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1
00:00:01,337 --> 00:00:04,139
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,173 --> 00:00:05,840
Hey, Cliffie. What you doing?
3
00:00:05,874 --> 00:00:09,094
Uh, writing a letter
of application for the Eco pod.
4
00:00:09,128 --> 00:00:10,562
What the heck's the Eco pod?
5
00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:12,764
It's a totally
self-contained environment
6
00:00:12,765 --> 00:00:15,901
located in a mile-wide bubble
underneath the desert floor.
7
00:00:15,935 --> 00:00:17,736
Yeah.
8
00:00:17,737 --> 00:00:20,154
It's gonna be inhabited
by the best and the brightest
9
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:24,392
of the, uh, human species,
so I-I thought I'd apply.
10
00:00:24,394 --> 00:00:26,578
They're gonna have a zoo
in there, too?
11
00:00:26,612 --> 00:00:28,780
Yeah. Yeah, very funny, Carla.
12
00:00:28,781 --> 00:00:30,699
You'll be laughing out of
the other side of your face
13
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,201
when they make me Postmaster
General of the Eco pod.
14
00:00:33,202 --> 00:00:37,038
Actually, the Eco pod
does have some scientific merit.
15
00:00:37,039 --> 00:00:39,207
It was designed
by a colleague of Lilith's,
16
00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:40,475
Dr. Louis Pascal.
17
00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:41,960
It will serve as a prototype
18
00:00:41,961 --> 00:00:43,795
for the colonization of space.
19
00:00:43,796 --> 00:00:45,696
Plus which,
the grant money is incredible.
20
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,632
I hear Pascal's driving a Lexus.
21
00:00:49,302 --> 00:00:51,152
Boy, I sure hope I get a shot
22
00:00:51,187 --> 00:00:53,054
at being sealed
up in that thing.
23
00:00:53,056 --> 00:00:54,906
Say, would a petition help?
24
00:00:54,941 --> 00:00:57,208
It might.
25
00:00:57,209 --> 00:00:58,192
Hey, I'll sign that.
26
00:00:58,193 --> 00:00:59,327
No! I'm first!
27
00:00:59,361 --> 00:01:01,179
Okay... Boy.
28
00:01:01,314 --> 00:01:04,198
You guys are the best
friends a fellow ever had.
29
00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:11,990
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
30
00:01:12,024 --> 00:01:16,461
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
31
00:01:17,763 --> 00:01:22,400
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
32
00:01:22,434 --> 00:01:24,669
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
33
00:01:24,704 --> 00:01:27,238
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
34
00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:31,543
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
35
00:01:50,363 --> 00:01:53,431
Sammy, when is Woody getting
back from his honeymoon?
36
00:01:53,465 --> 00:01:55,966
I've been working
a double shift for two weeks,
37
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,602
and I'm exhausted.
38
00:01:57,670 --> 00:01:59,487
Oh, thank you. Come again.
39
00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,924
Oh, my God, who am I?
40
00:02:06,345 --> 00:02:07,895
Uh-oh. Isn't that Henri,
41
00:02:07,896 --> 00:02:10,531
that jerk who's always trying
to steal Kelly from Woody?
42
00:02:10,532 --> 00:02:12,600
You know, I just
don't like that guy.
43
00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:13,868
Con artist.
44
00:02:13,869 --> 00:02:15,187
Yeah, Mister Frenchie Two-Face.
45
00:02:15,188 --> 00:02:17,022
Hello, fellows!
46
00:02:17,024 --> 00:02:19,491
Hey, Henri! How's it going?
47
00:02:19,493 --> 00:02:21,909
Hey, Henri,
what can I do for you?
48
00:02:21,911 --> 00:02:23,728
Uh, I need a favour, Sam.
49
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,014
I need you to tell
the Unemployment Office
50
00:02:26,048 --> 00:02:29,483
that I applied for a job,
and you turned me down.
51
00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:31,285
Sammy, come here.
52
00:02:31,286 --> 00:02:32,887
What?
Listen, why don't we hire the guy?
53
00:02:32,888 --> 00:02:34,388
That would help me out a lot.
54
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:35,932
Oh, I-I don't know about that.
55
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:37,609
Henri, did you ever tend bar?
56
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:38,910
- Well, yes, but...
- You're hired.
57
00:02:38,911 --> 00:02:40,845
No, no,
but you are missing the point.
58
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,547
You are to turn me down
59
00:02:42,582 --> 00:02:44,532
and send me on my way so that
60
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:47,752
I might spend my afternoon
watching television.
