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You're not good enough.

You're too stupid.

Too ugly.

You are worthless.

That's what she said to me, and I believed her.

Now, raise your hand if the voice in your head

has ever said any of these things to you.

Yeah.

Eight years ago, I was working at a Waffle House

and living inside my Toyota Corolla.

Glamorous, I know.

And that voice was with me every minute of every day.

Whenever I aimed for something better, she convinced me to give up.

Who is she?

She certainly isn't me.

I want to be better, I want to succeed.

That voice was a parasite inside my mind,

and I was a way-too-generous host.

She's holding your best self hostage

while the basic you goes through your basic life,

day after day, never reaching your true potential.

But all of that ends here.

I'm gonna show you how to shut her up once and for all,

and together, we are going to unlock

the best version of you the world has ever seen.

Are we ready?

You got another one.

What's up? What is it?

My mom's anniversary is this weekend.

I thought it was next month.

- You wanna do something? - Like what?

We could, you know, go pay our respects.

Go see your pops.

I wish I could. I owe the team a new draft.

I thought the last one was solid. Give yourself a break.

But it's not good enough.

- You're kidding me, right? - Yeah, I wish I was,

but China has a real hard-on for paperwork.

Can we cut this? It feels insensitive.

But they need my birth certificate?

Who do they think I am? A sleeper ISIS agent?

Right? This would never happen

- to a white cis man. - That's not what I meant.

Do you think Tony Robbins is getting his tour canceled

because he doesn't have the proper forms?

- It would never happen. - Wait, they could cancel the tour?

I mean, hypothetically, sure, but they won't.

Hey, maybe your folks have a copy.

Like, my mom still has all my kindergarten drawings.

My queen, don't stress about it.

Look, clearly, you've got a lot on your plate.

My office is gonna find a work-around.

Worst case, we cut a few days and we skip Asia for now.

What? No.

No cuts, no changes.

I'll find it.

We are all searching.

You feel the pull, an urge to go somewhere,

but it's not clear where.

You are fumbling around in the darkness,

looking for a light in the distance to guide you.

But you're looking in the wrong place.

The light you seek is inside of you.

You are the light, and you choose where to shine it.

[on video] Are you ready to unleash your inner power?

Her books opened our minds.

Her speeches opened our hearts.

And now, for the first time in seven years,

the queen of good habits is taking her life-changing lessons

around the world.

Don't miss your chance to see Valerie Nguyen

live in your city, and become unstoppable.

So?

So, I think it's a great start.

Okay.

Okay, lay it on me.

The music is a bit much,

pacing is choppy, and I don't love the script.

That "queen" line? It's cringe.

And this clip, it's ancient.

Can we shoot something new?

We can.

But this has to go out next week, right?

- And? - And if you obsess over every frame,

then we're not gonna get it out in time.

You know, you shouldn't talk to your boss like that.

You should fire me.

Oh, come on!

How are you still eating this crap?

'Cause I love the taste of crap.

[on recording] At first, a good habit feels like punishment.

You're depriving yourself of something, right?

"Why can't I just have one bite of cake?

Just one drag of that cigarette?"

But it's not punishment.

It's the exact opposite.

Every time we lace up those running shoes,

open that journal,

every time we act with intention and not indulgence,

we are sending a signal to our brains.

We are telling our subconscious that we matter,

that our mind and our body are worthy of attention and care.

That is why a good habit is the ultimate act of self-love.

Hey, Queen, it's Crystal.

Look, I know you're swamped but I really need that birth certificate.

We gotta lock in the sched and I have some sponsors I'd hate to lose.

So were you able to chat with the fam, see if they kept a copy?

Look, all I know is that things are only gonna get crazier...

Yeah.

It's Valerie.

This place is just like I remember.

When you were little, I have to cut very short,

because you pick cuticles so hard, make them bleed.

We call you...

I don't remember that.

Finished. You like?

Do you have those boxes from the old house?

Why?

There's just some keepsakes I want.

Back there, if you want to check.

But your--

There's a box missing.

- Do you know where it is? - Your dad took it.

"Reggie."

That sounds-- Reggie doesn't work until he's older, I don't think.

"Riley," I like. That's pretty fun.

Um... I like Ron.

For a girl, that's nice.

Or "Ronalt," with a "t."

- What about Rodrigo? - Wait. Isn't that Spanish?

Yeah, we could learn Spanish.

Don't you want, like, a beautiful Spanish man as a child?

