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1
00:00:01,575 --> 00:00:04,376
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,176 --> 00:00:08,576
What are you
doing, Cliff? What?
3
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,577
Well, I'm, uh, leaving
a tip there for Carla.
4
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:11,577
Yeah?
5
00:00:11,577 --> 00:00:13,377
Yeah, one of the oldest
bar tricks
6
00:00:13,477 --> 00:00:14,477
in the book there, Normie.
7
00:00:14,577 --> 00:00:17,078
Look, you see I filled
the glass with water.
8
00:00:17,178 --> 00:00:19,778
I'm gonna invert it on top
of this dollar bill.
9
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:21,779
Put it on the bar, right?
10
00:00:21,779 --> 00:00:23,579
Looks... Looks, uh,
empty now, doesn't it?
11
00:00:23,679 --> 00:00:24,779
Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:24,779 --> 00:00:27,780
Well, watch what happens
when she comes to get her tip.
13
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,480
Fasten your seat belts
and wait for the fun to begin.
14
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,681
Oh.
15
00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:37,381
Thanks for the tip, Cliff.
16
00:00:44,382 --> 00:00:46,083
Uh, joke's still
on her.
17
00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:48,883
She's the one that's got
to mop up all this mess.
18
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:49,883
(laughs)
19
00:00:55,384 --> 00:00:56,484
Thank you, Carla.
20
00:00:56,584 --> 00:00:58,485
Your apology's
accepted.
21
00:01:01,085 --> 00:01:02,885
(theme song begins)
22
00:01:04,986 --> 00:01:07,286
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
23
00:01:07,286 --> 00:01:10,487
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
24
00:01:10,587 --> 00:01:13,187
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
25
00:01:13,187 --> 00:01:16,588
¶ Sure would help a lot
26
00:01:16,688 --> 00:01:20,488
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
27
00:01:21,788 --> 00:01:24,089
¶ Sometimes you want to go
28
00:01:24,189 --> 00:01:28,590
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
29
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:34,491
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
30
00:01:34,591 --> 00:01:36,791
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
31
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:39,291
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
32
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:43,592
¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
33
00:01:44,892 --> 00:01:46,793
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
34
00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:49,993
¶ People are all the same
35
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:54,694
¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
36
00:02:12,997 --> 00:02:14,297
Hey, guys.
37
00:02:14,297 --> 00:02:15,297
Hey, Wood.
Hi, Wood.
38
00:02:15,397 --> 00:02:16,297
Mom finally sent out
39
00:02:16,297 --> 00:02:18,098
Grandma Meg's pressure cooker,
40
00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:20,598
so last night I whipped up
a batch of chili.
41
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,098
Oh.
Do you want
to try some?
42
00:02:22,198 --> 00:02:23,299
Yeah.
Sure.
43
00:02:23,399 --> 00:02:24,599
It's from an old
family recipe.
44
00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:25,999
Oh, your
grandma's?
45
00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:28,199
Nah, this old family
that lived down the road.
46
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,700
Mmm!
47
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:32,900
Woody, this is
excellent!
48
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,100
Mmm!
Mmm!
49
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,401
Normie, what
do you think?
50
00:02:35,401 --> 00:02:36,001
(belches)
51
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:38,301
He likes it!
52
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:41,302
Normie likes it!
53
00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:43,202
Woody, I'm sorry. It seems
we've eaten all your chili.
54
00:02:43,302 --> 00:02:45,202
I still got plenty left
in the thermos.
Great.
55
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,103
I didn't have breakfast today,
all right?
56
00:02:53,204 --> 00:02:54,904
(door opening)
57
00:02:55,004 --> 00:02:57,704
Quick, Normie,
turn on the Weather Channel.
58
00:02:57,804 --> 00:02:58,604
You know, I wonder
59
00:02:58,704 --> 00:03:01,005
if that sentence has
ever been spoken before.
60
00:03:02,705 --> 00:03:03,605
(female voice on TV)
61
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,005
Oh, yeah, there she is.
62
00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:06,206
Who?
63
00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:07,706
Weathergirl Dorothy,
my favorite.
64
00:03:07,806 --> 00:03:10,106
Isn't she dreamy?
65
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:12,207
Cliff, everybody
looks sort of dreamy
66
00:03:12,207 --> 00:03:14,607
when they have giant clouds
floating behind them.
67
00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,007
No, no.
Listen, listen.
68
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:18,508
She's got the cutest
little lateral lisp.
69
00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:20,508
Oh, I always get a giggle
when she tries to pronounce...
70
00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:22,708
(lisping):
...stratocumulus.
71
00:03:22,808 --> 00:03:25,409
So you, uh... you watch this
a lot, do you?
72
00:03:25,409 --> 00:03:26,509
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
73
00:03:26,609 --> 00:03:28,609
You get, uh,
kind of a fatherly feeling
74
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,910
about these, uh, weather anchors
after a while.
