All language subtitles for Waterloo Road s17e04.eng

Given your track record
on the Ofsted board,

this would be a chance to restore
your reputation.

Stella and I thought it would best
if we shared an office.

I've got big plans.
LAUGHTER

Never change, do you, Donovan?
Absolutely not.

My time at Ofsted gave me
invaluable insight.

Now let's work together to bring
Waterloo Road back.

All the budget lines,
everything under my remit.

Well done for taking the initiative.

You're going to come
and stay with me.

Just until you get yourself
back on your feet.

I'm sorry I don't know BSL.

Cute.

Don't be jel that I'm a good
footballer, Shola.

Actually not.

For once, I am getting bit
of attention.

Just don't jump into anything
too quickly, yeah?

Yeah, that's nice.
Thanks, Coach.

We're looking for a friend.

She's called Portia. Apparently
she comes here a lot.

Tonya?

Dad?

So you're the coach Portia and Shola
have been talking about?

Tell her to ring me.

And I'm on fire

And I'm on fire...

"Dear staff members,

"This morning, I've had notice
that we are to receive

"an immediate visit from
a team of Ofsted inspectors.

"I realise that this may seem
alarming at first,

"but I have full confidence in the
staff and pupils of the school,

"so there is no need for any panic.

"We will deal with this how
we deal with everything else -

"as a strong and united team."

And I'm on fire
I'm coming, you coming

No hiding, my feeling

I wanna take it to
the highest over me, yeah.

Uh, awful.

We'll get an outstanding for tonsil
tennis, then, won't we?

Didn't get Stella's email?

Email? You are kidding me?
Oh, my God.

When did you find out about Ofsted?

This morning. Can you collect
the Alps figures for me, please?

Bore them into submission? Yes!

I'll organise the timetable.
Er, it's too late for that.

Find Debs and make sure that
everything is doubly clean.

Sorry. I went through
two red lights to get here.

Might've done me a favour of
getting knocked off.

A&E or Ofsted? Difficult choice.

Calm down, Joseph.

Sorry, I've got PTSD
off the last inspection.

It was... It's not you they've got
a problem with.

I was the one who left Ofsted
under a cloud.

Look, this is going to be the last
post of my career, and I'm damned

if I'm going to be remembered for
failing to turn

this school around.

Yes. OK, OK.

Ow!
Soz, mate.

Check you out, Lioness.

Hey, at that sportswear shoot,
I met a makeup artist

who says she might have some
work experience for you.

Nah.

Thanks, but that was the old me.

But you're so good at it!

I owe my career to Portia Weaver.

You've got my lip gloss.
I don't mind you using it,

but technically, that's theft,
so come on.

Well, I thought you could afford
a new one

with your new posh job.

Right, I tell you what.
Why don't I take you shopping

at the weekend, get you a few bits?

It's been ages since we spent
any time together.

Sorry, I can't. I've got plans.

Can I just have the money?

Hiya.
Oh, hey, Dad.

Ten years, nowhere to be seen,
and suddenly you're everywhere.

Er, yeah. Sorry.

Got a meeting with Mr Donovan.

What? About what? About linking our
football club up with the school.

Great.

Believe it

Then you turn 21

Owe the world everything

I don't need anyone,
owe anyone anything

I don't need anyone

I don't need what you got

I don't need anyone...

What?

Hey!
You could be their wunda

You could be their wunda...

That's cheating.
Could you be their wunda girl?

I said...

Wanna be their wundagirl?

Brace for their expectations

Too much to say in
Two minutes of rotation

One day, you'll be their saviour

Holy saviour

But you can't save her...

Ha-ha!

Here, one sec. Cat?

Have you seen this?
He's messaged me back!

Wanna be their wunda girl?

Morning. Oli Kemp from Ofsted.

Darius Donnovan, Deputy Head.

Do you want to park in one of those
bays over there?

One minute!

These spaces are reserved
for the staff.

There's a public car park

two roads past the roundabout.

It's, er... Oh, it's 31 minutes
before I'm obliged

to let you into the school,

so that should work out perfectly.

Sure.

That's the game we're playing,
is it?

Nicely played.

I'll go and rally the troops.

Wait, who are you messaging?

Signed up to an app
and this guy got in touch.

We've not stopped talking.

Come on, then, let's see his photo.

Do you think I should meet him
in person?

He's well fit, yes!

And he's into you as well,
which can help.

Where does he live?

The app says three miles from me.

You should go for it, then. Yeah.

The face on that inspector.
He was not impressed.

Yeah, well, it bought us time to get
this place shipshape, didn't it?

Can they just clear all this stuff
up off of here, please?

Darius, can you give me a hand
with this, please? Yeah.

Not on the floor!

Oh, sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Thank you.

I just mean, I thought you were going to roll
out the red carpet, not poke the bear. Oh, no.

I was head of Ofsted. I know
what it takes to pass an inspection.

There's not a rule I don't know
how to bend.

OK. Crack open the playbook
of dirty tricks.

