Original subtitles

Dude. New car?

Certified pre-owned.

Where'd you get the money for it?

I have a prestigious vlog,

and I'm monetized on YouTube.

Yeah, over the years, I've built

a loyal audience of sci-fi enthusiasts

and intellectual sophisticates.

I admit it lacks the glamour of dancing in a bathroom.

One million views.

A million people watched that?

And I just secured my first sponsored content deal.

Soon I'll be buying my own certified new car.

Chump move.

You lose 10% as soon as you drive it off the lot.

All right, then I'll just buy a new one.

The same thing'll happen.

And then I'll get a new one.

What?

Oh, hey, when the lights say "check engine,"

is that serious, or is it just, like, a reminder,

like "call your mother"?

Jesus, that's sad.

That'll never be me.

Nice, guys, nice.

Make sure it's nice and crisp.

Oh, that goes by the bathrooms, yeah?

Evie, hi. Uh, how are you?

Uh, good, just, uh, you know,

working in the Valley.

Um, so--

Well, I also had a, uh--

a nice time last night.

- I-- - Cool, you had sex.

- Oh, Jesus. - Henry had sex,

everyone, just so you know.

- Oh, whoa. - Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Nice to meet you. - Sorry.

I know we've only gone out a few times,

but I have to ask a favor.

Um, okay.

The kids are supposed to strike set today,

but I forgot to give them the theater key,

so one of them's coming by to pick it up,

but I left my keys at yours,

and yes, it has been that kind of day.

That would be great.

I am meeting her across the street at two,

so how about quarter till,

burger place at Third and Flower?

Thank you. I owe you one.

'Tis Pity She's a Whore.

Sepulveda Basin High School play.

I love Shakespeare.

That is not Shakespeare. John Ford.

Eh, it's all weird like Shakespeare.

That was the style back then.

Wait, do you know Shakespeare?

- A little. Why? - It's just,

I haven't heard on my Lost Boys callback,

and I need a backup,

so I got this audition

for an edgy Shakespeare adaptation,

but it's tomorrow,

and I totally don't know Shakespeare.

Like, what even language is this?

What's "exeunt"?

Well, I actually got this,

but you have to give it back.

It's the teacher's edition.

Okay?

Dude! Yes!

Thank you.

- So what play is it? - Othello.

What role are you up for?

- Othello. - Othello?

Yeah. He's, like, the main guy, right?

Well, yeah, but blackface

is now considered a little... racist.

No, that's the edgy part. They flipped it.

Everybody else is Black. Othello is white.

That's why it's not racist.

Uh...

Right?

I think it universalizes a flawed play.

Like, is prejudice only experienced

by Black people?

I was a victim of racial prejudice.

Ah! A Black woman threw his bike into a river.

Now, did William Woke-speare write a play about that?

Food for thought.

Yeah. Thank you.

The fuck is this event?

"Restoring national greatness"?

What's "globalists"?

Guys, it's Kyle's old pals.

Fucking Nazis.

They're not my pals.

I can't believe you took a job working for Nazis!

They're not actual Nazis.

Well, they're not not Nazis.

- Do you have no morals? - Morals?

What does that have to do with anything, okay?

This is just business.

Okay, okay, bookings have been dead, all right,

and I'm behind on payments,

and if I don't pay on Monday,

they're gonna repossess my van.

All right?

So can we just do the gig,

get paid, forget about it, and move on?

Can we do that?

I can't believe you took a job working for Nazis!

Lucy, you've told me five times in a row,

so if you wanna go out and protest,

then feel free, all right?

Otherwise, can we just hold our noses

and work for the Nazis?

Henry, you're cool with this, right?

I mean, it's just business, right, Henry?

No, but now I guess

I have to fix my car, so...

Oh, so you're cool working for Nazis?

No, but I--you know, I'll provide poor service.

Well, Nazis or not, I mean,

I'd like to snag some referrals.

