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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,348 On my way down to coordinate search and rescue. 2 00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,475 On my way down to coordinate search and rescue. 3 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:19,520 I mean, honestly, how do you keep your food down? 4 00:00:19,604 --> 00:00:20,688 Shut up. 5 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:25,234 - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey, hey. Buddy! 6 00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:27,820 What do you think? Maximum occupancy has been reached. 7 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,655 Take the stairs. 8 00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:31,657 Yeah. Stop, stop. 9 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,706 Hand over the case, Stark. 10 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,625 - Hand it over. 11 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,615 Stark? Stark? 12 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,380 Breathe, breathe. 13 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,639 Good job. Meet me in the alley. I'm gonna grab a quick slice. 14 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:01,020 No stairs! 15 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,822 Where's Loki? 16 00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:14,784 Loki! Loki! 17 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:04,894 I am Loki of Asgard. 18 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,856 And I am burdened with glorious purpose. 19 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,028 I... 20 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,286 Never mind. 21 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,288 Don't touch that. 22 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,713 Appears to be a standard sequence violation. 23 00:03:33,506 --> 00:03:36,050 Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. 24 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,094 Variant identified. 25 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:40,388 I beg your pardon. 26 00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:43,057 On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, 27 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,310 I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline. 28 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,187 Hands up. 29 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,147 - You're coming with us. 30 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,441 I'm sorry. Who's "us"? 31 00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:55,986 Last chance, Variant. 32 00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,826 It's been a very long day, 33 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,830 and I think I've had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do, 34 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:09,500 so, if you don't mind, this is actually your last chance. 35 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,962 Now get out of my way. 36 00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:27,435 You are now moving at 1/16th speed, 37 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,729 but feeling all that pain in real time. 38 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,160 Reset the timeline. 39 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,612 What species? Variant Skrull. 40 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,697 What is this place? 41 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,325 My dad is on the board of Goldman Sachs. 42 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,619 One call and your whole job is privatized. 43 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:28,787 All right. How'd you like that? 44 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,247 Hello, sir. 45 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,618 Come on. - You're making a terrible mistake. 46 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,275 You're making a big mistake. Whoa! 47 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,584 - Hello, ma'am, uh... Log this as evidence. 48 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:48,516 Oh... 49 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,809 Can you at least tell me what it is? 50 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:53,562 It's the Tesseract. Be very careful with it. 51 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,314 It sounds dumb. 52 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:58,567 Know this. 53 00:05:58,651 --> 00:06:01,362 You cross me, there are deadly consequences. 54 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:02,821 We'll see. 55 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,044 Hey, hey! 56 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,303 Absolutely not. 57 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,973 This is fine Asgardian leather. 58 00:06:32,268 --> 00:06:34,353 Hold very still. 59 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,360 Now, hang on just a minute. 60 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,998 Please sign to verify this is everything you've ever said. 61 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,082 What? 62 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:00,713 Sign this, too. 63 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,133 Oh, this is absurd. 64 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:09,888 And this. 65 00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:39,918 Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, 66 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,462 were born an organic creature, 67 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:44,340 and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul. 68 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,842 What? "To my knowledge"? 69 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,887 Do a lot of people not know if they're robots? 70 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,056 Thank you for confirming. Move through. 71 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,650 What if I was a robot and I didn't know it? 72 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,110 The machine would melt you from the inside out. 73 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,278 Please move along, sir. 74 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:13,035 Okay, I'm not a robot, so I'll be fine. 75 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:19,750 What? 76 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,964 Oh, what's that? - Your temporal aura. 77 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,509 - What's that? - Please, through the door. 78 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,764 Take a ticket. 79 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,975 What is this, a deli? No. 80 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,400 Take a ticket. 81 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,736 There's only two of us in here. 82 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,364 Take a ticket. 