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1
00:00:01,529 --> 00:00:03,980
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,951 --> 00:00:08,868
Hey, Sammy.
3
00:00:08,936 --> 00:00:10,386
Hey, Tim!
4
00:00:10,454 --> 00:00:12,054
I just heard the news.
5
00:00:12,122 --> 00:00:13,723
You had a fire? Yeah.
6
00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:15,224
A couple weeks ago.
7
00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:16,325
Gee, the place looks great.
8
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:17,376
Yeah, thanks a lot.
9
00:00:17,377 --> 00:00:18,678
We've been working pretty hard.
10
00:00:18,679 --> 00:00:20,614
We've got our grand reopening
tonight.
11
00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:22,164
So how'd the fire start?
12
00:00:22,232 --> 00:00:23,766
Oh, yeah, glad you asked.
13
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:25,201
Sit down. Right there.
14
00:00:25,269 --> 00:00:26,686
Right there, yeah.
15
00:00:28,806 --> 00:00:30,740
Rebecca!
16
00:00:30,808 --> 00:00:32,742
Right over there.
17
00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:36,346
I burned down the bar
18
00:00:36,414 --> 00:00:38,284
with a carelessly
tossed cigarette.
19
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,368
It was a stupid thing to do
20
00:00:41,436 --> 00:00:44,237
and I will be paying for it
for the rest of my life.
21
00:00:50,594 --> 00:00:52,262
Hey, Sammy,
22
00:00:52,263 --> 00:00:53,629
you did a great job
on the rebuilding.
23
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,031
The place looks
a million times better
24
00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:56,382
- than it did before.
- Yeah.
25
00:00:56,383 --> 00:00:57,701
Thanks, Paul. Uh, Sammy,
26
00:00:57,768 --> 00:00:59,536
uh, Paul told me all
about the fire.
27
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:00,704
Gee, that's tough, man.
28
00:01:00,705 --> 00:01:01,705
Oh, yeah, thank you.
29
00:01:01,706 --> 00:01:03,105
Oh, you want to hear
how it started?
30
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,407
Yeah, sure. Yeah! Great, great.
31
00:01:04,408 --> 00:01:06,293
Sit down right over there.
32
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,295
Rebecca!
33
00:01:08,362 --> 00:01:10,472
Right over there
in the sweater-go ahead.
34
00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:15,635
I burned down the bar
with a carelessly tossed cigarette.
35
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:17,219
It was a stupid thing to do
36
00:01:17,287 --> 00:01:19,922
and I will be paying for it
for the rest of my life.
37
00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:29,715
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
38
00:01:29,783 --> 00:01:32,936
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
39
00:01:33,004 --> 00:01:35,605
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
40
00:01:35,673 --> 00:01:39,075
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
41
00:01:39,143 --> 00:01:43,013
♪ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ♪
42
00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:46,499
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
43
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:51,004
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
44
00:01:52,306 --> 00:01:56,909
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
45
00:01:56,977 --> 00:01:59,179
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
46
00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:01,748
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
47
00:02:01,815 --> 00:02:06,085
♪ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ♪
48
00:02:07,288 --> 00:02:09,222
♪ You wanna go
where people know ♪
49
00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:12,459
♪ People are all the same ♪
50
00:02:12,527 --> 00:02:17,096
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
51
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,364
♪ ♪
52
00:02:35,204 --> 00:02:36,505
Afternoon, everybody.
53
00:02:36,572 --> 00:02:38,306
Norm!
54
00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:39,224
Hey, Norm.
55
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,625
Gettin' ready
for the big opening.
56
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:42,511
It's right here, Sammy.
57
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:45,514
Start pouring beer
in it anytime.
58
00:02:45,581 --> 00:02:48,851
Listen, I guess we have
to start a new tab, huh?
59
00:02:48,852 --> 00:02:50,452
It's too bad
we lost my old bar tab
60
00:02:50,453 --> 00:02:51,553
in the fire. Oh.
61
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:57,342
Actually, I-I had it
in the safe.
62
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,861
You did? Mm-hmm.
63
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,095
Why?
64
00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:01,563
Well, to tell the truth,
65
00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:03,766
it's kind of my most
valuable asset.
66
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:09,254
I like to think of it as my-my
retirement plan, you know.