For the record, we are not Nazis.

Oh, no. Oh, Mr. Gluberd,

you're--um, um, no.

Uh, we-we were saying, um, uh, uh, uh,

"nosies."

Hi. I'm Stuart.

I am the founder and president

of Policy Ideas 2 Action,

and this is the PI2A Symposium,

not the pizza symposium,

like some people are misreading

due to a careless font choice.

You may not have heard of us,

but... you will.

We're not Fox News ranting heads.

We're not fascist goons like the Rowdy Boys.

We are a new group building a conservative politics

based on open-minded, good-faith debate

in an open marketplace of ideas.

Oh, see? Open marketplace of ideas.

That sounds good to me. Uh--

Give us a chance.

What you hear might surprise you.

State-run universal health care,

ambitious, well-funded national infrastructure...

- Yeah. - ...and high civic engagement.

Oh, yeah.

What do you think, liberals? Sounds pretty good.

- Yeah. - Welcome

to Hitler's Germany.

Stuart, can you not see the absurdity

of what you're asking?

I come to your supposed marketplace of ideas,

where you then suggest I censor

the very ideas I brought to said marketplace.

What is--what is the herb I'm tasting?

I just hold the tray.

- Okay, look, look. - Sublime.

A salute to your chef.

Dermott, all I ask

is, if you could, for once,

not bring up Hitler.

He gets a bad rap!

What if we only ever talked

about the worst thing you ever did?

If we want to grow, we have to think about optics.

We ignore everything you've done for Western ideals

and instead just talk about when you peed in a cup

at a Dodgers game and spilled it on a little girl?

I didn't say I won't pay alimony.

- I'm just asking-- - My point is,

to grow and achieve the goal of national influence,

we must project a positive image.

Constantly bringing up Hitler doesn't help.

I gotta go.

I'm at the job I took to pay alimony,

by the wa--

Jesus.

Martini with your finest gin.

You know who didn't care about his image?

- Please don't say Hitler. - Hitler.

And you're wrong.

He did have some misguided policies,

but Hitler understood optics

as a key part of growing an organization.

- Hmm. - Martini

with our only gin.

Well, as a major donor,

I'm glad to see you're coming around on Hitler.

Sprite, no ice.

- I said no ice. - Oh.

Sorry. One of those days.

Your ex-wife?

Yeah.

I feel your pain.

As a champion of the traditional family,

it is not easy shelling out half my income

so my ex can take a white wine

life drawing class with her friend Peg.

Oh, well, I appreciate that.

Wish she could see this.

Seaver Hamlin at the symposium

that she said I could never make happen.

Seaver Hamlin?

Founder of Fresh Start USA?

Fox News correspondent?

Not the deepest political thinker

but very famous, with a mass audience.

The key middle step in my three-part plan

to platform our agenda:

evolve in the idea space,

spread through the media to the public sphere,

where it then enters the lexicon

of the common man, like yourself,

and voilà, we are a key player

in the national political conversation.

Cool.

Could be a bigger turnout,

but... it's a start.

Big things have small beginnings.

David,

played by Michael Fassbender in Prometheus.

Ah.

Mr. Gluberd, you should see this.

New beginnings.

Wish us luck.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

We don't wanna see no Nazis.

Ah, look at these clowns.

Nazis, go home!

Well, I guess the news is out.

There's a new big, bad conservative group in town.

Have Rhonda grab her phone.

Lucy, you can't do this!

I can't let Nazis ingest and absorb

into the cells of their Nazi bodies

something that I created

in a spirit of truth and compassion.

I can't let you.

No, you can't let me.

You can't let me. I own the company.

I let me!

I made this! That's ownership.

No, this is ownership!

Kyle, take these and circulate them.

Sorry, Ron.

My conscience just won't allow it.

Per your comment earlier,

I will be protesting this event.

I'm sorry. I have no choice.

Just--

Damn it.

