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1
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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:10,118
♪ songs that made
the hit parade ♪
3
00:00:10,142 --> 00:00:13,221
♪ guys like us, we had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,245 --> 00:00:16,224
♪ those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,248 --> 00:00:20,228
♪ and you knew
where you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,252 --> 00:00:23,498
♪ girls were girls,
and men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:28,437
♪ mister, we could use a man
like Herbert hoover again ♪
8
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:31,974
♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪
9
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:35,444
♪ everybody pulled his weight ♪
10
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:40,048
♪ gee, our old
lasalle ran great ♪
11
00:00:40,072 --> 00:00:45,909
♪ those were the days ♪
12
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:56,098
So when you grow
up and have a family
13
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:59,801
you'll be coming to
the laundromat, too.
14
00:00:59,825 --> 00:01:02,137
- Every week?
- Oh, yeah.
15
00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:04,539
I'd rather be dirty.
16
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,842
Oh, it ain't nice to be dirty.
17
00:01:07,866 --> 00:01:09,377
I don't mind.
18
00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:14,682
Would you take this and get
me four quarters for the machine?
19
00:01:14,706 --> 00:01:16,351
Okay.
20
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,153
Allow me, Mrs. Bunker.
21
00:01:18,177 --> 00:01:20,889
Oh! Mr. Klemmer!
22
00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:23,558
I saw you from the outside and
I had to come in and say hello.
23
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:24,625
You shouldn't...
24
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,562
- Hello, hello.
- Well, hello.
25
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,996
- Mwah, mwah.
- How are you?
26
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:31,132
Oh, your hand smells nice.
27
00:01:31,156 --> 00:01:33,835
It's ajax, the foamy cleanser.
28
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:35,404
Oh, my.
29
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:38,306
- It is so nice
to see you.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,574
Oh, thank you.
31
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:42,778
This is my little
grandniece, Stephanie.
32
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:46,047
Oh, kiss the hand,
fraulein Stephanie.
33
00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:48,850
You like that, huh?
34
00:01:48,874 --> 00:01:50,952
Yeah, your beard
feels like a dog.
35
00:01:52,544 --> 00:01:56,924
Oh, see, this is
Mr. Klemmer, stephie.
36
00:01:56,948 --> 00:01:58,593
He's the butcher.
37
00:01:58,617 --> 00:02:02,097
Yes, and I'm very sorry your aunt
doesn't come to my shop anymore.
38
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,433
We had a wonderful relationship.
39
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,168
I was in love with her smile,
40
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,924
and she was in
love with my liver.
41
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,975
I hate liver.
42
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,910
Oh, Mr. Klemmer.
43
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:18,013
B-b-b-b... Albrecht.
44
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:20,915
Oh, yeah, Albrecht.
45
00:02:20,939 --> 00:02:23,785
That's much better, "ee-dit."
46
00:02:23,809 --> 00:02:26,054
Hm? Edith.
47
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,278
"Ee-dit"... th.
48
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,832
My uncle Archie
hates liver, too.
49
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,733
Let's sit down. Let's sit down.
50
00:02:38,757 --> 00:02:41,336
- Oh, Mr. Klemmer.
- No, no, no, no.
51
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,538
Oh, yeah. I mean, Albrecht.
52
00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:46,441
You look wonderful.
53
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:48,043
I know.
54
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,611
That's because I
have wonderful news.
55
00:02:50,635 --> 00:02:53,414
I am going to get married.
56
00:02:53,438 --> 00:02:55,116
- Married?
- Yeah.
57
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:57,218
- You're gonna get...
- Yeah, ha ha ha.
58
00:02:57,242 --> 00:02:59,821
Ohh... oh, that's wonderful.
59
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,455
Congratulations.
60
00:03:01,479 --> 00:03:02,657
Thank you. Thank you.
61
00:03:02,681 --> 00:03:04,159
- Well, what's her name?
- Well...
