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1
00:00:01,031 --> 00:00:03,832
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,832 --> 00:00:06,733
Sam.
3
00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:08,934
Sorry, they were out of beer
nuts and pretzels at the store,
4
00:00:09,034 --> 00:00:11,734
but guess what I got?
5
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,835
Choco Puffs.
6
00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,135
Hey-hey.
Hey, all right.
7
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:17,536
Haven't had these
since I was a kid.
8
00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:18,936
CLIFF:
Hey, look at this.
9
00:00:19,036 --> 00:00:22,937
Uh, "90% real sugar,
ten percent animal fat."
10
00:00:22,937 --> 00:00:25,838
God bless America, huh?
11
00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:29,639
I always liked eating mine
straight from the box.
12
00:00:29,639 --> 00:00:30,939
They still have prizes
in these things?
13
00:00:31,039 --> 00:00:32,240
Boy, I hope so.
14
00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:33,740
I remember when
I was a kid,
15
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,441
I got one of those lick-
and-stick tattoo books.
16
00:00:36,441 --> 00:00:38,341
Never wore them though.
17
00:00:38,441 --> 00:00:39,542
Felt pretty silly, huh?
18
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:43,143
No, I'm just waiting
for a special occasion.
19
00:00:44,343 --> 00:00:46,043
Yep, I got a prize.
20
00:00:46,143 --> 00:00:48,044
Me, too. Dumb BB game.
21
00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:50,044
Yeah, I got one of those
cheap plastic rings.
22
00:00:50,044 --> 00:00:53,945
Oh, great, another
tattoo book.
23
00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:55,046
(coughs)
24
00:00:55,146 --> 00:00:56,046
Let's see what
Cliffie got.
25
00:00:56,146 --> 00:00:57,546
(coughs)
26
00:00:57,646 --> 00:00:59,847
Hey, Cliffie got skunked.
27
00:00:59,947 --> 00:01:01,247
(laughing)
28
00:01:01,347 --> 00:01:03,748
(coughing, whistling)
29
00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:10,950
(coughing, whistling)
30
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,351
Oh, Mr. Clavin
got the whistle.
31
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:19,152
(coughing, whistling)
32
00:01:19,152 --> 00:01:21,053
(theme song begins)
33
00:01:23,153 --> 00:01:25,454
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
34
00:01:25,554 --> 00:01:28,755
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
35
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,355
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
36
00:01:31,455 --> 00:01:34,856
¶ Sure would help a lot
37
00:01:34,956 --> 00:01:38,757
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
38
00:01:39,958 --> 00:01:42,258
¶ Sometimes you want to go
39
00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:46,759
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
40
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:52,661
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
41
00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:54,962
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
42
00:01:55,062 --> 00:01:57,562
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
43
00:01:57,562 --> 00:02:01,863
¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
44
00:02:03,064 --> 00:02:04,964
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
45
00:02:05,064 --> 00:02:08,265
¶ People are all the same
46
00:02:08,265 --> 00:02:12,866
¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
47
00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:32,072
How's your throat
doing there, Cliffie?
48
00:02:32,072 --> 00:02:33,172
It's still a little sore, Sam.
49
00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:34,472
Oh, well,
50
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,373
here's something we
used to do in my family.
51
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,773
Ah! Ah!
52
00:02:38,873 --> 00:02:40,574
You did that for sore throats?
53
00:02:40,674 --> 00:02:42,374
No.
54
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,076
Sam...
55
00:02:49,176 --> 00:02:51,277
What...?
56
00:02:51,377 --> 00:02:53,377
My hatcheck girl is missing
from her post.
57
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:55,378
You haven't perchance seen her?
58
00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:56,978
What's that supposed to mean?
Every time something goes wrong
59
00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:58,479
in your restaurant
it's my fault?
60
00:02:58,579 --> 00:02:59,979
Like I'm the one who's supposed
to keep track
61
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,279
of all your employees?
62
00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:03,180
You know,
that really ticks me off.
63
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:07,281
Sam, I can't get the sofa bed
to fold back up.
64
00:03:11,282 --> 00:03:12,982
Miss Kenderson.
65
00:03:12,982 --> 00:03:15,583
For the three weeks
you've been in my employ
66
00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:18,884
as a hatcheck girl, you've spent
most of your time downstairs.
