Original subtitles

So, uh, the house appears empty, right?

Jack thinks you're out of town.

- Suspecting nothing, he enters. - Mm-hmm.

Right? And then...

Boom.

People, right? Surprise, right?

And then we pull...

- Happy birthday-- - Forty-fifth.

- Forty-fifth, Jack, yes? - Jack, uh-huh.

And then we press play...

♪ Boogie fever... ♪

- This one, right? - Okay.

And that is our cue to circulate

with our custom, made-to-order birthday cake bites.

We have a new chef, cutting-edge.

You're gonna love it.

Uh, speaking of circulating,

does this need to be here?

Y-yes. It's the gift.

- Oh. - It's a karaoke machine.

Karaoke. In your house?

- Hmm. - That's allowed?

I love karaoke.

Oh, I'm not a fan, which is ironic,

'cause now Jack will want to do karaoke parties

all the time.

Ah...

I'll have to give him my card.

Okay. Guests should arrive soon.

Oh, if you have any questions,

I'm just putting these in my office.

And if staff could stick to party areas.

- Thank you. - Uh, clients' private,

non-party spaces are strictly off-limits, okay?

Party Down policy number one.

Top of the list. Henry.

- Yep. - Off-limits.

Right.

Jesus.

Oh, Henry.

Congrats on finalizing the divorce.

Bet you're gonna party tonight.

Yeah, six-packs and YouTubes.

Fall asleep in a chair.

Well, you must be happy that they changed

the blatantly misandristic alimony laws.

Mm, actually, I still pay.

She makes less than I do, so...

Less than a teacher? What does she do?

Is she a shoeshine at the bus station?

Wait a minute. You have to pay alimony?

With what? You're, like, a teacher, right?

Yes, that is why I am moonlighting.

Oh, moonlighting.

Yes, man, I haven't done that

since they canceled Burning Man.

So if you dropped your tab at moonrise,

you're due for a Molly, like, now.

How's your headspace?

Moonlighting as in working a side job

for extra money.

That's a term?

But it's day.

Oh, actually, you go with the grain.

- The what? - The limes?

- I got this. Watch. - Oh.

See, this is why I am back catering.

I got a callback for a CW show.

Character works in a club,

so I thought I'd keep a foot in food service

for my sense memory.

See, I go in immersed in my character's lived truth,

dude, I am gonna stand out.

As one of the few actors in LA

who's ever worked in food service.

- You get it. - Okay. All right, all right.

Doing limes.

And we are T-minus 15 minutes.

Dude, have you seen this house?

There is a bathroom upstairs

that is the most amazing bathroom

I have ever seen in my life.

There is a drinking fountain in the toilet.

- The mirrors are everywhere-- - Okay.

Everybody, my God, okay?

Clients' private, non-party spaces are...

what?

Give it to me.

Sackson, I know you know this policy.

I know you know this policy

'cause I told you about this policy a million times.

What is number one?

- Pee? - No.

Stay out. Stay out is the policy.

Stay out is the policy.

Anyway, uh, as you may know, Chef Hans has been fired.

- Chef Hans? - Yeah.

That guy was cool.

Well, he was stealing booze.

Wait, you can get fired for that?

It's actually pretty standard.

He was stealing a lot of booze.

And also, he said he was cool and cutting-edge,

and he wasn't, you know,

and I want this party to be cutting-edge.

Ah, right on cue!

Ladies and gentlemen, everybody,

this is our new chef, Lucy Dang,

with our made-to-order custom cake bites, huh?

Wow, look at those. Those are cool.

Hell yeah. It's cake time with Sacks.

Mmm...

What's in these?

Basic sheet cake

done in an on-sale, store-bought style

with a center of ripened Camembert.

- W-w-wait, what? - Mm.

You get an innocent, childlike sweetness up front,

followed by an earthy whiff of decay.

Why?

It's a rumination on mortality.

Rumination on mortality?

It-it's cake.

Birthday cake.

What?

You said in the interview,

"I want 'the new foods, cutting-edge d'oeuvres.'"

Yes, yes, like-- y-you know, like new shapes.

Look, this is an important event for me

business-wise, and I'd rather

the guests not be thinking of death.

Not just death.

It's more, "Life is finite.

How have I used this time?"

I am feeling like I wish

I had said, "I love you," to my nana more.

- Yes! - No. Throw them out.