I'm all in. No, I said bend a rule,
not break them.

Hmm? OK.

Right, I need you to call
a staff meeting.

We need everybody pulling together.

No slip-ups. Thank you.

Oh! Oh, no, Stella!

We only have a TA covering periods
one and two art.

You don't teach period's
one and two. You're qualified.

That's mad. No. I... No.

I can't draw a pair of curtains.

Er, we all have to muck in together,
Joseph.

Look, get out of your comfort zone.

Oh, right. Yeah, you'll be asking me
to cut an ear off next.

No, engaging the students
will suffice.

Right, I'll just VAN GOGH and get on
with it, will I?

Yeah, cos he... You know he sliced
his ear off?

Yeah. Got no choice now, have ya?

Well, I mean, I can just take you
there if you want?

No. Visitors have to stay here.

Can't have just anybody wandering
around school now, can we?

Thanks, though. Yo, T, I've been
looking at consoles,

and I've found the best deals.

Oh, yeah - hi to you, too, Ashton.

Oh, yeah, hey.

Them two seem very pally.

Yeah, Dad made us dinner
the other night.

They actually get along very well.

Really? How cosy.

Oh, Nicky, staffroom, please.

It's Ofsted.

What?

You'll have a few more
with you today.

Keep the less desirables away
from the inspectors.

Is that ethical?

Geneva Convention does not apply
to Ofsted inspections.

But that's not what
the inclusion unit's for.

Well, today it is.

OK, team, the nervous energy
suggests

you all already know that Ofsted are
visiting the school today.

If this is the first we're hearing,

it must be an emergency inspection,
right?

What does that mean?

Well, it's not going to be
a pat on the back, is it?

No, it's not.
But that's what you all deserve.

You should be very proud of how far
this school has come this year,

even if they...
Let's not let the past define us.

Best foot forward today.

We must be squeaky clean.

I want best behaviour in lessons.

I'm sorry. So, Ofsted,
they're actually

coming into the classes, then?

Yeah, just don't let them
intimidate you.

You know? The trick is,

imagine them all naked.

Really?

Bit pervy.

Look, I've got faith in all of you.

If we work together,
we will be fine.

This is for you.

It took me an hour to do that
one braid in her hair

cos she's such a fidget bum.

I don't know if I'd have
the patience.

You've got to when it comes to kids.

They're always first.

Shame my mum didn't get the memo.

You are nothing like your mum.

She looks well happy.

She has her moments,
but it's worth it.

Shame you're missing out on Ibiza.

Look, you were so busy getting Mia
ready this morning,

you only ate half your breakfast.

My new hot sauce.

Yeah, well, this ain't going to be
enough of a pick-me-up.

I'm going to go get a coffee
before lessons.

Laters.

See you in a bit.

Poor Stace. You know
she's putting on a brave face?

Brave face on for what?

A few weeks ago, she was planning
a holiday,

and now she's competing for
high score on Unicorn Kingdom -

with a four-year-old.

But she loves having Mia.

Yeah, we both do.

Yeah, of course, but...

..doesn't mean she's not
missing out on stuff.

Maybe you should talk to
your parents again?

You know, now that they know
the truth,

Leoni knows they know,

you know?

You should all know
the uniform policy by now.

Dress smart, study smart.

Schuey, tie.
Tie.

On, please.

No, I'm not going!
I haven't done anything!

I haven't said that you have,
and you need to calm down.

Leoni, you're not doing
yourself any favours.

Hey, Leoni.
I'm not going to inclusion.

I'm fine. I thought
you were on my side.

I am! Look, she's only doing
what I've asked her to.

We've got Ofsted in today.

We need to make a good impression.

Can you hand-on-heart promise me
you won't kick off with anyone?

All right, come on. Let's go.

Come on.

Hi. Is it Stella?

Dame Stella Drake.

I trust you found somewhere to park?

Nice to meet you.
And you.

Would you like to come through?

BELL RINGS

Have you ever taught art before,
sir?

No.

Please bear in mind that...

Oops, sorry.
Fine, thank you.

Please bear in mind, OK, that we
may be observed by Ofsted today,

so...
WHOOPING

No, no, that is not what it means.

All right? It means that
we have to be on our best behaviour

for the inspector,
taking pride in our...

What is he doing?
..lovely school.

Yes, Luca!

No. Oh, what are you...?

No, please, come on.

Right, OK. Right, I haven't got
time for this,

so can we just settle down?

That's good, yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, Ton, what's going on
with Portia?

What, the new look?

It's like she's gone football crazy.

She's just throwing herself into it.

Apparently my dad's really
helped her find a purpose.

I reckon it's good for her.

Was your dad looking for you before?

Oh, no, he's here to see Mr Donovan
about some football coaching.

Coaching here?

At the school?
Mm-hm.

Cool.

Ooh, nah.

Er, now, sir...!
LAUGHTER

My hands.

What are you doing?
That is hanging.

No!