62
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,161
- Where did you meet 'er?
- We met in...
63
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,962
- When is it gonna be?
- We haven't...
64
00:03:07,986 --> 00:03:09,430
Tell me all about it.
65
00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:11,732
Well, in the first place,
66
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,702
it is because she reminds
me a lot about you.
67
00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:17,039
Maybe that's why I
fell in love with her.
68
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,530
Oh, oh.
69
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:24,112
My uncle Archie says liver
gives him "dys-poop-sia."
70
00:03:24,136 --> 00:03:25,313
What?
71
00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:27,982
She don't remind you of me.
72
00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:32,153
She reminds you of your
wife, who passed away,
73
00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:35,757
because you always said
that I reminded you of her,
74
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:38,493
so you don't mean that
she reminds you of me.
75
00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,995
You mean that she
reminds you of your wife,
76
00:03:41,019 --> 00:03:42,530
who passed away,
77
00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:45,467
because I always
reminded you of her,
78
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,168
so she don't remind you of me.
79
00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:50,137
She reminds you of her, not me.
80
00:03:50,161 --> 00:03:51,394
See?
81
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:55,377
Yes.
82
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,978
And she looks
a lot like you, t...
83
00:03:57,002 --> 00:03:59,614
Oh, and she has
a name like yours,
84
00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:02,316
judit-th.
85
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:07,222
Oh, mist... Albrecht,
I'm so happy for you.
86
00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:09,390
You have no idea.
87
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,827
She is bright, intelligent.
88
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:15,463
She loves music, she cooks
good, and she loves me.
89
00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:17,065
What could be better?
90
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:20,234
I would love for you
to meet my liebchen.
91
00:04:20,258 --> 00:04:24,673
Oh, I'd love to. Why don't
you come to our house?
92
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:27,776
Tonight. For homemade
cake and coffee.
93
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,445
And you can bring miss liebchen.
94
00:04:31,469 --> 00:04:34,115
That would be wonderful.
95
00:04:34,139 --> 00:04:36,084
Oh, but liebchen isn't her name.
96
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,952
That means "loved one."
97
00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:42,257
Ohh, ain't that nice?
98
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,591
Ha ha ha.
99
00:04:43,615 --> 00:04:46,560
Oh! Maybe we could
sit around the piano
100
00:04:46,584 --> 00:04:49,030
and sing like we
did the last time.
101
00:04:49,054 --> 00:04:51,132
- Oh, yeah!
- ♪ when I'm calling ♪
102
00:04:51,156 --> 00:04:57,839
♪ you ♪
103
00:04:57,863 --> 00:05:00,008
♪ will you answer ♪
104
00:05:00,032 --> 00:05:03,967
♪ too ♪
105
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:14,589
Hold it, hold it,
hold it, hold it.
106
00:05:14,613 --> 00:05:17,091
Put that back here.
107
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:18,593
Give me a break, will ya?
108
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:19,828
Let me finish my dinner.
109
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,452
Don't you see them
two beans laying there?
110
00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:27,602
They're gonna be
here any minute.
111
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:29,971
Oh, god.
112
00:05:29,995 --> 00:05:31,772
My one night off in the week,
113
00:05:31,796 --> 00:05:33,908
and I gotta spend
it with klemmer,
114
00:05:33,932 --> 00:05:36,799
the horny hun.
115
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:42,016
- Archie, please, be nice.
- Oh, be nice.
116
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,321
He's getting married
and he's very proud.
117
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:50,091
He wants to show
us his liebchen.
118
00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:51,826
Let him show it
to his girlfriend.
119
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:55,485
I ain't interested in it.
120
00:05:57,056 --> 00:06:00,323
Liebchen is the girlfriend.
121
00:06:01,526 --> 00:06:05,161
Well, I ain't interested
in hers, neither.
122
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,178
All right, you can
take my dish now.
123
00:06:11,202 --> 00:06:13,180
What about the beans?