Damn it.

Fight! Fight!

Fight the alt-right!

- What's up? - Fight! Fight!

- Fight the alt-right! - Yes!

- Fuck is this? - Hey, I-I just wanted

to say, uh, we are not down

with what is up in there.

Me especially, not down with Nazis.

I came to show my support.

Um, yeah, I'll just, like,

yell stuff or do some hand gestures.

Um, I'll be over there,

and, uh, do your thing.

Hey!

Okay.

Hello. Hello.

Okay, hello.

I just wanted to come out

and say that we appreciate you exercising

your freedom of expression,

which we also support wholeheartedly.

Yeah, we believe that.

I know we have our disagreements.

More than that, brother.

I support your right to free speech

and encourage the spirit of open debate--

- Debate this! - Okay.

We don't care what you think.

Fuck you, and fuck free speech!

- Okay. Oh. - Fuck you!

Fuck free speech! Fuck you!

And if you're going to--

Fuck free speech! Fuck you!

Fuck free speech!

Get out of here! Yeah!

Fuck you! Fuck free speech!

Okay, I need something

that's gonna give me the ginkgo biloba I crave

and nano-lytes for peak brain speed.

You just shake it up, and it's ready.

Mmm!

WhamBatChu. Think fast.

Wow!

Yes.

So they pay you to video yourself

consuming that.

Right, sponcon, sponsored content.

- And what is it? - WhamBatChu.

- Which is? - I don't know.

Cool.

Hey, uh, can you grab the bar for a sec?

Oh, are you quitting?

I wish.

Hey, hey. Excuse me.

I was wondering if you could

help me out a little bit here.

I'm an actor...

...and I have a big audition tomorrow,

and I really could use someone's help

to run lines with me, so I was wondering...

Like, a real Hollywood actor?

That's me. I was wondering maybe...

- You guys. - ...you could--

Check it out.

We've got ourselves a real Hollywood actor.

How's it going? What's up?

That's hilarious.

No, no, no, seriously.

I-I was in Hardier Boys, The Return.

I was Bohdi.

And now you're in a protest?

- Yep. - Typical Hollywood liberal.

Exactly.

No, it's a-- it's a disparaging term.

How? I'm totally liberal,

and I am definitely Hollywood, so--

Hollywood like superficial, like just for show.

Virtue signaling without actually contributing

anything meaningful.

No, I-I'm against Nazis.

I put out two anti-Nazi videos on Insta.

Oh, but you have an audition?

Yeah, for Othello.

Uh, one of the main parts in that.

You know what?

Fighting Nazis is more important.

Let's chant, baby.

Hey, hey!

Ho, ho!

Nazi shit has got to go! Right?

Hey, Evie. Just checking on an ETA.

The kids'll be here in ten minutes.

I was hoping to do the keys before they show up.

Mr. Pollard?

Uh, Cloris. You're early.

And Riley.

So the key?

Well, I-I-I don't have it yet.

You're early. Uh, just sit there.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Thank you for meeting me. - Sure. But why here?

Aren't you working across the street?

Well, they don't know I have this job,

and I barely have any authority over them anyway,

and they're just vicious. They're--

- Hi. - Hi.

I wanted to say

I had a really nice time this weekend.

- Yeah. - Oh, look. Children.

Jesus. I thought they were over there.

Didn't I say be over there?

It's not school. It's real life.

You can't order us around.

Uh, okay.

Evie, this is Riley and Cloris,

and they are here early for the theater keys.

Oh, so you're in the play.

I'm Annabella, the female lead.

I hook up with my brother, and he murders me

and rips out my heart.

- Gross. - And I'm the bad guy.

The brother's not the bad guy?

No. It's very complicated morally.

Wow, this is the play you picked.

Uh, it is what I inherited

from the shit-stirring old hippie who I replaced.

You must be learning a lot. Henry's a terrific actor.