Right, come on. We could have
Ofsted in any minute.

Get that off before it goes...

Do not do that.

Do not put in anyone's...

Er, excuse me. Portia, please.

Come on, wash it off now, OK?

That's enough.

She seems the same to me.

Doing anything
to get out of lessons.

Here you go.

These are the Alps figures
that you requested.

Having worked as an inspector
yourself,

you know that an emergency
inspection is indicative

of concerns being raised.

Concerns about the school
or concerns about me?

I'd hate to think that we were
being singled out

cos of my history with Ofsted.

It's nothing personal.

In fact, I have huge respect
for all you've achieved.

But we received information about
drugs in the school.

Yeah, but that has been dealt with.

Senior leadership have been working
closely with the police.

We also had parental complaints,

which necessitates us
observing lessons.

Nothing's off limits today.

And we have nothing to hide.

Oh, hi, Tony.

Portia, what are you doing here?

Did one of the lads
get on your nerves?

Do I need to ring an ambulance?

Nah, leave 'em.

So, have I made it onto the team
this week or what?

Well, I'm just figuring
all that out now.

Shouldn't you be in class?

Proper boring. I can't concentrate.

Really? You've got great
concentration in matches.

Yeah, that's cos it's fun.

Loads going on.

No time for your mind to wander?

Yeah.

Have you ever tried
the rubber band trick?

Here.

Whenever you find yourself
drifting off,

just a little snap -

like that -

just reminds you to come back
into the moment.

Worth a try.

You'd better get rid of
the victim's DNA.

Go on.

Thank you.

Ah, Tony.

Yeah. Thanks for coming in.

Tony's a qualified coach
from a local club.

Just one of the ways we are building
links with the community

and utilising external expertise.

Pleased to meet.
Nice to meet you.

Do you want to come through?

Is there a way to check if someone's
profile pic's not real?

Er, yeah.

It's a reverse image search.

Should be able to show if the photo
has been used anywhere else.

Oh.

Oh...

He might not be as local
as you thought, though.

Troy Webster?

A Deaf influencer from New York.

Sorry, Freds. That sucks.

So, the guy I'm messaging,
the photo's not him?

Is this a scam or, like,
some pervy grandad?

I mean, I suppose it could be
a real guy,

and he just doesn't want
to use his own photo.

Well, Lenin had a Utopian vision
of a new society -

one where land could be
redistributed to peasants

and workers were entitled
to unemployment pay and pensions.

Sir, I thought I read somewhere
that he wanted to ban history.

Well, you read wrong.

History is the bedrock of education.

The bedrock of fake news.

Yes, thank you for that, Lois.
Now..

I mean, the clue's in the title,
sir.

History. We never hear
about HERSTORY.

And history isn't even facts.

It's opinions. Men's opinions.

Here we go.

Herodotus, Geoffrey of Monmouth,
Lord Acton, Hobsbawm.

Name me one female historian.

Er...

Er, Mary Beard.

Bloke's name!

Pre-20th century.

Er...

I thought you knew everything.
LAUGHTER

Just, er...

Come on, sir.
Can't handle the pressure?

Yeah, er...
Are you all right, sir?

Neil?

Are you having a stroke?

LAUGHTER

Dad?

Neil...

Er, I've been informed
that it is my right

to request a break
in this inspection.

Right.

Thank you.

Bye!

Right, you get to see me lead
a lesson now.

Ah! All right, then. Take a seat.

And where did he even get
this photo?

What are you doing that for?

Just a thing you do
for concentration.

Tony showed it me.

Tony? As in Coach Tony?

Yeah.

He's in the office.

Saw him on the way down
to the toilets.

The office isn't on the way
to the toilets.

I took a little detour.

It's good.

I like it.

Well, football gives kids hope.

Teaching them teamwork
and responsibility.

And that's why everyone gets
an equal chance.

Same amount of time on the pitch.

And you got the session plans
I put together?

I did, yes. They are exactly
what we discussed.

Great.

Well, let me know
when you want me to start.

Today? Ofsted are in, so the more
positive things they see,

the better.

Sounds good.

Er, Mr Charles will have to observe
your sessions, obviously.

Perfect, yeah.
Great.

Well, it's novelty value, isn't it?

Well, you get taken for granted,

then he waltzes in with
his nauseating positivity.

Look, there is a time and place
for that.

But it's just the way
that he talks about his club.

It's like he actually manages
City or something.

Tonya's over the moon that
he's back, by the way.

Yeah, of course,
and I'm happy for her.

You know, as long as he
treats her right.

Exactly.

She's been there loads lately.

Yeah, Ashton, too.

Keeps raving on about this shed.

Shed?

Hey up.
Hey.

You ready for this grand tour,
then?

I certainly am. Thank you.

I mean, it's going to be a step
down from what you're used to

at the Etihad.

Don't worry. I'm not put off
by a soggy pitch

and some bad footballs.

Come on, then.

Rainforests are overrated.