75
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,310
Yeah, well, besides,
it's on all night.
76
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,911
You're a very lonely
man, aren't you, Cliff?
77
00:03:38,011 --> 00:03:41,211
Not as long
as I got my Weather Channel.
78
00:03:42,812 --> 00:03:44,612
Hey, guys.
79
00:03:44,712 --> 00:03:46,112
Hey, Sammy's back!
(all shouting greetings)
80
00:03:46,212 --> 00:03:47,412
Hey, how was
your weekend
81
00:03:47,512 --> 00:03:49,013
up in the mountains
with Natalie?
82
00:03:49,113 --> 00:03:50,313
It was so great.
83
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,313
Nothin' like shushing down
those fine white slopes.
84
00:03:52,413 --> 00:03:53,513
NORM:
Yeah.
85
00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:54,614
Oh, you went
skiing, huh?
86
00:03:54,714 --> 00:03:55,914
No, no, no.
87
00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:59,314
You're a dog!
88
00:03:59,414 --> 00:04:01,215
Oh!
89
00:04:01,315 --> 00:04:03,015
Goodie. Sam, you're back.
90
00:04:03,015 --> 00:04:04,715
Hey, that's
what Natalie said.
91
00:04:04,815 --> 00:04:06,016
No, actually,
actually, she said,
92
00:04:06,116 --> 00:04:08,516
"Oh, goodie, Sam, your front."
93
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:09,716
(laughter)
94
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,317
I have a very, very
special surprise for you,
95
00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:16,417
so just close your
eyes and come with me.
96
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:18,218
This is deja vu of
the whole weekend.
97
00:04:18,318 --> 00:04:19,418
FRASIER:
Oh!
98
00:04:23,118 --> 00:04:25,319
Okay, you can
open your eyes.
99
00:04:25,419 --> 00:04:27,419
(chuckling):
Okay.
100
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,220
Well?
101
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:34,020
I can't tell you
102
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:37,521
how much better
Natalie's surprise was.
103
00:04:37,621 --> 00:04:39,521
What, you
don't like it?
104
00:04:39,621 --> 00:04:43,122
Well, it...
It's-It's just...
105
00:04:44,122 --> 00:04:45,422
Boy.
106
00:04:45,422 --> 00:04:47,222
I mean, it's-it's
really...
107
00:04:47,322 --> 00:04:48,823
Boy.
108
00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:50,223
No, that's...
that's not...
109
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,623
That's not the
right word.
110
00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:52,923
It's not
boy at all.
111
00:04:53,023 --> 00:04:54,424
It's, um... It's...
112
00:04:54,524 --> 00:04:55,624
It's a tearoom.
113
00:04:55,624 --> 00:04:58,324
Thanks for not making me guess.
114
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,224
Well, so what-what do you think?
115
00:05:00,324 --> 00:05:02,825
Well, you want my, uh,
honest first impression?
116
00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:05,025
My gut reaction?
117
00:05:05,025 --> 00:05:05,625
Yes, I do.
118
00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:06,726
I hate it. I hate it.
119
00:05:06,826 --> 00:05:07,926
I hate it!
120
00:05:07,926 --> 00:05:09,526
Now how could you
121
00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:11,726
do this without
asking me first?
122
00:05:11,726 --> 00:05:13,327
Without asking you first?
123
00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:16,127
Wait a minute! I happen to have
paid $25,000 to John Hill
124
00:05:16,127 --> 00:05:17,527
to get this poolroom back.
125
00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:18,928
If it hadn't been for me,
126
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,528
you wouldn't even have
this poolroom!
127
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,628
I don't have a poolroom.
128
00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:22,928
I have a tearoom.
129
00:05:22,928 --> 00:05:24,128
Ish!
130
00:05:24,128 --> 00:05:26,329
Oh, oh, oh.
131
00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:27,829
Look what you
made me do.
132
00:05:27,929 --> 00:05:29,129
You made me
say "ish."
133
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,629
(scoffs)
134
00:05:30,629 --> 00:05:33,230
What's that on the floor?
135
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,930
It's a throw rug.
136
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,131
Oh.
137
00:05:37,131 --> 00:05:38,631
Oh, hey.
138
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,031
Look at that.
It works.
139
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,431
Wait.
140
00:05:41,531 --> 00:05:44,132
This wouldn't happen to
be a throw table, would it?
141
00:05:44,232 --> 00:05:45,932
No. Sam, wait!
142
00:05:46,032 --> 00:05:47,032
You know, if you're gonna
take my money,
143
00:05:47,132 --> 00:05:50,533
I think my ideas deserve
a little bit more respect.
144
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:53,833
All right.
145
00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:55,334
You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
146
00:05:55,434 --> 00:05:57,334
Uh, this just came
as a little bit
147
00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:59,234
of a shock to me,
that's all.
