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Every evening in Telangana,

as the sky breaks into saffron and ash,

women return home carrying the weight of the day,

and the weight of centuries.

Their hands nurture,

Their eyes protect.

Their hearts endure.

And still..

somewhere beneath the neon lights of Hyderabad,

or under a lone street lamp,

in a far away village..

While the world forgets,

a girl disappears.

Her mother's cry fractures the air..

Her father's shadow trembles by the door..

But the world continues its cruel procession,

of convenience, headlines, and hashtags.

We worship the goddess,

but abandon the girl.

So tell me,

where do the voices go,

when no one is listening?

"In Hyderabad, the nation’s conscience”

“was once again stirred.."

"with the gang rape and murder,”

“of a veterinary doctor."

"Anger over the incident was seen on the streets,”

"nationwide, several students unions and private organizations,"

"protested demanding justice"

“The case has sent shockwaves across the nation,”

"and has brought to the fore the vulnerability of women."

"to such crimes despite laws made after the Nirbhaya case."

Actually, back then Lingapur, Gosampally,

Ram Naik Thanda and Yellapatar

They were all extremist affected areas.

They are thick forest areas.

Due to which police movement is limited.

When I was the SubInspector from 199295,

we used to traverse these forest areas on foot.

25 years later, when I became the DSP,

these forest areas have become plain.

Vehicles can now move through Yellapattar via Lingapur.

Back then, vehicle movement was limited.

We travelled only on foot.

The men here chopped teak wood,

from the forests and used to sell it.

The women used to stay at home,

brewed and sold ‘Gudumba’ (country liquor).

Other adivasis (tribes) were into agriculture.

For many agriculture was their livelihood.

The interior of the village did not have CCTVs.

They did not have electricity or internet.

Without these, CCTVs were not an option.

At Lingapur Police Station, we have 18 officers.

They handle Civil, Law and Order and crime cases.

We covered almost all the villages,

within a 1830 kilometre radius,

from the Lingapur Police Station.

When we received the complaint of a missing woman

People informed us that she used to

travel these villages selling steel vessels.

We wanted to find out how long she was in the village.

And whether she had travelled to Ram Naik Thanda,

or if some disturbance happened along the way.

Based on these doubts, the search began.

I received a phone call from Lingapur Police station.

They asked me to bring along a photo and video camera.

When I arrived at the scene.

I was in shock, seeing what had happened there.

I met the police present at the crime scene.

They showed me the dead body.

The body resembled that of a slaughtered sheep.

It was a disturbing sight, seeing the body.

The body was disrobed, it was very unsettling

It felt like she was tortured,

before she was killed.

We found one of her slippers elsewhere.

The body looked like it was dragged into a ditch.

I was scared just looking at it.

I've never seen anything like this before.

This was a very heinous offence.

We were looking at a case of gang rape and murder.

A case like this

was the first time the area had seen such a heinous crime.

Hajipur is a village, under the divisions,

of my police station's limits.

It is a part of the Bommalaramaram mandal,

Hardly 10 kilometers from Keesara.

Hajipur was just two kilometers from the mandal headquarters.

Actually, a village bond is greater than the city bond.

In a village, every first house knows every last house.

In a village background,

their cultures are different and the village bond is different.

The village never had a serious history,

of crime, worth talking about.

Even if we go through the crime records,

It was a quiet and peaceful village.

Although we aren’t a large village,

our village has 260 houses.

We have a population of 1200 people.

We lived happily and cordially.

With a good atmosphere, and kind people.

It is a nice and peaceful village.

At that time, the entire village was shaken,

knowing that a predator lurked among us.

On 21st January, I was elected as the Sarpanch.

I was sworn in on 2nd February,

in the same Gram Panchayath.

And on April 24th,

the missing case of Sravani began.

The school started early, from 6:00 A.M.

They had special online education classes,

for 10th grade students.

I sent her off, and she would return after school.

She wouldn’t go unless it was for the special classes.