61
00:02:47,803 --> 00:02:49,937
I'm sorry, man,
but I need the help.
62
00:02:49,972 --> 00:02:51,656
Thanks.
63
00:02:51,724 --> 00:02:54,508
Okay, give me an apron.
64
00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:56,177
Oh, mon dieu.
65
00:02:56,211 --> 00:02:58,046
I am filling Woody's shoes.
66
00:02:58,097 --> 00:02:59,981
Oh, the pressure.
67
00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:05,820
Well, Henri, let me be
your first customer, okay?
68
00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:09,324
I would like a beer, please,
and put it on my tab.
69
00:03:09,326 --> 00:03:12,127
Aren't you supposed
to pay when served?
70
00:03:12,161 --> 00:03:13,461
Well, as long
71
00:03:13,462 --> 00:03:15,998
as we're bringing up the matter
of debt, Frenchie,
72
00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:17,299
let me bring up a
couple little things
73
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,218
called World War I
and World War II, okay?
74
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:23,504
Now, why don't we
subtract the cost of my puny little beer
75
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:26,007
from the enormous
debt that you owe us?
76
00:03:26,009 --> 00:03:28,275
Okay, okay.
77
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,862
Hey, uh, you came down pretty
hard on him, didn't you, Norm?
78
00:03:30,863 --> 00:03:32,080
Damn it, Cliffie.
79
00:03:32,131 --> 00:03:35,350
My dad was almost in the army.
80
00:04:00,976 --> 00:04:02,944
Say, can I bum a cigarette?
81
00:04:02,978 --> 00:04:04,378
Yeah, I got one right...
82
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:06,448
Oh, God! Sam, I swear, I swear.
83
00:04:06,482 --> 00:04:07,615
I can't believe you...
84
00:04:07,649 --> 00:04:10,017
No, this is the only
one that I've had!
85
00:04:10,052 --> 00:04:12,570
You promised me you would
not smoke in the office.
86
00:04:12,605 --> 00:04:14,906
We had a little problem
with that, remember?
87
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,140
Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
88
00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:17,842
Whoo! Whoosh!
89
00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:19,693
I know, I know, and
I've tried to quit,
90
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,129
but it's too hard-I just can't!
91
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,131
Yeah, well, you need
some professional help.
92
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,465
Oh, wait a minute.
93
00:04:24,499 --> 00:04:26,033
Yeah, here we go.
94
00:04:26,068 --> 00:04:28,970
"Smokers Anonymous,"
"Smoke Beaters."
95
00:04:29,004 --> 00:04:31,305
Oh, yeah, yeah.
96
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:34,208
"Doctor Kluger's
No-Mercy Clinic."
97
00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:35,509
Wait a minute. Let me see that.
98
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:36,944
Here we are.
99
00:04:36,945 --> 00:04:38,712
Sam, he doesn't even have
an ad; it's just his name.
100
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:39,981
How about going with this one
101
00:04:39,982 --> 00:04:42,349
with the cute
little smoking kitty?
102
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,718
Yeah, uh, is this,
uh, Dr. Kluger?
103
00:04:44,753 --> 00:04:47,655
Well, my name's Sam Malone,
and I have an employee
104
00:04:47,689 --> 00:04:50,258
that needs to stop smoking
right this very minute.
105
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:51,759
Can you help me out?
106
00:04:51,794 --> 00:04:55,129
Yeah, tell me
about your program.
107
00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:56,380
Oh! Ow!
108
00:04:56,415 --> 00:04:58,282
Boy, I bet that hurts, huh?
109
00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:02,203
Wow, I bet you really
have to be a doctor to do that, don't you?
110
00:05:02,238 --> 00:05:05,106
Uh, no, no. It sounds terrific.
111
00:05:05,141 --> 00:05:06,841
Yes, I can. All right, great!
112
00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,309
Thank you very much.
113
00:05:08,344 --> 00:05:09,644
Sounds good. Oh, yeah.
114
00:05:09,678 --> 00:05:11,746
I'll fit it in in my spare time.
115
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,248
Maybe I'll stop by next week.
116
00:05:13,249 --> 00:05:14,516
No, you don't understand, hon.
117
00:05:14,517 --> 00:05:16,684
We got to get you up
to the sidewalk right now.
118
00:05:16,685 --> 00:05:18,686
They're sending
the, uh, Kluger van.
119
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,854
Oh, yeah. Van?
120
00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:21,338
Oh, yeah. Come on. Kluger van?
121
00:05:21,357 --> 00:05:22,524
It'll be good for you.
