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1
00:00:01,831 --> 00:00:04,630
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:06,730
No, I don't
remember her name.
3
00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,930
(wind whistling)
4
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:10,330
Sammy?
5
00:00:10,430 --> 00:00:11,629
Yeah. Yeah.
It's Mike Dukakis.
6
00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:13,529
SAM:
Yeah.
It's Michael Dukakis.
7
00:00:13,529 --> 00:00:15,129
Let's go say
hello to him.
We can't.
8
00:00:15,129 --> 00:00:17,129
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
What'll we call him?
9
00:00:17,129 --> 00:00:18,428
What'll we call him?
Uh, Governor.
10
00:00:18,528 --> 00:00:19,428
Ex. Ex-governor.
11
00:00:19,528 --> 00:00:20,928
Ooh, yeah. Your Honor.
There you go.
12
00:00:20,928 --> 00:00:22,628
You... Your
Ex Honor.
No, no, no, no, no.
13
00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:23,628
Yeah.
Mike.
14
00:00:23,728 --> 00:00:24,828
Michael.
Duke! Duke,
Duke, Duke!
15
00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:26,827
Duke! Duke! Duke!
16
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,227
Hi. How're you doing?
SAM:
Hi.
17
00:00:28,227 --> 00:00:29,727
Hi.
18
00:00:29,727 --> 00:00:31,227
(both laughing)
19
00:00:31,227 --> 00:00:34,526
We said hello to
Michael Dukakis!
20
00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:35,926
No, no, we said hi to Mike!
21
00:00:36,026 --> 00:00:37,026
Michael.
22
00:00:37,026 --> 00:00:38,026
No, no.
Duke. Duke.
23
00:00:38,026 --> 00:00:40,226
Duke. Duke. We said
hello to Duke.
24
00:00:40,226 --> 00:00:43,125
(theme song begins)
25
00:00:45,225 --> 00:00:47,625
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
26
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:50,824
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
27
00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:53,524
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
28
00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:56,923
¶ Sure would help a lot
29
00:00:57,023 --> 00:01:00,823
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
30
00:01:02,023 --> 00:01:04,423
¶ Sometimes you want to go
31
00:01:04,423 --> 00:01:08,822
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
32
00:01:10,122 --> 00:01:14,821
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
33
00:01:14,821 --> 00:01:17,021
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
34
00:01:17,121 --> 00:01:19,621
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
35
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:23,820
¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
36
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,120
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
37
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,319
¶ People are all the same
38
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,919
¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
39
00:01:52,116 --> 00:01:53,516
Oh! Uh, uh.
Excuse me.
40
00:01:53,516 --> 00:01:54,716
Excuse me, Rebecca.
41
00:01:54,716 --> 00:01:56,116
Uh, 2:15.
42
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,116
Hey, Sammy, here you go.
43
00:01:58,116 --> 00:01:59,415
Thanks, Carla.
44
00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:00,715
Phew! That was close.
45
00:02:00,815 --> 00:02:01,915
What the hell was that?
46
00:02:01,915 --> 00:02:03,115
Sammy's vitamin E.
47
00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:04,515
It's Valentine's Day.
48
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,114
Duh!
49
00:02:06,114 --> 00:02:07,314
Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:07,314 --> 00:02:09,914
That's that stupid date
he goes on once a year
51
00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:11,714
with that-- what is that--
Lauren person.
52
00:02:11,814 --> 00:02:13,114
NORM:
Stupid?
53
00:02:13,114 --> 00:02:15,813
This is not some
stupid date, Rebecca.
54
00:02:15,813 --> 00:02:17,113
For the last
20 years,
55
00:02:17,113 --> 00:02:18,713
Sammy and Lauren have met
56
00:02:18,713 --> 00:02:20,413
for one night each year.
57
00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:22,812
It's kind of like Sammy's
version of commitment.
58
00:02:22,812 --> 00:02:24,512
Actually,
59
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,012
it's a lot like
my version of commitment.
60
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,812
SAM:
Hey, Carla,
61
00:02:28,812 --> 00:02:31,111
how long have you had this
bottle of vitamin E around, huh?
62
00:02:31,211 --> 00:02:32,811
I don't know.
A while. Why?
63
00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:38,110
What is with this date
you go on every year?
64
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,810
I mean, you know, to me,
it just... it just seems silly.
65
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:41,810
(men gasping)
Uh-oh!