Everyday, she came home by 12:30 or 1:00 P.M

Even if sometimes, she missed that window,

there was a bus around 2:30 P.M.

I go to the school, that day to pick her up.

hoping to spare her the heat, on her way back.

But they informed me that she had already left.

Upon further enquiry, I was told,

she left with one Pardapuram Pravallika.

and another girl.

One of the girls said she got down

at Pardapuram from a passenger auto.

She said that Sravani went ahead.

I went to the Auto stand to enquire about her.

The driver said he dropped her off,

at the Ramaram bus stand,

then took a Uturn and came back.

I started to panic.

Though I was anxious throughout.

As I was coming back from Chikati Mamidi village,

I called up our Sarpanch.

I also called three or four of my friends.

Immediately, in the next five minutes,

we all landed up at the Police station.

And we filed a missing case.

When the case was filed, we had one inspector, Surender Reddy.

He was the Circle Inspector for Bhuvanagiri Rural.

I met him regarding this case,

of a 14yearold missing girl.

I asked him to take on the case and supervise it.

We soon established our police teams.

The locals had their own search team,

like I said they share a close bond.

All the youngsters in our village,

we formed a team of 50 to 60 members.

Dividing into groups of 10,

we split up and searched everywhere.

Everyone joined, youth, elderly, men, women..

From Bommalaramaram to Hajipur.

We searched a stretch of four kilometers

From left to right, including the wells.

We split into five teams and searched.

We all searched.

Villages of Ramaram and Maisi Redy Palle.

We also searched Bhongir railway station,

Raigiri railway station,

all the way to Jinnaram Railway station.

Every single well, every river, every ditch.

We searched everywhere, leaving no stone unturned.

We enquired the locals in neighbouring villages.

Thinking they might have taken her somewhere.

We searched through the darkness of the night.

Behind the Model School, past the large tree,

the entire area is a forest.

It is a deserted area,

we searched there until 1:00 A.M.

But we could not find a trace of the girl.

The very next day, the villagers resumed,

Split into seven or eight teams,

they searched the surrounding areas.

Initially we had 40 to 50 youngsters,

By evening, we had over 100 members searching.

In the morning, we split into twothree batches

and began searching.

During the search, one batch revisited areas,

where the dog squad, searched and confirmed she was not there.

While the teams were busy searching,

at the outskirts of Hajipur, they found the girl’s school bag.

Inside a completely drained and dried up well.

When they brought in the dog squad,

where they found her school bag.

The dogs sniffed the surrounding areas,

but could not trace her.

After they searched, a couple of villagers..

noticed an unusual heap in the well.

They spotted it when they looked inside.

since there was no water.

There was a faint yet unusual smell.

To trace the smell, they went down into the well.

After we found her bag, I was filled with terror.

Everyone knew by then,

but no one had the heart to tell me.

When one search party member went down the well.

He couldn't comprehend the overpowering smell

Alarmed by the whole situation, and the rotting stench.

He requested additional help to come down.

So another boy went down the well.

Both started digging around with a stick.

They found her whole arm, buried.

They found her clothing, and her body was found,

all dark and swollen.

It was hard to recognise her.

After they got her out, they said the eyeballs were missing.

Her face was so swollen, I could not see her eyes.

It was 21st May, 2020.

Afternoon, around 3:30 P.M.

A person named Juluri Bhaskar comes to the Police station.

He was the complainant.

In his complaint he said

that one Maqsood Alam and his entire family were missing.

We were getting many missing complaints, mostly from workers.

Since it was the the first wave of Corona,

most went back to their respective villages,

without informing anyone.

The complainant said, Maqsood also

may have left without informing.

Acting on the missing complaint, we go there.

After reaching there, we notice a big well,

next to where the family stayed.

We noticed a track that suggested something had been dragged.

The trail led to a wall and ended there.

The tracks looked like a prey was killed,

and dragged across by the predator.

We initially thought it must have been that.