122
00:05:22,558 --> 00:05:23,924
You'll be all right.
123
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:34,101
So,
124
00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:37,355
you're the girl
who likes to smoke.
125
00:05:37,357 --> 00:05:38,640
You don't intimidate me.
126
00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:40,875
I've been to a million
of these places,
127
00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:42,076
and they don't work.
128
00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,261
I'm out of here.
129
00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,495
Oh, well, fine. Go.
130
00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:45,896
You're free to leave.
131
00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:47,231
No doorknob.
132
00:05:49,501 --> 00:05:51,536
Yeah, that's right, Miss Howe.
133
00:05:51,538 --> 00:05:55,289
Because you have the key,
and the key is discipline.
134
00:05:55,357 --> 00:05:56,658
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
135
00:05:56,692 --> 00:05:58,860
I'm scared.
136
00:05:58,861 --> 00:06:02,130
Why don't you just save
yourself some time
137
00:06:02,131 --> 00:06:03,364
and unlock the door?
138
00:06:03,399 --> 00:06:05,333
Uh... all right, Miss Howe.
139
00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:08,002
Relax. Have a seat.
140
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,672
Why don't you have a cigarette?
141
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:15,143
In fact...
142
00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:20,014
why don't you have,
a thousand cigarettes?
143
00:06:25,287 --> 00:06:27,355
Now...
144
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,541
you are going to smoke
145
00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:32,710
until you can smoke no more.
146
00:06:32,728 --> 00:06:35,579
But I predict you will
not get past 50.
147
00:06:35,614 --> 00:06:38,516
No one has ever gotten past 50.
148
00:06:38,617 --> 00:06:42,369
I had 50 in the van.
149
00:06:42,455 --> 00:06:45,089
Oh, well,
150
00:06:45,091 --> 00:06:49,377
I can see this is going
to be a challenge.
151
00:06:49,411 --> 00:06:52,046
All right, hold my calls.
152
00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:03,991
And so you can
imagine my embarrassment
153
00:07:04,026 --> 00:07:07,261
when I made two dates
for the same night.
154
00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,013
Uh, what happened when
your two lovelies arrived?
155
00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:10,148
Was there a cat fight?
156
00:07:10,182 --> 00:07:13,084
Oh please, tell me
there was a cat fight.
157
00:07:13,152 --> 00:07:15,169
Of course.
158
00:07:15,204 --> 00:07:16,770
There was a big cat fight.
159
00:07:16,805 --> 00:07:18,406
They were very, very naughty.
160
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,809
I don't even know why I kept
letting them up on the bed.
161
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:26,197
Henri, where was the strangest
place that you ever...
162
00:07:26,198 --> 00:07:29,283
Oh, that would have to be, uh,
ah, during a performance
163
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,486
in the balcony
at the Paris Opera.
164
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,421
And believe me,
165
00:07:33,423 --> 00:07:36,757
it wasn't over
until the fat lady sang.
166
00:07:36,842 --> 00:07:39,009
Very impressive.
167
00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:42,079
And what about you, Sam?
168
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,283
You're supposed to be
a great ladies' man?
169
00:07:44,316 --> 00:07:46,584
All right, let's see,
the strangest place,
170
00:07:46,618 --> 00:07:48,919
that'd have to be,
uh, the back of a car.
171
00:07:49,021 --> 00:07:51,038
Well, that's not so strange.
172
00:07:51,073 --> 00:07:53,708
The car's on an
assembly line, Henri.
173
00:07:55,277 --> 00:07:57,645
You played with me, Sam.
174
00:07:57,696 --> 00:07:59,146
Hey, I like you.
175
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,414
It's nothing personal.
176
00:08:00,415 --> 00:08:02,049
As a matter of fact,
I think of you
177
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,451
as kind of a...
young Sam Malone.
178
00:08:04,453 --> 00:08:08,122
Uh, don't you mean, you're
kind of, uh, an old Henri?
179
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:10,875
No, I don't.
180
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:14,245
Well, but why should
we argue the point
181
00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:15,914
when we can settle it in battle?
182
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:17,665
What do you mean?
183
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:20,851
I suggest a little competition.
184
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,486
All right, here's what we do.
185
00:08:22,504 --> 00:08:26,240
We shall collect phone numbers
from beautiful women.
186
00:08:26,275 --> 00:08:29,010
Whoever has the most phone
numbers at midnight
187
00:08:29,044 --> 00:08:32,613
will be acknowledged as the
world's greatest ladies' man.
188
00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:33,864
That's a great idea.
