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1
00:00:01,683 --> 00:00:04,384
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,884 --> 00:00:07,885
(wrench clicking)
3
00:00:07,885 --> 00:00:09,885
Oh, no!
4
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:10,985
You got some car trouble?
5
00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:12,185
Oh, yeah.
6
00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:14,186
Every time it gets cold,
my stupid battery dies.
7
00:00:14,186 --> 00:00:15,186
Gotta get a new one?
8
00:00:15,286 --> 00:00:16,786
Ugh! No, that's
all right.
9
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,487
I got one
right here.
10
00:00:18,587 --> 00:00:19,687
(grunts)
11
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,087
Here. Norm,
close the hood.
12
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,187
Start walking
real fast.
13
00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:29,889
(theme song begins)
14
00:00:31,989 --> 00:00:34,290
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
15
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:37,490
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
16
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:40,191
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
17
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,691
¶ Sure would help a lot
18
00:00:43,691 --> 00:00:47,592
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
19
00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:51,093
¶ Sometimes you want to go
20
00:00:51,193 --> 00:00:55,594
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
21
00:00:56,894 --> 00:01:01,495
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
22
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,795
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
23
00:01:03,795 --> 00:01:06,296
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
24
00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:10,596
¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
25
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,797
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
26
00:01:13,897 --> 00:01:17,098
¶ People are all the same
27
00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:21,698
¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
28
00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:42,702
Hey, guys, how do I look?
29
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,103
NORM:
Ooh!
Hey!
30
00:01:44,203 --> 00:01:45,903
Major spiffy!
31
00:01:45,903 --> 00:01:47,603
Oh, that's right! Today's
the big day, isn't it?
32
00:01:47,703 --> 00:01:50,204
Yup. Kelly's coming back
from France.
33
00:01:50,304 --> 00:01:51,504
Ah! She's hopping the pond, eh?
34
00:01:51,604 --> 00:01:53,304
The what?
35
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,905
The pond. It's a reference
to the Atlantic.
36
00:01:56,005 --> 00:01:59,005
Uh, the Atlantic is an ocean,
not a pond, Dr. Crane.
37
00:02:00,806 --> 00:02:02,406
How many of those
have you had?
38
00:02:04,806 --> 00:02:06,907
Apparently, not enough.
39
00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:08,807
Boy, I am
really nervous.
40
00:02:09,007 --> 00:02:12,308
It seems like
Kelly's been gone a year.
41
00:02:12,408 --> 00:02:13,608
How long has she been gone?
42
00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:15,408
A year.
43
00:02:16,809 --> 00:02:18,109
Can I put some ice
44
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:20,009
in that drink for
you, Dr. Crane?
45
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:23,810
Hey, guys!
46
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,911
I just put a down payment
on immortality!
47
00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:28,611
Oh, yeah? What are
you talking about?
48
00:02:28,711 --> 00:02:29,911
I'm s... I'm sorry.
49
00:02:30,011 --> 00:02:32,612
It just slipped out.
50
00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:34,912
The miracle of cryogenics.
51
00:02:34,912 --> 00:02:36,712
Oh, that thing
where they freeze you?
52
00:02:36,712 --> 00:02:38,213
Yeah. Go ahead,
take a look.
53
00:02:38,313 --> 00:02:41,013
You know, when my number
is up, uh, I'll be frozen
54
00:02:41,013 --> 00:02:42,814
and preserved
in a subzero container
55
00:02:42,914 --> 00:02:45,514
moments after a doctor
declares me legally brain dead.
56
00:02:45,614 --> 00:02:47,614
Boy, that's a tough call.
57
00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:51,015
You know, in this brochure,
58
00:02:51,115 --> 00:02:53,516
the containers look
kind of small.
59
00:02:53,516 --> 00:02:55,016
They don't freeze
your entire body.
60
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:56,316
No, just the brain pan.
61
00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:58,316
They cut off your head
and freeze it?
