Original subtitles

[funky hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

[singer] ♪ Like that, like that, like that ♪

[singer] ♪ Two peas in a pod ♪

Wow. Wow.

You're staying in New York.

I'm staying in New York. I'm staying in New York.

Wow. I...I, um...

Hmm.

OK, that is just the excited best news ever reaction

that I was hoping for.

No, no, it's just, I mean, you know, you worked so hard.

No, look, Chicago can wait. Come on.

You and us is more important to me than Chicago.

I don't want to be responsible

for a big life thing.

Ouch.

Wait, uh, was I thinking that we were becoming serious

all on my own?

No, it's just I think... you know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, what I know is I came to tell my girlfriend

I want to be with her and her response was,

"Don't do me any favors."

That's not how I meant it.

Camille, I'll make it a simple yes or no.

Do you want me to stay?

Message received.

♪ ♪

Quinn!

Family time is officially in session.

Gets out here.

I got some Italian cookies that give you gas.

I went and got me some Funyuns 'cause, bitch,

I'm hot and spicy.

Come on!

Oh, my God, Angie.

OK, Isabela is sleeping.

Girl, you look cute.

Thank you.

But can you please keep it down?

She'll be all right.

Half the fun of having random sex

is when I get to gesture and talk loudly

about my latest sexual exploits.

And you laugh, clutch your pearls,

and ask me questions that a woman your age

should already know the answer to.

Just like we do.

Oh, but if home girl is still here,

then that means your first lesbian bump and grind

was bountiful.

So you first, Quinnie.

I...OK.

[laughter]

Tell me.

OK, OK, OK.

So first, I did not know that the human tongue

could be so versatile.

Ooh.

She was licking it all over the place, huh?

Ooh, sister, ooh.

Once I relaxed, the sex was the best

that I've ever experienced.

Oh, best?

Girl, I had more than one orgasm.

OK, to you losing your lady virginity

and joining the multiple orgasm club.

You're late as hell, but you made it.

Thank you. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Oh, my God.

Shawn, he texted earlier asking if his son left this here.

Poor, sweet Shawn.

I do not want to hurt his feelings,

but I think I need to end it.

Slow down.

Why not have your cake and eat cock too?

No, I know I said I wanted to give Shawn a try,

and I really, really felt like I wanted to,

but I just never expected to have

these feelings for Isabela.

Ang, I feel ready, committed.

Exactly how many orgasms did she give you?

I lost count after eight.

Uh, maybe I need to date her too.

[laughter]

Damn.

Just do not get too ahead of yourself.,

or next thing you know you'll be telling me

that she's moving in and I need to go.

Oh, girl, we are not even there yet.

Yet?

Your turn.

How was sex with the most beautiful man in New York?

Girl, perfection.

Then I met his roommate, even better.

Round three was his even sexier cousin.

I'm hoping to run into all of their daddies next.

And by run, I mean with my vagina.

[laughter]

Girl, this is my lucky year.

I can feel it, girl.

Where's my invite to the slumber party?

- Oh, no. - You guys are mad loud.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry we woke you.

What are we talking about?

- Um. - Oh, you know, family stuff.

Actually, we were just wrapping up.

Weren't we, Angie?

So why don't you and I go back to bed,

and I will see you tomorrow.

Yep.

Kind of getting late. I should probably head home.

No. No, no, no, no.

Angie will be quiet. Right?

[Isabela] It's not Angie.

I just have so many meetings with the run up

to the election, and I need

to be up at the crack of dawn, so...

Oh, well that's good because I love dawn,

and I love cracks even more.

[Isabela] Keep grabbing my ass like that,

- watch what's going to happen. - Yes.

But only for a little longer. - OK, that's fine.

- I really need to go. - Bye, bitch.

My days are numbered.

Good or bad?

Hero or villain?

As anthropologists, we know that that answer

depends on whose lens we're looking through.

Take Pancho Villa, a heroic legend

of the Mexican Revolution.

Or if you were in charge, a deadly revolutionary

who had to be stopped.

History is full of this kind of dichotomy.

