Come on.
377
00:20:51,579 --> 00:20:53,697
Come on, folks, come on!
Let's gie her something.
378
00:20:53,698 --> 00:20:57,419
Come on! Let's give her something.
There you go. There you go, hen.
379
00:20:57,420 --> 00:20:58,978
Well done, well done.
380
00:20:58,979 --> 00:21:01,498
Right, I'd better rescue this.
381
00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:03,458
Lock up your daughters.
382
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:05,538
Ladies and gentlemen!
383
00:21:05,539 --> 00:21:09,458
I want yous to forget aboot my
success
384
00:21:09,459 --> 00:21:12,218
and, if you can, my extension.
385
00:21:12,219 --> 00:21:14,498
Just see me for what I am.
386
00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:19,338
A local man who's worked
hard and has the hoose to
show for it,
387
00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:23,978
and who is the only choice
for the Broughty Ferry
by-election!
388
00:21:23,979 --> 00:21:25,937
This Edwards guy looks
pretty impressive.
389
00:21:25,938 --> 00:21:29,019
Oh, forget him.
I've heard he's got a big
team.
390
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,898
Well, I've seen bigger.
391
00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:33,298
Apparently they're very sexy.
392
00:21:33,299 --> 00:21:34,898
Who said that?
393
00:21:34,899 --> 00:21:37,538
Frank.
394
00:21:37,539 --> 00:21:39,177
Look, you lot don't know this
guy!
395
00:21:39,178 --> 00:21:41,899
I could tell you things about
him you just wouldnae
believe!
396
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,498
Go on.
Oh, he's done awful stuff.
397
00:21:45,499 --> 00:21:47,019
Awful stuff. X-rated stuff.
398
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:48,379
Such as?
399
00:21:49,379 --> 00:21:53,178
How about murder?
Is that bad enough for you?
400
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,098
Sorry?
No' here, no' on your beat.
401
00:21:56,099 --> 00:21:57,578
On his holidays.
402
00:21:57,579 --> 00:21:59,858
I heard he was in Tenerife
403
00:21:59,859 --> 00:22:04,419
and a man laughed at his
jumper and he strangled him.
404
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,139
Wi' the jumper.
405
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:09,619
Sorry we're late, everybody.
406
00:22:12,859 --> 00:22:14,299
Sorry we're late, everybody!
407
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,618
Er... Mr Edwards?
Yeah?
408
00:22:16,619 --> 00:22:18,459
Have you ever been to Tenerife?
409
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:20,618
Tenerife?
410
00:22:20,619 --> 00:22:23,779
No, can't say I've had the
pleasure. Didn't think so.
411
00:22:25,939 --> 00:22:26,978
Rumours.
412
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,897
Sorry, have I... disturbed
something?
413
00:22:28,898 --> 00:22:31,097
Mr Servant was telling us a
story.
414
00:22:31,098 --> 00:22:33,177
No, no, no! No, I've done. I've
done.
415
00:22:33,178 --> 00:22:36,457
Well, perhaps I could say a
few words. Oh, haud on,
haud on! I've still got the floor!
416
00:22:36,458 --> 00:22:40,339
We gave you a hearing, Mr
Servant! It's Mr Edwards's turn
now.
417
00:22:46,939 --> 00:22:48,259
Ladies and gentlemen.
418
00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:54,138
My wife and I left England this
morning as dawn was
breaking.
419
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:59,218
We had no idea that we
would find ourselves in a
place so charming,
420
00:22:59,219 --> 00:23:02,618
so hospitable and so beautiful.
421
00:23:02,619 --> 00:23:04,537
Christopher Columbus over
there.
422
00:23:04,538 --> 00:23:07,219
Walking around... Brochty
Ferry today...
423
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:10,058
Broughty Ferry.
..Broughty Ferry today,
424
00:23:10,059 --> 00:23:12,537
I was overcome with a...
a strange feeling of warmth.
425
00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:14,539
Had you wet yourself?
Mr Servant!
426
00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:17,338
Teatime! Oh, here we go,
folks!
427
00:23:17,339 --> 00:23:19,499
Mr Edwards will continue
after dinner! Oh, look!
428
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:23,298
It's salmon. Very boring, I'm
afraid.
429
00:23:23,299 --> 00:23:25,779
Here we go. Here we go,
folks. Tuck in.
430
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,899
Could... Could I get a leg?
431
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,298
We can't let him get this lot on
board.
432
00:23:43,299 --> 00:23:45,179
Follow my lead.
433
00:23:46,819 --> 00:23:49,178
You looking for the toilet?