67
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,556
I figure, one of these days,
you'll start paying
68
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:14,392
and I can start thinking
about retiring.
69
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,179
Yeah, well, um, I'd
make other plans.
70
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,753
Phone company.
71
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,520
Looking for a Rebecca Howe.
72
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:26,638
That's me.
73
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,025
Well, hello!
74
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:34,397
The name's Bernard.
75
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,266
If I'd known you were
such a foxy lady...
76
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,369
I would have worn
my clean pants.
77
00:03:45,374 --> 00:03:47,926
Bernard, we need you
to get the phones working.
78
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,144
The one here in the bar
79
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,779
and one back in the office and
the pay phone over there.
80
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:53,014
We haven't had phone service
in two weeks.
81
00:03:53,082 --> 00:03:54,800
Relax, pretty lady.
82
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,102
I'll give you service. Good.
83
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,204
Get it?
84
00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:04,943
So much for foreplay.
85
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,463
Just fix the phones!
86
00:04:09,665 --> 00:04:10,766
Hey, huh?
87
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,403
You still got it with the guys!
88
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,441
Look at this place, huh?
89
00:04:18,442 --> 00:04:20,509
Can't wait to see how surprised
Carla's gonna be
90
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,010
when she sees how much work
we've done
91
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,311
in the last couple of weeks.
92
00:04:23,312 --> 00:04:24,913
Say, where is Carla, anyway?
93
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:26,331
Oh, she, uh,
took a temporary job
94
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,600
over in that new bar
in Boylston, you know,
95
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,702
"Mr. Pubb's" - one
of those chains.
96
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,938
She'll be here for the
grand opening, though.
97
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,823
Yeah, well, I, for one,
don't miss her...
98
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:37,760
that little foul-mouthed,
fright -wigged rodent.
99
00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:39,762
Hi, Carla.
100
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,019
Hi, guys.
101
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,804
Woody, what are you doing
back here?
102
00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:50,372
How come you're not
on your honeymoon?
103
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,423
Honeymoon?
104
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,691
Is that what you call it
105
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,426
when two people lock
themselves in a room
106
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,012
and refuse to speak
or even look at each other?
107
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,415
No, Wood, that's marriage.
108
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,801
Hey, what happened?
109
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:06,755
Well, Kelly and I found out
we're from different religions.
110
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:09,107
I thought you and Kelly were
both Lutheran.
111
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,327
Oh, well, that's what I thought.
112
00:05:11,328 --> 00:05:12,528
It turns out she's Lutheran
113
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:13,612
Church of America,
114
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,715
I'm Lutheran Church
of Missouri Synod.
115
00:05:16,782 --> 00:05:19,017
What if we had children,
116
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,819
we'd have half-breeds.
117
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:25,073
Woody, very often these
problems can be resolved
118
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,343
by, uh, a group session.
119
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,728
Oh, no, I don't think so,
Doctor Crane.
120
00:05:29,795 --> 00:05:32,998
The sight of Kelly with another
man would drive me crazy.
121
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,817
No, no, Frasier's talking
about counselling, Woody.
122
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:37,770
You are, aren't you?
123
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,705
Counselling! Yes!
124
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,190
See?
125
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:44,193
Perhaps Lilith and I could
provide some help.
126
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:47,196
Oh, that's nice, Doctor Crane.
127
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,697
I'll-I'll ask Kelly.
128
00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:51,700
If she's not too busy
begging at airports
129
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:54,970
or whatever those people do.
130
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,341
I'll be finished
in about an hour.
131
00:05:59,408 --> 00:06:01,543
Tell me something.
132
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,113
You ever seen the ceiling
of a phone truck?
133
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:08,601
Listen, buster.
134
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,269
You get my phones working
135
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,605
or I'll come down on you
with a sexual harassment suit
136
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,206
that'll make your head spin...
137
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,209
that is if there's a neck
in there somewhere!
138
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,411
All right! All right!
139
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,846
Phew!
140
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,981
Your service'll be back on
in a couple of hours!
141
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,416
Phew!
142
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,084
Lesbian, huh?
143
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:32,557
You'd be surprised how many
of those I run into in a day.
144
00:06:34,944 --> 00:06:36,829
Who put a quarter in this bar
145
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,831
that I just finished varnishing?