I want you to give me 500 words

on from how one cultural perspective

one is a hero, and from another, a villain.

Class dismissed.

Hey, excuse me, Dr. Parks, I got a question

- about today's lecture. - Ian.

What are you doing here?

Snuck in a little late while you were

still looking up at the screen.

- Um, so how-how are you? - I'm all right.

But look, I took some time just to get my thoughts together

and just figure out what I'm doing, and I'm just...

I'm just ready for this.

You know, I'm ready for you,

and I'm just ready for us.

So am I.

[singer] ♪ I'll be there on your all darkest nights ♪

♪ When you feel like no one really needs you ♪

♪ If you tell me what's been on your mind ♪

So then her mother starts just yelling,

like screaming at the top of her lungs at my mother

because she won't talk sense into me,

like I'm not a grown man.

Oh, wow.

Camille's apartment.

This is surreal.

I never thought I'd be back here.

Yeah, you are here.

Wow.

Um, can I get you something?

Uh...

I have some yogurt and some butter.

Oh, this is expired yogurt,

which I think is how you make butter.

And a little rosé left.

Uh, yay to the rosé, no to the yogurt butter.

Yay to the rosé.

I was hoping maybe we could just chat?

Yeah. Yes.

Thanks.

Hey, you're welcome.

[both chuckle]

It feels good to finally be past all the chaos, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, things are finally good with my parents.

No restraining order needed from Mira.

[awkward laughter]

That would have been bad.

How about you?

How was the talk with, uh, Jason?

Oh, Jameson.

Sure.

I mean, how did he take the breakup?

He actually kind of broke up with me first.

He said that he was going to give up

a job opportunity in Chicago to stay here with me.

And I was like, "Whoa, don't give up your life for me."

And then it just kind of exploded.

And he got so mad and left.

So that's how that went.

And then?

And then what?

So, I mean, come on.

How did he take the news about us getting back together?

Well, I mean, it kind of seemed

weird to just, you know, chase him down the street

and be like, "Oh, I know you just kind of dumped me,

"but just to make you extra mad, me and my ex kissed

and now we're back together."

It would, except it wasn't that simple.

I called off an entire wedding for you.

- For me? - Yeah.

So now you're saying this is all my fault?

Well, who the hell else showed up and said

we have to be together?

Yeah, and you said the same thing.

Why are you making me sound like a homewrecker

and you just were passively along for the ride?

I was getting married the next day.

And you didn't think about that?

About maybe Mira not being the one

maybe the moment before that?

Or it was just right up until that second

when evil Camille came, and other than that,

you would have been married today?

What the fuck, Camille?

What the fuck, Ian?

You cannot put this all on me. You made choices too.

You know what?

I'm going to make another choice.

I'm going to talk to you later.

Ian? Wait.

Are you serious?

[upbeat music]

[Camille] I expected Jameson to be pissed at me.

But Ian?

I mean, when did I become the bad guy?

You're not.

Things are just a bit messy right now.

Yeah, but you know what they say,

the way that a relationship starts is how it ends.

Um, if that were true, Genuine and I

would have ended up back in a bathroom on Snoop's tour bus.

Girl, I was riding that pony. Yeah.

Right this way.

Oh, and speaking of getting lucky,

remember when tinfoil dude said my luck would change

if I fucked the pedicure guy?

I don't remember him being that specific.

Which is why I fucked the roommate to be safe.

Point is, I figured, why not test my new luck?

So I bought a scratcher.

I won a free ticket.

Traded it in, won another free ticket.

Traded that in, free ticket.

- I am on my fifth free ticket. - Wow.

She's a millionaire.

Yeah, actually leave that because our friend's coming.

Where is Quinn?

Probably somewhere buying a new dresser for Isabela

or getting their names embroidered on a towel.

I'm telling you, Quinn is ready to move her in and me out.

That seems very, very fast.

You know Quinn.

Somebody smiles at her, and she's planning

their 25th anniversary party.

Plus, you know the joke.

What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A U-Haul.

See? See?

It's like Quinn's sexuality and her relationship thirst

have finally aligned.

Yeah, but it seems like the whole U-Haul thing

is rather simplistic.

