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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:04,120
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,121 --> 00:00:06,722
This is the third time we've
been here in two weeks, Sam.
3
00:00:06,723 --> 00:00:08,574
Any idea why you're having
so many fights?
4
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:11,427
Yeah, yeah, ever since that
biker bar closed down,
5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,062
we're getting these
big apes coming in here.
6
00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:14,380
I mean, what are
we supposed to do?
7
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,064
Be grateful.
8
00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:19,802
You know something,
9
00:00:19,803 --> 00:00:21,637
if you'd get over here
when I called you,
10
00:00:21,638 --> 00:00:24,006
none of this would've happened.
11
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,741
Oh, oh, look at this.
12
00:00:25,742 --> 00:00:27,442
Woody. Oh, man,
are you all right?
13
00:00:27,443 --> 00:00:28,844
Yeah, I'm okay.
14
00:00:28,845 --> 00:00:30,981
See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
15
00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:33,015
We're gonna have to
file an injury report.
16
00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:35,268
You bet you are.
Tell him, tell him what happened.
17
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,736
Well, I was downstairs
getting a case of scotch,
18
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,972
and there's that one low beam...
19
00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,542
What happened here?
20
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,367
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
21
00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:54,737
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
22
00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:01,376
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
23
00:01:01,411 --> 00:01:03,779
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
24
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,349
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
25
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:10,686
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
26
00:01:28,706 --> 00:01:32,975
Can you believe this guy winning
12 million bucks in the lottery?
27
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,745
I... I mean, talk about
beating the odds.
28
00:01:35,746 --> 00:01:38,048
Oh, yeah, you want to talk about
beating the odds,
29
00:01:38,049 --> 00:01:40,984
my Uncle Spence fell 20,000 feet
from an airplane
30
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,068
and hit the only pile of hay
for two miles.
31
00:01:43,087 --> 00:01:44,220
Jeez.
32
00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:46,356
He must be the luckiest
man on earth.
33
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,390
Well, not really.
34
00:01:47,391 --> 00:01:49,459
He went through
the propeller first.
35
00:01:54,065 --> 00:01:57,116
There's the scariest human being
I've ever seen in my life.
36
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,384
Hmph. Boy. Yeah.
37
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:02,155
Remind me to congratulate
the doctor who created him.
38
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,423
You Sam?
39
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,541
Yeah, that's me. Are you Tiny?
40
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:05,909
I'll be right with you.
41
00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:07,444
Uh, Sam, you ought
to think about
42
00:02:07,445 --> 00:02:09,211
wearing those reading
glasses all the time.
43
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,914
That guy's huge.
44
00:02:12,783 --> 00:02:13,984
No, no, no, no.
45
00:02:14,018 --> 00:02:15,752
That's his name.
Tiny's his name.
46
00:02:15,786 --> 00:02:17,954
He was the bouncer
at that biker bar.
47
00:02:17,955 --> 00:02:20,056
I figure if we're gonna
have that crowd in here,
48
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,059
I might as well
have him around. What do you think?
49
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:23,175
Oh, please, Sam.
50
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,812
If I promise to feed
him, can I keep him?
51
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,379
Yeah, I'll ask him.
52
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,648
Hey, Tiny, why don't you
fill out this application
53
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,518
so I can start checking
your references.
54
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,468
That's nuts.
55
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,636
Sam's wasting his money.
56
00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:35,705
I could have done that job.
57
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,174
Sure, I'm taking karate
down at the YW...
58
00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:40,176
The "Y."
59
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,614
So, Tiny, huh?
60
00:02:44,615 --> 00:02:46,616
That's a pretty funny nickname
given,
61
00:02:46,617 --> 00:02:47,817
you know, how big you are.
62
00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:48,884
Why?
63
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,653
You making fun of my name?
64
00:02:50,688 --> 00:02:52,689
You think I got a joke name?
65
00:02:52,691 --> 00:02:55,842
Do you think I'm
some kind of joke?
66
00:02:55,844 --> 00:02:57,961
Tell Vera I loved her.
67
00:02:57,962 --> 00:02:59,362
Hey, wait, ho! Excuse me here.
68
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:00,830
Tiny there, my main man.
69
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:02,799
Hey, uh, step into my office.