189
00:08:33,866 --> 00:08:35,116
Hey, take him, Sammy!
190
00:08:35,117 --> 00:08:36,401
Yeah, put him in his place.
191
00:08:36,402 --> 00:08:38,602
Don't listen to this.
It's a stupid idea.
192
00:08:38,604 --> 00:08:39,753
Oh...
193
00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:42,339
Do I hear a scaredy-cat's tune?
194
00:08:42,358 --> 00:08:45,092
Would you grow up, Henri?
195
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,979
Scaredy-cat, scaredy-cat,
scaredy-cat.
196
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:49,213
Hey, hey, stop that.
197
00:08:49,247 --> 00:08:50,848
Hey, please, will ya?
198
00:08:50,866 --> 00:08:54,035
Maybe ten years ago I would
have taken this silly bet.
199
00:08:54,036 --> 00:08:56,170
But I'm, I'm older,
and I'm a little wiser.
200
00:08:56,171 --> 00:08:57,938
Oh, well, maybe
you're right, Sam.
201
00:08:57,973 --> 00:09:00,207
Maybe we don't need to compete.
202
00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:03,678
I'll simply be king of ladies' men
203
00:09:03,712 --> 00:09:06,413
and you'd be the mayor
of Scaredy-Cat Town.
204
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:09,633
You'd better hurry.
205
00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:12,270
I am about to get
my first number.
206
00:09:12,271 --> 00:09:14,638
Yeah, well, he can get
all the numbers he wants.
207
00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:16,389
I'm not going to
stoop to his level.
208
00:09:16,408 --> 00:09:17,574
Bravo, Sam.
209
00:09:17,609 --> 00:09:19,143
You handled that very well.
210
00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:20,845
It's good to see that
you've evolved
211
00:09:20,846 --> 00:09:23,281
beyond the playboy mentality
of bedding every woman you meet.
212
00:09:23,282 --> 00:09:25,382
Times have changed and you've
wisely changed with them.
213
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:26,617
I applaud that.
214
00:09:26,651 --> 00:09:29,301
Oh, well, I appreciate that.
Thanks. Thanks very much.
215
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:35,543
Well, the king of babes is dead.
216
00:09:35,577 --> 00:09:39,347
What the hell are
we supposed to do now?
217
00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:54,111
Norm. Yeah.
218
00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:56,147
Tell the bartender
I need a vodka-rocks.
219
00:09:56,148 --> 00:09:59,333
Sammy, Carla needs a
vodka-rocks and a beer.
220
00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:05,873
Carla, will you cut it out with
this "tell the bartender" stuff?
221
00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:07,275
It's me, Sam.
222
00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:08,909
Sam is dead.
223
00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:11,663
He died, when he wouldn't take
the challenge from Henri.
224
00:10:11,664 --> 00:10:15,133
You know, that's just childish.
225
00:10:15,134 --> 00:10:16,934
Can we please just talk
about anything
226
00:10:16,935 --> 00:10:18,802
besides this damned bet?
227
00:10:18,804 --> 00:10:21,021
Yeah. Okay, how about this?
228
00:10:21,056 --> 00:10:24,858
What would, uh, Metropolis
be like if Superman retired?
229
00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:29,230
Oops! One thing wrong
with that scenario.
230
00:10:29,265 --> 00:10:32,066
Superman gives a damn.
231
00:10:34,019 --> 00:10:36,270
I've got two more numbers, Sam.
232
00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:38,473
Yeah, well, I'm not
playing, Henri.
233
00:10:38,557 --> 00:10:40,675
You will, Sam, you will.
234
00:10:40,676 --> 00:10:42,209
Yeah? What makes you think so?
235
00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:43,945
Because I know you, Sam.
236
00:10:43,979 --> 00:10:47,482
Deep down you're a, uh-uh,
babe-hound just as I am.
237
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,216
Admit it.
238
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:54,054
With every phone
number I catch, you die a little inside.
239
00:10:56,157 --> 00:11:00,795
You can deny what you are to
the others, but not to me.
240
00:11:00,829 --> 00:11:05,766
Come, Sam, come over
to the dark side!
241
00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:13,157
Just go fill
a pretzel bowl, will you?
242
00:11:13,191 --> 00:11:14,592
Okay. Okay.
243
00:11:14,627 --> 00:11:18,996
But after they're filled-
come to the dark side!
244
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:24,051
Normie, now that Sammy's dead,
245
00:11:24,052 --> 00:11:26,420
you realize we're gonna
have to live vicariously
246
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:27,655
through Henri?