66
00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:43,010
Come on, guys.
67
00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:44,509
Guys, she just
doesn't understand.
68
00:02:44,609 --> 00:02:46,909
You see, sweetheart, first
time Lauren and I met,
69
00:02:46,909 --> 00:02:49,709
we went up to
this cabin, and
we had a night
70
00:02:49,809 --> 00:02:52,308
that was totally
romantic and erotic.
71
00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:54,908
I guess you'd
call that silly.
72
00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:57,508
If you liked her so much,
73
00:02:57,508 --> 00:02:59,008
how come you only
see her once a year?
74
00:02:59,008 --> 00:03:00,807
I don't know. I don't
know. It was her idea.
75
00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:02,107
You know, she
never told me why.
76
00:03:02,107 --> 00:03:04,107
I keep meaning to ask
her, but then I forget.
77
00:03:04,207 --> 00:03:05,107
This year's going
to be different, though.
78
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:06,707
I'm gonna pin her down.
79
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,106
No, I better not do that.
80
00:03:08,106 --> 00:03:10,706
Actually, I'll forget again,
won't I?
81
00:03:10,806 --> 00:03:12,806
Well, I still say
it's a stupid way
82
00:03:12,806 --> 00:03:14,506
to spend
Valentine's Day.
Yeah, but
83
00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:15,805
that's 'cause
you don't have a date.
84
00:03:15,805 --> 00:03:17,705
Oh, yeah? I happen
to have a date
85
00:03:17,805 --> 00:03:19,805
with two very sweet gentlemen--
86
00:03:19,805 --> 00:03:21,805
Ben and Jerry.
87
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,504
Hey, you know,
88
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,304
it's just a made-up
holiday anyway.
89
00:03:26,304 --> 00:03:28,404
You know, some big fat
greeting card tycoon
90
00:03:28,404 --> 00:03:29,804
trying to get rich
91
00:03:29,904 --> 00:03:31,903
off of dopey cards
and candy hearts.
92
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,503
Don't be depressed
about that.
93
00:03:33,503 --> 00:03:35,103
Yeah, maybe
you're right.
94
00:03:35,203 --> 00:03:36,703
If you're gonna be depressed
about anything,
95
00:03:36,803 --> 00:03:37,903
it should be the fact
96
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:39,902
that you're only making
seven bucks an hour,
97
00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:43,402
your skin is starting
to flake at the hairline,
98
00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:46,001
and you're a year closer
to death.
99
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,901
Thank you, Carla.
100
00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:51,301
But, hey,
if it makes you feel any better,
101
00:03:51,301 --> 00:03:52,601
Happy Valentine's Day!
102
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,400
Woody, a couple
of pitchers, please.
103
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,500
Sure, Dr. Crane.
104
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,700
Uh, if you're
buying beer
105
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,200
for your friends
back there, Fras,
106
00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:02,899
you know, I'm,
uh... I'm available.
107
00:04:02,899 --> 00:04:04,099
(laughs)
Well...
108
00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:05,399
Actually,
they're not friends.
109
00:04:05,499 --> 00:04:06,999
It's a therapy group I have
110
00:04:06,999 --> 00:04:09,098
for men who have trouble
relating to women.
111
00:04:09,098 --> 00:04:11,098
(laughing):
Well, set
'em up, Wood.
112
00:04:13,498 --> 00:04:15,298
Ah, Frasier.
113
00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:16,198
Here you are.
114
00:04:16,198 --> 00:04:19,597
And where are the
dysfunctional men?
115
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,596
Throw a rock.
116
00:04:29,096 --> 00:04:31,096
They're in the pool room.
117
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,895
Come along, ladies.
118
00:04:32,995 --> 00:04:35,395
Why don't you go on ahead
into the poolroom and...
119
00:04:35,395 --> 00:04:39,195
make yourselves as comfortable
as five women totally hostile
120
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,394
to their own bodies can be.
121
00:04:40,394 --> 00:04:41,394
After you.
122
00:04:43,894 --> 00:04:45,994
So, uh,
what's going on back there?
123
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,993
Well, Frasier and I are both
treating same-sex groups
124
00:04:48,993 --> 00:04:50,993
with relationship disorders.
