Original subtitles

Narrator: the most improbable event of the 20th century

Occurred in Havana, Cuba.

The revolutionary victors marched in

And the national complexion changed completely.

They had been liberated.

The survivors of the old regime escaped as best they could,

Taking with them only a few meager effects,

Such as the Cuban treasury,

And other art objects.

It wasn't always easy to smuggle the loot out of Cuba,

And so, secret meetings were being held all over the island.

This story of robbery, double-crossing and murder

Begins with just such a meeting.

Are you Renzo Capetto?

I am. Who are you?

Never mind who I am. It's the mission that counts.

Let's get on with it.

As an American gambler and gangster

You're above suspicion.

Of course you know that our government has been overthrown.

You know, I heard that.

Shut up.

But not for long. We'll be back.

And if you think you're seeing executions now,

Oh, boy.

-Bravo. -Bravissimo.

Shut up.

But, of course,

You know that to finance a great counter-revolution,

It has been necessary for us to, uh...

Steal the Cuban treasury.

Rob?

Shut up.

Let us proceed.

You're going to lose your casino,

So you'll be leaving Cuba anyway.

You have a big yacht and you can leave any time you wish,

Such as immediately.

Therefore, I'm going to entrust you a solemn trust.

Here we have one fourth of the Cuban treasure.

Your group, General Tostada,

Colonel Cabeza Grande and a squad of men

Will proceed to ciudad Turquijo.

There you will wait for us to contact you

And relieve you of the money,

One fifth of which will be paid to you.

Do you understand?

I get the whole picture.

Now you do the rest. Senores.

General Tostada, colonel Cabeza Grande.

Senor Renzo Capetto.

My name's happy Jack Monahan. Glad to meet you gents.

And now...

The gold.

You two had better get into the car.

The general doesn't know any English, senor Capetto.

I'll be his translator for you.

-Bueno? -Bueno.

Bueno.

Now it's time to go.

-Adios. -Adios.

I'll see you later, huh?

So long.

Narrator: the first move in the great conspiracy had been made.

The Cuban treasury was now in the gentle hands

Of Renzo Capetto, the most trustworthy man

Ever to be deported from Sicily.

They thought they were smart,

But little did they know that I, sparks Moran,

Was an American agent.

Luckily I had been able to work my way into the crew

By posing as a notorious gum machine burglar from Chicago.

My real name is xk150.

Hey, you. Come on down here and help with this.

How did it go, Poopsy?

We had a hairy little chase, but we got the stuff.

Crazy.

Hey, Colonel Grande, you can bring your men aboard.

What happens with all that mob?

I don't know. I thought we'd just have an officer or two,

But it looks like we're gonna have a little difficulty.

Can you think of a way to remove them and grab that loot?

Cos you're my big, strong, swingin' brains. Mmm!

You're sweet, baby.

HI, sis.

HI, baby doll.

Did they scare you?

-Oh, just a little. -Aw.

All right, boys. Get ready to go.

Pete, take the wheel.

Jack, you and, uh...

Clarks, uh, Sparks,

Get ready to cast off.

Well, well, a beautiful night for sailing.

Sparks: and so we left Cuba forever,

Sailing into the most astounding adventure

To be inflicted upon men.

And what a group we were.

The big cheese was Renzo Capetto,

Alias Capo Rosetto,

Alias Ratto Pazetti,

Alias Zeppo Staccato,

Alias Shirley Lamour.

At 15 he served his first stretch

For rolling in drunk in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria,

New year's eve, 1934.

In 1940, he was involved in an unsuccessful attempt

To nominate Benito Mussolini for the republican ticket.

During the war, he was rejected by the navy, marines and the ss.

Now deported, he has retained his contacts with the syndicate

And is still regarded as a dangerous character.

Mary-Belle Monahan, alias Mary Monahan Belle,

Alias Belle Mary Monahan,

Alias Monahan Mary Belle.

They say she was a gun moll

Just because Lucky Luciano

Gave her a rolls royce every christmas.

And they can't really prove

That she sneaked into the hollywood bowl with a tommy gun

And rubbed out a convention of police chiefs in 1956.

All I know is that she got nailed cold

When she was pushing heroin in a laundry room in boystown,

But I'm willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt,

Especially when she's as crazy-looking as Mary-Belle.

This is happy Jack Monahan,

So-called because he developed a muscle spasm in his cheeks

From watching too many Humphrey Bogart pictures.