67
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:20,784
Today, as luck would have it,
68
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:23,285
we actually had a customer
with a hat.
69
00:03:25,186 --> 00:03:26,386
And where were you?
70
00:03:26,486 --> 00:03:28,086
Taking a break.
71
00:03:28,186 --> 00:03:29,287
It wasn't your break time.
72
00:03:29,287 --> 00:03:30,987
It was mine.
73
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:32,588
Miss Kenderson,
you're terminated.
74
00:03:32,688 --> 00:03:33,888
Get your things and clear out.
75
00:03:33,988 --> 00:03:35,188
Fine.
76
00:03:36,289 --> 00:03:38,989
Sam, in the future,
I'd appreciate you
77
00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:43,190
keeping your hands off
my hatcheck girls.
78
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,591
You know,
it's your own stupid fault.
79
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:45,991
I mean, I wouldn't touch
your hatcheck girls
80
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:48,292
if you'd hire some waitresses.
81
00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:51,693
Hello, all.
82
00:03:51,793 --> 00:03:53,493
Happy birthday, Dr. Crane.
83
00:03:53,593 --> 00:03:54,893
Why, thank you, Woody.
84
00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:56,394
How did you know?
85
00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:58,094
Well, you left your wallet here
last night,
86
00:03:58,094 --> 00:04:00,095
so I was looking through it
to find out whose it was.
87
00:04:01,895 --> 00:04:03,696
Are you really gonna donate
your internal organs
88
00:04:03,696 --> 00:04:05,496
in case of accident?
89
00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:07,797
They take them before
you die, you know.
90
00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:12,898
Yeah, my uncle was just
in a fender bender.
91
00:04:12,898 --> 00:04:15,599
They chased him half
way down the block.
92
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,200
Well, thank you
for sharing that with me
93
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,901
on my, uh, special day.
94
00:04:26,102 --> 00:04:28,302
So, you got some
big plans, here?
95
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,603
Oh, nothing much.
96
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,004
I've never been one of those
who tend to make a big brouhaha.
97
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:35,104
As my mother always used
to tell me,
98
00:04:35,104 --> 00:04:36,505
"Don't get excited.
99
00:04:36,605 --> 00:04:39,605
It's just another day
of the year."
100
00:04:43,206 --> 00:04:45,207
You're kidding me,
you never had parties
when you were a kid?
101
00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:47,107
Friends over?
Cakes? Ice cream?
102
00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:48,608
No.
103
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:52,509
Well, once I had a... a bran
muffin with a pat of oleo.
104
00:04:55,109 --> 00:04:56,510
Hey, you know something,
hey, I got an idea.
105
00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:59,311
Let's throw Frasier
a party here, huh?
106
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:01,111
You know, the bash that he
never had, what do you say?
107
00:05:01,211 --> 00:05:03,012
Yeah. Great idea.
(all agreeing)
108
00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:04,212
Afternoon, everybody.
109
00:05:04,312 --> 00:05:05,712
ALL:
Norm!
110
00:05:05,812 --> 00:05:07,513
What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
111
00:05:07,613 --> 00:05:09,713
Another layer
for the winter, Wood.
112
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,715
CLIFF:
Hey, Norm, did you hear?
113
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,115
We're gonna have a big,
uh, birthday bash there
114
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:19,816
for Doc Fras.
Yeah, great.
115
00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:21,216
Hey, it'll be exciting,
Mr. Peterson.
116
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:23,717
We're gonna have
cake and ice cream.
117
00:05:23,817 --> 00:05:27,518
Yeah, we can go crazy and order
from Pizza-Pizza-Pizza-Pizza.
118
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,319
Oh, what do they
serve there?
119
00:05:31,319 --> 00:05:33,520
Pizza, you dweeb.
120
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:34,920
You don't have to
bite my head off.
121
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:38,121
I've never been
there before.
122
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:39,021
I don't know, guys.
123
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,722
I'm just not in the
mood for a party.
124
00:05:40,722 --> 00:05:43,222
I got some bad news.
What?
125
00:05:43,322 --> 00:05:45,823
Vera lost her job.
126
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,523
(all groaning)
CLIFF:
Her, too, huh?