125
00:04:50,993 --> 00:04:53,593
And recent studies suggest
that there are benefits
126
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,992
to be gained by bringing
these two groups together
127
00:04:55,992 --> 00:04:57,192
for interrelations
128
00:04:57,192 --> 00:04:58,692
under controlled
social circumstance.
129
00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:00,192
Say what?
130
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:01,892
Well, come on.
131
00:05:01,992 --> 00:05:03,791
Surely you've all seen,
uh, Love Connection.
132
00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:04,991
Oh!
133
00:05:06,491 --> 00:05:09,191
G... Guys! Guys!
134
00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:10,291
What are you doing out here?
135
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:11,290
Dr. Crane, there's...
there's...
136
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:12,390
Yes, I know.
137
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,190
There's girls in there.
138
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:16,490
But you see,
you're missing the point.
139
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,590
This is exactly the type
of situation
140
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,089
we've been training for.
141
00:05:19,089 --> 00:05:21,289
This time it's the real thing,
not just me in a wig.
142
00:05:31,788 --> 00:05:33,687
Whoa!
Man, those stairs are slippery.
143
00:05:33,687 --> 00:05:36,687
Woody, I think we could use
a little salt out there.
144
00:05:36,687 --> 00:05:38,787
These pretzels could
use a little salt, too.
145
00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:41,087
My blood pressure's
actually dipping.
146
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:47,186
Boy, those patients of mine
are really hopeless.
147
00:05:47,186 --> 00:05:48,686
Well, heck,
148
00:05:48,686 --> 00:05:49,585
bring them
out here.
149
00:05:49,585 --> 00:05:51,485
This is the
hopeless room.
150
00:05:53,285 --> 00:05:55,785
Yeah, I don't know, Dr. Crane.
Haven't you ever thought
151
00:05:55,785 --> 00:05:58,584
that it's kind of tough on them,
doing all that counseling stuff?
152
00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:01,784
I mean, I was raised to believe
that if you have a problem,
153
00:06:01,784 --> 00:06:03,584
you lock it away
in a secret place.
154
00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,683
You keep it bottled up
good and tight.
155
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,583
And if it gets full in there,
156
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,383
you just keep forcing
the pain down
157
00:06:09,383 --> 00:06:11,982
and clamping it in.
158
00:06:11,982 --> 00:06:13,282
Good advice, Woody.
159
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,182
Tick, tick, tick.
160
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,881
Well, guys, I'm all packed
and ready to go.
161
00:06:24,981 --> 00:06:26,281
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
162
00:06:26,381 --> 00:06:28,080
You sure you got
everything, Sam?
163
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,380
Yup.
164
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,780
And then some.
165
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:35,679
Oh! Oh,
you dog!
166
00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:36,679
Hey!
You dog!
167
00:06:36,679 --> 00:06:37,879
Well, hey,
I'm out of here.
168
00:06:37,979 --> 00:06:39,279
No, no, no.
169
00:06:39,379 --> 00:06:40,479
No, you don't,
Sam Malone!
170
00:06:40,479 --> 00:06:41,479
SAM:
What?
171
00:06:41,479 --> 00:06:42,679
You don't just
leave here
172
00:06:42,679 --> 00:06:45,678
on your 20th-anniversary date
with Lauren just like that.
173
00:06:45,678 --> 00:06:48,178
We got something special
cooked up for you. Carla,
174
00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:49,178
hit it.
175
00:06:49,178 --> 00:06:52,177
(fanfare plays)
176
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:08,475
Ah, look at him go.
177
00:07:08,575 --> 00:07:10,175
So proud,
178
00:07:10,175 --> 00:07:11,375
so majestic,
179
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:12,775
so regal.
180
00:07:12,775 --> 00:07:14,574
(thudding, Sam grunting)
181
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,673
CARLA:
Woody,
182
00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:24,073
you never salted
those steps, did you?
183
00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:26,973
Hey, I'll get to it.
184
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:40,707
Let me see.
185
00:07:40,707 --> 00:07:42,007
I don't believe
there's a fracture,
186
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:44,007
just a serious sprain
right around lumbar three.
187
00:07:44,007 --> 00:07:45,807
Does it hurt
when I do this?
188
00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:46,907
(groaning)
189
00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:48,206
That's good.
That's good.
190
00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:50,706
Ooh. Why? Does that mean
I'm gonna get better?
191
00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:52,406
No. Because it means I know
what I'm talking about.
192
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,905
You see, Lilith, I could
so have been a real doctor.