And honestly, it's kind of offensive and certainly

not true for you, Tye.

Because I rarely want a second date.

But I'm trying to be better

and more open to something real.

Just in time for me to not even be able to get a first date.

I ran into that hot girl Carla earlier.

- Oh, my bad. - Excuse me.

Oh. Oh, shit.

- Carla, what's up? - Uh...

What's-what's up?

I mean, I thought we had a vibe.

Why haven't you texted me back?

So I can be one more woman with a sad, angry tale

of how you fucked them over?

Wait. What you mean one more?

Who have you been talking to?

The internet, boo.

Oh, your bullshit is well documented on SheBToxic.com.

She dot... dot what?

SheBToxic.com.

Look at this shit.

[Camille] SheBToxic.com.

What is this?

Some shitty website where bitter people go

and put their dates on blast.

I'm all over it.

Scroll down to the one that says Trashy Tye.

"Total trash.

She fucked the waitress during our dinner date at the table."

Come on.

They can't just keep printing lies like this.

Lies, right?

They're true, but still.

This can't get out.

I mean, especially now that I'm trying

to have a real adult date.

Nobody will take me seriously.

And if Brandon's lawyer gets a hold of this,

it will further prove what a bad spouse I was.

Have you talked to Brandon at all?

Radio silence.

But my lawyer thinks that we should request a meeting.

Fuck that shit.

Why would I be chasing somebody to take my money?

OK, I know that's right.

You know what?

I doubt his lawyers could use anything from this wack site

that nobody probably even looks...

oh, my God.

"Professor Parks can't be trusted.

"She gets what she wants and then she ghosts you.

Also, she's pretty." Aw.

"But broke as fuck."

[together] Ooh.

I guess Jameson really is pissed.

Jameson doesn't know I'm broke as fuck.

He wouldn't write that, right? He wouldn't do that.

He wouldn't do... do you think he would do that?

- Maybe Myra? - Or Ian.

No, not Ian. He's definitely not posting.

He can't even figure out email.

Damn, Milly, you got more haters than an Android user

in a group chat.

But fear not, my good sis,

I'm going to go down to that office and I'm going

to get my shit taken down.

And I'll get your shit handled too.

Hey, that's a friend.

Sorry. Sorry.

I surprised Isabela this morning

- with breakfast at her office. - Oh. Hmm.

So you ate already.

Why didn't you just bring her?

I didn't want to cut into couple time.

[Camille] Oh.

And now you're cutting into friend time.

Sorry.

So apparently on the internet, I am broke as fuck.

[Quinn] What?

You are the last thing that is broke as fuck.

Angie's broke as fuck.

Oh, no, Angie won five tickets.

[laughter]

She's a bitch. Luck be a motherfucking lady.

Eight times the charm.

- You won another ticket? - Mm-hmm.

That's what's up.

This is my season, boo.

I found $2 on the subway, and the natural deodorant

is working today.

The lady who ran my mammogram this a.m.,

she wasn't slanging, squeezing, and pressing my boobs

like I stole her man or something.

She was gentle. I felt loved.

Mammogram?

Mad young, but it runs in my family.

Early detection, and I do not play.

- Now golden ticket, please. - Got you.

- Thank you. - Here.

- Quarter. - Thank you.

- All right, let's see it. - Oh, I feel it.

This is the one.

I'm going to win some actual cash.

Oh, there is a $500.

- There I go. - That's a good start.

Come on.

- And another $500. - Let's go.

Let's go. That's all?

That's a... damn.

It was good while it lasted, right?

It's supposed to be my lucky year.

I guess my luck is over.

Ow, shit. Damn.

Ow. I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God. Oh, Funyuns.

[tender music]

♪ ♪

[singer] ♪ Girl, I know it ain't been easy ♪

I'm Marcus.

Hi.

[rolls R] Marcus.

Sorry, I had to. I'm Angie.

I want to show you something almost as beautiful as you.

Impossible, but I would love to see you try.

Oh. Oh.

Damn. Oh, holy shit.

I just had my first real estate orgasm.

That garden is all yours?