Around 5:00 P.M,

we spot a dead body floating inside the well.

We were suspicious that there could be something more in the well.

Between 6:30 and 7:00 P.M.,

a total of four bodies were found.

After shifting the bodies, acting on a suspicion, the next day,

using five motors,

we pumped the water out of the well.

And oneafter another,

we found five more dead bodies.

The media concluded that the bodies found

were all suicides by migrant workers in COVID19, due to lack of food.

They ran this case as their breaking news.

On the 22nd, they filed a petition against us in High Court and Human Rights Commission.

They claimed that, due to hunger, they had all killed themselves.

That day we figured out, that one of the deceased

Shahbaz Alam,

It was his birthday

They got cold drinks and food to celebrate.

During our investigation,

we found halfeaten plates of food.

Acting on a suspicion,

we collected samples from those plates.

We found, a certain drug was mixed in the food.

They are tablets, used to induce sleep.

At the crime scene 81 tablets of 2 mg were found.

We found traces of it in the cold drinks and disposed glasses.

We also find a certain masala packet.

How could a poor family like them,

afford a masala that expensive?

I had my doubts.

We collected all of these, from the crime scene.

Killing nine people,

without disturbing the scene

would need at least 18–20 attackers.

One victim would be held by twothree attackers,

making it easy to kill.

But

in this crime scene, nothing is disturbed.

No cellphones were present.

Generally, when one commits suicide,

their phones are at home.

But no phone was found at their home.

There were uneaten plates of food left behind.

There was no reason for them to commit suicide in the middle of their meal.

No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t understand the case.

We tried to connect the dots to the suspects.

From the family of the deceased,

we knew Maqsood Alam.

We learned about Maqsood Alam’s daughter, Khatun.

Khatun had a love affair,

and he shows up at the birthday party.

He showed up with another person. Sanjay Kumar

These were the two other people at the party

When we say 'birthday party'.

It wasn't really a party in the usual sense.

Shabaz called me in the morning, I wished him.

He said he was coming this side to Warangal.

He arrived after a while. After half hour I met him.

I was there until evening.

We all sat and talked.

Nisha aunty and others arrived,

They usually come for lunch, in the afternoon.

So we all sat down to eat lunch.

Nisha aunty left for work after lunch.

We sat for a while, then I left in the evening.

Then all of this unfolded.

I tried calling them in the morning,

all their phones were switched off.

I tried calling everyone.

I thought their phones were charging.

or were switchedoff.

Or maybe there was no electricity to charge,

I kept calling till evening, it was switched off.

I did not go to their house

since they would call me back.

That night,

two police jeeps arrived at my house.

I was sitting right in front of my house.

They entered the house, hurriedly.

They broke down doors and searched the house.

This commotion caught the neighbours’ attention.

So, I approached the SubInspector,

he was showing me photographs for identification.

The very first photograph he showed, was of my girlfriend.

I was stuck in a state of fear.

Her body was bloated, and her skin split open.

Completely blackened and bruised.

I just stood there, not knowing what to do.

I was in shock, looking at those photographs,

I instantly recognized it was her.

I didn’t know what to say.

Even though they suspected me,

I went to the police myself to speak to them.

They took me to the Police station.

I was the only one they had found so far.

They had no other information on the case.

They said only I knew the family,

since she was my girlfriend.

“Why would I kill her?”

“What reason would I have?”

She was my girlfriend, there was no necessity.

Why care for her all these years, only to kill her?

I’m confused about who the murderer could be.

“I never thought you’d question me like this.”

“Someone else must have done this.”

"Otherwise, the family didn't know anyone else."

“They don’t know anyone apart from my family, and their neighbours”

“They don’t have any other relatives here.”

They asked if I had her mother's phone number.

I shared the number with them.

They tapped the number and crossverified the call logs.

They found a call had been made around 5:00 P.M.

Between Sanjay Kumar and Nisha aunty,

The call lasted for half an hour.

There was another call that lasted 15 minutes.