193
00:07:56,605 --> 00:07:59,405
Hey, give me a hand here,
will you, Woody?
194
00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:00,505
Oh, geez.
195
00:08:00,505 --> 00:08:01,505
Time's a-wastin',
my friend.
196
00:08:01,505 --> 00:08:03,204
Oh, Sam, you're not
seriously thinking
197
00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:04,704
of still going on
this date, are you?
198
00:08:04,704 --> 00:08:06,904
You bet I am.
NORM:
All right!
199
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,004
(men cheering)
200
00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:09,704
Sam, I seriously
urge you
201
00:08:09,704 --> 00:08:11,403
to stay off your feet
and in bed.
202
00:08:11,503 --> 00:08:13,803
Well, that's part of
the plan, there, Fras.
203
00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:16,403
Hey, Woody, can you do me
one tiny little favor?
204
00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:17,803
Sure, Sam.
What is it?
205
00:08:17,803 --> 00:08:21,202
Can you get me up to my car,
then drive me to Vermont,
206
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:22,802
then get me
into the cabin?
207
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,002
What's in
it for me?
208
00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,701
Well, you could use
that new gas card of yours
209
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:29,301
to fill the tank.
210
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,401
All right!
I'll feel so grown up!
211
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,300
All right, Sam.
212
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,200
I'm gonna drive
you up there,
213
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,799
and I don't want you
to worry about a thing.
214
00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:44,099
I'm a very
good driver.
215
00:08:44,199 --> 00:08:45,399
Great. Great.
216
00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:47,399
Just go, please.
217
00:08:49,198 --> 00:08:51,398
¶ Ding, ding, ding.
218
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,098
What are you doing?
219
00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:56,098
"The captain is requesting
220
00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:58,797
that all passengers please
fasten their safety belts."
221
00:08:58,897 --> 00:09:01,297
Oh.
222
00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:02,497
(groans)
223
00:09:02,597 --> 00:09:04,896
C-Can you get that
for me, please?
224
00:09:04,996 --> 00:09:06,996
Sure, Sam.
225
00:09:07,096 --> 00:09:09,096
Where is that
seat belt?
(grunts)
226
00:09:09,196 --> 00:09:11,196
Here it is.
227
00:09:11,196 --> 00:09:12,395
Ow!
228
00:09:12,395 --> 00:09:13,895
That hurt!
229
00:09:13,995 --> 00:09:16,095
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:16,195 --> 00:09:17,295
(clicking seat belt)
231
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,394
Nice and snug.
232
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:23,594
Here we go.
233
00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:24,894
(car engine starts)
234
00:09:24,894 --> 00:09:26,994
Ignition, lights,
235
00:09:26,994 --> 00:09:28,993
parking brake,
236
00:09:28,993 --> 00:09:31,893
mirror, signal.
237
00:09:31,893 --> 00:09:33,093
(turn signal clicking)
238
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:35,292
Blind spot.
239
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:37,192
Vermont,
240
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:38,692
here we come.
241
00:09:40,892 --> 00:09:42,292
(brakes squeal)
Lord have mercy!
242
00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:43,991
What? What happened? Aah!
243
00:09:43,991 --> 00:09:45,291
Well, I didn't think
244
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:47,391
that pigeon was gonna
fly away in time.
245
00:09:47,491 --> 00:09:49,791
Why do they always wait
till the last minute?
246
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:52,090
What, do they think
that's funny or something?
247
00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:54,090
Aw, I don't know, Woody...
248
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:55,990
All right. All
right, Sam, hang on.
249
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,290
We're gonna pull out again.
250
00:09:57,290 --> 00:10:00,689
Mirror, signal, blind spot.
251
00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:02,189
(turn signal clicking)
252
00:10:02,189 --> 00:10:03,389
There.
253
00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:06,788
"Exit 19.
254
00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:10,188
Concord Street."
255
00:10:12,288 --> 00:10:14,187
"Exit 20."
256
00:10:15,687 --> 00:10:17,587
"Route 125."
257
00:10:17,587 --> 00:10:19,287
Woody...
258
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:20,587
Hang on, Sam.
259
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:21,886
"93 North."
260
00:10:21,886 --> 00:10:24,886
Oh, no, please,
don't read all the road signs.
261
00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:27,186
Oh, fine, Sam.
