Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,757
Found that in my pocket
at the bowls club last night.
2
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,437
Some frigger has found out
about William
3
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,077
and sent me a blackmail letter.
4
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,037
-You have to give the money back.
-No.
5
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,997
Then you leave me
with no other option.
6
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,997
Deborah Fendon, I'm arresting
you on suspicion
7
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,517
of committing fraud by deception.
8
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,437
Five grand, what's that on?
9
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,557
A GoFundMe for the drop-in centre.
10
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,157
They've been totally shafted
by the cuts.
11
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,277
Shall we go t'station, then?
12
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,797
So after you've taken me down,
13
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,357
promise me that you'll find
this bastard
14
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,837
and nail his bollocks
to his backside.
15
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,117
Oh? What's going on?
16
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,357
Get back in the house, you!
You're meant to be dead!
17
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,757
-DISGUISED VOICE: - Mrs Fendon.
-Yeah?
18
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,117
I want my money.
19
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,440
Colberton petrol station,
midnight tomorrow.
20
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,520
FOXES SCREECH
21
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,157
Incredible stamina, to be fair.
22
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,877
Like Phil Collins.
23
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,157
Sting.
24
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,317
It will in the morning, yeah,
25
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,557
because they've got
barbs on their wotsits.
26
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,477
No, it's Sting who's famous
for the long boffs.
27
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,077
Oh. Yeah.
28
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,557
Well...
29
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,237
...as long as it's not
in my veg patch.
30
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,157
So you're saying you don't want
fox ejaculate
31
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,957
in your cauliflower cheese?
32
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,360
And that's another
Sunday lunch ruined.
33
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,400
BABY CRIES
34
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,880
Shh. It's OK. I know, shh.
35
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,880
Daddy, I need a poo.
36
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,277
SNORING
37
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,077
KNOCK ON DOOR
38
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,160
DOORBELL RINGS
39
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,477
-Let me in!
-It's 7am.
40
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,157
I know, I've barely slept.
41
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,797
I have to talk to Neha!
42
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,800
-Can't you come back later?
-No, I need a poo!
43
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,840
BABY CRIES
44
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,517
Sorry we're late,
too many bums to wipe.
45
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,117
Didn't you get my message?
I've got Covid.
46
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,117
Oh, dear, I'm sorry to hear that.
Go on, in you go, George.
47
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,517
Sorry, what you doing? Mr Fendon?
48
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,637
I said I can't have the boys today.
49
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,117
I have Covid.
50
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,437
Honestly, they'll be fine.
51
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,477
George licked a manhole cover
last week, didn't you?
52
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,117
His immunity is
basically like the X-Men.
53
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,077
You don't seem to be
listening to me.
54
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,997
-You're saying you want them to wear masks?
-No.
55
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,197
How about a perspex screen?
56
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,037
Have you got one of those,
you could sit behind it?
57
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,197
-Why would I have a perspex screen?
-In your shower?
58
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,597
Mr Fendon, I am not going to sit
in the shower all day
59
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,917
watching your children.
I'm going back to bed.
60
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,840
No, no, wait, wait, wait, no, no.
61
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,477
What am I going to do?
62
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,877
Have you considered looking
after your own children yourself?
63
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,197
I'm going to need to see
that lateral flow!
64
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,197
-Mr Fendon! What are you doing?!
-How thick are the lines?
65
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,237
How thick are the lines? How thick
are the lines? The antigens, Liz!
66
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:22,600
-I'm calling the police!
-Don't make me look after my own children!
67
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,277
No offence, mate.
68
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,280
Don't repeat any of that to Mummy,
OK?
69
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,797
I brought you the blackmail note,
70
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,037
and I did as you said,
I've cut off communication.
71
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,077
Might need to wrap that
in tinfoil, do we?
72
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,160
Er, yeah, maybe later.
73
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,837
Right.
74
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,277
Oh! That photo is awful.
75
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,877
I look like Ann Widdecombe.