[laughs] Yes, it sure is.

The groceries are put away. I'm coming down.

This is just impossible.

Four stories,

the skyline, a rooftop barbecue,

the gym and theater.

I could live in one

of your big ass laundry rooms and be good.

Can I live in your laundry room?

[chuckles]

Don't take this the wrong way,

but how the fuck are you single?

I haven't found the woman that could

actually handle all of me.

I have a lot to offer,

and I find that most women get overwhelmed.

Not to be crass, but if you think this house is big...

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

See, normally that kind of line makes me roll my eyes,

but in this room, in this house it works.

It all works.

Well, maybe today is my lucky day.

Oh, it sure as hell is mine.

You ready to go up and grab that drink?

[chuckles]

Oh, my God. Your hands are huge.

Stay tuned.

We are Sage and Sapphire.

And welcome, sisters, to our poetry.

I open my legs.

The tread on this pussy is legendary.

What is this?

I swear Celesbian magazine said that this

was the go-to event of the week.

Celesbian magazine needs to get out more.

Lick this clit till the 30th of February

and eat my ass like a motherfucking visionary.

[together] Yeah!

- [Sage] End. - There are no words.

Except let's and go.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Ah, I make them, you rake them, sis.

So your bad reviews are just on that site forever?

Yup. I've tried bribing.

I've tried threatening the guy who runs it.

Nothing. It's like that thing where the site

is not responsible for its own contents.

Falsely yell fire in a theater, you can get arrested.

Falsely yell anything online, you're fine.

Wait, falsely? But, like, weren't the posts true?

But, like, aren't you missing the point?

But, like, can you look at the board?

I am looking at the stupid board.

- What led? - [Angie] No, no, bitch.

See, this is why I don't like playing with y'all,

'cause y'all be cheating.

You need to pay attention.

OK, so unless I ask Jameson

to take the ones down about me,

then I'm basically screwed too?

Basically.

[pounding on table]

What?

You just reneged.

Tye, how many times do I have to tell you,

you must watch the board.

Come on and slide me over three bucks, reneger.

Wait. That's a little bit racist.

Can we please not talk over the board?

Anyway, I've been bingeing this site nonstop

trying to find more posts about myself

and toxic Camille.

Sorry. Just kidding. Kind of.

But I've come across hundreds of posts

about this fuck girl Zoe.

I mean, her ability to fuck and run,

she's... legendary but in a bad way.

Mm, like Walt Disney.

So I'm getting to review, like, 45,

where Zoe has another tragic case

at the Hip Hop Sushi spot on 134th.

I realized... she is perfect for me.

She's like a human cactus:

zero care needed.

So I'm going to Hip Hop Sushi to track her ass down.

While I'm looking for Mrs. Right,

I can still fuck like Ms. Wrong.

And we both won't have feelings about it.

Speaking of not feeling, dope-ass-house Marcus and I

went out again... and we had sex.

[Quinn] And?

[grunts]

Now, before we go any further...

- Mm-hmm. - I got to warn you:

once I lay this pipe on you...

Yeah.

Your life is forever changed.

Oh, wreck me, Marcus.

[both moan]

Oh, yeah.

Say my name, baby.

Say my name.

Marcus?

Uh, yeah. Take it.

Take all of it. Oh.

Oh.

Do I have any?

Oh, God.

Oh, Harlem skills!

[groaning]

♪ ♪

It was this small.

- [person 1] No! - [person 2] No way.

Not an exaggeration.

So what were the Harlem skills?

Drying out my pussy.

Oh, my God.

OK, but you didn't say anything, right?

You didn't write a mean review about him or anything

because you're a nice person and because you were

worried about his feelings.

Angie is not a nice person.

Thank you. Fuck his feelings.

What I care about is the house.

So we're going out again.

'Cause I need to have my plan B in place

for when Quinn kicks me out for Lady Isabela.

Oh, my gosh, Angie.

I'm not even thinking about that.

When I moved in, you said if you ever found

someone that I needed to go.

We also said that you'd pay half the rent.

We also said that I'd become less needy.

None of these things have happened.

And I cannot take any chances.