Happy Jack's record is brief,

His only crimes having been committed

After his sister, Mary-Belle,

Talked Renzo into giving him a job.

Up until that time, happy Jack had been a tennis bum,

Sleeping under the bleachers at forest hills

And mooching nickels in the BMT subway.

Since taking up with Renzo,

He has become a well-known dice loader and murderer.

The most obscure member of the dark quartet...

...Is Pete Peterson Jr., son of Pete Peterson Sr.,

Famed vaudeville bird mimic.

Pete Jr. Inherited his father's talent for animal imitations,

But unfortunately blew his brain out of whack

While imitiating a whooping crane

At the elks convention picnic in Oshkosh in 1942.

Since then, anyone has been able to convince Pete of anything.

Renzo found him struggling along as a pickpocket at the beach,

And took him with him in his exile.

Since then he has been Renzo's faithful servant,

Shining his shoes and rubbing out his enemies.

In return Renzo permits him

To imitate any animal that comes into his head.

That, for instance,

Was the mating call of the Himalayan yak.

There they are, my shipmates.

I didn't know where they were taking

Those unsuspecting Cubans,

But I knew they were taking them.

And so, with grim faces we set our helm

Against the perilous future.

Ok. Now, before I begin,

Has anyone anything to say?

Pete?

How about you, Jack? What do you think we should do?

Give up.

Oh, honey. Is that any way for Mary-Belle's big man to talk?

Now, look.

We've got to get rid of at least half of these Cubans

Without making the rest of them suspicious.

There used to be a Cuban fisherman

By the name of Hemingway.

He got hooked on a sea monster

In these waters a couple of years ago,

And he was dragged for miles, got a lot of publicity.

We're gonna show these boys

The greatest sea monster they ever saw in their lives.

Jack, in my trunk there's some garden rakes

Used for weeding tomatoes.

You get them and sharpen them like scalpels.

Pete, you mix up a mess of olive oil and green ink,

And snag some seaweed from over the side.

Now, Jack...

What are you gonna do?

Sharpen up the garden rakes.

Good boy.

Pete, how about you?

Does he have to do that?

All right, Jack, beat it.

We've had a good life together, haven't we, baby?

Mmm. And you know it, poops.

Winters in Tijuana, summers in Cicero.

Remember that wonderful trip we took to Monte Carlo?

You mean that time we heisted all those $100 chips?

Sure.

Sparks: I'll admit I couldn't

Really hear anything through that door,

But I was sure they were up to no good.

I knew it was up to me to stop them.

Now we're off again to parts unknown.

It's like a second honeymoon.

You know something?

We oughta get married.

Now, don't be a drag, baby.

How much Jack do you think's in that strongbox?

I don't know. There's plenty of Cuban sugar, though.

What are we gonna do with all of it?

I don't know.

I always wanted to open up a home for the aged hoodlums.

Baby, you got a heart as big as all outdoors.

Sparks: a government agent lives in constant peril.

I devised my undetectable radio set

Using simulated hot dogs for knobs

And tubes inside of dill pickles,

While watching a number of sewer workmen during lunch hour.

It comes in mighty handy, believe you me.

One little slip and I could be headed for Davy Jones' locker.

Hello, Havana, this is agent xk150.

Over.

I'm making my first official report.

So far, not too much has happened,

But I'm anticipating.

Renzo Capetto and his gang are on board as suspected.

I am with them.

I will call you again soon one of these days.

This is agent xk150 signing off.

Hey. What's happening?

Just having a bite.

Gee, that looks good. You mind if I join you?

Mmm.

Come to mama.

Crazy.

Six is the point.

Good morning.

The general says,

"Good morning, you gorgeous, beautiful creature."

Would you ask the general to remove himself from my presence?

Um...

The general says you're, um...

You're a golden angel flower singing.

Would you tell the general that

I feel that he'd be most at home

Barbecuing slowly over a hot spit.

Um...

You must be a glutton for punishment.

Oh, now, what do you want?

You're too good for this life.

You're young and you're innocent.

You should get out while the getting is good.

Are you unwell?

The getting is great.

You're a victim of circumstance.

I try. I do try.

You're a crazy, mixed-up kid.

I am perfectly adjusted to my life of crime.

Now, what is your story?

Oh, well, you see I'm beyond help, but you're not,

You could find a clean, young man to marry you.

I haven't got the time.