76
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,037
Right. Question one -
who could know about William?
77
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,957
Exactly. Good thinking.
78
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,557
No, I'm asking you.
79
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,397
Oh... Oh, um, well, no-one.
80
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,357
We've been unbelievably careful.
81
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,237
What about the petrol station?
82
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,837
Well, that was just a one-off.
83
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,637
I mean, William may be feckless
84
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,437
and reckless
85
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,237
and cocking annoying,
but he's not stupid.
86
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,957
Are you with your mother?
87
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,837
No. Why are you calling
on an unknown number?
88
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,757
Because she's taken
the bloody landline!
89
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,277
-What? Why?
-I don't know.
90
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,477
There's more chance of the
re-animated corpse of Mahatma Gandhi
91
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,677
winning Strictly
than either of us understanding
92
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,357
why your mother does
the things she does.
93
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,477
Why are you so obsessed with
Gandhi being on Strictly?
94
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:32,677
Also, stop leaving the house!
95
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,037
Look, could you please tell her
that we're out of loo roll!
96
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,837
I'm not with her! Although that does
explain this morning.
97
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,397
Well, if I don't get some soon,
I'm going to have to start
98
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,677
using the tea towels.
And not just any tea towels,
99
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,237
her special Brambly Hedge ones.
100
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,557
Look, I have no time
for your dirty protest, OK?
101
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,797
The childminder's sick and I've got
work. I'm stressed!
102
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,117
Ah. Right, so you're going to need
some help with the boys?
103
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,277
Yes, I do desperately. No, George,
no, no, no! Not in the mouth!
104
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,997
Why don't you bring them
over to ours?
105
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,597
Oh, because it might be quite
traumatising for George
106
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,037
to have his grandpa come back
to life two months after
107
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,077
he saw you burnt in a box, and we've
been telling him you're in heaven!
108
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,397
Oh, made it in, did I? That's good.
109
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,637
Anyway, it'd be great to see
the little rascals again.
110
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,357
Dad, they think you're dead.
111
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,797
Ah, yes, they might think I'm dead,
112
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,077
but have you forgotten your father
is a master of disguise?
113
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,237
A man of a thousand faces,
a shape-shifting ghost in the wind.
114
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,160
Morning, William.
115
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,837
Who was that?
116
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,077
Pigeon.
117
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,437
Look, just come over
and all will be revealed.
118
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,880
And please don't forget
the loo roll.
119
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,437
Oh, that's much better.
120
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,557
So, motive is obviously money.
121
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,557
And jealousy.
122
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,877
Being a public figure,
I'm up there to be shot down.
123
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,197
Right. What makes you
a public figure?
124
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:58,557
I cut the ribbon when Billie had
her downstairs toilet installed.
125
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,197
I don't think you get asked to do
that without having a profile.
126
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,437
-She asked you?
-Well, she asked, I offered, what's the difference?
127
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,397
Let's just focus back on this,
shall we?
128
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:11,680
The real pain in the arse
is that we can't see that CCTV.
129
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,797
There's cameras at the bowls club?
130
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,517
Just a bit.
131
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,797
Clive's got that place rigged up
like Jeffrey Epstein's island.
132
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,837
Not that anything like that
goes on there.
133
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,477
Sorry, why didn't you mention
this before?
134
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,277
Although I do have my suspicions
that Billie and Geoff
135
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,357
had a bonk in the changing room.
136
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,277
We need to see that video.
137
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,637
No, thank you!
I'm not against pornography,
138
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,517
but preferably not starring Geoff,
please and thank you.
139
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,517
No, the other one.
140
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,557
Oh, no, no, I tried that,
but I didn't have Clive's password.
141
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,477
Debbie...
142
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,240
...I don't need passwords.
143
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,517
Oh, well, now you're being
a bit useful.
144
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,157
Right, come on.
145
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,280
I'll be Cagney, you can be Hutch.