83 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,595 This is a mistake! I shouldn't be here! 84 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,015 Hey there! You're probably saying, 85 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,810 "This is a mistake. I shouldn't even be here.โ€ 86 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:26,275 Welcome to the Time Variance Authority. 87 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,818 I'm Miss Minutes, 88 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:33,115 and it's my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes. 89 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,076 So let's not waste another minute. 90 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,122 Settle in, sharpen your pencils, and check this out. 91 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,628 Long ago, there was a vast multiversal war. 92 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:50,424 Countless unique timelines battled each other for supremacy, 93 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,801 nearly resulting in the total destruction of... 94 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:55,512 - well, everything. 95 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:58,807 But then, the all-knowing Time-Keepers emerged, 96 00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:03,729 bringing peace by reorganizing the multiverse into a single timeline, 97 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,231 the Sacred Timeline. 98 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:11,695 Now, the Time-Keepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time 99 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,072 for everyone and everything. 100 00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:19,536 But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time-Keepers created. 101 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,955 We call those Variants. 102 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:27,169 Maybe you started an uprising, or were Just late for work. 103 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:31,340 Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, 104 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,843 which, left unchecked, could branch off info madness, 105 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,930 - leading to another multiversal war. 106 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,933 But, don't worry, 107 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,726 to make sure that doesn't happen, 108 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:47,648 the Time-Keepers created the TVA and all its incredible workers. 109 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,569 The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake 110 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,572 and set time back on its predetermined path. 111 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,577 Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline, 112 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,288 you must stand trial for your offenses. 113 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:07,167 So sit tight, and we'll get you in front of a judge in no time. 114 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:09,294 Just make sure you have your ticket, 115 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,631 and you'll be seen by the next available attendant. 116 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,803 - For all time. Always. 117 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,853 Time-Keepers? The Sacred Timeline? 118 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,396 Who actually believes this bunkum? 119 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,999 Ticket, sir? - He didn't give me a ticket. I asked. 120 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,568 - Ticket, sir! - I tried to ask that guy for a ticket! 121 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,694 Sir... 122 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,114 What, you're raising your voice at me, bucket head? 123 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,709 Thanks for visiting the TVA. 124 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,211 Don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing. 125 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,870 The hunter and his Minutemen responded to a routine nexus event. 126 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,123 It appears that when they arrived, somebody got the jump on 'em. 127 00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,499 You think? 128 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,627 It's him. 129 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,924 Yeah, stab wounds look consistent with the others. 130 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:42,220 Positioning of the bodies indicates they didn't know what the hell hit 'em. 131 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:47,601 And reset charge is gone. 132 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,604 That's the sixth attack in the last week. 133 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,398 That we know of. 134 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,611 - Hey! - Wait, stand down! Stand down. 135 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:00,781 It's just a kid. 136 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,233 Hey, yo! 137 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,360 Tap it. 138 00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,963 Don't worry, that devil's afraid of us. 139 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,840 We're gonna take care of him. 140 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:03,260 And we're gonna put you back where you belong. 141 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,695 Devil bearing gifts. 142 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,950 Go ahead and run this for sequence period and any hints of temporal aura. 143 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,578 You know we won't get anything. 144 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,538 Yeah, just give it a shot. 145 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,835 The branch is nearing red line. We need to go. 146 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,253 Okay. 147 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:45,969 It's okay. 148 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,852 Set a reset charge. 149 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,565 Sir, there's something you'll wanna see. 150 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,573 Next case, please. 151 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:17,375 Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, 152 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:21,463 is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. 153 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,675 How do you plead? 154 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,930 Madam, a god doesn't plead. 