124
00:06:13,204 --> 00:06:15,739
I don't want them.
125
00:06:18,143 --> 00:06:20,588
Thank you.
126
00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:24,091
I don't know why you feel
you have to be nice to that guy.
127
00:06:24,115 --> 00:06:26,261
He ain't your butcher no more.
128
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,063
Oh, now that he's
getting married,
129
00:06:29,087 --> 00:06:31,733
I can go back to his store.
130
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:33,100
Mmmm.
131
00:06:33,124 --> 00:06:36,470
He don't care about me no more.
132
00:06:36,494 --> 00:06:39,773
Oh, ho ho ho, jeez,
that's what you think.
133
00:06:39,797 --> 00:06:42,110
You don't know nothing
about Germans, Edith.
134
00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:44,945
You know, the Germans ain't
never satisfied with what they got.
135
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:48,049
You look it up. It's a
well-known "historirical" fact.
136
00:06:48,073 --> 00:06:50,351
They gave 'em an
inch of czechoslovakia,
137
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,742
and they took Poland.
138
00:06:55,514 --> 00:06:59,349
Which proves the Germans
ain't none too smart, neither.
139
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:06,167
Archie, why don't
you like company?
140
00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:08,636
I like company, Edith.
141
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:11,161
I just don't want it
to come over to visit.
142
00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:17,611
Well, they're coming
tonight so please, be nice,
143
00:07:17,635 --> 00:07:19,547
just this once.
144
00:07:19,571 --> 00:07:22,183
Don't keep telling
me, "be nice."
145
00:07:22,207 --> 00:07:25,119
I want to tell you something.
146
00:07:25,143 --> 00:07:26,921
If I have to be nice,
147
00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:30,991
I can be very, very nice.
148
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:38,999
Oh, damn, I'd like to wire
that doorbell to a wet doormat!
149
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:44,372
Damn Germans. Always on time.
150
00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:48,576
They think they could be a
little late like the rest of the world.
151
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,480
You get the door, and I'll
get the coffee and the cake.
152
00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:55,616
And remember... be nice.
153
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,519
Oh, jeez.
154
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:10,031
Wow, if it ain't my old
pal al klemmer there!
155
00:08:10,055 --> 00:08:11,799
How are you there, al?
156
00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:13,101
Good evening, Mr. Bunker.
157
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:18,139
At... at ease there, chancellor.
158
00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:20,007
Well, long time no see.
159
00:08:20,031 --> 00:08:22,710
In other words, auf,
uh, my wiedersehen.
160
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:25,913
Hey, auf yours, too.
161
00:08:25,937 --> 00:08:27,915
Well, don't stand
on the porch, al.
162
00:08:27,939 --> 00:08:30,251
As long as you're here, you
might as well come on in, huh?
163
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:31,419
You, too.
164
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,420
There.
165
00:08:32,444 --> 00:08:34,255
Just step right in there.
166
00:08:34,279 --> 00:08:38,126
And put your hats and coats
on the available hooks here.
167
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:42,096
This is my fiancée
Judith klammerstadt.
168
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,097
Ahh.
169
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:44,332
How do you do?
170
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:46,901
How you doing, miss...
What was that again?
171
00:08:46,925 --> 00:08:49,070
Klammerstadt.
172
00:08:49,094 --> 00:08:51,139
Got it.
173
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:54,676
I've heard a lot
about you, Mr. Bunker.
174
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,145
Uh, well, you know,
friends will talk.
175
00:08:57,169 --> 00:09:01,716
But, listen, I ain't half as
nice as people say I am.
176
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,517
Yeah, well, come
on in, come on in,
177
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:05,653
and just, uh, make
yourselves at home.
178
00:09:05,677 --> 00:09:07,655
Sit down anywheres you want.
179
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:10,324
Oh, yeah, except for
this here chair there,
180
00:09:10,348 --> 00:09:11,793
miss... what d'you call?
