Original subtitles

Wow, I just... No, look.

Okay, well, you're gonna have to do a little more schmoozing, okay? You're

have to shake a few more hands, and you're gonna have to make this thing

official, okay? We can't move forward the way it currently stands.

It's just... It's unacceptable, okay? Do you understand?

Do you understand? It is unacceptable the way you are approaching this merger.

Okay, look, look, look.

I don't have time.

talk to you about how to do your job properly. I need you to just take the

initiative and get it done, okay? You understand?

You understand what I'm saying, right?

Okay,

let's see, open the pouch, remove the stick from the pouch, take off the

cap.

Oh my God, this is so confusing. I thought you just feed on a stick.

I thought you just...

You know what I mean? I mean, we'll tell you if you're pregnant or not, but...

I'm not

gonna have to pee right now.

Two to ten minutes? I have to wait two to ten minutes?

Fuck. Fuck.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

You're too sweet. No, actually, my day has not been very good.

Yeah.

So listen, I am... Fuck.

Sorry, I didn't want to have to say this.

I am... I haven't gotten my period.

And I bought a pregnancy test because I think maybe I'm pregnant.

What?

What the fuck? Are you kidding me? No, that this isn't yours?

Seriously?

Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, I haven't had sex with anybody

else except you.

And let alone without a fucking condom. You are the only person I have even

fucked without a condom. You are the one who convinced me to even do it.

Oh my god.

I cannot believe that you are doing this right now. I cannot believe that you

are fucking doing this to me right now. Oh my -

even let you fuck me if I knew that you were going to be this type of girl. You

fucking pretend to be all nice and fucking sweet and kiss my fucking ass so

you can just flip your fucking dick inside me and then what? And then just

fucking pretend like I'm not even here? You're going to just fucking walk away?

You are such a fucking piece of little -

I hope I hear you arguing or just, you know, want to come in and just check on

you, you know, make sure everything is, uh, everything is fine.

No, it's not.

Uh, my boyfriend and I got into a fight.

Oh. Well, that's okay.

You know, I'm sure, I'm sure you'll work through it, you know, these things,

they, they happen, and, uh... I don't know, that sounds a bit... Way better.

More.

Is that what I think it is?

Is that a pregnancy test?

Yeah.

A fucking pregnancy test? Why? What the fuck?

Yeah, that's what this is all about.

God. Hold on a second.

Are you pregnant?

I don't know. That's the thing.

I called my fucking boyfriend because I don't even know how to fucking read this

thing.

Christ, oh my God.

Okay, so not only are you taking a pregnancy test, but you're having

sex?

I mean, honestly, I thought you and your boyfriend were just, you know, like,

dating. I didn't know it was that serious. Are you fucking kidding me? Why

you talk to us about this?

I mean, I wanted to use a condom, but he convinced me. He just kept saying how

good it is, and like, well, he loves me.

Do you understand the repercussions of this? You know, if you have a child

now, like, you haven't even had a job.

How do you raise a kid?

Is this economy? I don't want one. Your mother is going to lose her mind, and

you're fucking multiple people?

No!

No, I'm not. I'm just, I'm just, I don't know what to do.

Okay, okay, okay. Look, look, look. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to make you

more upset. I get it. This is a tough situation, okay? Just breathe,

just relax, and I'll get through it.

Thanks. So, I mean, what's the story? Is he gonna help you out, or what?

No, he didn't want to help me read this fucking thing.

He just...

Kept saying, no, it's not mine.

I was like, I don't know what's going on with you being such a douchebag.

Why do you guys have to be such douchebags?

It's going to be alright.

You know, you're beautiful.

You're so much more deserving than that little chump.

And that's all he is. He's just a little immature prick.

I'm so lucky to have a dad like you.

That's true.

Wait, what do you need? You need some money or something?

Yeah. Yeah, you want to bite your test?

Yeah. I can take care of that for you.

Seriously though, you're like the best stepdad a girl could have before.

Oh, come on.

I'm more than just a stepdad.

I can be a friend.

A trusted confidant.

And, hey, between you and me, we don't have to tell your mother about this,

okay? Really?

Yeah, you've been through enough as it is. We don't need to involve her and

stress her out. We can take care of this.

And I just want one touch from you.

Thanks, Daddy.

Wait.

I don't know if we should be doing this. I mean...

You're my stepdad.

Yeah. Well, you know, if I'm being honest, I always

thought of you as more than just a stepfather.

It's a secret, like I said.

It feels a lot bigger.