155 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,392 This has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I'd like to go home now. 156 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,687 Are you guilty or not guilty, sir? 157 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:41,399 Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. 158 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,569 Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. 159 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:49,032 Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? 160 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,451 Absolutely not, you have the wrong person. 161 00:15:51,535 --> 00:15:53,620 Oh, really? And who should we have? 162 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,789 I suspect, the Avengers. 163 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:59,584 I came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, 164 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:04,172 no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King. 165 00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,299 That's quite an accusation. 166 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,594 Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks. 167 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:13,348 You speak of Time Criminals? It's they you should be after. 168 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:17,727 Perhaps you could provide me with a task force and resources, 169 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,397 and I could return and eliminate them for you. 170 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,315 We're not here to talk about the Avengers. 171 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:23,400 -Oh, no? 172 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:27,612 What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not. 173 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,660 Right. Uh... 174 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:37,038 "Not supposed to happen"? According to whom? 175 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,332 The Time-Keepers? 176 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,334 Oh, the Time-Keepers. Right. 177 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:47,090 Well, perhaps I should speak to these Time-Keepers, gods to gods. 178 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,135 I'm sorry, but they're quite busy. 179 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,095 Oh, they are? What are they doing? 180 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,055 Dictating the proper flow of time. 181 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,808 I see. Right. And then what do you do? 182 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,228 Dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictations. 183 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,479 How do you plead? 184 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,441 Guilty... 185 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,362 of this. 186 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,665 - What's going on? Hang on. Everyone quiet. 187 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,795 - He's trying to use his powers, ma'am. - Don't rush me. 188 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,547 Damn it! Why won't it work? 189 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:32,177 Magic powers? They're no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson. 190 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,931 The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset. 191 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,515 Next case, please! 192 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:41,561 "Reset"? What does that mean? What, is it bad? What does it mean? 193 00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:46,149 Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends! 194 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,611 It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was. 195 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,614 You have no idea what I'm capable of! 196 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,282 I... I think I might. 197 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,411 Have an idea of what he's capable of. 198 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,206 Approach the bench. 199 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,254 Hi. 200 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,549 If you're thinking what I think you are, it's a bad idea. 201 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,843 Okay, I'm just chasing a hunch. 202 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,431 Anything goes sideways, it's on you. 203 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,434 Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. 204 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,812 I like it. It's appropriate. 205 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,447 And who are you? 206 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,204 I'm gonna burn this place to the ground. 207 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,165 I'll show you where my desk is, you can start there. 208 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,423 Have a look. 209 00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,431 Home sweet home. 210 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,852 I thought there was no magic here. 211 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:04,978 There isn't. 212 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,209 That's not real. 213 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,422 It is, and, unfortunately, so is all the paperwork. 214 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,466 Good tinder for your fire, though. Come on. 215 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:36,885 This place is a nightmare. 216 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,219 That's another department. 217 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,472 Now that department I'll help you burn down. 218 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,189 I'm Agent Mobius, by the way. 219 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,402 Are you taking me somewhere to kill me? 220 00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:57,822 No. That's where you just were. I'm taking you some place to talk. 221 00:19:58,656 --> 00:19:59,741 I don't like to talk. 222 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,285 But you do like to lie, which you just did. 223 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,830 Because we both know you love to talk. 224 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,374 Talkie-talkie. 225 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,543 How long have you been here? 226 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:14,881 I don't know. It's hard to say, time passes differently here in the TVA. 227 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,967 - What does that mean? - You'll catch up. 228 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:23,473 So, you're part of the TVA's courageous and dedicated workforce? 