181
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,685
Uh, because this chair
is in a hell of a cross draft.
182
00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:19,133
Cross draft?
183
00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:20,690
Why don't you move it?
184
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,605
You want to look
at a hole in the rug?
185
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,340
No.
186
00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:27,074
All right, then
do what I tell you.
187
00:09:27,098 --> 00:09:29,210
Uh, pop yourself
on the Davenport.
188
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:32,435
It's just as comfortable.
Yeah, yeah, sit down.
189
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:40,155
Uh, say, Edith out there, I
heard they're here, ha ha.
190
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,979
Edith's inside making
coffee for yous.
191
00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,429
Well, well, well, huh?
192
00:09:48,453 --> 00:09:50,754
Vell, vell, vell.
193
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,569
Do you think Martin
bormann is still down in Brazil?
194
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,218
All I know is he never walked
195
00:10:11,242 --> 00:10:13,410
into my butcher shop in queens.
196
00:10:16,781 --> 00:10:19,415
Well, then, I guess
he's still down in Brazil.
197
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:25,233
Uh, hurry on out,
there, Edith, will you?
198
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:29,003
I'm running out of
nice things to say.
199
00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:32,306
Here we are.
200
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:33,975
Here! Let me help you.
201
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,643
It's all right there, al.
202
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:38,768
I mean, she's used to
carrying things alone.
203
00:10:39,871 --> 00:10:41,649
Thank you.
204
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:45,520
My, don't we look
nice this evening.
205
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:46,588
Ohh.
206
00:10:48,747 --> 00:10:51,659
Ohh, thank you, Mr. Klemmer.
207
00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:55,263
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh, Albrecht, ha ha.
208
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:59,967
Edith, this is my
fiancée Judith.
209
00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:02,937
Wait till you hear the
last name there, Edith.
210
00:11:02,961 --> 00:11:04,872
- Tell 'er, al.
- Klammerstadt.
211
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,909
Don't that give
you a little chill?
212
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:14,282
Ohh, it's so nice to meet you.
213
00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:16,284
Ohh, miss...
214
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:19,754
I got it. I got it.
"Klammer-schtup."
215
00:11:19,778 --> 00:11:23,157
Klammerstadt. Thank you.
216
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:26,227
It is very nice
to meet you, too.
217
00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:29,364
Oh, well, congratulations.
218
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:34,068
I'm sure you'll
both be very happy.
219
00:11:34,092 --> 00:11:37,372
Ohh, look, Archie.
220
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:40,642
- Ain't that beautiful?
- Wow.
221
00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:44,612
It is my engagement ring.
222
00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:46,714
Guess who gave it to her?
223
00:11:46,738 --> 00:11:47,970
Who?
224
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:53,188
Edith, get with it, huh?
225
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:56,557
Oh, you!
226
00:11:56,581 --> 00:11:59,827
Ah, whoop-Dee-doo
and achtung there, al.
227
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:04,320
Hey, how many cows did you
have to club to death to pay for that?
228
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:09,237
It's so romantic.
229
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,140
I don't know what it is.
230
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:15,698
There's something about
Judith that reminds me of you.
231
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:20,848
Really?
232
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:24,785
Hey, al, I can't see
nothing but your rump roast.
233
00:12:24,809 --> 00:12:27,154
Out of the way.
234
00:12:27,178 --> 00:12:30,992
Albrecht speaks often of you.
235
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:35,096
- Ohh.
- Yes, because you are
a special person.
236
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,432
And watch this here
because this is where
237
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,167
he lose control
of himself there,
238
00:12:40,191 --> 00:12:41,858
miss "klammer-dip."
239
00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:45,895
Oh, oh, but then, so
are you, my liebchen.
240
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:50,545
Well, Edith, how
'bout coffee, huh?
241
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,247
Oh, yeah. I got
it, and cake, too.
242
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:54,849
Are you hungry?
243
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:57,252
No. I'm just drowsy.