But I can help you, Mary-Belle.

You can turn blue.

Don't worry, Mary-Belle,

I'll save you.

Or die.

That's a comforting alternative.

Sparks: a secret agent should never sleep,

But there I was, dreaming of mom's apple pie,

While up on deck Renzo and his cut-throats

Were taking the first step, killing an innocent Cuban,

And pretending some imaginary monster did it

Just so they would be panicked into changing course,

So that Renzo could steer them to his own picked destination.

Pete, wait one minute, then give the alarm.

Sparks: but what none of us knew

Was that the monster invented by Renzo

Had already been invented by somebody else.

By a couple of other monsters, I guess.

Help! P-p-police! Murder!

It's a m-m-monster.

What did he say?

The general says what happened?

The deal, if you'd like to hear it...

Please go ahead.

Well, I don't think it was anything human

That killed your soldiers.

I've seen the tracks and the claw wounds on their bodies.

Now, in my studied opinion,

Those soldiers were attacked

By some weird creature from the sea.

Came in, did your boys in and vanished again.

What's so funny?

A creature? How silly.

Did you really think it...

Silencio!

Cue us, colonel.

Well, uh... The general says, uh...

You're right. It is a monster.

The general says these waters are very dangerous,

So we must plot a new course.

Get that?

Our brave General Tostada didn't miss an excuse

To blow the trip and change course.

You think he's got a gleam in his eye?

Pure gold.

Maybe we won't have to knock them all off.

Oh.

You boys are getting careless.

I told you to kill one, not two. What's up? Can't you count?

Ok, Pete. Take the wheel.

Gee, I thought it was only one.

Well, I can't figure this out.

Sparks: so we were going somewhere I didn't know,

Washington didn't know, Renzo didn't know.

We all had to find out.

Well, gentlemen, I think we ought to make our decision.

Skol.

Thank you, Pete.

Now, has anybody got an idea?

About what?

About where we're going.

I thought it was to ciudad Turquijo we were going.

Oh, no. That's been changed.

General Tostada thinks we ought to change course

In order to escape the monster.

Caracas, Venezuela.

No, no, no. I think we ought to go...

Let's go to India. I've always wanted to see a sacred cow.

Actually, I think we ought to go to Cannes.

It really swings this time of the year.

Will you listen?

So strange, my friends, I always had a secret desire,

I always wanted to go to Bali, you know?

Bali?

All: Bali? Bali!

We are not going to Bali.

Tostada: Caracas, Venezuela.

No.

Please tell the general that I am convinced

That we ought to go to San Juan, Puerto Rico.

This is agent xk150 calling agent xk120.

Via 190sl.

Come in, Havana.

Now the first thing we've got to think about

Is how to escape this finky monster.

Now, if you take a look at the chart

You'll notice there's a lot of deep water

Just north of Puerto Rico,

Too deep for the monster to live in.

Well, how do you know he can't live in deep water?

Because of his feet.

He's a walker and he's got to stay at the bottom,

All right, stupid?

All right, stupid.

Now, when we get to Puerto Rico,

We'll take the strongbox ashore.

As an American, I won't be noticed.

I'll take a plane up to ciudad Trahijo.

Take the box with me.

I can say unequivocally, without the slightest qualm of doubt,

That this gang is...

Heading for Bali.

I think the government should watch for us

At the panama canal.

Over.

The general says it's all right, we may go to Puerto Rico.

But he want kept the strongbox out of sight.

Ok, it's a deal.

I think I smell land.

Are we almost there?

Oh, about six or eight hours.

Another lucky shooter. Four the point.

Four the point.

-You're ravishing. -You're sick.

Listen, I have a plan.

As soon as we get there,

We'll wait for night and when Renzo isn't looking,

We'll jump off and swim for shore

Through shark-infested waters so no one will follow us.

Then we'll steal a sailing dinghy and head for Brazil.

How do you like it?

I think it's grand. You oughta do it.

Well, I-I meant you too.

Honey, I wouldn't ride on the same bus with you.

Now, Pete, I want you to listen carefully.

Now, on the north coast of a big island

There's a teeny speck of land called La Isla Del Borracho,

Named after one of Columbus's lieutenants.

It should be deserted by now.

We ought to be able to land there, huh?

Good.

Now, there's a reef around the island

And a very narrow opening which we have to go through.

I am going to run this yacht on the rocks,

Right at the entrance.