229 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,599 Yes. 230 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,976 - You were created by the Time-Keepers. - Yep. 231 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:30,063 - To protect the Sacred Timeline. - Correct. 232 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:33,566 Is that funny? 233 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,946 The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people 234 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:41,449 across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, 235 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,659 yes, it's funny. 236 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:44,202 It's absurd. 237 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,121 I thought you didn't like to talk. 238 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,333 After you. 239 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:07,058 For the record, this really does feel like a killing-me kind of a room. 240 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,018 Not big on trust, are you? 241 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,063 Trust is for children and dogs. 242 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,357 There's only one person you can trust. 243 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,401 Yourself? I like it. 244 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,069 Slap it on a T-shirt. 245 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:22,449 If the TVA truly oversees all of time, 246 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,868 how have I never heard of you until now? 247 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,536 "Cause you've never needed to. 248 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,788 You've always lived within your set path. 249 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:31,249 I live within whatever path I choose. 250 00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:34,169 Sure you do. Okay, come have a seat. 251 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,135 I told you, time moves differently in the TVA. 252 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,012 Come on, sit down. 253 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,474 Let's get into this. 254 00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:55,899 Go on, have a seat. 255 00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,408 If looks could kill. 256 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,785 What do you want from me? 257 00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,330 Well, let's start with a little cooperation. 258 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:11,998 Not my forte. 259 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,333 Really? 260 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,461 Even when you're wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? 261 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,545 Come on. 262 00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,714 You don't know anything about me. 263 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,508 Maybe I'd like to learn. 264 00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:25,094 I specialize in the pursuit of dangerous Variants. 265 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:26,763 Like myself? 266 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,139 Mmm... 267 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,350 No, particularly dangerous Variants. 268 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:33,019 You're just a little pussycat. 269 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:35,605 I got a set of questions for you. 270 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,065 You answer them honestly, 271 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:40,026 and then maybe I can give you something you want. 272 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:42,028 You wanna get out of here, right? 273 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,155 Yeah, so we'll start there. 274 00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,324 Should you return, what are you gonna do? 275 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:51,329 - Finish what I started. - Which is? 276 00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,164 Claim my throne. 277 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:54,832 You wanna be king? 278 00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,918 I don't want to be, I was born to be. 279 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,587 I know, but king of what exactly? 280 00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:03,424 You wouldn't understand. 281 00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:04,509 Try me. 282 00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:08,805 Midgard. 283 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,640 AKA Earth. 284 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,561 All right. Now you're the king of Midgard, then what? 285 00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:15,812 Happily ever after? 286 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,066 Asgard, the Nine Realms. 287 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:22,610 - Space? - Space? 288 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:26,489 Space is big. That'd be a nice feather in your cap. 289 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,032 "Loki, the King of Space.โ€ 290 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,286 Mock me if you dare. 291 00:23:31,369 --> 00:23:33,121 No, I'm not. 292 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:36,541 Honestly, I'm actually a fan. Yeah. 293 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:42,589 I guess I'm wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule? 294 00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,845 I would've made it easy for them. 295 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,346 People like easy. 296 00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,559 The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered 297 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,020 was the song of freedom. 298 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,730 How's that one go? 299 00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:01,357 For nearly every living thing, 300 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:06,946 choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. 301 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,700 There's a fork in every road, 302 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,453 yet the wrong path always taken. 303 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,580 Good. Yeah. 304 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,290 You said "nearly every living thing," 305 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:20,209 so I'm guessing you don't fall into that category? 306 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,424 The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus, 307 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:30,553 and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection. 