My head turns to mush
when I've not had enough kip.

Mm. Are you're finding it hard
with Mia?

No, I love it.

I'm glad that you encouraged me
to take her.

Proper little character.

Couldn't imagine life without her.
Yeah, I know.

But it doesn't mean it's not tough,
though, does it?

I mean, it's not the exact
fairy tale

that I dreamed of.

But all I've ever wanted
is a family.

I do miss spending time with Noel,
though.

Not like that.

Noel reckons Mia's got me wrapped
around a little finger.

His nan's got him wrapped around
both her little fingers.

You know what, it was the same
when Jas was little.

No quality time for Dad.

And I do mean like that.

So, how did yous get through it?

We didn't. He, um...

He left me for his dental hygienist.

But, you know, that's not going to
happen with you and Noel.

No, no, no, no. Noel's got
twice the heart than my ex did.

Mum, I said don't show me up
when I am at school, man.

I'm not showing you up.

I'm just here.

That's what I mean.

Oh, thanks.

So, Donte was saying that Tony's got
some kind of shed or something?

The cave?

Oh, Mum! The cave!

It's got electric.

It's got Wi-Fi.

Dad said me and Ashton can go
and use it whenever we want -

and he's getting us a sofa bed
so we can stay over.

So, babe...
Yeah.

OK, if the door is there...
Yeah.

..and the sofa we turn there,

I'm thinking maybe a little table...

..for the telly.

Yeah, but it looks a bit cramped.

I'll practise shooting first, and
then we can swap over, if you want?

Do we always have to play football?

This is meant to be
our chillout time.

Right, I'll be back in one minute,
all right? Yeah.

Yeah!
How's it going, Izz?

Portia? Oh! I'm taking a training
session this afternoon.

You'll be there, right?
Yeah, defo.

That's brilliant.

And about this weekend?

Am I playing?

I'm going to start you
on central midfield.

Serious?!
You're going to be the playmaker.

Everything is going to go
through you.

I'm buzzing! I won't let you down.

You've worked really hard lately,
made good progress.

Proud of ya.

Ready? Yeah.

What's this all about?

Guess who's going to be starting
midfield this weekend?

Probably cos Rochelle's on holiday
so we need someone to fill in.

Huh, jealous much?

If you spent more time on the pitch
than you did on the catwalk,

Tony might actually notice ya.

Oi!

Are you actually mad?

What?

Saying that Ashton and Tonya
can stay over.

in "the cave",

sharing a bed?

Hey, hang on. I never said that.

Oh, well, Tonya can't wait.

I said they could hang out there.
Tonya could stay over.

I didn't say Ashton
could spend the night.

Well, even if they don't
sleep there, right,

two hot-blooded, hormonal teenagers

hidden away in some little shed -
that is a recipe for disaster!

Well, I don't want that
any more than you do. Right.

Well, you better fix this.

I mean it.

What are you doing?

Show me your phone.

Is it you on the app?

Look at me. Is it you pretending
to be someone you're not?

Playing games with me?
Laughing at me?

I opened up to ya.

Some friend you are.

Hey?

Do you fancy a bottle of fizz
and take-out later?

Celebrate you leading us to victory
over Ofsted.

Oh, it won't be my victory.

I am playing second fiddle
to Stella.

Oh, well, if it's first fiddle
that you're into.

NISHA GIGGLES

Not now.

Don't let Queen Drake
take all your glory.

You behave yourself.
You're the real King of the Jungle.

Not...
NISHA GROWLS

Not now. Behave yourself.

NISHA GROWLS
Go on, do the tiger. No.

Do the tiger.

Rah.
No, the big one.

DARIUS SNARLS

LAUGHTER
Oh, my God!

Oh, no. I am going.
Oh, my God.

MOCK GROWLING

Y-You shouldn't be in here.

Neither should you.

Oh, don't worry, sir.

Your secret's not safe with us.

Hah! Very good. Get to inclusion.

Inclusion?! That is so unfair.

I'm meant to be meeting the Ofsted
inspectors.

Well, you've blown that now,
haven't you? Go.

Ahem.
MOCK GROWLING

Go. Inclusion, now.

Oh, Forest.

Er, I would like you to join
the question-answer session

with the inspectors.

Er, I thought Harleen was doing it?

Well, she's not feeling well.

She looked all right to me.

Er...

You big the school up, though, yeah?

Tell 'em you're the best teacher
I've ever had.

Course you will.

Quickly.

BELL RINGS

So, sir, how come Macbeth is
the only one that can see

the ghost of Banquo?

Yeah, but is the ghost
actually there, though?

Or is it just because Macbeth
feels bad?

Yes, that is a very good point.

Perhaps, you know,
it's because of Macbeth's guilt,

manifesting as this spectre,

just lurking, reminding him of
all of his crimes.

Well, you must've done something
well bad, sir.

Cos look who's behind you!
LAUGHTER

Thank you, Shola.

OK, so I want you all to find
and write about

an example of Macbeth's guilt.