62
00:02:58,316 --> 00:03:01,817
Uh-huh.
What do they do with the rest
of your body, throw it away?
63
00:03:01,817 --> 00:03:02,917
Well, it's a start.
64
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,618
NORM:
Cliff, uh,
65
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,718
this corporation
wouldn't be owned
66
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:07,818
by a dog food
company, would it?
67
00:03:09,218 --> 00:03:10,619
SAM:
I want to get
this straight. So,
68
00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:12,619
when it's time for you
to thaw out, what do they do?
69
00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:14,319
They, like, uh, put your head
in a plastic bag
70
00:03:14,419 --> 00:03:16,320
and plop you in some
boiling water for three minutes?
71
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,920
CARLA:
Sammy!
72
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:21,521
Sammy, this is science,
not Lean Cuisine.
73
00:03:21,521 --> 00:03:22,821
Hey, Clavin on ice.
74
00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:24,721
That's nice.
75
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:26,522
FRASIER:
Now, wait a minute.
76
00:03:26,522 --> 00:03:28,122
Why is everybody
making fun of Cliff?
77
00:03:28,222 --> 00:03:30,022
Now, I'm not saying
that I believe
78
00:03:30,022 --> 00:03:32,623
that Cliff's severed head
will be brought back to life
79
00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:34,723
in the year 2278 to
charm and delight
80
00:03:34,723 --> 00:03:36,524
a new generation
of Bostonians,
81
00:03:36,624 --> 00:03:37,824
but who knows?
82
00:03:37,924 --> 00:03:39,724
I mean, who can
predict the future?
83
00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:41,224
CARLA:
Hey,
84
00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:45,325
look, everybody--
it's Clavin's family reunion!
85
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,226
That's it, I'm out of here.
86
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,426
I'll have real friends
in 2278!
87
00:03:49,426 --> 00:03:50,926
NORM:
Oh, yeah.
88
00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:54,227
You and the other severed heads
can go bowling or something.
89
00:03:54,227 --> 00:03:56,327
(laughter)
90
00:03:57,227 --> 00:03:59,528
Hello, Woody!
91
00:03:59,528 --> 00:04:01,228
Kelly!
92
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,629
Boy, I've missed
you, Kelly!
93
00:04:03,729 --> 00:04:05,229
I've missed you,
too, Woody.
Ah.
94
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,729
I brought you
a present.
95
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,730
It's a real
French beret.
96
00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,530
¶ Tada!
Oh, wow!
97
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:11,830
It was between this one
98
00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,431
and the one
with the arrow through it.
99
00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:18,131
Oh, well, this
one's nice, too.
100
00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:20,032
Surprise! I got them both!
101
00:04:20,132 --> 00:04:21,432
Oh!
102
00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:22,732
This is gonna be fun.
103
00:04:22,832 --> 00:04:24,933
This is gonna be
just like old times.
104
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:25,733
I can't wait.
105
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,633
So what do you
feel like doing?
106
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,433
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
107
00:04:29,533 --> 00:04:31,234
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
108
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:34,634
Gosh, this is just
like old times.
109
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:38,435
Listen, maybe Henri
will know what to do.
Who?
110
00:04:38,535 --> 00:04:41,736
Henri, my new best friend
from Paris.
111
00:04:41,836 --> 00:04:43,336
Woody, this is Henri.
112
00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:44,436
Henri, this
is Woody.
113
00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:45,636
Ah, Woody.
114
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,737
Yes, I've heard
so much about you. Yeah.
115
00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:49,437
Give me 40 bucks,
please.
116
00:04:49,437 --> 00:04:51,438
I have to pay
for the cab.
117
00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,138
Thanks.
118
00:04:55,238 --> 00:04:57,039
I'll be right back.
119
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,241
Kelly, that guy just
take me for 40 bucks,
120
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,041
kiss you twice
and leave?
121
00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:12,942
Woody, you're so American!