308 00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,515 Big metaphor guy. I love it. 309 00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:36,392 Makes you sound super smart. 310 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:37,602 I am smart. 311 00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:39,354 I know. 312 00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:40,563 Okay. 313 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:43,775 Okay. 314 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,004 What is this? 315 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:08,341 A sampling of your greatest hits, if I may. 316 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:17,809 If it's all the same fo you... 317 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,271 I'll have that drink now. 318 00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:25,566 No. 319 00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,653 And I remember. I was there. Anything else? 320 00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:33,908 It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. 321 00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:36,744 You might even say it's in your nature. 322 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:40,665 You know, things didn't turn out so well for the last person who said that to me. 323 00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:42,208 Oh, yeah, Phil Coulson. 324 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:45,795 No!/ 325 00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:50,717 Didn't the Avengers come together to literally avenge him by defeating you? 326 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,677 Little solace to a dead man. 327 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,303 Do you enjoy hurting people? 328 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:58,057 Making them feel small? 329 00:25:58,683 --> 00:25:59,892 Making them feel afraid? 330 00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:02,562 - Your games don't frighten me. - Making them feel little? 331 00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:03,813 I know what I am. 332 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,648 - A murderer? - A liberator. 333 00:26:06,399 --> 00:26:07,817 Of eyeballs, maybe. 334 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:13,740 Look at that smile. You are enjoying that. 335 00:26:13,823 --> 00:26:15,324 Did you enjoy hurting them? 336 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:17,618 I don't have to play this game. I'm a god. 337 00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:19,912 Of what, again? Mischief, right? 338 00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:23,416 Yeah. I don't see anything very mischievous about this. 339 00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:28,296 No, I don't suppose you do. 340 00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:32,049 Let's talk about your escapes. 341 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:36,429 You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away. 342 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,140 What can I say? I'm a mischievous scamp. 343 00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:41,642 This is one of my favorites. 344 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,355 From the flight deck, Captain William A. Scott, 345 00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:49,817 Northwest Orient Airlines 305, on schedule to land in Seattle. 346 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:51,652 Flight time today, approximately... 347 00:26:51,736 --> 00:26:52,904 Bourbon and soda? 348 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:54,989 Thank you. 349 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:56,699 Absolutely. 350 00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:58,659 Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? 351 00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:01,412 I suppose we'll find out, won't we? 352 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:10,171 - Uh, Miss? - Yes, Mr. Cooper? 353 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,507 You might want to take a look at that note. 354 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,177 I have a bomb. 355 00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:34,904 I fail to see how this has any relevance or bearing on... 356 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,572 No. This is the good part. 357 00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:49,794 See you again someday. 358 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:55,883 Brother, Heimdall, you better be ready. 359 00:28:12,817 --> 00:28:16,404 I can't believe you were D.B. Cooper. Come on! 360 00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:19,031 I was young, and I lost a bet to Thor. 361 00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:22,368 Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men? 362 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:25,621 We were right there with you, just surfing that Sacred Timeline. 363 00:28:25,705 --> 00:28:28,791 So that had the Time-Keepers' seal of approval, did it? 364 00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:32,086 Well, I wouldn't think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. 365 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:33,296 That's sort of a... 366 00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:35,506 Let's get back to escapes... 367 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:37,633 - and a little psychobabble. 368 00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:40,511 What is it that you think that you're really running from? 369 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:41,637 Enough. 370 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:45,766 Back in your cage. 371 00:28:46,684 --> 00:28:48,936 See, I can play the heavy keys, too. 372 00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:51,063 I was just standing up to make a point. 373 00:28:51,147 --> 00:28:52,648 I'm sorry, go ahead. 374 00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:54,025 It won't be as meaningful now. 375 00:28:54,108 --> 00:28:55,276 Okay, well, stay seated. 376 00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:56,611 I'll do what I want to do! 377 00:28:56,694 --> 00:28:57,695 Sure. 378 00:29:02,283 --> 00:29:04,702 What exactly is it that you want? 379 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:07,997 I want you to be honest about why you do what you do. 380 00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:09,540 Liar. 381 00:29:09,624 --> 00:29:10,625 I'm serious. 382 00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:16,422 All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. 383 00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:19,383 - What makes Loki tick? 384 00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:22,386 - I know what this place is. - What is it? 385 00:29:22,470 --> 00:29:23,804 It's an illusion. 386 00:29:26,182 --> 00:29:32,355 It's a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. 387 00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:35,650 A desperate attempt at control. 