Off you go.

Why is that your screensaver?

It was my first time coming on
as a sub.

It's cos it's you and Tony together,
isn't it?

Oh, what are you on about?

You've got a crush on him.

Are you mad? Trying to find ways
to spend time with him,

like sneaking out of lessons -
or the other night.

I only asked him for a lift
cos it was Lucy's birthday.

I didn't want to be late.

I'm just looking out for you,

because I know the trouble
it causes when you get obsessed

with an older guy.

I was dead embarrassed when
people found out I liked Mike.

Are you tapped or summat?

Just cos you had
a weird thing for Mike?

Stay away from him, Portia.
I mean it.

I don't fancy him, all right?

Poor guy, better get running.

Do you want to shut up?

Portia, sit down.

Or do I need to shut you up?

OK, I think, as we have agreed,

when we can't control our anger,

we need to go to the inclusion
unit until you're ready

to rejoin classes.

Thank you.

Er, Miss? Well, if you
cause that much trouble

when you're sitting together,
then that's what you get, isn't it?

Eh? Move.

Oi! Can you calm down?

What's the matter, Portia?

Will I still be able to play
football after lunch,

getting sent here?

Let's just focus on getting to
lunchtime first, shall we?

Take a seat.

Eurgh, Miss, I'm not sitting next
to Chlamydia Girl.

Oh, you're lucky I don't smash
your head in!

Right. Sorry.

Back soon. Keep an eye on 'em
for me.

Portia!

Portia, wait!

Come back inside,
and let's talk about this.

What for? I hate this place.

Aw, come on. It's not that bad.

Oh, you so don't everything it,
do ya?

Portia? What's up?

This school. It sucks.

OK. I hear ya.

Every time I try and do anything,
someone ruins it, even Shola.

I thought she was my mate.

She proper turned on me.

So, you're angry? Fine.

What do we say about anger
in training?

It can...

It can be...

..en... Ene... ..energising.

Yeah, but you've got to keep it
under control, remember?

Don't let 'em get in your head.

Same as on the pitch.

Control, concentration, confidence.

I just don't know if they'll let me
play in the session after lunch.

Well, Mrs Walters has got your back.

Maybe she can have a word?

Hey.

Can I just remind you

that you're here to teach football -
not do my job?

Hey.

Hey.
How's it going with Tony?

Er, yeah. Yeah, good.
I mean, he was laughing

at the state of our equipment, but
you got to give it to him, though.

Definitely knows his football.

Yeah, that's the idea.

He's got experience coaching girls
at club level,

so hopefully he can get more
to take it up at school.

Yeah.

Might be something Izzy could
get involved with.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

You know, she could do with
an outlet.

I mean, she actually used to play.

She's just not been
interested in ages.

Well, you never know till you ask.
Yeah.

Doing a great job - as a teacher
and a dad.

Tony is just here to help you out.

Not here to tread on your toes.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Hey, look, I was thinking
about asking him

if we could use his club's
pitches this afternoon.

I mean, they're only around
the corner.

Ours are always waterlogged,
you know?

You need a snorkel to play on 'em.

What do you think?
It'd look good for Ofsted.

Yeah, I like it.

Great idea.

Mm.

It's got a bit of a kick.
Good, yeah?

Hey, you should try it with
some chicken wings, though.

Right, Noel, make this quick.

I'd, er...

Yeah, er...

I'd, er, like a pay rise.

That'll be decided at your review.

Right, well, is there any way
we can bring it forward?

Because I've done
my apprenticeship now

and I've got responsibilities.

Yeah, I'm impressed at the way
you're stepping up.

But... Look, Stace is working
so hard, yeah,

to keep up with school
and look after Mia.

I just want to take 'em on
a family holiday?

I'm sorry, Noel, but the school
budget is fixed.

The only time we can look
at any changes

is at your performance review.

Wait. Noel...

..I've got a plan.

Oh, I heard we're playing
at the club later.

Yeah. All thanks to Mr Charles.
That's great.

Actually, Shola,
have you got a minute?

Yeah, of course.

I just wanted to ask if maybe
you could go easy on Portia.

Why? What's she said?

No, not much.

It's just I think Portia's
a bit more vulnerable

than she seems, being in foster care
and stuff.

So, maybe tread gently around her,
yeah?

I was just worried about her,
I thought...

What?

I thought she had a crush on you,

but she went crazy when I said it.

A crush?

Right, well, I'm glad you told me.

You were just looking out for her?

You're a good friend.

TONYA: After all the dumps
you have made us stay in,

I have finally found
somewhere for me.

Somewhere nice!
Will you stop it?

You just...! You ruin everything!

Tonya, don't.

Oh, yeah, "Let's give it
a raincheck for the weekend."

It was her doing, wasn't it?

Don't take it out on your mum.
She was just looking out for ya.

Looking our for me?

She is a control freak!

CHILDREN LAUGH

That was you fixing it.
Well, I was trying, but...