146
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,560
KNOCK ON DOOR
147
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,317
- COD GERMAN ACCENT:
- Ah, Vilkom! Hello!
148
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,560
Ah...
149
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:20,117
Ah, you must be der young George
I have heard so much about.
150
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,717
I am your great-uncle Otto
from Bavaria in Germany.
151
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,477
Come on, George, it's OK, it's OK.
152
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,357
Uncle Otto isn't as scary
as he looks, are you?
153
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:32,277
Nein, nein! Kommen ze in
for zum varm tea
154
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,117
and zum honey Kuchen... to eat...
155
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,960
...with the tea.
156
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,357
Next time ze triple ply, bitte.
157
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,477
That is like wiping
with printer paper.
158
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,077
Drinks and games and are in the bag.
Just keep them occupied, OK?
159
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,600
Don't worry,
we Germans know how to do that.
160
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,597
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, I lead.
161
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,357
Well, no, this is my bowls club.
162
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,757
Yeah, and this is literally my job.
163
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,717
Oh, but Clive is so annoying.
164
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,237
I want to do him.
165
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,437
I appreciate you're excited but we
need to keep this professional, OK?
166
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,080
Yeah, fine.
167
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,957
-Hands out, you naughty wanker!
-Debbie, what are you doing?
168
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,520
Flipping 'eck!
169
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,117
-BOSS: - Yeah, we've had some feedback.
-TYPING
170
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,000
They're not happy with the copy.
171
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,237
Bit of a...
172
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,277
I have a herniated disc...
173
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,240
...in the neck. Do you know
what a herniated disc is?
174
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,720
So, do you follow the snooker?
175
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:12,480
-What's that?
-That, that is ze Rolls-Royce water-blaster.
176
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,077
I use it to keep ze foxes
out of ze garden.
177
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,917
Foxes raus!
178
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,880
-How?
-I fill it up with wee-wee.
179
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,317
There you go.
180
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,477
What's this? Prawns?
181
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,477
Oh, we got...
182
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:36,797
We got targeted last year by that
roving band of Geordie fishmongers.
183
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,717
Jean spent £400 of club funds
184
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,917
and now we're stuck
with 18 kilos of the buggers.
185
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,597
Incidentally, we're hosting
a seafood spectacular on Friday,
186
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,797
if you'd like to come.
187
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,837
Yeah, I'll have to
check my diary on that one.
188
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,640
-It could be good, yeah.
-Could you hold that there?
189
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,280
Debbie, is there something
you'd like to say to Clive?
190
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,480
Sorry for barging you.
191
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,997
And?
192
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:12,277
And sorry for calling you
a naughty wanker.
193
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,557
And a dullard.
194
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,037
And a fart hole.
195
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,997
You didn't call me a dullard
and a fart hole.
196
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,077
Oh, sorry, I meant to.
197
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,317
Clive, will you accept
Debbie's apology?
198
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,397
Well, no, I'd rather press charges.
199
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,197
Sure, but given I've already
explained that's not going
200
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,157
to happen, please can we just make
peace?
201
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,357
Fine,
but she is not watching my CCTV.
202
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,040
Neha, tell him!
203
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,597
Look, I get it.
204
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,837
As a constable of the law, no-one
respects GDPR more than I do.
205
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:48,280
A robust data policy is
the keystone of a civilised society.
206
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:51,957
Are you crying?
207
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,397
Just keep... Carry on.
208
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,077
But if I get a warrant, you'll have
coppers swarming over this place
209
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,277
like Love Islanders
at a film premiere.
210
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,557
And you don't want that.
211
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,717
Not with all those Panda Pops and
Double Deckers you've got on the bar
212
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,557
that say "not to be sold separately"
on them.
213
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,237
Plus, that warrant'll
cover your computer.
214
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,080
And your search history.
215
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,680
What day do you need to see?
216
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,237
Look, there.
217
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,037
DEBBIE GASPS
218
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,760
I don't believe it.
219
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,957
It's Pamela Anderson.