122
00:05:12,942 --> 00:05:15,642
Henri is my photography teacher.
123
00:05:15,742 --> 00:05:17,142
He's the greatest.
124
00:05:17,242 --> 00:05:18,943
He showed me
all of Paris,
125
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,443
taught me all
about French food,
126
00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:23,444
taught me not to be ashamed
of my body, and he...
127
00:05:23,544 --> 00:05:25,544
he lectured me
in history and art.
128
00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:26,744
Wait. Wait. Wait.
129
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:29,645
C-Can we go back
to that body thing?
130
00:05:29,745 --> 00:05:31,845
Henri took some
art photographs of me.
131
00:05:31,845 --> 00:05:34,246
They were very tasteful.
132
00:05:34,446 --> 00:05:35,946
Now, hold on.
133
00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:37,046
You-You guys aren't...
134
00:05:37,146 --> 00:05:39,747
Ugh! No, of
course not!
135
00:05:39,747 --> 00:05:41,147
He's just here on vacation.
136
00:05:41,247 --> 00:05:42,547
Sure, he's always joking
137
00:05:42,547 --> 00:05:44,948
about how he's gonna
steal me away from you,
138
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,948
but he's only kidding.
139
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,549
Are you sure?
140
00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:53,349
Henri, you're
gonna love this.
141
00:05:53,449 --> 00:05:55,049
Woody thinks
you really are...
142
00:05:55,049 --> 00:05:57,150
(snickering):
...trying to steal me
away from him.
143
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,150
Oh...!
144
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,150
(laughs)
145
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:02,151
Oh, that's so funny.
146
00:06:04,351 --> 00:06:05,951
I am, you know.
147
00:06:07,252 --> 00:06:09,552
Right out from
under your nose.
148
00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:10,852
(Henri laughs)
149
00:06:11,052 --> 00:06:12,353
See how he is, Woody?
150
00:06:12,453 --> 00:06:14,153
He really cracks me up.
151
00:06:14,153 --> 00:06:16,353
(laughing):
Yeah, that's a good one.
152
00:06:18,454 --> 00:06:20,854
Now, I got one for you, Henri.
153
00:06:20,954 --> 00:06:22,955
Get your hands off
my girlfriend.
154
00:06:22,955 --> 00:06:25,355
Henri, if you'll
excuse us a moment.
155
00:06:26,955 --> 00:06:29,856
Woody, I think you
were a little rude
to Henri just now.
156
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,356
Yeah, well, I think
Henri was a little rude, too.
157
00:06:32,456 --> 00:06:34,657
He's supposed to be
rude; he's French.
158
00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:38,057
I'm, uh, Sam Malone,
by the way.
159
00:06:38,157 --> 00:06:39,958
Oh! I've heard
about you in France.
160
00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:42,358
Oh, yeah.
You follow baseball?
161
00:06:42,558 --> 00:06:43,659
No. Stewardesses.
162
00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:45,659
Oh.
163
00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:50,260
Uh, when I first came in,
164
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,660
I was afraid that
you were Woody, uh, but
165
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,061
then when I saw the real thing,
I was most relieved.
166
00:06:56,161 --> 00:06:57,961
Why's that?
167
00:06:58,061 --> 00:06:59,962
Heh. No competition.
168
00:07:00,062 --> 00:07:01,462
I could steal Kelly
169
00:07:01,562 --> 00:07:04,362
with both hands
tied behind my back.
170
00:07:04,362 --> 00:07:06,263
Ooh!
171
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,664
Listen, Kelly's
Woody's girlfriend.
172
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:16,965
I'm sure you could have
any woman you wanted.
173
00:07:17,065 --> 00:07:22,766
I know, but, uh, Kelly
is so innocent and naive.
174
00:07:22,766 --> 00:07:24,566
I love to change that.
175
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,067
Boy, I'm kind
of torn here.