127
00:05:47,523 --> 00:05:49,324
Boy, this recession
is hitting everybody.
128
00:05:49,324 --> 00:05:51,624
Well, they should have gone
for the gold
129
00:05:51,724 --> 00:05:53,625
and gotten the security
of a government job.
130
00:05:53,725 --> 00:05:54,925
Yeah, I'll tell you,
131
00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:56,926
I could spit on that mail
and chuck it down the sewer,
132
00:05:57,026 --> 00:06:00,327
and they couldn't fire me.
133
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,127
How do you know
that, Mr. Clavin?
134
00:06:03,027 --> 00:06:05,328
I-I don't.
135
00:06:05,428 --> 00:06:08,529
How about those Celtics, huh?
136
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,930
It's too bad, man,
about Vera losing her job.
137
00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,230
NORM:
Yeah.
138
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,031
We have, like, no money
coming in at all.
139
00:06:15,131 --> 00:06:18,432
If something doesn't happen
soon, I may have to find a job.
140
00:06:21,232 --> 00:06:23,133
You gonna work, Norm?
141
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,333
I mean for Vera.
142
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:28,634
"You gonna work, Norm?"
143
00:06:29,935 --> 00:06:31,135
Hi, guys.
144
00:06:31,135 --> 00:06:32,635
Oh, Rebecca,
there you are.
145
00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:34,336
I've been looking everywhere
for you.
146
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,436
What are you talking about?
147
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,437
You're just sitting there
on your bar stool.
148
00:06:37,537 --> 00:06:40,037
I know.
This is where I look from.
149
00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:41,738
So what do you need, Norm?
150
00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:42,938
Well, it's Vera.
151
00:06:43,038 --> 00:06:45,139
She was, uh, laid off
down at the travel agency.
152
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,139
Oh, so you want me to see if I
can use my corporate connections
153
00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:48,540
to get her another job?
154
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,040
No.
155
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,840
You want me to help her out
with some professional resume?
156
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,141
Well, no.
157
00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:54,441
What do you want, Norm?
158
00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:55,941
Well, you see,
159
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,842
Vera ripped off a bunch of these
frequent flyer vouchers.
160
00:06:58,942 --> 00:07:01,843
And I was wondering if I could
trade them in for free beers.
161
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:02,943
(scoffs)
162
00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:06,044
What? What?
163
00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:08,145
Okay, somebody's got to
go get all this stuff.
164
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,445
I want ice cream,
balloons, decorations...
165
00:07:09,445 --> 00:07:10,845
I nominate Frasier.
166
00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:12,346
I second.
All in favor.
167
00:07:12,546 --> 00:07:13,646
ALL:
Aye!
168
00:07:13,646 --> 00:07:16,547
You guys are the greatest.
169
00:07:23,549 --> 00:07:25,349
Let the party begin.
170
00:07:25,449 --> 00:07:28,850
The birthday boy is here,
and I've got the balloons.
171
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,451
CARLA:
Hey, congratulations, Frasier,
172
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,051
on a job well done.
173
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,852
Well, thank you
very much.
174
00:07:36,252 --> 00:07:39,253
I'll, uh,
be right back, Sam.
175
00:07:40,853 --> 00:07:43,454
Ah... I love birthdays.
176
00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:46,955
PETE:
Hey.
177
00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,155
Isn't that
that French guy
178
00:07:48,255 --> 00:07:49,456
who's trying to steal
Woody's girlfriend?
179
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,556
Ah, yeah,
what a slimebag.
180
00:07:51,656 --> 00:07:54,057
Yeah, the man's got
the morals of a snake.
181
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,157
I can believe he'd
show his face in here.
182
00:07:56,157 --> 00:07:57,358
Hello, fellows.
183
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,158
Hey.
Hey, Henri,
how're you doing?
184
00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,559
HENRI:
Ah, Woody.
185
00:08:02,559 --> 00:08:04,260
Let's hurry
and take your picture.
186
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,460
I have plans, huh?
187
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,560
Oh, yeah, I know.
188
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,161
You want to steal
my girlfriend.
189
00:08:08,161 --> 00:08:12,162
No. I could never take
Kelly away from you.