244
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:01,990
I thought first we were
going to sing some songs.
245
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:05,193
Well, why don't you drink some
coffee and eat a lot of cake then?
246
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,762
Maybe you'll be
too full to sing.
247
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,498
Oh, no, we won't.
248
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:16,337
Oh, would you like to
sing along with us, Judith?
249
00:13:16,361 --> 00:13:20,764
Uh, no. Thank you. I
am not a good zinger.
250
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,912
Well, to hell with
the coffee then.
251
00:13:24,936 --> 00:13:28,905
Yous two just "zing,"
and us two'll just "zit."
252
00:13:31,276 --> 00:13:33,787
Come on, Albrecht.
253
00:13:33,811 --> 00:13:35,923
You pick the song.
254
00:13:38,883 --> 00:13:42,096
Come along, Mr. Bunker.
Come, sing with us.
255
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,899
Uh, no, you're out
of my league, al.
256
00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:46,801
Oh, we're not that good.
257
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:50,171
That's what I mean, al.
258
00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:53,207
Well, what are you
looking for there, a march?
259
00:13:53,231 --> 00:13:55,564
Ooh, a love song.
260
00:13:57,135 --> 00:13:59,080
Get a load of that, huh?
261
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:02,938
They're looking for a love song
there, miss "klammer-chowder."
262
00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:06,587
Klammerstadt.
263
00:14:06,611 --> 00:14:09,812
Hey, I'm getting
closer, though, huh?
264
00:14:10,915 --> 00:14:13,461
"Voop-Dee-doo," as you say.
265
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:16,797
- Here, this is a good one.
- Oh, yeah, this is pretty.
266
00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:21,469
♪ I love you ♪
267
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:24,872
♪ I love you ♪
268
00:14:24,896 --> 00:14:30,478
♪ is all that I can say ♪
269
00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:33,080
♪ I love you ♪
270
00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:36,217
♪ I love you ♪
271
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:38,819
♪ the same old words ♪
272
00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:41,755
♪ I'm saying in
the same old way ♪
273
00:14:41,779 --> 00:14:45,226
♪ I love you ♪
274
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,294
♪ I love you ♪
275
00:14:47,318 --> 00:14:48,729
Hey, al.
276
00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:50,398
Hey, al! Al!
277
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:57,171
I think you just lost
half your audience here.
278
00:14:57,195 --> 00:14:58,794
Judith!
279
00:15:00,198 --> 00:15:01,843
Is something wrong?
280
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:04,145
Everything is wrong!
281
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,213
I am in the way here.
282
00:15:06,237 --> 00:15:08,616
You don't love me! You love her!
283
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,639
The wife of the fatso!
284
00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:15,556
I don't love her!
285
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,225
No, he don't love me!
286
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:19,727
He certainly loves your hands.
287
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:23,431
He's always trying to
get them in his mouth.
288
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,199
I don't love her!
289
00:15:25,223 --> 00:15:26,967
Yeah, herr bunker is right.
290
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:29,625
You do that.
291
00:15:31,729 --> 00:15:37,077
You don't look at me
the way you look at her.
292
00:15:37,101 --> 00:15:41,148
You don't sing
love songs with me.
293
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:42,939
You don't have a piano.
294
00:15:44,976 --> 00:15:49,623
Und you don't have a liebchen.
295
00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:51,459
Well, if he ain't
got a liebchen,
296
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:54,083
he ain't gonna make
much of a husband.
297
00:15:55,753 --> 00:15:57,565
Here is your ring!
298
00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:59,667
- No, no, no.
- The wedding is off!
299
00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:01,869
Judith, Judith,
what are you doing?
300
00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:04,638
Let me out of here!
301
00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:20,488
The battle of the bulge.
302
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:21,722
Well, it's your fault.
303
00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:24,027
You're a sex pot, you know that?
304
00:16:24,916 --> 00:16:28,084
No, I ain't.