176
00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,667
I mean, Woody's my
closest friend,
177
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,667
but that is a real
solid argument.
178
00:07:38,169 --> 00:07:40,869
You know, Woody may surprise
you there, you know.
179
00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:42,369
He's, uh... looks
like a pushover,
180
00:07:42,469 --> 00:07:44,170
but he's got his
way with women.
181
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:46,270
Oh, no, I've been shot
through the head!
182
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:48,471
I've been shot
through the head!
183
00:07:48,571 --> 00:07:51,371
I'll take my chances.
184
00:07:57,772 --> 00:07:59,473
(Henri and Kelly laughing)
185
00:07:59,573 --> 00:08:01,273
Come on, Woody.
186
00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,873
Woody, how about
this one?
187
00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:05,174
Knock, knock.
188
00:08:05,274 --> 00:08:06,574
Who's there?
189
00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,974
Henri, the guy who's going
to steal your girlfriend.
190
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,575
KELLY:
Now, Henri,
191
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,375
this is getting
a little tiresome.
192
00:08:14,475 --> 00:08:15,576
Oh?
193
00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:16,776
I'm kidding.
194
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:18,876
It's really cute.
195
00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,377
Oh. Woody, why don't you
get us some drinks?
196
00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:26,978
Three sodas, Sam.
197
00:08:26,978 --> 00:08:28,278
You know, Woody,
I... I'd watch out
198
00:08:28,378 --> 00:08:29,778
for that guy,
if I were you.
199
00:08:29,878 --> 00:08:32,179
Oh, I know he's annoying, Carla,
200
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:36,180
but Kelly swears that he's just
joking around to get my goat.
201
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,280
I don't think
he's joking around there, Woody.
202
00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:39,780
Yeah, I don't
think so, either.
203
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,681
I mean, the French
aren't exactly known
204
00:08:41,681 --> 00:08:43,081
for their
sense of humor.
205
00:08:43,081 --> 00:08:45,381
What do you mean?
206
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,182
Well, let me put
it this way:
207
00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:50,682
Their, uh, comic hero
is Jerry Lewis.
208
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,683
What's your point?
209
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:59,484
Yeah.
What's your point?
210
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,385
Oh, Henri,
that's impossible!
211
00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:04,785
No one can do that!
212
00:09:04,885 --> 00:09:06,085
No. It's true.
213
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,285
I'll show you.
214
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:08,686
What are you guys doing?
215
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:10,786
Henri says he can
teach me to tie a knot
216
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:13,286
in a cherry stem
with my tongue.
217
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,087
Here, uh, we'll
demonstrate.
218
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,687
I'll be the
cherry stem.
219
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,787
Hold it. Hold it.
220
00:09:18,787 --> 00:09:19,888
That's it, frogman.
221
00:09:19,988 --> 00:09:21,388
Get away
from my girlfriend!
222
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,888
I know what you're thinking.
223
00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,889
You're thinking you're more
sophisticated than me,
224
00:09:25,989 --> 00:09:28,089
and classier than me,
and smarter than me,
225
00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:30,890
and that... and that you got
better hair than mine,
226
00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,590
and that you're taller
than me,
227
00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,591
and-and you got
that strong jaw line.
228
00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:37,891
What was my point?
229
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:40,892
Oh, yeah--
you get out of here
230
00:09:40,992 --> 00:09:43,892
before I kick your butt
back to the Eiffel Tower!
231
00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:46,893
Very well.
232
00:09:46,993 --> 00:09:49,093
But I do feel I
should be allowed
233
00:09:49,093 --> 00:09:51,093
to say something
in my defense.
234
00:09:51,194 --> 00:09:52,794
Go ahead.
235
00:09:52,894 --> 00:09:55,394
I'm going to steal
your girlfriend.
236
00:10:15,769 --> 00:10:18,170
I can't believe
Kelly would be so mad at me
237
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,870
just 'cause
I stood up to Henri.