190
00:08:12,262 --> 00:08:13,962
Why, just this morning,
Kelly was telling me
191
00:08:13,962 --> 00:08:15,863
how much she loves you.
192
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,463
Really?
Yes.
193
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:21,264
It got so annoying, I almost had
to kick her out of the shower.
194
00:08:23,965 --> 00:08:25,465
Is that a joke?
195
00:08:25,665 --> 00:08:27,766
Ah! But of course.
196
00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:29,566
(laughing)
197
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:30,967
Are you ready?
198
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,967
Yeah, I-I just shaved.
How's my face look?
199
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:37,268
Mm, as smooth as your girlfriend
Kelly's bottom.
200
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:39,669
Is that a joke?
201
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,470
(laughing):
But of course it is.
202
00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:46,271
You have to shave much closer.
203
00:08:46,371 --> 00:08:49,272
(laughing)
204
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:53,673
Where is this, uh, this,
uh, American sense of humor
205
00:08:53,773 --> 00:08:55,073
I've heard so much about?
206
00:08:55,073 --> 00:08:57,874
Uh, bring me a soda
and pay for it, Woody.
207
00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:01,775
Woody,
208
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,175
you don't even
like this man.
209
00:09:04,175 --> 00:09:05,276
He's been bothering you
ever since
210
00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:07,376
he followed your girlfriend
back from Paris.
211
00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:09,877
And now you're paying him
to photograph you?
212
00:09:09,977 --> 00:09:12,078
Well, he just borrows
money from me anyway.
213
00:09:12,078 --> 00:09:15,478
This way I don't have to worry
about him paying me back.
214
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,479
It's good you worked
that out, Woody.
215
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,880
Yeah, besides, this is the first
formal picture I've had taken
216
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,281
since my high school yearbook.
217
00:09:24,381 --> 00:09:25,481
I hated that one.
218
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:26,581
Darned cowlick.
219
00:09:26,681 --> 00:09:28,882
Oh, yeah, when your hair
all stands up like that?
220
00:09:28,882 --> 00:09:30,282
Uh-uh.
221
00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:35,584
Sam?
222
00:09:35,684 --> 00:09:37,284
A thought occurs.
223
00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:38,285
Mmm?
224
00:09:38,385 --> 00:09:39,985
I always have such trouble
trying to figure out
225
00:09:40,085 --> 00:09:42,586
what to get Frasier
for his birthday.
Mm-hmm.
226
00:09:42,686 --> 00:09:45,887
Do you think perhaps
he'd like a photograph of me?
227
00:09:45,987 --> 00:09:46,987
Why?
228
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,287
I mean...
229
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,788
Of course he would.
230
00:09:50,888 --> 00:09:53,689
Why would any man not want
a picture of his wife?
231
00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:54,689
I agree.
232
00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:58,590
A picture of you
is what every man wants.
233
00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:01,791
May I have the honor
of taking it?
234
00:10:01,891 --> 00:10:03,991
Well, perhaps.
235
00:10:04,091 --> 00:10:05,792
But I must warn you.
236
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:07,692
I've had bad luck
with photographers.
237
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:09,793
It seems they always
overexpose the film,
238
00:10:09,893 --> 00:10:12,093
and I come out looking
white as a ghost.
239
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:14,594
Oh.
240
00:10:14,694 --> 00:10:17,295
I could put roses
in your cheeks.
241
00:10:17,395 --> 00:10:20,596
And then afterward, maybe
I could photograph you.
242
00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:23,497
Why don't you
come this way?
243
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,897
Uh, what do you think you
would like to be wearing?
244
00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:28,098
Uh... an evening gown?
245
00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:30,598
A black lace teddy?
246
00:10:30,598 --> 00:10:32,599
My strong male hands?
247
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,799
I wasn't thinking of anything
like that.
248
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:38,000
Oh, come on, Lil,
loosen up.
249
00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:41,301
Let him snap you
in some lingerie.
250
00:10:41,401 --> 00:10:43,702
Guys love dirty pictures
of their babes.
251
00:10:43,802 --> 00:10:45,902
Hey, Nick always used
to take them of me
252
00:10:46,002 --> 00:10:49,203
until one time I smashed
his camera and broke his nose.
253
00:10:49,303 --> 00:10:50,604
Oh, you got in a fight, huh?