262
00:10:27,186 --> 00:10:29,385
Would you like me
to ignore the speed limit, too?
263
00:10:29,385 --> 00:10:31,585
I wouldn't mind
if you approached it.
264
00:10:31,685 --> 00:10:34,185
Meow, Sam.
265
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:36,784
(rattling)
266
00:10:36,884 --> 00:10:38,084
Sam, I hear some rattling.
267
00:10:38,084 --> 00:10:39,484
Is your door
closed all the way?
268
00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:40,684
No, it's not.
269
00:10:40,684 --> 00:10:41,784
Here, I'll get it.
270
00:10:41,784 --> 00:10:43,284
No, no, hang on.
I-I'm gonna
271
00:10:43,284 --> 00:10:46,083
pull over as soon as
I make this turn.
272
00:10:46,183 --> 00:10:47,883
(sighs)
No, don't undo
your seat belt!
273
00:10:47,983 --> 00:10:49,283
Give me a break.
274
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:50,583
Will you lighten up?
275
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:51,583
Whoa!
(thudding)
276
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:52,682
Now would that have happened
277
00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:54,882
if you'd been wearing
your safety belt?
278
00:10:59,481 --> 00:11:01,981
Now boys,
girls,
279
00:11:01,981 --> 00:11:05,181
I have an orange
under my chin.
280
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:08,080
I am going to attempt to
pass it to this lovely woman,
281
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,280
whom I do not fear.
282
00:11:16,279 --> 00:11:18,579
Now you see,
isn't that fun?
283
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,679
Whoa!
284
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,278
Now, why don't you
have a crack at it?
285
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:24,578
Edward, how about you?
286
00:11:24,578 --> 00:11:26,078
Come on.
287
00:11:26,178 --> 00:11:27,678
Here we are.
That's lovely.
288
00:11:27,678 --> 00:11:29,278
Okay. Ready?
289
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:31,477
Yes. Good, good,
good, yes.
290
00:11:33,977 --> 00:11:36,577
I don't think I want
to do this, Dr. Crane.
291
00:11:36,577 --> 00:11:38,476
Oh, all right!
292
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:40,076
And what would you
suggest that we do?
293
00:11:40,076 --> 00:11:41,276
Stare at one another?
294
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:43,876
Lord knows you've all had
enough practice at that!
295
00:11:43,876 --> 00:11:45,376
You're pressuring
them, Doctor.
296
00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:47,175
Oh, you're right, darling. Uh...
297
00:11:47,175 --> 00:11:48,775
You know, perhaps
we should try
298
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,175
a different approach.
299
00:11:50,175 --> 00:11:51,975
You know, there is
300
00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:54,874
a technique pioneered
in the early 60's,
301
00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:56,274
which is thought
to be without peer
302
00:11:56,374 --> 00:11:58,974
in producing the social
effect that we seek.
303
00:11:58,974 --> 00:12:00,574
I'm referring,
of course, to...
304
00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:03,573
Twister!
305
00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:05,473
LILITH:
Left foot blue.
306
00:12:11,472 --> 00:12:12,372
(door opens)
307
00:12:15,372 --> 00:12:16,571
Oh, yeah.
308
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,571
Ah, this place is going to see
some action tonight.
309
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,570
Oh, Sam, you've still
got a little gravel
310
00:12:29,570 --> 00:12:30,770
stuck to the back
of your neck.
311
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,669
Yeah? Well, I like
it like that.
312
00:12:33,769 --> 00:12:34,969
Just get me
on the bed there.
313
00:12:35,069 --> 00:12:37,469
You can take off and come
pick me up in the morning.
314
00:12:37,569 --> 00:12:38,769
(car approaching)
315
00:12:38,869 --> 00:12:40,768
Oh, hey, that's
Lauren's car there.
316
00:12:40,768 --> 00:12:42,568
Oh, great! I'm really looking
forward to meeting her.
317
00:12:42,568 --> 00:12:44,668
No, no, man. You g...
you got to get out of here.
318
00:12:44,668 --> 00:12:46,468
If she sees you, she's gonna
think something's wrong.
319
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:48,267
It'll ruin the mood.
Just quick-- get out the window.
320
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,167
Go on!
Oh, sure.
321
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:52,167
"Quick, out the window."
322
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:54,467
Not exactly the undying
thanks and gratitude
323
00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:57,866
I might expect after driving
200 miles through the snow.