Could play flamenco guitar for us.

Rodrigo.

Val, what's up?

Look, I know that it is taking forever

and it feels like it's not gonna happen.

It's gonna happen.

Totally.

I mean, it's not like they would cancel the tour.

I was talking about getting pregnant.

- I'm sorry. - That's okay.

- My head's all over the place and-- - Yeah.

Oh, you know, I've been meaning

- to talk to you about the-- - Oh, hon, you're doing it again.

- You gotta see someone about that, really. - Oh, no.

It's just an itch, okay?

It's just an itch.

You've had this for 11 months,

and you're calling me now?

Sorry, Doc, work's been crazy.

I've been using a corticosteroid, but it's not working.

Could you prescribe me a betamethasone?

Valerie, I need to examine you in person first.

I just need stronger medicine.

It's not that simple.

Chronic pruritus is tricky to diagnose.

It could be psoriasis, rosacea.

It could have nothing to do with your body at all.

What do you mean?

I mean, you should consider additional approaches to diagnosis.

I'm not a therapist, but given your family history,

this might have more to do with the psychological components.

Maybe it's something hereditary?

You look tired.

I hope you're not working too hard.

No rest for the wicked.

- How's Robin? - Robbie.

He's good.

We got married last year.

Oh.

Children?

Uh, not yet, but we're trying.

Hm.

It's not what you think.

Though I can't blame you for thinking it.

And I don't blame you for anything, Vy.

So, this is it.

This is your life now.

It's a strange concept, giving up everything one holds dear.

I don't expect you to understand.

You always loved your nice things.

Oh, but I do understand. That's why I'm here.

You took some "Earthly attachments" from the salon.

I came to get them back.

Lighten your cosmic load.

And I thought you came to honor your mother.

Just give me the boxes and I'll be out of your hair.

Your figurative hair.

What boxes, Vy?

- You're looking at everything I own. - I don't have time for your games, Ba.

- I need-- - You don't need anything!

All your wealth and fame, did it make you happy?

Or does it weigh you down,

as you struggle to hold onto it

and keep it from slipping through your fingers?

You keep looking at that.

What is it?

- Sanshi. - Okay.

And why is it the only thing you have hung up in here?

It's creepy.

It's a reminder.

Sanshi translate to "hungry ghost,"

or "hungry parasite."

In times of great calamity, the Sanshi can take control of a human host

and poison them with... what's the word?

The host weakens and the Sanshi grows stronger,

until one day...

Okay, Ba, you're creeping me out.

Just... give me the boxes and I...

Vy! Vy! Are you okay?

Wait, I'll get some water.

No, it's okay, I'm fine.

Of course.

"Cherokee Storage"?

Sorry, um, are you Valerie "De-jo-yen"?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God!

You're, like, my mom's hero.

She was a smoker for 30 years, she reads your book...

...And, boom, she quits cold turkey.

You, like, saved her life.

- Wow. - Oh my God,

I gotta get a picture. She's gonna die!

Cheese!

- Can you roll it down a little? - Oh, yeah, okay.

- Just one more angle, sorry. - Oh, yeah.

Hello?

Are you okay?

I won't hurt you.

- You scared me. - Is this your locker?

Uh...

- No, it was open, I just heard-- - Do you have an ID on you, ma'am?

You are the light. The light is you.

You are the light. And the light is you.

Now, take it from someone who has been there.

Life is hard.

A little pill and a life coach won't change that.

It's up to you.

Stop making excuses, start taking action.

If a situation is out of your control,

control the way you react.

Keep to the path and remember your truth.

You're an unstoppable force.

Fucker.

So, how is he?

Same as he ever was.

You know, if I knew that you were going,

I could've come, been your backup.

It was a last-minute decision.

- I-I can help you. - No, I got it.

Okay.

I'd like for our kids to know where they came from.

I think that they should meet their grandpa someday.

If he's still alive by then.

God, Val, that's fucked up.

Wh-- I'm just being realistic.

The man's been an addict for half a century.

It's a miracle he can still stand up straight.

He's still your father.

I'm aware.

And you know that what happened to your mom was an accident?

It wasn't his fault, it wasn't your fault.

You know that, right?

It's not your fault, Val.

Oh, my God.

Are you Good Will Hunting me right now?

That's a movie, babe.

In real life, there's no magical therapist to hug away the pain.

It takes years of hard work that you have to do yourself.

There's a good book on this, actually.

Your call has been forwarded to an auto--

I don't want it! I don't want to sign it!