They traced the number to uncover the identity of this Sanjay Kumar.

The police approached me once more,

seeking information about Sanjay.

They asked if he had visited the family that day.

I confirmed, Sanjay did come that day.

I explained that he knew the family from before.

They did not doubt him initially.

After detaining me at the police station for an entire day,

I later realised Nisha Alam had a sister,

yet nobody from the family came after the news.

I wondered what happened to her sister,

I wen to the officer and informed him about the sister.

Sanjay Kumar used to stay with this sister.

We followed this lead and first searched Sanjay Kumar’s house.

We did not find anything incriminating.

which means, any sort of evidence

that would frame him as the perpetrator.

After which we searched the sister’s house.

We checked the whole house.

We discovered some masala packets.

This is the same expensive masala we found at the crime scene.

Here, they're using the same brand as well.

We started connecting the dots.

A suspicion started to rise.

There was a Walmart located within 15 kilometres.

There was a receipt with all the items purchased.

This particular brand of masala was listed on it.

We went to the store, explained the details to them.

Handed the masala packets from the scene, and the receipt

We instructed them to compare the barcodes on the product,

to know whether they were the same purchase.

The manager confirmed that they were indeed the same.

We immediately acted and investigated the CCTV footage.

We obtained footage of his movements at the store.

Similarly, the chicken shop owner recognized him.

At the same time,

the cold drinks shopkeeper also recognised him.

Confirming that the cold drinks were purchased there.

We also had CCTV footage of him on the cycle,

before and after the murder.

Leaving the scene on the cycle.

But we couldn’t understand his motive for the murder.

There should be some motive, right?

“Back in Hyderabad, people were distributing sweets and bursting crackers.”

“All four rape accused have now been killed in a police encounter,”

“In fact, the cops claim that the four accused”

“were shot dead after they tried to flee.”

“Indians are not bloodthirsty,”

“they are disillusioned.”

“They have lost faith in the justice system.”

“Thousands of rape cases still await trial.”

“and the conviction rate is abysmal.”

“So while extrajudicial killings shouldn’t be condoned”

“can you really blame people,”

“who celebrate such instant justice?”

They caught these criminals in Jainoor.

And brought them to my office in Asifabad.

They were immediately taken to the DSP Office.

After I spoke to them personally for 10 minutes.

I instructed the R.D.O, since it’s a sensational case,

to allot all government panchas (witnesses).

All government employees were set as witnesses.

We also got a photographer to record..

their confessions and seizure reports.

The deceased’s clothes, and the murder weapon were also video taped.

were also recorded and video taped.

We didn’t know who was behind this murder.

We thought someone lured her into the forest,

and did something to her.

I was doubting everyone.

But didn’t know it was these motherfuckers all along.

These guys slipped right through our hands.

We would have killed them right there,

but we didn’t know.

We did not know then. What to do now?

Who saw it?

Who saw him doing it? Nobody did. My son was home.

First the police took her son for two days, then they took mine.

He was at his job, making cement rings.

He used to make
rings for a living.

He made drain
rings for bathrooms.

He was home, all day. In the evening the police just took him.

I asked them where was he being taken?

They said he was only being taken nearby.

My son used to behave well with women.
My son had four children of his own.

Her son had young children.
Very young, they lived together.

Husband, wife, and the children, they all lived in the same village.

He has four children, the eldest child is a 12yearold girl.

Even my son is a father of five.

It was the three of us Shabuddin, Maqdoom, and me.

We were all heading back, drunk.

Shabuddin was the first to attack her, she fell down.

After she fell, she was shouting, so I rushed to cover her mouth.

All my clothes were stained with her blood. Theirs too.

After we raped her, she died.

Afterwards, Maqdoom left, followed by Shabuddin, don’t know where they went.

Maybe they went to take a shower.

I went home, took a shower, cleaned the blood off this shirt.

Lakshmi used to come.
Poor thing she used to come.

She used to come, sell and leave.
Yes she did.

