All language subtitles for Black Ops s02e01.eng

This programme contains
very strong language

RADIO BEEPS

Eyes on.

We're in position.

We have eyes on the target.

OK, we have him on camera three.

Indigo, can you confirm, suspect is
headed towards the north wing?

Affirmative. Suspect in sight.
Repeat, suspect in sight.

Move towards target.

Everyone, standby to engage
on my cue.

Five, four, three...

Hi, guys! It's pizza time!

- Eat-a de pizza!
- We've lost sight of the target.

Kay, don't do that,
Maria's half-Italian.

- IN ITALIAN ACCENT:
- Ah, forget about it.

Dominique, what are you doing?

I've just got one
Nduja Really Wanna Hurt Me?

- Oh, yes, please.
- One You Can Call Me Halal.

- Any takers?
- Oh, nice one. - One Smells Like Green Spinach?

- Yeah, over here.
- Sue, this has a gluten-free base, OK?

- Can anyone see what...
- Are these free?

Yeah, well, I mean,
they cost me 85 quid but...

Well, not with the two-for-one.

Yeah, the point is, I've seen how
hard you've all been working

and I just thought
you deserved a treat.

- Can we focus, please?
- Is it just Ops Room getting pizzas?

Ah! Oh, ah!

I burnt my mouth on the cheese.

- Oh.
- TESTILY: Does someone have eyes on the target?!

- COMMENTATOR:
- Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

We seem to have a slight
interruption to proceedings here.

Er, such a shame. It's not
the first time we've seen it,

and I'm afraid it won't be the last.

Well, I hope you're
proud of yourselves.

That's the European Championships.

20 minutes it'll take
to clear that lot up.

- I'll have to explain
- this - to the

PHONE VIBRATES

Ringing me already.

Hello.

Yes, sir. No, no, no.

Erm, er, let me explain.

Does anyone want garlic dip?

It's herbalicious.

- RADIO PRESENTER:
- The countdown to carnival has officially begun

and this year promises
to be better than ever...

So, what does the work day have
in store for Agent Archibald?

Just...regular work stuff, Dad.

Yeah, but I'm interested.

I've never known anyone before who
works for the Food Standards Agency.

Actually, I think
I know someone who works there.

Yeah, I don't know them.

Dom, I haven't told you
her name yet.

- LAUGHING:
- It's Patricia.

She's in my Zumba class.

Yeah, it's a...it's a big place,
Julie.

Yeah, there's a lot of foods,

in case you hadn't noticed.

- And a lot of standards.
- Mm. - Mm.

Like, erm, fish, and that's just one
off the top of my head.

And chips - that's a whole other
department, so...

- Right.
- SHE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

Zumba.

My God! Don't make me
regret telling you!

Because it's treason, by the
way, you know, if you say anything.

I could have you sent to the Tower.

Dom...

What?

Your mum would be so proud of you.

Thanks.

- The straight wig, though, I just...
- Oh, my God, you ruined it.

- No, I'm... Look, I don't think
it's... - It's fine. Bye.

Dom, I just...
I don't think it's you.

- Morning.
- OK, so pizzas tanked,

so we've got to think of
something else.

I've got to get these stuffy
muppets to like me

or I'm gonna be
stuck in Archives for ever.

Well, I'm not sure that's why
you're in Archives.

It's not for lack of ability, is it?

I exposed an entire
government conspiracy.

Yeah, so you keep telling everyone.

Well, I'm not gonna hide my light
under a bushel, Kay.

That's in the Bible.
You should know that.

DETECTOR WHOOPS

Morning, Mo.

How you getting on
with Percy Jackson?

Racing through it.

- I need to search your bag.
- Why?

You searched mine yesterday.

It's supposed to be random searches.

That wouldn't be random, would it?

That would be a pattern.

SHE SIGHS

OK, so I need to find another way
to dazzle these people,

so ideas, Kay,
because I can't be both the brains

and the beauty in this outfit.

Look, it's early days. People are
still getting to know you.

It's been nine months, Kay.
They know me.