220
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,597
It's not funny, Neha!
That is my friend.
221
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,997
I just always find it a
tiny bit funny that's her name.
222
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,957
I can't believe it.
223
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,517
Pamela.
224
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,637
After everything I've done for her.
225
00:11:58,720 --> 00:11:59,957
What have you done for her?
226
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,117
Well, nothing specific, but you
know, nice me, what I haven't done
227
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:07,037
is punch her in the gob for being
the yawning bore that she is.
228
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,437
Sorry, Debbie,
this must be really hard.
229
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,397
Not as hard as it's going to be on
her when you slap the cuffs on her.
230
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,637
And can you bonk her head on the
side of the car as you shove her in?
231
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,837
No, cos it's not the 1970s,
and I'm not your pet police officer.
232
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,077
Can't just go round arresting
people cos you say so.
233
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,677
Oh, come on!
234
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,197
I know you love all this woke-y,
softly-softly stuff these days,
235
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,477
but little bit of
old-fashioned justice
236
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,877
is what a cow like Pamela
Anderson needs.
237
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,797
It's just a name.
238
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,597
-I'm sorry.
-Unbelievable.
239
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,077
You're being so unprofessional.
240
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,877
I know, sorry, sorry, it's just...
241
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,357
...if I do go and arrest
Pamela Anderson...
242
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,880
Stop it.
243
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:47,477
...the first question will be, who is
she blackmailing and what about?
244
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,557
Well I...
245
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,317
I'll just deny it.
246
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,917
I've got the death certificate.
247
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,680
Yeah, and she's got the...
248
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,637
Actually, what has she got?
249
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,117
She's got a bloody nerve,
that's what.
250
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,757
I mean, if she wanted money,
why didn't she just ask me?
251
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,357
Instead of taking advantage
of a grieving widow
252
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,157
like a waiter on a Greek holiday.
253
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,397
No, no, I am being serious.
254
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,997
How do you know
she knows about William?
255
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,837
Because she put it in the note.
256
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,797
But like you just said,
you have his death certificate.
257
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,157
And?
258
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,037
She must have proof he's alive!
259
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,517
A kidnapper would usually send
a bit of ear or a finger,
260
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,117
and a blackmailer would send
a photo, usually nude,
261
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,597
so you know they're serious.
262
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,037
Sorry, how would Pamela
have a nude photo of William?
263
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,960
No, I'm not saying he'd be nude.
I'm saying...
264
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,517
We need to go to your house.
265
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,917
Why?
266
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,197
I'll tell you on the way.
267
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,720
-No, one last thing.
-Oh. What?
268
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,757
Oh.
269
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,757
Urgh!
270
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,400
That's why Clive doesn't want
people on his computer.
271
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,717
RAPID TYPING
272
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,117
-BOSS: - Harry, I'm going to need you to get on with that today.
-Mm-hm.
273
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,117
CHILDREN GIGGLE
274
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,757
If you could send the first draft
to me by, at the latest, two,
275
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,117
two o'clock...
276
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,237
What I'm saying is that Pam
must have sent you
277
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,037
-another blackmail note.
-No, I don't want another one.
278
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,997
No, this is one you already had
but it somehow got missed.
279
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,197
How could I have missed
a blackmail note?
280
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,637
Don't take this the wrong way,
281
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,757
but I can kind of see how something
might get lost in your house.
282
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,600
Tidy houses are for boring people.
283
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,397
Oh, my God, George! George!
284
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,077
What are you doing here?
By yourself?
285
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,597
This is a surprise.
286
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,120
What is he...?
287
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,480
WILLIAM!
288
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,240
Ah.
289
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,560
There's supposed to be
some children there.
290
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,997
The Pontipines,
now there's a chaotic family.
291
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,637
You couldn't manage
one hour with them?!
292
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,917
Well, I haven't been sleeping well,
have I,
293
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,557
because of the tantric foxes.
294
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:04,437
Plus, children at that age...