146
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,465
I did.
147
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,467
Go ahead, try to pick it up.
148
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,503
Well, I can't.
149
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,570
It's stuck in the varnish.
150
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,738
That's right, right!
151
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,775
You can't pick it up
no matter how hard you try!
152
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,243
Why don't you guys
153
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,961
just go away and come back
tonight for the reopening.
154
00:06:53,962 --> 00:06:54,663
This is the way you treat us?
155
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,847
We come in to help you,
156
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,516
and now you kick us out?
157
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,085
Two hours of putting
the Indian and the wooden lady
158
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,421
in dirty positions
is not helping.
159
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,273
Tell you, fellas, if you want...
160
00:07:04,274 --> 00:07:06,741
you want to help out why don't
you go over and get Carla.
161
00:07:06,742 --> 00:07:07,776
She's at the bar
162
00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:09,845
on Boylston-Mr. Pubb's, okay?
163
00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:11,129
Get her back here.
164
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,681
I want her an hour early.
165
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,182
We're gonna have that
ribbon-cutting ceremony. Sure thing, Sam.
166
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,484
Done.
167
00:07:15,552 --> 00:07:16,652
Say, Normie. Hey.
168
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,387
Want to stop on the
way for a sandwich?
169
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:19,888
It's three blocks over-Boylston?
170
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:21,323
No, no, no,
not to worry, Cliffy.
171
00:07:21,324 --> 00:07:23,592
I stuffed my pockets
with pretzels.
172
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,650
Something I learned
in the Boy Scouts...
173
00:07:25,651 --> 00:07:26,828
you've got to be prepared.
174
00:07:26,829 --> 00:07:28,464
Ah, you were in the
Boy Scouts, huh?
175
00:07:28,465 --> 00:07:29,965
Yeah, for about a week,
then I quit.
176
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:31,776
How come?
Well, there was some talk
177
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,769
about going on a hike.
178
00:07:41,177 --> 00:07:43,062
♪ ♪
179
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,271
Hi.
180
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:54,907
Welcome to Mr. Pubb's.
181
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,208
My name is Carla.
182
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,710
I'll be your server
for the evening.
183
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,545
What can I get you?
184
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,212
Give me a Scotch on the rocks.
185
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,315
An excellent choice, sir.
186
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:06,568
That's great, Carla!
187
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,070
That's the first time you did it
188
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,005
without the Mr. Pubb's Handbook!
189
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,174
Bite my pubb!
190
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,093
Well, Carla,
191
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,428
you've really come
a long way in the past two weeks.
192
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,529
Thank you, sir.
193
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,865
A Scotch on the rocks
for table 12.
194
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,500
Coming right up.
195
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,652
So's my lunch.
196
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,240
Boy, oh, boy!
197
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:31,410
This place have
enough neon or what?
198
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:34,212
Yeah, it looks like
the inside of a UFO in here.
199
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,114
No, actually, Norm,
200
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,116
they're quite different.
201
00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:44,823
I guess.
202
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,161
Welcome to Mr. Pubb's. Hey.
203
00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:47,910
Someone will be here
in a moment to help you, friends.
204
00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,244
Just need a couple beers,
that's all.
205
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:50,345
Oh, from which country?
206
00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,514
We have over 200 to choose from.
207
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:53,698
Well, what say, Cliffy?
208
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,300
Once around the world
and then home?
209
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,554
All right.
210
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,055
Yeah.
211
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,558
Oh, man, wow, look at this.
212
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,893
I mean, not only do they
have a video arcade
213
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,563
but they've got, uh,
ten big-screen TVs
214
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:08,963
right over there in the wall.
215
00:09:08,964 --> 00:09:11,866
Each one of them televising
a different game.
216
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:14,519
Boy, I-I-I bet your neck,
though, will get really sore
217
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,422
moving your head back and forth
from game to game.
218
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,558
Try just moving your eyes.
219
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,496
Hey!
220
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:25,763
Cool!
221
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,103
Well, well, well!
222
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,555
Where's your organ-grinder?
223
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,558
Right here.
224
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,629
I just mean, you know,
225
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:42,631
don't you feel kind of silly
in that outfit?
226
00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:44,502
Of course I feel silly
in this outfit.
227
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,218
I can't wait till my shift ends,
228
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,553
so I can get my pay-check
and head back to Cheers.