She had been coming for the last six or seven years.

I used to talk to her.

She was a nice lady.
She was darkskinned.

She was not pretty.
She was dark, yes she wasn’t pretty.

She looked like us.

She was very loving.

It was her caring nature, that took her away from everyone.

Things she loved were taken away.

Words will not do justice, we keep reminiscing.

But this is all I am going to say. Thank you.

This is all I can tell.

We keep talking, but it’s all for nothing.

Such dreadful things should not happen, even to our worst enemies.

He was a friend of Babu’s.
No, he was not a friend of my son.

It was the two of them, Shabuddin wouldn’t meet them.
He is a brother.

He took them and roamed everywhere, and didn’t even let him come home

No, no it is all wrong.
My son didn’t allow them inside our home for three days.

No, he was roaming around for three days.

He was at home for three days.
When the police arrived, my son was home.

My son was home, when the police came.
Khatun: My son did not allow them in the home.

This happened eight days before.

Even when the police came, my son was home.

No, it was Babu who was behind this.
Even when they got the dog squad, my son was home.

He was taking different names, that Babu.

Did she hear those names?
Yes. Our Shabuddin claimed those names were wrong.

She’s speaking with halfknowledge.
Don’t talk like that, you're uninformed.

Listen, I am getting up and going.
Stop all of this.

I am having a pain in my chest, I am also recovering from malaria.

Yes, I'm starting to get a headache too. I can’t stand halfbaked information.

I don’t want to play this blame game.

News Reporter: "Residents of Nirmal,”

“Gosampalle celebrate following the sentencing of criminals to death."

"They expressed happiness, saying the right punishment has been served to these predators."

"They also welcome the quick and timely decision of the court."

When we were going from Jainoor Police Station to Bhutkur for court proceedings.

Our vehicles were stopped by public, they created a ruckus.

After that when we were shifting them,

From the Adilabad Jail,

to Hyderabad’s Forensic Science Laboratory.

The locals got to know we are taking them to Hyderabad.

They wanted to kill them, and pressurized us.

There was a public outcry, but we operated as per the law.

And that’s how we succeeded in the case.

I won’t say we were instrumental in helping the victims’ family.

But her husband, Gopi was offered a government job,

as per the S.C/S.T Act,

10 lakhs was also sanctioned as compensation

for the murder and rape.

Their son was enrolled in a good school.

I couldn't bring the victim back to life.

I could not bring Lakshmi back to her husband,

but in every other way, we have helped them.

I went back to Bommalaramaram police station on the 29th.

Since the inspector began his investigation,

he investigated the dead body at night.

And wanted to revisit the well.

He went to the well,

During this investigation, in that same well,

another corner caught his attention.

Feeling suspicious, upon closer observation,

he saw flies in that corner.

He noticed something black,

he suspected there could be another dead body.

So we tried to crosscheck our records,

there was another missing girl in the village

Manisha at that time,

was attending her degree college

There were no other means of transport available.

She would take the bus to go there and return.

Right before the summer holidays,

It was her last exam, so she went to attend.

I remember it was Shivratri,

on the 7th, when she left.

She would frequently go there and come back.

To my aunt’s place or my brothers’ house.

She used to go.

We thought she was at my brother’s house,
she was not there.

She was neither at her aunt’s place.

I didn't file a complaint, nor did I tell anyone.

Because she was used to traveling on her own.

She used to go every year,

during holidays.

We presumed she was there.

The whole story came to light after Shravani's body was recovered.

Until then, we did not know.

We thought our girl was still alive.

After we searched, they filed a complaint,

saying their daughter was missing as well.

They filed the case on the 29th.

After that, we recovered the dead body,

from the other corner of the well.

We found her skeletal remains and her school bag.

When we looked at her name,

it matched the one in the missing girl's report.

She would stay there for about 20 days.

Despite me asking her not to go, she insisted.

She told me, "It's my last exam, Dad.”

"I'll write it and come back."