Really? Like a professional actor?

You never told us that.

You got, like, an agent and a manager?

- Were you in anything? - Not really.

Well, obviously not a ton of stuff,

or he wouldn't be teaching at Basin.

Okay. Evie, do you have those keys?

- Uh-- - Yeah.

Great.

So not really anything.

Well, some films, TV,

and, you know, "Are we having fun yet?"

- That's you? - Okay.

This here's the key. You are good to go.

And I need to get back to my errands, okay?

- Actually, Mr. Pollard-- - No. Guys, I gotta go.

Really gotta go.

All right? Thank you. Bye.

- See you soon. - Break legs.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to do with kids that age.

- What are they? - No one knows.

It's--they're animals.

Did they not know you used to act?

Was I not supposed to say?

No, whatever. It's fine. Now they know, right?

Mm.

Uh, look, I wish I didn't have to,

but I really gotta run.

It's just a crap day.

Oh, it's fine.

I just wanted to...

Never mind. Call me later.

Okay.

- Fuck you! - No.

Fuck free speech! Fuck you!

Jesus. God. This is so annoying!

What is?

Oh, um...

...did you see the protesters outside?

Yeah. It's all over Twitter.

It's just painful

when people I agree with look stupid.

Yeah, you know you're not doing it right

when the Nazis look reasonable

and everybody's rooting for the Rowdy Boys.

- The what? - The right-wing guys

who like to fight with left-wingers.

They have the most-liked comment,

"Bash those commie worms."

Oh, my God.

What is that?

It's, uh, WhamBatChu.

I was supposed to shoot sponcon videos,

but it blew out my entire digestive system,

top and bottom, both times.

You did it more than once?

I really do want a new car.

You're the chef?

I am.

I just wanted to offer my sincere compliments.

The food is sublime.

Biting into your raclette pissaladière,

I had a sensation of tumbling pell-mell

down the slope of the Jungfrau,

bracingly whipped as I went by fresh spring stems

of marigold, Alpine garlic,

wild marjoram.

D-d--um... it's the Eiger, actually,

- but I... - Of course.

...can't believe you got that.

His opposite is the twink subset,

whose weakling persona is a deliberate affront

to the traditional Western ideal

- of robust masculinity... - Mr. Gluberd.

...radiating both prepubescent helplessness...

It's Seaver Hamlin.

He can't make it.

...a deliberate attack...

What?

...on the traditional family!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

Kyle?

You fascist scum have got to go!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

Mmm.

And this is swine butter on rugbrod

with shaved granite and grass.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

It's like falling from a great height

into a fjord.

I mean...

Another thing my boss would never let me serve.

How do you stand this situation?

I mean, you must feel like an eagle

stuck riding a Greyhound bus.

It can be frustrating.

Your employer is clearly a subhuman imbecile...

...devoid of fine sentiment.

In the society we're building,

the extraordinary, like yourself,

will be elevated,

and a lumpen oaf like him will be cast down

to his natural station as a toilet wiper.

Uh...

I... have work to do.

I see.

The appreciation of a Nazi is not welcome.

- It's not that. - No, don't apologize.

I loathe your politics,

but I can still appreciate your art.

So... point, Dermott.

- Oh, my God. - They got a guy out there

doing full-on skull shape stuff.

Oh, fun. Invite him back here for a bite.

Right? Fuck it. Let's get 'em all in here.

You could open your own Nazi restaurant.

Lebensraum.

No?

Look, Nazis enjoy your work. Embrace it.

- You're one to talk. - What?

Who do you think watches your vlog?

Sci-fi enthusiasts. Intellectual sophisticates.

Do you ever go through your comments,

see who's linking to you or where they're linking from?

Sometimes.

'Cause the vast majority of 'em

are the anti-PC crowd,

see, Gamergaters, and men's rights activists.

- In other words-- - Nazis.

And incels.

But, you know, you got a used car.