229
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,188
Carla, we have a birthday
at table four.
230
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,756
Ooh, a birthday!
231
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,159
Ooh, a birthday!
232
00:09:57,096 --> 00:10:00,032
If you guys, if you guys ever,
233
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,368
ever say one word about what
you are about to see me do,
234
00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:05,370
the last thing you'll see
235
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:08,373
is me takin' a bite out
of your still-beating hearts!
236
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:13,779
Ready?
237
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,446
One, two, three.
238
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:18,784
♪ A happy, happy birthday
from Mr. Pubb to you ♪
239
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,787
♪ A happy, happy birthday
from Mr. Pubb to you! ♪
240
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,488
Yay!
241
00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:30,195
Boy, poor Carla, huh?
242
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,664
I'd hate to have
a job like that.
243
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,700
Wearing a dorky uniform
244
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,868
out in the public all day.
245
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:42,057
There but for the grace of God,
Norm.
246
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,910
Okay, overstuffed potato skins.
247
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,912
Hey, we didn't make fun of you.
248
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,914
No.
249
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:49,981
These! These!
250
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:50,982
It's happy hour.
251
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,250
They're complimentary.
252
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:53,351
Ooh. Ooh. Yeah.
253
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,786
What are you guys doing here
anyway?
254
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,021
Sammy asked us to come by
255
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,889
to make sure you stopped
by Cheers early.
256
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,958
I'll tell you, I can't wait
to get out of this hell-hole.
257
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,059
Carla,
258
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,393
could I see you a minute please?
259
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,313
Yes, sir.
260
00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:09,284
Here's your pay-check
for the past two weeks.
261
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:11,586
You had a rocky start, but,
at the rate you're improving,
262
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,221
I think you might
just be up for a promotion
263
00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:14,489
in the next month or so.
264
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:15,774
Seriously? Here at Mr. Pubb's,
265
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,943
we believe in promoting
from within.
266
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,963
Wow!
267
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,263
I see you noticed our
268
00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,867
Mr. Pubb's satisfied
customer bonus.
269
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:28,303
I never had a satisfied
customer bonus before.
270
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:31,639
Come to think of it, I never
had a satisfied customer before.
271
00:11:32,173 --> 00:11:34,693
By the way, Carla, can you work
272
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,927
an extra couple hours tonight?
273
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,028
We're a little short-handed.
274
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,329
You bet I can.
275
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,081
That's the Mr. Pubb's spirit,
Carla.
276
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,284
Hey, listen, guys.
277
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:44,836
Something just came up. Hmm.
278
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,194
Uh, you're gonna have
to tell Sammy that, uh,
279
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,041
I'm gonna be late tonight.
What?!
280
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,476
Hey, come on, it's
Sammy's big opening night.
281
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,054
You're gonna break his heart.
282
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:55,047
Just tell him
I'll explain later.
283
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,550
Oh, that's amazing, Norm.
284
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,118
Carla's not gonna show up there
285
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,653
for Sammy's grand reopening.
286
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,589
Well, let's go back and, uh,
287
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,958
break the news
to him, I guess. Yeah.
288
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,225
Wahba, wahba, wahba, everybody.
289
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,260
It's luau night
here at Mr. Pubb's,
290
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,780
complete with complimentary
pupu platters.
291
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,178
We're not going back
to Cheers, are we, Cliff?
292
00:12:28,864 --> 00:12:30,532
No, we are not.
293
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:45,944
Hey, fellas,
look what I've got here.
294
00:12:45,945 --> 00:12:46,995
What's that?
295
00:12:46,996 --> 00:12:48,613
You know the bar
business is getting
296
00:12:48,614 --> 00:12:49,781
more and more competitive.
297
00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:51,049
And I've been wracking my brains
298
00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:52,417
trying to figure out
how I can compete.
299
00:12:52,418 --> 00:12:54,018
I think I've finally
got the answer.
300
00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:55,720
A toaster oven? Yeah.
301
00:12:55,721 --> 00:12:57,139
See what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna put
302
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,974
some saltines in here, melt some
303
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:01,026
American cheese on top.
304
00:13:01,094 --> 00:13:02,694
Serve them to the customers,
305
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:04,696
buck a plate maybe.