Throw them out now, and then make new ones, okay?

You have time. I will stall.

Okay, so not cutting-edge?

You just want basic-ass, boring shit for normies?

No, cutting-edge but in the form of shapes...

and stuff.

Okay?

I see how it is.

Lucy.

So, uh, moving on, uh,

as I said, clients' private, non-party spaces--

Oh, fu--

so it's time once again

to hear from our investor, Constance,

who, as you know, insists on us doing this...

...bullshit.

Shit.

- Hey! - No, I asked

for my egg under the hollandaise sauce

and the bacon on top!

Uh, you know, Constance, if you're busy,

we could do this another time.

No, no, no, Ron, no. No, no, no.

And as your partner, I am always there for you.

M-more like investor.

I'm sorry I can't be there in person,

but I am with you on-screen.

Let's start with our look within.

Everybody close your eyes.

We want to bring...

She's out of town. Relax.

...and focus on the energy.

- Mm, baby! - What the fuck?

Whoa-ho, and that is Jack Botty.

Oh, whoa. Okay, shit.

Uh...

...what's going on?

...always has 20...

Ron Donald, Party Down Catering,

and we are here for--

um, I cannot say.

Shit. Your surprise 45th.

It's today. I got an invitation.

Jesus Christ. Why didn't you say something?

Well, because you said Evie was out of town,

- so I assumed it was canceled. - Fuck.

Uh, she's in the living room, um,

and guests are coming, like, now.

Oh, that's great. Okay, cool.

Uh, great!

Listen, I'm gonna go around the f--

I'm gonna go around the front, okay?

I'm gonna come in the front door.

I'm gonna be surprised.

And we're gonna have a great party.

Okay.

I'm gonna ask you to keep this under your hat,

though, okay?

What this is,

you never saw me.

You never saw this.

No, no, no, you can't come with me.

Just go hide somewhere.

- Come in later. - Okay.

Okay, you heard the man. You never saw him.

Like, now or ever?

Surprise!

Oh, man.

You got it. Good one.

Oh, man!

You should've seen the look on his face.

He really looked surprised.

I--o-o-o-okay, okay,

I-I-I know that thing that happened earlier

was a little bit awkward.

I think it's at least medium awkward.

Look, look, this is a big opportunity.

You see how classy this place is,

these classy people?

I want more of that.

So can we just do our jobs?

And don't rock the boat, okay?

That-that song was our cue, so let's go.

Come on, let's go. Yeah.

- Yay. - Great, let's do it.

Lucy Dang. Great. Thank--

Yeah, cut the cucumber.

That's the job. That's the job.

...and on the count of three,

we will open our eyes,

fully cleansed

for a great event.

One, two, three.

Hey, kid.

You okay?

Yeah, I mean, I...

guess I'm just wrestling with a slight dilemma.

Ooh. Dilemma, huh?

Have you ever had the chance to do something big,

like, change-your-life big,

but it's against the rules?

Mm, actually, Jiminy...

Sackson.

...let me tell you a story.

It's 1983, and the talk of the town

is the title sequence for the movie Hardbodies.

Everybody wants in.

I couldn't even get an audition.

So I dressed up like a waitress,

I stuck into the producer's country club,

and I surprised him at lunch with my résumé,

my headshot, and extra charm.

And I got that audition.

So chase your dreams, Sanklin,

even if you have to break a few rules.

- Did you get the part? - No, I did not.

I lost it to Deb Hamming.

It happened a lot.

She looked just like me,

but she had slightly bigger boobs.

But I was not gonna let the rules

get between me and my dream.

What rules, exactly?

The day of the shoot, Nels, my drug dealer, and I

dressed up as cops, and we arrested Deb

for possession of one kilo of cocaine

that Nels had planted in her car.

Then we handcuffed her to a radiator

in a warehouse downtown while I took her ID

and sashayed right onto the set.

Isn't that, like, a crime?

I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.

But what are laws anyway but basically rules?

Well, you made it in the movie, right?

No, no, I had never worn a pair of roller skates in my life.

So take one, I skated right off the end of a pier.

Anyway, what do you wanna do?

Okay, so Ron said we have to stay out of private spaces,

but there's a bathroom here with mirrors on either side,

and I was like,

if I did the Chumble to the new Mo Dip single

and you could see it in both mirrors,

like, this could be game-changing for me.

What is your career?