295
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,397
...they are quite boring company.
296
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,717
-William!
-No, Debbie, it's not his fault.
297
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,997
Harry should never have put him
in that position.
298
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,757
I mean, what were you doing
bringing them here anyway?
299
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,477
- WHISPERS:
- George thinks he's dead!
300
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,757
George doesn't actually
know it's me.
301
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,237
I'm in character.
302
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:23,037
You told me you'd thrown
those lederhosen away.
303
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,797
Yeah, that was a lie.
304
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,717
Look, the most important thing is,
is that the boys are safe.
305
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,037
Yeah, no thanks to
Von Shitzenpants here.
306
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,637
What are you doing here anyway?
307
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,357
We need to find something.
308
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,197
Yeah, well, if it's something
useless
309
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,077
like a collection
of porcelain hippos
310
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,117
or a VHS recording of
Coronation Street,
311
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,117
you've come to the right place.
312
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,277
But if it's something useful, you
know,
313
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,397
like a Biro with some actual ink
in it or a key to the back door,
314
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,760
then thou shalt not find it here.
315
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,920
Have you thrown away any post?
316
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,117
No. Why?
317
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,680
Nothing.
318
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,517
What?
319
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,637
You can't have a go at him for lying
and then lie right back!
320
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,877
I'm not lying, I'm keeping a secret.
321
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,317
That's very different.
322
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,797
What are you talking about?
323
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,157
Fine.
324
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:16,157
I'll forgive you for the lederhosen
if you forgive me for this.
325
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,040
Forgive you for what?
326
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,797
You haven't been watching Traitors
without me, have you?
327
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,477
Of course not! That is sacred.
328
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,640
Yeah, OK.
329
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,360
Look, we're being blackmailed.
330
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,477
About the insurance money.
331
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,760
By Pamela Anderson.
332
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,677
NEHA SNIGGERS
333
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,677
Don't start.
334
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,437
Bloody hell, that's annoying.
335
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,680
I was rather hoping that would
just sort of go away.
336
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,077
It came a couple of days ago.
337
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,637
We're screwed.
338
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,757
This doesn't mean anything.
This could have been taken any time.
339
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,877
No, no, no, it's digital,
it will have metadata.
340
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,197
What's metturdettur?
341
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,197
It means we can see
when it was taken, which was...
342
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,437
...two weeks ago.
343
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:05,637
Oh, bollocks.
344
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,077
Well, then we are screwed.
I can't believe it.
345
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,677
So this is what Pamela has.
346
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,517
The smoking gun.
347
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,637
We made a decent fist of it.
348
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,840
I know, we did so much, didn't we?
349
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,197
What about if we pay up?
350
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,477
You can't.
351
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,797
It might be 20k this time, but once
Pam knows you're good for it,
352
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,317
she'll just keep milking
and milking and milking
353
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,197
until you're milked dry.
354
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,677
Like breast-feeding him.
355
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,917
If it's any consolation,
356
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,677
coming clean will mean that we can
fully pursue Pam for the blackmail.
357
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:36,757
What about us, though?
358
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,637
Won't you get into trouble
for not reporting it?
359
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,077
No, I'll just say I had no idea
and that your parents were lying
360
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,037
to us as much as they were lying
to everyone else. No offence.
361
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,360
Right. Just one small problem.
362
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,480
You're in this photo.
363
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,597
It's going to be hard to deny
you knew
364
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,717
when there's a photo of you stood
six feet from him.
365
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,720
Would you excuse me for a moment?
366
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,797
MUFFLED SCREAM
367
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,197
-Oh, dear.
-What?
368
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,277
Well, that's my farting cushion.
369
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,840
Oh, William.
370
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,237
How did we not see you?
371
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,120
I did tell you
that I'm a master of disguise.
372
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,517
Right, then, change of plan.
373
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,837
You need to get that off my keys.
374
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,797
-What is that?
-A tracker.
375
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,717
Oh, dear. Harold hasn't made you
have that, has he?