Those were the last words she said to me.

Manisha did not have many friends,

she mostly kept to herself.

She was only close to Navaneeta,

her elder sister, and no one else.

My sister was closer to me than my other sisters

We used to playfully fight, 24/7.

She used to roam around the house.

Among her elder sisters, she was closest to me

She used to come to visit me in Chilkalnagar, even after my marriage.

During her holidays, we were very close.

The most unimaginable thing happened.

We were all left in the most helpless state.

She was the youngest among our sisters

We wanted the best for her,

but then this tragedy struck.

Losing a sister.. I always knew that no matter what,

I had a home and a sister to lean on.

And if not anyone, I had an assurance.

Now we don’t have that anymore.

My sister filled the void left by our mother,

that’s why we always came home for the festivals.

My dad cries now, saying, “Nobody comes home anymore.”

"If your sister were alive, you’d still come home."

Only a parent truly knows what it takes to raise a daughter.

What would he know?

If he had daughters of his own, would he know the pain.

And what it takes to raise and educate a girl.

Only a parent would know, not an outsider like him.

Only I would understand my daughters' struggles.

Had Manisha been alive, I would have told you.

But she went missing what can I say now?

If she wanted something, she would ask me,

“Daddy, get me this or that."

“I want some books,” or anything else.

I would have done something,

to get her what she asked for.

But she’s gone.

What else can I say?

Usually, the people of the village,

they react a certain way when the police arrive.

Even the first victim, when she went missing,

when they learned about the case,

they blamed us for police inaction.

Naturally, the police have pressure on them,

till they find a dead body.

Even when the second body was found,

there was anger among the public.

It was a state of panic.

The well was infamously renamed the "Well of corpses."

When we investigate a case, generally,

we have different sources of information.

One of which is public interaction.

In one such common interaction,

in Bhuvanagiri Hospital, we found a clue.

After crosschecking information from the clue,

we got to know that, one, he was involved in a similar case.

Secondly, we knew that he was absconding.

Thirdly, his phone was switched off.

Finally, we found out, he was the owner of that well.

The dots were finally connecting.

and all roads led to Marri Srinivas Reddy.

The villagers told me “He was with us all morning.”

“He was with us for couple of hours.”

“He was there with us at the well, too.”

“Searching with us and suggesting what to do.”

“He suggested using ropes to get down the well , and was with us all morning.”

“He also got down with us to search in the well, he gave us advice”

All of his suggestions were also informed to the police.

Everyone has their own peculiar behaviour.

We can’t doubt them for that.

We could have let it slide, even if he was a thief.

We did not know he who would murder a girl.

After learning about him, we didn't know how many more people he had killed.

We thought, "Is this the person we befriended?"

In this quiet, and peaceful village of Hajipur.

No one imagined that such a criminal,

came from our own village.

We thought someone under the influence of drugs,

must have assaulted the girl.

We always thought it was someone from the outside.

We never thought it would be someone from our village.

Photos of him were being circulated on WhatsApp,

Saying it was him, people were sharing on groups.

Asking his whereabouts, and confirming.

After learning he was one of our own,

many were mentally disturbed.

That day, the whole village came to burn his house down.

We broke the locks of his door, and entered.

We searched his room,

found 10 to 15 pen drives, and many PAN cards.

We found Viagra, and fake ID cards, and other items.

Many items, we didn’t know, were found.

We had no idea about fake AADHAR cards and his cunning schemes.

We then knew that he was this predator.

There was a police picket present.

Despite the barricades, people went inside and set the house on fire.

Srinivas Reddy must be killed,

We will tell the same thing to the Judge.

The way he ended my child’s life, his life also should end

We want that.

We want our justice.

How will you bring it to us?

Nothing has been done in the past five years.

We have been fighting for justice.

News Reporter:
“This one is from Hyderabad,”

“Instant justice formula has been shut down by the courts.”

“This regarding the Hyderabad fake encounter case,”

“the panel which was set up by the court, to look into the entire encounter.”