148
00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:02,635
Tell you what, why don't I,
uh, just, uh, go outside here
149
00:06:02,735 --> 00:06:05,335
and come back in
and start fresh?
150
00:06:05,435 --> 00:06:07,336
That would be good, Sam.
Thank you.
151
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,036
I hate it. Hate it. I hate it!
152
00:06:12,136 --> 00:06:14,037
Ish!
153
00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:19,237
I'm putting that room
back the way it was!
154
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,638
As soon as I find
my pool table.
155
00:06:21,738 --> 00:06:24,038
CLIFF:
Three ball,
corner pocket.
156
00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:28,039
Thanks, Sam.
157
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,139
A little too much
English on that.
158
00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:32,740
REBECCA:
Sam,
159
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,040
please, now I know... I know
I sprung this on you, but
160
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:36,040
please give it a chance.
161
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,340
I think it
could work.
162
00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,541
My marketing survey showed
163
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:41,041
that this neighborhood was
in need of something like this.
164
00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:43,742
People want to go
to a place where
they can just relax.
165
00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:45,742
You know, a nice,
quiet, pretty little place
166
00:06:45,842 --> 00:06:47,642
where they can
just sit and talk.
167
00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:48,942
(belches)
168
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,543
Good one.
169
00:06:55,744 --> 00:06:57,744
Honey, you're crazy.
I-I have people coming in here
170
00:06:57,844 --> 00:07:00,344
just to shoot stick. I mean, I
bet that poolroom makes me
171
00:07:00,444 --> 00:07:02,545
an extra hundred
bucks a night.
Yeah, well,
172
00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:06,045
I bet with my tearoom,
I could make 500 bucks tonight.
173
00:07:06,045 --> 00:07:07,846
500 bucks
in one night?
Yes.
174
00:07:07,946 --> 00:07:09,846
What else are you selling
back there?
175
00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:13,146
Sam, it's my grand opening.
176
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:15,247
I've been promoting
all over town.
177
00:07:15,247 --> 00:07:18,347
You make 500 bucks in one night,
and-and that tearoom is yours.
178
00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:19,547
It's a bet.
179
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,748
Okay, it's a bet.
(chuckles)
180
00:07:20,848 --> 00:07:22,848
But I want you to know
there's no losers here
181
00:07:22,948 --> 00:07:24,848
because I'm gonna share
half the profit with you.
182
00:07:24,948 --> 00:07:26,449
Oh ho! Ooh!
183
00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:28,249
Half the profits
of a tearoom!
184
00:07:28,349 --> 00:07:29,649
Oh!
185
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,550
Oh, boy,
why didn't you say so before?
186
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,050
Let's figure
this out here.
187
00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:36,150
All right, let's see.
We'll, uh,
188
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,150
start with your profits.
189
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,951
That'd be... ooh!
190
00:07:38,951 --> 00:07:41,251
Wait, wait, wait.
Now I get half of this.
191
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,251
(muttering):
Let me. Hmm...
192
00:07:42,351 --> 00:07:43,851
Ooh, another... ooh!
193
00:07:43,851 --> 00:07:45,452
Fellas, fellas, look.
194
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,052
I get a great
big zero,
195
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:48,752
and I don't have
to lift a finger!
196
00:07:48,752 --> 00:07:50,252
Oh, thank you,
thank you.
197
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,653
I can retire! Ooh!
198
00:07:56,053 --> 00:07:58,454
God, he's a butthead.
199
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,855
DOROTHY:
Now, let's take a look
at the regional map.
200
00:08:06,855 --> 00:08:09,356
(lisping):
The southern sectors
will experience scattered clouds
201
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,456
over the Mississippi Basin.
202
00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:13,056
Boy.
203
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,156
(chuckles)
204
00:08:14,256 --> 00:08:16,057
Don't you just
love how she says
205
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:17,257
(lisping):
"Mississippi Basin"?
206
00:08:17,357 --> 00:08:19,257
It just melts your
heart, doesn't it, huh?
207
00:08:19,257 --> 00:08:20,357
Mm-hmm.
208
00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:23,058
You know, I, uh,
sent a fan letter to my Dorothy.
209
00:08:23,158 --> 00:08:24,358
Hmm?
210
00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:26,058
Yeah, I wonder
if she'll ever even read it.
211
00:08:26,158 --> 00:08:27,859
I mean,
they must get so many. Hmm.
212
00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:29,759
You know, I don't
think so, Cliff.
213
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,459
I don't think that
many people watch
the Weather Channel.
214
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:33,860
Seriously,
I don't think
215
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,060
that many people know
there is a Weather Channel.
216
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,060
Hmm. Boy, Norm,
are you out of touch!
217
00:08:41,461 --> 00:08:43,161
Hey, Fras, Lilith.