Stop promising her things
without asking me.

Stop making me the bad guy.

Well, stop playing the bad guy.

I beg your pardon?!

Look for a solution.

We can make it work, Nick.

Tonya, Ashton, the shed.

I'll keep an eye on 'em,
hang out with 'em.

It'll be fine.

Me and Ashton get on.
Oh, yeah.

Cos yours is the fun house, right?

Hey, all three of you together,

gaming, listening to tunes,

watching films? I'll make sure
she does her homework, too.

I've got her desk set up.
Oh, why don't I just drop

all her stuff off at yours?

What?

All her medication, her clothes,
her textbooks.

What are you saying?

All them years when she was little,

all them birthdays.

I had to watch her every time
the doorbell rang,

jumping up, running to the door,

hoping that it was
her waster of a dad,

when he couldn't be bothered.

And now,

now you decide to show up!

What can I do? Tell me.

And now she's spending more and more
time with you, and...

Do not touch me!

I had to do everything on my own.

The sleepless nights, the tantrums,

dragging two cranky little kids
to the shop

every time I needed a pint of milk.

And I hate myself for that.

I swear.
It's worse now.

Back then I was knackered.

Yeah, I was. But I was...

I was surrounded by life and love.

And now I'm just...

It's just me.

Me and Ton row.

You know, we do.

And she does my head in, I swear.

But I love the bones of that girl.

She's part of me.

You are. You are tearing away
a part of me.

SHE SNIFFS

Come over...

..with Tonya for dinner.

What?
As friends.

You shouldn't be on your own -
on the outside of this.

So be a part of it, Nick.

Portia.

I spoke to Shola earlier.

And what did she say?

Something about you having
a crush on me?

I told her she was wrong.

I said I only asked for a lift
cos it was Lucy's birthday.

You... You told her
that I was giving you lifts?

Er, no, not exactly.

I just thought she might have
seen us or...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

I thought I could trust you, Portia.

Hey, all set?

Yeah.

Go and catch up with the others.

Do you play much football, Izzy?

No, not for ages anyway.

Well, wait till you see our club.

Beautiful pitches,
not a classroom in sight.

And it's just around the corner.

You never know,
it might inspire you.

Come on.

So, let's move on to the sayings
for our trig functions.

I'll go first.

Some old horses chew apples happily
throughout old age.

Who's next?

Maya.

Oscar had a heap of apples.

Brilliant. Anyone else?

Declan.

Er, studying our homework
can help obtain achievement.

Fabulous.

Have we got any more?

Go on, then, Forest.

Er, send out horrid children

and help Ofsted assessment.

LAUGHTER

Forest, that's not funny.
I think he's a bit confused.

We've taken some pupils out
randomly for their Q&A.

Me again, allow me to pick up
where I left off...

That's it, Portia.

Yes, it's in! Well in!
And I'm Picasso with the pen

Until I hit them with the realness

Figured I should say some'
but you don't wanna hear me vent

You can talk bad all day long
I will never be impressed...

Take it with you, Shola.
Take it with you.

That's it, Portia.

Seriously?! Shola, what are you
playing at?

Get in!
Yes, Shola!

Great finish!

Portia, where's your head at?

Eh? Concentration.

Let's go.
Least say it with your chest

Got my team on deck taking out
all pawns...

Portia, that's it!

Come on, Portia!

Oh!

Portia. Hey, take a break.
What?

Serious?
Cat, you're in midfield.

Tony, please?

Get your head in the game, yeah?

Never been a punk, trust you can
get it in the worst way

May as well get a birthday cake

And it ain't even my birthday...

Are you going to let her take it
off ya?

Get after it. All that energy,
all that frustration, use it.

Get that ball back.

I said it with my chest
And I don't care who I offend...

That's it, Izzy!

Uh-huh...

Keep going! Shoot!

Yes!

Well in!
Great finish.

Izzy, that was amazing.

Go on, Tonya.

Go on. Keep going.
You can do it.

Yes! Great finish, Tonya!
Get in!

That's what I'm talking about!

I'll make a striker of you yet!

I said it with my chest

And I don't care who I offend.

Will you just calm down, all of ya?

Sit down, please!

Sit down now!

Stop it! Why? You're not even
a real teacher.

We heard you were just a cook.

Hey! Hey!

Sit down, all of you! Now!

This is unacceptable.

Why is there so many in here?

Well, Darius sent 'em.

I can cope with ten,
but this is too many.

Did you not know?

No.

No, I didn't.

This is a safe space, OK?
So just be honest.

These inspectors
aren't here to judge you.

They just want to know how you
feel about the school.

Thank you, Mr Donovan.

That's absolutely correct. We're
not here to judge you, but to...

The hell?

What's up, weirdos?

Right, everybody.
Grab a chair, please.

To get a true cross-section
of our school,

I thought it only right
that you heard

from some of our reintegration
students.

Thank you, Mr Donovan.

We'll take it from here.

Yeah, it might be best
if I stayed, actually.