254
00:10:50,604 --> 00:10:53,404
No, fell off
the monkey bars.
255
00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:02,107
Thank you, Carla.
256
00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:04,007
Uh, I was thinking more
of a photograph of me
257
00:11:04,107 --> 00:11:05,308
he could put
in his office.
Mm-hmm.
258
00:11:05,408 --> 00:11:07,408
A nice formal portrait.
259
00:11:07,508 --> 00:11:11,109
Ah, with just a hint of
smoldering sensuality
260
00:11:11,109 --> 00:11:12,910
dancing behind your eyes.
261
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,810
Well, that goes
without saying.
262
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:18,511
Well, uh, let's just take
a few test shots, uh?
263
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,412
Just to, uh, loosen you up
before we go back to the studio?
264
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,712
Okay.
265
00:11:23,812 --> 00:11:26,113
Hey, I thought you were here
to take my picture.
266
00:11:26,213 --> 00:11:28,314
And I thought I ordered a soda.
267
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,714
You got a point there.
268
00:11:32,015 --> 00:11:33,715
Okay, okay.
269
00:11:33,815 --> 00:11:36,616
Good. Serious.
270
00:11:36,616 --> 00:11:38,916
Happy. Seductive.
271
00:11:39,017 --> 00:11:41,117
Angry. Playful.
272
00:11:43,118 --> 00:11:45,118
Have you ever modeled
professionally?
273
00:11:46,018 --> 00:11:47,819
Goodness no.
274
00:11:47,919 --> 00:11:50,920
Oh, I know you're lying.
275
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,620
Come, let's go back
to the studio.
276
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,221
Tres bien.
277
00:11:54,321 --> 00:11:55,921
Como?
278
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,122
You said, "Let's go back
to the studio,"
279
00:11:58,222 --> 00:11:59,722
and I said, "Tres bien."
280
00:11:59,822 --> 00:12:02,623
No, I'm sorry,
I don't understand this.
281
00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:03,723
Tres bien.
282
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:06,524
Ah, oh, "Tres bien"!
283
00:12:07,824 --> 00:12:09,725
I see I'm going
to have to teach you
284
00:12:09,725 --> 00:12:11,225
the French tongue.
285
00:12:16,426 --> 00:12:18,927
Hey, Henri, I have your soda.
286
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,028
Henri?
287
00:12:21,128 --> 00:12:22,328
Woody, he left.
288
00:12:23,928 --> 00:12:26,029
Well, all right,
then I'll just drink his soda.
289
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,330
No, I can't do that.
290
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:31,530
That would be wrong.
291
00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:34,631
Hi, guys.
292
00:12:34,731 --> 00:12:36,532
Rebecca!
293
00:12:36,732 --> 00:12:37,832
How did it go with Vera?
294
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:39,232
It went great.
I just love her.
295
00:12:39,232 --> 00:12:40,333
And guess what?
296
00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:42,433
I think I landed her
a pretty good job.
297
00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:44,534
You're joking.
No, no,
I still have the touch.
298
00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:46,234
I helped her with her resume.
Where is she working?
299
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:48,135
Then I got her prepped
for the interview.
Where's she working?
300
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,835
I even loaned her
my lucky scarf.
301
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,636
Yeah, but where
is she working?
302
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:53,636
VERA:
Norm!
303
00:12:53,636 --> 00:12:55,637
Vera!
304
00:12:58,538 --> 00:13:00,638
What are you
doing up there?
305
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,339
VERA:
Check your hat, Mister?
306
00:13:03,239 --> 00:13:06,140
(screaming)
307
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:15,442
I'll, uh, I'll be right back.
308
00:13:27,615 --> 00:13:29,216
Hey, Norm, we need you.
309
00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:30,916
Pete just hit a bull's-eye
and doubled off.
310
00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:33,417
You're our last hope.
311
00:13:33,517 --> 00:13:35,417
Norm?
312
00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:38,418
Norm?
313
00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:43,319
She's up there.
314
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,120
What?
315
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:48,821
Listen.
316
00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:50,821
(steps thudding above)
You hear that?
317
00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:52,522
Hear what?
318
00:13:52,522 --> 00:13:55,123
Vera.