Oh, OK, well, I'm not sure
grand gestures is the answer.

- Hmm.
- I think you should try being a bit nicer to everyone.

Mo, what are you doing?
Are you trying to feel up my bag?

Do you want me to turn around,
get you two a room?

Burn some candles, some Kenny G?
What do you want?

Sorry, what were you saying?

Oh, I was just saying,

maybe you should try being a bit
nicer to everyone.

Noted.

- WHISPERS:
- Thank you.

Er, maybe you should stay
out of Fisher's way,

at least until the snooker's over.

INDISTINCT TV CHAT

Payslip.

You know, Graham,

some consider it a common courtesy
in the workplace to wear shoes...

..and socks.

Not if they want
rid of a fungal infection.

- ANGRILY:
- Oh, you motherf...

Tom?

What's up, my man?

Yeah, how do you do?

Erm, could you listen to this?
I'm sending it to you now.

- Yeah.
- And tell me what you think he's saying here.

Sure, what is it?
Like, a wire tap?

No, no, it's a music video.

Lil' Shit And The E5 Murderers.

They're a UK drill crew.

Yeah, cool. Erm...

I'm not familiar with their bars.

But, er, I had, erm, Bonkers
by Dizzee Rascal as a ringtone.

- So...
- OK. - Should be all right.

Er, do you think
he's saying cellphone,

- as in American cellphone...
- Yeah.

..or self-own, which, according to
the Urban Dictionary,

means unforced error?

How are you getting on transcribing
those lyrics, Kay?

Er, slowly. But surely.

All right. Well, we will need them
by Friday, all right?

The minister is expecting them.

Yeah. Alasdair, I've always found
myself wondering

how the lyrical content of
UK drill music

- relates to national security, but...
- HE CHUCKLES

..I am sure there are better brains
than mine on top of that.

I mean, you don't get to be
the Home Secretary

unless you're the cream of the crop,
you know what I mean?

You know?

So, Friday, OK? So...

HE SIGHS

Hi, I'm just gonna have a quick word
with her. No, it's fine.

Hi, er, Ma'am. Again, sorry about
the whole pizzas thing.

I think we can all agree,

the sentiment was lovely,
but maybe the timing...

Dominique, I'm rather busy here,
listening to a conversation in Urdu.

Right. Cool, yeah.

I mean, I could help.

You know, I used to be a regular
at the Kebabish in Upton Park.

Got pretty close
with the staff there.

They called me Kali Puut.

- Hmm.
- Dominique... - All right, OK.

Just very quickly, erm,
I just got my payslip

and it's wrong again.

- Take it up with Accounts.
- Yeah, I actually already have,

so I was wondering
if you could just tell them...

I have full confidence in you
sorting this out yourself.

Was there anything else?

Yes, actually, er...

It's just that, erm,

I've been in Archives
for six months now

and I'd just really like to get my
teeth into some casework,

and I know you were out in the field
at 27 in Berlin,

which I'd love to pick
your brain about, by the way,

but maybe Kirsty didn't tell you
about my experience on the field

- at Brightmarsh...
- Oh, she did,

and you've been very good
at reminding us.

But, you know,
I can understand

why you might feel the need to shout
that more loudly than others.

Dominique, look, you need to learn
how this place works

from the ground up...

The ground would be a promotion.
I am sub-basement.

You're where I need you to be.

This place isn't somewhere you want
to run before you can walk.

This place runs on protocol.

It's important you learn that.

Thank you, Ma'am.

They wouldn't treat me
like this in the Kebabish.

Psst!

I believe that when Lil' Shit says,

"Call me on my cellphone,"

he's playing on the fact that it
sounds like

"Call me on the self-own".

OK.

HE LAUGHS

These guys!

I honestly believe that
they're the poets of the street.

Yeah, great. Just another 18 tracks
of this stuff to decipher.

It's a shame you can't just
ask the guy.

Yeah.

DRILL MUSIC PLAYS

Kay, I need your help.

- Anything.
- I need you to talk to Debra in Accounts.