376
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,317
That's coercive control.
377
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,277
Actually, maybe I should get
one of those for William?
378
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,997
What I need from you
is a bag of flour.
379
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,797
-Right.
-And parcel tape.
380
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,997
Yep.
381
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,917
Is self-raising OK?
382
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,397
So long as it looks like cocaine.
383
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,797
Oh, I don't know.
384
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,397
Yeah, no, it's fine.
385
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,117
Look, I need to go to
the bank before it closes.
386
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,397
Oh, I thought you said
we weren't going to pay Pamela?
387
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,477
We're not.
388
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,157
We're doing a little thing called
the hamburger trick
389
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,917
but we can't set a trap
without bait.
390
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,997
Now, I won't be long...
391
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,960
OK, but if it's cash you need...
392
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,037
...do you want to...
393
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,880
...use this?
394
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,157
Who are you?
395
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,117
Debbie Fendon.
396
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,717
Sorry, could you do this for me?
397
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,440
My hands are too sweaty.
398
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:28,317
BOSS: - Yeah, I just
had a quick read there.
399
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,397
-I think my problem is, it just reads a bit woolly.
-Mm-hm.
400
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,637
So lose some of the...
401
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,637
You won't do anything silly?
402
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,197
I've already done the silly thing.
403
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,237
Now I need to tidy up.
404
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,517
Please let me help.
405
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,197
Do you know the best thing you could
do? Babysit your grandchildren.
406
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,997
Oh, I'd love that.
407
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,277
And so would William.
408
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,597
Good. Where is he, by the way?
409
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,000
Oh, he's pissing
in the super-squirters.
410
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,317
Male urine keeps the foxes away.
411
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,557
I always knew that Pamela
was a wrong 'un.
412
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,360
Got the nose of a criminal. Snouty.
413
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,720
Full tank for you, Debs.
414
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,560
I'll do it myself.
415
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,237
Right, we've got one hour
till the drop,
416
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,197
-and you know to leave it by the bins?
-Yes, guv.
417
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,637
Don't do that.
418
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:27,917
Sorry, miss.
419
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,197
-Or that.
-Yeah, sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm nervous.
420
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,317
OK, just don't screw it up, OK?
421
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,760
That hasn't made me less nervous,
but OK.
422
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,997
Love you.
423
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,800
Love you more.
424
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,357
Perfect.
425
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,357
Along there, that's it, good boy.
426
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,797
Right to the edges.
427
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,757
Yes, that's it, that's it.
428
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,237
What are you doing?
429
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,277
No, no! No, George! No! You don't
know what's in there!
430
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,920
George!
431
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,197
OVER RADIO: - Just drop
the bag and get out of there.
432
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,517
Yes, Sarge.
433
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,797
Please stop doing that.
434
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,040
Yeah. Sorry.
435
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,837
The eagle has landed.
436
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,797
The toad is in the hole.
437
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,837
Repeat, the toad is in the hole.
438
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,237
Where are you going?
439
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,637
Going to get myself a hot choccy.
440
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,437
Not now, you berk!
441
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,837
What...?
442
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,717
Wait, can you see me? Where are you?
443
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,357
Oh, there you are.
444
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,677
Hi!
445
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,317
Don't wave at me, you doofus!
We're breaking the law!
446
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,557
Oh, shit, sorry! OK, yeah.
447
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,437
I'll get back to the toddlers.
448
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,120
Yeah, all four of them.
449
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,677
The sleepy mice could dance no more.
450
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:08,277
They wandered home through the snow
tunnels, climbed the stairs
451
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:12,080
and crept into their warm beds.
452
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,477
Outside the windows,
the snow had started to fall again,
453
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:27,280
but every mouse in Brambly Hedge
was fast asleep.
454
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,357
Love you, Granny.
455
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,240
Love you, Grandpa.
456
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,200
Gotcha.
457
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,000
SIREN WAILS
458
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,197
Hello, Pamela.