319
00:13:55,223 --> 00:13:57,623
She's crossing over
to the coffee machine.
320
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:02,124
No, wait, they could
be moving the piano.
321
00:14:04,525 --> 00:14:07,426
Nah, it's her.
322
00:14:07,526 --> 00:14:10,427
Come on, man.
I know that walk.
323
00:14:10,527 --> 00:14:12,827
You can't hear her
all the way up there.
324
00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,828
I wish I couldn't,
Sam, believe me,
325
00:14:14,828 --> 00:14:17,729
but that walk is
burned into my brain.
326
00:14:17,829 --> 00:14:19,129
I've heard it
in snow boots.
327
00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:20,229
I've heard it in flip-flops.
328
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:21,530
I've heard it
in bare feet.
329
00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:23,030
Click-click, click-click,
click-click.
330
00:14:28,832 --> 00:14:30,632
Let the birthday fun begin, Sam!
331
00:14:30,732 --> 00:14:32,533
The balloons have
entered the building.
332
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,433
Say, where are the guys?
333
00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:36,834
They're in the poolroom.
334
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,234
Oh, jeez, I'm missing
all the fun
335
00:14:38,234 --> 00:14:39,234
at my own birthday party.
336
00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:41,135
Hey, wait up guys!
337
00:14:41,135 --> 00:14:42,335
Hey, be careful
back there.
338
00:14:42,435 --> 00:14:43,635
The dart tournament started.
339
00:14:43,735 --> 00:14:45,636
(balloons popping)
340
00:14:55,539 --> 00:14:57,339
I hate this bar.
341
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,741
Norm, Vera's doing
342
00:15:03,741 --> 00:15:05,141
a really good job up there.
343
00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:07,242
She is just terrific!
344
00:15:07,342 --> 00:15:09,442
And funny!
Listen to this.
345
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,443
How many fat guys does it take
to change a lightbulb?
346
00:15:12,443 --> 00:15:13,743
I don't know.
347
00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:16,544
You can't get a fat guy
to change a lightbulb.
348
00:15:17,845 --> 00:15:19,245
You can't even get him
to come home
349
00:15:19,345 --> 00:15:21,846
on Christmas Eve.
350
00:15:21,946 --> 00:15:24,746
(laughing hysterically)
351
00:15:28,047 --> 00:15:30,648
Oh, she was telling
some real cute stories
352
00:15:30,648 --> 00:15:32,648
about you, too, Norm.
353
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:33,849
Hey, why didn't you ever tell us
354
00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:35,449
that your real first name
was Hilary?
355
00:15:35,449 --> 00:15:38,450
Oh, who cares about that?
356
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:39,450
Hey, guys!
357
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:41,351
Norm's real first name
is Hilary!
358
00:15:41,451 --> 00:15:44,352
(laughing)
Hey, wait a minute.
359
00:15:44,352 --> 00:15:46,152
Isn't that a girl's name?
360
00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:49,653
Hilary was my
grandfather's name
361
00:15:49,753 --> 00:15:51,954
and he once killed a man
who laughed at him.
362
00:15:51,954 --> 00:15:54,054
What, he just up
and killed somebody
363
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,154
for laughing at his name?
364
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,755
Not exactly.
He was a surgeon.
365
00:15:57,755 --> 00:15:59,756
He sort of botched an operation.
366
00:16:01,456 --> 00:16:03,557
Norm, you don't have
to be defensive.
367
00:16:03,557 --> 00:16:05,257
I think Hilary's a very
masculine name.
368
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,858
In fact,
369
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:09,458
I think you ought to have it
monogrammed on your purse.
370
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,960
Let the party begin!
371
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:18,761
All right!
372
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:20,061
You got the balloons, huh?
373
00:16:20,161 --> 00:16:20,861
Well, actually, no.
374
00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,162
They were out of balloons.
375
00:16:22,262 --> 00:16:24,162
Fortunately, a colleague
of mine was kind enough
376
00:16:24,262 --> 00:16:27,563
to give me a box
of surgical gloves.
377
00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:32,964
If you can't have a good
time with four dozen
378
00:16:32,964 --> 00:16:35,565
rubber inflated hands,
you're just not trying.
379
00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:41,367
Frasier, I've been
waiting for you.
380
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,067
Happy Birthday.