247
00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:30,324
No, Cliffie.
248
00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:33,794
Just say we stopped living
vicariously through others, huh?
249
00:11:33,829 --> 00:11:37,248
What do you say we get
off our duffs for once,
250
00:11:37,249 --> 00:11:39,717
and live ourselves, so
that some other poor slubs
251
00:11:39,718 --> 00:11:41,486
can live vicariously
through us? Huh?
252
00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:42,953
What do you say we...
253
00:11:42,988 --> 00:11:44,955
Oh, shoot!
254
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,291
Damn, I nearly got
through it, too!
255
00:11:47,326 --> 00:11:48,993
You were good. Yeah.
256
00:11:49,027 --> 00:11:50,928
I thought you were gonna do it!
257
00:11:52,414 --> 00:11:54,182
You are the most beautiful woman
258
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:55,600
I have ever seen.
259
00:11:55,634 --> 00:11:57,384
It would make
my life worth living
260
00:11:57,385 --> 00:11:59,086
if only I could have
your phone number.
261
00:11:59,087 --> 00:12:00,471
Sorry.
262
00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:01,822
Nothing personal.
263
00:12:01,857 --> 00:12:03,367
I just don't like French guys.
264
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,460
Oh...
265
00:12:06,461 --> 00:12:07,795
Well, uh, that's, uh,
266
00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:08,996
that's just an affectation.
267
00:12:08,997 --> 00:12:10,230
I'm Chuck from Portland.
268
00:12:13,986 --> 00:12:16,620
I-I just figured
you're so sophisticated
269
00:12:16,621 --> 00:12:18,823
that you-you wouldn't
have anything to do
270
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:20,658
with plain old me.
271
00:12:20,692 --> 00:12:23,461
You should have more
confidence, Chuck.
272
00:12:23,495 --> 00:12:26,380
Maybe this will help
your self-esteem.
273
00:12:26,381 --> 00:12:30,384
I got another one.
274
00:12:30,385 --> 00:12:32,219
Thank you.
275
00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:35,322
Sammy!
276
00:12:35,357 --> 00:12:36,924
I am thrashing you soundly.
277
00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:37,992
You better hurry!
278
00:12:37,993 --> 00:12:40,094
You'll never catch up!
279
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:41,929
Look at Sammy
just standing there.
280
00:12:41,963 --> 00:12:43,982
Maybe Henri's right.
281
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:46,851
- Maybe he is a...
- Scaredy-cat.
282
00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:50,270
You guys don't get it, do you?
283
00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:52,105
You know, it's...
284
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:54,742
I've done all this
babe-chasing stuff.
285
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:56,277
All right, here-here's
what it is.
286
00:12:56,278 --> 00:12:58,612
It's like-it's like watching
The Three Stooges.
287
00:12:58,613 --> 00:12:59,746
You know?
288
00:12:59,747 --> 00:13:01,449
You watch the early ones
with Curly,
289
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:02,770
and they-they were magic!
290
00:13:02,784 --> 00:13:05,419
And then-then you watch
the later ones, you know,
291
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,955
where they're using the same
jokes with Curly Joe,
292
00:13:07,956 --> 00:13:10,023
and it just breaks your heart!
293
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,761
See, what I'm saying is...
294
00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:15,095
I guess, you know,
295
00:13:15,096 --> 00:13:16,830
you-you've got to move
with the times.
296
00:13:16,831 --> 00:13:18,216
That's all.
297
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,902
Well, listen to the scaredy-cat
knocking Curly Joe.
298
00:13:23,305 --> 00:13:25,556
I got another one, Sam!
299
00:13:25,557 --> 00:13:27,425
Hey! Hey! The whole issue
is closed, Henri.
300
00:13:27,426 --> 00:13:28,860
I'm not taking the bet.
301
00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:31,145
Oh, very well, I give up.
302
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:33,614
I won't bother you again.
303
00:13:33,649 --> 00:13:37,151
After all, what can I expect
from an American?
304
00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:39,737
You are all fat, lazy,
305
00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:41,072
stupid.
306
00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:44,325
All you want to do is watch TV,
eat fast food
307
00:13:44,359 --> 00:13:46,411
while your easy women
are scooped up
308
00:13:46,445 --> 00:13:48,963
by handsome foreigners
like myself.
309
00:13:48,997 --> 00:13:51,833
That tears it!
310
00:13:51,867 --> 00:13:54,668
You've just drawn blood
on the US of A, pal!
311
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:58,089
Cliff, calm down.