306
00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:08,349
Well, there goes
my last reason for staying home.
307
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:11,286
Sam, you'd better
get started on those.
308
00:13:11,287 --> 00:13:13,155
The grand reopening
is in less than an hour.
309
00:13:13,156 --> 00:13:14,857
Whoa, you're kidding me.
310
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:18,843
Where the hell are
Carla and the other guys?
311
00:13:18,844 --> 00:13:20,612
Hey, do me a favour,
will you fellas?
312
00:13:20,613 --> 00:13:22,514
Will you go over to that,
uh, Mr. Pubb's place
313
00:13:22,515 --> 00:13:24,800
and, uh, bring 'em
all back please?
314
00:13:24,801 --> 00:13:26,217
Oh, I don't know, Sammy.
Oh, come on.
315
00:13:26,218 --> 00:13:27,319
It really is kind of far, Sam.
316
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,620
Yeah, let them come
back on their own.
317
00:13:28,621 --> 00:13:29,821
All right, all right, all right,
318
00:13:29,822 --> 00:13:32,524
a complimentary plate
of cracker snacks in it for you.
319
00:13:32,525 --> 00:13:33,758
What do you say?
320
00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:39,548
Each?
321
00:13:39,615 --> 00:13:41,316
All right, all right, all right.
322
00:13:41,384 --> 00:13:42,718
You drive a hard bargain.
323
00:13:42,786 --> 00:13:44,386
Get out of here.
324
00:13:45,287 --> 00:13:46,771
Hi, everyone.
325
00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:50,058
Kelly, I admire you for coming.
326
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:52,711
Well, I believe a marriage
is worth saving.
327
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,112
Well, that's not
all she believes.
328
00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:56,014
Ask her why she believes
the Book of Concord
329
00:13:56,015 --> 00:13:57,615
and the Scriptures are
on the same level.
330
00:13:57,616 --> 00:13:58,666
Go ahead, ask her.
331
00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:00,002
Because they're not.
332
00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:02,771
Ask her why the sacraments
333
00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,273
are considered
vehicles of grace.
334
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,340
Go ahead, I dare you.
335
00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:07,141
They're symbolic memorials.
336
00:14:07,209 --> 00:14:08,860
Heretic!
337
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,979
Now, now...
338
00:14:11,046 --> 00:14:13,582
You two...
339
00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:16,585
Perhaps a page from Frasier's
and my personal history
340
00:14:16,652 --> 00:14:18,987
will calm the waters.
341
00:14:19,054 --> 00:14:21,990
Woody, Kelly.
342
00:14:22,057 --> 00:14:25,326
I am Jewish
and Frasier is Episcopalian.
343
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:26,878
Now originally, we feared
344
00:14:26,946 --> 00:14:29,180
this might cause
conflict in our marriage.
345
00:14:29,248 --> 00:14:31,066
But then we learned
to compromise,
346
00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:33,468
even in the raising
of our son, Frederick.
347
00:14:33,535 --> 00:14:35,103
We make sure he experiences
348
00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,706
both sides of his
religious heritage.
349
00:14:37,774 --> 00:14:39,924
As usual, my darling
wife is right.
350
00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:44,062
Frederick goes to synagogue
every Friday night.
351
00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:47,465
He delights in hiding
matzos at Passover.
352
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:50,702
The family celebrates Hanukkah.
353
00:14:50,770 --> 00:14:53,255
Meanwhile,
Christmas comes and goes
354
00:14:53,322 --> 00:14:55,590
without so much as a tree.
355
00:14:55,658 --> 00:14:57,909
Odd, really, because
356
00:14:57,910 --> 00:15:00,111
a Christmas tree isn't even
symbolic of Christianity.
357
00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:03,214
But apparently it threatens
Lilith's Jewish faith.
358
00:15:03,282 --> 00:15:04,362
Look out, everybody!
359
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:06,517
A fir tree!
360
00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:09,487
5,000-year-old religion,
361
00:15:09,488 --> 00:15:10,956
and Frasier Crane's
going to bring it down
362
00:15:10,957 --> 00:15:13,892
with a four-foot tree
and some tinsel!
363
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,176
Excuse me.
364
00:15:15,244 --> 00:15:18,463
I'm just not sure
how this applies to us.