- Anything but that.
- Oh, come on, she likes you.

Yes, and she expresses it in ways
that defy scripture.

Kay, I have been underpaid again.

And I've tried talking to this wench
but she just glares at me

like I sucked her mum or something.

Please! Just do this for me!

- Ple-e-e-e-a-see!
- Stop! Stop it, stop it, stop it!

A man on the road to Jericho
was set upon by thieves...

Ugh!

I wish I'd never taught
you that parable.

Thank you.

- WHISPERS:
- Linda, he's coming over. He's coming over!

Hi, Debra.

Hey, you need to stop coming over
or HR'll think we're shagging.

SHE LAUGHS

No, no, I've literally never
been in here before.

No, but you've got your ways
of finding me.

Came up behind me
in the canteen yesterday.

Oh! What have I said?

No, we were queuing up
for cheesy chips.

- Mm...
- What can I do for you?

- Bear in mind...
- WHISPERS: - ..there's witnesses.

I wanted to ask you about a
colleague's payslip.

Dominique Archibald.

She's been underpaid for the third
month in a row.

She's already been on at us.

It'll get done when it gets done.

OK.

Hey, are you going to
after-work drinks tonight?

No, I don't drink.

Don't come on to me after
I've had two Bacardi Breezers.

I can't guarantee your safety.

Well, thank you.

Come back soon.

He is exactly my type.

Well, I tried to insert your request
in between Debra's innuendo.

- There you go.
- Mm. - Come on.

And by the way,
it's after-work drinks tonight

and I think you should go.

Eww! No, no way. No...

No, it's how you turn
colleagues into friends.

OK, I'll go if you go.

No, Dom, we've spoken about this.

I don't attend venues that mix
alcohol and unmarried women.

Plus, I have something I need to do.

Look, just go for one.
It'll be fine.

And be nice, like Ellen.

I don't have the heart to tell you.

What? What did she do?

- Hi.
- All right there?

One drink, one drink.
You can do this. Come on.

MAN: You just,
you sit there wondering,

"Where do they find these people?"
LAUGHTER

Oh, hi.

Hi, guys.
Erm, I'm just gonna go to the bar,

if anyone wants anything, or...

Yeah, I'll, erm, I'll have a
double pepperoni stuffed crust.

LAUGHTER

SHE LAUGHS FLATLY

Oh, that's really good!
Because of the whole pizza thing,

which you all ate, by the way,
you greedy f...

..buggers.

Excuse me.

Julian, don't be mean
to the diversity hire.

THEY SNIGGER

All right? What can I get for you?

Er, can I get a half a cider
and some Bacon Fries...

No, two Bacon Fries, please.

- And for you?
- Hello, mate. Can I get a pint of Guinness, please?

- Yeah, sure.
- Lovely.

Hey.

Hey.

You work for the firm, too, right?

I mean, everyone here does.

So many spooks,
they could do an exorcism.

Here you go.

Oh, it's just,
I feel like I've seen you...

Yeah, I'm gonna stop you there,
mate, OK?

Er, I don't need you to start
a conversation with me.

I'm just gonna drink this and,
er, be on my way, thanks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.

I'm just trying to avoid that lot,
to be honest.

So bloody draining.

Yep.

I'm gonna see that off, get home and
rescue what I can of the evening.

Grand Designs.

Steve.

Dom.

- Nice to meet you, Dom.
- Hey, nice to meet you.

Lil' Shit?

- Yeah.
- Of Lil' Shit And The E5 Murderers?

Bruv, what is this?

Sorry, my name's Kay.

I'm a big fan. I've been trying to
decipher some of your bars,

which are excellent, by the way,

and I'm having some trouble
with a couple of them.

Who gave you my address, bro?

Oh, sorry, yeah, no,
I should've started with...

Erm, er, I recognised your block
from, er, one of your music videos,

so I came here, I saw a young
lad on a bike,

asked him if he knew where you lived
and it turns out he's your uncle.

- Sake! Andre, man!
- So, your diss track,

Balls Pond Boys Bleeding Out...