324
00:12:57,966 --> 00:12:59,566
Would you just shut up
and move your butt?
325
00:12:59,566 --> 00:13:00,666
Oh, that's much better, Sam.
326
00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:02,266
That'll keep me warm
on the drive home.
327
00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:12,164
Sam, there's a door here.
328
00:13:12,164 --> 00:13:14,164
Why'd I go
out the window?
329
00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:15,664
Would you get out of here?!
330
00:13:15,764 --> 00:13:17,664
Go on!
331
00:13:28,362 --> 00:13:30,662
Happy Valentine's Day, Sam.
332
00:13:30,662 --> 00:13:32,762
Happy Valentine's Day, Lauren.
333
00:13:32,862 --> 00:13:33,861
Aww... wait.
334
00:13:33,861 --> 00:13:35,561
Why? Wh-what are you doing?
335
00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:37,761
I want to get a running start.
No-no!
336
00:13:37,861 --> 00:13:39,061
No! No! Lauren!
337
00:13:39,061 --> 00:13:40,860
Nooooo!
338
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,459
Now you have to play
by the rules.
339
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,159
The bottle is clearly
pointing at Jill.
340
00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:55,359
Now, Jules, you
have to kiss her.
341
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,758
I pass.
342
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:58,958
For the hundredth time,
you cannot pass!
343
00:13:59,058 --> 00:14:00,158
Okay, I quit.
344
00:14:04,357 --> 00:14:07,357
Perhaps it's time
we admit our failure.
345
00:14:07,357 --> 00:14:09,457
It was a well-intentioned
experiment,
346
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,257
but we realize now
that you're not ready
347
00:14:11,357 --> 00:14:13,156
for this type of
social interaction.
348
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,956
I guess we can only
conclude by saying,
349
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,856
"Oh, well."
350
00:14:19,056 --> 00:14:20,055
FRASIER:
No!
351
00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:21,555
I'm not giving up!
352
00:14:21,555 --> 00:14:23,455
How difficult can it
be to kiss a woman?
353
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:25,055
Be a little assertive
for once in your life!
354
00:14:26,455 --> 00:14:28,254
Now you see how
easy that was? Again.
355
00:14:29,354 --> 00:14:30,354
Again!
356
00:14:40,953 --> 00:14:42,352
Class dismissed.
Let's go, hon.
357
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,451
(Lauren moans)
358
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:00,150
Sam, is something wrong?
359
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,550
Mm-mm, why?
360
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,350
You're biting your lip.
Mm.
361
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,050
Usually, you bite my lip.
(chuckles)
362
00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:07,849
I'm sorry.
363
00:15:07,849 --> 00:15:09,449
I have an idea.
Ow!
364
00:15:13,348 --> 00:15:15,248
(sultry music plays)
365
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,848
Let's dance the way
we used to, Sam.
366
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:22,647
(chuckles)
367
00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:25,047
You know something,
we always dance.
368
00:15:25,147 --> 00:15:26,647
W-Why don't we just, uh...
369
00:15:26,647 --> 00:15:30,146
why don't we just sit
very still, huh?
370
00:15:31,946 --> 00:15:34,646
Yeah, i-it could become
a new tradition for us.
371
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:37,345
Come on, Sam,
let's slow dance.
372
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:39,145
(grunts):
No!
373
00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:41,345
You like that, huh?
374
00:15:41,345 --> 00:15:43,045
Hey, I've got a great idea here.
375
00:15:43,045 --> 00:15:45,044
Let's, uh, tell you what.
376
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:48,444
You want to learn that new dance
that's sweeping Boston?
377
00:15:48,444 --> 00:15:49,544
I'm game.
What do we do?
378
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:53,543
The guy kind of stands
like this, very still.
379
00:15:53,543 --> 00:15:54,843
And sometimes
380
00:15:54,943 --> 00:15:57,043
he leans up against something.
381
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,942
And pretty soon his legs
start to tremble.
382
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,542
Sort of the way
yours are now.
383
00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:02,742
Yeah, yeah.
384
00:16:02,742 --> 00:16:04,242
There, you like it?
(snapping fingers)
385
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,641
Well, what does
the girl do?
386
00:16:08,741 --> 00:16:10,841
Usually she runs for some ice.
387
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,740
You don't want to dance,
do you, Sam?
388
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,040
No, you know, the truth is,
I really don't.