305
00:16:36,094 --> 00:16:38,460
Am I?
306
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,319
But aba Judith...
307
00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:53,654
Don't "aba Judith" me.
308
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:56,423
Call me a taxi!
309
00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:07,902
Lovers' quarrel.
310
00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:10,938
Look, we found your ring.
311
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:15,442
What am I going to do?
312
00:17:15,466 --> 00:17:17,744
She won't even listen to me.
313
00:17:17,768 --> 00:17:20,715
Please, Edith, maybe
you can talk to her.
314
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,383
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I won't allow that.
315
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:25,753
You stay out of
this thing, Edith.
316
00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:30,257
In their garden of Eden,
you're the crabgrass.
317
00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:34,194
But somebody has to talk to her!
318
00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:36,263
Well...
319
00:17:36,287 --> 00:17:38,766
Oh, hold it, hold
it. Not me there!
320
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,467
Hey, come on.
Don't look over here.
321
00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:43,003
I ain't no dear "Abbie."
322
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,638
Please, Mr. Bunker.
323
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:45,873
When she's in this mood,
324
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:48,475
a human being can't talk to her.
325
00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:49,799
You talk to her.
326
00:17:53,271 --> 00:17:56,183
Listen, al, there's
an old saying,
327
00:17:56,207 --> 00:18:02,478
"hell hath no fury
like a woman's corns."
328
00:18:05,149 --> 00:18:08,062
Now, I ain't never
knew what that meant,
329
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,898
but I always
deeply believed in it.
330
00:18:10,922 --> 00:18:13,200
But you're
forgetting, Mr. Bunker,
331
00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:14,502
that an attractive man
332
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,871
can always do more with a woman,
333
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:20,563
and there's no use denying
you are an attractive man.
334
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:42,484
This comes as a big
surprise to me, Albrecht.
335
00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:50,459
You know, this is why Rome fell.
336
00:18:52,663 --> 00:18:55,008
Europeans.
337
00:18:55,032 --> 00:18:57,044
Yous go for any kind of flesh
338
00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:59,935
as long as it's a little warm.
339
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:04,885
Now, al, if you want
that woman back...
340
00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,920
And, jeez, I took
a good look at her
341
00:19:06,944 --> 00:19:10,524
and I don't know
what you see in 'er...
342
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,593
You'll march out
there to the kitchen,
343
00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:15,996
and I mean mad, and you'll
give 'er the old mach schnel,
344
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:18,231
and I mean loud there,
345
00:19:18,255 --> 00:19:21,602
and you grab a hold
of 'er, you know?
346
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:24,827
The way they used to take
us prisoners, remember?
347
00:19:26,764 --> 00:19:29,410
And then the two of yous,
you get the hell out of here.
348
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:35,149
Oh, Archie, that
ain't no way to do it.
349
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:37,484
Well, that's my
best shot, Edith.
350
00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:39,286
You come up with
something better.
351
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:42,256
Yes, please.
352
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,592
Well, all right. I'll try.
353
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,560
Now, Edith, if you're
gonna talk to 'er,
354
00:19:46,584 --> 00:19:48,395
talk through the door, huh?
355
00:19:48,419 --> 00:19:49,797
I mean, don't go in there.
356
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:50,965
That woman's
liable to come at you
357
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:52,855
like "doberman's pinscher."
358
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,305
Yoo-hoo.
359
00:19:58,329 --> 00:20:00,996
Judy?
360
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,067
Can I come in?
361
00:20:11,075 --> 00:20:13,008
Are you comfy?
362
00:20:14,678 --> 00:20:17,724
We found your ring.
363
00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:19,392
You can keep it.
364
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:25,065
I am not going to marry your
dummkopf fool makes cow eyes at you!
365
00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:26,300
Ohh...
366
00:20:26,324 --> 00:20:30,337
Albrecht don't love
me, he loves you.