- WOMAN:
- Neville! What are you doing with the door open with your asthma!

- Ah-ah!
- Mrs Ajibola?

- Yes?
- It's me - Kay from church.

Kay! So nice to see you!

Neville! Why did you leave Kay
standing there like that?

- Come in, come in.
- Of course, of course, no problem.

You're new, right?

- Well, nine months.
- Well, that is new when you've done 12 years.

- Yeesh!
- How you finding it?

Well, I work in a basement,

my boss blames me
for ruining the snooker,

and I haven't had a pay cheque
that wasn't short

- in the last, er, three months.
- Oh, shit.

- Mm-hm.
- I had that when I first started.

- Yeah?
- Let me guess, they told you to...

- BOTH: ..take it up with Accounts.
- Oh, my God, they're such arseholes.

They are!

So you're in the basement?

Sub-basement. Archives.

Oh, you must work with, erm...

Oh, what's his name?

Graham.

He's such a Graham, isn't he?

SHE CHUCKLES

Very much a details man.

- You mean he's a twat.
- He is a twat.

- LAUGHING:
- Yes!

- Where are you?
- Ninth floor, Technical Operations.

Technical Operations?

God, that sounds exciting.

And, like, you experience
natural light.

Yeah, it's all right, actually.

We've been doing a fair bit of work
with the IRA recently.

The IRA? That sounds lovely.

Well, I mean, I'm always looking
for good people.

Really?

Yeah, look,
stick your digits in there

and next time there's an opening,
I'll give you a shout.

Thanks.

Of course. Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Do you want another one?

- Yeah, thanks.
- Lovely. Mm!

Who's the...who's the woman
with the teeth?

- It's Michelle.
- Urgh, Michelle! Eesh!

It's, like,
just use a TePe, babe.

No-one wants to see that
you've had spinach for lunch.

How's she even doing that?
I don't get it. Ugh!

Do you want another one?

Erm...yes, I'd love to
but, no, I can't, sorry.

- Oh.
- I've got a bit of homework to do.

Erm, Stephen, is that a classified
document outside of the office?

Better not leave
it on the Tube again.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, I've really enjoyed chatting
with you tonight.

Yeah.

- Maybe see you around the office?
- Mm-hm. - Mm.

Night-night.

Night.

So, how was after-work drinks?

Yeah, it was good.

It was really good, actually.

I made a friend, Steve, works on the
ninth floor in Technical Operations.

- That's great!
- Yeah. And also, in your face, Kay.

I didn't have to be nice.

Steve likes me because, his words,
I tell it like it is.

Has anyone ever told you that your
height can be oppressive sometimes?

See ya.

I'll...I'll try to work on that.

Oh, Alasdair, hi.
I wanted a word with you

- RE - drill lyrics.
- Oh, yes, have you done them?

Better, I've taken initiative.

OK, well,
I don't like the sound of this.

Yeah, so I, erm,
I went and spoke to the guy.

- You what?!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told him I was a big fan,

had a sit down with him.
Turns out I know his grandma.

Anyway, after chatting with him,
I can confidently say

he is a nice guy. He's not a threat
to national security.

These lyrics, it's just kids
puffing their chests out.

Kay, the papers have whipped people
into a panic about these guys,

so the minister just needs to know
what they're talking about.

So you need to transcribe
the lyrics...by Friday.

Y...
S...

So this isn't about
solving a problem.

This is about newspapers
and politicians

looking like
they're doing something?

Well, now you're getting it.

Yeah.

I'll leave you to it.

Oh...

- Boiled egg?
- No, thank you, Graham.

Not, not now. Not ever.

Oh...

What's this?

INDISTINCT TV CHAT

Huh!

So are you gonna keep sitting there
acting coy,

or just admit that you got
my bloody backpay sorted?

I can neither confirm nor deny.

Just...how?
Like, how did you do it?

I've been trying for weeks.

Well, look, let's just say
someone owed me a favour.

Like, this place, it runs
on favours.