Calm down, nothing!
312
00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:00,675
Sammy might be missing
in action,
313
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,643
but on behalf of
this great nation,
314
00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:04,311
I'm gonna go out there
315
00:14:04,312 --> 00:14:05,796
and collect more
telephone numbers
316
00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:07,414
than that sleazy Frenchman!
317
00:14:09,301 --> 00:14:11,569
What about it, men?
Are you with me?
318
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,154
You know,
I'm usually afraid of girls,
319
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:16,824
but it's for America!
320
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:19,527
Me, too!
321
00:14:19,528 --> 00:14:20,461
Then let's go!!
322
00:14:20,462 --> 00:14:22,697
Hey, fellows, fellows, fellows!
323
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:25,232
All right, please,
take your seats.
324
00:14:27,486 --> 00:14:30,705
Okay, Henri, you're on.
325
00:14:32,157 --> 00:14:33,641
Carla, get the babe kit.
326
00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:39,630
Not the babe kit!
Sam, are you sure?!
327
00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:40,932
Yeah.
328
00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:43,134
Oh, but, Sammy, he's just a kid!
329
00:14:43,168 --> 00:14:44,668
He didn't know!
330
00:14:47,589 --> 00:14:50,224
Maybe it's time
he grew up, Carla.
331
00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:52,927
Oh, but Sammy,
you told me never to get the babe kit!
332
00:14:55,113 --> 00:15:00,551
Henri, you shouldn't have
brought America into this.
333
00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:04,304
Ooh! The babe kit!
334
00:15:04,339 --> 00:15:05,656
I'm shaking!
335
00:15:07,442 --> 00:15:10,828
What is this babe kit?
336
00:15:10,862 --> 00:15:11,995
Tell me.
337
00:15:13,131 --> 00:15:14,749
Tell me!
338
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:19,470
Scaredy-cat, scaredy-
cat, scaredy-cat, scaredy-cat!
339
00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,255
Okay, Carla, I'm ready.
340
00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:23,457
Bring in the kit.
341
00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:32,299
Before you open this thing,
342
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,434
I want you to know
this is a one-shot deal,
343
00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:35,603
tonight only.
344
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:40,408
In this box
is the Sam Malone I used to be.
345
00:15:40,442 --> 00:15:43,544
Sammy, if you've outgrown
all this stuff,
346
00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:44,695
why do you keep it?
347
00:15:44,729 --> 00:15:48,415
I thought maybe one day
I'd have a son.
348
00:16:00,679 --> 00:16:04,265
Sam! Oh!
349
00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:06,634
Sam!
350
00:16:06,668 --> 00:16:09,402
The first edition of your
little black book.
351
00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:11,905
Yeah. Oh!
352
00:16:13,742 --> 00:16:16,276
Your Members Only jacket!
353
00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:24,151
Oh, Sammy, a picture
of you and Elvis!
354
00:16:24,186 --> 00:16:26,320
Yeah, yeah.
The chicks really love that.
355
00:16:27,823 --> 00:16:29,456
What kind of cologne is that?
356
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,458
It's a special blend;
357
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:35,362
Old Spice, Hai Karate
and something that takes spots out.
358
00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:37,764
I'm not really sure.
359
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:40,301
Well, I'll leave you to prepare.
360
00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:41,385
Yeah.
361
00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:50,544
Every time I think I'm out,
they pull me back in!
362
00:17:00,588 --> 00:17:03,857
So, I wanted to be an artist.
363
00:17:03,891 --> 00:17:06,794
The old man wouldn't have it.
364
00:17:06,828 --> 00:17:08,529
Off to medical school.
365
00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:11,332
I could never please him.
366
00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,835
Aw. Not you, with all
the important work you do?
367
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:20,140
Well, it was never enough.
368
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,178
You poor, poor man.
369
00:17:24,212 --> 00:17:25,579
Mm.
370
00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:27,548
Oh, watch it.
Don't get ashes on my diploma.
371
00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:28,599
Oh.
372
00:17:35,006 --> 00:17:36,857
Hey, guys!
373
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:38,643
Hey. All right, Fras.
374
00:17:38,644 --> 00:17:40,411
Say what's the, uh,
tote board for?
375
00:17:40,412 --> 00:17:42,346
I thought Sam wasn't gonna take
that bet.
376
00:17:42,347 --> 00:17:43,563
Well, he wasn't,
377
00:17:43,598 --> 00:17:46,333
but then Henri turned it
into a big grudge match...
378
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,568
France versus the USA.