- Content. - What?

Like, web videos and stuff.

Computer things with your telephone?

Yeah.

Well, then maybe you should stick to the rules.

What happened to "chase that dream"?

Well, I thought you were talking about a real dream,

like actor or something.

Here's my story.

I've been fired from every job I ever had.

Is that the whole story?

I'm not a storyteller.

My medium is food.

The point is...

a true artist...

is breaking the rules all the time.

Whoa, you're kidding.

Hey, what's up? How you doing?

♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

Evie, relax. It's going great.

It's just a big step.

I've never thrown him a party before.

He's a parties guy. He's particular about parties.

- This is what I need. - Okay.

- Thank you very much. - My pleasure.

You know who he looks like?

- Who? -"Are we having fun yet?"

You remember that?

It is you.

We met last year.

- Evie. - Right. Henry.

I didn't know you were a bartender.

Teacher, but I got divorced and needed a side hustle,

so it was either this or escort work.

I could see you being popular

with neglected Bel Air housewives.

I get attached easily.

This is less messy emotionally.

Well, I'm sorry to hear it. That sounds rough.

I guess we finally know the answer to the question...

- Hmm. - ..."Are we having fun yet?"

The answer's no.

- Too soon? - No, the opposite.

That me hasn't existed for years.

So you don't act anymore at all?

Only when I say, "My pleasure," as I hand people drinks.

That was an act?

It wasn't your pleasure?

- I felt nothing. - Hmm.

Shame you quit. You're good.

Can you believe it?

Karaoke in your own house.

It's... allowed.

Oh, the party's going great, huh?

Yeah. Do you think we're gonna see the cake bite things or...

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, coming up any minute.

- ...any of the-- - Yep.

Hey, my little secret party planner.

- Hi, baby. - Hey!

Mwah!

Tell me, were you really surprised?

Yeah, the karaoke machine's a beast.

- You heard it? - Yeah, yeah.

It's incredible.

- The sound quality's amazing. - Good.

- Let's get you on the mic. - No.

- No? No? - No.

- Come on. - No.

Not my jam.

It's not my thing, honey.

One song, baby.

Come on.

Remember what we're not gonna rock.

Your body?

The boat, Henry,

the boat.

Happy birthday, Jack!

John over there.

- Hey. - Oh! Thanks, Lyle.

Yeah, hey, it's a bummer you got canceled, man.

It'd have been fun having you in the extended U.

Yeah. Only slightly canceled.

Just here researching a role.

♪ Happy birthday, Jack Botty ♪

Lydia Dunfree.

Uh, did I miss the surprise?

Yeah, it was the first thing that happened.

Oh, rats.

You know, I hate being surprised,

but I love seeing someone else get surprised.

It's like when you see someone get eaten by a shark

and you're like, "Yay, not me."

Anyway, Escapade loved working with you

on Infinity Sticks and was thrilled to be invited,

but she didn't feel well,

so she asked her manager to deliver her best wishes

and this gift basket.

- It's a really good one. - Oh, thank you so much.

- Nice. Thank you! - Thank you for coming.

Did you guys--I want--hmm.

Hey, uh, that's a bummer Escapade's sick.

She's not.

Sick in the head, maybe.

- Oof. - I don't know.

Since her big breakthrough,

she's just got gotten so moody.

Oh.

Well, probably just adolescent girl brain.

- Yeah. - They're crazy at this age.

Right?

Isn't she, like, 23?

Yes. I don't know what's going on.

I mean, this has been her dream ever since she was little.

- But now she's gone all weird. - Hmm.

I'm afraid she's gonna fire me.

No. After all you've done? No way.

The other day on her phone,

I saw a missed call from Ted Fine.

Ooh.

Arguably the top manager in the business.

Yeah.

I mean, he's a seasoned veteran.

If he gets his claws into her, I'm fucked.

Oof.

- How are you? - Oh--

Oh, I forgot. Canceled.

You're a waiter again.

Yeah, uh, just to do a little sense memory

for my callback for the Lost Boys reboot.

Oh, must be so fun to be back

slinging d'oeuvres with the old gang.

Is it?

Mm-mm. No. No, it sucks.

Aw.

Another spoon broke, Ron.

This cheap shit just doesn't cut it.

- What's that? - Oh, new business cards.

You always gotta be prepared.

Jack loves parties.