238
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,170
It's like
she's starting
239
00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:23,070
to like him
better than me.
240
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:26,671
Hey, Sam, you don't
think that...
241
00:10:26,671 --> 00:10:29,772
maybe they've
been to...
242
00:10:29,772 --> 00:10:32,272
To the back of the barn?
243
00:10:32,272 --> 00:10:35,573
I was gonna say
to bed together.
244
00:10:38,373 --> 00:10:40,074
What-What is the
back of the barn?
245
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:42,074
What does that mean?
246
00:10:43,674 --> 00:10:46,775
That-That's-That's where
the compost heap is.
247
00:10:52,576 --> 00:10:55,276
I can't think of any
place less romantic.
248
00:11:05,178 --> 00:11:07,579
I don't think they've
slept together yet, Woody,
249
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,579
but I-I would be concerned
about Henri.
250
00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:11,680
I mean, I know
guys like this.
251
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:13,980
I mean, I am
a guy like this.
252
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,881
Well, what can I do, Sam?
253
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,281
Well, how's-how's
your love life?
254
00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:21,681
I mean, the physical part?
255
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,682
Well, I can't
speak for Kelly,
256
00:11:23,782 --> 00:11:25,282
but I'm looking
forward to it.
257
00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:31,883
You're-You're telling me
258
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,584
that-that you and Kelly
haven't slept together?
259
00:11:34,684 --> 00:11:36,484
Well, uh, we-we did once,
260
00:11:36,584 --> 00:11:38,385
when we went to
see Old Gringo,
261
00:11:38,385 --> 00:11:40,085
but the whole
row was snoring.
262
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:46,486
Well, I... You know,
263
00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:48,886
I think this may be
your problem here, Wood.
264
00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:51,887
Well, I always figured
265
00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:53,887
we'd wait until after
we were married.
266
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,188
That's-That's the
way everybody in
Hanover does it.
267
00:11:56,288 --> 00:11:58,788
Except for that couple
that teaches art at
the high school.
268
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:05,390
I think waiting for marriage
is a wonderful idea.
269
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,990
REBECCA:
I wish I had.
270
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:09,790
I also wish that I had
studied harder in college
271
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,691
and maybe gone
for a different career.
272
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:14,791
Maybe engineering.
273
00:12:14,891 --> 00:12:17,292
And, you know,
Boston was a bad move.
274
00:12:19,092 --> 00:12:20,192
And then, I mean, of course,
275
00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:22,693
you can't choose
your own parents.
276
00:12:22,693 --> 00:12:24,993
But if I could have,
I would have chosen two
277
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,894
that were more supportive,
you know, like Brian Keith
278
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:30,294
and Maureen O'Hara
in The Parent Trap.
279
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,595
Woody, is this helping you?
280
00:12:34,695 --> 00:12:36,695
Well, even if it isn't,
281
00:12:36,695 --> 00:12:38,196
just thinking about
The Parent Trap
282
00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:39,896
for a moment
made me feel good.
283
00:12:49,698 --> 00:12:52,398
What do you think about
premarital sex, Mr. P?
284
00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:55,899
Well, Wood, there's an
old saying, you know, uh...
285
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:58,399
"Why buy the cow when you can
get the milk for free?"
286
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,100
Then of course,
you, uh, you get married,
287
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,001
you wake up one day and realize:
288
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,901
"Oh, my God.
I've married a cow."
289
00:13:20,204 --> 00:13:22,104
Thanks, Mr. P.
290
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,905
Hey, uh, Sam,
what if we do it
291
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,505
and it becomes
like a crutch,
292
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:29,805
and we rely on it for
the rest of our lives?
293
00:13:29,905 --> 00:13:32,106
Well, then you know
you did it right.
294
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:33,506
But you better hurry
295
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:35,406
or Henri's gonna
beat you to it.
296
00:13:37,507 --> 00:13:39,207
All right.