“Where four rape and murder accused were killed in an alleged police encounter,”

“and, now the Supreme Court panel said, 10 cops must be tried for murder.”

“There were 10 policemen, who the Supreme Court commission thinks,

“prima facie, must face trial.”

“Because of the overwhelming evidence which was recovered.”

It was first Nisha Alam, Maqsood and their family who came to Warangal.

Rafeeqa, who was Nisha Alam’s cousin.

Later she came to Warangal looking for a job, from Bihar.

Rafeeqa and her three children arrive, leaving her husband behind.

Our aunt, Nisha Alam

She called us, so we travelled to Hyderabad, from Bihar.

She used to manage jobs in Warangal,

people used to come to her, asking for a job.

One day, Sanjay Kumar came looking for work..

After getting a job, he would eat at different places,

Nisha suggested “Why eat out everyday?”

“Eat at Rafeeqa’s place.”

“You can stay there as a paying guest.”

“and pay her for the food and stay.”

So Nisha aunty spoke to my mom,

to let Sanjay stay at her house

just for a couple of days.

She said they would soon shift him,

to another place closer to work.

Week turned to a month, month turned to two, three months.

Sanjay Kumar started getting comfortable at our house.

Staying and eating at Rafeeqa’s house,

he developed an illegal intimacy with her.

While having an affair with her,

slowly he started eyeing,

Rafeeqa’s daughter.

Sanjay used to behave like he is our father.

He used to listen to what we had to say

My mom used to trust him, more than us.

So one day, Sanjay hit me.

He slapped me.

This escalated into a fight between my mom and him.

She said “What right do you have to hit my children?”

Following that, she enrolled me into a hostel, nearby.

She submitted proofs for my admission.

She specifically instructed,

that nobody else should be allowed to take me.

Under any circumstance,

the child should not be allowed outside.

And only if she came, would I be allowed to go out.

Lockdown happened in 2020,

and I was in the hostel.

It had been 2 months, since my mom last visited.

It was the first time, she was away for 2 months.

There was no call or message from her.

There was no news of her, whatsoever.

I used to convince myself that,

she was just busy with some work.

I thought she did not have the time, but she would come eventually.

One day, I was called to the office.

They said someone was here to meet me.

I thought, my mother came to see me.

But when I went, there was nobody in the room.

Sanjay Kumar was sitting there.

I asked, what was he doing here.

He said that my mother had sent him,

and that she was in Kolkata.

I asked him to call my mother.

He said, that he had her phone with him.

He said, "Let’s go home."

I said I won’t go anywhere,

until my mother comes.

He said, "Your mother’s leg is fractured,."

"and she’s in poor health. Let’s go."

I was scared and asked, "Is it true?"

He said he was just joking.

Then he said, “I have killed your mother"

He said it in such a joking, casual manner.

He said it in such a teasing way,

that I couldn’t believe it to be true.

Then he said that if I did not come home,

he would kill my two brothers.

Since my mom trusts him so much, I thought he was joking.

But he said it in a very threatening way, with a look in his eyes.

A deeprooted fear took hold in my heart.

“What if he actually did, what he said.”

I did not think any further,

I just thought of my brothers’ future.

So, I ran from the hostel.

It was 2:00 A.M in the night.

I saw Sanjay, sleeping on the bed.

My brothers were sleeping in another room.

I first checked on both of my brothers,

whether they were safe.

I was sleepy, so I slept in between my brothers.

We were there for 2 days,

after which we got calls from my aunt, Nisha.

She kept asking Sanjay about Rafeeqa,

as she did not receive any call from 'Choti’.

She used to call my mom ‘Choti’.

He would make up all sorts of excuses.

Every day, he would say she was coming.

One day she told him “Bring Choti and come home,”

“It's Shabaz's birthday."

“Today is a special day, so get her”

“and do not make any excuses.”

So Sanjay Kumar that night, around 8:30 P.M

went there, locking us in a room.