381
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,168
Well, darling, for me?
382
00:16:45,268 --> 00:16:46,568
Now, Frasier,
383
00:16:46,668 --> 00:16:48,268
you know that in the past
384
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,969
some of my birthday
presents to you
385
00:16:49,969 --> 00:16:51,369
have been a little dull.
386
00:16:51,369 --> 00:16:53,770
So, this year, I decided
to try something
387
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:55,070
a little more adventurous.
388
00:16:55,170 --> 00:16:57,371
I thought to myself,
389
00:16:57,471 --> 00:16:58,871
"What would my husband think
390
00:16:58,971 --> 00:17:01,972
of a provocative photograph
of his demure wife
391
00:17:02,072 --> 00:17:05,773
stretched out languidly
on a bearskin rug?"
392
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:06,973
ALL:
Whoo-hoo!
393
00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:08,674
Lilith, surely
you're joking.
394
00:17:08,774 --> 00:17:10,074
I am not.
395
00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:15,276
(bar patrons whistle and howl)
396
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:16,876
Whoo!
397
00:17:20,677 --> 00:17:22,378
Well, you're right.
398
00:17:22,478 --> 00:17:24,478
That certainly is
a bearskin rug.
399
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,679
And that is definitely you.
400
00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:31,480
Oh, how erotic.
401
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:33,581
I guess we'll have
to keep the negatives.
402
00:17:33,581 --> 00:17:35,481
We'd hate to have them
falling into the hands
403
00:17:35,481 --> 00:17:36,981
of Fully DressedWoman's Monthly.
404
00:17:39,982 --> 00:17:42,083
Frasier, you're forgetting
what a cheeky monkey I can be.
405
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,783
It's a gag gift.
406
00:17:43,783 --> 00:17:45,184
If you wanted us to gag,
407
00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:46,584
you should have
taken a nudie.
408
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,185
Well, you're right, darling.
409
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:52,285
And it's hilarious.
410
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,486
I'll be sure to put this
right up in my workshop.
411
00:17:54,586 --> 00:17:56,787
You don't have a workshop.
412
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,987
Then I'll put it
in the closet.
413
00:18:00,888 --> 00:18:03,488
By the way...
414
00:18:03,588 --> 00:18:04,989
here are the rest
of the photographs
415
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:06,489
from the session.
416
00:18:06,489 --> 00:18:07,790
Why, Lilith, these are...
417
00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:12,391
You, you're practically...
418
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,391
You're only wearing a...
419
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:17,592
Oh, baby, baby!
420
00:18:21,493 --> 00:18:24,594
Happy birthday, Frasier.
421
00:18:24,694 --> 00:18:26,595
Would you like to go home
and get a better look
422
00:18:26,695 --> 00:18:28,195
at those?
I sure would.
423
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,697
Oh, uh, you can come, too.
424
00:18:41,699 --> 00:18:43,299
Well, that's it.
425
00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:44,699
I'm out of here.
426
00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:45,900
"Out of here"?
427
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,400
Norm, it's 9:30.
It's not closing time.
428
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,801
NORM:
I know.
429
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:51,401
I'm still leaving.
430
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:54,102
Oh, well, I'll drive you,
then, okay?
431
00:18:54,102 --> 00:18:55,402
No-no-no, I don't
need a ride.
432
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,103
I didn't even
have any beers.
433
00:18:59,603 --> 00:19:01,504
I hope you're happy, woman.
434
00:19:03,004 --> 00:19:05,505
Look, guys, uh...
435
00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:08,306
I can't keep
hanging around here.
436
00:19:08,406 --> 00:19:11,707
Knowing that she's
up there just...
437
00:19:11,807 --> 00:19:14,007
spoils the whole thing for me.
438
00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:16,308
I'll have to find
another bar, I guess.
439
00:19:16,308 --> 00:19:18,008
I don't believe this!
440
00:19:18,108 --> 00:19:20,009
You're just gonna up
and walk out of here?
441
00:19:21,509 --> 00:19:23,810
Oh, I'm gonna say something that
442
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,810
I thought I'd never say, but...
443
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,211
dibs on the first stool!
444
00:19:31,612 --> 00:19:32,612
Hey, come on!