367
00:20:30,361 --> 00:20:33,841
I just remind 'im
of his dead wife...
368
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,343
Who passed away.
369
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:43,284
You know, Albrecht
is a very unusual man.
370
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,954
He's a sweet and loving person
371
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:50,524
and he shows that
to everybody he likes.
372
00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:53,194
Not just me, everybody.
373
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:54,862
That's the way he is.
374
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:57,631
And ain't it wonderful
that he can do that,
375
00:20:57,655 --> 00:21:01,668
show everybody
that he likes them?
376
00:21:01,692 --> 00:21:04,138
But you're the one he loves.
377
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,240
I know that.
378
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:10,032
And I know you love him, too.
379
00:21:11,369 --> 00:21:16,750
So, if you let him go,
you'll be th-the "dumbkoff,"
380
00:21:16,774 --> 00:21:18,807
whatever that is.
381
00:21:31,489 --> 00:21:36,358
Have a piece of cake,
it'll make you feel better.
382
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:41,074
Ooh, what happened?
383
00:21:41,098 --> 00:21:43,110
What did she say? Did
she change 'er mind?
384
00:21:43,134 --> 00:21:44,644
Well, I don't know.
385
00:21:44,668 --> 00:21:46,479
What do you mean you don't know?
386
00:21:46,503 --> 00:21:48,315
Well, she's thinking.
387
00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:49,716
Thinking about what?
388
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:51,384
Well, I don't know.
389
00:21:51,408 --> 00:21:53,153
What do you mean
you don't know?!
390
00:21:53,177 --> 00:21:57,792
Whoa, whoa! Ho-hold it
down there, will ya, al?
391
00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:02,930
Gee, this ain't stalag iv.
392
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:06,967
This is a businessman's
quiet home in queens.
393
00:22:06,991 --> 00:22:09,791
Nobody ever hollers around here.
394
00:22:14,465 --> 00:22:17,578
Now, if Edith says she
don't know, she don't know.
395
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:20,068
That's the one
thing she does know.
396
00:22:28,646 --> 00:22:30,524
I am sorry.
397
00:22:30,548 --> 00:22:35,295
Well, you should
be there, blue angel.
398
00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:39,354
Und I want to thank
Edith. Edith, thank you.
399
00:22:40,491 --> 00:22:43,570
You're welcome.
400
00:22:43,594 --> 00:22:46,507
Liebchen...
401
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:50,744
I am sorry I caused
you all this trouble.
402
00:22:50,768 --> 00:22:52,646
No.
403
00:22:52,670 --> 00:22:56,583
It was I who caused
all this trouble.
404
00:22:56,607 --> 00:22:59,086
- No, it was I.
- No, it was I.
405
00:22:59,110 --> 00:23:00,320
Oh, no, it was I.
406
00:23:00,344 --> 00:23:01,889
- I, I, I.
- I, I, I.
407
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:03,991
- I, I, I.
- I, I, I.
408
00:23:04,015 --> 00:23:08,262
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hold there, will you?
409
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:11,387
The "i's" have it already.
410
00:23:12,924 --> 00:23:15,135
Why don't yous both
kiss and make up
411
00:23:15,159 --> 00:23:17,360
and fly to Milwaukee?
412
00:23:18,429 --> 00:23:23,677
Schatzi, schatzi...
413
00:23:25,469 --> 00:23:27,514
Ich liebe dich.
414
00:23:29,206 --> 00:23:30,739
Ich liebe dich.
415
00:23:43,087 --> 00:23:47,768
Oh, Archie, ain't that sweet?
416
00:23:47,792 --> 00:23:50,471
It's just like the
jerries, Edith.
417
00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:52,473
They can't even
wind up a love scene
418
00:23:52,497 --> 00:23:55,197
without singing a battle hymn.
419
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,713
Oh, god.
420
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,258
All in the family was
played to a studio audience
421
00:24:45,282 --> 00:24:46,949
for live responses.
29606
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