297
00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:40,507
I'm gonna go
through with it.
298
00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:41,507
All right!
299
00:13:41,507 --> 00:13:42,708
WOODY:
Yeah, right.
300
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:44,208
But if it's gonna happen,
301
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:45,908
it's gotta be wonderful.
302
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,409
Where can we go?
303
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:49,509
We can't go to her place,
'cause her Dad's home.
304
00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:52,209
Well, then why don't you
go to a motel?
305
00:13:52,209 --> 00:13:56,110
This is all second nature
to you, isn't it, Sam?
306
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,912
Look at him.
307
00:14:08,012 --> 00:14:10,113
Walking out of here a boy,
308
00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:11,913
and he's gonna come back...
309
00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:14,414
a happy boy.
310
00:14:14,514 --> 00:14:16,514
Everyone!
311
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:19,115
This is Dr. Eugene
Eckworth,
312
00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:22,515
a renowned scientist
and surgeon.
313
00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:24,616
A man who not only
believes in cryogenics,
314
00:14:24,716 --> 00:14:27,016
but has just performed
the procedure
315
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,116
you all scorned
so zestfully.
316
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,517
Yes, I'm in the process
of transferring
317
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:34,717
one of our thermostatic clients
to a storage facility.
318
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:37,718
My good friend, Frasier, asked
me to stop by for a drink.
319
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,319
You-You telling me you brought
320
00:14:43,419 --> 00:14:45,219
a severed head into the bar?
321
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,920
Oh, man, we gotta have a policy
against that, don't we?
322
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,620
CLIFF:
Hey.
323
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,021
Don't worry, it's,
uh, it's frozen.
324
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,721
It's not like it's gonna
go bad or anything.
325
00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:58,722
Hey, a game of pool, Gene?
You can leave the head there.
326
00:14:58,822 --> 00:15:00,222
Oh, that's just fine.
327
00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:03,923
Ooh, weird-looking box.
328
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:05,423
What's in there?
329
00:15:05,523 --> 00:15:07,123
Um, I don't know.
330
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,624
Why don't you look?
331
00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,124
Okay.
No! No-no, don't do that!
332
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:13,125
There's a frozen severed
head in that thing.
333
00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:16,725
Oh, give me a break, Sam.
334
00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,726
She's right.
There's no head in there.
335
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,526
Then why doesn't
somebody open it?
336
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,026
Yeah, you're kind of in charge
337
00:15:22,126 --> 00:15:24,027
of all body parts around here,
aren't you, Sam?
338
00:15:25,727 --> 00:15:28,627
All right, we'll--
I'll open it up
339
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,828
take a quick look, see that
there's no head in there
340
00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:33,228
and then I'll just shut it
up again, all right?
Okay.
341
00:15:34,429 --> 00:15:36,329
(chuckles):
This...
342
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,831
Well?
343
00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:46,131
I can't see anything
in there.
344
00:15:46,231 --> 00:15:47,331
MALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Help me.
345
00:15:47,331 --> 00:15:48,731
(all screaming)
346
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,432
CLIFF:
Ha! Ha! Hey!
347
00:15:52,532 --> 00:15:55,933
Hey! Well, look who's
laughing now, huh?
348
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:59,633
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Help me... Help me...
349
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,034
(switch clicks)
350
00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:05,234
Ha! You guys were running away
from a tape recorder!
351
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:06,535
Cliff, I must admit
that was funny.
352
00:16:06,535 --> 00:16:07,835
Thanks a lot, Gene.
353
00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:10,435
No problem, Fras.
FRASIER (laughing):
Take care.
354
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:12,036
Hey, Doc, that was great.
355
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:13,736
Congratulations.
356
00:16:13,736 --> 00:16:15,336
We make a good team,
you and me.
357
00:16:15,436 --> 00:16:16,536
Ah, we showed them.
358
00:16:16,536 --> 00:16:18,237
Hey, how would you like
to play a trick like that
359
00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:19,537
on somebody else
tomorrow, huh?