70
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,433
I'll take care of this, Normie.
71
00:03:04,502 --> 00:03:06,135
You see, Tiny, uh,
72
00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:09,238
you know, calling you "tiny,"
a guy of your, you know, girth,
73
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:12,742
uh, is what we in
the comedy profession call a juxtaposition.
74
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,829
Right? Yeah. Juxtaposition.
75
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,463
See, it's, uh,
76
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,516
calling a... calling a...
a bald guy "Curly."
77
00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,151
Fat guy "Slim."
78
00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:24,787
Tall guy... "Shorty."
79
00:03:26,657 --> 00:03:28,224
I like that. You're smart.
80
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,093
Why, thank you.
81
00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:31,878
No, that's your new nickname.
82
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,646
Get it? I made a joke.
83
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,284
And a fine joke it is, too, sir.
84
00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:42,021
Hey, guys.
85
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,823
Now I know you sent me out
for snack food,
86
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,959
but I found this place called
The Healthy Alternative.
87
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,712
Now they have all your favourite
munchies, only organic,
88
00:03:48,713 --> 00:03:51,064
with tofu and soy
and that sort of thing.
89
00:03:51,182 --> 00:03:54,850
So I drove right past it,
went to the grocery store,
90
00:03:54,851 --> 00:03:56,553
and got you a big box
of Fiddle Faddle.
91
00:03:56,554 --> 00:03:58,203
Hey.
92
00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:04,260
Lilith, I'm so jealous of you.
93
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,695
Excuse me?
94
00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:07,797
Yeah, I-I saw you outside.
95
00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:09,199
After seven years of marriage,
96
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,501
how do you guys keep
your relationship so hot?
97
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,086
I don't know what you mean.
98
00:04:13,154 --> 00:04:16,055
Outside, I saw you in the car.
99
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,890
You were all over him.
100
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,558
Come on, it was great.
101
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,795
You were steaming up the windows
like a couple of teenagers.
102
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,564
Well, I've just won
five games in a row.
103
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,945
When you're hot, you're hot.
104
00:04:27,385 --> 00:04:29,068
Oh, hi, Buttercup.
105
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,319
Now that's odd.
106
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,223
He's here and I just
saw the two of you
107
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,723
out in the... Oh, my God.
108
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,110
What's the matter?
109
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,327
Uh, nothing. Rebecca and I
110
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:39,896
just have to have
a little talk in the office.
111
00:04:39,897 --> 00:04:41,564
It's private. Oh, my God!
112
00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:42,999
Anything I can help you with?
113
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,968
No, I can handle it ably
on my own.
114
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,399
Well, I'm here if you need me.
115
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:49,239
Lilith, I don't
want to hear this.
116
00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:50,840
Calm down, Rebecca.
117
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:53,343
I've got enough to deal with
without you going berserk on me.
118
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:54,910
Yes, that was me
you saw in the car,
119
00:04:54,911 --> 00:04:57,147
and, obviously, the man
with me was not Frasier.
120
00:04:57,148 --> 00:04:58,731
Lilith, you are
having an affair!
121
00:04:58,732 --> 00:04:59,782
It isn't an affair.
122
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,334
It was a one-time fling.
123
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,869
I've been working side by side
with this man for months,
124
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,572
and I'm afraid
our latent desires
125
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,106
just got the better of us.
126
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,390
It's the old story.
127
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,126
One moment we were
feeding the lab rats
128
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:14,396
and the next thing we knew,
we were in a hotel room.
129
00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:18,551
What you saw was me saying
good-bye to him.
130
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,102
Well, then he must be
hard of hearing.
131
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:22,171
You had his ear in your mouth.
132
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,408
We both know it was a mistake.
133
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:28,260
It will never happen again.
134
00:05:28,312 --> 00:05:29,779
What are you gonna do now?
135
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,648
Well, there's only
one thing I can do.
136
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:34,083
I have to tell Frasier.
137
00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:37,386
Now, until I find the time
to tell him in my own way,
138
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,655
you must promise me
139
00:05:38,656 --> 00:05:41,040
you're not going to say
anything to him about this.
140
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,642
Well, how the hell
am I gonna do that?
141
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,961
What?
142
00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:47,296
Because this is juicy stuff.
143
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,297
The more I'm sitting
here thinking
144
00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:49,348
that I should keep
my mouth shut,
145
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,466
the more I want to
just go out there
146
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:52,535
and blab it all over.
147
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,570
I know that's wrong,
but it's just me.
148
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,672
Please, Rebecca, you'll only
have to control yourself
149
00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:57,773
for a little while.
150
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,208
Frasier and I are
going to have dinner
151
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:00,709
with another couple
up at Melville's,
152
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:03,312
and as soon as it's over,
I'll break it to him.
153
00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:05,581
Lilith, you have
a big problem. Yes, I know.
154
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,968
My entire marriage
is on extremely shaky ground.
155
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,371
No, I mean you only have
about an hour
156
00:06:10,372 --> 00:06:11,587
until I blow.
157
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,100
Hi. Welcome to Cheers.
158
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,536
You want to feel
the plate in my head?
159
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,472
I can make it move.
160
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,324
No, uh, we're just
looking for friends,
161
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,292
and, uh, they're not here.
So, bye.
162
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:38,013
Sammy, that's guy's making me
a little nervous, okay?
163
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,750
What're you talking about?
The guy's great.
164
00:06:39,751 --> 00:06:42,735
He's already stopped two fights,
keeping everybody in line.
165
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,626
Best of all, he thinks minimum
wage is two dollars an hour.
166
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,492
Wow, you're cheating him
out of 50 cents an hour?
167
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:54,430
Boy, I'll tell you,
having Tiny in this bar
168
00:06:54,431 --> 00:06:55,731
is about the most exciting thing
169
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:57,901
that's happened around here
in a long time.
170
00:06:57,902 --> 00:07:01,503
Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't.
171
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,389
No, I-I think the most
exciting thing, uh,
172
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,857
contrary to your belief, Carla,
173
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,326
was when, uh, Sammy fiddled
around with the cable box
174
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,928
and we were able to get
The Playboy Channel
175
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,763
all day long, huh?
176
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,182
Well, you know, some people
who didn't know any better
177
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,685
might think that
that was interesting.
178
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:18,254
Well, how about, uh, last week
179
00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:20,005
when Phil told us
that he did time?
180
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,259
Now that was juicy.
181
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:24,360
Yeah.
182
00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:25,945
Oh, yeah, real juicy.
183
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:30,115
I don't think so.
184
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,935
What are you trying
to say, Rebecca?
185
00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:34,604
I'm trying to say
that I have got major dish
186
00:07:34,638 --> 00:07:36,372
bottled up inside me.
187
00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:38,207
And it's just dying to get out.
188
00:07:38,275 --> 00:07:40,710
Oh, God, here it comes.
I can feel it.
189
00:07:40,744 --> 00:07:42,544
It's coming up through my chest.
190
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,963
I can feel it in my throat.
191
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:49,235
It's...
192
00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:00,395
So, Phil, what did
you do time for?
193
00:08:00,431 --> 00:08:02,981
I held up a Piggly Wiggly.
194
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:07,519
Can I now get on with my life,
please?
195
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,659
Is the, uh, TV too loud
for you folks?
196
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,194
Tiny?
197
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:17,829
The TV's not actually on.
198
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:21,600
Then why do I keep hearing
the Kill 'Em, Tiny show?
199
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:29,525
Sammy, you heard that.
200
00:08:29,559 --> 00:08:31,961
The guy is nuts.
201
00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,029
Oh, yeah, maybe you're right.
202
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,297
Maybe I should just, you know,
talk to him.
203
00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:35,798
Tiny, could I talk to you
for a second?
204
00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:37,583
Yo!
205
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,135
How you doing?
206
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,336
Oh, great, Sam.
207
00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:41,837
Listen, and don't you worry.
208
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:44,007
There won't be any trouble
in here while I'm around.
209
00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,875
I just hope somebody tries.
210
00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:47,610
Do you want me to tell
you what I'm gonna do
211
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,145
if somebody starts some trouble?
212
00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:50,813
Uh, no, actually,
213
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,848
I don't think
I want to hear that, man.
214
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,552
Okay, but I did
draw you a picture.
215
00:08:57,438 --> 00:09:00,673
Well, how can I...
216
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,009
Oh, my God.
217
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,877
Uh...
218
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,179
So, uh, did you want
to tell me something?
219
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,750
No, well, no, no,
uh, just, uh, carry on.
220
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,485
Carry on. Okay.
221
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,824
Carla...
222
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,559
look what this guy drew.
223
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,260
That's nothing.
224
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,562
I got worse than that
on my refrigerator.
225
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,883
Here is my question.
226
00:09:27,884 --> 00:09:29,252
Now I had the seafood salad.
227
00:09:29,253 --> 00:09:31,720
You had the poached salmon.
228
00:09:31,755 --> 00:09:33,956
Neither of us
had any appetizers.
229
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,991
They had appetizers and soup
230
00:09:36,026 --> 00:09:38,027
and the lobster special,
231
00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:39,995
and yet we split the
meal fifty-fifty.
232
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:42,560
Now, am I wrong, or did
we just get royally ripped?
233
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,150
Frasier, we need to talk.
234
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,402
You're darned right we do.
I don't know
235
00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:47,537
if I want them
as friends anymore.
236
00:09:47,538 --> 00:09:49,188
No, I mean I have
to tell you something
237
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,322
that's rather serious.
238
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,657
What is it, Lilith? In fact,
239
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,093
I dare say you're gonna
find it extremely upsetting.
240
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,144
All right.
241
00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:56,829
Well, I think we should
discuss it at home.
242
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,697
No, no, no, Lilith,
you just don't tell someone
243
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,933
that you're going to upset them
and then just let them dangle.
244
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,368
Whatever it is,
just tell me right now.
245
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,036
I'll be upset,
then I'll get over it.
246
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,438
We can go on with our lives.
247
00:10:05,506 --> 00:10:07,306
Please, let's just go home.
248
00:10:07,308 --> 00:10:09,041
No, Lilith, I want to know
249
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:09,942
right now.
250
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,944
All right, if you
must know immediately,
251
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,278
I'll tell you.
252
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,113
Have a seat.
253
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,482
Oh, great.
254
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,951
It's... It's "have a seat" bad.
255
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,321
Just-Just
256
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,923
give me a minute to,
uh, to brace myself.
257
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,927
Uh, I know, I'll simply
imagine the worst thing
258
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,329
you could possibly tell me,
259
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:34,400
and whatever your news is,
it will pale by comparison.
260
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:38,054
In fact, whatever it is,
it... it'll be a relief.
261
00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,705
Okay, okay, uh...
262
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:42,925
what is the worst thing
I can imagine?
263
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,710
All right, I've got it.
264
00:10:44,762 --> 00:10:46,862
Lilith, your news, please.
265
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:51,100
This afternoon,
266
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:54,503
in a moment
of extreme weakness...
267
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,857
I cheated on you.
268
00:10:57,859 --> 00:10:59,358
That was it!
269
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,826
That was the worst thing!
270
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,194
Try to remain calm.
271
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,395
How can I remain calm
272
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,297
when you tell me you
slept with another man?!
273
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,532
You slut!
274
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:14,540
I-I... I can't believe that.
275
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,379
I knew the whole time.
276
00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:23,132
I have known it
for over an hour.
277
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:26,202
And I didn't say
a word to anybody.
278
00:11:26,236 --> 00:11:29,238
I kept a secret. I kept...
279
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,890
Tragic, isn't it?
280
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,446
You're still angry, aren't you?
281
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,348
How can you tell?
282
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:57,717
The fact that this park bench
used to be chained
283
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:01,954
to that cement block next to
the statue of George Washington.
284
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,590
I wanted to be alone.
285
00:12:09,078 --> 00:12:12,047
This is a very serious
matter, Frasier.
286
00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:14,583
Yes, it is serious, Lilith.
287
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:18,320
However, I will refrain from
indulging in clichéd reactions...
288
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:21,123
rage, the crying, the screaming,
289
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,375
the hurling of epithets:
290
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,979
Tramp, whore, slut, floozy,
bitch, ad infinitum.
291
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:30,900
You did call me slut.
292
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:34,536
Yes, but I didn't call you a
tramp, whore, floozy or bitch.
293
00:12:34,570 --> 00:12:36,638
I have too much
respect for you...
294
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,707
even though you have
been a slut.
295
00:12:40,744 --> 00:12:43,145
Of course you deserve to know
296
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,147
everything that happened
and why.
297
00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:46,582
Look, all I want to know is who.
298
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:47,983
Who it is doesn't matter.
299
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,585
This is about us.
300
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:51,971
The identity of the other
person is irrelevant.
301
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,223
Fine, Lilith, I respect that.
302
00:12:54,258 --> 00:12:57,593
It'll be just one more
secret between us.
303
00:12:57,627 --> 00:12:59,661
One more brick in the wall.
304
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,548
All right.
305
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,284
It was my colleague,
306
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:09,254
the distinguished research
scientist, Dr. Louis Pascal.
307
00:13:09,273 --> 00:13:11,073
The bald guy?!
308
00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:12,407
Frasier...
309
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:14,910
I never meant to hurt you.
310
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,731
But for so long now
I have felt so alone.
311
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,533
It seems we can't talk without
getting into a fight.
312
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,603
Even the smallest conversation
erupts into bickering.
313
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,356
It just goes on every...
Oh, I can see what's going on here.
314
00:13:27,357 --> 00:13:29,325
I can't believe I didn't
think of this sooner.
315
00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:30,559
I'm such a dope.
316
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:31,994
What are you talking about?
317
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,296
You're in your
mid-30s, right? Yes.
318
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:35,764
It's perfectly natural for you
319
00:13:35,765 --> 00:13:37,575
to be examining
your life right now.
320
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,830
You are comparing
the expectations you had
321
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:41,136
of yourself in the past
322
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,972
with what you've actually
achieved up to now.
323
00:13:42,973 --> 00:13:44,740
Frasier, that... No, no, wait.
324
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,808
Wait, let me finish.
325
00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:47,476
And how many years
have we been married?
326
00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:49,028
Seven.
327
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,813
The perfect time for you
328
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,582
to be re-examining
our relationship.
329
00:13:53,617 --> 00:13:55,351
You're practically a cliché.
330
00:13:55,385 --> 00:13:57,219
Frasier, I am not a cliché.
331
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,822
I'm talking about something... Oh, please,
you got hit with the old double whammy.
332
00:13:59,823 --> 00:14:02,557
Of course you had a fling.
And why wouldn't you?
333
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:04,911
Thank God. For a while I thought
we had a problem.
334
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,712
Frasier, you're not
listening to me.
335
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,414
"You're not listening to me."
Right out of the textbook.
336
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:11,000
I can't tell you
how annoying this is. Of course you can.
337
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,636
Volumes have been written on how
annoying analysis can get.
338
00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,270
Frasier, I'm gonna ask you
one more time.
339
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,473
This is our marriage
we're talking about.
340
00:14:17,507 --> 00:14:18,940
Our lives.
341
00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:22,144
Stop being a psychiatrist
and start being my husband.
342
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:28,617
All right, Lilith.
343
00:14:28,651 --> 00:14:30,585
I'll be your husband.
344
00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:40,762
But for seven years now
345
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:43,932
we've tried to build
something together,
346
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,035
and I think we've done
a pretty good job.
347
00:14:46,069 --> 00:14:49,305
It's not worth throwing
it all away on something
348
00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:52,291
so empty, meaningless
and unfulfilling.
349
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,426
Actually...
350
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,328
I don't want to hear it!
351
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:59,698
Frasier, don't you
see that this incident
352
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,436
is symptomatic of
much larger problems?
353
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,155
We can work on that.
354
00:15:06,189 --> 00:15:08,791
We owe it to our marriage.
355
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,593
But you must march over
to Pascal
356
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:13,545
and tell him,
in no uncertain terms,
357
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,364
that you will never
see him again.
358
00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:20,736
Very well.
359
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:23,038
I'll go now.
360
00:15:25,442 --> 00:15:28,176
Certainly you're being
very rational about this.
361
00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:29,662
Very civilized.
362
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,515
Well, I'm... I'm nothing
if not civilized.
363
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,002
By the way,
364
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,805
this Pascal, is he married?
365
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,357
No.
366
00:15:41,391 --> 00:15:42,892
Why?
367
00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:46,845
I thought I could bag his wife,
even the score.
368
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,899
I'm sorry. I'm venting.
369
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,584
Go.
370
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,529
Oh, people. Sheesh.
371
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,749
Think they'd never seen
a blowtorch scar before.
372
00:16:06,783 --> 00:16:08,134
Wow.
373
00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,153
Who took a blowtorch to you?
374
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,154
I did.
375
00:16:12,155 --> 00:16:13,289
I let myself down.
376
00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:14,823
Nobody lets Tiny down.
377
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,961
Sammy, you've gotta
get rid of that guy.
378
00:16:18,962 --> 00:16:20,112
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
379
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,346
You're right,
you're right. Let him come.
380
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,547
I'll fire him.
381
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:28,020
Say, um... Tiny?
382
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,822
Could you step over
here for a second?
383
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,474
Oh. Um...
384
00:16:31,475 --> 00:16:33,542
Listen, I want to talk to
you about the job for a minute.
385
00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:34,977
I want you to know
386
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:37,413
it's not that we don't
like having you here.
387
00:16:37,447 --> 00:16:40,316
It-It's just that, uh, well...
388
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:41,567
Knock, knock.
389
00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:47,707
I'm sorry. What?
390
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:48,974
Knock, knock.
391
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,877
Who's there?
392
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,228
The dead guy.
393
00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:56,082
Oh, boy.
394
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,553
The, uh, dead guy who?
395
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:01,847
The dead guy that I killed.
396
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,121
Get it?
397
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,429
I thought I heard 'em all, man.
398
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,014
Oh...
399
00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:14,817
So, uh, what were you
saying about the job?
400
00:17:14,851 --> 00:17:17,302
Uh, well, it was just that, uh,
401
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,189
we-we were all... talking and,
402
00:17:20,223 --> 00:17:22,942
uh...
403
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,578
we have decided, uh, to make
you the Employee of the Month.
404
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,381
Thank you.
405
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:30,516
Yeah, all right.
406
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,784
All right, thanks.
407
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,619
Sam, what gives?
408
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,255
I've been working my butt off
for you for seven years,
409
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,786
and you're making Tiny the
Employee of the Month?
410
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,259
Not, not now, man.
411
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,628
I-I'm trying to think of
a way to get rid of him.
412
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,598
Boy, you are one fickle guy.
413
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,566
All right, all right, please,
414
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:49,334
please, help me,
help me out here.
415
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,535
Excuse me, excuse me. Wait.
416
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,471
Can I just be the voice
of reason here
417
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,691
and suggest that we keep Tiny.
418
00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:58,460
Personally, I think he's
a welcome addition
419
00:17:58,495 --> 00:17:59,945
to the Cheers family.
420
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,782
Please, we gotta do this, Carla.
421
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:05,450
I get it. This is
an ego thing, huh? Right?
422
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,653
A handsome man comes
into this bar,
423
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:11,290
and you just can't
stand it, can you?
424
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,742
Wait, hold it. I've got an idea.
425
00:18:13,743 --> 00:18:15,077
I got an idea. Wait, whoa, whoa.
426
00:18:15,078 --> 00:18:16,662
Listen, come here. What we do
427
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,396
is we tell him
that Cheers was built
428
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:21,033
on an ancient burial ground
and we scare him out of here.
429
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,784
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Wait, wait, no,
430
00:18:22,785 --> 00:18:24,053
I got one, I got one.
431
00:18:24,054 --> 00:18:26,255
No, no, listen,
this is very popular nowadays.
432
00:18:26,256 --> 00:18:28,340
Tell him we have radon gas,
very deadly,
433
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,010
seeping up through the
floorboards, and we're all goners anyway.
434
00:18:31,011 --> 00:18:32,377
Yeah, okay, what
about a bomb threat?
435
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,847
What about treating him like
a human being with feelings?
436
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:36,581
No, that-that would nev...
437
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,152
Oh, man,
438
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,354
I'm sorry. We never, we...
439
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,523
Uh, I'm big, not deaf.
440
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,325
I'll go now.
441
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,460
Nice working with you folks.
442
00:18:57,287 --> 00:18:58,687
Hey!
443
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:01,023
Whoo! Yeah!
444
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,292
Greetings, all.
445
00:19:03,293 --> 00:19:04,076
Hey, Frasier.
446
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,344
What can we get you?
447
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,546
Oh, uh, just a scotch,
please, Sam.
448
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,915
Boy, what a day I've had.
449
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,350
I'd like to unwind.
450
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,718
I think I've earned it.
451
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,588
Well, coming
right up, Dr. Crane.
452
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,128
No, I've really
earned it, Woody.
453
00:19:27,183 --> 00:19:29,384
I mean, this was a real bad day.
454
00:19:31,688 --> 00:19:33,772
I'll tell you when
to stop, Woody.
455
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,748
One more, Woody.
456
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,084
One more for the...
457
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:47,886
the big stooge.
458
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,723
One more for the big loser.
459
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,725
One more for the big boob.
460
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,326
Hey, hear that?
461
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,929
Frasier wants to buy
you guys a drink.
462
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,684
Woody, Woody, come to me
for a moment here.
463
00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:07,672
Listen, when you go
home tonight...
464
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:08,857
to your wife Kelly,
465
00:20:08,891 --> 00:20:12,161
You treat her right.
466
00:20:12,195 --> 00:20:14,712
You promise me.
467
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,614
Treat her right.
468
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,650
Hell of a woman.
469
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:21,619
If I wasn't married, I'd be all
over her like white on rice.
470
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:27,226
That perky little
caboose of hers.
471
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,546
There you go.
472
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,880
What's this?
473
00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:33,966
That's, uh,
black coffee on the house.
474
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,668
Very generous.
475
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,771
You guys are true friends
476
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:41,056
to stand by me
in my hour of need.
477
00:20:41,057 --> 00:20:43,175
Fras, come on, we all know
what you're going through.
478
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,377
Oh, oh, do you, Norm?
479
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:48,314
What if you found out Vera
was sleeping with another man?
480
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,531
Yeah, right.
481
00:20:49,566 --> 00:20:52,484
And what if it rained beer?
482
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:56,554
I want you all to know
I'm not blaming her.
483
00:20:56,589 --> 00:21:00,159
It's because of me that my life
is in the arms of another man.
484
00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:02,995
Uh, well, you mean "wife,"
don't you, Dr. Crane?
485
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,380
What? You said "life."
486
00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:07,750
"It's because of me my life
is in the arms of another man."
487
00:21:07,784 --> 00:21:10,502
Oh, that's a-that's a
Freudian slip there, Woody.
488
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:11,736
What's a Freudian slip?
489
00:21:11,754 --> 00:21:13,539
Oh, that's when you say
one thing
490
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:17,042
when you're actually thinking
about a mother.
491
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,847
Frasier?
492
00:21:24,901 --> 00:21:27,302
I need to speak
with you in private.
493
00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:29,504
Oh, no, you don't.
494
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,358
I want everyone here to hear
what I've got to say to you.
495
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,276
Lilith, I realize
496
00:21:34,310 --> 00:21:37,946
that it is I and not
you who are to blame.
497
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:40,115
Whatever you've done,
498
00:21:40,149 --> 00:21:43,652
I'm sure I gave you
ample reason for it.
499
00:21:43,686 --> 00:21:47,589
I've been...
arrogant, overbearing,
500
00:21:47,624 --> 00:21:49,858
selfish, self-absorbed.
501
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:52,026
I've spent way too much
time in this place.
502
00:21:52,027 --> 00:21:54,296
I really think we should go
somewhere else to discuss this.
503
00:21:54,297 --> 00:21:56,831
No, Lilith, so you
had a fling? So what?
504
00:21:56,866 --> 00:21:58,467
I've put all that behind me.
505
00:21:59,535 --> 00:22:01,687
I forgive you.
506
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:04,940
And I-I take you back
with open arms.
507
00:22:04,974 --> 00:22:07,693
I'm sorry, Frasier.
508
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,245
I wanted to break it
off with Dr. Pascal,
509
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,397
but I'm afraid it's
more serious than I thought.
510
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,250
I think I'm in love with him.
511
00:22:15,284 --> 00:22:17,635
And... I'm leaving you.
512
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:28,480
Oh, this is twice today
513
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,166
that I publicly
made a fool of myself.
514
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,852
Oh, you get used to it, Doc.
36485
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