379
00:17:48,603 --> 00:17:51,155
At the last hour,
Sam stepped in for our side.
380
00:17:51,189 --> 00:17:52,406
Damn, and I missed it!
381
00:17:52,441 --> 00:17:54,241
I was home teaching
my kid to read!
382
00:17:54,276 --> 00:17:56,010
I could kick myself!
383
00:17:58,029 --> 00:17:59,780
Thanks a lot, sweetheart.
384
00:17:59,781 --> 00:18:01,382
I-I'll give you a
call next week.
385
00:18:01,383 --> 00:18:03,417
You know, I think
the two of us could be
386
00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:04,651
very special together, Michelle!
387
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:07,021
Or should I say,
uh, number eight? Yeah!
388
00:18:08,123 --> 00:18:11,309
USA! USA! USA! USA!
389
00:18:11,343 --> 00:18:12,426
Wait-wait-wait.
390
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,829
Oh, my God! Is it really you?
391
00:18:14,863 --> 00:18:16,731
Uh, yeah.
392
00:18:16,765 --> 00:18:18,165
Hi. How long has it been?
393
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:20,467
Oh I love what you did
with your hair! It's great!
394
00:18:20,468 --> 00:18:21,602
Thank you.
395
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:23,387
Are you still going
with, uh... Oh, shoot.
396
00:18:23,388 --> 00:18:24,739
Steve? Yeah. Steve, right.
397
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:26,073
No, no,
398
00:18:26,074 --> 00:18:28,542
apparently, he wasn't ready
to make a commitment.
399
00:18:28,543 --> 00:18:29,910
Is that Steve or what?
400
00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:32,312
That's right.
401
00:18:32,313 --> 00:18:33,480
God, you look wonderful!
402
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,750
Hey, give me a hug.
It's great to see you.
403
00:18:35,784 --> 00:18:37,368
Great to see you.
404
00:18:37,369 --> 00:18:38,703
Wait, this is crazy!
This is crazy!
405
00:18:38,704 --> 00:18:40,237
Here, look, give me your number.
406
00:18:40,238 --> 00:18:42,623
I don't want to lose
touch with you again.
407
00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:46,961
You know, I really meant
to call you a couple of times.
408
00:18:46,962 --> 00:18:47,995
Here.
409
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,296
Well, shame on you for not.
410
00:18:49,297 --> 00:18:51,932
Give me another hug.
411
00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:52,866
All right.
412
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:55,636
Bye. Bye-bye. See you later.
413
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:56,854
Sammy, who was that?
414
00:18:56,888 --> 00:19:00,641
How the hell should I know?
415
00:19:00,675 --> 00:19:03,361
USA! USA! USA!
416
00:19:03,395 --> 00:19:05,796
So how many orphans
did you save?
417
00:19:05,831 --> 00:19:11,301
Oh, 15, 16 if you include
their little puppy.
418
00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:13,838
You went back in
to save a puppy?
419
00:19:13,872 --> 00:19:15,639
Well, he was an orphan, too.
420
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,625
Oh!
421
00:19:17,659 --> 00:19:19,377
- My card.
- Oh, thank you.
422
00:19:19,378 --> 00:19:20,944
Uh, could you push
that down for me?
423
00:19:20,945 --> 00:19:22,279
Oh, sure.
424
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,755
How am I doing, Carla?
425
00:19:30,789 --> 00:19:33,641
Well, it's all tied up
with, uh, two minutes left.
426
00:19:33,675 --> 00:19:34,774
No sweat.
427
00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:36,243
Oh, that's what I like to hear.
428
00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:38,429
The old Sammy's back!
429
00:19:38,463 --> 00:19:40,231
Oh!
430
00:19:40,232 --> 00:19:41,231
I can't believe it!
431
00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:45,069
Excuse me, miss, have you seen
a, an Olympic gold medal
432
00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:47,905
from the decathlon?
433
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:49,089
I hate to lose it.
434
00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:51,158
It was part of a set.
435
00:19:51,159 --> 00:19:52,476
But I'll tell you something,
436
00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:56,530
I would give them all up
for a shot at your phone number.
437
00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:58,849
Look, I find you very amusing
438
00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:01,452
and, uh, I appreciate
all this flattery,
439
00:20:01,486 --> 00:20:04,371
but if this is just some bar
pick-up, I wish you wouldn't.
440
00:20:04,405 --> 00:20:06,757
I'm just coming off
a bad relationship
441
00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:09,376
and I'm very vulnerable
right now.
442
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:12,596
Oh, well, I'm, uh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.