I am.
434
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:52,059
Let me help you there.
Thank you.
435
00:23:58,619 --> 00:24:01,059
Shawshanked!
436
00:24:22,139 --> 00:24:23,739
Enjoying the petite fours?
437
00:24:35,899 --> 00:24:39,297
Right, well, that's it, folks.
Looks like he's bottled it.
438
00:24:39,298 --> 00:24:41,857
So, if you want an MP
who turns Shergar on you
439
00:24:41,858 --> 00:24:43,619
when the going gets tough...
440
00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:45,058
he's your man.
441
00:24:45,059 --> 00:24:48,378
But Bob Servant doesn't hide!
442
00:24:48,379 --> 00:24:49,459
Remember that.
443
00:24:51,539 --> 00:24:54,458
Well! That's us off!
444
00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:58,979
Thank you for having us.
The salmon was terrific!
445
00:25:00,819 --> 00:25:03,979
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
Looks like someone's had
one too many.
446
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:07,458
He locked me in the fucking
cupboard!
447
00:25:07,459 --> 00:25:11,779
Or I locked myself out of the
cupboard! Different ways of
looking at it.
448
00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:14,098
We will crush you!
449
00:25:14,099 --> 00:25:15,617
You'd better have strong
fingers!
450
00:25:15,618 --> 00:25:18,739
Mr Servant!
I think you should leave right
now!
451
00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:22,018
Oh, I bet you do. I bet you do!
452
00:25:22,019 --> 00:25:24,337
That's just what you lot want,
isn't it?
453
00:25:24,338 --> 00:25:26,299
Get me oot the door
so you can suck up to him?
454
00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:31,498
Why? Because he's got a
flashy poster and big
photocopiers.
455
00:25:31,499 --> 00:25:34,257
Well, do you know
something? I don't need you
lot!
456
00:25:34,258 --> 00:25:36,977
I'm going out there!
To the man on the street!
457
00:25:36,978 --> 00:25:40,097
You know where you are
with the man on the street!
458
00:25:40,098 --> 00:25:42,579
On the street?
You listen to me, pal.
459
00:25:42,580 --> 00:25:46,218
You may have this lot
under your sexy spell,
460
00:25:46,219 --> 00:25:48,418
but I've spent 30 years
461
00:25:48,419 --> 00:25:50,819
selling cheeseburgers
to the people of Broughty
Ferry.
462
00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:52,738
I know them inside out.
463
00:25:52,739 --> 00:25:55,419
And when she made me
put posters on my van
464
00:25:55,420 --> 00:26:00,258
saying that if people ate
too many cheeseburgers they
might die,
465
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:02,059
do you know what happened?!
466
00:26:03,059 --> 00:26:04,979
We sold more!
467
00:26:07,539 --> 00:26:09,179
Granted, a couple of people
did die
468
00:26:09,180 --> 00:26:12,738
but no-one... no-one
tells that lot what to do!
469
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:15,978
So, pal, you keep the big fish!
470
00:26:15,979 --> 00:26:17,938
I'll hae the people!
471
00:26:17,939 --> 00:26:20,819
I'll have the people!
472
00:27:36,499 --> 00:27:37,539
Here we go, Frank.
473
00:27:37,540 --> 00:27:39,138
These are our people.
474
00:27:39,139 --> 00:27:41,339
Look at their wonderful little
faces.
475
00:27:41,340 --> 00:27:42,978
Absolutely.
476
00:27:42,979 --> 00:27:47,219
Ah, Edwards can keep the big
fish. I'll have this lot any time.
477
00:27:49,299 --> 00:27:51,979
I've got your vote, don't I,
Charlie?
478
00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:54,859
No' wearing his glasses.
479
00:27:54,884 --> 00:28:04,717
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
480
00:28:04,859 --> 00:28:07,058
Davie!
Bob.
481
00:28:07,059 --> 00:28:08,859
See the United score at the
weekend?
482
00:28:08,860 --> 00:28:11,138
No. What was it?
483
00:28:11,139 --> 00:28:12,259
Good to see you.
484
00:28:27,619 --> 00:28:29,899
All right, lads?
Just finished at the factory?
485
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:31,098
Factory?
486
00:28:31,099 --> 00:28:33,738
Stewpot, get these boys a
drink.
487
00:28:33,739 --> 00:28:35,779
They deserve it. Salt of the
earth.
488
00:28:37,379 --> 00:28:38,618
On you?
489
00:28:38,619 --> 00:28:41,899
No, no.
Just get them a drink. It's your
job.
37833
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