388 00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:37,985 Now, you all parade about 389 00:29:38,069 --> 00:29:41,489 as if you're the divine arbiters of power in the universe. 390 00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:43,908 - We are. - You're not. 391 00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:46,369 My choices are my own. 392 00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:48,746 Your choice is your own. Good, let's go with that. 393 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:50,498 I think this one's gonna fire you up. 394 00:29:50,581 --> 00:29:54,543 The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy 395 00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:57,046 in a mad scramble for power... 396 00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,130 Precisely. 397 00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:00,257 I was... 398 00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:04,178 I am on the verge of acquiring everything I am owed, 399 00:30:04,261 --> 00:30:06,472 and when I do, it'll be because I did it. 400 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,307 Not because it was supposed to happen. 401 00:30:08,391 --> 00:30:12,520 Or because you or the Time Variance Authority, 402 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:15,690 or whatever it is you call yourselves, allowed me to. 403 00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:17,858 Honestly, you're pathetic. 404 00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:19,902 You're an irrelevance. 405 00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:21,862 A detour. 406 00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:24,031 A footnote to my ascent. 407 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:27,368 You finished? 408 00:30:27,785 --> 00:30:29,912 You're gonna start taking things seriously. 409 00:30:29,996 --> 00:30:32,081 - If you hadn't picked up the Tesseract, 410 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:34,750 you would have been taken to a cell on Asgard. 411 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:45,177 Loki. 412 00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:47,263 Hello, Mother. 413 00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:49,265 Have I made you proud? 414 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:52,018 Please don't make this worse. 415 00:30:52,101 --> 00:30:53,102 What is this? 416 00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,771 This is nonsense, more tricks. This never even happened. 417 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:56,897 Not to you. 418 00:30:56,981 --> 00:30:58,149 Not yet. 419 00:30:58,941 --> 00:31:01,277 Look, the TVA doesn't just know your whole past, 420 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,779 we know your whole life, how it's all meant to be. 421 00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:05,406 Think of it as comforting. 422 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:07,158 This is absurd. 423 00:31:07,241 --> 00:31:09,035 And am I not your mother? 424 00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:14,373 You're not. 425 00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:17,168 Hmm. 426 00:31:19,253 --> 00:31:23,466 Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself. 427 00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:26,177 And then the Dark Elves attack the palace, 428 00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:28,554 and you think you send them to Thor. 429 00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:31,057 You might wanna fake the stairs to the left. 430 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,726 But instead, you send them... 431 00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:35,561 17 never tell. 432 00:31:51,327 --> 00:31:53,162 Where do you have her? Where is she? 433 00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:55,206 You lead them right to her. 434 00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:58,042 I don't believe you. You're lying. It's not true. 435 00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,543 It is true. 436 00:32:00,044 --> 00:32:01,754 That's the proper flow of time, 437 00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:06,217 and it happens again and again and again because it's supposed to, 438 00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,426 because it has to. 439 00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:10,137 - The TVA makes sure of it. - Where is she? 440 00:32:10,221 --> 00:32:13,766 Now why don't you tell me, do you enjoy hurting people? 441 00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:15,893 - I don't believe you. - Do you enjoy killing? 442 00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:17,812 - I'll kill you. - Like you did your mother? 443 00:32:25,111 --> 00:32:27,988 Sorry, the Time Twister just loops you, not the furniture. 444 00:32:28,405 --> 00:32:30,366 You weren't born to be king, Loki. 445 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,786 You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. 446 00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:37,540 That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. 447 00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:42,128 All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves. 448 00:32:59,854 --> 00:33:01,063 What is this place? 449 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,442 Come on. 450 00:33:13,993 --> 00:33:15,578 What are you doing? 451 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,247 My job. Is it yours to interrupt? 452 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,124 We have a situation. 453 00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:22,835 There's always a situation. 454 00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:26,630 Don't go anywhere. 455 00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:30,176 It was just getting good. Spirited. 456 00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:39,852 - Talking to that Variant is a mistake. - That's your position. 457 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:41,187 He should be reset! 458 00:33:41,270 --> 00:33:44,106 You think everyone should be reset. I'm getting good stuff! 459 00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:45,191 We lost another unit. 460 00:33:49,820 --> 00:33:52,740 Okay, Loki, I think we can finish up tomorrow and just pick it... 461 00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:07,213 Mischievous scamp. 462 00:34:23,771 --> 00:34:25,397 Wish I could say I was surprised. 463 00:34:25,481 --> 00:34:28,192 - Yeah, I wish you hadn't interrupted us. - Me? It's my fault? 464 00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:29,944 Look, he can't have gotten very far. 465 00:34:30,027 --> 00:34:32,446 Split up. Prune on sight. 466 00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:35,407 No, no pruning, no resetting. He can still help us! 467 00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:45,584 Hey. 468 00:34:45,668 --> 00:34:47,378 Hey. I know you. 469 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:49,964 - You're that criminal with the blue box. 470 00:34:50,631 --> 00:34:52,466 - Ow. - What's your name? 471 00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:54,343 Casey. 