443
00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:16,750
Uh, actually, I'm, I'm
not an Olympic athlete.
444
00:20:18,136 --> 00:20:19,520
Sam, hurry!
445
00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:23,823
Uh, I'm a secret agent.
446
00:20:23,858 --> 00:20:25,525
Uh... I'm sorry.
447
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:27,160
You were right the first time.
448
00:20:27,195 --> 00:20:28,428
It's a sleazy bar pick-up.
449
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:29,897
Yeah. Forgive me.
450
00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:32,900
It was very childish.
451
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:34,234
Good luck to you.
452
00:20:34,269 --> 00:20:35,703
Thanks. Yeah. Sorry.
453
00:20:37,989 --> 00:20:39,740
Aw, shoot.
454
00:20:39,774 --> 00:20:41,108
I guess Henri wins.
455
00:20:41,142 --> 00:20:43,744
I win! I win!
456
00:20:43,778 --> 00:20:46,497
France has won! France has won!
457
00:20:46,531 --> 00:20:48,432
There's something
you never hear.
458
00:20:53,254 --> 00:20:55,255
Well, Henri, you won
fair and square.
459
00:20:55,289 --> 00:20:56,507
Congratulations.
460
00:20:56,541 --> 00:20:59,592
Yes, I did, Sam,
and on behalf of Frenchmen everywhere,
461
00:20:59,627 --> 00:21:01,728
let me just say...
462
00:21:02,964 --> 00:21:06,033
Well, thank you.
How very gracious of you.
463
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:08,936
Shame on you, Sam. Shame on you!
464
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,603
You threw back the tying babe
465
00:21:10,638 --> 00:21:13,440
just because she was vulnerable.
466
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:16,443
The old Sammy would have kept on
pushing till he got the number.
467
00:21:16,444 --> 00:21:18,695
Well, maybe I'm just
not the old Sammy anymore.
468
00:21:18,696 --> 00:21:19,997
No, I guess you're not.
469
00:21:20,031 --> 00:21:21,415
Uh, excuse me.
470
00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:22,582
Yeah?
471
00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:24,835
Listen, I just wanted
to tell you that
472
00:21:24,836 --> 00:21:26,536
I, uh, appreciate you being
such a gentleman back there.
473
00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:27,571
Oh, well...
474
00:21:27,572 --> 00:21:30,090
You know, I don't meet
many men who are like that.
475
00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:31,791
You're welcome. You're welcome.
476
00:21:31,826 --> 00:21:34,594
Good luck to you.
477
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:36,663
Hey, what are you doing
later on tonight?
478
00:21:36,664 --> 00:21:40,434
Uh, I thought you wanted
to be alone.
479
00:21:40,435 --> 00:21:42,135
What about all that
vulnerable stuff?
480
00:21:42,136 --> 00:21:43,971
Oh, that was just a line I use
481
00:21:44,005 --> 00:21:46,340
to find out
what kind of man I'm dealing with.
482
00:21:46,374 --> 00:21:49,977
Good for you!
483
00:21:49,978 --> 00:21:51,644
Hey, you guys, you
have to meet this guy.
484
00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:53,046
He is such a gentleman.
485
00:21:53,081 --> 00:21:54,481
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
486
00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:56,049
Oh, yeah, and he's cute too.
487
00:21:56,084 --> 00:21:57,318
Oh.
488
00:21:57,319 --> 00:21:58,619
Listen, we're gonna go out.
489
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:00,070
Do you want to come along?
490
00:22:00,104 --> 00:22:02,239
It's a lot more fun with four.
491
00:22:02,273 --> 00:22:03,907
Yeah.
492
00:22:03,908 --> 00:22:06,026
Look, there's one thing
that you should know.
493
00:22:06,027 --> 00:22:10,047
We do everything together.
494
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,715
Everything?
495
00:22:13,635 --> 00:22:15,002
Everything.
496
00:22:15,036 --> 00:22:16,870
Yeah. Well!
497
00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:18,939
Ladies, ladies.
498
00:22:18,973 --> 00:22:23,260
Uh, Carla, uh, would you close
the bar for me?
499
00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:26,180
Uh, oh, Henri, uh,
congratulations on that, uh,
500
00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:28,482
that, uh, phone number
thing we were doing.
501
00:22:29,984 --> 00:22:31,184
Okay, ladies,
502
00:22:31,218 --> 00:22:34,071
right foot!
503
00:22:36,257 --> 00:22:38,025
USA! USA!
504
00:22:38,059 --> 00:22:39,759
USA!
35119
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