Now, during the panic, we'll take the strongbox,

Load it on a skiff and head for shore.

Now, Pete, when we get over 30 feet of water,

I'll give you a signal.

And then I want you to capsize the boat.

You understand?

Later, Pete, we'll come back and dive for it.

You understand everything?

S-s-sure.

-Uh, w-w-we hit the rocks... -Yeah.

And lift the box in the skiff,

And then we'll dump it over 30 feet of water,

So we can come back and get it.

And that's because it's filled with nitroglycerine.

It shouldn't be on board, anyway.

Isla Borracho.

Look at the reefs.

Reefs dead ahead.

We're starting it true.

Baby, I'll save ya.

Remove your hands, sir.

Very well, I won't leave you, I'll never leave you.

We'll drown together.

-You're demented. -My lunchbox.

My, what a short memory.

We're ready to start, but which order?

You two go down

And get the strongbox out of the safe, go on.

It's all right. Be calm, everybody.

The boat's insured.

Sparks: everything went according to plan,

Renzo's and the monster's.

♪ Row, row, row your boat gently up the creek ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily

♪ I'm going to be sick

Sparks: you know, this reminds me

Of one time on lake Minnetonka.

Louise Schmidt and I were paddling along,

When what do you think happened?

The general says you have the orders

As soon as he can assess the situation.

Well, you can tell el general...

Tell him he shouldn't be giving orders around here.

Now, look, you men have no money and you have no guns,

And you're on U.S. soil.

That's all right, I'm on your side.

Pete, I want you to search the island,

See if anybody lives here. Jack.

You take one of the lifeboats and row it ashore.

Take it to San Juan and rent us a fishing boat

And plenty of diving gear.

Uh-huh. Boy.

Oh, colonel.

See if you can get your men to build us a lean-to

Or something to keep the rain off.

Isn't this just great?

Could stay here forever.

That won't be necessary, baby.

Why?

Well, the way I figure it,

These Cubans aren't very much at diving.

But Jack, Pete and I are pretty good spear fishermen.

We'll go down, find the strongbox

And hide it in a hole in the reef.

After that, we'll tell the Cubans that it's no use,

Give up.

It'll be safe there for months, even years,

Until we're ready to come back and get it.

You like it?

Poopsy, sometimes you are so smart you make me sick.

Whoo! Whoo!

Eat. Eat. Is good, is good.

Where did you find her, Pete?

Pete, aren't you gonna introduce me to the lady?

Isn't she beautiful, Renzo?

Very lovely.

Where did you meet?

Oh, no.

That must mean they're in love.

I wish you many happy returns of the day.

Isn't that a ring you're wearing, miss, uh...

Porcina Perez.

It's a wedding ring.

Welcome home, baby doll.

Aloha.

Get the equipment?

Oh, about 20 bottles, 10 regulars,

Masks, spearguns, the works.

Overdid it as usual.

Well, ok, we're gonna start diving this afternoon.

I brought something else home with me too.

Carmelita. I'd like you to meet Renzo Capetto,

My sister Mary-Belle.

Hi.

Mr. Pete Peterson and...

Well, I don't know who the large woman with him is.

Porcina Perez.

Hi.

Hello, everybody.

You found this woman in San Juan?

Well, she was living in a sort of sorority house

Down by the docks.

She's awful friendly.

Why don't you come on with me, honey?

I'll show you our sorority house.

Senor Capetto, I have the honor to report

That my men will be ready one hour.

Ready for what?

To dive to the strongbox.

You mean your men are divers?

Yes. They are Cuban army frogmen.

Ole.

Sparks: I had the situation well in hand.

Mary-Belle was weakening as I'm sure you've noticed.

Then she came into my life.

I didn't see her coming,

But somehow I sensed her presence

And knew that my life was changed forever.

Hello.

Hello. Who are you?

Carmelita Rodriguez.

Sparks Moran.

Sparks: as a trained espionage agent,

I could tell that she was attracted to me.

But I wanted Mary-Belle.

And Mary-Belle wanted Renzo.

And Renzo wanted the gold.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Sparks! Sparks! Idiot.

You keep this thing firm.

Are you all right?

Oh, yes. Oh.

All right. Well, then, let's just keep an eye on him.

I don't know, but I'm ready.

No, no. No, gringos, no.

All right, Pete.

Bye.

Good luck, Poopsy.

Sparks: the search for the strongbox had begun.