Certified pre-owned.

Oh.

I had no idea. I swear.

I hate Nazis.

As do I.

- What is this? - WhamBatChu.

We are gonna fuck 'em up.

Yeah. Okay.

God damn it, Seaver.

The fucking champion of the common man

gets his foot run over by a truck

driven by a fucking common man?

What are the odds?

Seaver was supposed to be the first part of the plan.

This always happens.

I'm so close, and then just...

nope.

To always be so close, but you just can't get there,

- it's just-- - I hear ya.

I've been there. I feel your pain.

You were in politics?

Uh... showbiz.

Sure. You know what it's like pushing through

despite the odds.

Until the odds won and I became a teacher.

And you're okay with that?

Well, ups and downs,

but I do not miss rolling the rock up the hill.

I get it.

Greatness is not for everyone.

This is why I keep pushing on

and why I'll never stop.

So I can put my agenda to work for guys like you.

Right, the common man.

We'll get there,

Seaver or no Seaver.

I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Yeah!

- Jesus! - Oh! Dude, hey.

Sorry for calling you a fascist earlier.

Heat of the moment.

We threw everything we had at the Nazis,

so we got some hungry justice warriors out there.

Come on, baby!

I'm coming, comrades!

Oh, hey.

Sorry to barge in at work.

What event is this?

Oh, it's just some Nazi thing.

You should check it out if you wanna see

how fucked up this scene can get.

So yeah, that's actually why I wanted to talk to you.

Ah, Henry.

You gonna do it again?

- Roman, for fuck's sake... - Do what?

Uh, where did these appetizers go?

Uh, Kyle took them out to the protesters.

- No. - Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! - Have fun!

Shit! Kyle!

Kyle!

What was all that?

Just how it is, uh...

most of the time. Why don't I call you...

- Call me later. - ...later?

- Yeah. - Right.

- Is, uh... - This is the thing.

I came to bring you the keys earlier,

but it felt weird.

Yeah, uh, sorry about that.

There's, you know, the kids...

- That was unexpected. - ...and work,

and, I--you know, this thing with my car.

It is a lot. I get that.

Yeah, and tending bar for Nazis.

- Actual Nazis? - Nazi-adjacent...

- Right. - ...so still, uh, pretty bad,

Maybe I'll just give you a call--

So we are keeping our distance.

The--no. No, we're--

No, it's fine if we are.

We're hooking up.

That's a thing people do.

I-I just wanna be honest this time

so I know what to expect.

Right, sure.

Because I think there's something here...

- Really? - ...but maybe it isn't

the best day to have that discussion.

No, look, I'm sorry.

It's, uh--it's not today.

It's, uh...

everything.

My car is falling apart.

I'm stuck doing this play.

My divorce is... messy.

- You're tending bar for Nazis. - Yeah.

I mean, this is not how I envisioned my 40s, okay?

Maybe I just don't want you to...

see the mess.

Like, it's-it's--

uh, it's too real or-or something.

Jesus Christ!

What are you doing here?

Well, Riley wanted to talk to you,

so we followed her.

Okay. Can it wait?

What are you wearing?

Uh, this is for work.

- For teaching? - Other work.

Are you a magician?

Mr. Pollard, I think I wanna quit the play.

What?

Okay, uh...

c-c-can you guys just go there for a sec?

Come here. Sorry. Um--

Uh, Evie, I'm sorry.

No, I get it.

This is very real.

Yeah. Uh, is that a bad thing?

It's different.

You did say you didn't want fairy-tale shit.

It's not fairy-tale shit.

No.

But it's something?

'Cause I feel like it's--

it's at least something.

It's definitely something.

Yeah.

Mm. I have a, um,

- new draft of Human Tree... - Sure.

...waiting for me at home.

- Mm-hmm. - I'll see you...

Tonight?

Yeah, I'll see you tonight.

- All right. - Mm-hmm.