He returned around 3:00 A.M.

He brought back whatever he found expensive,

and nice in their house, their phones, watches,

the masalas and other items.

In the morning, he told us,

if the police or anyone,

even if his friends come asking about him,

or his whereabouts last night,

I was told not to reveal any information.

I said I would not help him, and that..

he was lying and not going to let me meet my mother.

I said, “You keep telling this story everyday.”

So he hit me.

And forcefully tortured me,

and told me that I had to repeat whatever he said.

He left in the morning, locking us.

At around 1:30 P.M.

We heard a sound, but we did not go out.

Someone kept knocking on the door. We were very scared.

When they finally entered, they saw us.

It was the police.

They asked “What are you doing there?”

“Do you know Sanjay Kumar?”

I thought it was the right moment,

and told them the truth.

The DCP ma’am told us not to be afraid,

and that they were here to help.

She said, Sanjay Kumar is arrested and is in the jeep.

I did not believe her, so she showed us.

They never brought Sanjay in front of me after that day.

That was the last time I saw him,

when they took him from my house.

That was the last I saw of him.

They dropped us off at a hostel.

Told us to stay there for a few days.

Even I was relieved, thinking its only a few days,

and soon we’ll be back with our mother.

Whenever they visited, I used to ask if my mom had come.

The inspector told us, they were searching for her.

Then, one day

He showed me a few pictures on his phone.

He said “Have a look, try to recognize them.”

I could not recognize, but it was a dead body.

It was found next to the railway tracks.

I saw those pictures, then it occurred to me,

the burqa resembles my mother's.

I could not believe it.

I told myself, this could not have happened.

When they asked me to look closely,

that’s when I realised it was indeed my mother.

When I asked them, how did this even happen?

They explained, it was Sanjay Kumar who had killed her.

I said that was not possible,

and that my mom trusted Sanjay Kumar.

and that they were close friends.

So, they explained how he killed my mother.

Not just her, but how he also killed my aunt, Maqsood uncle,

Bushra, Shabaz, Saahil.

And Bushra’s son. Including other three members.

On the night of March 6th.

He takes Rafeeqa,

promising that he would marry her.

He tells her, "Let’s first go to Kolkata..”

“and take the blessings of your parents."

He asked everything about my mother.

He said "Now that we’re getting united,"

he asked about her properties and possessions.

He reassured her,

my mother trusted him more than herself.

So she believed him.

My mother had gastric troubles.

So she often carried buttermilk with her.

She always took it with her.

The train crosses Tadepalligudem,

he gives her buttermilk, laced with sleeping tablets.

He was just waiting for the last station,

waiting for people to get down,

so he could kill her.

He called my mother, wanting to talk to her in private.

The train was going really fast

He waited for the right moment,

and pushed her off the train.

He got off at the last station,

changed trains and came back home,

with my brother

When my brother asked about our mother,

Sanjay said she had left on a different train.

He was just a kid,

he believed him and returned home with Sanjay.

He probably thought, now that I have killed her.

I will marry her daughter.

I was not even aware of this.

Sir, told me.

I think of my mother and miss her all the time.

Even when someone scolds me.

Or if I see a mother with her child.

My mother was like a friend to me.

She used to share everything with me.

She encouraged me to share and talk to her,

to talk wholeheartedly.

and tell her whatever troubles I had.

But I was a child then,

I did not share much with her.

Mostly because, I never had any secret to hide.

Now, as an adult, when I want to share with her,

I don’t have a mother anymore.

As long as my mother was alive,

all my desires were always cared for.

When she departed, I had no other desires left.

I just want to stand on my own feet,

and take care of my brothers.

This would mean the world to me.

Apart from this, I have no other desire.

I know that my one true wish, won’t come true.

So why should I look ahead?,

hope for something to happen?

I don’t think of all this.

I just want to help my brothers get an education.

Help them get on their feet,

and try and get my life together.

Nothing else.