218
00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:44,261
Get you a drink?
219
00:08:44,361 --> 00:08:46,762
No, Sam, we are not here
for libation this day.
220
00:08:46,862 --> 00:08:49,362
We are here for the grand
opening of Rebecca's tearoom.
221
00:08:51,563 --> 00:08:52,863
Oh, yeah? Yeah?
222
00:08:52,963 --> 00:08:55,963
What, you gonna go back there
and, uh, make fun of her?
223
00:08:57,564 --> 00:09:00,864
No, we're-we're going
to go have some tea.
224
00:09:00,864 --> 00:09:02,364
Oh, yeah, yeah,
then you're, what...?
225
00:09:02,464 --> 00:09:05,665
You're gonna spit it
on the floor and laugh at her?
226
00:09:05,665 --> 00:09:09,766
We're just going to order it
and drink it down.
227
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,466
Well, what's funny about that?
228
00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:14,366
We're not trying
to be funny.
229
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:16,567
We're just here for some tea.
230
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:18,267
Is that so hard to believe?
231
00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:20,267
Yeah, seein' how
she's been open all day,
232
00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:21,668
and you're the first customers.
(chuckles)
233
00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:25,068
Oh, well, maybe the word
hasn't gotten out yet.
234
00:09:25,168 --> 00:09:28,569
Although, she did send
us this lovely invitation
235
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,069
hand-calligraphed
on a lace doily.
236
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:33,069
Didn't anyone else
get one of these?
237
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,270
Very funny.
238
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:40,971
Could have put someone's
eye out, you know.
239
00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:46,072
Let's go, Frasier.
240
00:09:46,172 --> 00:09:47,472
Wait, wait,
wait, Fras.
241
00:09:47,472 --> 00:09:49,272
You're not really
gonna go in there
242
00:09:49,372 --> 00:09:50,872
and drink tea,
are ya?
243
00:09:50,872 --> 00:09:53,273
Come on out here
and sit at the bar,
244
00:09:53,373 --> 00:09:56,273
you know,
with the guys.
245
00:09:56,373 --> 00:09:58,274
Have a beer.
Yeah.
246
00:10:01,274 --> 00:10:02,774
Well, I guess I-I could.
247
00:10:02,874 --> 00:10:04,175
(clears throat)
248
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:05,375
No.
249
00:10:07,575 --> 00:10:09,976
I mean, you're-you're tellin' us
you're just gonna go back there
250
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,776
and sit with your wife
and sip tea, huh?
251
00:10:12,776 --> 00:10:14,976
Yup, that's me.
252
00:10:14,976 --> 00:10:17,677
Whipped and proud of it.
253
00:10:22,078 --> 00:10:23,078
Thank you.
254
00:10:23,178 --> 00:10:24,278
Here you are.
255
00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:26,278
Please allow me.
256
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,879
All right, there.
257
00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:32,479
Now you'll notice on the menu
258
00:10:32,579 --> 00:10:35,180
that we have a...
a wide selection of sandwiches
259
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:39,780
and delectables, and, uh,
many, many varieties of tea.
260
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,581
So, what can I get you?
261
00:10:41,681 --> 00:10:43,881
Just some tea, please.
262
00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:47,682
That's it? Just tea?
263
00:10:47,882 --> 00:10:49,982
Well, perhaps
I could tempt you
264
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,182
with some tiny
little sandwiches or
265
00:10:52,282 --> 00:10:54,083
fresh biscuits?
266
00:10:55,383 --> 00:10:58,083
Scones?
267
00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,084
We're both watching our diets,
268
00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:02,884
so two pots of Orange Pekoe
would be lovely.
269
00:11:02,984 --> 00:11:04,084
FRASIER:
Hon,
270
00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:05,185
maybe we should split a pot.
271
00:11:06,085 --> 00:11:07,785
Well...
272
00:11:07,885 --> 00:11:11,186
Per-Perhaps one of my slightly
more expensive herbal teas?
273
00:11:11,286 --> 00:11:12,686
Uh, no, thank you.
274
00:11:12,786 --> 00:11:15,586
You guys cannot just have tea.
275
00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:16,787
Tea is a
loss leader.
276
00:11:16,887 --> 00:11:18,987
I lose money
just boiling the water.
277
00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:21,387
And, Lilith, look.
278
00:11:21,487 --> 00:11:22,587
(blows through lips)
279
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:23,788
You are hardly fat.
280
00:11:23,888 --> 00:11:26,288
You are borderline anorexic.
281
00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:28,088
Just
282
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:28,889
pig out!
283
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,389
Order some strawberry tarts.
284
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:32,089
Strawberries make me break out.
285
00:11:32,189 --> 00:11:34,890
Well, at least that will put
a little color in your face.
286
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,290
Perhaps we won't have
anything at all.
287
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,490
Fine!