Can you imagine,

me hanging out with Jack Botty,

Liam Neeson, Don Cheadle?

No. Why is it big?

Why is it-- that's the style now, you know?

And I got a great deal on these.

Two thousand for two grand.

You paid two grand for those?

Yeah. Can you believe that?

No.

Uh, Ron,

do you sleep in the van?

What? No.

W-why do you ask that?

There's a little bed in there.

Yes, for... power naps.

I take power naps.

I--

I don't live in a van, okay?

I'm a business owner.

You smell like a guy who lives in a van.

Thanks!

Mm. The stinkier, the better, right?

Yeah, I've always been a foodie.

You know, they say I have an adventuresome palate.

Oh, you're totally ignoring Ron...

and fitting right in.

Ron is such a fuckin' normie, right?

Mmm.

No, I get it. I think it's good.

Oh, my God.

If you think it's good, you don't get it.

Wait, I'm not supposed to like it?

Everyone is so stuck

on this idea of food being good,

this whole taste and flavor bullshit.

What you're supposed to do is experience it,

engage with it, grapple with it,

wrestle with it.

Food is art.

It should change the way you think and feel.

Like Rilke's poem--it says, "You must change your life."

Mm-hmm.

Totally. No, I'm-I'm getting that.

You don't get it.

Nope.

Oh, hey, Henry. Uh, all good at the bar?

Yeah. So far, pretty good.

Yeah, good, good, good, yeah. Great. All right.

- Thanks, man. - Yeah.

Henry, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Just come here.

Fuck. Come here.

Do I smell?

Uh, what do you mean, Ron?

You know I had a hard time during lockdown, right?

I mean, it was a year with no events.

- Yeah. - Right?

I was living in the van--

You lived in the van?

I took any gig.

Secret weddings,

illegal poker tournaments,

goth raves,

unpermitted underground brises,

anything to keep Party Down afloat.

I got COVID four times.

Ron, holy shit.

Which is fine. You know me.

I'm all about the grind.

Right? But I do now have no sense of smell.

- What? - Which is fine.

I mean, at this point in my life,

I've pretty much smelled it all.

But I can't blow this.

Fancy people will not hire you for their fancy parties

if you smell.

So I'm asking you as your boss...

and as your friend...

do I...

smell?

Ah, look at that.

- Honestly, um... - Mm?

Kind of, yeah.

Sorry.

♪ Hey... ♪

What in the hell, Sackson?

What did I tell you? You can't--

What is this... circle?

Ron, I'm--uh, I'm sorry.

- I, uh--I just-- - You just what?

I mean, I went over this a thousand times.

Non-party spaces off-limits! My God!

This is such an RDD, I can't even tell you--

- A what? - An RD--get--

uh, what are you still doing here?

- Get out! Pack it up! - I'm sorry. I got confused.

How? I mean, the policy's crystal clear, Sackson!

I don't know.

Keep out of clients' non-party spaces!

Oh, my God.

Appreciate it. Thank you.

Yeah.

Ah, what's Tandy Lehman doing here?

Oh, she was Lady Snakes in the last Max America movie.

Hi.

I was hiding in a bush.

Okay.

Jack! Happy birthday!

Hi, Evie!

Whoa.

I'd heard she was pretty wild, but--

You know, we just caught her

fooling around with Jack before the party.

Gosh. I don't get it.

I mean, she's had this nice career

for as long as I can remember.

I think that's part of it.

You know, the whole child actor thing.

What thing?

Well, you know how some child actors

end up kind of messed up?

That's a thing?

Since when?

Since whenever. You know, like Judy Garland?

Judy Garland?

But she always seemed so happy,

singing and dancing around.

Oh, yeah, that was all an act.

She had major issues.

So a kid gets to live out their actual dream

and that screws them up?

- How? - I don't know, but it does.

I mean, the whole reason Haley Joel Osment grew a beard

is 'cause he shot himself in the face with a pellet gun,

high on K, trying to rob a Chipotle.

Wait, I saw Haley last month up close.

His face was normal.

Okay, well, a different former child actor.

But still...

it's a thing.

Scuse me! Coming through.

Oop! Where's the bathroom?

Oh.

Uh, how--

I--

Oh, uh...

it's, uh--it's off-limits back there.

Did you take a shower in there?

What?

No.

Oh, God.

Henry, how about now?

The smell.

Wow. Uh, very nice, actually.