Vy, why you order this?

Sorry about this.

Color all wrong. I don't have space for this.

You're going to love it. All the new salons have them.

My new tour starts Saturday.

I'd love to have you...

Tea getting cold.

Look, I was so young when Ma passed, I barely remember her.

I wanna know who she was.

Who knew her better than you?

She was a good woman.

Smart.

And stubborn, like you.

Was she... happy?

Happy?

Sure.

Why'd she hurt herself?

What was wrong with her?

You want to slander her memory?

She wore long sleeves to cover them up,

but sometimes she forgot.

What was it? Mental illness?

Drugs?

Look, I need to know.

Please?

After the war... something terrible took hold of her.

Curse her.

No more question.

What about my father?

Stay away from him, Vy .

Come see me live and become unstoppable.

Let me do it one more time?

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

Come see me live and become unstoppable.

Okay, cut.

I think we got it. Let's move on to stills.

Hey, Val, babe, can we lose the hat for a few shots?

Hat stays.

Turn to your left.

I've never seen her do that.

Relax, it's just stress.

It's not just stress. Did you not just see that?

- We have to delay the tour or something. - Yeah, she'd love that.

Crystal,

there's something wrong with her.

Robert, this is Val's opportunity to up-level.

She's going for it.

Are you really that intimidated by a strong woman?

Get over yourself.

Crystal, are you serious? We have to talk about this.

Are you ready to talk?

Oh, what? Don't give me a hard time. I haven't had a drink in months.

Val, I--

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Wait, we should check your, uh, your ovulation, okay?

Oh, baby.

Yeah?

Is that how you want it?

Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Ow, fuck.

Chill.

Ow, Val. Stop.

Oh, fuck! Val, what the fuck?

I said stop, that hurts.

Ow, what the fuck? Am I bleeding?

I got caught up. I'm sorry.

Yeah. You-- Can you get a towel or something?

Baby. I would never hurt you.

No, Val, that's not gonna work.

Okay, that's gonna work. Okay, fuck.

Yeah, just like that's good.

Val, what?

Val, what the fuck? Val, Val.

Oh, God.

Baby?

Look, I talked to the doctor, okay? He said it's not a big deal.

He said it's not a big deal? Come on, let me see it.

I'm just trying to help you, okay?

Okay, I don't need your help!

Look, this is not your problem. Stop trying to control the situation.

Val, I'm not trying to control anything.

You're the biggest fucking control freak in the universe.

When you speak with hyperbole, it's hard to take you seriously.

Don't talk to me like I'm one of your fucking clients, Val.

Then stop acting like a fucking child.

You're scratching a fucking hole

in your head, Val!

I'm serious.

- Okay! - Don't touch me.

How do you expect to take care of a fucking kid

if you can't take care of yourself, Val?

I'm gonna sleep on the couch, okay?

You can sleep in the fucking crime scene.

Robbie!

Val? Val, what's going on, what happened?

I'm okay. It was just a bad dream.

Val--

It's okay, I'm fine.

Open the door!

What's going on? Val, open the door.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Val, open the door now.

- Val, open the fucking door! - It was just a nightmare.

Hey, are you hungry?

I made breakfast.

I'm sorry.

Okay? I've been...

shutting you out and it's not fair.

It's just, um...

it's my head.

Of course, it is, right?

It's something...

inside my head, and I think it's, um...

always been there...

since I was a little kid, but it's--

But it's making me do things, and I can't stop.

I keep doing these things, Robbie, I--

It's...

It's not me, okay?

You know me. This isn't me.

Babe?

Robbie.

Okay.

Fuck.

What the fuck? What the fuck?

Baby.

Look, this is all just a big misunderstanding.

Look, I've always wanted kids. You know that.

Look, if you just come home, I can explain--

The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages.

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

What do you truly want?

Your basic self is trapped on the surface.

She lives only for the moment.

Basic Val, she wants a cigarette

and a bag of gummy worms.

But your true self, she dives deeper.

She lives for the future.

And how does she get there?

By doing her daily work.

Now, start small. Start slow.

Start with simple, manageable habits you can commit to every day.

And then, build on that foundation, every week, every month, every year.

Soon, you'll see improvements.

You'll feel happier, more confident.

And as you build momentum, I promise you...

...you won't ever want to stop.

Vy?

Your door was open.

Hey, Ba.

- How's the tea? - It's good.

- Where's Robin? - Robbie.

He's at work.