I'll never find a real estate opportunity like this again.

And I'll just get my orgasms in his giant shower

with those jets hitting me in all the right places.

See, everyone has a promising future

except for me.

Still no word from Ian?

No, and I texted him last night like I do after every argument

because his Scorpio ass can't let anything go,

and he didn't write me back.

- He three dotted me. - [gasps]

And it went on so long that I took a screenshot.

Oh. Absolutely not.

I hate getting three dotted.

I three dot sometimes.

On purpose.

To keep women guessing.

You think that maybe you might have earned

your place on SheBToxic?

- Like I earned my place. - No.

No, no, no, no. That is different.

[Angie] You know Tye is worse than you are.

- Bitch. - Thank you. She's way worse.

Camille.

Can you promise me that you're not

going to be pacing up and down your apartment all night

tonight overthinking all of this?

[singer] ♪ Get a plug, get a charge ♪

♪ Get a blunt, get a smoke ♪

♪ You're the one that I want ♪

♪ That I need like this song ♪

♪ I get lost in my thoughts ♪

♪ Damn, I lost all my thoughts... ♪

1, 2, 3, call.

[singer] ♪ Like I told him get lost ♪

♪ Fuck up off of my heart ♪

♪ I don't really need that can't sleep ♪

♪ Kinda love ♪

♪ Can't eat ♪

♪ Please save me kinda love ♪

♪ Don't want that, ooh ♪

- [sighs] - [phone dings]

[singer] ♪ I want you ♪

♪ I want that... ♪

[door buzzes]

Shit.

His keys. His keys.

Shit. Shit.

[punchy music]

♪ ♪

[whispering] This way, Cam.

Cam, Cam, gonna work.

♪ ♪

Mm.

Oh.

I must have dozed off.

You never were a good fake sleeper.

Here. You, uh, left that at my place.

Ironically, it's your dirty laundry.

Goodbye.

Hope you figure your shit out.

My shit? I'm not the one writing,

"Professor Parks can't be trusted.

She gets what she wants and then she ghosts you."

I didn't write that.

What?

Hoo.

Sure could have.

Definitely wish I read this before I called off Chicago.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only guy

you've done this to.

Look, Jameson, I don't...

don't want to turn into this.

Maybe-maybe the way I said it was a-a miscommunication.

Camille, I'm not an idiot.

When you were suddenly repulsed by the idea of my sharing

a city with you, I... I knew something was up.

- I wasn't repulsed. - You know, and I had a hunch

it had something to do with your ex and his wedding.

And since metal straw Mira gave me her ID details,

I went to her page and, surprise, no wedding photos,

which is shocking, since she's posted pics

of every calorie she's ever eaten,

and her last post was her favorite dental floss.

Yet nothing of the biggest day of her life?

And I suspect you not only know there was no wedding,

but maybe you had something to do with it?

Jameson, I'm sorry.

I...didn't tell you because I didn't want you to hate me.

You used me as a placeholder from the beginning, Camille.

No.

No, that's not true.

We were real.

I just thought that my feelings for you

would override my residual feelings for Ian.

And when that didn't happen...

I just didn't know how to tell you.

Yeah, and then trying not to be the bad guy,

you made yourself a much more brutal villain,

because this... this sucks worse than the fucking truth.

Not only did I get dumped, but now I also feel stupid.

I am so sorry, Jameson.

And I hope you believe me when I say

I care for you deeply.

I'm not sure what to do with that.

I'm not sure either.

I, um... I'm not really good with conflict resolution.

Um, but I want this to be

the clean, non-ghosty... goodbye

so that we... we both have closure.

No ghosts.

Clean.

Closed.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[spacey music playing on speakers]

♪ ♪

- Ah. - Seriously?

Oh, baby, she's just an old friend.

Oh.

Asshole.

The infamous Zoe, I presume.

Guilty.

But you know me, but I am certain I have not met you.

Only in the posts of SheBToxic.com.

I'm Tye.

Oh, the notorious Tye R.

Ah, you rip through Harlem, smashing them,

ghosting them, stomping on hearts.

You're even worse.