288
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,491
I don't really care. Get out!
289
00:11:43,991 --> 00:11:46,992
Thanks for coming.
Tell all your friends.
290
00:11:49,092 --> 00:11:52,892
Frasier, Lilith,
oh, I'm sorry.
291
00:11:52,993 --> 00:11:54,893
I'm sorry. I'm
just desperate.
292
00:11:54,893 --> 00:11:56,693
I don't understand
why nobody wants
293
00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,593
to come back into my
beautiful tearoom.
294
00:11:58,693 --> 00:12:00,594
Well, Rebecca,
295
00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:03,594
a restaurant should be...
296
00:12:03,694 --> 00:12:05,595
like a mistress.
297
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:07,695
You see,
298
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:11,696
one shouldn't feel that
she's overeager to please.
299
00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:13,296
It's far more enticing
300
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:15,296
if you need her more
than she needs you.
301
00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,097
Who is this "she"
302
00:12:20,097 --> 00:12:22,097
you're talking
about, Frasier?
303
00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:24,098
Purely hypothetical.
304
00:12:24,098 --> 00:12:25,398
Well, it's a
little strange
305
00:12:25,498 --> 00:12:27,198
for a happily
married man
306
00:12:27,298 --> 00:12:28,998
to go prattling on
about a mistress.
307
00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:30,499
Oh, come on, hon,
give me this one.
308
00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:31,999
You already heard me
admit I was whipped
309
00:12:31,999 --> 00:12:33,199
in front of the boys.
310
00:12:33,299 --> 00:12:34,899
That was good.
311
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,400
You were right, Sam.
312
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,701
Nobody's gonna come
in here
313
00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:43,601
and have high tea
and crumpets.
314
00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:45,001
Oh, don't give
up hope.
315
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:47,301
(Cockney accent):
Maybe a carriage
will break down
316
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:50,202
in front of the pub
and everyone'll come
in for a cup of tea.
317
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,602
Have a cup of
tea, please.
318
00:12:51,602 --> 00:12:53,602
Have a cup of tea.
God, I hate you!
319
00:12:56,503 --> 00:12:59,503
Okay, guys.
320
00:12:59,503 --> 00:13:02,604
Just made up a fresh new batch
of chili.
321
00:13:02,704 --> 00:13:04,604
(cheering)
322
00:13:04,704 --> 00:13:06,305
Now all I ask
323
00:13:06,305 --> 00:13:08,005
is you please
leave me some this time.
324
00:13:10,905 --> 00:13:13,806
You guys really like
that chili, don't you?
Mmm.
325
00:13:13,906 --> 00:13:15,306
Well, do you
think that
326
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:18,507
if I sold that kind of
chili in my tearoom that,
327
00:13:18,607 --> 00:13:20,207
uh, I could make
$500 a night?
328
00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:20,907
Easy. But, uh,
329
00:13:21,107 --> 00:13:22,507
why would anyone want
to go back there?
330
00:13:22,507 --> 00:13:25,008
We got a free pot
of chili right here.
331
00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:26,208
Good point.
332
00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:28,308
Chili in the tearoom!
333
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,809
Chili in the tearoom!
334
00:13:32,309 --> 00:13:34,709
Sammy, kiss that poolroom
good-bye, pal.
335
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,882
Sam, she's sellin' an awful
lotta chili in there.
336
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,582
She must be gettin'
pretty close
337
00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:56,582
to that $500 mark.
Oh, come on.
338
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:58,083
So she's sellin' a
couple of bowls.
339
00:13:58,183 --> 00:14:00,083
I mean, how much chili
can a guy eat?
340
00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:02,283
Boy, I can't eat another
mouthful.
341
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,183
Uh-huh, see
what I mean?
342
00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:04,884
Thank goodness they sell
these gallon buckets
343
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:06,984
for take-out.
344
00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:09,784
Oh, man,
345
00:14:09,884 --> 00:14:11,085
I'm gonna lose
my poolroom.
346
00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,985
I've gotta think of some
way to stop her.
347
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,085
I agree with you,
Sammy.
348
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,185
Go for the jugular.
349
00:14:15,285 --> 00:14:16,085
Oh, yeah, yeah.
350
00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:17,486
Whatta ya mean, like
sabotage her?
351
00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:19,586
No, go for her jugular.
352
00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,787
I mean, you can't
sell chili
353
00:14:22,787 --> 00:14:24,887
when her throat's
all ripped out.
354
00:14:24,987 --> 00:14:27,887
Well, she could,
but who'd wanna buy it?
355
00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:30,888
No, I got it,
I got it.
356
00:14:30,988 --> 00:14:32,988
Let's call the fire
marshal on her, huh?
357
00:14:32,988 --> 00:14:34,989
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no,
358
00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:36,289
that'd be below
the belt.