Ba, what are you doing here?

Uh...

Vy, I wasn't always around when you were little.

You were a strong girl, and so normal.

I was sure you didn't inherit it.

I was wrong.

You're infected, Vy, it's in your blood.

Infected. With what?

Sanshi.

Are you in withdrawal? Is that why you're here?

This isn't about me.

I'm not giving you any more money.

What was in that tea?

It's not going to stop.

- Did you drug me? - What?

You'll keep hurting yourself again, and again, and again.

You should go.

I'm serious.

You need my help.

I need you out of my house, you psycho junkie.

Be careful, Vy.

Okay.

They're drugging you.

You're not crazy.

Your family is.

What boxes, Vy?

I thought you came to honor your mother.

Okay, I know this is gonna sound insane, but, um,

my dad just came over and I think that he might have--

[on phone] Val, slow down. I can barely hear you.

Robbie? Hello?

- The connection sucks up here. - Robbie, I can't--

- Hello? - Fuck.

I found your stash.

I want answers, Ba, and if I smell a whiff of your bullshit,

I'm taking this straight to the abbot.

I'll do it. I will ruin you.

Why'd you do it?

Answer me!

I don't know what you're talking about.

Now, take a deep breath.

That's mine!

Don't fucking move.

What was it, Ba?

She find out about your habit?

Were you afraid she'd expose you?

Why'd you kill Mom?

I had to save you.

I told myself you didn't have it, but she knew the truth.

You were born with it, and it's all my fault.

I summoned it.

I passed it to your mother.

It grew inside us like a parasite,

and the more we hurt ourselves, the stronger it grew.

We tried to stop, but Sanshi is...

Patient, it withers you away, day by day,

year by year, until there's nothing left.

She wanted to save you from it .

But it's part of you.

It is you. Do you understand?

There's only one way to kill it.

She wanted to save you.

No.

- You're lying. - No.

She would never hurt me.

There was no other way.

No salvation.

No escape.

Stop!

There's no demon, Ba.

There is just you.

And you're fucking pathetic.

Robbie?

Where the hell are you?

- Hey, Crystal. - I called you like 50 times.

Val, you're on in 30 minutes.

- Shit. - Get your ass over here.

Do the best you can, we've got 10 minutes.

- Oh! The hat stays. - Oh, come on.

You are not wearing that hat in front of 2,000 people, okay?

We have some major guests here tonight, Valerie.

- Robbie. - Valerie.

Valerie, where are you going?!

Fuck off, Crystal!

Joey got a lot of the audience coming in, but I want you to...

- Robbie, baby, please, please . Hi. - ...getting B-roll the whole time.

Just give us a second, sorry.

- What, Val? - I love you.

I love you, and whatever you need me to do,

I'll do it, okay?

- Val... - Hey.

I mean it, okay?

I'll cancel the tour, I swear, just say the word.

Let me show you. Let me make this right.

Look, I'm not buying it anymore.

Okay, maybe they will.

So ...

Good luck.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome to the stage Valerie Nguyen!

Who is feeling brave tonight?

Huh? Anybody?

Uh, how about you?

Do you know who that is?

Um, me?

That is the person who's going to change your life forever.

Not me, not your husband, your shrink, or your priest.

Her.

Here's the thing, folks.

There is no golden ticket.

The cavalry isn't coming.

You are alone in an indifferent world.

No one can save you.

And no one can hold you back from your power.

Look at her.

She holds the cards.

She is the guiding force of her own destiny,

and she is the only person who will always have your back,

no matter what.

Because--

Val! Val!

- Val! - Val, wait.

- Val! - Val, you're bleeding!

Wake up.

I saw it.

And it's real, and you were right.

I'm sorry.

We can fix this. We can fix it together.

There's still time.

Ba. Ba.

She incurred damage here in the left hemisphere,

causing a loss of motor control on the right side of her body.

But we're hopeful this will improve over time.

How?

Well, when the cortex is damaged,

uh, movement can either be temporarily or permanently diminished.

No, how does somebody scratch a hole in their fucking skull?

A bacterial infection

likely softened the cranial tissue,

allowing her to penetrate the parietal bone.

We're talking months, even years of slow damage, like...

...like driving the head of a pin through a stone.

You're getting your movement back.

I'll be walking again in no time.

Yeah.

Keep those shoulders up and your focus forward.

You got it, Val.

Hey, I got you. Okay, okay.