365
00:15:18,531 --> 00:15:19,898
Your religious
366
00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:22,784
differences are extremely
inconsequential.
367
00:15:22,852 --> 00:15:25,220
One is reminded
of Gulliver's Travels
368
00:15:25,288 --> 00:15:26,888
in which two countries warred
369
00:15:26,956 --> 00:15:29,124
over which side
of an egg gets cracked:
370
00:15:29,192 --> 00:15:31,293
The narrow end
or the rounded end.
371
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:32,828
Well, that's ridiculous.
372
00:15:32,895 --> 00:15:34,465
Of course it's the rounded end.
373
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:37,598
Oh, Kelly, I don't even
know who you are anymore!
374
00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:45,590
Sam, give me two beers
and a scotch on the rocks.
375
00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:47,426
I don't get it.
376
00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:49,428
Cheers is opening again
377
00:15:49,429 --> 00:15:51,129
and none of my close
friends are here.
378
00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:52,263
That's because you've
sent everybody
379
00:15:52,264 --> 00:15:54,032
over to Mr. Pubb's to get Carla,
380
00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:56,301
who, by the way,
is two hours late.
381
00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:57,903
You know what this
reminds me of?
382
00:15:57,904 --> 00:15:59,538
It reminds me
of that spooky movie,
383
00:15:59,539 --> 00:16:01,807
where those people
keep going into the barn
384
00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:04,175
and then they disappear.
385
00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:05,683
And so they send other people
386
00:16:05,712 --> 00:16:07,479
to go in there
and they disappear.
387
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,480
And then, still others
388
00:16:08,481 --> 00:16:10,649
go in the barn
and they disappear.
389
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:11,984
And then they
find out that there's
390
00:16:11,985 --> 00:16:14,352
a psycho killer in there
stabbing everybody.
391
00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:16,187
What was the name of that movie?
392
00:16:16,255 --> 00:16:17,589
Don't Go In The Barn.
393
00:16:23,228 --> 00:16:25,547
This is crazy.
394
00:16:25,548 --> 00:16:27,883
I'm going over there right now
and bring them back.
395
00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,394
Hold down the fort, will you?
396
00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:31,136
Okay.
397
00:16:34,574 --> 00:16:36,841
Congratulations
on your reopening.
398
00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:40,328
Trust me,
399
00:16:40,396 --> 00:16:42,898
one Lambada with Bernard,
400
00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:45,233
and you'll never
look at another woman.
401
00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:49,604
You don't get it, do you?
402
00:16:49,671 --> 00:16:51,940
We're born this way.
403
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,180
Wow.
404
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:05,269
All these big-screen TVs getting
405
00:17:05,337 --> 00:17:07,387
satellite feeds from
all over the world.
406
00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:10,475
Yeah, well, Normie,
it is the information age.
407
00:17:10,543 --> 00:17:13,478
We can receive
up-to-the-minute stock prices,
408
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:15,079
medical breakthroughs,
409
00:17:15,147 --> 00:17:18,216
political upheavals
from all around the globe.
410
00:17:18,283 --> 00:17:19,484
Of course we'd, uh,
411
00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:21,786
have to turn off
the cartoons first.
412
00:17:23,156 --> 00:17:25,490
Oh, there you are! Hey, fellas!
413
00:17:25,558 --> 00:17:27,759
Hey, Sammy!
414
00:17:27,826 --> 00:17:29,427
What are you doing here?
415
00:17:29,428 --> 00:17:31,062
You're missing,
you know, the opening.
416
00:17:31,063 --> 00:17:32,230
What, it's that late already?
417
00:17:32,231 --> 00:17:33,501
Is it that late already?
418
00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:35,433
You telling me
you just been playing,
419
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:36,901
playing games around here
420
00:17:36,969 --> 00:17:39,571
and watch, watching the TVs?
421
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:42,774
Sam we got caught up
in them, you know?
422
00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:45,243
Yeah, hey, Sammy, is
this place great or what, huh?
423
00:17:45,244 --> 00:17:47,512
Yeah, but so is a little
place called Cheers.
424
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:48,946
Or have you forgotten?
425
00:17:48,947 --> 00:17:50,715
Did you tell them
about the cracker snacks?
426
00:17:50,716 --> 00:17:52,250
I'm talking about
American cheese
427
00:17:52,251 --> 00:17:54,085
on top of some saltines
and everything.
428
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:55,520
Maybe 50 cents a plate.
429
00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:57,255
Can't beat that, huh?
430
00:17:57,322 --> 00:17:59,040
Excuse me! Hi!
431
00:17:59,108 --> 00:18:01,576
Happy hour ribs, complimentary.
432
00:18:03,596 --> 00:18:05,764
You, uh, you were saying, Sammy?
433
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,117
Never mind. Never mind.
434
00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:12,570
Carla, hey, what're you doing?
435
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:13,838
How come you're
still in uniform?
436
00:18:13,839 --> 00:18:14,940
You're supposed to be at Cheers.
437
00:18:14,941 --> 00:18:17,008
Oh. I'm not going back, Sammy.
438
00:18:17,076 --> 00:18:18,860
What do you mean?
Well, I want to.
439
00:18:18,861 --> 00:18:21,480
I really do, but they're
paying me too much money here.
440
00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:22,714
I can't give it up.
441
00:18:22,782 --> 00:18:25,100
What are you saying?
442
00:18:25,201 --> 00:18:26,901
Are you saying you're quitting?
443
00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:29,371
Well, when were you
gonna tell me? Never?
444
00:18:29,438 --> 00:18:31,806
I tried to call you,
but I couldn't get through.
445
00:18:31,807 --> 00:18:33,741
And then I asked
the guys to tell you,
446
00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,443
but none of them ever went back.
447
00:18:35,444 --> 00:18:37,362
Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait-
this is crazy.
448
00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:40,031
You and I have been working
together for 14 years.
449
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,366
Sammy, can't you be
happy for me?
450
00:18:42,402 --> 00:18:45,236
I mean, I've found a job
that pays me a lot of money.
451
00:18:45,304 --> 00:18:46,444
Fine, all right, fine!
452
00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:48,123
I'll tell you something,
you want to quit,
453
00:18:48,124 --> 00:18:50,054
you have the courtesy
to come to my bar
454
00:18:50,055 --> 00:18:51,126
and tell me face-to-face.
455
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:52,207
And until you do that,
456
00:18:52,227 --> 00:18:54,295
I consider you still
employed at Cheers.
457
00:18:54,363 --> 00:18:55,429
Okay, fine!
458
00:18:55,497 --> 00:18:57,532
I'll stop by to quit
as soon as I'm off.
459
00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:59,400
Yeah, you do that! Okay, I will!
460
00:18:59,468 --> 00:19:01,019
Yeah, fine! Fine!
461
00:19:01,087 --> 00:19:03,354
Yeah, "fine" back!
462
00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:06,257
Hey, fellas, enjoy the ribs!
463
00:19:11,514 --> 00:19:14,282
You know, uh, American cheese
464
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,018
is one of the world's
finest cheeses.
465
00:19:18,036 --> 00:19:19,871
Melted on a saltine, that's a...
466
00:19:19,939 --> 00:19:22,173
that's a party in your mouth.
467
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,492
Anybody feel like
maybe we should, uh,
468
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,826
walk on back to Cheers?
469
00:19:25,894 --> 00:19:27,512
Yeah, let's do that, huh?
470
00:19:29,532 --> 00:19:31,222
Okay.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
471
00:19:31,283 --> 00:19:32,550
Boys, be prepared.
472
00:19:39,025 --> 00:19:41,559
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Carla,
473
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:42,927
let me get this straight.
474
00:19:42,928 --> 00:19:44,645
You're really not
going back to Cheers?
475
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:46,448
I know it's a lousy job, Norm,
476
00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:48,784
but for the amount of money
they're throwing at me,
477
00:19:48,785 --> 00:19:50,285
it's nothing I can't take.
478
00:19:52,355 --> 00:19:56,157
Carla, uh, I'm gonna put
a new trainee with you
479
00:19:56,225 --> 00:19:57,305
for the next two weeks.
480
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:58,493
She's a bright girl.
481
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,829
She's, uh, an anthropology
student at B.U.
482
00:20:01,898 --> 00:20:03,831
Ellen!
483
00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,668
Ellen, come meet Carla.
484
00:20:07,736 --> 00:20:11,273
Well, you must be Carla.
485
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,058
I know what you're thinking:
486
00:20:14,126 --> 00:20:17,712
"She doesn't
look like a waitress."
487
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:19,064
That's because
488
00:20:19,131 --> 00:20:21,483
I'm really a writer.
489
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:26,488
Or actuellement, a poetess.
490
00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:38,416
Well, Mr. Missouri Synod,
491
00:20:38,484 --> 00:20:40,051
you demanded to see me?
492
00:20:40,118 --> 00:20:42,887
Yeah, Kelly, uh, would you
please sit down here?
493
00:20:42,955 --> 00:20:44,889
Something very
important to tell you.
494
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:50,362
Listen, uh, what's gone
on these last few days
495
00:20:50,429 --> 00:20:53,164
has affected me very deeply.
496
00:20:53,232 --> 00:20:55,133
I love you, Kelly.
497
00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:57,035
That's why...
498
00:20:57,103 --> 00:20:59,087
I'm now a member
of The Evangelical
499
00:20:59,155 --> 00:21:01,325
Lutheran Church
of America, just like you.
500
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,391
Oh, Woody!
501
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:06,461
You've saved our marriage!
502
00:21:06,529 --> 00:21:09,714
What a wonderful sacrifice.
503
00:21:09,782 --> 00:21:11,515
Now when we die
and go to heaven,
504
00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:15,453
we won't be separated
by barbed wire and barking dogs.
505
00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:21,025
What was it exactly
that saved you, Woody?
506
00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:23,244
Well, something Dr. Crane said.
507
00:21:23,312 --> 00:21:24,779
That thing about how
508
00:21:24,847 --> 00:21:26,998
true love can overcome
all differences?
509
00:21:27,066 --> 00:21:29,200
Not exactly.
510
00:21:29,268 --> 00:21:31,303
Uh, he took me aside
and said I'd better
511
00:21:31,304 --> 00:21:32,603
get used to giving in to you
512
00:21:32,604 --> 00:21:34,205
on every point for
the rest of our lives
513
00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:36,607
if I ever wanted to see
you naked again.
514
00:21:38,928 --> 00:21:42,247
Well, he is a Ph.D., you know.
515
00:21:42,315 --> 00:21:44,182
Yes, dear.
516
00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,484
Shall we resume our honeymoon?
517
00:21:46,551 --> 00:21:48,069
Yes, dear.
518
00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:52,223
Woody, today you are a man.
519
00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:54,108
Yes, dear.
520
00:21:56,011 --> 00:21:58,813
Hey, Carla,
I'm so glad you're back.
521
00:21:58,881 --> 00:22:00,748
Yeah, me, too, Sammy.
522
00:22:00,816 --> 00:22:02,534
Why won't you tell me,
523
00:22:02,535 --> 00:22:03,935
you know, why you
left that place?
524
00:22:03,936 --> 00:22:04,986
Sammy, believe me,
525
00:22:05,003 --> 00:22:06,671
you're better off not knowing.
526
00:22:06,739 --> 00:22:08,840
Just swear to me
527
00:22:08,907 --> 00:22:10,875
you'll never
go back in that bar.
528
00:22:10,943 --> 00:22:13,228
Well, you're talking
like there was
529
00:22:13,295 --> 00:22:15,663
some sort of psycho killer
there or something.
530
00:22:15,731 --> 00:22:18,783
If only...
531
00:22:18,851 --> 00:22:21,886
Sammy, just swear to me
you won't go back.
532
00:22:21,954 --> 00:22:23,621
Okay. Well, I won't go. Okay.
533
00:22:23,622 --> 00:22:24,989
I'm just glad you're here.
534
00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:27,191
Yeah, isn't it funny
how things work out?
535
00:22:27,259 --> 00:22:29,527
I mean, you know,
if I'd stayed at Mr. Pubb's,
536
00:22:29,528 --> 00:22:31,029
I would have
made a lot more money,
537
00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:33,320
but I never would have met
my date for tonight.
538
00:22:33,366 --> 00:22:34,549
Your date? Yeah.
539
00:22:39,187 --> 00:22:42,190
Ready to go, sweetheart? Mm-hmm.
540
00:22:42,258 --> 00:22:44,992
Last straight broad in America,
541
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,878
and Bernard's got her.
37760
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