359
00:14:36,389 --> 00:14:37,789
I can't do that.
360
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,589
Sam, can I talk to you a minute?
361
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,890
You know, I
just realized
362
00:14:41,990 --> 00:14:43,890
that the closer I'm
getting to my goal,
363
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:45,890
the more all I'm thinking
about is winning,
364
00:14:45,990 --> 00:14:47,291
and that's not right.
365
00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:48,991
I mean, I wasn't even
considering your feelings.
366
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:51,191
You've had that poolroom
for many, many years
367
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,392
and, well, I guess what
I'm trying to say is...
368
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:55,692
(singsongy):
Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!
369
00:14:55,692 --> 00:15:00,093
I'm gonna win
your poolroom!
370
00:15:03,493 --> 00:15:05,094
Call the fire marshal!
371
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:13,195
Glad that dinner rush is over.
372
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,495
Give me time to
put up a new pot
373
00:15:15,595 --> 00:15:17,896
before the after-theatre
crowd gets here.
374
00:15:17,996 --> 00:15:19,996
Sam, I'm takin'
a break.
375
00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:21,196
Me, too, Sammy.
376
00:15:21,196 --> 00:15:23,197
I'm down to the last notch
on my belt.
377
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,697
Yeah, I had to make a
new one with a nail.
378
00:15:27,497 --> 00:15:29,798
Hey, Cliff, you got somethin'
in the mail.
379
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:31,498
Huh?
That reminds me.
380
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,998
Did I ever take you out back
381
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,299
and kick the hell out of you
for that postal increase?
382
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:36,599
Uh-huh.
383
00:15:36,699 --> 00:15:37,399
Good.
384
00:15:37,499 --> 00:15:39,299
Just goin' over my checklist.
385
00:15:39,299 --> 00:15:41,500
Well, look at this!
386
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,100
It's a reply from my
Weathergirl Dorothy.
387
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,401
Oh, look at that,
the sweetheart.
388
00:15:47,401 --> 00:15:49,001
She sent a little photo
of herself.
389
00:15:49,101 --> 00:15:50,501
No, no, no, Cliffie,
390
00:15:50,501 --> 00:15:51,801
I believe that's
a satellite photo
391
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:54,802
of the entire
Eastern Seaboard.
392
00:15:54,902 --> 00:15:56,802
Oh, yeah,
but she's in there.
393
00:15:56,902 --> 00:15:58,802
I mean, I'm in there.
394
00:15:58,902 --> 00:16:01,403
We're all in there.
395
00:16:01,403 --> 00:16:03,703
The letter says,
"Dear Cliff,
396
00:16:03,703 --> 00:16:05,704
"Thank you so much for
your sweet letter.
397
00:16:05,804 --> 00:16:07,404
"You did not mention
what grade you're in,
398
00:16:07,404 --> 00:16:08,804
"but from the handwriting
I guess
399
00:16:08,804 --> 00:16:12,305
"that you're a big
boy of 11 or 12.
400
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,305
"Maybe when you
grow up,
401
00:16:14,305 --> 00:16:15,705
"you can be a
weatherperson, too.
402
00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:18,506
Yours truly,
Dorothy Borsik."
403
00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:21,706
CARLA (whispers):
Sammy, the
fire marshal.
404
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,106
Sam,
405
00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:25,207
we got a tip that Cheers
is operating a kitchen
406
00:16:25,307 --> 00:16:26,907
without a permit.
407
00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:28,907
Anything to that?
408
00:16:29,007 --> 00:16:30,608
Oh, gosh no.
409
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,708
I don't think anything that
would concern you, you know,
410
00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:35,208
just a couple
of exposed propane tanks,
411
00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:36,909
unventilated
hot plate.
412
00:16:37,009 --> 00:16:38,809
I mean, but that...
oh, now wait a second.
413
00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:41,810
Gee, that's a,
that's a potential fire hazard.
414
00:16:41,910 --> 00:16:43,810
And you, you're a fire marshal.
415
00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:45,410
What was I thinking?
416
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:49,011
I think I'll just
take a look-see.
417
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,112
Maybe I shouldn't have called
the fire department.
418
00:16:55,112 --> 00:16:56,412
Maybe that was wrong.
419
00:16:56,512 --> 00:16:57,912
Don't chicken out
now, Sam.
420
00:16:58,012 --> 00:16:59,712
No, no, no,
maybe I shoulda...
421
00:16:59,712 --> 00:17:02,013
put a mouse in the
chili and called the
health department.
422
00:17:02,113 --> 00:17:03,413
That would have
been funnier.
423
00:17:03,513 --> 00:17:05,513
(laughing)
424
00:17:05,613 --> 00:17:06,814
Sam,
425
00:17:06,914 --> 00:17:07,914
you should
426
00:17:07,914 --> 00:17:09,114
be ashamed of yourself.