Now, her occipital lobe is fine,

but damage to the frontal lobe

may result in hallucinations or delusions.

Now, Val, have you been seeing or hearing anything unusual?

Val.

No.

Nothing unusual.

- I-I don't see-- - Oh.

Sorry about that.

So, I wanted to go over...

Is this too tight, or...?

No.

Hey, this would be kinda kinky if it wasn't so fucked up.

Goodnight.

Oh, come on. Val, what the fuck?

Are you hiding a knife or something? What's--

No, no, it wasn't me.

Who was it?

Who was it?

Um,

Robbie, you have to listen to me, okay?

Look, my dad came over, and I think he gave me something,

and, um, now I think there's something inside of me.

- Okay, Val-- - And I can't stop.

- Come on. - I can't.

Where is it?

Robbie? Robbie, listen to me, okay? I was--

- What the fuck? - No.

I didn't-- that wasn't me, okay? You have to believe me.

I'm not lying to you, Robbie, okay? It's something inside of me.

- Please, you have-- - You're a liar.

Robbie, you have to believe me.

Robbie!

[on video] Your state of mind determines your reality.

If you think you're gonna fail, guess what?

You're gonna fail.

Change your attitude, commit to success, believe.

No one knows what you're capable of except you.

No one else can see inside your mind.

And thank God for that, right?

Because if they ever saw who you really are,

they would be disgusted.

He's on to you, Val, and when he tells them,

they're gonna lock you in the loony bin.

That's not really addressing the issue, doctor. I--

She's recovering, sure.

She's getting back on her feet soon I'm sure. It's--

What does it matter if her body recovers and her mind doesn't?

Okay, it's-- hold on one second.

She's not the same! There's something else--

Good evening, my love.

Come on, have a seat.

It's bun bo hué, my grandma's recipe.

I made it for our third date, remember?

Yeah.

Go ahead. I already ate.

Oh, my God.

- It's good, right? - It's so good.

Keep eating.

Hey.

I'm really sorry about everything.

Shit. Yeah.

Me too. That...

really, really made me angry.

I don't like being angry, and...

- But... - When I said I wanted kids, I meant it.

Okay, but something wouldn't let me do it.

Robbie, there's something inside of me and I have to get it out.

That's fucked up.

Hey.

It's okay, it's okay.

Just give me a few days to figure this out,

and everything can go back to normal, okay?

Baby, baby, hey, hey.

I know this sucks.

But I'm gonna make you really comfortable, okay?

- See? - [on audiobook] Chapter five,

the power of choice.

I love you.

The path will test you, but sooner or later,

you're faced with a challenge so difficult,

it feels damn near impossible.

You'll feel helpless and trapped, but not alone.

Great men and women have stood right there

in that same spot, but did they give in to their fear?

No.

They chose belief-- belief in themselves,

in their path, in something far greater

than that one single difficult moment.

So... what do you believe in?

Look, I don't know what you're after, but if you tell me, maybe I can help you.

I mean, you kinda need me, right?

Can't we find some arrangement that doesn't involve both of us dying?

Come on. I know you're there.

What do you want?

What do you want?

Answer me!

Will you stop that?

I can't.

"I can't. I can't."

You are so pathetic, it makes me want to puke.

No wonder no one loves you.

I can't stop.

Then you know what you have to do.

Like this. See?

It's quick. It's easy.

Don't worry.

No one...

will miss you.

Val?

Val, what are you doing?

Val!

- Val, what are you doing?! - It's gonna be okay!

Val!

Val, what are you doing? Stop!

Fuck!

No!

Come on!

911, what is your emergency?

911. Hello?

Please respond. Are you able to respond?

We can dispatch someone to your location.

911. Hello?

Okay.

No!

That voice was with me, every minute of every day.

Whenever I aimed for something better, she would convince me to give up.

But who is she?

She certainly isn't me.

That voice was a parasite inside my mind.

And I was a way-too-generous host.

But even now, years after I trained myself to silence her,

her words still echo in my head.

Does that mean she was right all along?

Am I still alone?

Am I still... unlovable?

Can anyone save me?

I got you.

I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you.

What is that? What is it?

What is that?

It's me.

Fuck. You scared me.

I'm sorry.

I, um,

I had a whole speech planned, but...

Um...

I'm sorry, could you help me with this?

Like, it'd be insane for you to stay, but ...

I'm asking you anyway.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't think I've ever known what I'm doing. I--

Baby...

I know I wanna do this with you.

Yeah.

That's our choice.