Well, I am going to pay you back
so handsomely, my friend,

you'll be pissing Guinness
till Sunday.

- Well, that's exciting. Something to
look forward to. Cheers! - Cheers.

His boiled egg smell everywhere,
and I can't...I can't do it.

Maybe once a week, but every day?
Boiled eggs?

- Relentless.
- Come on, Graham!

If you're looking for something
more meaningful to do, then...

..there is a file I need to look at.

Yeah, sure. Floor minus two.
There all day.

The thing is, Dom,

I need to look at it without anyone
knowing that I looked at it.

OK.

Why?

Because to get stuff done
around here,

sometimes you need to work
in the shadows.

I mean, you know that
better than anyone.

Well, what's the file?

Security plans
for the Notting Hill Carnival.

- Is something gonna happen there?
- Not if I can help it.

- WHISPERS:
- Shit.

Listen, I've read your file.

Not even the higher-ups could get
the Brightmarsh lot.

You know that rules aren't
always useful,

and that is useful.

But...

..if you don't wanna do this,
then I totally get it.

To be honest...if I were you,
I probably wouldn't do it.

I mean, you could make a lovely
little life for yourself here

without rocking the boat.

Ask Graham.

No.

Leave it with me. I got you.

- ON TV:
- The website Board Games Geek maintained a list of over

26,000 games,
ranked by the site's...

You, er,
not heading off, Graham?

Nah. I've got an hour to
kill before Skeptics In The Pub.

Yeah.

Yeah, OK.

Cheeky bevvy before the...the
whole gang get together?

Er, you have a good night.
See you later.

Er, Kay, can I use your computer
for a second?

I just need to print something.

- Yeah, OK.
- Thank you. - There you go.

Er, it's to do with periods.

- WHISPERS:
- Yes, yes.

- Oh, look, is that Debra
over there? - No, no, no.

PRINTER BEEPS

- Ready?
- HIGH-PITCHED: - Yeah!

- OK, let's go.
- Yeah, let's go! Let's go home.

- Hot chocolates are on you.
- All right.

Night, everyone.

Yeah, Kay, er, don't you wanna
go to the loo before we get moving?

A safety wee.

You're a life-saver.
Could you hold this for me, please?

I can. And stop calling it that.

BEEP

How long have you worked here?

Nothing. And yet I know,
the second that Tube door closes...

All right, Kay, spare me the report.

Oh, come on, then, Mr Random Check.
Let's get this over with.

Actually, you're good.

Kay.

Oh, of course.

There you go.

I-I've got a flashlight in there
if you need it.

Oh, there it is.

Er, Mo, er, I don't wanna be
unprofessional but, er,

do you, er, you wanna grab a drink
with me sometime?

What'd you mean?

Oh, come on,
you know what I mean, hmm?

I'm married.

Ah, but, er, it's not saying no,
though, is it?

Oh. Er, no.

Is it? No?

No, er, I-I mean, no, no, er...

I'm married. Erm, sorry about that.

- Here you go.
- Well, that's too bad.

All the good ones are taken,
right, Kay?

Night!

Y-Yeah, have a good evening.

What was that?

- Give me your bag.
- Why?

- Give me your bag!
- No, I don't want to.

- I said...
- No! What are you doing?! - Give it to me!

What are you...

- Dom!
- Sorry, I don't know my own strength.

Oh, my gosh!

- There.
- Dom, is that a classified document?

It's just something
Steve needs to see.

You can't take a classified...

Sh! Right?

Sometimes, to get things done
around here,

you have to work in the shadows.

That is obviously something the
Devil would put in his LinkedIn.

- Nobody even noticed.
- Kay.

Tell me you finished those lyrics.

Oh, er, yeah, nearly.

Mm-hm.

Well, I told you
I need them by tomorrow.

Yes, yes, er, I'll have them
to you by the end of tomorrow.

So by tomorrow means by tomorrow.

It's before tomorrow starts.

- Oh, yeah. It is...
- Yeah.

It's all... Sorry, the lingo,
it still throws me.

- It still throws me.
- Yeah.

Er, yeah, OK, but we have a...

- You need to stay back and work,
so... - Yeah.

Today's the day for me to go home.

- Just get started, I think, then.
- Yeah, yeah.

Steve, works on the ninth
floor in Technical Operations.

- Tom.
- Yes, brudda!

Yeah. Erm, how'd you get to
the ninth floor?

Erm, there is no ninth floor.

Right.

Right, but is that like,
"There is no ninth floor"? Mm?

No, there just is no ninth floor.

But where are
Technical Operations based?

- We're
- Technical Operations.

Oh, yeah.

HE LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

What have you been smoking, Kay?

- Er, oh...
- And can I have some?

THEY LAUGH

Erm, well, that is actually
a conversation

I've been meaning to have.

Who's your guy?
And can you hook a brother up?

Erm...

I was... I'm just, erm...

Make a phone call.

You're calling him right now?
Don't call a drug dealer here.

Hang up!

Kay, I don't want it. I don't...
It was a terrible idea.

Pick up the phone, Dom, pick up
the phone, pick up the phone.

- STEVE:
- Dom! - Hey.

- I'm just going for a whizz.
- Usual?

Oh, yeah, half, half. Thanks.

HE GROANS

Oh, Tom, Tom, where do
people go for after-work drinks?

Well, some of the younger guys
kind of formed this, like,

splinter group and there's this
really cool speakea...

Where do most people go?!

- Er, it's the Bird In Hand.
- Thank you.

TINKLING

PHONE BUZZES

SHE SIGHS

Nah, sorry.

Oh!
No, Brenda.

Brenda, let go.
Brenda, let go.

Let go, Brenda!

- SHOUTING:
- Brenda! Let go!

Yikes! Ah!

LIFT BEEPS

Kay, I am mid-pee.
You're lucky I do Kegels.

- What is it?
- WHEEZING: - There is no ninth floor.

- What?
- You said Steve worked on the ninth floor.

There is no ninth floor.

N-No, he...he sorted my payslip.

How do you know it was him?

He read my classified file,
he knew about the Brightmarsh gang.

Oh! Did he know,

or did you maybe let it slip?

I did go undercover
with the Brightmarsh gang.

In fact, I discovered a whole
government conspiracy,

you know what I mean?

- WHISPERS:
- Oh, shit!

Oh, my God.
Did you give him the file?

No, I haven't given him the file.

SHE EXHALES HEAVILY

Bastard!

OK, I'm going to...I'm gonna
go out there

and I'm gonna keep him talking.

You just get here as quickly
as you can, OK?

- OK, I'm on my way.
- OK.

HE HYPERVENTILATES, GIBBERS

SHE SCREAMS

Agent David Cornwell,
Internal Affairs.

I swear to God, I was not working
with the guy.

He...he told me he was...

Oh, believe me, we will go through
all that first thing in the morning.

Give me the file, Dom.

OK, I'm just gonna
reach into the bag.

Don't...get any funny ideas.
I know what you guys are like.

Hold on.

SHE CLEARS THROAT

All right, so, I haven't actually
washed my hands yet,

but it's fine if you just
hold it on the other side.

There.

I-I-Is there a world in which
we don't need to let Fisher know?

- She already knows.
- Shit. Great. OK.

You never take a file out.

Right. Lesson learned.

- H-How did you know that I was...
- We're MI5.

Right, yeah.

That's reassuring I suppose.

Bye!

Oh, fuck.

Oh...

Oh, God.

Oh, my God! Kay, I'm in deep shit.

There was an agent here
from MI5 Internal Affairs.

They know everything.
Fisher knows everything.

First thing tomorrow,
my arse is on the barbecue!

Oh, there he is.
There's the agent.

And there's Steve.
He's nabbing him.

Steve looks like he's going
pretty quietly.

Yeah, he's got a gun, Kay.

OK, they just fist bumped
each other.

No, he... Steve is pushing him
out of the way with his fist.

He just gave Steve the document.

Oh, fu-u-u-u-u-u-u-ck!

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