But the sea was cluttered up with Cubans

Dispersed by General Tostada to search independently.

All those Cubans alone in the deep.

This was a chance for Renzo to again become the sea monster.

A lonely Cuban had found one of the many wrecks on the bottom.

And Renzo had found the lonely Cuban.

Their attack was cleanly executed.

The victim was dead, the killers delighted,

But not satisfied.

Renzo must have another quart of latin blood.

We waited, sensing the dangers below...

While the unholy three sought new prey.

It didn't take them long to find it.

What happened? Was he attacked?

No, it was a monster.

What do you mean, a monster?

A real, live, honest-to-goodness monster

With claws and everything.

Oh, you're nuts. Totally insane.

Carmelita, it's too dangerous for you here.

Let's run away and live a little.

No, no. I'm in love with sparks.

-Sparks Moran? -Si.

Well, how can you be in love with him? He's an idiot.

You ought to be in love with me.

No, I'm in love with him.

And I don't care if I never see you again.

Oh, if I'd only paid my life insurance premium,

I'd kill myself.

Oh, no, no, no! Don't kill yourself.

But why not?

No, you come with me.

I'll show you. Come with me to the jungle.

You've seen one jungle, you've seen them all.

You come with me, you see in new light.

Hello, Charles.

Oh, senor.

I'm very much afraid of this monster.

Well, why don't you just pack up and go home?

No. I am an officer.

We will not stop until we have the strongbox.

From now on, we'll dive with spearguns.

Crazy.

Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Senor happy Jack, this girl is my daughter.

Her name is Mango.

Mango?

Si.

Ah, I was telling her what that no-gooder Carmelita do to you.

I was telling her to cheer you up.

Oh, gee, thanks, Porcina, but it really wasn't necessary.

Oh. You no like Mango?

Oh, yeah, I like her.

She not speak good English, senor.

Oh, I don't think that's gonna matter at all.

Ok. Uh, I'm going back now.

Mr. Pete Peterson Jr., he is waiting for me now.

-Adios, Porcina. -Adios.

Are you all right, Porcina?

Oh, I'm all right, my hero.

Hey. Where's happy Jack?

Oh. Come on. I take you to them.

-Them? -Yes.

Oh, I don't know what you said, Mango,

But it sure was wonderful.

I feel the same way, Mango.

I never felt like this in my whole life before.

Oh, I know, Mango.

I know.

Why, here comes Pete and Porcina.

HI, Jack. Who's your friend?

This is Mango Perez, Porcina's daughter.

Gee, she's almost as pretty as her mother.

Yeah, she's wonderful.

Yeah, but can she do imitations?

Well, I don't know.

And I don't care because I love her.

Gosh. Are you gonna marry her?

Yeah, well, why not?

Why not? If you marry Mango and I marry Porcina,

I'll be your father.

What kind of a bird call is that?

Oh, we cannot talk here, we cannot talk.

My Meshugana husband, he make big trouble.

Yeah. I just had a fight with him.

You know, Pete,

I'm getting tired of all this running around.

You know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to marry Mango and settle down here.

I could start a tennis club.

They don't have clubs.

They have rackets.

No, you're right.

But you know something, though?

I'd like to do the same thing myself.

Say, why don't we rub them all out?

And this way we can keep the strongbox for ourselves.

Oh, yes. Even Mary-Belle?

Oh, gee. I don't know about her.

Well, she is my sister.

Course, we could keep her around to do the housekeeping.

Sure.

And she'll get over losing Renzo.

Sure.

How about it? Is it a deal?

Sure.

Besides, they've been cheating on their income tax anyway.

Mango, she want go swimming.

All right, all right, let's go.

Sparks. Sparks. Where's Pete and the boy?

They know we should be diving this afternoon.

I think they're somewhere in the jungle.

Senor.

What's this? Well, what is this?

This man's wife is playing around with Mr. Pete.

He's very angry.

That's tough.

This man wants to sell you his wife for $50

And a case of rum.

Tell him he's nuts.

Carmelita, will you talk to him? We're busy.

Oh, sure. I will tell him to cut down to 20 for a fifth of gin.

Gin nothing! Who wants to buy his improbable wife?

Come on, General Tostada, let's get going.

Come on.

Uno, dos, tres.

Uno, dos, tres.

Uno. Dos.

Dos.

Tres!

All right, baby.

Listen, you hold these because I can't use them

Without Peter and Jack to help me.