389
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,340
Sam, what's going on?
390
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,140
What do you mean?
391
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,040
Never mind.
392
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,140
I think I know.
393
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,139
(music stops)
394
00:16:23,139 --> 00:16:25,039
I mean, it's obvious.
395
00:16:25,039 --> 00:16:27,439
I'm not exactly as young
as I used to be and, um...
396
00:16:27,539 --> 00:16:28,639
Oh, sweetheart, wait a minute.
397
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:30,238
Wait, is that what you think?
398
00:16:30,338 --> 00:16:31,738
Well, it's okay.
You can level with me.
399
00:16:31,738 --> 00:16:33,038
I've gotten too old for you.
400
00:16:33,138 --> 00:16:36,238
Oh, no. Listen, age has nothing
to do with it.
401
00:16:36,238 --> 00:16:39,437
You-- you are still
as young and sexy
402
00:16:39,537 --> 00:16:41,637
as that first day
403
00:16:41,737 --> 00:16:44,437
and night and next morning
that we met.
404
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,736
Really, Sam?
405
00:16:45,836 --> 00:16:48,636
Then why are you acting
so standoffish?
406
00:16:48,636 --> 00:16:51,636
Yeah... oh, honey, I've got
to level with you here.
407
00:16:51,736 --> 00:16:53,135
Sweetie, I fell down
the steps today.
408
00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:54,935
I threw my back out.
I can barely move.
409
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,335
Oh...
410
00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:58,935
Well, I'm not surprised,
a man your age.
411
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,733
Hey, look!
412
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,633
That cute guy,
with the hairy knuckles,
413
00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:19,032
he just left me a five buck tip
inside this Valentine.
414
00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:20,132
How 'bout that?
415
00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:28,331
So what?
416
00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:29,631
I thought that we...
417
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,930
didn't care...
418
00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:33,930
about that...
419
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:35,830
stupid made-up...
420
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,630
Valentine corporate garbage.
421
00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:47,028
That's just
what losers say
422
00:17:47,128 --> 00:17:48,228
when they don't get any.
423
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:51,528
But I got one,
and at 11:40.
424
00:17:51,628 --> 00:17:53,028
Right under the wire.
425
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,227
Whoa, I almost pulled
a Rebecca that time.
426
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,927
That's not very nice, Carla.
427
00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:02,526
You're right.
428
00:18:02,526 --> 00:18:03,926
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:03,926 --> 00:18:06,126
I almost forgot.
430
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,426
Guess who called you
to wish you a Happy
431
00:18:08,426 --> 00:18:09,326
Valentine's Day?
Who?
432
00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:11,325
Nobody!
433
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:19,324
Well, don't you
worry there, Rebecca.
434
00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:20,924
Nobody's a loser
on this day.
435
00:18:20,924 --> 00:18:22,124
I'm not going to, uh,
436
00:18:22,124 --> 00:18:24,624
let you leave the bar
empty-handed.
437
00:18:24,624 --> 00:18:26,123
What's this?
438
00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:28,723
It's a Valentine's
card I got for Ma,
439
00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:32,123
but I, I think it
suits you better.
440
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:33,822
Gee, Cliff, thanks.
441
00:18:33,922 --> 00:18:36,222
Hey! Carla!
442
00:18:36,222 --> 00:18:38,322
I did get one!
443
00:18:38,322 --> 00:18:39,722
So, uh...
444
00:18:39,722 --> 00:18:41,121
what am I gonna get for it?
445
00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:45,221
What do you mean?
446
00:18:45,221 --> 00:18:48,620
Eh, come on, baby,
swing a little.
447
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:54,920
What?
448
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,119
Well, according to Fras, uh,
449
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,519
babes like guys
who are assertive.
450
00:18:59,519 --> 00:19:01,219
Aw, come on,
451
00:19:01,319 --> 00:19:02,319
Robin's not here,
452
00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:04,618
Sam's out of the picture.
453
00:19:04,618 --> 00:19:07,118
You've had the rest,
now try the best.
454
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,016
Happy Valentine's Day, Cliff.
455
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,815
Thank you.
456
00:19:37,614 --> 00:19:40,114
Cliffie, uh, where--
where is ev...
457
00:19:40,114 --> 00:19:42,313
Cliffie?
458
00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:44,113
(snaps fingers)
459
00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:46,113
Cliffie!