I think some of our pupils have
anxiety around strangers.

Ofsted protocol is that
no teaching staff is present.

Don't worry, sir.
Your secret's safe with us.

Yeah, we wouldn't tell them
about you and Miss Chandra.

It's not just them.
They're all at it.

Mr Casey and Mr Swift.

And Mr Guthrie got Miss Walker
pregnant.

If they were any good, they'd be
teaching somewhere better than here.

That says more about you
than it does about them.

Yeah, well, they need a medal
for putting up with liars like you.

Excuse me?

There's a lot of wrong 'uns
in this school.

Pot, kettle?
Well, yeah, I am a wrong 'un.

But that's how everyone's
always treated me.

Every other school I've been to,
they didn't give me a chance.

But there's actually
some decent teachers here.

They're harsh, but you can tell
that they're bothered.

And you can talk to them
about things, and they do care.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Whoo!
Yes, well, played.

Great match, girls. Great match.

Good game, Shola. We've been
missing you down at the club.

Why don't you come down at
the weekend, start in midfield?

Oh, well, I usually play
with defence, so...

Well, give it a try.

Is Shola starting in midfield
at the weekend?

Maybe you should take a step back
from the team for a bit.

Get your head together.

But I thought I was
the playmaker now?

You messed up.

Try using this next time, yeah?

Hey, everything all right?

Yeah, just teenage girls
and their drama.

Do your head in sometimes,
don't they?

Thank you for your honesty, Forest.

You should never have been put
in that position.

Have you completely lost your mind?

Me? You're the one who brought
the inclusion unit into the Q&A.

A Q&A that was meant to be
representative

of this school.

When you set up the inclusion unit,

you talked about trusting
young people.

Now, where is the trust
in hiding away

our more challenging students
rather than giving them a voice?

I was just bending the rules -
the same as you.

Playing the game.
No, this isn't playing.

This is cheating.

Do you have any idea how many
good schools fail an inspection

because of one stupid decision?

I was doing it for the school.

No, you did it for yourself, Darius.

You bribed a student
to make you look good.

So you sabotaged the inspection
to teach me a lesson

and to give yourself an out?

I'm the sacrificial lamb?

I just don't know
who you are any more.

KNOCKING
Yes?

Hiya.

You shouldn't be in here.

I just wanted to say,

if Shola or anyone asks,

I'll say I asked you for a lift
and you said no,

and I've never been in your car.

I don't know what to do, Portia.

You've put me in
a difficult position.

I'm so sorry, Tony! I swear!

Please let me make it up to ya!

I even bought you a present,
you know -

for working so hard.

But now...

What was it?

If you want to talk,
I'll be at the club tonight.

OK, nearly there.

What's going on, Noel?
You're freaking me out.

Ta-dah!

Why am I looking at
a mouldy old tent? What?

I'll leave you to it.

Cheers, Wendy.

It's the old Duke of Edinburgh
stuff.

Yeah? And, look, I know how much you
was looking forward to going away,

but I can't really afford Ibiza
at the minute.

So I thought that, you know,
we could go camping, yeah?

And I can make up for all the fun
that you're missing out on.

I'm not missing out.

It's a bit naff, right,

and it's all I can afford right now,

but it won't always be like this.

Yeah? One day, I'll give you
the life you deserve.

Then we can have, like,
a huge wedding, yeah?

And a swanky villa in Ibiza
for the honeymoon.

I don't need any of that, Noel.

I just want to be a family,
and you to promise me that

you're never going to leave me
for your hygienist.

What?

I don't have a hygienist, Stace.

You and Mia are all I need.

I don't need a swanky villa
or a big wedding.

I'd marry you in that tent.

I mean, I think we could stretch
for a registry office.

Yeah? Well, let's get
the date booked.

Really? Mia needs to know that
she's got a proper family,

and I need to know that we've always
got each other's backs.

Right, well, I've got yous.

Yeah?

But if you think I'm staying
in that tent,

you've got another thing coming.

It did not go unnoticed

that you're using technicalities
to hinder our inspection.

I'm not going to apologise
for protecting my staff

against stress and humiliation.

It's not our intention
to humiliate anyone.

We're here to support schools.

I don't need your support.

I've been turning schools around
since you were in nappies.

And that doesn't make you
immune from scrutiny.

I'm sorry for yelling at ya.

TRANSLATION: No, you were right.

It was me on the app.

I knew it were you.

How could ya, Luca?

Is this your idea of a joke?

No, of course not.

Everything I said in those messages
was true,

about how much I liked you

and how I can't stop thinking
about you.

But then, why?

Why pretend to be someone else?

I was just pretending to be normal,
someone that you'd go out with.

I don't care about normal.

What kind of a person
do you think I am?

A hearing person!

So what?
So, we're different.

We live in two different worlds.

It's not that different.

I mean, we're at the same school.

We're in the same classes.

The same friends.

No, it's not the same.

Look how you can chat with
all your hearing friends,

and it's so easy and natural.