Yeah, okay. We're back on track.

Now I just wait for the right moment and I give him my...

...card.

- Why is it big like that? - What? It's fine.

It's fine.

What, did he take a shower or something?

He might have, yeah.

I don't know what you're worried about.

Clearly, he loves it.

No, I'm worried about my sanity

with the thing in the house.

Well, make your peace with it, 'cause Ann told me Nora said

Jack asked if she knew your ring size.

- Oh, whoa. - Mm-hmm.

As long as he waits until I get my green light on Human Tree 2.

- Oh, God. - Can I get you anything?

She's had enough.

- I will have-- - These will do, actually.

Thank you. If Jack does propose--

I got two words for you:

"Belize wedding."

Shit. He's gonna propose?

What do you think we should do?

Whatever. It's like, once you get to that level of rich,

they get into these, like, dramas and stuff like it's fun.

They like it.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Hey.

Uh...

Sorry, I-I, um--this was--

I-I was going by and I saw this poster.

I was like, "What?"

I actually auditioned for A Far Cry, so...

You saw how?

I-I was--I--it was-- it was, like,

a reflection over there.

I literally heard your boss

tell everyone not to go in here.

Yeah, the clients' private--

Yeah, that's what this is.

And so I was--

why am I in here?

I'm-I'm just gonna--uh, no.

You don't--that's not for you.

- What the hell's this? - What is that?

What is that?

Huh.

I'm--

- We, uh-- - Right.

Jack and Tandy.

Jack's having an affair.

Or something that looks like it.

- I-- - It's unbelievable.

Again.

Again?

I am such an idiot.

It's--

sorry.

And you just tell me like a normal person.

I didn't want to fuck up the party.

You love parties that much?

No, my boss is in a tough spot with his company

and he's really hoping to do business with Jack,

so my plan was, hide the note, Ron does his business,

and then after the party, you get the note.

Maybe not the worst plan in the world.

I mean, I was a little proud of it.

- Maybe a good plan. - Thank you.

- Mm-hmm. - Anyway, I'm really sorry.

It's no big deal.

Your boyfriend's affair?

Oh, I thought you meant the private space policy thing.

Oh, no. We break that all the time.

I'm on two of Jack's Percocet right now.

- Mm. - Yeah. You want one?

Uh-huh.

♪ Everybody have fun tonight ♪

- Whoo! - Whoo!

♪ Everybody Have fun tonight... ♪

Oh, sure makes for a fun night, right?

Oh, it's a great gift. Great gift.

- You like karaoke? - Oh, I love it.

You know, I've-I've never tried it

in a home setting, you know?

Uh, way cooler, I imagine.

- It's similar, actually. - Oh.

You know what I was thinking would be cool

is to do, like, a theme thing, you know,

like Rat Pack Night or Disco Night.

Yeah, or-or-or-or-or Rock and Roll Night

or, uh...

uh, you know, other nights.

Probably drive Evie crazy, but...

Hey, who wears the pants, am I right?

I mean, you're Max America.

You make a solid point.

♪ Everyone ♪

Beautiful!

You know, maybe we should, uh, get eyeballs on a calendar,

you know, pencil in some dates?

I can handle all the boring details and--

What? What? What?

You use Tipo Fico?

Do I what?

It's Tom Ford's small-batch conditioner.

Yeah, I got a bottle at the, uh, Locarno Film Festival

in a swag bag.

I just--I've never met anyone who used it before.

No, I do not wear it, so...

Oh.

I see what you're getting. I'm getting that as well.

I feel like it's wafting in from over here.

I think it's that guy.

Shit, I'm buzzing.

Oh, I gotta take care of this.

But I'll come back with the calendar, okay?

Yes? Oh, finally. Thank God.

So I guess I just wanted to get a sense...

what's your take on the whole child actor thing?

Child actor thing?

You know, like Judy Garland.

- Who? - Excuse me.

Custom, made-to-order cake bite?

No, thanks.

Actually, um, apparently,

some child actors can end up with issues.

And since my daughter is a former child actor,

I was just wondering if you felt like--

Oh, I don't have any issues. I'm fine.

Oh.

Great.

Okay.

I mean... I don't know.

Maybe?

But you said no.

But maybe I'm actually pretty fucked up

and I've been a terrible person.

Oh.

Probably not that bad, right?

I mean, you probably haven't been that...