360
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:21,137
Wouldn't that be great?
361
00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:23,238
Lot of people I'd like
to get even with.
362
00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:25,138
Guys down at the post office.
363
00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:28,039
All the people in
my apartment complex.
364
00:16:28,139 --> 00:16:31,439
Ma! Ooh, I'd love to nail her!
365
00:16:31,539 --> 00:16:32,739
Help me!
366
00:16:41,441 --> 00:16:43,942
Well, here's your room,
Mr. and Mrs. Malone.
367
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,443
Well, thank you.
368
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,743
The wife and I really enjoy
369
00:16:52,843 --> 00:16:55,044
getting away from the kids
for a relaxing evening.
370
00:16:56,444 --> 00:16:58,244
By the way, honey, shouldn't
we call the babysitter
371
00:16:58,244 --> 00:17:00,745
and tell her there's
some chicken in the fridge?
372
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,245
The little woman
is a great cook.
373
00:17:03,245 --> 00:17:04,945
Almost makes putting up
374
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,746
with the mother-in-law
worthwhile.
375
00:17:06,846 --> 00:17:08,446
You two aren't married, are you?
376
00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:10,647
No.
377
00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:14,947
(flatly):
Gee, you really had me going
there for a while.
378
00:17:18,148 --> 00:17:20,548
(door closes)
379
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:31,450
Well, this is it.
380
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:35,051
Just you and me alone together.
381
00:17:36,551 --> 00:17:39,452
So, uh, what should we do first?
382
00:17:41,552 --> 00:17:43,053
We could kiss.
383
00:17:44,553 --> 00:17:46,653
Yeah, we've done that
lots of times.
384
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,354
Yeah.
385
00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:20,360
Boy, I've never felt
this self-conscious
386
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:21,560
about kissing you.
387
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,360
My lips feel huge.
388
00:18:26,561 --> 00:18:29,061
Well, they've always been full.
389
00:18:29,161 --> 00:18:30,661
Really?
390
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,862
They feel like two
big pieces of liver
391
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,662
slapping together.
392
00:18:38,963 --> 00:18:40,563
Oh, no, I can hardly talk.
393
00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:46,364
Woody, I think we're both
a little bit nervous,
394
00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:49,665
so why don't we
lie down and relax.
395
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:51,565
Okay?
396
00:19:03,868 --> 00:19:05,868
(sighs)
397
00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:13,770
Oh! Hey, this is one
of those vibrating beds.
398
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,870
I always wanted to try this.
399
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,270
(coin clinks)
400
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,171
Oh, darn, I dropped the quarter.
401
00:19:20,271 --> 00:19:21,571
I have another quarter.
402
00:19:21,671 --> 00:19:22,671
No, no, I'll get it.
403
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,472
(coin clatters into box)
404
00:19:25,472 --> 00:19:27,472
(electric motor
rattles and whirrs)
405
00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:30,673
(loudly):
I'll turn it off!
406
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,174
Boy, I don't know
why people like this thing.
407
00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:49,076
Let me kiss
your head, Woody.
408
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,477
Does that feel better?
409
00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:54,777
Yeah, that feels a lot better.
410
00:19:54,877 --> 00:19:56,177
(knocking)
411
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:57,878
Oh, no.
412
00:19:57,978 --> 00:19:59,078
It's the manager.
413
00:19:59,178 --> 00:20:01,678
He figured out
we're not married.
414
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:04,279
But, Woody, you told him
we're not married.
415
00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:06,979
Then I guess it was easy
for him to piece together.
416
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,280
(knocking)
CARLA:
Woody, open the door!
417
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,181
Carla, what are
you doing here?
418
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,881
Oh, good,
you're still dressed.
419
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,581
Thank God I'm not too late.
420
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,182
I knew I would
find you guys here.