427
00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:10,614
Do you realize
428
00:17:10,714 --> 00:17:12,415
everything that Rebecca has
attempted in her life
429
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:14,215
has resulted in failure?
430
00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:14,915
Yeah.
431
00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:16,415
This is her first
432
00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:18,916
success, and you're trying
to take it away from her.
433
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:20,416
That's my poolroom!
434
00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:21,616
But it's her life.
435
00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:22,816
But it's my poolroom.
436
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:26,217
Come on, you guys, understand
that, don't ya?
437
00:17:26,317 --> 00:17:28,217
Yeah, Sam, we
understand.
438
00:17:28,317 --> 00:17:30,818
We understand you made a fair
bet, you saw that you
439
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,518
were gonna lose,
and you started cheatin'.
440
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:35,918
Well, I-I-I didn't want
to be a bad sport.
441
00:17:36,018 --> 00:17:39,819
I just wanted to do anything
I had to to win.
442
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:42,820
But that's no reason
for you to be a cheater.
443
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,020
But you were the one
who told me to cheat!
444
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,220
No, I said
to kill her.
445
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:51,721
Cheating's wrong.
446
00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:54,722
I'm, I'm sorry.
447
00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:56,922
What, do you all hate me now?
Is that...?
448
00:17:56,922 --> 00:17:58,722
Well, kinda, yeah.
449
00:18:00,723 --> 00:18:03,023
I'm afraid that's some
list, Miss Howe.
450
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,123
NORM:
Great,
451
00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:05,823
now he's writin' her up
a citation.
452
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,624
So it's beans,
tomato paste,
453
00:18:08,724 --> 00:18:11,424
onions, peppers
and ground beef.
454
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,125
No, that's ground chuck.
455
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,125
Oh, ground chuck.
456
00:18:18,825 --> 00:18:20,026
Serves eight?
Uh-huh.
457
00:18:20,026 --> 00:18:22,126
What're you gonna do,
share with the other guys
458
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,726
at the firehouse?
Why should I?
459
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:25,727
What have they ever
done for me?
460
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,127
Sam,
461
00:18:29,127 --> 00:18:30,727
why do you suppose
462
00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:32,728
the fire marshal would
come by my chili room
463
00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:34,428
tonight, of
all nights?
464
00:18:34,528 --> 00:18:37,729
Kismet?
465
00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:40,029
No, because you
tipped him off.
466
00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:42,329
Sam, you could've
gotten me shut down.
467
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:46,030
Thank God that dear
man loves his chili.
468
00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,030
I'm sorry.
469
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,330
I got carried away.
470
00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:49,531
Yes, you did.
471
00:18:49,631 --> 00:18:51,531
Listen, I, I gotta
make this up to you.
472
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:54,031
How, how, how, how
close are you
473
00:18:54,131 --> 00:18:55,832
to getting that $500?
474
00:18:55,832 --> 00:18:56,932
About $20.
475
00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:57,832
I'll tell you what.
476
00:18:57,932 --> 00:18:59,032
Let me, let me, uh,
477
00:18:59,132 --> 00:19:01,733
buy a bowl of
chili for $20.
No.
478
00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:03,233
No, Sam, you don't
need to do that.
479
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:05,233
No, listen, I wanna prove to you
that I'm not a poor loser.
480
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,333
Come on, give me
481
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,033
my bowl of chili here.
482
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,534
Thank you, Sam,
this is nice of you.
483
00:19:09,534 --> 00:19:11,734
Go ahead,
just put on Woody's hat
484
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:12,934
and get the chili yourself
485
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:14,935
because I want to get
my camera and get a picture
486
00:19:14,935 --> 00:19:16,235
of you pouring
that bowl
487
00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:17,835
of chili that put me
over the top.
488
00:19:17,935 --> 00:19:19,335
Oh, you got
to warm it up, Sam.
489
00:19:19,435 --> 00:19:21,036
You know how to
turn on the flame?
490
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:22,036
It's kind of tricky.
491
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,836
Yeah, I'll
figure it out.
492
00:19:25,637 --> 00:19:29,237
(loud explosion)
493
00:19:29,337 --> 00:19:32,338
Yep, that's how I
figured it out, too.
494
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,540
It was a accident.
495
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,541
Sammy, are you okay?
496
00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:54,541
You ever had a pot of chili fly
by your face
497
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,242
at the speed of light?
498
00:19:56,242 --> 00:19:57,442
No.
499
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,642
Don't.
500
00:19:59,742 --> 00:20:02,543
Look at the hole
in that wall.
501
00:20:02,643 --> 00:20:04,043
Who could miss it, huh?
502
00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:05,243
No, I'm talking
about the brick wall
503
00:20:05,343 --> 00:20:07,843
across the alley.
504
00:20:07,943 --> 00:20:10,144
Man, that pressure cooker
really wanted out of here.