459
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,037
-Hello. -Shitting hell, who are you?
-Marcus.
460
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:25,120
I mean, um... licence
and registration, please.
461
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,557
Please step out of the vehicle,
Mr Marsden.
462
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,357
What's this about?
463
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,560
Just get out and wait there.
464
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,157
Oh, God...
465
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,757
Is there a problem?
466
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,437
Er, yeah, it's just
my car's such a tip.
467
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,837
I've got a real problem with
fruit pastilles
468
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,197
and I just leave the wrappers lying
all around like a revolting slob
469
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,037
and it's just horrid and I'd really
rather you didn't look inside it.
470
00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,157
I've seen worse.
471
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,080
My car, actually
The kids treat it like skid row.
472
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,197
That's not mine.
473
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,637
Do you mind telling me
what you do for a living, sir?
474
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,197
Is this really necessary?
475
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,640
I'm a funeral director.
476
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,200
Lot of cash in funerals, is there?
477
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,597
I don't know anything about that.
478
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,000
Right.
479
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,077
And what about this?
480
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,917
OK, I really don't know
anything about that.
481
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,277
Then let me fill you in.
482
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:38,037
It appears to be a bag full of cash
and class A drugs
483
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,277
and I just found it on the front
seat of your car.
484
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,517
Do you know what that makes you?
485
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,317
A naughty boy?
486
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,277
It makes you someone
who's going to prison.
487
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,277
Prison. Prison prison?
488
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,637
Oh, please, look, I know I've made
a mistake
489
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,677
but I swear to God, I don't know
anything about the drugs.
490
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,837
I can't go to prison.
I get very bad eczema.
491
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,917
Well, perhaps we could come
to some arrangement?
492
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,197
Yeah? Although if it's a sex thing,
I must warn you
493
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,877
I'm not super experienced
with your side of the coin.
494
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,157
Oh, no, you don't need to
worry yourself about that, no.
495
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,957
What I'm going to do for you
is make this disappear.
496
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,077
And what you're going to do for me
is leave my client the hell alone.
497
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,637
Your client...?
498
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:19,957
Right, OK.
499
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,197
Yeah, and don't you test her,
cos she's King Kong in this postcode
500
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,277
and next time she won't be
so forgiving.
501
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,600
And you can tell that
to Pamela Anderson too.
502
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:30,557
From Baywatch?
503
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,237
No! You know exactly who I mean.
504
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:34,880
We'll be watching.
505
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,640
Can I go, then, or...?
506
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,997
DOOR OPENS
507
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,757
DOOR CLOSES
508
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,517
Well?
509
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,957
You'll never believe this, but
Pamela Anderson, she's in cahoots.
510
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,317
What? With who?
511
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,717
With WHOM. Carry on.
512
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,077
-Marcus.
-Oh, my God!
513
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,477
Sorry, who the hell's Marcus?
514
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,397
Yeah, actually, I don't know.
Who is that?
515
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,757
The funeral director.
516
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,557
Oh, my God again! You mean
the spindly-windly wafty one?
517
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,837
He seemed like such a sweet lad.
518
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:22,877
That is a shame.
519
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,637
I thought his eulogy
was particularly well judged.
520
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,037
Eulogy for who?
521
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,117
For WHOM.
522
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,117
-For me.
-You were at the funeral?
523
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,037
Of course I wasn't at the funeral.
524
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,597
No, I streamed it.
525
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,157
Which reminds me, your poem.
Oh, dear.
526
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,677
Rhyming Parkinson's with Parmesan?
We raised you better than that.
527
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,077
Hey, I ran a 10k in your memory.
528
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,877
You walked most of it.
529
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,357
FOXES SCREECH
530
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,117
Sorry, is anyone actually interested
in how my fake drugs bust went?
531
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,397
Of course.
532
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:53,640
But first, William...
533
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,680
...they're back.
534
00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,960
Foxes.
535
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,240
Give 'em hell.39688
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof