All language subtitles for Waterloo Road s03e08

Morning. Morning.

Why don't you get those tents that just
pop up these days?

I'd rather defeat the object, wouldn't
it?

Funny, I thought the trip was to
Derbyshire, not the DMZ.

The idea is to push the lads in a way
they haven't been pushed before.

They've already given up on the
classroom.

That's the only way they can achieve
away from it.

I do appreciate your enthusiasm, Eddie.
Well, you think it's misdirected. It's

just the boys you're taking with you.
Yeah, the troublemakers.

The clapped clowns, the underachievers.

At least, that's what they think they
are.

Maybe a new environment will show them
something different about themselves.

I'm going to tell them I'm not going.

Why?

Oh, for God's sake.

Are we ever going to get back to normal?

We've had a bad time. It's over with.
Let's just get on with it. I just don't

want to push her if she isn't ready.

I am ready.

Are you sure?

I don't know.

Look, can't you take a hint?

We don't need you.

And you're already late enough as it is.

So you just go.

I haven't seen a cagoule like that in
years.

It's got it for mine and Fleur's
honeymoon.

Fort William.

Still a good one, isn't it?

It's going to look after your equipment,
and it will look after you. Very wise.

Not that that lot would understand you,
but the state -owned designer here

didn't train us.

The centre's fit in there, pal.

So what?

They still won't last five minutes up a
mountain.

You know what I like about you,
Grantley?

My group will... I was going to say your
funny distribution.

Come on, everyone.

Sooner we get loaded up, sooner we can
go.

Are you ready for some fresh air?

I suppose so, yeah.

What are you, Bolton? You up for a
challenge?

You didn't tell me he was coming on this
cater.

I'm sure I did. I'm sure you didn't.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have agreed to

Really? Because the way I understand it,
Rachel didn't give you very much

choice.

I'm just saying that I wouldn't take
Bolton Smiley on a trip to the corner

never mind the great outdoors.

He might surprise you. Oh, do me a
favour. You can't turn a bad lad into a

one by sticking him in a canoe.

Yes. Hello, Mr Badgen.

It's Mason.

Hi! You forgot these.

How long do you think I'm stopping for?

A couple of days.

Yeah. And what? You weren't going to
change your knickers in all that time,

You dirty sod.

What were you going to do, Smiley?

Turn them inside out?

Or were you going to go commander?

Shut up, man.

Better check on you tomorrow morning.
Make sure you've got clean on.

Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

Perfect. Come on, some on the back and
some round the side.

Three days without changing your
grudges.

Mingi! Shut it! I'm not planning on
stopping that long, am I?

Why? Where are you going instead?

Home, innit?

You didn't seriously think I wanted to
spend half my week on Lawson's nature

rumble, did you? How are you planning on
getting back?

Same way we're getting out there.

By the time I'm done, Lawson will be
begging to drive us home.

Go away.

How are you? Go have your breakfast.

Now.

Hi, Tracy.

Ben's all ready for you.

I've got to go to school in five
minutes.

Call me when you get this message.

Good day.

Right, don't you, lad?

What are you doing here?

Birthday back, innit?

Okay.

I think you'll be taking care of
business, then.

Nah, I've got better things to do in my
time, know what I'm saying? If it was

me, I couldn't let it lie.

I'd be having words.

And more.

Can we talk?

Yeah, go ahead.

In private?

What makes you think that me and you
have any secrets left, Chloe?

Well, spit it out. I ain't got all day.

Nice.

Look, I just wanted to say I'm dead glad
that you came back to school.

I was worried that... That what?

You might not see me again.

I didn't want you screwing up
schoolwork.

I didn't think you cared.

Don't worry about me, babe.

I'll be a good little boy, yeah? Pass
all my exams just for you. Don't get

angry.

I know what I did.

It was out of order.

Is that it?

I must have needed my head examined in
marrying you.

Don't say that.

Biggest mistake of my life.

Glad it's all over.

Well, as long as you're happy.

Couldn't be happier.

Believe me.

My days of sitting at the back of the
bus are long gone.

Hey, Miss, I know where you can sit.

Right here.

I can pick up somewhere she can sit.
What?

Right on my... Shut it, Smiley.

Miss Shackleton's sitting with me.

Come on, David, move up there.

Sorry about that. I think I just made
things worse.

Couldn't get any worse.

Two nights under canvas with... Good.

Well, maybe those of us who aren't at
risk of going bush should stick

Yeah, that's the deal.

Are we ready for this?

Yeah!

That's pathetic. I said, are we ready
for this?

Yeah!

I'm not thirsty, Mum.

Yeah, you are.

Look at this.

How long do you reckon he's had that
gait?

Well, ever since the war.

Yeah, but which one?

At least my mummy didn't bring my
underpants, Smiley.

You have to be good.

Tracy's a bit late again, but don't
worry, me will be home tonight.

I have to go now, okay?

Hi, Tracy.

Can you give me a call when you get
this?

I've got to set off for school now.

Just let me know when you get home,
okay?

What's going on?

Well, I thought, as this is the first
time you've all been back at school

together, that we should clear the air.

Now, I've got a rough idea of what went
on.

The whole school has.

But I don't want to know the details.

I just want you all to try and put it
behind you.

If you don't want to have anything to do
with each other, that's fine. It's a

big school.

Just stay out of each other's way.

And if there's nothing nice to say, I
strongly suggest that you just all keep

your gobs shut.

Yeah?

Okay?

Good.

So let's shake on it.

I'm sorry, miss.

I'm more than happy to stay out of
Brett's way, but that's as far as it's

Mika, let me try and put things right.

You know how you could put things right?
Sod off to another school.

Now, that's enough. Come on, I
understand. You've all had your feelings

Is that what you really want?

Well, it's what I want, mate.

Mika?

I never want to see you again, Brett.

Fine.

I think Mika's right.

I think I have to transfer to another
school as soon as possible.

Morning. Did you read it? Sorry?

The script for the musical.

Oh, I've only just started it.

And? What do you reckon?

Well, I've not had a chance to finish it
yet. You know, marking.

But I've got three period this morning
and I was going to finish it then.

I mean, you don't have to.

Oh, no, look, I promised.

Consider it done.

Go on, thanks.

Tracy, it's Sally again.

Please call me.

Let me know you're with Ben.

Thanks.

Sally, you know the rules.

I was just turning it off and it's gone
back in my bag. All right, let's go into

the school office. You can pick it up at
the end of the day.

In you go, guys.

That was very noble.

Well, the age of chivalry isn't, guys.

Sorry, I don't... You're offered to walk
away from Waterloo Road for Mika's

sake.

Of course, you know I can't let that
happen.

Why not?

Well, because you'd leave too big a hole
if you went.

Hole? Yeah, you're an excellent pupil,
you're the star of the musical, editor

the paper, and generally one of the few
good examples in the school.

Well, that's all very flattering, but I
don't think I have a choice.

I've caused more strife in my day than
if I go.

So, thanks for the pep talk.

She won't think any better of you now.

What? Mika.

She won't see that you're falling on
your sword.

She'll just think you're running away
and leaving her to clear up your mess.

But she said... I know.

I know.

Listen, this isn't very easy for me to
say, but sometimes women say exactly the

opposite of what they actually mean.

I don't think there was any hidden
message in what Mika had to say.

But can you be sure?

Lucy Patterson?

Yes, sir?

James Archer.

Sally Frogger.

Sally? Do you hear me?

Sorry, sir.

I'm here.

You okay?

I don't feel very well.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, you know, sir.

No, I don't.

Sir.

I've got women's problems.

OK, that's enough.

I'm going to ask your mum to come and
get you.

No.

She's at work.

I can walk home.

Well, not if you're poorly.

Really poorly.

I'll be OK.

Well, if you're well enough to walk
home, you're well enough to stay in

aren't you?

Do you want to see the nurse for a
painkiller?

No, sir.

Thanks, sir.

Anthony Reid?

Is it?

Yep.

Where's the young going?

I'm stopping, checking the place out.
We're not staying in there.

That's a tent, by the way. One for you.

And you. There you are.

No, wait, sir. I don't do tents.

Hold on. There's not enough tents here
to go around.

You're sharing, lads.

Any more complaints, I'll confiscate
your tents and see how you do sleeping

the woods on your own.

I should imagine you'll feel right at
home with all the other animals.

You what?

Hey, hey, hey, all right, all right.
Help with the unpacking.

Give her a rest, eh, Grantley? I thought
this place was supposed to bring out

the best in these reprobates.

When's that going to kick in, then? When
you give it a chance.

Oh, well, can't wait to see those
troubled little caterpillars hatch into

beautiful butterflies.

Look.

Oi! Calm down!

I'm going to have him.

Yeah, right.

I mean it.

Who's going to get us while we're here?

What are we going to do?

I don't know, yeah.

But I bet some nasty things happen on
them walls.

Come on, everyone!

Sooner we get these tents up, sooner we
can get on with what we came here for.

Hey, stop messing about!

If you break them, you pay for it.

Where's the phone?

You need any help?

Yeah, psychiatric help.

I must be Magthiel the Great today.

Will you help me get it up?

The tent.

Yeah, yeah, right.

He's training, mate! He's training!

You must be the Waterloo Road Group.

I'm Griff, your cool supervisor, and
I'll be in charge of your health, safety

and general well -being while you're
here, lads.

Looks like I've got my work cut out.

I'm sorry

about earlier.

I didn't mean to be such a... A dear?

Well, yeah, you could say that.

But I didn't mean it, all right?

I just wanted to get my own back.

And I'll let you know how it feels. I
know.

Just forget it.

Look.

Maybe... Maybe me and you, we can give
it another go.

Dante, I'm sorry.

Maybe... I don't know. Maybe we'll be
better at it this time.

You know?

Learn from our mistakes.

I almost wish you could just stay angry
with me.

I can't do that, Chloe.

I never could.

I mean, come on.

Me and you, we're meant to be together.

And I'll make a new start.

I'll work really hard.

Because, Chloe...

I don't want to be a divvy all my life.
You're not a divvy.

But if you do want to change, do it for
yourself, Dante.

Not for me.

Right, gather round, everyone, and pay
attention.

Come on, lads.

OK.

Listen up, boys.

You're going to split into two teams and
compete against each other in a cross

-terrain race.

You can have your attention, please.

Thank you.

Each group will start here and here,
either side of the inlet, and hike

point one, where there'll be mountain
bikes waiting for you. You'll then

on to point two, where they'll be
collected, and you'll continue on foot

this crag until the finishing point,
which is here.

Now, just in case any of you are
thinking about taking any shortcuts,

placed in and around checkpoints, making
sure you follow your maps, OK?

Any questions?

Yeah.

What do the winners get?

Yeah. I don't think you need to worry
about that.

A sense of achievement.

OK.

the winning team will be awarded a
mystery prize.

That's part of talking about.

OK, OK.

Any other questions?

Well, if everyone's happy, these are the
teams and the captains.

Bolton, you'll be in charge of Justin
and Shahid. Yeah, that's it.

Paul, you'll be leading Damon and Dom.

Oh, man, do I have to go with Dom?

Is that too close for me?

You'll be learning about teamwork and
cooperation and maybe for some of you,

leadership.

Him? Leadership?

I knew there was a reason for me being
here.

So you see yourself as leadership
material, do you?

I can step up.

Really?

So, it was good leadership when you were
handing out vodka on the way here?

I don't want water, sir. Yeah, and I
came down with the last shower.

Well, if we're going to be drinking
anyway, I want it kept under control.

Mr Lewis.

It's all right, Mr Clarkson.

So go on, get the beers out and make
sure there's one for me.

Yeah, go on.

No, you can't be serious.

The guidelines are really clear. It's
going to be okay.

Come on, lads. We haven't got all day.

Now that is what I call cooperation.

In the bag, lads. All of it. What? Yeah,
come on.

Drop it in. Come on, put it in the bag.

And you, in here.

This way.

We don't have to search your tent.

Put it all in.

That's cold, sir. And everyone's happy.

Thought what?

I was going to let you yomp round a
mountain half -cut.

Surely not.

Right, grab a pair of boots that fit and
let's get going.

I'm impressed.

Even by my standards, that's underhand.

Well? Hit or miss?

Well, I think musicals are a bit of an
acquired taste. Come on, what do you

think?

Honestly or not honestly?

Bad.

I actually thought it was some sort of
joke.

You know, where's the real script?

And then I realised... I'm sorry.

Right.

bad dialogue and cliché characters.

Very constructive.

Look, if you want a hand with the
rewriter... Don't think so.

Pretty clear to me that you know nothing
about theatre, so...

Mika, can I have a word?

I'm sorry if you felt ambushed earlier.

I wanted to pay you the respect of
talking to you like adults.

OK?

OK.

And now I have a request.

I want you to talk Brett out of leaving.

I know, I get it.

You never want to see him again the
sooner he leaves.

Exactly. Even if that means he gets to
walk away scot -free.

He may think he's doing the right thing,
but really he is just leaving you,

Chloe, and Donny to pick up the pieces.

I don't think that's fair.

When he helped create the mess, he
should clear it up.

It's not why you want him today, though,
is it?

Like your dark pupil.

Fair point.

But I still think you should face up to
what he did.

Okay, Eddie.

We've got him ready to go.

Off you go, boy.

Come on, lad.

Okay, lads. Off you go.

Good luck.

You have warned the local farmers,
haven't you?

Sorry? About the feral beasts we've just
unleashed on the countryside.

Asked you to hang it out in the mountain
bikes, torn the vina on the second

checkpoint, and bike collection.

And where do you want me? Back at camp.
Not quite.

I'll show you.

Denise, can I ask you a favour?

You can ask him, I've got a gap.

I need to borrow your phone.

Why, where's yours?

Wilding took it off me.

Please, Denise, I really need to call
home.

Yeah, then. Is everything all right?

Yeah. I told you about Mum going away.

I thought you had everything sorted,
child -minded and that.

Yeah, and Mum's coming back tonight.

It's just that Tracy were a bit late
this morning. I just wanted to check in

with her, that's all.

I'll be quick.

message and I'll get back to you as soon
as possible.

Bye. Bye.

Hi, Tracy.

It's me.

If you are, can you pick up the phone?

Tracy, can you pick up?

Tracy?

Oh, great, you made some coffee.

Look, Matt, I didn't mean to upset you.
I do hope it's up to your exacting

standards.

You told her.

Would it have killed you to be just a
little more positive?

I'm quite capable of looking after
myself, Steph, thank you.

Well, you have to, don't you, when
you're being attacked?

I wasn't attacking him.

I was attacking the script.

So you think you could do better, do
you?

Go on, then.

OK, then.

Well, for a start, I'd get rid of all
this narrator stuff. That's what the

should be doing.

And it's got to get into the action much
earlier on.

All this set -up, it's not needed.

And the end of Act One needs a bigger
cliffhanger. Something to do with the

lovers.

I'm sorry, Matt.

I just think you make a better musician
than you do writer.

If it's any consolation, I can't sing a
note.

That's OK.

I think you're right.

The more I think about it, the more I
think maybe you should write it.

Hang on a minute.

Go on.

Put your money where your mouth is.

Are you okay?

No, I'm not.

It's his cup.

You're doing really well.

No, he isn't. He's holding us up.

I mean, look how far behind we are
already.

Maybe you're setting too fast a pace.

But you're the leader. You're supposed
to look after your team, make sure

they're doing all right.

So we've got to slow down.

We're already losing.

It's a marathon, not a sprint. There's
still a long way to go.

Exactly. Get a shift on, Don. Come on.

Come on, Don.

Are you going to get my phone
confiscated and all?

I'm just trying to remember the number.

It's ringing.

Hello, Tracy?

What?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wrong number. I'll try again.

No, you won't. I think I made a mistake.

I had to talk to her.

Not my problem.

Fine.

If anybody asked, tell them I was
feeling rough.

So I went home.

Over here, lad.

Come on, well done, lad. You're in the
lead now.

Oh, gee.

Keep it up, then.

This is a brief early day, Bolton.

Hey, boys, boys. These helmets, they're
not optional.

No way, man. They're minging. Oh, come
on, lad.

You had to have my job if I bring any of
you back with brain damage. Though I

should notice.

Listen, no helmets, no mounting bikes,
yeah? Simple as that.

Here come the others.

You can always continue on foot.

All right, man.

Next stop, drop the bikes off. Then top
of the crack, check in with Mr. Budden,

okay?

Can't wait.

All right, keep it moving.

Well, come on, then. Let go in. Come on,
then.

Sick of this?

Now, do you have any idea what it can
take?

Quite so ridiculous.

What they need is a good dose of
corporal punishment.

What? So I don't want you to leave.

Really? Yeah.

Why, do you ever still use me?

Mika! Don't want to hear it, Brad.

You too.

To be honest, I don't know.

I hope so.

It'd be great if you two were friends
again.

I don't think we're there just yet.

How about you and Dante?

Any chance?

I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

For everything.

Excuse me, where are you going?

Home. No, I don't think so. Come on, I'm
taking you back to school.

I've got a notician's appointment.

I'm going to be late.

I gave Mr Wilding my note.

He said it would be OK.

I thought you said you were going home.

What I meant was... Get in.

My mum will be worried.

What's your name?

Louise Dobbs.

OK, Louise, let's sort this out back at
school.

You bet.

Welcome to birth group now.

I've had more than a pint.

Shut up.

I'm trying not to think of country pubs
with roaring fires and proper ale.

We could all sneak out tonight once we
put the kiddie winks to bed.

What?

And leave Grant, me and Eddie
babysitting all on their own?

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

How are they doing for time? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, pretty good. They keep this up,

they're over the chance of beating the
course record.

Really? Yeah. You're doing brilliantly!

Doing brilliantly!

Well done, Fred!

Come on, lads, that's fantastic!

Come on, lads!

Hey, we did that on Bolton this morning,
eh?

Not me.

I knew it. I knew this would be the
making of him.

Yeah, well, if he keeps up that pace,
he's going to leave his teammates

isn't he?

You don't understand.

I'm going to be blind.

Come on, it's bad enough you're being
called to our school premises without

permission.

Ridiculous lying.

I'm not lying.

I have to go home. Come on, Louise.

Bridget, please, could you put this girl
in my office and keep her there?

Go on.

Thank you.

I wasn't sure at first, but now that I
think about it, I reckon I could be

pretty good at this.

Like I said, sharpen up the first act,
give it a bit of oomph.

Actually, you know, it's probably better
if I start looking scratch.

I'm dead glad.

About what?

I'm back.

Making up. He told me.

Did he now?

Well, he's got it all wrong.

I need to talk to him at all, because
Nathan made me.

She wanted me to persuade him to stay.

And Izzy?

Yeah.

Good.

I'm so glad you think so.

I wish you knew how bad I feel about all
this.

But, Clive, you're supposed to feel
guilty when you've done something that

awful.

Matt, can I have a word?

Look, I know some schools are pretty lax
about letting kids out for opticians'

appointments or whatever.

OK. But I prefer to, you know, play it
by the box. So, for future reference, I

consider a child being absent for an eye
test an unauthorised absence.

Yeah? Do you understand?

I understand what you're saying, I just
don't know why you're saying it to me.

Louise Dodds?

Yeah?

You let her leave school for an eye
test?

No, I didn't. I don't even know her.

Oh, great. Well, you're a form tutor.

No, I'm not.

This way, OK?

You've got to look out for Mr Budgen's
blue marker.

You're nearly there now. Come on.

Have you done the same through yet?
Yeah, quite a while ago.

Why didn't that surprise me? Hey, I'm
not sure they'd be able to keep that

up, though. You could still catch them.

Then there's no time for resting. Come
on, Mum.

Give us a break, I'm knackered.

You can rest at the finish line, sir.

Don't look at me, I'm not in charge.

Paul's team leader, whatever he says
goes.

Yeah, and I say get off your arse and
get moving.

Come on.

Go on, son.

But it's all uphill for me. Shut up, or
I'm going to smack you. I promise.

There, boys.

Well done.

You made it.

Where is your illustrious captain?

Smiley get himself lost, did he?

I'm on my lunch shift.

Great.

What are you doing here?

Is she OK?

No, she's not. She's a pathological
liar.

Charlotte? Don't you mean Louise?

Apparently she's got to go home to see
her little brother because her mum's in

Spain. It's true.

You be quiet.

They're going to beat the record.

Not until the third man shows.

Where's Bolton?

We don't know, sir.

What's that supposed to mean?

It was miles ahead of us. We couldn't
keep up. It's probably back here.

Grantley.

I'm here.

Has Bolton come past your checkpoint?

No. Are you sure?

Have you tried the local pub?

Thank you, Mr Budgeon.

Helpful as ever.

But it's not beyond the realms of
possibility.

Hi, Rachel.

Yeah, everything's going to plan. Well,
I've got them working in teams.

I don't suppose any of you lot have seen
Smiley, have you?

No, sir. I thought his team would have
finished by now.

Two -thirds of them, anyhow.

What do you mean?

Smiley, he's gone AWOL.

Bolton's party is a bad job. I will too.

Yeah, well, there's light. This is the
first big break we've had since we set

off. Yeah, and how'd you work that one
out, then? Well, we've been last all day

because of him.

But Bolton's gone AWOL. We've got a
chance.

And Lawson's given a prize for the
winning team.

Do we have to, knackered?

You're a pain in the arse.

Get a move on. Come on.

Tom, will you go back to Griff and see
if there are any pubs in the area?

Sabina, will you stay here in case he
turns up? And I'll go back round the

course and see if he's dawdling.

Or injured.

If he isn't by now, he will be by the
time I've finished with him.

Not gone yet, then?

Change of plan, I'm afraid.

Yeah?

Well, I reckon you should change your
plan again, mate.

And do one. If I thought for one moment
that me leaving would get you and Chloe

back on track, I'd be out that door
without a backward glance.

But it wouldn't, would it?

You all right?

What do you reckon?

I've never met either of them.

You do know Donnie was looking for you,
don't you?

Searching the streets every night.

Even after what you did to her.

Shall we go get some lunch?

No, I want to go home.

Why don't you tell me what's really
going on? I have done.

Sally. No, you just won't flame and
listen.

Fine. Then Miss Mason will just have to
find out from your mum when she gets

here. Oh, my God, how stupid are you?

She's in Spain.

Sorry, I just don't believe that she'd
leave you and your little brother alone.

She didn't want to, but she gets so
tired.

And then she got offered this freebie,
and Tracey was supposed to help.

Hang on, who's Tracey?

The childminder.

I've been trying to call her, but you
took my phone off me.

Are you hurt?

Just get me out of here.

Davina?

I've found him.

Where? Near Grantley's checkpoint.

Is he okay?

Davina?

Eddie?

Sir, I'm serious. I can't stand heights.

It's all right. Don't panic.

It's going to be okay.

Davina? Can you hear me, Eddie?

I'm going to go and get some help.

Don't leave me. I've got to.

Sir, please, man.

I'm crapping myself here.

All right.

I'm coming down to get you.

There's no answer from Sally's home
number.

And shouldn't you be with her? She's
already made one bid for freedom today.

Yeah, I know.

That's because I think her mum really is
away. I don't think she's lying.

Have you tried her mum's mobile?

It's the international ringtone.

I thought she was abroad.

So Sally's little brother really is
alone.

Yes!

Woo! Woo!

Eddie's found Bolton.

What?

Sound of crying.

Is he all right?

I don't know.

Come aside.

Grantly, jump in.

Did you do it?

What? We're the first full team back,
aren't we? There. I'll come find you.

What is he doing?

Bloody idiot.

Don't be stupid, Eddie!

Just stay put!

It's all right, Bolton.

I'm here now.

This is a message for Denise Froggett.
My name's Rachel Mason. I'm the

headmistress at your daughter's school.

Now, Sally's been telling me all about
your little holiday.

If you don't return this message in 20
minutes, I'll be calling the police.

Ben! So, where is he?

I don't know. Maybe Tracy's taken him.

Won't she leave a note or something? No.

Where is he?

I don't know. He can't have gone far,
can he?

Sally?

Sally!

Sally! Sally!

I'm going to fall.

I can't hold on. It's okay.

I'm here.

Now, we're going to take this slow.

And steady.

All right?

Who's your aunt?

What do you think I am, a puss?

Come on.

Give me your aunt.

I never knew you cared, sir.

Oh, God.

Paul! Oh!

Eddie!

It was my fault.

Oh, Sally, that's not what I'm saying.
You should never have had a life for

mum in the first place.

I couldn't get her into trouble.

She's got herself into trouble, into big
trouble.

Why? What are you going to do?

Not call the police?

I don't know.

Hello.

Oh, Miss Froggatt.

Good of you to call.

Well, I suggest you get straight to the
school.

Because that is where your children will
be.

I'm assuming you want to see them.

Thank you.

I like that. That is very clever.

You think it's OK?

Well, put it this way, it's a vast
improvement on Matt's version.

But I thought you... I know, I know, but
I just didn't have the heart to tell

him. Anyway, it turns out I didn't need
to, eh?

So you'll be going back early.

Last time I didn't come and dragging us
out here to the middle of nowhere.

Don't tell me you're disappointed not to
be staying out here.

We came first.

And we're going back disgraced and lost
for what gave us the prize we want.

Didn't realise the pattern he had from
Lothan would mean so much to you.

Right, lads, jump in.

What are you doing? I'm putting you on
notice, Bolton. You can bull all you

to your mates, but you and I both know
what happened to that cliff face.

Yeah, you got yours.

And you got terrified.

Nah, mate, that was all an act. Yeah,
right.

You're just hacked off because your
little trip to the countryside didn't

us all into good little boys.

Maybe next time you shouldn't bother.

Maybe next time I won't.

Maybe you're not worth it.

In fact, there's no maybe about it.

So then, after this beautiful love song,
right, we go back to the mum and dad.

Now, Jasmine has made the dad a sort of
right old stiff, and he says, um, he

says, oh, yeah, um, no son of mine is
going to get his rocks off with some

council estate tart.

Don't you think that's a bit... No, no,
no, no. Listen, then he says, um,

council estate girls are just like the
houses they live in.

Cheap, easily available, poorly
maintained, and no -one wants to go

I love that.

Well, I don't love that, but he would
say that, wouldn't he?

But then the mother chimes in.

She reckons he's got a nerve laying down
the law.

See, she was from the wrong side of the
tracks.

And as far as she remembers, he was more
than happy to lower his standards.

Sometimes several times a night.

I'm not sure about this. It just sounds
a bit... What, funny, entertaining?

British gay, near the knuckle. There's a
lot of important people come to see

this. Oh, give over, Matt.

Everybody loves a dirty laugh. It's just
for English humour.

Sorry, Scottish humour.

I didn't know you were like this. I
thought you were far too uptight.

Thanks. Thanks.

What are you laughing at?

What hurts me is your neck, your ego.

I'm not in the mood. I've had a bad day.

Your day's been a piece of cake compared
to mine.

Yeah? Yeah.

Shame we didn't get that drink.

Yeah.

I'll be next time, eh?

Better get back to the girls and make
sure I haven't lost one of them again.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah. See you tomorrow.

Er, listen, lad.

With all the excitement, I think you lot
got a bit overlooked.

I believe you were the winning team in
the end.

Yeah, only because Boland chucked
himself off a mountain.

Doesn't matter.

You stuck together and you finished.

Not in record -breaking time, but you
finished as a team.

I'm proud of you.

Yeah, er, sir, you said something about
a prize.

Oh, yeah.

How could I forget?

You've got the token. I told you it
wouldn't work.

Come on, man.

Mummy!

Sally,

it's all right. I'm not angry with you.

No, she's angry with you.

And I don't blame her.

Did you come looking for me?

Like Dante did?

Did you?

No.

Fair enough.

I didn't come looking for you.

Because I hoped you were dead.

And I'd like to say that I don't think
that anymore.

But sometimes I do.

Because that's how bad you made me feel,
Chloe.

Do you actually realise that this
afternoon you almost lost your son?

And if you had, it would be no -one's
fault but your own. I needed a break.

Have you any idea how pathetic that
sounds?

Tracy the childminder, she's... Oh,
Tracy the childminder, yeah. I finally

hold of her this afternoon.

Do you know why she couldn't go round to
your house this morning? She had a

hangover. Did she come with good
references?

Rachel. Hey, I haven't even started.

She's lucky you were lucky that I did
not call the police.

Rachel, I just think you're being a bit
harsh.

I don't.

I feel like calling the police myself.

Sally, no.

No.

It's not fair, Mum.

I know you've had it hard, but that's
not mine and Ben's fault.

And you shouldn't make us feel like it
is. I mean, when did we last have a

holiday? I'm sorry, babe.

Promise me you'll never do it again. OK,
I promise.

Properly. So that Miss Mason and Mr
Lawson are witnesses.

Do it, or I'll call up the week. OK.

I promise.

I will never leave you again.

Sorry about what I said.

I need to have this.

What?

Take it.

Mika, I can't. I won't give this to you.
Just take it.

But why?

Because...

I want you to know, no matter what you
did, you're still my sister.

And I still love you.

I love you too.

But I'm not the only one.

Brett... Forget about him.

I am.

Why isn't my tea on the table?

You're back.

Yeah, only just.

I have stared death in the face today.

Shut up.

Well, I think we can agree that the, um,
outing was not a resounding success.

It was a bloody shamble. You must be
over the moon.

Of course I'm not.

Yeah, I had doubts about the trip, but,
um...

I didn't want it to be a failure.

Yeah, right.

Obviously, the sight of you like that is
something I wouldn't have missed for

the world.

It's hilarious.

Good job it only hurts when I laugh.

No, I would have loved the kids to come
back transformed by the experience, but

I know that's what you wanted.

Actually, I think that's the mistake you
made.

I think you set your sights way too
high. The hit rate with lads like

was so low.

I know.

I just wanted to...

Kick some arse. Get them excited.

Well, now you're talking.

Never give up.

How about you and I put our heads
together and we'll see what we can come

with?

I promise you, by the end of the school
year, their arses will be well and dry.