505
00:20:10,244 --> 00:20:13,144
Okay, everybody
out of here, out.
506
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:15,645
Come on,
everybody, out!
507
00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:17,145
Go back to the bar,
please.
508
00:20:17,145 --> 00:20:19,445
Not you.
509
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:21,946
I want to talk to you.
510
00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:26,747
Don't you think maybe I should
go to a trauma center first?
511
00:20:26,847 --> 00:20:29,247
S-Some of this
could be me.
512
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,048
Oh, come on, I know what
you're thinking here,
513
00:20:34,148 --> 00:20:36,048
but I-I didn't do
this on purpose.
514
00:20:36,148 --> 00:20:38,949
I swear to God I didn't
do it on purpose.
515
00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:40,449
You did it just because
I started doing really well
516
00:20:40,549 --> 00:20:41,549
back here and you're jealous.
517
00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:43,449
Y-You're just a big baby.
518
00:20:43,549 --> 00:20:45,250
I am not.
Yes, you are.
519
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,750
You want everything for you
and nothing for me.
520
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:50,651
Well, yeah, if that's being
a big baby, okay,
521
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:52,551
but... but I'm a,
522
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:53,351
I'm a guy.
523
00:20:53,451 --> 00:20:55,751
I'm supposed
to be a big baby.
524
00:20:55,851 --> 00:20:56,852
And you're a woman.
525
00:20:56,952 --> 00:20:58,952
You know, you're supposed
to be like a nice mommy
526
00:20:59,052 --> 00:21:02,452
and tell me everything's okay
and, and pat me on the head.
527
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:07,153
I would like to pat you
on the head with a pickax.
528
00:21:07,253 --> 00:21:08,553
Oh, I, I know how you feel.
529
00:21:08,653 --> 00:21:09,554
I mean,
530
00:21:09,654 --> 00:21:10,554
I'm sorry.
531
00:21:10,654 --> 00:21:12,354
This is crazy, I...
532
00:21:12,454 --> 00:21:14,554
I feel so sorry.
533
00:21:14,654 --> 00:21:16,055
No, you don't.
534
00:21:16,055 --> 00:21:17,455
Yes, I do, I really do.
535
00:21:17,455 --> 00:21:18,555
I just feel terrible.
536
00:21:18,655 --> 00:21:21,956
I... feel like I could cry.
537
00:21:21,956 --> 00:21:24,856
Okay.
538
00:21:24,856 --> 00:21:26,256
Okay what?
539
00:21:27,757 --> 00:21:29,057
Cry.
540
00:21:29,257 --> 00:21:31,357
What do you mean?
541
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:34,058
I mean, make water come
out of your eyes.
542
00:21:35,858 --> 00:21:37,458
And that way I will know
that you are really sorry
543
00:21:37,558 --> 00:21:39,459
for what you've done here.
544
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,159
Just cry?
545
00:21:43,159 --> 00:21:43,859
Yep.
546
00:21:57,262 --> 00:21:58,462
Does it count if, you know,
547
00:21:58,562 --> 00:22:00,662
if you really want to cry,
but you can't?
548
00:22:00,762 --> 00:22:01,762
No.
549
00:22:01,762 --> 00:22:03,062
Cry, Sam.
550
00:22:03,162 --> 00:22:04,163
Huh.
551
00:22:04,163 --> 00:22:07,163
(mock sobbing)
552
00:22:08,263 --> 00:22:10,564
No onions.
553
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,264
I want real tears.
Now, just cry.
554
00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:15,064
Give me a break.
What am I supposed to--?
555
00:22:15,164 --> 00:22:16,165
I mean, isn't this enough?
556
00:22:16,265 --> 00:22:18,565
A guy, a guy
who can't cry?
557
00:22:18,665 --> 00:22:19,965
I mean, that is
heartbreaking.
558
00:22:20,065 --> 00:22:23,366
Honey, there's nothing sadder
than a man who can't cry.
559
00:22:23,466 --> 00:22:24,766
No, Sam.
560
00:22:24,766 --> 00:22:25,966
It is not enough.
561
00:22:27,366 --> 00:22:30,767
Wait, maybe I can
help you out here.
562
00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:41,369
(glass breaking)
563
00:22:41,469 --> 00:22:42,669
(footsteps
approaching)
564
00:22:42,669 --> 00:22:44,469
There.
565
00:22:44,569 --> 00:22:46,070
Now we can go.
566
00:22:46,070 --> 00:22:48,370
Come on.
567
00:22:48,470 --> 00:22:49,370
What was that sound?
568
00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:50,570
Oh, that was the sound
569
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,971
of me breaking all the windows
out of your Corvette.
570
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:54,771
(Sam sobbing)
571
00:22:54,871 --> 00:22:57,471
REBECCA:
There, now there
are those tears.39707
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