Ooh!

Uh, okay.

So you guys have the key, so you're good to go.

I was gonna quit the play.

Right.

Uh, why?

We don't wanna see no Nazis!

- We don't wanna see... - Hey.

Yeah! Welcome to the right side of history, comrades!

What did you do with the tiny tarts you took?

Oh, I gave 'em to the crew. They loved 'em.

Oh, shit, uh, the Rowdy Boys.

What?

Bring it, you Nazi bastards!

Uh, uh, dude, dude, actually, can you just--

I got you, brother!

Fuck you!

Wait a second. He's not a protester.

Wait, Ky-Kyle, they're not protesters.

They're Nazis pretending to be protesters.

I bumped into that guy inside.

This is all to get attention.

You socialist scum have ten seconds

to get the fuck out of here!

- Fuck you, you fascist bastard. - No, no!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

- Oh, uh! - Same team! Same team!

Same team!

We're National Greatness Conservatives!

Get 'em, boys!

Roman! Roman!

Oh, thank you. Look--

The Rowdy Boys rolled up,

and they're just shellacking those protesters.

- What? - Yeah, they're just...

- Oh, shit. - ...stomping on this one

blond guy.

Those are our people.

- What? - What?

Fake protest, get on social media,

part of the visibility plan.

Ah, the classic false flag.

Three-dimensional chess, huh.

Fuck!

Thing is, Mr. Pollard,

I only tried out so I could skip PE.

Sure, but you had a really good audition.

You got a big part.

Vasques kinda sucks.

Exactly. I mean, some people suck.

But they're still people.

Look, that's what was always interesting to me,

like, as an actor, just...

good or, uh, bad or whatever,

just, you know, finding that-that...

piece of humanity in a-a character

that the audience connects with.

For me, it's less about acting and more about reacting.

Cloris, not now.

It's just a bunch of pretending.

Like, what's it good for?

Well, pretend things can mean something too.

What do you mean,

not paying?

I said, due to damage to the venue,

I will pay next month.

But n--I don't need the money next month.

I need the money now.

Well, talk to the Rowdy Boys.

Look, I have expenses. I gotta pay my people.

I have van payments.

And I'm in the same boat.

Wanna have your lawyer call mine?

My lawyer?

Ugh. Jesus Christ.

So... sorry, we're not getting paid this week?

Party Down will be reimbursed...

- down the road. - Down the road is...

I'm fucked.

You f--you're fucked? M-my van.

Yeah, and you know I have to get my car fixed.

You know my ex-wife i-i-is gonna kill me.

- I know, but-- - Okay, well,

what happened to, "Been there"?

What happened to, "I feel your pain"?

I do, but--

But you're trying to reach the common man,

but you know nothing about the common man.

You don't give a shit about the common man, seriously.

You're looking a common man right in the eyes right now

and totally fucking him over.

I mean, Jesus Christ, I'm 46 years old.

My ex-wife is going to kill me in court.

They're going to take away my fucking car--

my car!

They're gonna take my home. I don't know what else.

I have nothing.

I have nothing.

I-I--

I have nothing.

Stuart, the manager of the venue

would like to speak with you.

Dermott, can you, um,

cover the invoice for these people?

Sure.

And tip's included.

I assume this means

Hitler's Germany remains

the key example in my presentation?

Yes...

for now.

Fucking Nazis.

See?

Pretend.

I'm 42, by the way.

Just, like, fists everywhere.

It was actually amazing.

You know, when they were whaling on me,

it was, like, the most alive I've ever felt.

Don't you have a big audition tomorrow?

Oh, yeah. Why?

I can't believe that's you.

That's my favorite meme.

What the hell is this? No.

This is "Are we having fun yet?"

See, talking about a beer commercial.

Wait, you were in a commercial?

Like, a national campaign?

Yup. Helped pay for a brand-new car.

Oh!

Are we having fun yet?

Whoa.