I'll keep 'em warm for you.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

You're it. You're it.

Sparks: Renzo Capetto had at last found the strongbox.

And the unknown partner had found Renzo Capetto.

Oh!

You're it, you're it, you're it.

Pete: you're it, you're it.

Oh. Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Pete, find my daughter! Please.

Mango! Mango!

Mango!

Mango!

Why did you have to do it, Renzo?

Why did I have to do what?

Don't play games with me. Why did you kill her?

Jack, I swear I had nothing...

I said don't play games.

We all saw the same five incisions

And those round marks from that stupid plunger.

Why don't you ask Mary-Belle?

I gave her the rakes before I went under.

That won't play. You had two more in your trunks.

Just in case, you said, remember?

Yeah, I remember, but they're still there.

I can't convince him, honey. Maybe you can.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to go along with Jack.

You think I did it?

Well, what else can I think?

You made that monster up out of thin air,

Now don't try and tell me it's real.

I'm not that stupid.

Well, I am.

I always believed in it.

But it's gotta be real.

Either that or the Cubans are trying to kill us off.

I can't buy that.

I don't care what you buy.

From now on we're going to dive with spears

Like the rest of 'em.

We've got to get rid of the rest of those Cubans

As quickly as possible.

We'll start tomorrow morning with tostada.

Jack.

Pete.

Sparks: possible death notwithstanding,

The courageous general and two of his men

Dove once more into the deadly sea.

But...as usual, they were not alone.

Renzo waited for them to separate.

One poke away and then there were two.

Tostada went all alone into the forbidding void

With the killers closing in.

The giant observer stood watching

Over a pathetic bit of cloth,

All that remained of Mango.

At last tostada had found his gold

In his own watery grave.

The general died as all generals should.

His greedy murderers let his body drift away

While they congratulated each other.

Happy Jack found a scrap of a dress

And knew what had happened to his beloved.

Suddenly...

Don't touch me!

Oh, honey.

Don't try to talk yourself out of it.

Trying to talk to yourself cool this time.

Baby.

Telling me the Cubans did it, only they were on board.

Now, who was down there with Jack?

No, baby, you gotta believe me.

I'm never going to look at you again!

Oh, Ren... Ugh!

Mary-Belle, I saw what he did to ya.

They killed your brother.

And now you've got to leave, Mary-Belle,

And there's no one to help you but me.

Oh, Mary-Belle, I love you so much I could split.

Just get on!

What do you do to my man?

Oh, shut up!

I'll save you.

Sparks: it was dusk.

I could tell because the sun was going down.

You were right, senor,

All my army is finished.

I knew when the general died.

I don't care about the box any more, let the monster keep it.

I don't want him to kill any more of my men.

Neither do I, colonel.

I think we must go to ciudad Turquijo in the morning.

You can go anywhere you like.

I'm going home.

To America?

America.

No, I can't go back there any more.

-Sicily. -Oh.

I've got an uncle there who's been after me for years

To help him stamp grapes.

It's beginning to appeal to me.

Mary-Belle hates me.

I know.

But I love you.

Kind of nice having somebody love you.

Why don't you try to love me?

You might like it.

I guess I can try.

Sparks: she pressed her hot latin lips against mine

And I forgot everything but Carmelita.

But our silent partner was not going to let me forget.

This was it.

There was but one thing

A responsible, trusted representative

Of the united states government

Could do at a time like this...

Get out of there.

Mary-Belle.

Yes?

Honey.

I'd just like one more chance to explain.

Please.

It's all right, Poopsy.

It doesn't really matter.

No matter where you go or what you do,

Or who you kill,

I'll love you till the day I die.

Sparks: Renzo loved Mary-Belle, but he was the skipper

And decided to go down ahead of his ship.

Carmelita, I've never known a girl like you.

You haven't spent your whole life in a monastery?

Carmelita, I love you and I want to marry you,

And take you away from all this.

Mm. That I would like, I think.

Of course we'd have to live on the salary of an American spy,

Which is 41.50 a week.

I don't care.

You are so strong, so intelligent.

You see how you solved the whole case.

You are the smartest in the whole world.

I'm not really as smart as I look, Carmelita,

You see, i-i have to admit that, all that time,

I thought Renzo and the Cubans

Were trying to steal that strongbox,

But I was wrong.

The real killer was the monster.

So what?

You're beautiful.

Sparks: so I got the girl.

And guess who got the gold.