...fucked up in--oh, dear.

You seem pretty well-adjusted to me.

Are you sure?

God! Stupid, stupid.

Use his Tipo Fico.

What are you thinking, Ron?

What are you fucking thinking?

I use the booze and the drugs

as an excuse to act selfishly,

and I don't think of other people's feelings.

But do you think that this is a child actor thing

or-or a you thing?

I never had any normal friends.

I never got to goof around or go to prom.

You never got to go to the prom?

Shit.

Okay, make it quick.

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Under my skin ♪

Yeah.

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Deep in the heart of me... ♪

Compared to Jack, Joel is a pile of wet garbage.

- Hmm. - You're so lucky.

- Mm. - It's like a fairy tale.

God.

Let's go!

It is like a fairy tale. Yes, it is.

See, that should be a big red flag.

Why does anybody say that?

If it's like a fairy tale, it is a fairy tale.

It seems super obvious when you say it out loud.

♪ For the sake Of having you near... ♪

What do you think you're gonna do?

I'm gonna dump his ass

in a satisfyingly businesslike fashion.

After the party, per your little plan.

I appreciate you honoring the plan.

I see now. Solid plan.

Party's great, I fake my way through,

Jack books a bunch more, your boss gets rich,

I'm free, and it's just gonna be like a little--

I almost said fairy tale.

♪ Skin ♪

Yes, sir!

Oh, yeah. What a party, right?

And it's not just because of this beauty...

...but because of this beauty.

- Oh. - Aw!

Evie, you surprise me every day.

But this-- this is a really good one.

Okay, so, everyone,

I've been kind of figuring some stuff out,

and I feel like I owe some apologies.

Okay, Tandy, we're just

just finishing up a toast, okay?

Maybe you can do this later?

Okay, okay.

Uh, anyway, as surprises go--

Okay, so first,

Evie, I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings

when I was hooking up with Jack.

What?

Okay, okay, okay.

This is crazy.

- Evie, I swear-- - It's fine.

Enjoy your party. We'll talk about it later.

Okay, okay, second,

I want to apologize to you, Jack.

I used your upstairs bathroom when I knew it was off-limits.

- What the fuck? - I'm so sorry.

Mm.

Okay, we're clear. We're clear. Coast is clear.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Gimme ♪

♪ Gimme, gimme Gimme that now ♪

Manifest yourself.

Yes. Yes!

Got it!

Got what? What even was that?

It was the thing.

Great. Pack it up.

♪ I've been undressed By kings ♪

♪ And I've seen some things ♪

♪ That a woman Ain't s'posed to see ♪

♪ I've been to paradise ♪

♪ But I've never been to me ♪

♪ Hey, you know What paradise is... ♪

Hey, Jack, uh,

so I took the liberty of preparing, uh, an event form.

Okay, maybe we can run a few dates up the flagpole--

You took a shower

in my bathroom.

- ♪ It's that man ♪ - Bathroom.

♪ That you fought with This morning ♪

♪ The same one you're gonna ♪

♪ Make love with tonight... ♪

They only made 200 bottles of Tipo Fico, Ron.

Jesus Christ.

- No, no-- - Ron.

Ron, there you are. Here.

It's an event form. I need to throw a party.

Maybe the most important party of my life.

A prom.

Prom?

Escapade never got one.

I need to save her from the child actor thing.

Details are all there.

Deposit check's attached.

Okay. Okay.

You see?

God never closes a door without opening up a window.

Yeah, that's how a bear got my uncle.

Uh, seriously?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Thought you said you quit acting.

Oh, uh, I did.

This is a high school play.

The drama teacher at my school died.

There's no money to replace him, so they were like,

"Hey, Pollard, didn't you used to be an actor?"

Jeez, I feel bad.

If we had cast you in A Far Cry,

you would not be in this predicament.

Unless that story was an act too.

Oh, no. I auditioned.

You produced it?

In my pretentious early years.

- Mm-hmm. - Yes.

Did we call you back?

- No. - Hmm.

But it's good to finally know

who's to blame for my predicament.

Sorry.

I owe you a drink.

Here. This is me.

You know, just if you ever wanna collect.

Just promise no fairy-tale shit.

Oh, no, I'm a total mess,

guaranteed.

What's with the card?

Like, why is it weirdly big?

No, this. What's Party Dowm?

With an M?

Shit!