421
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:23,483
I gotta talk to you guys
before you make
422
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,483
what could be the worst mistake
of your lives.
423
00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:28,583
What's she talking
about, Woody?
424
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:30,984
I'm talking about
you two getting together
425
00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:33,684
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
426
00:20:33,784 --> 00:20:35,785
She's talking about
the two of us getting together
427
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:37,885
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
428
00:20:40,386 --> 00:20:42,186
Kids...
429
00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:49,087
...making love...
430
00:20:49,187 --> 00:20:52,488
is a very special thing
between two people.
431
00:20:54,088 --> 00:20:55,589
You don't want
to throw that away
432
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,989
just so you can beat
some Frenchman to the punch.
433
00:21:00,689 --> 00:21:02,590
Believe me.
434
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:05,990
I came to this motel
when I was 16 years old.
435
00:21:07,191 --> 00:21:09,691
You know what happened?
436
00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:12,092
I got knocked up.
437
00:21:12,092 --> 00:21:14,892
And, uh, here I am,
438
00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:17,593
eight kids later,
trying to talk you kids
439
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,393
out of making the same mistake.
440
00:21:21,293 --> 00:21:23,294
Carla's right.
441
00:21:23,294 --> 00:21:25,194
When it happens,
it has to be special.
442
00:21:25,294 --> 00:21:26,794
It has to be the most
443
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,695
meaningful thing
in the whole world.
444
00:21:29,795 --> 00:21:33,296
You know, if...
if it were up to me,
445
00:21:33,296 --> 00:21:35,196
I... I think
we should wait.
446
00:21:35,296 --> 00:21:37,696
You mean until
we're married?
447
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:42,997
No, until I can
afford a nice room
at the Four Seasons,
448
00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:44,698
instead of some
cheap motel.
449
00:21:44,798 --> 00:21:45,898
No offense, Carla.
450
00:21:45,898 --> 00:21:47,898
I know this place has
sentimental meaning to you.
451
00:21:49,499 --> 00:21:50,699
Let's go.
452
00:21:52,499 --> 00:21:55,500
Boy, I'm glad I could
help you guys.
453
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,400
Yeah, I don't know
how to thank you, Carla.
454
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,600
Yeah, that's okay.
455
00:22:04,901 --> 00:22:07,802
See, I told you
I could get us a vacancy.
456
00:22:07,802 --> 00:22:09,802
Come on, Frenchie.
457
00:22:15,303 --> 00:22:17,504
Here's your big chance.
458
00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:21,104
Steal me away from Woody.
459
00:22:27,106 --> 00:22:28,806
Hey, Doc.
460
00:22:28,906 --> 00:22:30,106
Where is everybody?
461
00:22:30,106 --> 00:22:31,606
Have you seen Norm?
462
00:22:31,706 --> 00:22:35,107
Well, Cliff,
Norm was pretty upset
463
00:22:35,207 --> 00:22:38,108
about our little severed head
gag this afternoon.
464
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,408
He's been moping
in the pool room all day.
465
00:22:41,508 --> 00:22:43,809
I... I don't know.
466
00:22:43,809 --> 00:22:47,209
Really? Gee, uh, it
was meant to be a joke.
467
00:22:47,309 --> 00:22:48,310
Hey, Norm!
468
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,610
Come on out here, will you?
469
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:51,210
I didn't mean to scare you.
470
00:22:51,310 --> 00:22:53,811
No, let me, let me
go see if he's okay.
471
00:22:56,911 --> 00:22:59,412
Oh, my God!
472
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,812
Cliffie!
473
00:23:02,912 --> 00:23:04,813
(screaming)
474
00:23:04,813 --> 00:23:07,513
(screaming continues)
475
00:23:09,914 --> 00:23:12,314
(both guffawing)
476
00:23:17,415 --> 00:23:19,215
Very funny, Fras.
477
00:23:19,215 --> 00:23:20,916
Hey, I go where
the thrills are.33753
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