460
00:20:01,011 --> 00:20:02,511
Thank you.
461
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,510
I've had 20-20 vision
all my life.
462
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:10,010
Now when I go
to a restaurant,
463
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,510
I have to have someone
at the next table
464
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,909
hold the menu so
I can read it.
465
00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:14,409
(both chuckle)
466
00:20:14,409 --> 00:20:16,609
No, you know what the worst
thing about old age is?
467
00:20:16,609 --> 00:20:19,509
It's when you get so old that
the skin under your arms
468
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:23,908
starts getting loose
and hanging like turkey wattle.
469
00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:25,908
I thought that
only happened to women.
470
00:20:25,908 --> 00:20:28,008
Yeah, that's what I meant.
471
00:20:29,307 --> 00:20:33,007
I just, you know, I hate
to see it, that's all.
472
00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,807
Has your doctor put
you on a bran diet?
473
00:20:35,807 --> 00:20:37,806
Oh, yeah, God...
474
00:20:37,906 --> 00:20:40,906
Oh, I tell you--
oh, thank you. Oh!
475
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,106
Last year was the worst.
476
00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:45,005
You know, I went in for this
stomach problem.
477
00:20:45,105 --> 00:20:47,605
Turned out I had a stone
the size of a golf ball.
478
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:49,205
Took me a month to pass it.
479
00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:51,504
Sam, has your hair
started turning gray?
480
00:20:51,604 --> 00:20:53,004
Hey, hey. You're getting
a little personal there.
481
00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:55,004
Aren't you?
482
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,804
Sam, look, it's
getting light out.
483
00:20:56,904 --> 00:20:58,604
We've been
talking all night.
484
00:20:58,604 --> 00:21:01,003
Oh, hey, how about that?
485
00:21:01,003 --> 00:21:03,803
Wow! You know, that's...
that's a first.
486
00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:05,203
Kind of nice to know
that we have
487
00:21:05,203 --> 00:21:07,202
something in common
besides our bodies.
488
00:21:07,202 --> 00:21:09,202
Oh, yeah, we have
the deterioration
489
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:10,402
of our bodies.
Yeah.
490
00:21:11,702 --> 00:21:13,302
Well, I've got
a long drive ahead.
491
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:14,601
I better get started.
492
00:21:14,601 --> 00:21:15,901
Oh, no. Wait, wait.
493
00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,301
Wait a second here, listen.
494
00:21:17,301 --> 00:21:19,501
Honey, y-you can't go now.
495
00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:21,401
I mean, we barely spent
the night together.
496
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,900
W-Why can't you stay?
497
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:25,300
Oh, Sam, I would love to,
but you know how this works.
498
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:26,700
Just one night a year.
499
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,300
Yeah, but that's
a stupid rule, you know that?
500
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,599
I never have understood that.
501
00:21:30,599 --> 00:21:31,899
W-Why can't you stay?
502
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:34,299
I have to get to Portland
by Presidents' Day.
503
00:21:34,299 --> 00:21:36,799
There's a linebacker
I always meet there.
504
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,498
You, you do this
with other guys?
505
00:21:41,498 --> 00:21:42,998
Well, you have other
women, don't you?
506
00:21:42,998 --> 00:21:45,098
Well, yeah, but not once a year.
507
00:21:46,997 --> 00:21:49,297
I mean, I thought I was
special to you.
508
00:21:49,297 --> 00:21:50,697
Oh, Sam, you are.
509
00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,796
You'll always be
my Valentine.
510
00:21:57,696 --> 00:21:58,996
Next year.
511
00:21:58,996 --> 00:22:00,795
Yeah, all right.
512
00:22:00,795 --> 00:22:02,195
Bye-bye.
513
00:22:03,695 --> 00:22:07,195
Listen, I could start seeing you
on Arbor Day, too.
514
00:22:07,195 --> 00:22:08,095
Really?
Mm-hmm.
515
00:22:08,095 --> 00:22:09,394
Oh, great!
516
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,794
Don't you see another guy
on Arbor Day, though?
517
00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:12,894
I did, but he died.
518
00:22:14,794 --> 00:22:15,794
How?
519
00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:17,093
Happy.
520
00:22:17,293 --> 00:22:19,593
Okay, okay.
521
00:22:19,693 --> 00:22:22,293
Yeah, yeah.
We'll do it next time.
522
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:40,690
Thank you...36076
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