The Avengers of bad girlfriends.

Ah, we're not bad.

We're just drawn that way.

Women are so...

- Mad sensitive. - Super sensitive.

You get it.

I get it.

So how about, instead of going around town, breaking hearts,

we do what we do best to each other?

Oh, how about it?

Oh, OK.

[Soaky Siren] ♪ I want some of that pump-pump... ♪

[Tye and Zoe laughing]

[Soaky Siren] ♪ When I call they gonna come, come ♪

♪ Like ring-ring they pull up like mm hello? ♪

♪ Can you catch it when I throw it back slow... ♪

[both giggling]

- [yelps] - Oh shit.

[Soaky Siren] ♪ Hit that three-four, three-four ♪

♪ Move like see-saw, see-saw ah! ♪

♪ I wanna get out, get out, get out, get out... ♪

Thank you.

I'm going to have him drop me off at home.

What?

No. Oh, girl, no.

Remember, we have that new episode

of Weather Wives: Australia.

And I have that wine that you love.

I can't.

I have a ton of work.

No. Stay, please?

Just for me.

I can't.

Dinner was it for my social time today.

Are you... are you... are you mad at me?

No.

I have a press thing in the morning,

and I need to prep for a donor lunch.

Running for office is a lot.

Oh.

Yes.

No, of course.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry that I asked if you were mad at me or something.

It's just, my brain is just, mm...

which is something you should know

now that we're a couple.

Couple?

Quinn, we just started hanging out.

Yeah. And it's been amazing, no?

Yes, but...

in a slow and casual way.

Oh, God, you are breaking up with me.

Whoa, stop.

You're getting ahead of yourself.

I like you.

I love spending time with you.

I just don't think I have a lot of time

for a relationship right now.

But I came out for you.

That was for you.

And it was brave and beautiful.

You are brave and beautiful.

But this election is coming fast,

and I don't want to half-ass that

and half-ass things with you.

Oh, my God. I-I feel so stupid.

No, Quinn.

Quinn?

Can we just... can we just take a breather?

Yeah.

Totally.

No, I'm... I'm good.

I'm... I'm fine.

[♪ Jaz Karis: "OPTION"]

♪ ♪

[Jaz Karis] ♪ Don't want your unrequited love, oh ♪

♪ Don't want you to force a happy end ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Yes let me go, go, go, go, go... ♪

[sobbing]

[Jaz Karis] ♪ You gotta let go, go, go, go, go, go oh ♪

[Marcus] I'm waiting.

The Anaconda is hungry.

[Angie] Uh, yeah.

All this talking about your dick?

Maybe less is more.

Nothing less about this monster.

But if we are being honest,

I think you're beautiful.

Thank you.

Mm, sexy.

- Mm-hmm. - Uh-huh.

Have you ever thought of vaginal rejuvenation?

Excuse me?

No need to get upset.

I mean, you obviously been busy

in your dating life,

and I want us both to enjoy sex.

- What? - And you think

that the problem is me.

Brother micro-penis, I'm never going to enjoy

your peanut-packing ass.

Is the problem micro penis or macro pussy?

Because I never had a complaint.

To your face.

We feel bad telling men.

We do not want to be mean.

Those big ass hands and big feet,

they are just false advertising.

Now I'm going to take one last

very, very, very, very long shower, and then I'm out.

Harlem skills?

Nigga, I made you come,

so it's Angie skills.

Thank you.

[music playing]

Quinnie, you will not believe

what this little-dick motherfucker s--

Quinnie?

Hey, what's going on?

I scared another one off.

Oh, no.

Isabela dumped me.

She's crazy.

Angie?

Mm-hmm?

Why won't anyone love me?

Hey. Hey.

No. Don't do that.

No. I am serious.

Guys and now girls?

I mean, did I realize that I was bi

just to double up on my rejection?

I really liked her.

I know you did,

but she just wasn't the one.

And you will find the one who can handle all of you.

I wonder.

I don't.

And I'm in the luckiest year of my life,

so you have to listen to me.

And I know something that will cheer you up.

Family time.

And girl, I got a sex story that will make you laugh.