445
00:19:32,712 --> 00:19:34,713
Listen, Cheers wouldn't be
Cheers without you.
446
00:19:34,713 --> 00:19:36,413
You're the reason
why people come here.
447
00:19:36,513 --> 00:19:37,813
Oh, what people?
448
00:19:37,913 --> 00:19:42,015
Well, the delivery
man, for one.
449
00:19:44,815 --> 00:19:46,516
(Norm screams)
450
00:19:48,516 --> 00:19:49,717
She's up there.
451
00:19:49,817 --> 00:19:51,717
She's everywhere.
452
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:53,418
Is she like multiplying?
453
00:20:00,419 --> 00:20:02,320
Vera?
(Vera crying)
454
00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:03,520
Are you okay?
455
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,521
Norm...
456
00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:14,623
Rebecca, have I thanked you
457
00:20:14,623 --> 00:20:16,324
for sending me
the new hatcheck girl?
458
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,124
No, John, you haven't.
459
00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:19,324
Well, here's why.
460
00:20:19,424 --> 00:20:20,625
She was worse
461
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:22,725
than the last one
and I fired her.
462
00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:25,926
Hey, do you want to tell me
why you fired Vera?
463
00:20:25,926 --> 00:20:28,027
Who are you?
I'm her husband, Norm.
464
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,627
Oh, yes.
465
00:20:29,627 --> 00:20:31,428
I didn't recognize
you without a bar
466
00:20:31,428 --> 00:20:32,728
growing out of your chest.
467
00:20:36,529 --> 00:20:37,929
Well, I fired her
because she wasn't
468
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,230
paying attention
to her work.
469
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:40,230
What are you talking about?
470
00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,030
She's a very
conscientious worker.
471
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:44,331
How would you describe a woman
who spends all her time
472
00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:47,132
on her hands and knees looking
through a knothole in the floor?
473
00:20:47,232 --> 00:20:49,332
I knew it!
474
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,633
Yep, there it is!
475
00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:54,234
There it is!
476
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:56,234
My good man,
you have my sympathy.
477
00:20:56,334 --> 00:20:59,035
To be married to her
must be quite an ordeal.
478
00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,736
Hey, take that back!
479
00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:03,736
What?
Take that back!
480
00:21:03,836 --> 00:21:05,337
You're talking about
the woman I love!
481
00:21:05,437 --> 00:21:07,237
I want you to take that
back before I turn you
482
00:21:07,237 --> 00:21:08,638
into a pretzel!
483
00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:12,639
Well, that's a shape
I'm sure you're familiar with.
484
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,439
I am not kidding!
485
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:15,839
All right, all right.
486
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,840
I take it back. I apologize.
487
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:20,141
All right.
488
00:21:20,141 --> 00:21:22,241
Now just go on back upstairs
489
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,742
before I pound you
into a... a beer nut!
490
00:21:24,842 --> 00:21:27,142
Well, thank you.
I'm tiring of the theme.
491
00:21:31,644 --> 00:21:34,644
Wow! Norm,
that was sweet.
492
00:21:34,744 --> 00:21:36,945
You stood up for your wife.
Shh, shh, shh.
493
00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:38,946
No, no, no,
don't be embarrassed.
494
00:21:38,946 --> 00:21:42,146
Everyone didn't see that,
did they?
495
00:21:42,246 --> 00:21:43,747
We saw it.
496
00:21:43,847 --> 00:21:45,447
I took a picture.
497
00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:49,348
Norm, so what if they did?
498
00:21:51,349 --> 00:21:52,549
You're right.
499
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,950
Listen, I joke around
a lot, but...
500
00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:58,651
she's all I've got.
501
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,451
I don't know what I'd do
without her.
502
00:22:03,352 --> 00:22:05,253
I love her.
503
00:22:05,353 --> 00:22:08,053
That's sweet.
504
00:22:09,554 --> 00:22:11,254
You know, she's,
505
00:22:11,354 --> 00:22:13,855
she's still up in the
stairwell crying.
506
00:22:13,955 --> 00:22:16,556
Oh, I know. She'll, she'll go
away after a while.
507
00:22:23,557 --> 00:22:25,758
Yeah, there she goes.
508
00:22:25,858 --> 00:22:27,558
You gotta love her!35127
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