You don't even have to
think about it.

And then look how we have to talk.

But I've been learning some sign.

I've been trying really hard to
make you feel included.

And I really appreciate that.

I do. And I'm not saying this
to offend you,

but it's a bit like baby talk.

And it's not enough for me.

I'm sorry.

I need real communication.

I need connection.

You have that with
your hearing friends,

and I have it with my Deaf friends.

But, Freddie,
we don't have that together.

Right, so, can we expect
intervention?

You'll be informed of our decision
in due course.

Whatever the outcome,
we'll be recommending changes.

Tonya...

Ton...

I'm sorry, love, about the cave.

Of course you can hang out there.

OK, this is the part where you
say sorry for shouting at me

at my place of work and totally
undermining my authority.

Yeah, obviously. Yeah.

Mm.

Tony was saying
maybe we could get dinner.

He's got some mad idea that...

That we should all do something
together?

Yeah, that was my idea.

I just thought, you know, we can get
some food, watch a movie.

Hmm!

Hey! You were great today.
I was buzzing watching ya.

Yeah, when the coach was talking
about anger, I thought,

"Maybe I could put all my energy
into this

"and maybe it'd stop coming out
in other ways," you know?

So, what did you think about
my dad, then?

He's great, isn't he?
Yeah. Yeah, he's great.

Looks like he's winning everyone
over after all, eh?

Mm. See ya later.

I'm sorry.

About earlier.

I shouldn't have lost my temper.

No, it was my fault.

You know it's cos I care about you,
don't you?

Yeah, I know.

And cos of these stupid rules.

Honestly, the teachers would rather
I'd got mugged

on the way homed than got a lift.

I just...

..don't want anything to jeopardise
our friendship...

..or get us in trouble.

I'll be more careful.

Promise.

Do you want this present, then,
or what?

Erm, yeah.

Close your eyes.

Oh!
Brand-new, your size.

Oh, Tony, love it!

Thank you!

Try it on.

Where are you going?

Toilets.

There's no need for that.

Just try it on here.

I thought you wanted to
make it up to me.

Didn't go as badly as I thought.

At least I didn't end up wearing
Nicky's trousers like last time.

LAUGHTER

Yeah!

To be fair, the inspector
in my class

cared about the kids' mental health.

Mm. What about my mental health?

I've never crumbled like that
before.

I'll get them.

Thank you all for your efforts.

Look, whatever the outcome,

I am so proud of you all
for pulling together.

Same again?
Oh, yeah. Thank you. Yes, please.

Give me a hand?
Yeah...

How did it go with Serena-Michelle?

Oh, well, we've had more genial
exchanges.

I made a mistake thinking that
today was about me,

but it was about the kids
and the staff.

I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier.

Our failings are down to me -
not you.

It's my fault for giving you
too much responsibility.

You're clearly not ready for it yet.

Well, you will be one day -

but until then, I am going to
resume the day-to-day control.

Hey. What was all that about?

She's taking away
my extra responsibilities.

After everything I've done.

Relax.

It just means you get paid the same
but to do less work.

Win-win in my book.

Be happy.

If Shola was right about you having
a crush on me, I wouldn't mind.

Cos it's mutual.

I really like you, Portia.

And you look amazing in that top.

But you'd look even better
out of it.

DOOR BANGS
Hello?

You wait till I've gone,
then you sneak out.

Don't make a sound.

MUFFLED: His car's out there.

Hello?
Surprise!

Oh!
LAUGHTER

God, you idiots! I thought someone
had broken in.

What, broken in with pizza?

Yeah, well, I'm not complaining.

You said we should eat together,
so...

Well, I'm glad
you changed your mind.

Oh, listen to this, right.

Mum is getting me a top kettle

that lights up for you
when it boils.

Well, if you want the cave
to be cosy,

then you're going to need to be
able to make a brew, aren't ya?

And I'm going to need a cold box
for the milk, then, aren't I?

Mm-hm.
You should come see it.

Er, yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

Help Tonya with the plans.

Get it up to the standard
that she deserves.

Aw!

Of course, if you wanted to,

you can get me a karaoke machine
as well?

No, I'm all right with the kettle,
thanks.

God loves a trier, eh, Ton?

LAUGHTER

DOOR BANGS

What was that?

It's just this old club.

Makes random noises.

One sec.

Anybody there?

Ah!

Door wasn't closed. That's all.

Aw, it's cool, this, isn't it?
This broken-family bonding thing.

How often do you see Preston?
Oh, hardly ever.

Trains are so expensive,
that's why.

We should go see him, this weekend.

I thought he wasn't returning
your calls?

He texted me yesterday,
agreed to meet, so...

Oh, I'd love to see Preston, Mum.

Oh, Mum, please. Come on.

Do you have any idea of the cost
of London hotels?

I'll book an Airbnb.

Don't overthink it, Nick.

Oh, Mum. Right, you, me,
Dad, Preston.

It'll be fun.

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