[laughs] Well, good, because I need to laugh.

Mm.

Angie?

I don't know what I would do without you.

I needed to hear that.

Oh, girl.

I'm not even hungry. I can't even eat.

Unless it's pussy.

Too soon?

[laughing]

No.

It's right on time.

Good.

Hey, Ian.

Uh, you surprised me at work,

so I figured I would do the same for you.

Table 23 wanted a side of brown butter maple carrots,

- not potatoes. - [Ian] Ah.

Give it here.

Look, Cam, I'm real busy right now.

Yeah, no, I... I totally hear that.

I just... I texted you.

And I think that 24 hours is the longest

anyone should have to wait for three dots.

You can't three dot someone, Chef.

- Stir. - Aw, he called you "Chef."

- Camille... - Can you just give me

the brown butter maple carrots?

[Ian] One second, please.

Look, I didn't text you because

I didn't know what to say, and I still don't.

No. That's OK. It's OK.

'Cause I know what I wanted to say.

I would like to think that I am a really good person,

someone that wouldn't hurt anyone else

or wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings,

but that is not true.

And I'm ashamed.

And the reason that I didn't come clean with Jameson

is not because I'm unsure about you

or because I want to get back with him.

It's because I didn't want to say out loud

that I am the person that Mira said I was.

I am the person who kissed another woman's fiancé

the night before their wedding.

And I feel really guilty.

But I do know that I love you.

Brown butter maple carrots.

Look, my man, you want to shut the fuck up

about the brown butter maple carrots?

Damn.

You are the man I want to be my best for,

the one who's seen me at my worst.

And I know that we can't go back,

but I would like to move forward.

You sure you want to be with someone

who called his wedding off the night before,

even though he knew six months ago he didn't feel

what he should for his fiancée?

I mean, I knew six months ago I didn't feel that way for her.

I mean, I'm a piece of shit for doing that.

I projected all those feelings onto you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I mean, he's my man, and I'm sticking by him.

[both laugh]

So I guess we're both trash, huh?

Everybody's got that one person they'd blow their lives up for.

- For me, it's... you. - Well, for me, that's you.

So we did the blowup.

Do you want to rebuild?

[laughs]

[♪ Alex Mali: "Clearly"]

♪ Clearly I'm a sucker for the romance ♪

♪ And I savor all the moments with you...

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Because being one without the other

doesn't allow us to express the fullness of ourselves.

And that's how we grow.

[waiter] Brown butter maple carrots.

Oh, my God.

That's a health code violation.

Wow.

That was amazing.

[Zoe] The best.

Listen, I got some Q shit

I got to figure out.

Some other shit too.

Mind if we call it a night?

I already have my clothes on.

Oh, you gotta teach me that move.

I will do. Text you whenever?

Or never, whichever works.

[Brandon] Honey.

Your husband's home.

[Camille] And other times, the bad guy is just bad.

What the fuck?

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

Ian and Camille are done with the drama.

- Mm... - Oh, no.

- Drama returns. - Drama returns.

[Camille] You and I have both lived lives

in between breaking up and getting back together.

- Hey. - [Camille] Jameson.

My man, we need to talk.

[Angie] My family's barbecue. All my brothers will be there.

It's been a lot of nos lately.

What if I'm a star who never makes it?

You see how strong you actually are?

You take all the rejection and nos,

but you always get back up.

- [Quinn] Daddy! - [Quinn's dad] Maybe if you

tell her about Isabela...

Sharing something like that with Mom?

It's not easy.

[all] Girls' trip!

♪ ♪

[Quinn] What do you think?

You don't need Google Maps

to see where this is going.

My ex wants all my money.

Half? You must be crazy.

I don't have to agree to give him half of...

[Quinn] Q...

♪ R S T U V ♪

♪ A-double-U X ♪

♪ Pa-ride and Z ♪

Ho!

♪ ♪

[Camille] Why is Dr. Pruitt calling me on a Sunday?

Technically, I quit,

so I don't need to impress her anymore.

But then again, I might need her

for a job recommendation.

- Hi, Dr. Pruitt. - What just happened?