472 00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:57,680 Give me the Tesseract, or I'll gut you like a fish, Casey. 473 00:34:57,763 --> 00:34:59,223 - What's a fish? 474 00:34:59,306 --> 00:35:00,307 What's a fish? 475 00:35:00,391 --> 00:35:01,934 How do you not know what a fish is? 476 00:35:02,017 --> 00:35:03,769 I've lived my entire life behind a desk. 477 00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:05,437 Well, what difference does it make? 478 00:35:05,521 --> 00:35:08,315 I wanna know exactly what I'm being threatened with before I comply. 479 00:35:08,399 --> 00:35:11,235 Death, Casey. Violent, painful death. 480 00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:14,321 Okay, okay. I comply, I comply. 481 00:35:15,948 --> 00:35:17,491 I comply. Jeez! 482 00:35:19,243 --> 00:35:22,454 Um... Oh. 483 00:35:22,538 --> 00:35:24,206 This it? 484 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:30,045 What? 485 00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:32,673 Infinity Stones? 486 00:35:35,217 --> 00:35:36,218 How... 487 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:38,971 How do you have these? 488 00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:41,432 Oh, We actually get a lot of those. 489 00:35:41,515 --> 00:35:43,892 Yeah. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. 490 00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:45,853 Some of 'em. 491 00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:29,521 Is this the greatest power in the universe? 492 00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:43,660 Oh, you almost hit me! 493 00:36:43,744 --> 00:36:45,037 That's so messed up. 494 00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:47,873 Split up. Check the lower concourse. 495 00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:50,292 I do not forgive you. 496 00:37:47,099 --> 00:37:48,725 !/ love you, my sons. 497 00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:52,896 Remember this place. 498 00:37:54,648 --> 00:37:55,774 Home. 499 00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:14,835 Loki, I thought the world of you. 500 00:38:17,254 --> 00:38:19,923 ! thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. 501 00:38:25,012 --> 00:38:27,848 Maybe you're not so bad after all, brother. 502 00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:29,308 Maybe not. 503 00:38:30,184 --> 00:38:31,226 Thank you. 504 00:38:32,019 --> 00:38:34,062 If you were here, ! might even give you a hug. 505 00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:36,523 I'm here. 506 00:38:48,327 --> 00:38:49,703 Undying? 507 00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:56,168 You should choose your words more carefully. 508 00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:10,891 You... 509 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,268 will never be... 510 00:39:16,313 --> 00:39:17,356 a god. 511 00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,284 What's so funny? 512 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:15,455 Glorious purpose. 513 00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:03,003 Stop... 514 00:41:04,588 --> 00:41:05,589 It. 515 00:41:06,632 --> 00:41:07,674 Stop it! 516 00:41:09,343 --> 00:41:10,969 St... Stop it... 517 00:41:11,053 --> 00:41:12,387 It... Stop it... 518 00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:15,515 Stop... I... St... Sto... St... 519 00:41:24,358 --> 00:41:27,903 And this guy kept saying he was gonna turn me into a fish, 520 00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:29,029 whatever that is, 521 00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:31,323 and then they show up and just prune my cart, 522 00:41:31,406 --> 00:41:33,075 so there was nothing I could have done. 523 00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:36,703 Hey, there you are. 524 00:41:36,787 --> 00:41:40,082 You know, that Variant you had got away. 525 00:41:58,475 --> 00:41:59,476 Loki? 526 00:42:02,229 --> 00:42:03,605 Nowhere left to run. 527 00:42:07,234 --> 00:42:08,777 I can't go back, can 1? 528 00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:12,698 Back to my timeline. 529 00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:23,834 I don't enjoy hurting people. 530 00:42:28,004 --> 00:42:29,005 I... 531 00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:30,841 I don't enjoy it. 532 00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:36,805 I do it because I have to, 533 00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:38,056 because I've had to. 534 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,142 Okay, explain that to me. 535 00:42:40,642 --> 00:42:43,019 Because it's part of the illusion. 536 00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,986 It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. 537 00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:53,321 A desperate play for control. 538 00:42:54,364 --> 00:42:55,949 You do know yourself. 539 00:42:58,201 --> 00:42:59,911 A villain. 540 00:43:00,579 --> 00:43:01,997 That's not how I see it. 541 00:43:09,171 --> 00:43:10,672 You try to use that? 542 00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:12,048 Oh, several times. 543 00:43:13,717 --> 00:43:16,970 Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. 544 00:43:20,140 --> 00:43:22,184 The TVA is formidable. 545 00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:24,686 That's been my experience. 546 00:43:25,437 --> 00:43:28,064 Listen, I can't offer you salvation, 547 00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:30,942 but maybe I can offer you something better. 548 00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:36,656 A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen. 549 00:43:37,699 --> 00:43:41,328 And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him? 550 00:43:41,411 --> 00:43:42,788 That's right. 551 00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:44,539 Why me? 552 00:43:44,623 --> 00:43:46,541 The Variant we're hunting is... 553 00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:48,543 you. 554 00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:51,963 I beg your pardon? 555 00:44:21,618 --> 00:44:23,954 Time signature is early third millennium. 556 00:44:24,037 --> 00:44:25,163 Definitely anachronistic. 557 00:44:31,837 --> 00:44:32,921 Oil. 558 00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,715 I think some jackass found himself a time machine, 559 00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:37,217 came back here to get rich. 560 00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:39,344 Should we fan out and look for him, sir? 561 00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:42,806 Nah. It's not worth the paperwork. 562 00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:45,559 Just prune it. Let's bail. Set a charge. 563 00:44:46,268 --> 00:44:48,728 Wait. Someone's out there. 564 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,275 Check it out. 565 00:45:04,411 --> 00:45:05,495 Get down! 566 00:50:15,847 --> 00:50:18,057 Thanks for visiting the TVA. 567 00:50:18,141 --> 00:50:20,977 Don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing. 41047

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